“Wanta dah moolee-rah, Han Solo,” the Hutt said. Meanwhile, while you are transfixed by the thought of take a magic sex bus journey into those undulating folds, Chris Christie is telling lies so he too can screw the union workers of his state.
New Jersey’s public-sector unions routinely pressure the State Legislature to give them what they fail to win in contract talks. Most government workers pay nothing for health insurance. Concessions by school employees would have prevented any cuts in school programs last year.
Statements like those are at the core of Gov. Chris Christie’s campaign to cut state spending by getting tougher on unions. They are not, however, accurate.
Facts are not important. Getting YouTube viewers is what’s important. Does anyone know where that teenager who makes the “Fred” videos lives? Chris Christie’s brawny slime-creature henchmen are going to deliver him a “message.” [Star-Ledger/NYT via The Awl]
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Chris Christie: More cushion for the pushin.
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand.
The New Jersey Penis Barrens.
More Ham for the Slam
More Meat for the Feat
More Bacon for the Shakin
More Ground for the Pound
More Christie for the Fistie
holy crap I had NO idea this Repiglitard was SO fucking fat! (I don't watches the teevee much) sweet holy jeebus he is one HUGE douchebag!
FOR THE LAST TIME HEALTH CARE AND PENSION BENEFITS ARE NOT FREE WE PAY FOR THEM WITH OUR LABOR UNDER TERMS NEGOTIATED IN A CONTRACT
Filthy economist!
Whatever. Commie.
Needs moar YOU BLOATED SACK OF SHIT, also.
Using that logic, education isn't free, either.
Next thing you'll tell me is that you're also a citizen and therefore entitled to have input on how the public employees in your state are compensated, because, being employees, they are particularly vulnerable to being mistreated by the government. Ha! Pull the other one.
I'd hire the "Numa Numa" kid first.
O-zone! I hardly knew 'em.
Must be decades since he's seen his pud.
Yeah, when your boudoir games include "who can find the biggest piece of dead skin and yeast", hot and sexy swallows a bottle of lye and dies horribly.
He's obviously eating enough to feed a small teacher's local. Dude, try a whole foods diet, not a whole buffet line diet.
How does someone like that even have sex?
Forget sex! How does someone like that even wipe his own ass?
Wipin' at the car wash, yeah. . .
clean the mudflaps, please. Do you suppose he has these tattooed on his ass cheeks? http://www.lillianrosechoppers.com/images/Mudflap...
Sort of, but they're not tattoos. They're the death stains of two women who died horrible deaths.
goddamit, made me spit wine all over my 'puter monitor, AGAIN!
Bet he doesn't fly on Southwest.
Not after the FLOTUS made the airlines charge by the pound (I'm determined to get that rumor started).
"With patience and plenty of saliva, the elephant deflowered the mosquito."
(cf.)
Scaffolding, duct tape and not nearly enough money left on a dresser?
Roll him in flour and look for the wet spot?
Since he's a dude, wouldn't that be the dry spot?
By having lots and lots of money.
By proxy, obvs.
By fucking over the poor and middle class.
Maybe it's like with pandas……they show him fatty porn and it draws him away from the table to the unsuspecting female.
With great difficulty.
He's only "sexy" for those who hate sex.
i can see the 'let's move' campaign is having great success in NJ.
If Christie is any indication, I think the NJ campaign is called "Let's Eat".
Bobby Baccalieri looks pretty good despite being shot to death in that toy train store.
The last time I looked anything like that, I was packing a suitcase for a trip to the maternity wing of a hospital.
Were you pregnant with triplets?
Were you pregnant with a cow?
Were you pregnant with triplets who were each pregnant with a cow?
Were you Kate Gosselin?
Or the Octo-Mom?
Also a lie.
In the land of obese pigs, the merely chunky guy is King.
When sociopaths are caught in a lie, they just tell another one and deny ever telling the first one, which is another lie. Sociopaths have been elected many, many times in the U.S. and they all eventually crashed and ended up on talk radio. For example, Roger Hedgecock, former Mayor of San Diego and some time Rush Limbaugh replacement.
You forgot "serial prevaricator" or "congenitally mendacious abomination" in front of Roger's name.
Mendacious. I forgot what a delicious word that was to roll around on your tongue.
Mendacious.
Once you use the expression “This is a mere tissue of mendacity!” you’ll never stop looking for occasions where it’s appropriate.
Fuck it! Let's go all the way to "Complete Asshole." I actually looked up his criminal file once and read the shit the DA said about him. Whew! "…displays a cavalier attitude about the election campaign laws he violated" etc. I can't remember the file number now (something like A#######), but I did call into his program once and asked him on-the-air if that number had any significance to him. His producer once told me "No one knows when he arrives or when he leaves and nobody cares."
<a href="http://courtindex.sdcourt.ca.gov/CISPublic/casedetailr?casenum=CR71286&casesite=SD&applcode=Rhttp://courtindex.sdcourt.ca.gov/CISPublic/casede… />
That's cheating. I went downtown and looked at the actual file. Had "appeal" stamped all over it. Basically, they stopped chasing him when he resigned and looked ruined politically instead of actually putting the fucker in jail. He makes much more money now with almost no stress and influences politics without consequence.
So, let this be a lesson to all DA's when dealing with corruption. When you have your teeth in their butts, don't let go too soon!
Wow, now the Liberty Bell is no longer the largest thing with a crack.
Great. Now I have to clean up the diet pepsi I just sprayed on my monitor….
Sorry, I owe you one.
Barb, you're not done slow fisting me
Oh sorry, I was frying off bacon to make you a club sammich when you were done. Let me pop in some chocolate chip cookies to bake while I toil away for ya.
It's still the hardest.
He's got the sexness. Just like that wham-bam-thank you-ma'am stud Louie Anderson.
Let's play the fat… I mean, feud.
that's not a man, that's a fucking egg with flippers and maybe legs, maybe just a base of some sort.
His base probably resembles him, a lot.
He's the largest fetus I've ever seen.
Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!
Lots of smiling faces behind Christie, hoping that, perhaps someday, they could get that big.
Chris Christie has what we called a dickdew. (his stomach sticks out more that his dick do) Get it. I'll be here all week.
Tides go in, Tides go out…., I think we finally found our explanation!
Yeah, but who put him dere, huh? Who put Chris Christie dere?
Christie ate O'Reilly?
With fava beans and a nice Chianti?
Oh, who am I kidding. He deep-fried O'Reilly and washed it down with a bucket of chili cheese fries and a keg of Yuengling.
And some were speculating that this fatso is possible Presidential material. I would imagine that they would have to reinstall the Taft bathtub if that ever happened.
Or get the Cleveland O.R. ready.
His biggest, ongoing problem is santorum.
You owe me a new vomit-free keyboard.
Does Christie's belly button get deeper as he gets fatter?
No, it's an outie.
And what is it with Wonkette today. You are expecting Conservatives to tell the truth? What' next, expecting them not to cruise for young boys?
Fats are stupid things.
That fucker is way fatter them me…how come his back isn't causing him trouble???
Better health-care than you gotz.
You are, of course, correct. And while he may have better health insurance, I still have a more ironic life…an insurance agent that doesn't have health insurance.
Another good way to cut the Jersey budget is to stop feeding Christie.
Dammit! That isn't right! Only wealthy corporations and billionaire tycoons should be allowed to lobby the legislature! What will happen to this great nation if the rabble work together to improve their lot? Oh, the HUMANITY!
"They are not, however, accurate."
Would it kill the NYT to just say "he's lying"?
Fine minds and all…
That's not a very bi-partisan word. And as you know, discourtesy between the parties is really the most pressing issue facing our country. Not the big billionaires stealing grandma's retirement money or nuthin'.
If the NYT printed Republican lies in red, it would be black and white and red all over.
How can I leave this behind.
That man is built to go inside pedo bear suits.
That man is a pedobear suit.
I think he went inside his business suit and nobody noticed…at least until they got within noseshot…
Goopta mo bossa, Chris!
For old time's sake: Chris "Crisco" Christie, Face of the GOP
WTF! Did he eat part of the "G" in GOP?
He only has two teeth? He must really be trying to work that Southern vote.
After totally devouring the 'O' (and 23 other deep fried letters of the alphabet), Governor Creosote only had room to nibble a bit on the wafer-thin mint 'G'.
They made it look like he took a bite out of the "G", Extemp.
I'm flattered that you noticed, Sheriff.
Subtle artistic touches such as that are why I rake in the graphic designer big bucks.
Was that video taken at the New Jersey Association for the Blind?
Right. Like this Mawrite-wannabee is gonna get moist over a governor "doing the right thing."
Upfisting avenger did what I could, ya'll.
Yo, downfister dawg…sign in, write a joke, see what happens. Too scared?
Hi troll. Just so you know. Each time you downfist a comment, George Soros donates another million dollars to liberal causes.
That's no moon!
This is good news. Because I am only on the cusp of obesity (6' 2", 230 lbs), I am even hotter and sexier.
FAP FAP FAP.
I"d like to find the downfister's employer coz that's a guy who hasn't done any work all day today.
is having [redacted] in your name a new meme or is Intense Debate screwy today?
Oh yeah…Christie isn't missing any meals.
It looks like downfister finally snapped from all the mockery. We were goofing on him pretty good today (see today's first Morning In US America Post) and so he's going to show us how us all by doing what we've made fun of him for.
All downfister's done is make all us of look out for the well being of our fellow commenter.
". . .who hasn't done any work all day today."
[crickets]
Ironic that, per IntenseDebate, this is my 500th comment.
Chris Christie's a lock to win the GOP presidential OM NOM NOM NOMination.
You're burying the lead here, Jack. A Republican politician lied, and the New York Times actually stated that what he said was not true. Granted, they didn't call him the lying liar that he is, but it is both shocking and refreshing to see our mainstream media actually doing their job for once; instead of giving it the usual, "some say the Earth is flat, others say it's round" treatment.
Perhaps the death of Broder has caused a disturbance in the farce.
This image assures me, Christie's adoring fans find him the Hostess with the Mostest.
Jack, if you were as attractive as Christie maybe you wouldn't hate everybody.
Ugh, now you all get to see the agony us New Jersey residents must endure every day…between the poisonous fumes emitted by the pharma industry and the poisonous fumes emitted by Chris Christie, it's a wonder I'm still alive.
Well look at the lady. She obviously just got off some long voyage with that sailors jacket she has on.
Wasn't he captain of the University of Delaware's Sumo team?
Remember when Bill Clinton's affection for Mc Donald's was a bad thing, among Republicans?
♪♫ Weebles wobble but they do tell lies! ♫♪
My favorite is when he visits Morning Joe on MSNBC and slobbers all over Mika Brzezinski. Fat creep!
Wearing trousers with belt, pulled up to the nipples is not sexy in the gay community.
To be fair, the nipples are trying to meet the pants half way.
Well obviously if they did that, the editor-in-chief would have to promptly resign.
I see nothing but a huge FUPA
He can't see his own dick. Res ipsa loquitur.
The Cloverfield monster doesn't look so scary up close.
Governor Christie: I look at your pants, and I need a kiss.
Big, big, pants.
He's fatter than michael Moore! That's just nuts!
The fattest of fat fucking fucks and also the fukkity-ist, I think you said once, Prommie. Something awesome and true like that.
Why isn't he wearing a kilt and singing about Baby Back Baby Back Baby Back Ribs
Idea for next Wonkette fundrasier- Guess the Gov's pants measurements!
I'm putting my money onf 52-30. Anyone?
Look Christie is in a tough situtation, being only one of two governors (the other being Walker) who is tough enough to go Fox News to to talk about cutbacks to social spending. As opposed to Jerry Brown, Pat Quinn, Deval Patrick etc. who are doubling teachers' pensions to $500,000 a year and lowering the retirment age for garbage men to 35.
I just love talks about austerity and belt-tightening from the likes of a man who clearly has no clue about moderation.
Hey, when did Rick Warren shave the goatee and start wearing ties?
A conservative telling easily refuted lies? And then crying about being called on it?
Such a thing is as rare as the Sun rising in the East.
As his spokeswhore put it, they are "splitting hairs."
Heated saddlebags. For the melted cheese.
Sexiest beach ball evah!
Hot and sexy? He hasn't been able to see his own dick in like 20 years.
Intensebate needs a cascading up fist option. I'm a lazy , hand-out taking libral , I shouldn't have to up fist everyone under me.
Christie is one of the beautiful people of the GOP (unlike unattractive liberal types like Michael Moore).
Sweet jumpin' fuckin' jesus, where does the top start and the bottom begin? These fat ass ring-wingers need to cut the shit with the "fiscally conservative" and move on to "eating conservative".
Isn't he the new spokesperson for heart attack grill?
In my best Scottish accent:
Of course I'm not happy! Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you do. I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook. I've not seen my willie in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead. I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive… myself. Sorry. I farted. It's a long road ahead.
Ya can almost see the turtle head peekin' out.
Naw gimme dat baybee
I can't tell if the woman in the front row is sneezing, laughing, or about to throw up, but I'm with her…
Man that dude has a huge Gunt.
Stripping New Jersey unions of their pensions and right to assemble will be considered nothing once Cristie's Metal Bikini Dress Code passes.
Chris Christie
Tommy Thompson
Erick Erickson
Lars Larson
…seeing a pattern here?
When he shits, do you think it all goes down in one flush?
I have heard it on good authority, that when Christie sits around the Statehouse, he sits AROUND the Statehouse.
Just occurs to me that Christie is the Heart Attack Grill anti-Jared, of politics. I don't want him to die of "pneumonia", just noting that the same truculent despair is at the heart of his otherwise inexplicable appeal.
In fairness to Governor Lardass, he DOES have a cute way of getting on and off: LIKE A FUCKING STEAM ROLLER! Ba-Dum!
He's not fat; he's simply thermodynamically efficient. A sphere has the smallest surface area-to-volume ratio of any of Nature's 3-dimensional shapes. Less heat wasted as radiated emissions!
btw, what was that alternate term for "panniculus"?
Butt gut, because of the crack resembling crease that begins to form.
Collops.
And you didn't automatically assume that some nameless "they" made it, so you win the flatter-off!
This populace is one great mass of diabetic goo. I guess that's sexy if you're a person of diabetic goo.
I picture him laying on top of his wife and wondering how his dick can get past his stomach. He is a fat lying fuck and I am sorry he is governor of my state.
Chubby-chasing is the new in-line skating.
Hot maybe.
Bait and switch. Mary Pat married this in 1986: http://photos.nj.com/star-ledger/2010/08/19838186...
Now she's stuck with Governor Wildebeest.
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