ARIZONA IS FULL OF GOOD MEMORIES  11:50 am March 10, 2011

Palin Starting To Tease About What Her 2012 Trainwreck Would Look Like

by Jack Stuef

Giving the tundra a vacation from her?The Republican presidential race has barely even begun to receive any news coverage, but even that level of attention is bothersome to Sarah Palin, who is used to 50% of all political news being about her unemployed life. But Palin has figured out a way to redirect some of this attention back to herself without actually stepping into the race: leaking details about how her campaign would be run, if she actually decided to do it. And so we’re going to get stuff like this: IF Sarah Palin ran for president, she would base her operation in Scottsdale, Arizona, near Bristol Palin’s recently purchased foreclosed meth palace.

It’s not clear whether or not this was a purposeful leak to Ben Smith, but this teasing is an idea she’ll probably take and run with anyway.

But back to this Arizona thing, here’s why it’s perfect:

Basing a campaign there would be a provocative rejection of any lingering political cost from those who connect her harsh rhetoric and Gabrielle Giffords’ shooting — a traditional refusal to retreat.

Yeah, wasn’t that great? That Gabrielle Giffords almost got all of the attention herself when she was shot, but, luckily, Sarah Palin quickly found herself inserted in the story. That was a close call!

Next week we will learn Trig would be the campaign manager if she ran. The week after that, we will learn the firm that would create her campaign website would be a team of actual female grizzly bears. And the week after that, we will learn voters would still have to buy tickets if they wanted to hear her speak on the campaign trail. [Ben Smith]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 208 comments }

Maman March 10, 2011 at 12:02 pm

OMG! She has quit Alaska too?! How will she live without that sweet, sweet Federal swag handed out to each and every Alaskan resident? Will she get a job?

riverside68 March 10, 2011 at 12:06 pm

No way she's giving up that oil money. AZ will be the office, AK the home. You don't have to live in AK to collect the money, it just has to be your "residence." See Emmanual and Chicago, Bush and TX etc etc.

Lascauxcaveman March 10, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Naw, the oil residuals checks only come to $1 or $2k a year; that 's chicken feed to a nationally successful grifter.

Shorter Sara "Fuck AK, at least it's warm in AZ."

twoeightnine March 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm

That's enough money to buy like 20 pairs of faux eyeglasses though!

PsycWench March 10, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Will she get a job?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *wipes eyes* You are SO funny.

occams8ball March 10, 2011 at 1:03 pm

I was thinking about that fatal question "What newspapers do you read?" today and I wonder if she heard 'the plural you' thinking that Couric was asking about all Alaskans? Her answer would make sense then as long as one assumes Sarah to be a complete idiot, I guess.

Come here a minute March 10, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Don't retreat, retweet.

Come here a second March 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Amen!

Chillwaver March 10, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Though the teasing game will continue, the Twatty Grifter™ will not run. Not now, not ever. The gravy train she's riding is just too good to pass on (and this is also, too, amen why the troll is downfisting everyone again).

Lazy Media March 10, 2011 at 12:50 pm

She might "run," by announcing, qualifying for the primaries, and setting up a campaign committee to take in donations, which will be quickly laundered through an array of Palin-owned "consulting" firms, like Bristol's PR agency. As far as doing anything to try to get elected, no, she won't run.

BarryOPotter March 10, 2011 at 2:36 pm

In all honesty, that sounds like the Palin E-Z Grift Plan(TM) all wrapped up with a purty bow on it. Expect to be sued for unauthorized use of it in blog comments…

Barbara_i March 10, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Would Fox news have to cut this cash moose loose if she decided to run?

LocalGirlMakesGoo March 10, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Yes, which is why she hasn't officially declared that she's running.

Lascauxcaveman March 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

But she hasn't yet not denied that she isn't not running yet.

Best send a large check to SarahPAC, to be on the safe side.

SorosBot March 10, 2011 at 12:07 pm

That would imply journalistic ethics, something foreign to Murdoch.

Upfist Fairy March 10, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Maybe Fox will let her keep her job since no one would take her presidential run seriously. However, that doesn't explain why they gave Newt and Rick the boot.

nedbeaumontjr March 10, 2011 at 1:21 pm

cash moose

Best piñata ever.

[redacted]Crusher March 10, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Well, they would look awful foolish if they didn't, right? Right?

freakishlywrong March 10, 2011 at 12:03 pm

a traditional refusal to retreat.

So, basically re-load? And this is helpful how?

BaldarTFlagass March 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Lesson from OJ's playbook?

"If I Did Run"

Fare la [redacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Grrr, beat me.

Urban_Achiever March 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Me too! Well played, sir.

LiveToServeYa March 10, 2011 at 1:46 pm

More like 'How I Would Screw It Up'.

Barrelhse March 10, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Sounds like a song from a Musical, also.

freakishlywrong March 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Ahh..I love a good downfisting in the morning…

BarackMyWorld March 10, 2011 at 2:19 pm

I love the smell of downfisting in the morning. The fisting itself? Not so much…

Barbara_i March 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm

And the zero p ratings start with only 5 comments posted.

DaRooster March 10, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Give 'em a break… they couldn't count how many comments there were… they just started fisting in the "Boo" way…
Nothing to add just down-fists.

CrunchyKnee March 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm

You know what? Fuck that cunt.

UpfistFairy March 10, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Comments like this are why I created a damn account. Fuck her indeed. With all the trolly downfists.

MegPasadena March 10, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Ew! Who will do it for the team?

BarryOPotter March 10, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Not I, said the fly
"I'm stuck in this shit
But even I have a limit"

Urban_Achiever March 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm

I can see the book title now: "If I Did It," by OJ Simpson (oops! I mean Lou Sarah)

ifthethunderdontgetya March 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm

…how her campaign would be run, if she actually decided to do it.

If I "Did It".
~

BaldarTFlagass March 10, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Ha ha, I already negated your votedowns, votedown fuckwit!!!

MinAgain March 10, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Mass migration of what few sane people are left in Arizona in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

Gopherit March 10, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Unlike Sarah, we're all retreating to Pima county…..and praying for the secession of Baja Arizona.*

*(I really hate that name, but it could be called Fucksawtardistan, as long as we get away from the rest of the state.)

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 10, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Flagstaff is pretty nice… I'd rather live there. Lots of trees and a nearby big hole in the ground.

PHX will now have a big hole, but still no trees.

Callyson March 10, 2011 at 12:25 pm

For real. I lived in that state for three years (the BF had a job there), and while I enjoyed the weather I could not stand the right wing wackos…
Sometimes I miss the BF, but news stories like this make getting over that breakup a lot easier…

BerkeleyBear March 10, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Personally, I'm waiting for the state to wind up being a real life version of "A Day Without a Mexican" and the ensuing culling of the craxy white herd when they try to do their own manual labor/gardening/dishwashing in the heat.

OC_Surf_[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Scottsdale, AZ huh?

The place was created in 1960 by a bunch of developers to look like a old-fashioned wild west town.

Contrived to the hilt.

Palin will fit right in.

tessiee March 10, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Just think of all the taxpayer money she can spend on cowgirl boots and Western-style snap shirts to dress up as her new "mama coyote" persona.

jodyleek March 10, 2011 at 12:07 pm

And she's probably writing "President of All of Them United States, Sarah Palin" all over her notebooks. Isn't that cute?!?!!

crybabyboehner March 10, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Todd is piss- writing "First Dude, Mr. Sarah Palin" in the snow.

tessiee March 10, 2011 at 4:03 pm

That will make a nice change from all the "Mrs. Vladimir Putin" and "Vlad & Sarah 4-eva!" doodles.

Come here a minute March 10, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Arizona needs her like a hole in the head.

freakishlywrong March 10, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Too soon?

Sophist [teadacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Not too soon enough.

BaldarTFlagass March 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Got money I'll do anything for you.
Got money just tell me what you want me to.
Got money nail me up against the wall.
Got money don't want everything he wants it all.

Head like a hole.
Black as your soul.
I'd rather die than give you control.
Head like a hole.
Black as your soul.
I'd rather die than give you control.

Got money's not looking for the cure.
Got money's not concerned with the sick amongst the pure.
Got money let's go dancing on the backs of the bruised.
Got money's not one to choose

You know who you are.

hollywooddood March 10, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Oh no you didn't!

LocalGirlMakesGoo March 10, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Upfists for everyone!

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 10, 2011 at 12:08 pm

On it.

ifthethunderdontgetya March 10, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Oh look, only 6 comments in and downfister trool has already shown up.

Sarah!, Sarah!, Sarah! shouted d.f. trool, as he divebombed the Wonkette commentariat from his subterranean lair in Mommy's house.
~

SorosBot March 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Mockery of their Queen seems to draw them even more than other posts; maybe it is Lou Sarah doing the downfisting.

Lascauxcaveman March 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

See, this is why I usually hold back, and comment later to protect my pee from the initial wave of down fisters.

I tremble in fear at the mighty, vengeful wrath of Downfister Troll!

hilacious March 10, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Fret not. For every Downfister Troll know that there is an Upfister Troll in its wake!

BaldarTFlagass March 10, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Or eight.

Lascauxcaveman March 10, 2011 at 1:48 pm

B-b-but the Mighty, Vengeful Wrath!"

[sobbing uncontrollably]

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 10, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Oh please, oh please. This will make my ignorant, Phoenix-dwelling, tea-tarded in-laws sooooo proud. Whenever I'm dragged out there they can beam with pride at who their fancy new neighbor is.

Surveyor marks for everyone! Right here, right on your foreheads. A little closer… yes, that's perfect: SMACK!

Fare la [redacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Todd will be hired on as Chief of Stuff.

JustPixelz March 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Future First Lady Todd… fixed.

V572625694 March 10, 2011 at 12:28 pm

"Stuff" in this case being extensive purchases at Nieman-Marcus, Saks, etc., paid with campaign money.

Fare la [redacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:34 pm

"'Embezzlement'? I have an Embezzler at home! It stuck those fancy pink rhinestones onto Bristol's jeans!"

SorosBot March 10, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Do the Palins believe in vabezzling?

horsedreamer_1 March 10, 2011 at 1:08 pm

True. As with the Toadies, he won't be a gentleman.

Radio[redacted]™ March 10, 2011 at 1:45 pm

If by "staff," you mean "dick," then I think you are correct.

SorosBot March 10, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Basing your campaign in Arizona just to rub it in Gifford's wounded face is a great idea, Sarah, downright Reaganite as he launched his campaign in Philadelphia, Mississippi, celebrating the ideology of those who murdered three civil rights workers there.

Steverino247 March 10, 2011 at 12:09 pm

The downfister is Sarah Palin. We already know she's the thinnest skinned politician in history, so who else could it be? Lou Sarah?

Bezoar March 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm

What I want to know is, (and I hope I'm the first to ask this), how did she get in to the Fortress of Solitude?

Barrelhse March 10, 2011 at 1:05 pm

I only wish she were in the Cone of Silence.

("Not the Cone of Silence, Max." *faceplant*)

nounverb911 March 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Is Palin going to move her trailer into Bristol's back yard?

BombyMcGee March 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm

I like that a "refusal to retreat" is now "traditional," like putting cheese on apple pie or going to the fair.

Fare la [redacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Great idea, Sarah. Basing it out of Arizona ranks right up there with the NRA holding their rally in Columbine, and remember what a success that was?

OC_Surf_[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Sarah and Cindy McCain can shop together, catch up on their lives, fondly remember how she destroyed her husband's chance of being President…

harry_palmer March 10, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Have at it – she's already destroyed one presidential candidate from Arizona.

trondant March 10, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Yeah, it looks like Walnuts was too senile to scrape off his boots after the election and tracked bullshit back into his house.

nounverb911 March 10, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Area 51 would be a better place for her HQ, she'd be closer to her people then.

[redacted]89048 March 10, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Not fair! I'm Area 51-adjacent.

DerrickWildcat March 10, 2011 at 12:13 pm

She will run for President , but only on her own terms!

Barbara_i March 10, 2011 at 12:15 pm

On her own "half-terms"

Fare la [redacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Swimsuit, Talent, and Evening Wear

jodyleek March 10, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Don't forget the fancy pageant walkin'.

horsedreamer_1 March 10, 2011 at 1:10 pm

I can see Sarah serving eight years, then refusing to leave office, void the election of her successor, & declare herself Empress of the Ameripalinian Crown.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 10, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Those terms are $650,000 a month, unlimited use of the private jet, unlimited shopping trips to Neiman Marcus for her and her family, a new snow mobile for Todd every month, her own production company, enough meth to keep everyone in Wasilla quiet, and nannies for all the illegitimate bastards grandchildren her kids keep popping out.

baconzgood March 10, 2011 at 12:13 pm

I don't care who runs I'm writing in Lou Sarah no matter what!!!!

undeterredbyreality March 10, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Hahahaha! You didn't get the downfist everybody else here got. The troll doesn't understand sarcasm!

baconzgood March 10, 2011 at 12:25 pm

I'm guessing that the troll has trouble understanding door knobs.

Barrelhse March 10, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Only to be challenged by Joe Miller.

Steverino247 March 10, 2011 at 12:13 pm

The GOP Presidential race is an exit, not an entrance.

Steverino247 March 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Oh, come on! That was funny, Madame Downfister! (Like I said, thin-skinned and bitchy)

Boredw/Gravity March 10, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Me also, too; you betcha. I love my daily dose of Palin illiteracy.

V572625694 March 10, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Really. In private emails, Alaskunt is probably not so fussy about grammar and spelling as she is in her public messages.

PsycWench March 10, 2011 at 12:34 pm

So I will have new examples of "word salad" to use in my classes when we're discussing schizophrenia and aphasias. Hurray!!!

OkieDokieDog March 10, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Nobody likes a tease, Sarah Lou, or Lou Sarah, or whatever your CB radio handle is this week.

KenLayIsAlive March 10, 2011 at 12:15 pm

I'm all for Sarah Palin having a meeting with a bunch of Grizzly bears. Preferably hungry, angry ones.

Barrelhse March 10, 2011 at 2:36 pm

With a salmon tied around her neck.

Sue4466 March 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm

I'm starting to think Sarah has an intensedebate account too. Given her unemployment status, she does have the time to be here downfisting any comments about her.

berkeleyfarm March 10, 2011 at 12:30 pm

You don't have to be logged in to do it.

LocalGirlMakesGoo March 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm

He's a busy little [redacted] today!

KenLayIsAlive March 10, 2011 at 12:16 pm

No! Then the terrorists have won!

baconzgood March 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Sarah likes the idea of an AZ base because AZ is full of crack pot-meth-gun toting-racist-hicks, but Sarah…..There are Messi-cans there…..You know "Browner" people. They're icky. Try Alabama instead.

Fare la [redacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Bad choice. 'Bama has "blacker" people. Some even as black as Barack Obama!

Barbara_i March 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall when she asks John to be her Veep? Sarah and Cindy would have to travel to the hospital in the same ambulance to get Cindy's size 7 Jimmy Choo out of her ass.

OC_Surf_[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY COMMENT?? Downfisters and lost comments, WTF?

REPOST: It will be nice that Sarah and Cindy McCain can go shopping at Fashion Square, share stories about what successful and beautiful daughters they raised, remember fondly how Sarah destroyed any chance Cindy's husband had of being President…

El Pinche March 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

OK, it's official.
I'm sick and tired of that sperm-burping meth cunt.

Steverino247 March 10, 2011 at 12:19 pm

OK, I'm stealing that one. Que bueno!

El Pinche March 10, 2011 at 12:27 pm

By all means, spread it around.

ttommyunger March 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Only the Alaskunt could scare the middle enough to vote for the black guy again. Remember, Dubya is just a distant memory now, a bad dream; nothing to frighten voters away from all things Republican. Barry's election was the result of a perfect storm which acted in his electoral favor. Only Sarah can save his black ass, assuming it is worth saving….Frankly, I've been wondering about that lately.

genxr March 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

If she really wants to get her message across, she could hold a campaign rally in the Safeway parking lot.

Barrelhse March 10, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Yes, while Willow cruises the Target lot.

BaldarTFlagass March 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

She would have liked to testify at Peter King's hearings today and taken her obligatory shot at the Muslims, but then she found out that testimony at hearings is not compen$ated, and they don't have the bendy straws there either.

Chillwaver March 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

The best part about the Downfisting idiot is that for every donwfist, we get at least 10 upfists from fellow Wonketteers. So thank you very much, you fucking Troll!

BaldarTFlagass March 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm

It sure motivates me to upfist a lot more than I would ordinarily. I mean, my metric is normally "makes me laugh a laugh that makes an audible sound." But VD Troll makes me pass them out like candy.

chickensmack March 10, 2011 at 12:28 pm

I just posted an upfist for all our own in the Wonkette Circle Jerk. Doin' my part!

Weenus299 March 10, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Puck Sara Falin. And her whole famn damily.

V572625694 March 10, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Trig's blameless at this point, though.

BaldarTFlagass March 10, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Wow, a Filipino Wonketeer! Who'd a thunk it?

Barrelhse March 10, 2011 at 1:12 pm

"Let's do Chuck!"

donner_froh March 10, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Palin must be suffering particularly severe withdrawal symptoms just now–not only the first gas pockets in the GOP swamp are beginning to bubble up for 2012 but Peter King has jumped to the head of the crazy line.

jus_wonderin March 10, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Sarah, we really don't care. Actually, we don't even give a fuck.

Mumbletypeg March 10, 2011 at 12:31 pm

The squalidrons of flaketards who do, though, will be polluting AZ's highways/ roadsides this Sunday more than just about anywhere else.
Congrats, Arizona.

genxr March 10, 2011 at 12:34 pm

A traffic jam in support of a train wreck! Imagine the imagery!

nounverb911 March 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm

If the Palins move to AZ, where will Todd race his snowmachines?

V572625694 March 10, 2011 at 12:35 pm

In AZ, these are the preferred destroyers of terrain, solitude and quiet.

Barbara_i March 10, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Ah, a Todd Quad. Will there be a sidecar for his hooker?

V572625694 March 10, 2011 at 12:43 pm

You mean Greta?

Barbara_i March 10, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Yeah, it will be a nice little treat for her to go for a ride after she is done handwashing Sarah's delicates. I just hope that she has the common sense to take the crockpot, half filled with moose stew, out of the kitchen sink first. The idea is to get the moose stew stains OUT of the silkies and not to add more.

Sophist [teadacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Has she revealed what the campaign-derailing political scandal that sunk her candidacy would be, if she ran?

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 10, 2011 at 12:31 pm

I'm still betting that she is really a tranny.

nounverb911 March 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

What kind of gun will Trigg carry once they make the move to AZ?

Barbara_i March 10, 2011 at 12:32 pm

A drooling pistol.

Barbara_i March 10, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Bah ha ha, the downfister brought me to a zero on that one. Hey, I said it and I laughed. You can't take that away from me dickhead!

kissawookiee March 10, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Any kind with a Trigger. Hope he doesn't Tripp while carrying it.

Boredw/Gravity March 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

No, but she can see the 18th green. Take up golf, Sarah — show the political system some mercy and leave it alone for a little while.

donner_froh March 10, 2011 at 12:22 pm

It really is time to put up or shut up for 2012. Since she is Sarah Palin she won't do either.

chickensmack March 10, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Now the World's Worst Mother™ may — like Poppy did in 1992 with Texas — adopt a whole goddamned state.

An aside to Gopherit, who lives in Arizona: This will make you a stepchild to a trophy wife.

Gopherit March 10, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Meh. She won't even be in the top ten of idiot fucktards in this state. Come here, Sarah. You probably think you'll be coming to Galt's Gulch, but you won't be anyone special here. We have retards to spare.

SenileAgitation March 10, 2011 at 12:25 pm

More importantly, she could renew her warm mentor-mental case relationship with Senator McCain, the desperate geezing hypocrite local patriot who first recognized her ambition qualifications and brought her to the gravy trough our grateful attention. Plus, you can see Mexico from AZ. If she were to consider serving her country in this manner.

q_tion_evrythng March 10, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Ha, ha, LOVE your handle!! And by that, I mean "SenileAgitation."

randcoolcatdaddy March 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

I don't know why, but lately when someone mentions "Sarah Palin", I keep thinking of Saran Wrap.

OC_Surf_[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:27 pm

That's what most 'baggers wish she would wear…

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 10, 2011 at 12:29 pm

And what the rest of us hope would be placed over her mouth.

Barrelhse March 10, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Yeah, and for some reason "Saran Wrap" made me think of a dry-cleaner bag over her head.
I like this game.

OneDollarJuana March 10, 2011 at 12:27 pm

I'll betcha if the IRS cares to take a look at Lou Sarah's returns, there's a bit of "rent" being paid to Bristol for use of the house as a "campaign" office, and that there is a commensurate write-off against Lou Sarah's taxes.

berkeleyfarm March 10, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Oh, I'm sure if the PAC/other finances were examined with the searching eye, there would be a lot of … "improprieties". Anyone who thinks Bristol was paying for her three bedroom condo, car, and live-in babysitter out of her own money?

I mean, a number of Sarah's spiritual advisors were among the group that worshipped the Wall Street bull, and they are definitely among the wackier strain of "name it and claim it"/"blab it and grab it" dominionists that think that they are doing God's Work to seperate unbelievers from their money (and put it in their own pockets).

The kicker is that Palin's probably politically immune from an audit at the moment. So the IRS is going after hairdressers and pizza boys instead.

Chillwaver March 10, 2011 at 12:27 pm

More like "an old canard."

horsedreamer_1 March 10, 2011 at 1:07 pm

A wounded duck only flies one way — into the hands of a defensive back for a team contesting a match with whatever team Brett Favre quarterbacks.

V572625694 March 10, 2011 at 12:27 pm

She doesn't have to do anything in my book, but the possibilities open to her are tantalizing.

owhatever March 10, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Can't she … just of ONE day … shut the hell up?

ManchuCandidate March 10, 2011 at 12:27 pm

So, she's finally accepted her role as Wil S. Coyote in the Obama-runner cartoons.

genxr March 10, 2011 at 12:37 pm

that would make McCain Elmer Fudd?

ManchuCandidate March 10, 2011 at 12:47 pm

More like Pepe Le Pew. Lusts after the cat who looks like a skunk then deeply regrets it.

tessiee March 11, 2011 at 12:58 am

I will look forward to her buying a Candidate Kit from Acme Corporation, and when she pries the crate open with a crowbar, it will contain a giant magnet, which will then pull her into a rock wall/onto train tracks/off a cliff.

nounverb911 March 10, 2011 at 12:27 pm

When will it be revealed that Palin hired an illegal house keeper?

BaldarTFlagass March 10, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Do they have a lot of icebacks up there in Alaska?

Barrelhse March 10, 2011 at 1:40 pm

It was Todd who did that.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 10, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Dear God, how many tragedies must Arizona endure?

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 10, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Palin Starting To Tease About What Her 2012 Trainwreck Would Look Like

You would think she would have learned from Bristol what happens if you tease too much.

jus_wonderin March 10, 2011 at 12:56 pm

In Sarah's mind (<<??) she would be Mother President to the Nation. She would give birth to a new style of governance that would be at 'tarded as Triglet.

Chet Kincaid March 10, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Track Palin was conceived out of wedlock, so who's schoolin' who?

jus_wonderin March 10, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Wasn't her kids move to AZ to get away from her? Geez, even Bristol can't loose Sarah.

Barbara_i March 10, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Sarah is going to be really busy making up names and writing glowing letters about herself to the editor of the Arizona newspapers.

Callyson March 10, 2011 at 12:29 pm

On the positive side, perhaps she will come down with what many newcomers to the desert get:
Valley fever is a fungal infection caused by coccidioides (kok-sid-ee-OI-deze) organisms. It can cause fever, chest pain and coughing, among other signs and symptoms. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/valley-fever/DS0
Not a fatal disease, mind you, but it can last for weeks…long enough to distract the Quitter from Wasilla into doing something else…

widestanceroman March 10, 2011 at 12:29 pm

I can see it now, she'll pretend to get shot and be crippled with amnesia, just like every other soap opera hag has to do to stay on the air.

Also: upfist orgies rock!

chicken[redack] March 10, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Speak for yourself. At first, they're great… all posts appear, including replies.

Later on, as more users post and reply, I must adjust my glasses to look for red reply links, expand them, and check the upfist color code. What's worse? Sarah Palin stories gobble up our collective fervor to out-smartass one another in our matriarchal hatred of Miss Absolute Zero.

BombyMcGee March 10, 2011 at 12:31 pm

If she runs, the resulting swarm of reporters will definitely be good for the Scottsdale economy. Especially purveyors of liquor and donuts.

JustPixelz March 10, 2011 at 12:34 pm

How nice that Sarah Palin™ is moving to AZ to be near her daughter and grandson! I'll bet they're humbled by her unselfishness. Also shocked.

Sophist [teadacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Or something really horrifying, like donating money to the ACLU or something.

BaldarTFlagass March 10, 2011 at 12:38 pm

I might have to re-examine and adjust my standards. However, I'm a bit worried about getting carpal tunnel syndrome in my upfist finger.

Extempor[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Hatefist America: Vote Palin/[redacted] in 2012!

hagajim March 10, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Just what Arizona needs, another batshit crazy politician (apologies to Gabby)…but what with Jan Brewer, Walnutz and that wingnut sherriff….how many other shitheads does this state need. Remember, ol Timmy McVeigh made his home in the desert state as well.

Sue4466 March 10, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Look on the bright side, maybe AZ will secede.

mourningnmerica March 10, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Oh, great. Now Tawd is going to have to find a new, compliant, overweight, aboriginal type to make the sexy with. What a bother. I bet he is dreading making the hole tripp.

jq[redacted]heywood March 10, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Oooh. Been there. Now THAT is a nasty little place, indeed.

jq[redacted]heywood March 10, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Excellent point…I hadn't thought of that. I wish this Intense Debate thingy had a "New!" flag for things I hadn't yet read.

BaldarTFlagass March 10, 2011 at 12:49 pm

What, looking for the real killer quitter on our nation's finest golfcourses? Or getting busted in a Sarah memoribilia heist?

widestanceroman March 10, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Right after it is discovered whose baby is whose.

aqua_buddha March 10, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Hard to figure out how this Playtime Candidate thing is going to work itself out.
She can't reasonably expect a nomination in the current climate, not even with a wack coalition of toothless olds and wholesome american gun-racists …
As a non-contender, she can't really expect a whole lot of anyone to care once 2012 is over, and she didn't run, or win, or place, or show, or anything at all.
The money may be okay for the moment but it isn't all that fat, and could dry up quick.
So either it's the role of spoiler with a possible no-chance third-party candidacy meant to throw mud in every direction, ala a kind of national, wackadelic Sharon Angle / Christine O'Donnell strategy.. or it's just not a strategy. She's running in a squirrel's treadmill where she's dead if the wheel stops.

Well, I suppose in a culture that views bizarre stoneagers like Newt, Buchanon and Dick Morris as worthwhile, she figures she has a few years on the milktrain. Breaking : Next hour, on Hannity: Sarah Emphatically Agrees With Sean That Obama Is Not Only Horrible But Also Black, By The Way. Keep it right here on Fox.

tessiee March 11, 2011 at 1:04 am

"Hard to figure out how this Playtime Candidate thing is going to work itself out.
She can't reasonably expect a nomination in the current climate"

You're giving her a lot of credit to assume that she remembers what an election is, much less cares one way or the other. She's old news in Alaska, so she's moving to another state full of dumb hicks so she can be the center of attention there.

Rush_Oxycontin March 10, 2011 at 1:14 pm

I hope she moves in next door to McCain. He is the one who unleashed her on the world.

Eve8Apples March 10, 2011 at 1:29 pm

When she isn't out verbally masturbating on the campaign trail, she can while away the hours shooting Messicans from a helicopter.

Barbara_i March 10, 2011 at 1:31 pm

I'm sick of the whole Palin clan. They are the grift that keeps on grifting.

Barrelhse March 10, 2011 at 1:33 pm

I predict some Van Flein sightings in the area. He's kinda like stink on shit with that family.

deanbooth March 10, 2011 at 1:35 pm

I wouldn't call her base in Arizona a traditional refusal to retreat. Like most criminals, she's returning to the scene of the crime

MegPasadena March 10, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Some say she might try to run for Jon Kyl's senate seat.
It will be fun to see her run against Giffords.
Or she is just waiting for McCain to die so Jan Brewer can appoint her.

MegPasadena March 10, 2011 at 1:49 pm

To extend her foreign affair credential, she will now start watching Mexico from her house.

qwerty42 March 10, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Courtesy Andrew Sullivan who based it on an article from John Phillips on why Palin should be the GOP nominee:

If the GOP is going to lose, why not go out with an emotionally satisfying bang?

cheaphits March 10, 2011 at 6:48 pm

It' is very hard to imagine S. Palin as an "emotionally satisfying bang".

As a hate fuck, maybe.

AnotherAlaskan March 10, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Hey, troll, I see your downfist and raise you an upfist for everybody.

As it happens, today I shall be in the neighborhood of Ranchero de Palins. I think I'll make a drive-by sneer.

[redacted]Crusher March 10, 2011 at 1:55 pm

KHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHNNNNNNNN!

MrFizzy March 10, 2011 at 1:58 pm

The Shemp of American politics – keep going girl, we need the comic relief.

Chet Kincaid March 10, 2011 at 2:02 pm

She also announced that Gabrielle Giffords' convalescent bedroom would be the campaign's War Room. If She Did It.®

MoeDeLawn March 10, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Miserable twat. Palin and Arizona are codependent – like Olestra and Depends.

fuflans March 10, 2011 at 2:10 pm

well on the plus side, this helps consolidate all the FAIL in one state.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 10, 2011 at 2:19 pm

El Norte del norte!

jus_wonderin March 10, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Ya know, you'd think she would go ahead and announce. She's has to have worn out all those RNC clothes by now.

JoeBiteme March 10, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Well, that does it. I love my parents, but they'll just have to come visit me in DC, 'cause I'm never taking the elevator down to Arizona (aka "Hell, Level 7") ever again.

The whole fucking state has become a magnet for non-traditional chromosome configurations…

tessiee March 10, 2011 at 3:44 pm

"But back to this Arizona thing, here’s why it’s perfect:

Basing a campaign there would be a provocative rejection of any lingering political cost from those who connect her harsh rhetoric and Gabrielle Giffords’ shooting — a traditional refusal to retreat."

Look, you guys, I'm totally in favor of a "Sarah Palin is so dumb that…" joke meme — but dammit, I'm not willing to put *impossible* amounts of effort into making up jokes that are worse than her actual behavior!

I mean, if there's a joke that tops, "Sarah Palin is so dumb that she thinks running her campaign from the site of a shooting that she helped enable makes her look blameless instead of tone-deaf and callous", it will take a greater mind than I have to think it up.

natoslug March 10, 2011 at 3:45 pm

NOOOOOOOOO! I'm sorry, Soros, but I accidentally thumbed you the wrong way. I'll make up for it elsewhere, I promise. We need bigger thumb icons for those of us who haven't updated our prescriptions lately. Um, that's eyeglass prescriptions. Although I am sure other prescriptions would help as well.

sportshort March 10, 2011 at 3:51 pm

If she moved to mah butt, I'd be a constituent. Or constipated, I forget which.

AlaskaGrrl March 10, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Oh, not to worry. She'll quit half way through.

DREGstudios March 10, 2011 at 5:19 pm

The public is finally coming around to seeing the true Sarah Palin. Instead of smiling and nodding while talking about murders and national tragedies, she should have shown some humility. I was compelled to create a visual commentary of her political rhetoric and its effects on my artist's blog at http://dregstudiosart.blogspot.com/2011/01/sarah-… Drop by and let me know what you think.

cheaphits March 10, 2011 at 7:01 pm

I got lost there for almost an hour. My compliments – loved the artwork, but found the text just as compelling, a tip of the pith helmet for the piece on Hunter S. Thompson.

Anyone who comes here should go there.

JackObin March 10, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Palin's 2012 campaign will look just like America!. To wit; stupid, vacuous, inane and a strange, blank stare when confronted with big words.

lochnessmonster March 10, 2011 at 5:23 pm

I still think they had Bristol buy it but it's really McCain and Sarah Mama Grizzly Bear Lipstick on a Pitbull Palin's love shack!

PublicLuxury March 10, 2011 at 8:08 pm

What a sickening little bitch. She's such a lint licker

MiniMencken March 11, 2011 at 2:01 am

On the positive side, Maricopa is a day's scenic drive to all of the fine legal brothels around Las Vegas. And we Enquirer readers all know how Der Todd goes for das Mädchen…

The Pissed Off Tree Rat April 21, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Hello. My name is The Pissed Off Tree Rat. Any chance a Libertarian can get a comment posted here, or is that forbidden? It seems that's the case so far.

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