it's morning in america

World Powers Deeply Concerned For Humanity, Debate No-Fly Zone

You're always thinking about war stuff!

  • Gadhafi has tens of billions of dollars stashed all over Tripoli, according to anonymous “American intelligence officials” who probably just pulled that estimate out of their hairy cornholes. So despite an international freeze on all of Gadhafi’s assets, The Crazy Colonel could still easily bankroll his mercenary army for 1,000 years, unless of course NATO reluctantly intervenes and saves all that delicious oil, reluctantly. Meanwhile, NATO defense ministers are meeting today to discuss the possibility of implementing a no-fly zone over Libya, and other “international responses” to this civil war. France has already recognized Libya’s rebel leadership, and Obama says he will wait for “European and Arab support” before we invade — what a gentleman! When NATO does eventually intervene, it will be for “humanitarian purposes,” just like when the Concerned World Powers invaded Sudan and stopped the ongoing genocide in Darfur! Haha. [NYT/CNN]
  • The Dalai Lama announced that he will cede his political responsibilities to “a leader elected freely by the Tibetan people.” [BBC]
  • “Only 1 American in 7 has faith a lasting economic recovery has taken hold and a plurality say they are personally worse off than they were two years ago.” [Bloomberg via Political Wire]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

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  1. freakishlywrong

    Ameriduh today: Wingnuts: "We must go to war in Libya and save the Moslems from the terr'ist Gadfly!"

    Wingnuts: Right after we witchhunt Moslems in Congress for the terrorizms.

    Wingnuts: "We're Broke"

    Democrats: "Wait. What??!"

    1. Fare la [redacted]

      If 8 years of St. George taught us anything, wars always pay for themselves. Just like tax cuts!

  2. ManchuCandidate

    It's blood for oil!

    Note to Kim Jong Il… it's not your half assed barely functioning joke of a thing you call a nukular program that keeps you US America free… it's the fact that you have nothing of value that the West wants that keeps you free. Otherwise you'd get strange bedfellows like France, China, Roosha and the US America to bomb your asses for freedums.

    I love Realpolitik.

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            Guys, I think the original comment was about the Korea to the north, not the one that's swimming in Samsungs and Hyundais.

            Hell, if they had any of that stuff, they could trade it for food and not be all starvin' and shit.

            Hell, wouldn't it be funny if someone convinced Kim Il Soong (or whatever) to take all the moneys from their nuke program and make a really cheap electric car. It wouldn't even have to be very good to sell pretty well; check out what Hyundais looked like around 1989 or so.

    1. OneDollarJuana

      Just wait til our outsourcing "patriotic" corpersons figure out that they could get slave workers for even less than in China. I bet the North Koreans would work for peanuts. Literally. One airline bag per month.

    1. SorosBot

      They actually want the economy to be bad so, like in the midterms, they can blame it on Obama and win in 2012; they do not give a shit at all about the American people, only their own political fortune so they can continue to rob from the poor to give to the rich.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          Cat food? Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!

          1. prommie

            You had it easy, my dad would murder me, and then dance about on my grave, singing hallelujah.

          2. SorosBot

            For lunch, I'm gonna go to the park and see if the rain has driven any worms out of the ground. Mmm, earthworms is good free eatin'!

  3. Barbara_i

    The politicians seems to be focused on cutting Planned Parenthood out, overturning Roe v Wade and making sure that those who want to marry cannot and those who want to get out of a marriage are forced to stay married.

    The middle class is being bludgeoned and if this doesn't stop there will be two classes, the poor and the grossly wealthy.

    1. ManchuCandidate

      It's call Feudalism, baby. You and me and most of the Wonketteers and the non riches are the Serfs.

      I'm angling to get me one of them "Bring out Yer Dead" Jobs. It's good steady work and the chances of me dying quickly increase.

      Hurray Feudalism!!!… I mean, Freedumbz.

      1. Ruhe

        Can't engage in political conversation now. Busy picking through the trash. Oh, look! There's some lovely filth over here!

        1. jus_wonderin

          You can make a great Vichyssoise from tossed french fries. I am going to hang around the trash bins at Mickey D's at lunch.

      2. undeterredbyreality

        Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

      1. Fare la [redacted]

        Quick, alert Sister Sarah!

        Wait, I forgot. She only cares about her special needs kid. All the others are just lazy snots with droopy faces. My bad.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          To borrow an old saying — I think it applies — this is what we have to remember about the half-term Duh'vner: Arguing on the Internet is like winning the Special Olympics Sarah Palin: Winning? Hell, you're still retarded.

        1. undeterredbyreality

          Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then?
          The Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king Koch.
          Large Man with Dead Body: Why?
          The Dead Collector: He hasn't got shit all over him.

    2. SorosBot

      But the teabaggers said they stood for freedom; why are they giving us the exact opposite?

      1. Mumbletypeg

        They (or their mob daddies) won't recognize it as freedom *their* way, until everyone else has nothing left to lose.

          1. Fare la [redacted]

            TSA makes no guarantee of freedom, only the guarantee you'll make it out in one piece. And to ensure that, they've got to see what pieces you have beforehand.

          2. SorosBot

            Well how can we be truly free if, at any moment, we might get scared that some brown guy might be ter'ist who might blow up the plane? To prevent that we need a pointless invasive search that makes it look like the TSA is doing everything they can to protect us.

          3. Barbara_i

            The focus is thrown on the brown people to keep people from seeing what the rich, white pasty guys are doing to America.

            I was at the Home Depot in San Diego and there were Mexican gentlemen who were holding a cardboard sign that said "2" I asked the woman next to me what that meant. She said they were here to take our jobs and that meant "2 men for hire" (doing yard work.) I asked what she did for a living and she said she was a nurse. I asked her, "where do they keep they stethoscopes?" She didn't get it and probably never will.

          4. Lascauxcaveman

            I asked her, "where do they keep they stethoscopes?" She didn't get it and probably never will.

            Nurse (while driving home 1 hour later) "D'oh!"

  4. harry_palmer

    Only 1 American in 7 has faith a lasting economic recovery has taken hold and that one person works at Goldman Sachs or Citibank. The other six out of seven are the cops and teachers who are funding their bonuses by sacrificing their pensions.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      France has a centuries-long, love-hate-love relationship with North Africa and gets handsy on a regular basis. They cannot help themselves, those passionate Gauls.

  5. MildMidwesterner

    Can't we just empower the East India Company / Halliburton to take over whatever the hell it wants on our behalf? After all, it worked out really well for the Brits for a couple of centuries.

    1. OneDollarJuana

      The first transnational corporation, the Dutch East India Company, proved to be a cancer on all societies. Maybe the Dutch should have figured out that such broad commercial power is not necessarily a good thing, and must be tightly reigned in.

    2. PubOption

      How much is Gaddafi paying his mercenaries? Would Halliburton, Xe et. al., be prepared to offer them more money to change sides?

  6. randcoolcatdaddy

    “Only 1 American in 7 has faith a lasting economic recovery has taken hold and a plurality say they are personally worse off than they were two years ago.”

    Personally, I'm worse off than I was before Shrub was elected a decade ago, but that's another story….

      1. Texan_Bulldog

        Remember Cost of Living Increases? Good times! Mr. TB actually had a pay reduction but got to keep his job…errrr, good news, I guess.

        1. DemmeFatale

          Yep. Mr. Demme got a pay cut, no bonus, and furlough days, (unpaid days off).
          We love those furlough days here in CA!
          Good times indeed!

          1. undeterredbyreality

            Down here in Louisiana, they are [redacting] tenure, firing full professors and hiring them back as instructors at less than half the pay. Yay educashun! Yay Rhodes Scholar Governor Piyash–oops, I mean "Bobby."

            Works fer me–duz it fer you?

      2. WordSalad[Redacted]

        For the past 12 years, I have taught summer school at a local high school. I just received my first "raise" in three years. I hardly knew what to do with myself! I think I'll spend it on hookers and blow.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          As fed worker, I've got to wait till Jan 2013 (maybe) for my next raise. I've already put my celebratory eight-ball on layaway down at the MethMegaMart.

          1. horsedreamer_1

            If I were thirty pounds lighter, I'd think about doing porn. & then trying to score a Bree Olson like turn with a female Charlie Sheen type (Kathy Griffin?).

    1. harry_palmer

      Another story that they're trying to drown out by shrieking that it's all the Kenyan Muslin's fault.

  7. freakishlywrong

    Did anyone else hear last night, (on Maddow?), that Michigan had done some obscene, dumb thing as well? Something about dismantling local municipalities and replacing them with a person appointed by the Governor?

    1. SorosBot

      It's ridiculous; it basically would allow the Governor to appoint emergency town managers with pretty much absolute power over a municipality that in his opinion faces a financial crisis, including the power to fire local elected officials:

      You know, Rome had an emergency position like that; Julius Caesar once held it. What was it called again? Dic-something, I think…

        1. comptoneffect

          “The one in Michigan is just called a dick.”

          And because Michigan is shaped like a mitten you could say the dick is in the hand.

      1. An_Outhouse

        How do you say little Eichmans in American? These zombie Repug are just spreading Koch's banal evil.

      2. Negropolis

        Not only that, but when our senate minority leader, Gretchen Whitmer (go look her up on youtube), tried to put a cap on the pay of these emergency managers so that they couldn't make more than the governor, the Republicans voted down the amendment, though, to their credit, the Lt. Governor had to break the tie as a bunch of Republicans bolted and sided with the Democrats on the amendment. This isn't about saving anyone any money. It's a blatant power grab.

        BTW, Whitmer taunted the tea party ("Where's the tea party, now?") and it was a thing of beauty.

    2. gef05

      Thanks for mentioning this (and thx to Soros for providing the link). I'd not seen it.

      So. For a few years we've been seeing a steady swing to the right. But it's turned into a stampede.

      Bloody hell.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Kid Rock will amass a fortune, beyond even his father's Cadillac dealership, in minerals contracts, then buy the Pistons.

  8. Oblios_Cap

    Fewer than 1 in 5 Americans say stricter regulation is preventing banks from lending to businesses and homebuyers. They are twice as likely to believe banks aren’t regulated enough and endangering the economy with risky acts.

    Won't somebody please feel sorry for those poor Masters of Finance? They're so persecuted!

    1. fuflans

      and yet those same americans have just filled their federal and local goverments with reps determined to rewind any regulation whatsoever.

      well, 'cept for unions.

  9. Texan_Bulldog

    Don't know why we don't take Snowbilly/Bolton/Newtie's advice about just going in & invading Libya. Hey, those people are brown, have oil & would probably like America spending billions of $$ to re-build their country since we're doing such a bang up job in Iraq. Gawd, between this & WI, I am so depressed this morning.

    1. BarryOPotter

      How many Americans can define plurality without googling the term?

      A sub-plurality? 1 in 7?

    2. jus_wonderin

      Plurality. I had that once. I coughed like crazy. But a few days of rest and I was all better.

  10. SorosBot

    You know, I think I've realized why members of the libertarian cult are always big on "this is a republic, not a democracy" as if they're saying something profound. They want America to go to a system like that of the Roman Republic, in which the rights of citizens was determined by their wealth, with the people divided into distinct classes with progressively more rights in creating the law.

    1. ManchuCandidate

      Which would make sense if I knew any Libertarian who was a success and wasn't a low level IT guy with the interpersonal skills of a Wolverine with hemorrhoids or a loser who keeps getting fired because he pisses people off with his Aspergers like personality.

      1. SorosBot

        But they know, once the power of the One True Holy Free Market is realized, they will no longer be held down by the evil of Socialism but rise to take their rightful place among the masters because they are just inherently better than everyone else, as proven by their acceptance of the Light of the Market and Its' great prophet Ayn.

        Shit, Scientologists' theology makes more sense that Objectivists'.

        1. ManchuCandidate

          To me an Ayn Rand fan is a pretty good indicator that he's a proud owner of Dunning Krueger Syndrome (Incompetent people can't judge competence, live in denial about their abilities) whose ego is way larger than their abilities.

        2. doloras

          And there's such a thing as Zenith Applied Philosophy, which is Scientology crossed with Objectivism. I WISH I WERE MAKING THIS UP.

      2. Fare la [redacted]

        Wolverine with hemorrhoids

        Comparing Libertarians to Hugo Jackman on Prep H is rather generous, don't you think?

        1. SorosBot

          But Wolverine is supposed to be an ugly short hairy guy; I can understand why the hired a tall handsome guy for the movies, but it is inaccurate.

  11. wee[redacted]

    Can Governor [redacted] take a cue from from the 1 in 7 stat and see that hosing a significant portion of the Wisconsin economy is not the way out of this recession? Yeah, it might be part of their not so secret plan to plan oust Obamar, but likely that dog won't hunt either.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        And yet, despite it's furious efforts, my p-ness keeps growing. Is there such a thing as a Pyrrhic defeat?

  12. OC_Surf_[redacted]

    1 American in 7 believes UFOs, that Elvis is alive, Nixon was innocent, ice cream is diet food…

    1. Mumbletypeg

      …That procuring diabeetus is a right not a privilege… that passport ownership stinks of multiCULTural Bolshevistic apostasy…
      I think 1 in 7 is a conservative estimate for the bottom-feeding ignorati. While the profit-reaping masterminds holding their puppet strings (who opine that "a lasting economic recovery has taken hold"… to their advantage), on the other hand, number rather fewer.

  13. Weenus299

    Nobody knows anything anymore. They say they do, but they don't. What ones that do know anything are doing something else that they don't want anyone to know about.

      1. Weenus299

        God, that too. Nobody wants to cooperate anymore. Even for the rewards of $6 billion at the end of every season.

  14. EatsBabyDingos

    I am voting for a "Pluto-cracy," ie, every politician must be smarter than Pluto, planet or dog.

    1. undeterredbyreality

      That stinks of meritocracy. We have the known knowns, the unknown knowns and the unknown unknowns. How do it know? Who is qualified to judge these "qualities" you speak of?

  15. Ruhe

    Alas Broderella we hardly knew ye. At least you outlived your Keyboard Kommando avatar and will be mocked by the Poor Man no longer. Rest in peace thou least offensive of the hacks.

  16. prommie

    "No-fly-zone" is such a fascinating piece of newspeak. What it means is "establish air superiority," which in modern warfare almost equates to "conquer." Just without the raping.

    But "no-fly-zone" is so much more peaceful, it brings to mind those signs that say "No Running In Pool Area."

      1. wee[redacted]

        And speaking of pregnant moments, we should remember that to create a No-Fly-Zone first requires an act of war. Or at least that is generally how blowing-up all of a country's air defense capability is usually perceived.

        edit: see V572625694, below for an earlier post on this. sorries

    1. Weenus299

      No running zone enforceable by bb-gun.

      All a No Fly zone means is a lack of diptheria and other insecto-transmittable diseases.

    2. mumbly_[redacted]

      To be honest, though, "without the raping" would still end up being a significant improvement from our most recent engagements in the Musliney part of the world.

    1. harry_palmer

      Terrorism pure and simple – as in a socialist government taking away the right of a citizen to exercise his 2nd Amendment remedies. ILike the teabaggers, i's not racism – he just wants to restore the Constitution to how the Founders wrote it.

    2. Fare la [redacted]

      Naturally half the commenters are spewing that 14/88 bullshit and attacking the Southern Poverty Law Center. Precious.

  17. Fare la [redacted]

    My father thought I was crazy when I said I'd never vote a businessman into office…

    1. jus_wonderin

      I do wonder how we can/will pay for this???? Does anyone have GWBs number, I want to ask him his advice.

    1. jus_wonderin

      I agree. I don't think Iraq was ready for a relationship. When we were together, it took forever to get to first base and damn she was high maintenance.

  18. jus_wonderin

    It is: "I am such a wussy I won't try to make a comment on this. I will just passively aggressively click this Caeser thingy."

  19. horsedreamer_1

    We're worse off because Boehner has been stymied in his effort to personally open one million new "jarbs".

  20. jus_wonderin

    Oh, he atypical of the typical IT guy. He is nice, helpful and doesn't try to make you feel like a dumbass. And, I like to unplug something from the battery backup so he has to get under my desk. grin.

  21. MinAgain

    "Only 1 American in 7 has faith a lasting economic recovery has taken hold and a plurality say they are personally worse off than they were two years ago.”

    And Tennessee Republicans are busy trying to ban Sharia law and create a state currency and allow people to carry guns any damn place they please, rather than focus on the economy and jobs. Why do workers vote for these clowns, again?

  22. ttommyunger

    Well, I just learned who the Koch Brothers et. al. use as their role model: the richest motherfucker in the World, at $74 Billion, with a "B", is a Mexican. Compare that personal fortune against the average Messican and you've got something worth shooting for. All in good time, Kochsuckers, all in good time…

  23. Guppy06

    "NATO" this, "NATO" that… it's their back yard, why can't this be an "EU" "police action" for once?

    1. HistoriCat

      If the Europeans were to go on the offensive without the US John Bolton would wet his pants and throw himself on the floor, kicking and screaming.

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