ARISTOTLE IS LAUGHING  11:18 am March 9, 2011

Utah To Pass ‘Basil Marceaux’s Law’

by Jack Stuef

Never mind that textbooks already teach that this country is a republic:

A bill that would ensure Utah students learn the U.S. is a compound constitutional republic — not a democracy — has passed both Houses of the Legislature and is now headed to the governor for his signature. [...]

The bill passed after weeks of debate over the differences between democracies and republics and whether socialism is a form of government or a philosophy. [...]

Senate floor sponsor Sen. Mark Madsen, R-Eagle Mountain, said in some states children are being indoctrinated in socialism via some curriculum.

Good to see Utah putting a lot of effort into the important things. Will Basil Marceaux and Chuck Norris be at the bill signing? Or will they be enslaved at a traffic stop on the way there? [Salt Lake Tribune]

 

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{ 71 comments }

Troubledog March 9, 2011 at 11:22 am

Guess making schoolkids recite "…and to the Republic, for which it stands…" while staring at the flag wasn't clear enough?

Troubledog March 9, 2011 at 11:26 am

And also, if they want something to be in textbooks, they better send a delegation to make sure it's okay with the Texas State Board of Education.

nounverb911 March 9, 2011 at 11:28 am

"Marceaux’s Law"
Today we are all mimes.

weejee March 9, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Sounds like Utah Zion is full of land mimes alright, and to paraphrase Chris Hitchens they are easier to lay than remove.

Dr_Zoidberg March 9, 2011 at 11:29 am

Seriously….what's happening to this country? I don't even recognize it any more…

Weenus299 March 9, 2011 at 11:50 am

Do you ever get the feeling your riding in a speeding car and a drunken Mel Gibson is the driver?

At least if it were Charlie Sheen, we could all have a laugh before we all die horrible deaths.

ManchuCandidate March 9, 2011 at 11:31 am

It might be the time to pass a law to kick out states deemed too stupid to be in the Union.

BaldarTFlagass March 9, 2011 at 11:45 am

The map would look like one of those 19th century maps of Africa, with only the coasts shown and "Terra Incognita" in the interior.

horsedreamer_1 March 9, 2011 at 3:39 pm

This is actually Barack Obama's 13 Point Plan to Destroy America.

Gopherit March 9, 2011 at 11:48 am

You'd be lucky to get a simple majority.

user-of-owls March 9, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Oh, you'd get a "simple" majority for sure.

harry_palmer March 9, 2011 at 11:33 am

Fine, mak it a pure democracy – all the other shit was to appease the slaveowners and it's where the teabaggers get all their power.

moralturpentine March 9, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Living in California I can assure you more democracy is not always a good thing.

horsedreamer_1 March 9, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Tupac's Max-Max-styled Nihiloscape from the "California Love" video was prescient.

GuyClinch March 9, 2011 at 11:34 am

The problem isn't children being indoctrinated with socialism, it's them being indoctrinated with balls-out teabagger stupidity.

SorosBot March 9, 2011 at 11:37 am

You often get libertarians, in their course of talking down at everyone else in their smug ignorant manner, explaining to people "we're a republic, not a democracy" as if they're being profound, and not just mouthing an empty truism over a semantic difference.

Troubledog March 9, 2011 at 11:58 am

sometard: This nation is being hijacked by socialists intent on redistributing wealth.

me: Good thing the founders created a democratic system to prevent these sorts of things from happening.

sometard (smugly preparing for the kill): This nation is not a democracy, it's a republic.

me: You raise a distinction without a difference. The fact is that the nation called United States of America is a Republic, and its form of government is a representative democracy, in which people's local votes are represented by a group of electors who then vote for the President. The founding fathers understood that the common man was neither educated or wise enough to make such important decisions, and they specifically installed features including the Electoral College firewall and the six year terms of Senators to prevent the passions of the people misled and inflamed by jingoists and hatemongers from having any lasting effect.

sometard: fuck you, you nigger loving faggot

SorosBot March 9, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Yep; I've gotten pretty much just that a couple times while banging my head against the wall against the libertarians and wingnuts who compromise most of the commenters at Juli's new place.

emmelemm March 9, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Well, he showed you!

CapnFatback March 9, 2011 at 7:32 pm

sometard: fuck you, you nigger loving faggot

When did you get into an argument with Bristol Palin?

MsQuasimodo March 13, 2011 at 1:16 pm

The problem is, there was no check or balance to prevent uneducated, stupid, unwise "common men" from running for and getting elected to office. (And I think WI voters got a huge wake up call as to the immediate effect of this.)

snoopyfan2010 March 9, 2011 at 1:24 pm

What is the point of saying that anyway? Are they trying to say we shouldn't be able to vote?

horsedreamer_1 March 9, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Welcome to the Repeal the 17th Amendment Club.

undeterredbyreality March 9, 2011 at 11:37 am

"What we have here…is…FAILURE to commun'cate."

hagajim March 9, 2011 at 11:40 am

What? We teach kids in this country?

Jason_inthe_Peg March 9, 2011 at 5:50 pm

They should learn to teach themselves rather then rely on others to do the teaching for them.

Gleem_McShineys March 9, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Shopping List (Exhibit ZZ-5314bajillion) says "NO"

Weenus299 March 9, 2011 at 11:42 am

So they wouldn't go for the wording "Seriously Corrupted Democracy?" What happens in a couple of decades when it's a "Compound, Multilateral-Gynecological-Inferior Logistical-Dual-Quad-Positronic Constitutional-Dictatorship?"

Callyson March 9, 2011 at 11:43 am

Not a democracy? OK, then I guess Reagan's quote on that point will have to be paraphrased:
"A compound constitutional republic is worth dying for, because it's the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man."
Yeah…that's catchy…

Weenus299 March 9, 2011 at 11:52 am

Indeed. This Compound Constitutional Republic by the people, of the people and for the people shall not perish until next week.

BaldarTFlagass March 9, 2011 at 11:43 am

What? No "I thought we were an autonomous collective" yet? Y'all are slipping.

jqheywood March 9, 2011 at 11:57 am

You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. …

Troubledog March 9, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

OzoneTom March 9, 2011 at 11:44 am

I thought that the United States is a constitutionally limited representative democratic republic.

MinAgain March 9, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Show-off.

edgydrifter March 9, 2011 at 11:45 am

If this means no more Utah traffic stop slavery, I know where I'll be riding next summer. If we still have fuel then. Or states.

Gopherit March 9, 2011 at 11:50 am

If we did what the right wing really wants and allowed bible study in school, wouldn't teaching the gospels be the same as teaching socialism? Goddamn it. time to revise the King James version again.

SorosBot March 9, 2011 at 12:34 pm

They're already doing that: (warning, this is a link to Conservapedia, NSFS (not safe for sanity): http://www.conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_P

andrewdrinker March 9, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Oh good! So they're going back to the original Aramaic, Hebrew and Greek and translating from there?

Oh, they're not?

Pussies.

ttommyunger March 9, 2011 at 11:51 am

Just sitting on my nuts here wondering where will all this take us and when and how will it end?

BaldarTFlagass March 9, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Like in Dr Strangelove and Reservoir Dogs, everybody dies in the end

ttommyunger March 9, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Not looking too bad now, either.

KenLayIsAlive March 9, 2011 at 3:36 pm

I'm guessing "to a civil war" and "badly".

ttommyunger March 9, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Well, considering I reside in the belly of the beast (Gawgia) I guess I'll be one of the early casualties.

PublicLuxury March 9, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Why are you sitting on your nuts? Shouldn't your nuts be in a dish?

ttommyunger March 9, 2011 at 6:13 pm

If you prefer.

OurHoboSenator March 9, 2011 at 11:56 am

Thank you, Utah. You make Ohio look sane.

andrewdrinker March 9, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Good lord, you're right. Not even George W. Kasich can top that one.

Guppy06 March 9, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Does the law also require teaching that libertarian political diamond thing, too?

MinAgain March 9, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Compound constitutional republic? Does that mean we should be earning interest on the Bill of Rights?

chickensmack March 9, 2011 at 3:13 pm

To hear Teabaggers, you'd think they're entitled to fucking royalties on it.

Monsieur_Grumpe March 9, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Well now that they have that all straightened out they can get on to other important stuff like mandatory firearms for all students K-12 and declaring that God is not a women.

LionelHutzEsq March 9, 2011 at 12:37 pm

But how will Utah work in the imperial reign of Dick Cheney?

user-of-owls March 9, 2011 at 12:40 pm

You can't fool us, Utah. This is nothing more than a stimulus bill for unemployed Political Philosophy PhDs.

cheaphits March 9, 2011 at 12:49 pm

The competition for the most dumbass state grows even more intense. WS and AZ's early lead may be threatened. Crowd favorites like MS, TX, LA, AL, OK , NV, SC, IN, SD and GA are pushing hard as UT begins a surge.

It's still a close race with more strong entries on the way.

GregComlish March 9, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Yeah! FUCK Democracy and FUCK those who would defend it

gullywompr March 9, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Word roots have consequences.

snoopyfan2010 March 9, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Christ! Help us!

Moonbat March 9, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Christ: Man, I told you what to do already. Be cool unto each other. Take care of the poor. Don't be such jerks.

Y'all can't handle that, I can't help you. Sorry.

Moonbat March 9, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Canada, definitely.

DaRooster March 9, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Why do the "Rights" always think we should invade places and teach them about Democracy?

MsQuasimodo March 13, 2011 at 1:21 pm

But if the "people" rise up and overthrow their dictator in favor of a democracy, it's … suspect, & prolly communist, because the neocons didn't invade with billion dollar military contracts, and the US corporate interests might get thrown out with the old dictator.

KenLayIsAlive March 9, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Take the govt out of education. Put the govt into education. Which is it, tea fuckers?

horsedreamer_1 March 9, 2011 at 3:45 pm

I accept no proclamations of the "State of Utah".

Deseret will rise, again!

Jukesgrrl March 9, 2011 at 4:02 pm

According to FOX News, my party — that would be the DemocRAT Party — is not democratic either, but rather Socialist. Or, let's make that Socialist LABOR, since labor is all the rage these days (yea Wisconsin!), AKA Marxist, AKA Communist … and as we all know, those terms are also interchangeable with Nazi and Fascist. We use language so creatively in the U.S. of Twitter, even the Utah legislature can't refudiate our word salad. Not to mention, Utah expects school students to be able to SPELL "constitutional-republic"?? Duh.

andrewdrinker March 9, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it. It's a "republic" (read: Republican) and not a "democracy" (read: Democrat). Aren't you clever.

__kth__ March 9, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Silver lining: this Mark Madsen is *not* the ball of zaniness that was part of the Lakers supporting cast in the Shaq-Kobe days. Because if that guy had become a teabag flagbearer, I would definitely have had a sad.

fishskicanoe March 9, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Canada won't let me in. I'm too old and poor.

natoslug March 9, 2011 at 10:10 pm

It's high time we embargo Utah. No more internet porn until they back down on this stupid shit. Considering their consumption rate, I give them 3 days.

aqua_buddha March 9, 2011 at 11:56 pm

Really puts the final over in Flyover.

J Rbt. Oppenheiner March 10, 2011 at 8:09 am

The goldfinch flag is next

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