Hello, it is Mardi Gras! For your editor and “his people,” Mardi Gras was a popular day to rent your apartment to some vulgar Texans for the weekend, for like $10,000, and then you and your people would leave town. Maybe go to Biloxi or wherever! Somewhere quiet, where everybody could get over their six or eight weeks of drunkeness leading up to Mardi Gras itself, which is strictly for out-of-town amateurs or people too poor to leave town even when it’s flooded.
Also, for the Ladies: It’s International Women’s Day, to be followed by International Ladies’ Night. You won’t want to miss our Happy Hour specials. And later, once you’re liquored up a bit, we’re going to charge $15 at the door for a bunch of schlubs in Members Only jackets to come in and order glasses of beer, like Schlitz or something, if that still exists? It’s going to be a good time, or as they say in New Orleans (with a really weird accent, and only once a year), Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez.
Inspired by The Awl’s musical video homage to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, here are two videos about a) Mardi Gras and II) International Women’s Day. Remember, the “glass ceiling” is really just the anus.
And, also:
Happy two things!
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Enjoy your Mardi Gras! Just remember, look both ways before throwing up in the streets.
Nancy talked me into going to New Orleans for this once. They had one of those photo booths with the curtain on Bourbon St. and she wanted pictures of us together. I slid in and discovered that it had been used as a urinal. I guess it could have been worse, eh?
Could have been much worse. The women form the Colorado Eagle Forum might have been sitting there talking about sodomy and fornication.
Now I feel like a total creeper. Sorry ladies.
This will make you feel better, Jaded: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_NeSYa0SiaNI/S5TaLcCgA3I...
And later, once you’re liquored up a bit, we’re going to charge $15 at the door for a bunch of schlubs in Members Only jackets…
So exactly like NYC back in the 80s, when the B&T crowd hit the clubs on the weekend?
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Just cause I'm from Jersey, you get to look down your nose at me, huh? Hey, my Members Only jacket was leather (before I switched to the Crocket and Tubbs look, the soft pastel suit with a tee-shirt and the sleeves on the jacket rolled up).
Tony!
Heck, I live in Ohio now. Whatever was happening in NYC 10 years ago is about to get here.
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Don''t flatter yourself. More like 30 years, judging by the reference to Members Only jackets, which peaked in the waning days of disco, around 1978.
They were still really popular in the San Diegos of America until the mid-1980s, when they were all suddenly replaced by goatees.
Today captures the essence of US America. On one hand, trying to inspire the noble dreams of humanity/women in general and on the other hand chucking beads at the very same women and drunkenly screaming "Show us yer TITS!"
Feminism, Murikan style.
Feminism, Murikan style. = inspiring the noble dreams of women to aspire to show their tits to strangers for beads
From the brilliant minds behind Steak and BJ Day.
Really, "Father's Day" is so much shorter and easier to easier to say.
Joe Francis, is that you?
Whats wrong with tits? Why are you forcing women to wear these bra-burkhas and hide their beautiful boobies as if they are something to be ashamed of, huh? Who put dem dere? Who put de boobies dere, huh? Nobody knows, nobody knows who put dem dere.
Boobies bounce up, boobies bounce down.
God did it.
Thank God
And remember that today's Mardi Gras means tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, so if you see people with dirt on their foreheads don't tell them as if you were doing them a favor, they actually intentionally let a pedophile rub it on them.
Made my annual call to my sister remindering her of this. She cleaned off a few foreheads when we were in college, just being a nice Presbyterian girl…
Speaking of Lent, what're all you so-inclined Wonketteers giving up for lent this year? I'm no longer a practicing Catholic, but my wife and kids (who are) have all sort of recklessly double-dog-dared each other into "giving up meat*" for Lent, and I'm going along with it. (Kind of have to, since I do 95% of the cooking in our family. Also, I hope to lose a few pounds, too.)
(*fish, eggs don't count, 'Cheater Sundays' allowed.)
Sundays aren't cheatin', actually – they're not part of the forty days.
I try to not give up various foodz because I don't consume enough of some kinds to matter and I have a good medical reason to eat meat. Usually I try to take extra stuff on (almsgiving, service, that sort of thing). I might try "No added sugar" (except Sundays and High Holy Days) once the apple cake in my fridge is gone or "No take-out", but my main goal is to eat down what I have in my fridge/freezer/cabinets.
A couple of years ago I gave up reading/participating in snark sites.
I'll be stuck in DC for Mardi Gras, throwing anal beads out in front of RNC headquarters.
Are you trying to cause an auto accident? Or get the RNC members to jump out the window with glee?
Yes!(the latter)
Let's just call it "National Boobie Day" and make it a paid holiday for those slobs fortunate enought to have jobs that give you paid holidays!
I just had occasion to call Louisiana Rep. Cedric Richmond's office in New Orleans and–yep–his office is closed for the day.
He's a Dem, so he is probably down on Bourbon Street eyeballing all the tourist titties. Unlike his Republican counterparts who all scooted over to PrideFest in FL…
What's a plaid holiday?
Oh. Yikes, and I ain't even opened a bottle yet today.
Sounds like Ken's Mardi Gras is less Laissez les bons temps rouler and more À la recherche du temps perdu.
Basically.
I am about as far from Mardi Gras today as I can be while still being on Earth. Not that I would want to be in New Orleans today, but the couple of weeks beforehand would've been good.
Actually, I'd kind of like to do Mardi Gras one more time. It's been long enough (I think) and I'd like to see NO again. But … geeze, the mobs. Maybe Jazz Fest is better. Lots of people, but lots of music too. And food.
There's just no way to respond without saying some dumb sexist guy thing here.
So, I'll just give myself a preemptive uppercut now. *BIFF*
Also: Boobs!
Still, that Indian chick has a nice ass.
In the first video the guy in the long white shirt at about 1:40 looks like the South Asian version of Snidely Whiplash.
A pretty girl in jeans with a cute butt walked down a busy street somewhere in India, in the daytime, and thirty guys discreetly checked her out.
The viewer is left to deduce this somehow interferes with her freedom to pursue a career in the tampon commercial industry, as evidenced by her stunning work in the beginning of the tape. Freedom. Ah, sweet freedom.
Happy International Women's Day. I love you all. Usually, one at a time.
So this commemorates when Jesus fasted for forty days right before he got executed and resurrected as a giant bunny? Wow, that poor bastard had no luck at all.
I can't wait for Happy Zombie Jeebus Day!
I thought the "glass ceiling" was the cervix? You don't want to bump your head on that one, I tells ya.
And Boobies, FTW!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3d2o6caTMA
The second vid ain't Nawlins cause the dancing chicken didn't show its tits.
This vulgar Texan can't afford to go to Mardi Gras (actually, in my 56 years I've never even been to Louisiana) but will try to celebrate at home. Since the Ramos Gin Fizz is too much hassle to make repeatedly I'll just drink straight gin. And then go shake my male boobs in front of my mirror.
I love me some N'awlins, but you couldn't get me within 100 miles of it on Mardi Pardi. Crowds of drunks annoy me to no end. I prefer to drink alone.
I don't really cotton to large persons screaming "WHOOOOOOO!" in both my ears on such libatious occasions myself. Cheers!
Is the Sugar Bowl still held in New Orleans? I will not ever recover the hearing/brain cells I lost from those pig-eyed white blobs in bermuda shorts running around screaming "ROLL TIDE ROLL" or whatever they say. (I am talking about the actual frat students from Alabama, too, and not the even more disgusting parents/alums.)
It's a huge reason I quit sportswriting. That and the shitty pay, and no time off.
I agree. However living in NOLA has forced my to master the fine art of 'drinking alone' even when other people are around.
I came up to my office on an Arizona university campus today to discover a vast amount of chalk graffiti on the sidewalk devoted to International Women's Day. While I approve of the sentiment, I think the time would have been better spent laying these words of wisdom around the State Capitol complex using red spray paint.
In the northeast, we call Mardi Gras "Saint Patricks Day." More puke, less boobs, other wise, very similar.
Here in Andrewdrinkerland, I call Mardi Gras, St Patrick's Day, and Cinco de Mayo "Amateur Hour".
Don't forget New Year's!
Well, at least after this combination, every woman should have been thoroughly screened for breast cancer (one way or another)…
If not, TSA will get 'em before the flight home…
WTF? Where are my Xtian boobies???
Some whiny crap about teh darks and some commie chicken dance?
Ken Layne, if it's any consolation to your New Orleans-pining heart, every time I hear your name said out loud I'm pleasantly reminded of a beignet I once had at Morning Call back before they moved to Metairie.
Happy "Grass Tuesday", you soft, sweet, little Big Easy mouth pillow, you!
Um, thanks? Thanks!
TRUE WARNING: The beignets at Disneyland's "New Orleans Square" are not quite the same as the French Market version, although they were semi-edible.
If anyone needs me, I'll be over Stuttgart-way celebrating Fasnet like it's 1799.
*sigh… in my wishful-thinkin' mind…
Mardi Gras always reminds me when my Uncle purchased a sparkling new 1965 Grand Prix. White, with black vinyl top and buckets seats. It was kickin'.
I distinctly remember the lot of them, parents and aunt and uncle snickering and correcting me on the pronounciation of Prix.
But then, this is how my mind works…….
Wait. You can still get Members Only jackets?
Oh boy. boobies. yay.
OK one for Mr. Catt (NSFW)
http://funandmusic.biz/funny-animation-nice-butt….
Is there anything I can say in response to the first video that won't get me banned?
No, no there isn't.
As a friend of mine said…"Today is Fat Tuesday and International Women's Day. I am combining the two and naming it International Fat Women's Tuesday! Beignets for EVERYONE!!!"
Bet 'dem crawdads taste real good this winter, with all the seasoning that went into the water last summer.
"Ladies – show my your boobies and I'll pop some chocolate velvet concrete wood"…Clarence
Slow snark day, right Ken?
And if you're shy about showing your own breasteses, just draw nipples on your pancakes with strawberry jam at the local Shrove Tuesday pancake supper.
I thought Mardi Gras plus International Women's Day = lots of hawt CFNM PR0NZ!
That first Public Service Announcement had a very important point to make, and it made it very, very, slowly. I propose that, as an act of solidarity, American makers of PSAs join together to send a boatload of jump-cuts to India. Please, won't you help?
Also, the first 30 seconds gave me an irresistible urge to go buy some tampons.
Which video was which again?
I call bullshit. That's crappy tie and cologne day……unless it's down south where girls might have an inappropriately close relationship with daddy.
I was thinking on behalf of the mom! What do you think I am, a Michigan youtube purveyor? sick sick sick!
Look at you with your 100 pee.
Ken Layne to the V.I.P. lounge, people!
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