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As everyone knows, high-profile old people Alan Simpson and Erskine Bowles have the ear of America. Their debt commission came up with a brilliant winning solution that is being implemented now, and everyone pays attention to them and their opinions on current twenty-first century society. For example, what is the problem with grandchildren and their Enema Man and their Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog? The least grandchildren could do is send Alan Simpson a thank-you note for his generation of politicians ruining the country forever.

The reason grandchildren keep their pants so low, of course, is so it’s easier for the federal government to fuck them.

“The sinful nature of the discourse is ‘cutting’ Social Security,” [Simpson] said. “We’re not cutting Social Security – we’re trying to make the stuff solvent for 75 years! And young people say, ‘Well, I know there won’t be anything there for me; I’m not worried about it.’ Well, I tell ya, when you waddle up to the window at 65 and you put 6.2 percent of all your jack in that thing, you’re gonna want something back!”


Wait a second, Alan, you’re saying Social Security is going to completely run out of money and offer no services but the government is still going to fund Social Security Administration offices just to be cruel? Actually, yeah, probably, they would do that.

Grandchildren of America, Alan Simpson is trying to help you keep your jacks. You don’t want to lose your jacks! Team up with him and pretend you have political power and can take on current politicians / whiny Baby Boomers. Hustle n’ waddle. [Po’o]

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