Newt Gingrich Super Excited About 5,000 People Laughing At His Twitter

 
 Unwanted bobblehead Newt Gingrich is as toxic to Republican primary voters as he was to his many dead ex-wives he divorced on their deathbeds in the hospital, so Newt must always try to find some "new metric" to show his "popularity" despite having no popularity. Twitter is perfect for this kind of thing!

Used mostly by creepy old white Republican men to text each other incomprehensibly, Twitter allows the used-up old GOP narcissist a way to feel "watched" again, by counting the number of "followers" on the Twitter account. No matter that 5,000 people glancing at a Twitter feed would hardly be what it takes to kick Newt up from last place in Iowa -- even if theyweren't  all ex-wives of Newt who have yet to die of the cancer. The important thing is that Newt is feeling happy, perhaps as happy as when one of his latest wives got him an Easter candy on Easter.

But there is another theory regarding Newt's inconsequential Twitter audience:  It's just some Wonkette readers laughing at him, because he's a pathetic toad neck glued inside a hair helmet.

Can you imagine anything more terrifying than a marriage proposal from Professional Widower Newt Gingrich? [ Twitter / Twitter ]