- Tacky hairpiece Donald Trump has a higher teevee/approval rating than Mittens, Tim Pawlenty and John Boehner, according to a new WSJ/NBC poll. Nine percent of those polled had a “very positive” opinion of The Donald, while seventeen percent were “somewhat positive” about having this reality teevee joke run for president, for a combined total of twenty-six percent. If Donald Trump and Sarah Palin run for the Republican nomination, MTV gets to televise the debates — moderated by Charlie Sheen — as specified in the U.S. Constitution. Also: Why does America hate itself? [NBC]
- Hamid Karzai did not accept David Petraeus’ apology after a NATO air strike killed nine children. Time to find a new puppet president! [CNN]
- TODAY’S BUTT PADDLE NEWS: In Texas, “student athletes can get paddled for disrespecting their teachers or coaches.” [McClatchy]
{ 138 comments }
What's wrong with making the disrespectful athlete run laps until he/she throws up and convulses?
I agree. Repeated face-slapping teaches fierce loyalty and obedience.
or dies? Which often happens when it's 110 degrees out and obese kids who have spent all summer on the couch playing Wii and eating Doritos are in full football padding.
Quit blood libelling Korey Stringer.
Not kinky enough.
Because the budget cuts forced them to fire the janitor and you really don't expect the God-fearing School Board members to clean that crap up, do you?
Twenty-six percent thought they were being asked who would be most likely to pay for votes.
Is McClatchy sure that Texas paddling thing isn't just the script to the porn they were fapping to last night?
Who ARE these fabled 26% and why the fuck are they running the country?
The "Tea Party Movement"; i.e. Real 'Merikans.
Ah yes, the famous 26% who believe in the literal story of Adam and Eve and continued to give GWB a postive approval rating.
They are also known as the residents of Arizona, South Carolina, Texas, and Alabama.
When did Tejas take their edumakshunal larning from old coot Jasper (from the Simpsons)?
"Looking at my beard… that's a paddling. Paddling the school canoe… you better believe that's a paddling."
Trump / Boehner in 2012. Vote orange.
As bad as Trump is, he probably wouldn't take Boehner as a running mate.
What the fuck, Texas? Seriously, they still allow corporal punishment in their schools; this is fucking sickening. So Texas is the state with a bunch of teachers who belong in jail, for child abuse. How the fuck is this allowed to go on? Why aren't there mass lawsuits by the parents of the abused kids?
Because first they Killed all the Lawyers! (h/t Bill S.)
I was raised in Texas schools and was given "licks" several times. But believe me, the corporal punishment was far from the greatest harm done to me in Texas schools. I still laugh at what passed for education in the 11th grade Civics class. And 8th grade Biology was taught by a rabid creationist who–I swear–screamed at me, "You're a communist!" when I tried to explain evolution.
Good times. But at least I learned one valuable lesson: Education is ultimately a self-op process.
Well, to be fair to your teacher, you ARE a dirty, filthy Commie.
I got "licks" in high school, but I gave as good as I got. At least, that' what she said.
Not to go against the tide here, but some of these kids could use a little paddling–yeah, the parents should be the ones doing it, but they're too busy trying to be their kids' best friends, which is how you end up with kids like the Palin brats. If you get too worked up about this, think how useful an ass-whipping would have been to Meg Whitman or Rudy Giuliani's kids.
But can we be sure that Texas teachers will be paddling the asshole kids who need it most, instead of the pale artsy boys who were already given one warning about wearing eyeliner to school?
The pale artsy boys wearing eyeliner aren't usually athletes in my experience.
I believe school districts that allow corporal punishment also allow parents to opt out of having their kids paddled. Therefore the kids who might need it are unlikely to get it while the kids of meth addicts who can't be bothered to read the forms are another story.
Not sure of each school district's policy. I was just trying to make a broad point that some of these kids are rat bastards and needed their hides tanned years ago.
I will admit, the only time the "paddling" actually made my butt bleed, I had it coming. (It was my junior high band director; he came into the band hall and caught me dancing on the piano to amuse the class. He was a small fellow and a teacher I remember fondly, but each of 3 punitive swats literally lifted me off the floor. I have never since danced atop a piano.) My parents agreed: I had it coming.
Or Martin Sheen's….
If a teacher thought they were going to lay a hand on my children they would be picking up broken teeth with broken fingers.
Jesus's teeth?
Texas, as always, is leading the nation as we go down the road as a failing civilization. USA, USA!
Donald Trump? Really? The party that has given us Nixon, Reagan and Bushes think The Donald is their best choice? At least they’re consistent.
I can think of only three things good in Texas: beef, western wear, and my wife's cousin, who is very nice (but she is from Mexico and lives in Austin, so not really a Texan).
"The party that has given us Nixon, Reagan and Bushes think The Donald is their best choice?"
I can't believe I'm doing this but I would like to defend the Republicans. Looking at the people who are either running or appear to be gearing up to run, I think he may actually be their best choice.
If US America wants to go bankrupt, Trump's the man.
Seriously, only the truly stupid would trust a CASINO mogul who guided his casinos into bankruptcy several times. It takes a lot of non-effort and fat fingered vulgarianism to lose money on a casino.
I have something that can beat that.
Here in North Carolina we have county-run hard liquor stores that lose money. You want people who can send the country down the financial crapper – I know where to find them.
Do they sell liquor for less than cost or is someone furnishing a lovely vacation home in the Caribbean?
The number of stores making losses rose in 2010 due to mandatory reforms. The (and I quote) "reforms include requiring all board members to receive budgeting and ethics training through a North Carolina community college".
Says it all, really.
I believe that's short-fingered, Manchu. No amount of money can hide it.
(ht in any event for keeping the meme alive)
I, for one, welcome our new whatever-the-fuck-that-is-on-his-head overlord.
That is a fried squirrel and he will be most fortunate if Hucks doesn't try to eat it. It's not easy being a candidate for pres.
Trump and Palin together? You couldn't hold two egos that large even in McCormick Place.
There must be an S&M kid somewhere in Texas who is really, reallly excited right now.
Forget the kid…what about a S&M teacher or principal? I bet there are lots more.
Yeah, but how do they talk the kid into paddling their ass?
I know I am. (Only about the over-18 seniors, of course.)
"Ruprecht, do you want the genital cuff?"
student athletes can get paddled for disrespecting their teachers or coaches.
Does this rule apply to cheerleaders too? I'm just asking out of curiosity, not because I'm thinking of starting a pr0n film franchise concerning the subject or anything.
The real money will be made when this disrespect is reversed and student athletes start paddling their teachers/coaches. Seeing that this is Texas, this is probably the end game.
I'd be willing to paddle errant members of the girl's varsity basketball team.
Volleyball is the way to go. Striclty those over the age of consent, though.
Seriously, has anyone seen what high school volleyball teams wear these days? I used to worry my daugther would want to be a cheerleader because of the oufits and exploitation – now I'm afraid she'll turn out to have a wicked jump serve (and don't evn get me started on gymnastics or figure skating).
It's serendipitous that was the post that finally bumped me over 69p after I'd been languishing there for weeks!
Karzai starting to seem like he thinks he's the one running things in our Afghan colony.
Hey, Hamid – remember Noriega and Hussien? They thought that they were in charge of their countries, too.
fists up !!
I guess my response would be more like if you don't want civilian casualties from us then step up and get your own people to give two shits about serving in the army. I'd actually love it if Petreus responded by dropping his Counter-insurgency shit, pulled all the troops off the front lines like we did in Iraq then watch as the facade that is Afghanistan fell back into its classic tribal fuckfest.
Then again, maybe I'm just a bit bitter since I just read "The Only Thing Worth Dying For" and had confirmed what a fucking farce the whole Afghan adventure, and particularly our choice of Karzai as leader of the new Afghanistan, really was from the start.
Tacky hairpiece Donald Trump has a higher teevee/approval rating than Mittens, Tim Pawlenty and John Boehner, according to a new WSJ/NBC poll.
This actually makes sense, considering the Donald combines the most likeable qualities of all three men: the absurdly comical coiffure of Mittens, the fascinatingly orange skin of Boehner, and the hilarious, Mr. Bean-like lack of self-awareness of the Pawlenty.
He's got the marital history of Gingrich, also.
How come Pawlenty is the only one who gets a definite article ("the") before his name?
Trump / Seacrest in 2012!
We're already used to Seacrest telling us when to vote. Now he can also tell us how.
Clay Aikens for Sec Def!
Sanjaya for Fed Board Chair!
William Hung for Sec of "She Bang"!
"We're already used to Seacrest telling us when to vote. Now he can also tell us how. "
ROTFL + FTW
Where in the counterinsurgency manual that Petraeus compiled is the protocol on children-death-by-missile-attack?
The Texas Board of Education is evaluating that as a disciplinary measure.
Naughty boys need to get the paddle, maybe even tied up too.
Naughty girls, too!
I want to run my fingers through the Donald's hair and then give it to my dog as a toy.
"Don don't freak out or anything but there's a dead opossum on your head.
Such a nice hairpiece, I wish i had two of them. One to poop on, the other to cover it up with.
This is Wonkette. It's ok to say "shit" instead of "poop". Or is this your way to a kinder gentler repartee?
just trying to avoid a paddlin'
I was thinking of scrubbing my kitchen floor with it. It looks like blond Brillo so should work.
Given the S&M theme which seems to be developing in this thread, I would be careful.
If Donald Trump and Sarah Palin run for the Republican nomination, MTV gets to televise the debates — moderated by Charlie Sheen — as specified in the U.S. Constitution.
As long as we're going to get screwed no matter who wins, we might as well get some laughs out of the deal.
~
If MTV gets to run the debate does this mean we get to ask the Donald boxers or briefs?
Nevermind, just threw up a little in my mouth.
Time for the Donald to start measuring for drapes, which will be thin and tacky and not match the carpet.
He'll probably use the occasion as a excuse to force another season of The Apprentice on us.
I once sat near the entrance of the Trump Plaza and watched as people reacted in shock to the horrible, clashing, fake glitz. Some gave up drinking right on the spot.
So, Texas is going to mitigate their state budget deficit by selling videos of this punishment?
Remember how in the movie Fantastic Voyage the bad guy joined the crew hoping to sabotage the mission? The Republican Party is like that guy. Send in the antibodies!
So… essentially Texas is clearing any remaining obstacles to simply beating God's love into young heathens. Sounds about right.
Nothing teaches that killing is wrong like a State-sponsored execution, and nothing shows God's love like a good beating!
Exactly! Just ask the 50 Taliban fighters still in Afghanistan, they'll tell you…
Spare the rod, interrupt the orgasm.
Texas schools are run by a bunch of sissies. They should use the Jesuit method of discipline toward boys–those guys knew what to do with a young butt and it didn't involve a paddle.
98% favor paddling Trump.
Well, we either paddle kids or kill them. That's the way to control terrorism!
What a planet.
Wonketters: Don't worry about those childrens in Olney, Wink and Ennis. Wink is the Panhandle and Olney is near Wichita Falls and they all believe that its terrible to have a president with the name of Barack Obama and that Rick Perry is the best governor, ever. Ennis, well it's in between Hurst and Euless near Fort Worth and is a Baptist gaping asshole in this state.
Finally, did you know that this Intense Debate software lets downfisters follow you and sends you a message when they follow us? I'm followed by "StenchofLibuancy."
To you Mr. Stenchof Libuancy (what the fuck is a "libuancy"), have a happy day from your friend, pal, fist bump friend in liberal Austin, Texas.
I love how the 'R's are pushing out their detritus to run in 2012. You know why? Because no one wants to step in the motherfu%^%g ring with Muhammad Ali. All they got is a train load of chumps who know they are getting led to the Champ to get their ass beat. Barry beats all these mofos in his sleep.
So, after Romney loses to Obama, he'll be doing erectile dysfunction script endorsements?
These Trump poll shenanigans are the electoral equivalent of cutting. It's a cry for help.
If there is one state that knows how to responsibly utilize the more severe and extreme forms of punishment in any given situation, it's Texas.
Except when it comes to corporate or political misbehavior.
Ok…having a bit of disconnect this morning. Texas…the state that arguably leads the nation in "get the gubberment outta my life (except for the womb)" is ok with government employees striking their kids?
The GOP is clearly on a campaign to prove conclusively that HL Mencken was right about pretty much everything.
Also, is the daily Trump Poll replacing the daily Palin Poll?
Until they realize that he's just doing this for publicity.
If I were an Ennis High School student I would aim to meet the two swat quota in the first week so I could be guaranteed 8 weeks of swat-free cussing, stealing and fire-setting.
That's another thing that gets me; this is a news article, why does McClatchy say students can get punished if they "cuss"? "Cuss" is not a word, people, it's a Southern mispronunciation of curse; it's annoying enough when people say it or type it in inconsequential places online, but it has no place in the news.
So it's probably still better to be a kid in Texas than Afganistan…although Texas is rapidly closing the gap.
At least Petraeus made some kind of apology, you can bet the teachers of TX don't.
Paddling story: When I was in elementary school in Florida we had, what I now recognize, a real sick-o for a principal. He had a "sexy senior citizen" sticker on his car and TWO paddles. The smaller was named "Little John", and the other was named "Big John". Both had holes bored out in them to reduce wind resistance and thus increase striking power.
Who the fuck, outside of an S&M group, names their fucking discipline tools?
Whatever did your principal call his penis?
"Tiny"
"third nipple"
Squadron leaders in Patriot Missle batteries?
Charlie Sheen?
Well Olney is near Wichita Falls and Wink is in West Texas, which are solid red counties and love, love, love Rick Perry. Ennis is just a town full of Baptist assholes who have a real problem with a president with the last name of Obama.
And to the downfister who is monitoring my activities: want to come over for dinner at my home in Austin?
Explain this term to me 'downfister' is it a simile of 'pillowbiter'?
I look forward to seeing 40 floors added to the White House and having all its windows redone in gold. Nothing says class like purple carpet.
"You're bankrupt!"
Petreus knows that apologies, drafts of treaties or invitations must be wrapped around a gold bar or put in a bag of one hundred dollar bills if he wants Hamid Karzai to acknowledge them.
No sense in trying to win on the cheap.
I have been forced to live with all kinds of bullshit from whoever happens to be the President, but I cannot live with a comb over.
And over and around and up and down and back in again and who the hell knows where this man's hair starts or ends anyway?
The Republican Party doesn't need an actual candidate. It just needs someone to recite the same tired talking points over and over again. "Tax cuts, tax cuts, Reagen, tax cuts!"
"9/11!" and "Sanctity of marriage!" are feeling neglected this year.
you spoke too soon- look at today's idiotic column by Douthat: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/07/opinion/07douth...
That pretty much describes every column by Douchat; neckbeard dude is just obsessed with what other people are doing with their genitals.
That's what makes Palin such an attractive (pardon the pun) candidate. Except she only has room for 3 items on her hand and she keeps screwing up the sequence: Is it "tax cuts, tax cuts, Reagan" or "Reagan, tax cuts, tax cuts"?!
Frankly, I think all the Texas student athletes are lucky they aren't going to the chair since we fry pretty much anyone–women, the retarded. At least we're equal opportunity death penalty.
Probably due the fact, that the average Texas student athlete makes more money than the educators.
There is no
cannibalismcivilian casualties in theRoyal NavyUS military. And when I say none, I do mean there is a certain amount…The first debate of the 2012 election cycle will be the "The Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump."
And in Wink, middle and high school students who cuss at other students, set fires or steal could get a double dose of punishment: Three days of in-school suspension and three swats.
With all due respect for the good people of Wink, Texas, arson of an occupied building (a school for example) in many jurisdictions is considered a crime and not a violation of school rules.
And saying fuck is equally bad as arson.
May I take one for the team and go undercover as a student in Texas?
Only if I can go as your bodyguard.
Heh…the state that brought us "No Child Left Behind" now brings us "No child's behind left alone".
The words "butt paddle" and "Donald Trump" in the same post just made a bit of vomit come up in my mouth.
It pisses me off that in the 21st century we have "paddling."
Loosiana's getting rid of blackboards, people. By that notion, can't a first lady hook some schools up with taser guns?
Charlie Sheen should just run for the nomination. He probably polls better than Mittens, Trump, Pawlenty, et al combined.
My pet rock has a higher approval rating than Tim Pawlenty. And Charisma rating. Faux macho man rating. I.Q. rating …
What is it with Tejas. Rick Perry, dogs, paddling student athletes. Tejas must be the most perverted place on earth.
"Tacky hairpiece Donald Trump has a higher teevee/approval rating than Mittens, Tim Pawlenty and John Boehner, according to a new WSJ/NBC poll. Nine percent of those polled had a “very positive” opinion of The Donald, while seventeen percent were “somewhat positive” about having this reality teevee joke run for president, for a combined total of twenty-six percent."
WE ARE SO FUCKED!
Regarding the paddling of student athletes – does this include football players or just those losers in other sports? High school football players in Texas can get away with pretty much anything as long they're winning.
Staring at my sandals, that's a paddlin.' Looking out the window, that's a paddlin'. Paddling the school canoe…..you better believe that's a paddlin'.
Corporate Amerika has to be wondering what the fuck happened. After years of struggling under the weight of the oppressive restrictions of campaign finance laws they are freed by the SCOTUS to buy whoever they want only to find that the best they can buy is The Donald?!
At least, a GOP debate moderated by Sheen wouldn't have the candidates distracted by Bree Olson. Wrong parts.
boehner vs. trump: orange off.
That would be a great debate! Charlie, Sarah Mama Grizzly Bear Lipstick on a Pitbull Palin and The Donald. that could be ACBS's new hit-com!
Isn't being tall the best? (I'm also 5' 10".) I finally owned my height when I turned 30. I started wearing heels and never looked back. It makes me morally superior. I haven't lost an argument since.
I love your attitude, thanks! Is one of your parents tall? My dad was 6' 9"
Being tall makes us the perfect person to help elderly people in the store reach things. It also makes us step on children when we forget to look down, lol.
Height can be intimidating. Just give them a smile and a kind word and everything works out well.
Whew, I'm glad Texas is getting around to solving the real problems in its educational system. And, thank god they got around to voting on new educational material that'll make Martin Luther King look like a political dissident and reminding us that whites won the freedom of blacks.
Now, pass me some more of that Texas Tea (Party), you Texas Taliban.
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