Rick Perry Did Something To the President’s Dog

'We're both mammals, Bro, right?'
This dog always seemed like a real asshole to us. But now he has that look of sheer terror in his eyes like a man came up behind him and, well, interfered. WHAT DID YOU DO, PERRY?

We looked at more of Rick Perry’s Twitter. It seems he mostly uses it to post photos of dogs:

Hey look, a dog.

More dogs.

Another dog.


Black dogs.

Brown dog.

Hey look, a dog.

You know, governor stuff. [Twitter]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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  1. Barbara_i

    Ah, ya idiot! The peanut butter goes on you and not the dog. Enjoy your Jiff Ricky!
    (I am giving myself a time out for this)

  2. kittenbomb

    Bo’s like “He’s going to choke me. I’m telling you guys, this asshole’s going to choke me. Where’s the fucking Secret Service when you need them?”

    1. MoeDeLawn

      Ya got it wrong, Baldar. Ambulance driver Walt Disney taught me that all cats are evil.

    2. SorosBot

      Yes, in fact one that was assassinated:

      Rusik the cat was recruited by police at a checkpoint in the Stavropol region, bordering the Caspian Sea, to uncover illegal cargoes of the endangered fish.

      Police believe it was a contract killing, Russian Ren television reported.

      The cat was hit by a car in which he had found smuggled sturgeon some time before, the station reported.

  3. SorosBot

    Obama should be careful in letting his political enemies around Bo; particularly keep Huckabee's kids away.

  4. undeterredbyreality

    He's got a basset hound in there! A freakin' BASSET HOUND!

    What the hell is a basset anyway?

  5. Come here a minute

    Perry likes dogs because they don't mind when he runs his fingers through their hair, or calls them bitches.

  6. undeterredbyreality

    "Durh–this baseball bat is my penis, har har, and the guv just shat out a mulatto dog!

  7. MinAgain

    You know what we'd be thinking, if he was posting pics of little kids on the playground…

  8. fartknocker

    OK, Rick the Prick likes dogs. Big deal. He also likes to shoot coyotes with his .38 while jogging on the trails surrounding his $9,900 month rental property which I am helping pay for since can't seem to get his mansion rebuilt.

    And yes, Rick is still an asshole.

    1. HistoriCat

      Rick has a lot of cronies – gotta make sure they all get a piece of the rebuilding action.

  9. MiniMencken

    Black lab. Check. Yellow Lab. Check. Chocolate Lab. Check. Wait! Where is the Meth Lab in that series?

  10. Extemporanus

    The little guy he's teabagging in the fourth photo down looks embarrassed as all get out.

  11. donner_froh

    The Secret Service agent who was in charge of Bo's protection detail is now heading up the office at Bagram in Iraq, checking the orange jumpsuits of detainees for contraband.

  12. jus_wonderin

    I have a doxie too. Loving. Willfull. But, I'd rather have an independant one that the dependant ones.

  13. moralturpentine

    His personal peanut butter budget must be huge, though I imagine he somehow manages to charge it to the state budget.

  14. Limeylizzie

    I love that BoBama dog, he is adorabe, but he looks as if he's been rogered swiftly from behind in that picture.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Given how he normally behaves (Bo, not Perry) he didn't appreciate the man trying to hold him back.

  15. June_Cleaver2.0

    "This dog always seemed like a real asshole to us…"

    Bo is such a sweet dog! You can tell he is really Michelle's dog. I go searching the youtubes for Bo stuff. I fell in love with him last year when he hung around Michelle's legs for an hour when she received guests Jan 20, 2010. Love him. (But my dog of choice is Collie/Sheltie.)

  16. PublicLuxury

    I don't like him touching those innocent annimals like he is. I'm calling the ASPCA. Fuckin' Freak

  17. JoeBiteme

    The fact that he obviously likes dogs makes me hate him a bit less. Please remove this at once.

    1. Troubledog

      It's like when Newt got all sentimental at Easter. For a second, it was like he was a human with feelings and needs. I hate the cognitive dissonance.

  18. ttommyunger

    I see a shallow, heartless fuck using dogs as a prop to soften his image. Nothing to see here, move along.

  19. Sophist[ArsPunetica]

    We looked at more of Rick Perry’s Twitter. It seems he mostly uses it to post photos of dogs:

    Making it one of the most coherent and least embarrassing republican authored twitter feeds on the net.

  20. iburl

    It's pretty relaxing with the dogs, out on the ranch. So much better than that downtown, cramped governor's mansion anyway. Plus you get to shoot wild animals on the driveway. Yup.

  21. mumbly_joe

    I think it's safe to assume that Bo is angling to be Rick Perry's running mate in the 2012 race.


  22. chickensmack

    The grainy image, lack of a computer on every desk, and Rick's Butt Cut makes me think that photo was from 1986.

  23. Negropolis

    Odd that he posts dogs on his Twitter, because he allegedly has a boot fetish, and a bad habit of running his fingers through other peoples' (read: strangers') hair.

  24. ShaveTheWhales

    The photo with the three Labbies (1) is insanely cute; (2) has me thinking badgerbadgerbadger.

  25. miss_grundy

    Poor, poor Beau, he has to have that ugly Republican kneeling next to him. I love Beau Obama!!!!!

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