Famous people like Howard Stern and Rahm Emanuel have “verified” Twitter accounts, meaning they get a little green checkmark next to their name on the Twitter. This serves some purpose, we suppose, for those Twitter users who require assurance that the banal “tweets” from whatever public figure are truly from that public figure (or the public figure’s publicity people or personal assistants who actually type the Twitter nonsense). But guess who was refused a Twitter Celebrity Verification? Wisconsin kochsucker Scott Walker, that’s who!
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s staff took a break from shitting on police officers and teachers and firefighters last week to request that Scott Walker’s stupid Twitter account be verified as the official celebrity account of Scott Walker, the governor from Wisconsin who has dedicated his miserable life to a) taking money from the Koch Brothers and b) loyally following their orders to destroy any trace of fair pay or a decent life for the people who teach kids in public schools.
We’ve tried to get the Governor’s account verified through Twitter,” said a spokesperson for Walker’s office yesterday afternoon. The office sent a request to Twitter via fax on official letterhead last week to prove legitimacy of the @GovWalker account, the spokesperson told ClickZ News.
“With all the attention surrounding the Governor…it was kind of important for us to get his account verified. There are a lot of impersonations.”
Yet, despite Walker’s emergence on the national political stage in the midst of his fight with Wisconsin Senate Democrats and public unions, Twitter turned down the Governor’s request.
We bet the Koch Brothers own a website that will verify Scott Walker’s account! It’s called rentboy.com, we’re pretty sure. [ClickZ]
{ 77 comments }
This just proves that Walker is a giant twat.
Should have no trouble getting verified for his Twatter account.
Silly Walker, the Cock brothers already have an account.
Starting one in Scott's name would just be redundant.
It's important that tweets from The Bunker be genuine. Armageddon it!
Guess Twitter has some CWA members in its ranks. On the bright side, Walker could certainly be verified here.
I am king 2day of all twats, mddle clss can suk my dik. #TCOT @douchebag.wisconsin, gov.
Can't the Koch brothers just get an account under their name for Walker? Works with my cell phone account.
The only verify he's going to get will be the "Asshole? Check!" verification.
It's on all HIPAA and census forms now.
I thought it was #eatshitanddieplebians
God I love being a fucking retard.
Signed,
Scott Walker Verified Name
This is good newz for the quitter upfister grfiter from Wassiler. She's not as pathetic as Scott Walker Koch Sucker.
"quitter upfister grfiter from Wassiler"
I'm trying to say this five times fast… but I get two-thirds of the way through and find myself simply giving up.
2/3rds? That's more than some people might make it.
Fox News reports that they get 137% of the way through.
Shouldn't that sign read: "My Ass is Open for Business?"
And the Koch Bros, have apparently being buying, alot of buying that ass.
Teabaggers haven't figured out Twitter yet. They're still too busy forwarding their birther email screeds in pure, unadulterated COMIC SANS, baby!
Hell, they haven't learned to use BCC yet in those emails!
Given that the Koch brothers make toilet paper, I think the site is called asswipe.com
scottiewalker #WHINING!
Ha! Nice ALT text.
What does it say?! I can't see it on my iPorn!
(Please don't say "#WINNING"…)
Great ALT text.
According to the Twitter Terms of Service, chancre-encrusted talking douchnozzles are not allowed their own Twitter accounts.
Apparently, Twitter has higher standards than the voters of Wisconsin.
Pardon me, that's "douche nozzles". The cuts in education funding are affecting me already.
I hope this ends up with us finding out that Gov. Scott Walker is not a real person but in fact an elaborate prank of a journalism professor at Columbia College Chicago.
Does this mean that Scott Walker is only a figment of our imagination?
We wish.
I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop: We'll find out that the verified @GovWalker account already belongs to that blogger who pretended to be David Koch.
Or the one that was twatting as Rham..fucking retard.
Thank you?
I don't do anything important enough to have a Twitter account.
I have one, and it is impossible to be up to less important stuff than I am. Come on, do it!
Even I have a twitter account and I am an old guy who would rather hang out with his grandkids than spend time writing useless information about the websites I post on.
I wrote a feverish, profane, stream of consciousness short "story"(?) on twitter over the course of 140 days that was 140 twats long, with the first twat being 140 characters, and each day's subsequent twat being one character less, until I reached a final twat with one character and then forcibly raped myself in the head with the echo-y end of a wasp-covered twelve gauge.
I haven't touched the twitter since…
T?
I dunno, my life is embarrassing enough at the moment. Sharing my embarrassment with the world would seem to pile on more humiliation than I think I could take.
See, the trick is to twat only about other peoples embarrassments and hope you are obscure enough to avoid the same. Which we are.
I do not have a Twatter account because even I know I'm a Twit but smart enough to stay away from the Twitter.
He owns the domain name crosseyed_asswipe.org
the governor from Wisconsin who has dedicated his miserable life to a) taking money from the Koch Brothers and b) loyally following their orders to destroy any trace of fair pay or a decent life for the people who teach kids in public schools.
Congrats on your suck-cess so early in the term, Gov'.
insert early term abortion joke <here>, I haven't got the energy, thanks to the monsoon of stoopid that rained all over my news feed this week..
Yes, there are a lot of impersonations. But none better than that comedian's dead-on impersonation of the late Kirk Douglas during last Sunday's Academy Awards broadcast.
Even Twitter can't believe such cold-blooded nonsense can come from an actual human? This is bad news for the Lizard People.
Lizard people are taking offense to this characterization.
Its all part of the vast Left Wing Conspiracy to enslave the Lizard People.
Scott, how does it feel to be the lap dog of the Barons Von Moneypants?
I will only be impressed when Twitter retroactively aborts @SarahPalinUSA.
On the upside, Twitter was able to verify his asshole status.
Tick.
Lou Sarah, Grassley, Ashton Kutcher and now Charlie Sheen and Scott Walker killed the two shits I gave about twitter.
Now, now–let's not forget the most useful function of Twitter: Giving asshats an efficient means of outing themselves and thereby facilitating their removal.
Twitter, twitter little scott,
Stick your head into the pot.
Shit your ass into your brains
And piss straight up so that it rains.
The most constructive thing you do
Is wipe the dog crap from your shoe.
Please go back from whence you came
Because your rule–you fucking jerk–is surely lame.
Walker will obviously send state police to fire everyone at Twitter.
May I suggest @GovernorWalkerAsshole
You're welcome fucktard.
Well done, Twitter. I hate you for destroying the English language slightly less now.
OH, LOOK!
It's a super fun video of Capitol cops just cold tackling a Dem lawmaker as he tries to enter the building last night to retrieve some clothes: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/04/nick-mil...
[ADDING: I see that Cicada linked to this a few minutes ago in the firemen thread.
Hey Editors, here's yer third depressing Wisconsin story for the day!]
I just posted this over on the Firefighter thread. Milroy has released a statement where he says Walker has created an "armed-palace" environment in the Capitol. I guess Walker really wants to earn the nickname "Hosni."
ETA: Ask and ye shall receive Extemporanus! My goodness, this internet thingy is fast also, too.
As I added…
And now Jack has just posted the story! Yay, us.
I could not be more ambivalent about Twitter but if they are holding that account for the *proper* Scott Walker, Plastic Palace People Scott Walker, that's terrific.
Everything about Walker is repulsive, including his haircut – it always reminds me of the picture of a viet cong guy at the moment a cop put a bullet through his head. http://www.cah.utexas.edu/db/dmr/gallery_lg.php?s...
Or maybe he just has a large, unsightly lump on his head.
They must've been union workers.
Say what you like about Walker, but at least we now know where the Asshole of Wisconsin is.
Doncha just love how the word "sin" jumps out at you whenever you write about Walker and Wisconsin?
He's like Scott Walker in reverse.
And these spineless pussy trolls who hatefist even the most benign comment can eat a bowl of light salted poison union member dick.
Union member's members? Serve it forth…
Troll downfister back in the saddle again. Post your name, asshole, so we can return the favor.
Do you mean they do that without posting? Just go through and fuck our pees? And just when I made the century mark, too.
Hey sad, lonely troll – FYI – "Palin's Pussy Power" is just a funny name/avatar. So, downfisting commenters here won't get you any closer to sex with her.
This is good news for Charlie Sheen!
For future reference, Scott, when faxing, the side with the crayon scrawl goes down.
I just went to my twitter account. I didn't notice a green check mark by my name or anywhere else on my display. Does this mean I don't exist? Does it mean I could be someone else? Does this mean plywood is the same, because there are no bones in ice cream? Why am I asking you?
You know who else doesn't have a green check mark Twitter account?
Me?
Who knew that Twitter had redeeming qualities? Well played, Twitter; well played.
In the words of a wonkeratti (who wasn't I but I wish were) Scott Walker: You've been twiticuled.
Haha!
Actually, the final twat was this: ‽
Comments on this entry are closed.