Tea Party Hero.Arizona’s Republican/Tea Party Senate is a semi-functioning real-life parody of Bloodsoaked Idiot America. This is the legislative body that responded to the awful gun slaughter of state politicians and citizens in Tucson by creating an Official Handgun of the State of Arizona. And now the same group of hate-filled dingbats has passed a bill legalizing loaded guns at all public events. Now every day can be a Safeway slaughter like the one that killed six people and wounded another thirteen for simply taking going grocery shopping and stopping for a moment to say hello to their congressional representative.

The State Column reports today:

The Arizona State Legislature has passed a bill allowing individuals to carry guns at public events. The bill’s passage comes less than two months after Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords was shot during a public event in Tucson, Arizona.

“Has this body no shame, no compassion, no respect?”, state senator Linda Lopez, a Tucson Democrat and friend of Giffords, asked the Republicans. But they ignored her, as they were too busy eating handfuls of Medicaid Cialis and masturbating to YouTube videos of children being shot in the head. [The State Column]

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  • CountNoAccount

    “Has this body no shame, no compassion, no respect?”

    Now THAT was a rhetorical question.

    • Amo_of_Bogio

      Comedy – you haz it!

  • Frost/Nixon/Robocop

    Remember when asking people if they had no shame made them at least stop and think about it for a minute?

    • nounverb911

      Think? Remember what state we're talking about.

    • LiveToServeYa

      We've come a long way since then. Have we left no sense of decency?

    • GOPCrusher

      Yes. And now in the Race To The Bottom, it has become a Badge of Honor to do and say the most outrageous things that you can possible imagine. In fact, Republiklans/TeaBaggers have made it a contest to one-up each other.

  • Barbara_i

    Medicaid Cialis? They get the name brand erectile dysfunction drug? I would make them get the generic version, Dr Porkenheimer's Boner Juice or they would just have to get it up the old fashioned way and drive their van to a playground.

    *remember, if you have an erection that lasts for more than 4 hours, call a doctor. Shit, if I had a 4-hour chubby, I'd be calling everyone and posting it on Youtube.

    • jodyleek

      Mycoxafloppin (TM)

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Yeah, I'd be calling up all my old girlfriends.

    • V572625694

      I'd be calling the Smithsonian, saying "Move Dillinger's schwanz over!"

      • Barbara_i

        Once again, you sent me to the Google. Thanks!

        • V572625694

          Our Wonket is nothing if not edumacational

          • SanfordandSon11

            that some type of not-very-exotic rash?

  • SorosBot

    The way Arizona's been acting lately, I wouldn't be surprised if they went full teatard insane and named Louchner and Shawna Forde state heroes.

    Edit to note that I typed this when Ken's image wasn't working so I didn't know he had made a version of the same joke.

  • nounverb911

    Who will shoot the governor?

    What too soon?

    • ttommyunger

      In Governor Drinky's instance, no.

  • Respitetini

    Wait, can the brown people have guns too, or are they just talking about people that matter? 'Cause if they let brown people have guns, they might want to be a bit more careful with the whole "Papieren, bitte" thing they have going on down there.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Yeah, I wanna see how happy they are when cholos with Mac-10s start walking around "exercising their 2d Amendment Rights".

  • GunTotingProgressive

    Welcome to the Meth Lab of Democracy.

    • 97pqf

      hah funny but we sup post to be a Republic NOT A Democracy = mob rules
      but not same as the me Both party's SUX

  • “Has this body no shame, no compassion, no respect?”, state senator Linda Lopez, a Tucson Democrat and friend of Giffords, asked the Republicans.

    The Arizona Republicans might answer if someone will define what "shame" and "respect" for them.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Well, they know that compassion is like empathy, and that's a pussy commie sentiment, so that one's out.

    • bluescrubbie

      "Shame" is getting caught having sex outside of wedlock, and "respect" is when someone does what you want. So the Republicans likely think Lopez is a crackpot for asking questions that have nothing to do with loaded guns in public.

    • tessiee

      They have respect for their corporate masters; does that count?

  • Callyson

    “Has this body no shame, no compassion, no respect?”
    Belligerence is shame
    Indifference is compassion
    Contempt is respect
    Welcome to the 21st century version of 1984…

  • KathrynSane

    I'm pretty sure the next step is to mandate that the people of Arizona shoot their guns all the time, at any place, at any person or thing. If everyone is shooting constantly then people can protect themselves from the bad people who are shooting constantly, right?

    • freakishlywrong

      Hee! Like when we were kids and we would helicopter punch around the house. Yee haw!

      • tessiee

        Bart: "I'm just going to punch the air like this… [punches] and if you get in my way, that's just too bad"
        Lisa: "I'm just going to keep kicking like this… [kicks] and if you get in my way, that's just too bad"
        Homer: "OK, pie, I'm just going to keep doing this… [munch munch] and if you get in my way, that's just… oh, the hell with it." [grabs and eats pie]

    • OneYieldRegular

      Well, since there were already several people with loaded guns at the Giffords event who were completely unable to do anything with them to prevent the that murderous rampage, I think this may be the only solution.

    • 97pqf

      I think. they all should be made wear their ID in plain sight ….no ID …. you be a goner open hunting season..

  • edgydrifter

    Don't retreat, REGRESS!

    • tribbzthesquidz

      Time to lock'n'chode!

    • tessiee

      I… I think I love you.

  • the_onceler

    Arizona is honey trap for the crazies.

    • You got that right. You should not arm people in a state where the temperature reaches 120 degrees.

    • Used to be Florida. Crazy grows best in the heat.

      • OneDollarJuana

        So do protests. I'm looking forward to an entertaining summer.

    • V572625694

      You'd think that more people would've realized there's got to be a catch when the price of a Sprawlville McMansion is only $150K. Okay, sure, the water bill is $400 a month, and the electrical bill is $600 in summer and $300 in "winter." Now at least you can carry your sidearm everywhere. Paradise at last!

  • sezme

    Well obviously you should have the right to shoot into a crowd if you suspect that one of them is a criminal. Reminds me of that time Elvis received a death threat before one of his Vegas stage shows and thus brought a loaded pistol on stage with him – in order to shoot back at the audience should that become necessary.

    • OneDollarJuana

      Elvis knew his audience well.

    • tessiee

      You can hardly blame him, after his TV attacked him like that.

  • CountNoAccount

    "There are places where it is appropriate to disarm people," Gould said. "But stickers don't make people safe — metal detectors and security guards will."

    "Guns don't kill people, not having guards and metal detectors kills people!", said the CEO's of the security and metal detector companies, who stood to the side laughing and high-fiving each other

  • RedneckMuslin

    Let's think about this for a minute. Would it be possible to get these people to shoot each other off? Not in a violent sort of way. More of a thin-the-herd kind of way.

    • 97pqf

      HAHA but i could make a few good suggestions for any one AZ..
      1 if you dont speak english =I'd move out of town and fast there getting crazey
      2 if ask for id ,=say "left it in the truck" and go get it =" but leave "
      One way or another. Shite just might hit the fan there…some times you can smell it be for it happens…sniff for the fart that comes first.. with this new thing someone farted big time raise a window!!

  • Reginald_Pants

    Thank god for the Arizona legislature…continuing to make our moderately crazy Texas legislature look reasonable by comparison.

    • MinAgain

      I'd say the same about Tennessee, but Sen. Ketron has filed a resolution to investigate creating our own currency, so I'd better not.

      • Fare la Volpe

        The TN legislature is populated by leprechauns, I swear to God. And not the fun leprechauns with the gold; I mean the vicious demon leprechauns from Back 2 Da Hood.

        • MinAgain

          Oh, so you've attended a Senate floor vote.

        • tessiee

          Now you've gone and scared Garth.

      • 97pqf

        hay i hope it come out good this so called paper money aint worth squat. what.50/1.00
        gold and silver holds there value..and goes up

  • Chillwaver

    Wish I could say something, but that pic of Loughner sucked all the snark out of me…

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    WI was taking the spotlight; Arizona had to take some initiative to win back the title belt for Most Fucked Up State of the Union.

  • nounverb911

    I nominate Jan Brewer for official state target.

  • Hatrabbit

    Nice state, Arizona. I hear the 'Fuck-tard Stupid Blossom' is the Official State Flower.

  • freakishlywrong

    Gaaaahhh! That picture! Put Huckadoodle back up! Santorum. Anything!

  • baconzgood

    Kids, the Circus in in town get you're uzis!!!

  • SayItWithWookies

    This must be Jan Brewer's way of letting all those poor and sick people waiting for organ donations that she's going to let die have on more chance to do it themselves.

  • mereoblivion

    People packin' loaded guns at all pubic events sounds like it could get painful.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I hate crowds anyway.

      No, I mean it, I really hate crowds. GRRRRR!

      [ Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! ]

      (What? That asshole jostled me! Had it coming.)

      • SorosBot

        No, the asshole was a union thug who punched you.

  • freakishlywrong

    I wish we could move the Grand Canyon out of there.

    • jodyleek

      There is a Bristol Palin joke in here somewhere.

    • OneDollarJuana

      There's so many big holes in AZ I don't think they'd notice.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Really. I have friends coming to visit from out of the country next week who wanted to visit the Grand Canyon, but I've made them aware that Arizona is a "no fly zone."

    • fuflans

      i wish we could move them out of here.

    • Negropolis

      I wish we could raze Maricopa County and push it into the Grand Canyon.

  • kissawookiee

    The state Senate is also considering issuing a special Teatard license plate through the MVD, despite the fact that those are supposed to be fundraisers for stuff like child abuse prevention and spay 'n' neuter programs. I spend most of my mornings here quietly weeping.

    • DoktorZoom

      I could certainly support a fundraiser to spay and neuter Teatards.

    • tessiee

      On the plus side, they could serve a purpose, similar to Truck Nuts and Bush '04 bumper stickers, of alerting you that this is someone you want to stay far, far away from, whether in their ve-hick-yule or out.

  • gef05


    (n) degeneration, the process of declining from a higher to a lower level of essential quality.

    See, AZ state legislature.

    • 97pqf

      Devolution = means your breading with stupid people or stupid people invading a higher level of people that brings them down?
      look at the dark ages compared to Roman empire before it. was Invaded by a lower not so smart Race of people as a hole cause its direct fall..with internal problems was what tipped the scale to doom..
      something bringing things down over all.

  • FNMA

    The funeral sector was behind it too, big time.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Updated "Graduate:"

      "Mortuaries, my boy, mortuaries."

      • FNMA

        Or, "Embalming fluid, my boy, embalming fluid."

  • Terry

    I was going to suggest in all seriousness that we give the State of Arizona to Mexico, but realized that Mexico probably doesn't want Arizona as they have enough of their own problems and already own way too much unproductive desert.

    • Moonbat

      And guns, also, too.

    • 97pqf

      haha texas i do believe was offered back to Mexico and they said the couldn't keep up with its government programs " freebees" for its people…so nada LOL

  • facehead

    You can have my gun when you pry it from the cold dead hands of the mugger who took it from my warm and clammy hands and shot me with it.

    • 97pqf

      Do not Own them unless you know how to use them.

  • let's just give them back to mexico, be like, "who are the illegals now, assholes?"

    • tessiee

      Mexico doesn't want them, either.

  • MinAgain

    Senator Lopez needs to start doing more crossword puzzles and brainteasers, because she has obviously forgotten where the hell she is.

  • mavenmaven

    The more people killed by gunfire at a younger age, the less the state has to shell out in health insurance and medical care later! Its the Bush doctrine. And if you can get them to believe that prayer is better than "doctors", then you really fix the problem!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Compassionate Conservativism: We shoot you dead right now, or you have to spend your life growing up in AZ. Your choice.

    • tessiee

      Having sent away our jobs, taken our money, killed us off in pointless wars, crushed our unions, shot our leaders, and stomped on our cities like Godzilla (I'm looking at YOU, Detroit!), the owning class is now just shooting us outright, and they've even outsourced THAT to the rednecks.

      A true triumph of the free market.

  • DeeJayKitteh

    I propose a new state motto to go along with their new official handgun — "Arizona: Gunfight at the So-Not-OK Corral"

  • fartknocker

    I sometimes wonder if we as a nation should invoke some superpower to dissolve a state's sovereignty and revert it back to a territory. In Arizona's case we would give it back to the Native Americans or Mexico along with a nicely phrased letter saying "have a nice day."

    Those fucking Teabaggers in Sun City would fill their kalostomy bags if they learned they were cutoff from Medicare and Medicaid.

  • LeAlbatross

    You know, normally, I'd be appalled. This time? I've gone so far past that I'm in a weird "Well. So. What emotion can I use now?" state. Arizona. Florida. Do any of these states have -any- redeeming features or aspects to them, at all?

    • SorosBot

      Arizona has one big redeeming feature, but since it predates humanity by a few million years Arizonan's can't claim credit for it. And crocodiles are pretty damn cool.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Actually, Arizona is still mineralicious. Unfortunately, that's going to be more and more important as China ramps up their needs for raw materials, especially copper. I've heard that the Earth does not contain enough copper for China to become as developed as we are, so it's important to keep what we have.

    • DeeJayKitteh

      As for Florida, it's got Key West. Any place where you can walk around drinking a frozen concoction made with everclear is just fine with me.

    • Pithaughn

      Amazingly they both have an Embry – Riddle campus.

    • tessiee

      Um… *thinks* Florida has some nice beaches.

      And um… no…

      That's all I got.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Implant guns in the womb-2nd Amendment Rights, Baby!

    • tessiee

      Which has the added plus of enabling the fetus to keep their hussy mothers in line… you know, in case they were thinking of aborting, or miscarrying… or having a glass of wine… or or or…

  • Blendergoathead

    I wouldn't have a problem with this if they shot the *right* people in the face, but that's just not going to happen.

  • Weenus299

    Because local bowling alleys and grocery stores are not yet exploding with bullets in slow motion like they would a la "The Matrix."

  • GuyClinch

    Arizona needs an Official State Lobotomy.

    • Moonbat

      Sounds like it's already had one.

  • Fare la Volpe

    No offense to any Arizonans (maybe a little offense), but this is the state that elected Barry Goldwater and Walnuts McCain. My expectations were never set that high.

    • GuyClinch

      At least Goldwater evolved (e.g., he would've voted for DADT repeal), whereas McCain only devolves.

    • Steverino247

      These assholes make Barry Goldwater look like Jimmy Carter. I forget what the issue was, but before Goldwater died, he voiced an opinion about something and the R's were so upset they were going to take his name off office buildings. I think it was this:

      In 1994 he told The Los Angeles Times, "A lot of so-called conservatives don't know what the word means. They think I've turned liberal because I believe a woman has a right to an abortion. That's a decision that's up to the pregnant woman, not up to the pope or some do-gooders or the Religious Right."

      More blasphemy (a victimless crime) here:

  • DoktorZoom

    Feel free to copy this and send it to any Republican members of the Arizona Senate that you might want to: Stay Classy, Arizona!

    • genxr

      I love the fact that Republicans have been repeating, "An armed society is a polite society" as an argument in favor of open carry (or conceal carry, heck any carry!) and then when there's a shooting rampage blamed on their rhetoric they start screaming and whining about how come they're not allowed to talk in tough, insulting, and violent rhetoric?

      • DoktorZoom

        Apparently they took Flannery O'Connor a bit too literally, and think that we would all be good people if there were somebody there to shoot us every minute of our lives.

        Also, I figured I should give Loughner his very own caption, too. Also.

      • GOPCrusher

        And none of them have explained why any of the armed people at the Giffords shooting, did anything to stop the massacre.

    • Gopherit

      I am quietly waiting for the rash of idiocy-inspired accidental shootings by "good samaritans" hoping to get into the next edition of the NRAs Armed Citizen.

      • GOPCrusher

        I'll bet on a couple of whiskey fueled morons having a good old fashioned gunfight outside of a bar on the main street of Bullhead City.

        • Gopherit

          Doesn't have to be outside the bar. We allow guns inside. Weeeee!

  • Hatrabbit

    God. The photo. That's a head only an NRA lobbyist could love.

  • BZ1

    There was an armed spectator at the Tucson shooting and had to be prevented from shooting one of Senator Giffords' staff who had disarmed the killer. Sorry no snark, but this is too serious an issue.

    • DoktorZoom

      I've heard that, too; just for the sake of argument-bolstering, do you happen to have a source for that? Not that I doubt it happened; I'd just like to be able to cite a source when I mention this myself.

      But as I said shortly after the Giffords shooting, the gunfuckers' appeal to the holy rites of self-defense is especially unconvincing when we're talking about a mass shooting in a public place: I was at the Tucson post office in 1998 when a crazy woman started shooting from a car into the lobby (She's mentioned near the end of this story on Loughner); at that location, she only hit one person in the leg, but she went on to kill another person and injure two more elsewhere. In all the confusion, it would have been very easy for any of us there to mistake a "defender" returning fire for the original shooter. An "armed citizen" in that situation could quite easily have added to the casualty count.

      • BZ1

        The spectator was Joseph Zamudio and his interview immediately after the shooting indicates that he was "packing". See: Zamudio was confused as to who was involved and initially grabbed the wrong person. This story… notes that he had his gun cocked and ready.

        • DoktorZoom

          Thanks! Now I won't have to worry about the inevitable "urban legend" claim… now, of course, the gun-strokers' claim is that Zamudio is the very embodiment of responsible gun ownership (which, yes, he appears to be), and that no one would EVER actually make the mistake that he almost did (which is pure wishful thinking).

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yes, when the bullets start flying, not everyone in the vicinity will necessarily be acting on their best, most reasoned discretion.

      As long as there are guns around, there's going to be some dude with a tiny peen and Glock that's thinking, "I'm the man. When the shit comes down, I'm gonna be the one that takes out the bad guy."

      • GOPCrusher

        Most of them can't get logged off from Redstate long enough to get out of the house.

      • Pithaughn

        Be sure to tell anyone who will listen that guns and ammo do not mix well with alcohol, AND mix even worser with testosterone and adrenaline.

  • PsycWench

    Here in Virginia there are a lot of conservatives that would love to see completely unrestricted carrying of guns. I eagerly await the day that I give back an exam and a pissed-off unbalanced student shoots me.

    • HistoriCat

      You should lobby for a right to carry at work law. I guess that it would be greeted with horror by your academic overlords but the resulting meltdown as the business owners and gun lovers tore into each other would be priceless.

  • Bizzaro World Legislation:

    "Mmmm. Guns kill too many people. Answer is more guns."

    • OneDollarJuana

      But the right wing doesn't believe that guns kill too many people. They feel that anyone killed by a gun was a brown murderer/rapist/junkie and deserved it, regardless of the facts.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Florida passed a similar law where you are allowed to use deadly force if you feel threatened.

    I feel threatened a lot!

    The local bible-thumping prosecutor has been trying to get it repealed, since everytime theres' a shooting, the shooter pleads 'threatened" and walks.

  • DaSandman

    It's all about the sun. It beats down on their fucking brain cavities and turns the contents into a grey Zarex like substance.

    Think not? Florida, Mississippi, Orange County, Alabama etc, etc…

    I rest my case. Please pass the malaria.

  • metamarcisf

    If by "public events", they mean Sky Harbor Airport, then I'm all for the law. And Arizona Cardinal football games might finally have some entertainment value, as hordes of rabid fans play "who can shoot Bill Bidwell"

  • DangerHelvetica

    To paraphrase Homer; to guns! the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

  • Steverino247

    This is about money and the attendant corruption, pure and simple. Gun lobby money is being paid to Arizona legislators to influence them to allow even more guns to be sold. I'm sure this goes for any other bill in Arizona, but the fact that people are getting killed with those guns makes it newsworthy. I'm sure there's cushy deals being made for contract prisons, but until an inmate dies, you're not going to hear a thing about it. Since many politicians got over the shame of taking that money a long time ago, adding some gun violence shame will do no good.

  • GOPCrusher

    So, how many points do they award for a nine year old girl?
    I'm assuming that they want to make this like Death Race 2000, right?

  • Redhead

    There was a caller on some morning radio show I was listening to on the way to work the other day who said he thought everyone should carry a gun because then we'd have a LOT less crime because people could defend themselves.

    Because a bunch of people scared out of their mind hearing gun shots at a crowded public event, where many of them probably can't really see who's actually firing, and most of them probably haven't shot their gun in high-stress situations if they've ever shot it much at all, are really really going to make the situation better.

    I guess if they start firing randomly and everyone ends up dead from the bullet hail storm, it solves the police's problem of figuring out who did it and whether he gets the death penalty or not.

    • SorosBot

      Well sure it would help, look how many shooting sprees have ended with the assailant being shot by an armed bystander, instead of either tackled by unarmed bystanders or the shooter killing themselves!

      • BZ1

        Killing themselves, yes, but armed spectators spraying rounds, ?

    • franco_pinyon

      Remember those great Westerns where Wyatt Earp, or some such "newfangled" lawman brought law-and-order by making everybody check their guns when they came to town?

      Well, heck with that sissy stuff in Arizona. Strap 'em on, boys!

  • V572625694

    You'd think that more people would've realized there's got to be a catch when the price of a Sprawlville McMansion is only $150K. Okay, sure, the water bill is $400 a month, and the electrical bill is $600 in summer and $300 in "winter." Now at least you can carry your sidearm everywhere. Paradise at last! Gunz for all, all the time!

    Arizona: America's free fire zone.

  • WhatTheHeck

    ™Mah Guns n’ mah Bible ® © 2011. Arizona State. U.S.A.

  • ttommyunger

    Well, now that Arizona has its State Flower, Song, Bird and Gun, I suppose the next step is for Governor McDrinky to nominate Jared as the Official State Homicidal Maniac. I expect to see this mugshot turned into a portrait and hung in the State Capitol Rotunda very soon.

    • tessiee

      How much do you want to bet that Cafe Press already has it on T-shirts and coffee mugs?

      • ttommyunger

        Prolly does!

  • Kidneys4Sale

    Will someone please get the New Black Panthers a crate of AR-15's and Greyhound tickets to the next Jan Brewer speaking event? That'd be swell.

  • glamourdammerung

    This is good news for John McCain.

  • buford2k10

    Hey Ken, tell it like it is.

  • Buckminster

    When is Arizona going to do us all a favor and secede from the union?

  • franco_pinyon

    Arizona hunting season on humans runs Jan. 1 through Dec. 31. Statewide.

  • luke_warm

    Get it right, Layne. This bill eliminates 1-time-in-10,000 incidents like the Giffords event where 6 people are killed and another 13 shot, and creates the possibility for dozens of political events where only 3 or 4 people killed, with just a few innocent bystanders shot.

    Some political events might now have as few as 2 people killed!

  • jim89048

    At least it's a dry hate.

  • benjo765

    Perhaps in this vein, as a boon to psycho gun nuts, they could erect a statue commemorating the shootings; of the gunman, naturally.

    • tessiee

      Isn't there some kind of ____'s Law that indicates that reality has surpassed satire?

  • MilwaukeeKent

    Here in Wisconsin I watched the events since last year in Arizona and took comfort that "It can't happen here". This year I realize the conservatives really want to make every state as stupid and vicious as Arizona. Good luck with that guns everywhere approach, that should work out just fine, can't imagine any trouble.
    Despite my friends there that I'd love to visit again, I'll continue to avoid the place and would hope that every presidential candidate in 2012 does the same, really.

  • Joey_Ratz

    “Has this body no shame, no compassion, no respect?”

    Please. This is, after all, the people who wanted to call this law the Giffords Act.

  • My wife was recruited by a firm to work in Arizona. They hadn't even gotten past the Z in 'zona before we said, "Hell no!"

  • Negropolis

    So, when are they going to vote on "Official State Assassination Attempt?"

  • joanjetkitty

    if they start arming nine year olds girls i'm all good with that

  • Soylent Green

    AZ needed a new face ever since the Heart Attack Grill guy died. This crazy skinhead fits right in.

  • 97pqf

    Looks like there State motto my be We need a few more Aliens/illegals.
    we have no idea where the others wet to??

  • pooniska

    Can the legislature carry into the statehouse, or into working sessions? I think that should be allowed for sure.

  • tessiee

    I think we have to put Elvis in his own category, if for no other reason than he was the only man who ever looked good in up-turned collars.

  • tessiee

    Not lard?


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