high drama

Protestor Throws Crosses At Muslim Praying Near White House

According to TPM’s Ryan J. Reilly, a police officer at the scene said this Muslim man shows up at the White House “every couple days” to pray. That was lucky for anti-Sharia protestors who were there and couldn’t find any Muslims to yell at.

He was quickly surrounded by a large group of protestors who shouted an array of insults at him: mocking him for drinking Starbucks coffee, telling him to go back to his country and even throwing tiny crosses at his feet as he prayed.

The “Jesus” chant is great. These people seem to think they’re spectators at a sporting event and their deity is losing the match.

Can President Obama please find these people some jobs? There has to be something worthwhile these folks can do with their time. How about we put them in elementary school classes to boost the self-confidence of America’s children, who are all more intelligent and skilled than they are? [TPM]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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  1. ElephasMaximus

    I am getting a touchscreen pc at work. No more keyboards to clean the barf off of. That is the second time today.

  2. nounverb911

    "Can President Obama please find these people some jobs?"
    How about cleaning sewers by hand?

    1. BerkeleyBear

      There are some landmines and bomblets that need to be cleared out all over the Balkans, Iraq and Afghanistan, from what I understand. These folks may be as trainable as those Moroccan monkeys.

      1. Doktor Avalanche

        They certainly wouldn't turn down the chance to travel overseas and perhaps convert some of the indigenous peoples now, would they?

      2. Lost_Teabaggers

        Hey…yeah, we can sell the whole thing to them as missionary work….this could work! "Pick landmines for Jebus and convert Muslins" Think of the possibilities, people.

  3. PublicLuxury

    Muslins are evil. Christians are not evil. They and they alone hold all the secrets to the vast universe. Stupid fuckin' creeps.

    Hey. Morans. My God doesn't hate.

    1. MaxUdargo

      Jesus loves you. But apparently he loves you the same way an abusive boyfriend loves you.

  4. CalamityJames

    Jack, you are on a roll today!


    If they can scream out the name of imaginary friends, then so can I.

      1. Doktor Avalanche

        Yeah, there's been a high tide of stupid lately. The last gasps of a formerly dominate culture dying?

  5. imissopus

    They are confused: it's the Mormons who can't drink coffee.

    And Good God, Wonkette. What are you trying to do to us today? If we all drop dead of apoplexy who will give you all your precious, precious page views?

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      You just don't get it, do you, you filthy commie libtard. The asshole terrist was drinking Starbucks!!!!!9!11!!!!!!#

      1. BerkeleyBear

        See, I could see the coffe snobs club attacking him for drinking that nasty swill, but generally they are more into sitting in dark cafes, wearing berets and sipping espresso through suger cubes.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I still have the puppy link open from that previous nightmare post of 'Murican racist stupidity.

      I'm leaving the puppy link open as long as I need it.

      1. hockeymom

        (I didn't like the puppy link. A puppy in a drawer is kind of creepy. Please don't take away my meager pee-points.)

        1. SheriffRoscoe

          This is just for you, hockeymom. Please don't tell the wonketteers that I posted such a pussyfied video.

      2. ChessieNefercat

        I said a couple of weeks ago something to the effect that we need permanent links to puppies and kittens and baby birdies and laughing babies in easy reach of these artery-bursting stories that keep coming up.

  6. Mahousu

    … mocking him for drinking Starbucks coffee …

    The Folgers Fanatics are getting a little out of hand.

    1. Iam_Who_Iam

      Correction: Jesus Hussein Christ.
      Smutboffin pointed that out some time ago. I understand the confusion, honestly I had no clue that was what the H stood for.

    2. BarryOPotter

      "Hey! We're a little busy up here, mkay? Do you want it done fast or do you want it done right? Doesn't matter what you want, I'm doing it MY way, which is, you know, The Lord's way. Oh snip snap snippity snap!"

      That's the reply I heard from the voice in my head…

  7. GuyClinch

    Hope somebody got some footage of ants crawling over the crucifixes they were throwing down, too.

    1. Negropolis

      I saw the flag and heard the person screaming "Jesus," and it didn't compute for a full five seconds.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      Jesus, as Son of God, could opt to represent any country — even a non-Christian one — in international competition, but He is also Son of man (or woman, as the case may be, by Maryam al-Nazara) who was from the Promised Land. & as any good Jewish boy should, Jesus has chosen to honour His mother by playing for her country.

    1. KathrynSane

      Seriously. I'm starting to think Jack is getting paid to post all this awful shit by all of our shrinks so they can make sure they'll stay in business.

    2. Steverino247

      As a former SC, let me say that suicide is a long-term solution to a short-term problem. Sarah Palin will say something stupid soon and your on-line experience will improve. You'll see.

  8. SayItWithWookies

    And I thought they were playing jacks. Or maybe rolling dice for that guy's clothes.

    1. jodyleek

      The praying man seems very "Christ-like" what with his turning the other cheek and all. And the so-called Christians seem like the soldiers mocking the King of the Jews in that one old book that these people have obviously never read.

  9. Barbara_i

    I'm going to go and clean up the garage and have a crying jag and get it out of my system. I don't know who was more of a crap weasel there, the people who did it or the people who turned a blind eye to it.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      I am a violent person and I know I wouldn't have kept my cool, Which is why my wife doesn't let me out of the house much.

  10. prommie

    "Anti-muslim protester?" When did we stop calling them "religious bigots?" Or "pigfucking ignorant douchenozzles who should eat a giant sack of fresh, oozing dicks?"

    1. BarryOPotter

      When did we stop calling them "religious bigots?"

      We didn't stop, but others were getting uncomfortable and are trying to give credence to religious bigots' pigfuckeritude.

  11. Natl_Indecency_Cmdr

    "The “Jesus” chant is great. These people seem to think they’re spectators at a sporting event and their deity is losing the match."

    here we go jeebus, here we go! [clap clap]

      1. BerkeleyBear

        I can't remember the guy's name, but there is a comic (Dan St. Pierre, maybe?) who has a hilarious take on baseball in heaven along these lines, with Harry Carey calling the game. Much better than real baseball.

        1. smokefilledroommate

          My father has had a Parent-autographed puck since the mid '70's–still one of his very few prized possessions.

    1. chickensmack

      I wish it felt good to be outside of it, but that was a human — praying — that was being assaulted by Manifest God Damn Destiny.

      My atheism gets no solace when anyone gets demeaned.

      1. Darklady

        I didn't say I take solace in anyone being demeaned. I said I've never been so glad to be an atheist.

        In this particular case, my only horse in the race is the horse of basic humanity…

        Frankly, the only person who wasn't demeaned by this experience was the Muslim. The Christians made absolute fools of themselves. Sad stuff.

        1. CliveWarren

          Never place any money on Basic Humanity. Although, his father was a mudder… His mother was a mudder… And this is some dirty, muddy shit…

    2. Dudleydidwrong

      I agree. Watching people like that makes me real proud to be one of the heathen.

      1. ttommyunger

        Never been more ashamed of Christians, speaking as the world's worst (I actually have the trophy on the bookcase).

  12. SheriffRoscoe

    Not shown was the kind, loving way the Christians began converting this Muslin to the true faith. It was when he failed to respond favorably that the shouting and the intimidation was needed. If that doesn't work it will be torture followed by some form of horrific execution, because they love him.

    1. Negropolis

      If that doesn't work it will be torture followed by some form of horrific execution, because they love him.

      It's not funny 'cause it's true. :( Because they love him, indeed.

  13. jodyleek

    Yes "Jesus Loves You" sign man, Jesus loves the praying guy. On the other hand, he thinks you're a dick.

  14. Litlebritdifrnt

    What I found highly amusing was when the "so called" Christian yelled at the guy "what kind of God tells his followers to go out and kill those that don't believe in him" I was thinking "duh yours actually" has the moran every actually, you know, read a Bible?

      1. Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

        Sikhism's Ik Onkar seems pretty laid back, especially for someone so fond of knives.

      1. Litlebritdifrnt

        Well you know that would involve that Librul Elitist thing such as "reading" and we all know that they can't stand that sort of stuff.

    1. V572625694

      These're the kind of people who, in a power failure, are always surprisingly quick to start looting. "The power's out at the police station! Free flatscreens at Walmart! "

      1. SorosBot

        No, these are white people; only black and brown folks loot, white people find. Didn't our media coverage of Katrina tell you anything?

  15. donner_froh

    The quiet dignity of a man who comes to pray in public in front of one of the symbols of the government that has declared war upon and carried out mass slaughter on his co-religionists compared with barbarity of the mob who comes to spew hatred and vile abuse at everyone who believes differently than they do is amazing.

    The score–
    Muslim guy: 1 Christian crowd: negative one thousand.

  16. Trannysurprise

    This is just the trailer for NBC's newest number 1 hit drama "Sharia Law and Order."

  17. ArmoredBore

    Sorry, Irony died today. Stabbed in the throat by a teabagger with an American flag.

  18. SheriffRoscoe

    I never did understand the need to pray in public, though. I don't care what religion it is. Are we communing with God or are we putting on a show?

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      "Let not your left hand know what your right hand is doing. But go ahead and pray ostentatiously in a very public place. Heck, go ahead and set yourself on fire, too, if you want to make the 5 o'clock news."

      1. SheriffRoscoe

        If I were inclined to pray, I think I'd do it discreetly, in a manner befitting the intimate nature of the transaction. But hey, I'm that way with my cell phone conversations too. What ya gonna do….

    2. comrad_darkness

      It's a show, but even as an atheist, I'm willing to conjecture that the pray-er could imagine it's a show for God. You know, getting God's attention when you are just one of 6 billion souls trembling in the shadows doesn't sound likely to get your message across. Whereas the grand Parthenon-style edifices might evoke a racial memory for being in the right place where upon God's eye might just bother to alight upon one, if only for a nanosecond.

  19. problemwithcaring

    Good thing they were shouting, "JESUS!JESUS!" I heard from LouTwatSarah that you can't say "God" in the public square.

  20. maureenn

    Love the "Thank you troops for keeping us safe since 9/11" sign… Do they have a problem with the troops before 9/11?

  21. smokefilledroommate

    Is today some kind of Super Duper Ultra Extreme religious intolerance day or something?

  22. Thurman Munster IV

    More hate and violence in 30 seconds than in 3 weeks of demonstrations in Madison. (God slaps forehead)

    1. WriteyWriterton

      I think you've conflated that w/ a fine old tradition for welcoming ex-slaves to second-class citizenship.

    2. neiltheblaze

      The cross-burning happens later after the pot luck supper – back at the Motel 6.

  23. LabRodent

    Jesus Lopez was the point guard on my high school team. Those chants of jesus, jesus, jesus brought back some fond memories. Thank you.

  24. mumbly_joe

    These people seem to think they’re spectators at a sporting event and their deity is losing the match.

    Honestly, given the things Jesus said and believed in, according to the Gospels? He probably is.

  25. hagajim

    Every time I think we can't get any dumber – we lower the bar even more by throwing in some bigoted intolerance. Christ! And I don't mean the one these soulless dickwads are praising. I mean it as an epithet.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      I hope not — it's my fervent hope that there are atheists because people come reasonably to conclude that there is no evidence for the existence of a deity. This putrid little display is merely evidence that being religious does not necessarily make one a kinder or more tolerant person, which could still be the case if a stupid, loutish, hateful deity existed.

      Personally I'm an atheist not because one or another god sucks or his/her followers suck, but because it seems the most reasonable conclusion based on the evidence or lack thereof. And I'd continue to be so even if there were a gang of idiot small-minded atheists who behaved the way those so-called Christians did — I'd certainly be ashamed to hold such a deep-seated outlook with them, but with billions of people on this earth, some are bound to agree with me and yet still suck.

      Okay, lecture over — but speaking of atheism, I've got an idea for what these morons should give up during Lent.

      1. BornInATrailer

        "I've got an idea for what these morons should give up during Lent."

        I vote oxygen.

  26. Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

    …even throwing tiny crosses at his feet as he prayed.

    Everyone is blowing this way out of proportion. Clearly this was just some diligent citizen performing a routine vampire check. You should be thanking him for his civic-minded concern for public safety.

  27. PalinPussyPower

    Could not watch. Had to watch "Two Girls One Cup" to cleanse the palate after the last bigot clip posted on The Wonkettes. Don't have the energy for another one.

  28. Redhead

    I LOVE the sign that says "Thank you troops for keeping us safe since 9/11."

    Since there have been no terrorist attacks since then…

  29. OneYieldRegular

    These people are doing one helluva piss-poor job of bringing me over to the Lord's side.

  30. J Rbt. Oppenheiner

    If you came upon this scene, what would you say or do? Or if you came upon the OC SS from this afternoon? No snark here, I'm just curious.

    1. Extemporanus

      If I came upon this scene, I would come upon this scene.

      Those fuckers would disperse before I could even finish buttoning up my fly.

    2. maureenn

      Hard to say, really. In OC, I'd probably go up to the folks walking in & chat with them about the event, smile at their kids, make a donation. In DC, perhaps I'd sit beside the praying man & meditate on world peace or something like that.

  31. SorosBot

    The ridiculous thing is, based on the TPM article the guy these bigots were planning to protest is an obvious clown, a radical Muslim version of Steppin Fetchit who's actually performing for the benefit of bigots like them, but they don't get the "joke" even though they are the target audience.

  32. emmelemm

    Remove the mote from your own eye before removing the mote from your brother's eye. [paraphrasing]

  33. sportshort

    Ah, the bracing slap of xenophobia. If only more people were ignorant and bigoted. I, myself, feel ashamed to be the minority these days. I just want to "fit in." Maybe the rich people would like me and want to take me home as a pet. Then I could just lay around and bark at Mooslums all day long. And eat. And listen to the other ignorant dogs barking. And eat.

  34. JackDempsey1

    These aren’t ordinary civilians.
    These are Crusades re-enactors.
    Surprisingly, this 1 min 45 sec compresses the thrilling Third Crusade from 1187-1192. The “Jesus Loves You” sign guy is quite obviously Richard the Lionheart, who was basically Churchill in chainmail.

  35. Selfish_T

    And then, with "Enter Sandman" blaring, Jesus burst out from a cloud of smoke-machine smoke, ripped through a banner that said "GO JESUS BEAT MOHAMMAD", and wiped out this Mohammedan with a sweet helmet-to-helmet-style hit.

  36. Fare la Volpe

    What kind of god would tell you to kill somebody because you don't believe in their god?

    I don't know, man who is calling for the extermination of an entire people based solely on how they pray to Sky Daddy, why don't you tell me?

  37. gullywompr

    What… you mean that whole Sharia 4 America protest failed to materialize, but a buncha idiot right-wing fucktards fell for the whole story and showed up anyway ready for the next Crusades?

    I'm shocked. SHOCKED!!!

  38. neiltheblaze

    WTF? Is there some astronomical event triggering off everybody's bigot chips today or something?

  39. Hatrabbit

    "even throwing tiny crosses at his feet as he prayed."

    Way to respect Jesus, Jesus Freaks.

  40. NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    These fine 'people' were throwing crosses on the ground?
    Sounds like the same type that like to mess-up the Qur'an

  41. WhatTheHeck

    The force is strong with you today. The hate in the world has given you great power.

    1. Negropolis

      "Beware of the Dark Side. Anger, Fear, Agression. The Dark Side of the Force are they."

  42. Sue4466

    I'm guessing they don't even know that Jesus is in the Quran as well. Fucktards make me feel bad for Jesus. He's got asshole fans, but that's not his fault.

    Oh, and for that guy at the end: what kind of god would tell you to harass someone else while they're praying just because it's to a different version of god than yours, you mouthbreathing jackass?

  43. undeterredbyreality

    Geez. Us.

    I managed to read all the comments without watching this thing, then, while scrolling back up I accidentally clicked it. This while listening to Chris Matthews talk about Huckabee saying Barack is from Kenya, raised in a madrass, with Mau Mau's and not like us. WTF has happened to us? Geez. Us. It's repubnant.

    "Let's talk dirty to the animals:
    Fuck you, Mr. Pig."

    Why that song came to mind I'm not sure, but there's gotta be a connection.

    Geez. Us. Geez. Us.

    We're so fucked.

  44. imissopus

    Actually, it's moments like this when I miss Neilist. He'd have had some rant along the lines of "Oh sure, crosses! What are they, liberal pinko scum? Now if you want to take out your average raghead, you should toss an XJMKI572 shrapnel grenade – the kind that sprays sharp nails and glass for a 200-yard radius – at his feet. Kind of like those crazy terrorists threw at Benazhir Bhutto's limousine. And let me tell you, she is STILL DEAD."

  45. Negropolis

    Stay classy, motherfuckers; stay classy.

    Disgusting. Jesus must be rolling over in his grave right about now.

  46. Negropolis

    Hey, at least that weren't pelting him with bacon, amirite? Keep on the sunnyside of life!

  47. comrad_darkness

    Fox New will be featuring this video every half hour for the next 24 hours right?

    Ha ha ha, I slay me.

  48. ttommyunger

    Did not watch this video. Don't have High Blood Pressure, don't want it. I've seen this kind of shit before, was not idle then, would not be idle at this scene, were I there. I am not presently incarcerated, so you know for a fact I was not there. I really hate this part of my Country, you know, the ignorant, bigoted part.

  49. Lost_Teabaggers

    There's no better way for Christians to prove Islam is a violent faith while their's is a peaceful one than by menacingly surrounding a lone Muslim, shouting anti-Islam slogans, making violent threats and pelting him with shit. You stay classy, Christians

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