Famous Slug Dick Morris Would Like You To Know Some Things

Dick Morris is impressive not because he incarnates everything disgusting and amoral about American politics (though he does do that), but because he’s proved once and for all that even a common slug can have a successful career in human political consulting. Even more impressive: he’s written tons of books, including his new call-to-arms, Revolt! How to Defeat Obama and Repeal His Socialist Programs: A Patriot’s Guide, co-written with his wife Eileen McGann (who apparently stuck around). It’s full of useful advice for the GOP, and you know what that means: toe-sucks galore!

It never ceases to amaze your reviewer how people manage to keep these policy proposal books going over the space of hundreds of pages. Most of them (Newt Gingrich is a master of the genre) secretly yearn to be bullet point presentations. Dick’s book could have gotten all of his points across in about 15 pages of bullet points, instead of the ten billion pages (we think; we’ll confirm the page number later) it takes to get through this beastly thing.

Dick wants the American people to oust popularly-elected socialist Baron Barack von Obama in 2012. He also wants you to know all about his Important Thoughts About Everything.

Dick on sexism:

Nobody has been as universally---or as unfairly---savaged by the mainstream media as Sarah Palin. Her baptism of fire stands as the greatest example of sexist bias in the history of modern so-called journalism.

Nevertheless, Dick isn’t sure that Sarah Palin is the woman to save the nation in 2012:

Palin did herself no favors when she abruptly resigned as governor of Alaska. She looked like a quitter. And she never adequately explained her decision.

He’s not sure about Mike Huckabee either, even though “a better, kinder, nice man never walked the earth” and Huckabee’s “entire record of courageous leadership is totally overlooked by the secular, anticlerical, leftist media.”

 
 Just who is Dick’s choice to topple Obama and restore our national dignity? As he writes, in an abrupt and distressing shift to the third person, “Newt is Dick’s personal favorite.”

What else can a reader pull out of this bag of Dick?

Dick on the regal Sean Hannity:

Unlike a lot of on-air commentators, Sean doesn’t need to examine talking points or feeds from the national party to know where true conservatism points. He just looks within himself. His own values system is so attuned to the political compass of our time that he doesn’t need to reason out his position. It springs from within him...

He did not compromise or equivocate in the face of the national lurch to the left in 2008. From the moment the ballots were counted, he called himself the leader of “the conservative opposition in exile” and, like the fallen monarch of a nation the Nazis had overrun, waited patiently until the moment for his return arrived.

People will actually pay money for this book.

  Revolt! How to Defeat Obama and Repeal His Socialist Programs: A Patriot’s Guide   by Dick Morris and Eileen McGann, Broadside Books, 352 pages, $14.20 

 Thanks to Wonkette operative “Itz Mei”