CALIFORNIA DREAMS  4:54 pm March 2, 2011

Yes, Wisconsin Now Has Palm Trees

by Jack Stuef


How are all these Fox News reporters still alive considering they’re constantly being beaten to a bloody pulp by Wisconsin protestors’ surf boards? Be careful out there, you guys. Wear sunscreen. [YouTube]

 
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{ 210 comments }

trifecta55 March 2, 2011 at 4:55 pm

Palm tree goes in, palm tree goes out. You can't explain that!

fredbell March 2, 2011 at 4:56 pm

This really reflects poorly of Fox News. They will lose credibility because of this.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] March 2, 2011 at 5:08 pm

Ha! Good one.

OC_Surf_Serf March 2, 2011 at 7:47 pm

…vampires have no reflection

ifthethunderdontgetya March 2, 2011 at 8:16 pm

fredbell: 9 comments, 113 pee-ness.

You are my guru, fredbell. Lead us all to paradise!

(Please, I don't wanna get too demandy and such as.)
~

Dashboard_Jesus March 3, 2011 at 12:06 am

my thoughts exactly, who is this 'fredbell'? he is like a god to me!

KenLayIsAlive March 3, 2011 at 1:31 am

Coming from Jesus, this is very high praise indeed.

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 2:55 am

Where's my 101 virgins. Wait, that's 101 dalmatians. Nevermind.

dyedwool March 2, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Either that, or Shepard Smith.

dyedwool March 2, 2011 at 10:23 pm

This is good news for John McCain, of course. DUH. (For the UMPTEENTH time, without even looking at the rest of the comments, my guess at the number is a GIMME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

LionelHutzEsq March 3, 2011 at 12:54 am

Don't worry. I think they just won a Peabody.

Redhead March 3, 2011 at 7:38 am

Well it's good they never inflate the numbers of people at marches and rallies in DC either. If they did both, that would just really wipe out their credibility.

bumfug March 2, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Really? Fox News lies? *YAWN* I guess it was just in homage to Mike Huckabee on his departure.

user-of-owls March 2, 2011 at 4:56 pm

I thought much the same thing as I strolled among Arkansas' famed Giant Sequoia forests this morning.

chickensmack March 2, 2011 at 5:36 pm

There ARE no Giant Sequoias in Arkansas, you lying ass. They were all felled by the naturally occurring (non-man-made) earthquakes.

LionelHutzEsq March 2, 2011 at 6:04 pm

I thought Huckabee and brood ate them.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Or sold them to Georgia Pacific to harvest.

user-of-owls March 2, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Owls eat chickens.

PsycWench March 2, 2011 at 7:40 pm

I've known that ever since I frolicked as a child in the snow that heavily blankets the North Carolina coast for months in the winter.

starfanglednut March 2, 2011 at 8:02 pm

I agree. I often think so as I sit beneath Boston's palm trees.

dyedwool March 2, 2011 at 8:22 pm

As everyone knows (because St. Ronnie Reagan told us so)…The Mighty Sequoias of Arkansas and other murderers like them brought about their own destruction, PLUS the Global Warming that is NOT happening. Which is why they had to be and continue to have to be chopped down pre-emptively. Jeeze.

jim89048 March 2, 2011 at 8:30 pm

If you've seen one palm tree in Wisconsin, you've seen them all. Probably.

user-of-owls March 2, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Oh great, now I'll have nightmares about that wicked light-bulb head James Watt. Thanks for nuttin'

Lascauxcaveman March 3, 2011 at 1:00 am

Oh, come on you stupid jerks, haven't you ever heard how people from around those parts pronounce it? "Westconsin?"

Probably down by Palm Springs or something…

Dashboard_Jesus March 3, 2011 at 12:09 am

wow you live in R-Kansas? and yet yer so literate an' all

Dashboard_Jesus March 3, 2011 at 12:10 am

wow y'all live in R-kansas, and yet yer so literate and all?

BlueMonkeh March 2, 2011 at 4:57 pm

I'm shocked. SHOCKED!!!!

nounverb911 March 2, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Fox was showing the crowd trying to get into O'Reilly's felafel stand.

KenLayIsAlive March 3, 2011 at 1:34 am

"What about felafel? You can't explain that."

facehead March 2, 2011 at 4:59 pm

I'm surprised they didn't show the footage of Geraldo getting hit with a chair.

AngryBlakGuy March 2, 2011 at 7:25 pm

…better yet, old school Jerry Springer footage!

dyedwool March 2, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Or even better…all the AMAZING crap he found in Al Capone's vault!!!111!!!

Monsieur_Grumpe March 2, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Jeez. They're not even trying anymore.

Dashboard_Jesus March 3, 2011 at 12:11 am

phoning it in, LITERALLY!

trampndirtdown March 3, 2011 at 12:38 am

They may not be trying but I think they might be winning..fight on Wisconsin.

user-of-owls March 2, 2011 at 5:00 pm

It would take a long time for me to fabricate out of whole cloth a plausible lie explain…

CapnFatback March 2, 2011 at 6:19 pm

"Who bussed them in?"
"Um . . . who do you think brought them in, Bill?"
"Other unions in symapathy?"
"Um . . . sure!"

nounverb911 March 2, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Fox forgot the camel mounted police.

AngryBlakGuy March 2, 2011 at 7:26 pm

…camels never get old!

JackDempsey1 March 2, 2011 at 5:02 pm

I wish all brats could be from Sheboygan grills.

SorosBot March 2, 2011 at 5:03 pm

It's sort of like the great soaring mountains of Smallville, Kansas. Has Fox given up on even pretending it's non-fiction anymore?

missemish March 2, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Well, I am going mountain climbing in Iowa this weekend. Meanwhile, in Canada: Canada's Radio Act requires that "a licenser may not broadcast … any false or misleading news." The provision has kept Fox News and right-wing talk radio out of Canada. (via: http://bit.ly/gc60eR)

Natl_Indecency_Cmdr March 2, 2011 at 5:25 pm

canada just keeps looking better and better.

dizzeeboy March 2, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Springtime in Montreal means longer days and shorter skirts!!

FlyOverGirl March 2, 2011 at 5:54 pm

God, we wasted priorities during the 111th.

Health care, meh.

Dashboard_Jesus March 3, 2011 at 12:13 am

Oh Canada, I LUVS you! (and Toronto is pretty awesome place to be at least 8 months of the year!)

comrad_darkness March 3, 2011 at 9:19 am

Their current right-wing Bush III government is trying desperately to overturn that law.

missemish March 3, 2011 at 9:22 am

Yeahhh. They call him "George W. Bush's Mini Me." Sadly, I'm sure he takes it as a compliment. That bastard has one smug face.

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Also, pig-like. Also.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] March 2, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Fucking global warming, man.

Oh, wait, Fox doesn't believe in that do they? Hmm, give me a minute here, I'm sure I can come up with something

nounverb911 March 2, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Didn't I see Andrea Makris in the crowd?

DerrickWildcat March 2, 2011 at 5:04 pm

On second thought…well actually it was my first thought, this is rife with monumental comedic possibilities.

You see, technically, that footage was never labeled that it took place in Madison. They just showed that footage while talking about Madison. They could have shown footage of the Black Panthers, Malcom X, Tree Rollins punching Danny Ainge…you know, stuff that gets the drooler's 80 year old blood boiling…all while talking about Unions in Wisconsin.

Jon Stewart: You know what to do.

genxr March 2, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Throw in a WWI infantry charge and Monty Python's roving gang of grannies.

Cicada March 2, 2011 at 5:05 pm

I wondered why the Wisconsin protesters were waving pictures of Ayatollah Khomeini and burning the American flag.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] March 2, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Yeah, that made me suspicious too. All the liberals and union members I know wave pictures of Hugo Chavez and Raul Castro during our weekly flag burning/bake sale.

genxr March 2, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Oh, you mean the Judean Liberal Front. I thought you meant the Popular Liberal Front.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] March 2, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Splitters!

AngryBlakGuy March 2, 2011 at 7:29 pm

…yeah, that and the burning epigraphy of Ronald Reagan were a dead give away!

trampndirtdown March 3, 2011 at 12:47 am

Oh I don't know burning Reagan in effigy doesn't sound like a bad idea to me.

GOPCrusher March 3, 2011 at 12:45 pm

You must not have watched That 70's Show. Fez was a militant Iranian exchange student.

gvvt March 3, 2011 at 9:31 pm

We were all bussed in from the Peoples' Republic of Vermont.

refudiatedness March 2, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Elvis gets hit in the face by Jackie Robinson at 0:23.

sezme March 2, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Wisconsin is a very dangerous state. I was almost eaten by a shark in Lake Michigan one time.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Be careful of those lionfish, stonefish, and moray eels when you are scuba diving on the Great Green Bay-rier Reef!

Tundra Grifter March 2, 2011 at 5:18 pm

According to Ole Newt isn't that Lakke Michigan?

OneDollarJuana March 2, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Hey, Seattle has palm trees. Why not Wisconsin? Same latitude, for goodness sakes.

nounverb911 March 2, 2011 at 5:13 pm

Yes, but do Wisconsonites recycle Chihuly's like they do in Seattle?

Extemporanus March 2, 2011 at 5:31 pm
ShaveTheWhales March 2, 2011 at 10:06 pm

There's also a big one in the entrance hall* to the Milwaukee Art Museum.

*"Entrance hall" is not the right term, and it's a bit of an understatement, since it cost something like $75M. It was donated by a fella named Quadracci (as in Quad Graphics), one of my favorite examples of a non-evil entrepreneur.

Extemporanus March 3, 2011 at 7:17 am

Having lived near a Quad Graphics in Milwaukee as a kid, and flown to a Quad Graphics in Milwaukee to do press checks as an adult, I totally agree: Quad Graphics is good people.

But Chilhuly fucking sucks.

emmelemm March 2, 2011 at 5:33 pm

We do?

Doktor Avalanche March 2, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Latitudes: you cannot explain them! Don't even try!

jim89048 March 2, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Though some Parrothead did try to write a song about them.

finallyhappy March 2, 2011 at 9:03 pm

I had a great one at Starbucks today- with a shot of palm oil

weejee March 3, 2011 at 9:30 am

So true the latitudes clearly lie worse than Faux News.

How can it be that the northernmostest tippy tip of Wihzconsin is 47º 30' which is 2 whole minutes further north than the northernmostest tippy tip of Maine. It is obvs to anyone who looked at the map hanging on the wall in their 3rd grade classroom that Maine is much furtherest north state 'ceptin' Alaska. Good grief Charlie Geographers are you tellin' me that where I live in the Central District of C'Addle, which is 47º 37', that my house is a whoppin 7 whole minutes further north than the northern tip of Wisconsin, much less that tropical paradise known as Maine?

dyedwool March 2, 2011 at 9:21 pm

Easy there, Greedy Cheesy. Can Wisconsin give us salmon? Bill Gates?

Whether or not we want him/them is really beside the point. ANSWER THE QUESTION.

ShaveTheWhales March 2, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Sturgeon? Golda Meir?

GOPCrusher March 3, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Manitowoc in October=great salmon fishing.

nounverb911 March 2, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Fox is treading on thin ice here. Aren't their NY studio crews unionized? Isn't it time for the overhead lights in the studios to start raining down on O'Reilly and Beck?

user-of-owls March 2, 2011 at 5:17 pm

If wishes were leftists, Beck would be converted to poop-sausage. Or something like that.

V572625694 March 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm

"Woops, sorry about that, Megyn! Don't worry — your hair still looks great."

emmelemm March 2, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Well, cognitive dissonance = all-time high. How else to explain the "Get gov't outta my Medicare" meme?

"Filthy blood-sucking unions!! Oh wait, I'm in a union? Whaaaaa…"

outragedcitizen March 3, 2011 at 10:47 am

Way past time actually.

CrankyLttlCamperette March 2, 2011 at 5:07 pm

It looks so warm and sunny there! I'm moving to Wisconsin!!!

harry_palmer March 2, 2011 at 5:08 pm

I'd like to say they got their asses kicked by the truth, but it's the other way around.

SheriffRoscoe March 2, 2011 at 5:08 pm

BREAKING: Panty wearing union thug slaps the shit out of FOX NEWS correspondent John Stossel…… while standing in the Wisconsin State House.**

**may or may not be true

Natl_Indecency_Cmdr March 2, 2011 at 5:28 pm

ah, good times.

SexySmurf March 2, 2011 at 5:45 pm

I'm pretty sure that was the high point of John Stossel's career.

petehammer March 2, 2011 at 5:50 pm

I don't think I can ever get enough of JS being beaten up. What a corporate tool.

XOhioan March 2, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Thanks, watching that never gets old.

mayor_quimby March 2, 2011 at 8:32 pm

I have never seen that before!! But my dinner will taste so much better now just knowing that SOMEONE SOMEWHERE has slapped the shit out of Stossel at some point in his life.
Thank you, and many +Pee Coletrains to you

Dashboard_Jesus March 3, 2011 at 12:20 am

fuck I love that video, haven't seen it in years but STILL warms my heart to see Stossel get the shit LITERALLY slapped out o' him!

Zvi_Bleindmeis March 2, 2011 at 5:10 pm

To steal one of Garrison Keillor's jokes, how can you tell if a Wisconsin union-supporter is aggressive?

He looks at your shoes while he's talking.

imissopus March 2, 2011 at 5:11 pm

So this is where little Meggy McCain got that talking point in her Daily Beast "column" the other day about union workers rioting in California. All her research consisted of watching Fox News for five minutes and getting pissed off. Then I guess she went back to begging someone, anyone, to please have sex with her already.

nounverb911 March 2, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Can't she just pay someone like the rest of the republicans do?

WIDTAP March 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Except even that clip was not from a union rally. It was an anti TEA Party rally in California, so….

bumfug March 2, 2011 at 5:44 pm

I'd let her blow me just so I wouldn't have to hear her talk.

Steverino247 March 2, 2011 at 7:51 pm

(one more time!) The worst thing about being an atheist is there's no one to talk to while getting blown.

user-of-owls March 2, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Also, where do I apply for one of those "professional left-winger" jobs? What's it pay?

From each according to his ability, to each according to his screed. It's pretty much like every other socialist enterprise, like for example the tip jar.

facehead March 2, 2011 at 5:13 pm

All of this raises the obvious question: which group of professional left-wingers is bussing in these palm trees?

BarackMyWorld March 2, 2011 at 5:14 pm

A unionized public employee, a teabagger, and a CEO are sitting at a table. In the middle of the table is a plate with a dozen cookies on it. The CEO reaches across and takes 11 cookies, looks at the teabagger and says, "Watch out for that union guy. He wants a piece of your cookie."

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] March 2, 2011 at 5:23 pm

A unionized public employee, a teabagger, and a CEO are sitting at a table. In the middle of the table is a plate with a dozen cookies coconuts on it. The CEO reaches across and takes 11 cookies coconuts, looks at the teabagger and says, "Watch out for that union guy. He wants a piece of your cookie coconut."

Fixed for palm relevance.

DashboardBuddha March 2, 2011 at 6:41 pm

that is perfect…did you make that up?

finallyhappy March 2, 2011 at 9:05 pm

no, it has been published elsewhere earlier

DashboardBuddha March 2, 2011 at 9:39 pm

It's still perfect

glamourdammerung March 2, 2011 at 6:56 pm

It would make more sense if the union person was not present and the 12th cookie was actually lead paint and feces being sold at a "fair market" value to the trusting teabagger.

comrad_darkness March 3, 2011 at 9:22 am

It would make more sense if the union person was not present and the 12th cookie was actually lead paint and feces being sold at a "fair market" value to the trusting brainwashed, corn syrup addled teabagger.

/fixed

__kth__ March 2, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Mediaite.com says that Fox wasn't pulling a fast one here. Which tells you all you need to know…about Mediaite.com.

Dashboard_Jesus March 3, 2011 at 12:39 am

…and who the fuck came up with the name 'Mediaite' anyway? that's the stoopidest fucking name for a web site maybe ever

widestanceroman March 2, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Since Wisconsin does occasionally border Egypt in FOX World, they probably migrated illegally so they can produce anchor/terrorist baby palms.

Jason_inthe_Peg March 2, 2011 at 5:17 pm

You see it's just like that time that Jesus rode that ass under the palms to go speak truth to the money lenders.

Fox Reporters=Jesus
Union=money lenders.
Fox news=ass

Can I please have a million dollar gig at Fox news now?

Dashboard_Jesus March 3, 2011 at 12:43 am

gotta admit I liked the palm fronds and the adoring crowds and all, but if I had a CLUE what was gonna happen next I woulda rode my ass outta town faster than you can say 'crucifixion'!

An_Outhouse March 2, 2011 at 5:17 pm

What I want to know is how Faux gets any footage that DOESN'T show the public beating the living shit out of their spokes models and camera people.

facehead March 2, 2011 at 5:22 pm

There's a lot of win on this thread, but you've just won most of it.

PublicLuxury March 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Date Palms do OK in Madison but fail in other parts of the state. Sago Palms, not such a great choice. They are much too tempermental for the climate.

Nothing like beer and brats under a palm tree.

SorosBot March 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm

You know, I was wondering why those union rioters all had really long hair and were demanding that we pull out of Vietnam.

bflrtsplk March 2, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Wisconsin moved to Vietnam. Fox News has a map that says so.

An_Outhouse March 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm

a couple of pee points

fartknocker March 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Well Wisconsin legislators, you have shit in your mess kit. I hope everyone one of the kalostomy bags gets recalled:
http://thinkprogress.org/2011/03/02/wisconsin-rec

I'll be sending that PAC a check.

Dudleydidwrong March 2, 2011 at 9:57 pm

That's great news. Recall at least three of the fucking moron senators who support the gov and the Dems are back in power. Then gov Dipshit may have a different face on when he climbs down from his palm tree, coconuts in hand, twirling his tail.

GOPCrusher March 3, 2011 at 1:06 pm

The clock is ticking for Scott Walker's recall. I just don't think that these people are smart enough to understand the sleeping giant that they awoke.

Jason_inthe_Peg March 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm

You see it's just like that time that Jesus rode that ass under the palms to go speak truth to the money lenders.

Tundra Grifter March 2, 2011 at 5:21 pm

I love the "bussed in" remarks. Remember The TeaBagger Express? Those rallies in DC? Geez – no out of town folks at those events, were there?

Oh. There were? Nevermind…

SorosBot March 2, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Well wen the Republicans do it it's just perfectly fine.

Pithaughn March 2, 2011 at 11:13 pm

But if the Florida GOP busses in young thugs in starched shirts to terrorize county election judges, well, that's just good ole merican hard ball politics.

mull_man March 2, 2011 at 5:21 pm

My left wing tip looks very professional today; sadly, not so my right wing tip.

They're 7 year old Alden's, size 10D. And either of them make excellent projectiles.

PublicLuxury March 2, 2011 at 5:22 pm

How is Meghan McCain reporting the event? She has such superior insight. She should run for president. Maybe a McCain/McCain ticket, Daddy can take the backseat role.

FlyOverGirl March 2, 2011 at 5:57 pm

That's what she said.

Extemporanus March 2, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Wisconsin has had palm trees for decades, you guys, and anyone who's ever checked out Milwaukee's gigantic glass titties will totally back me up on this.

Rotundo_ March 2, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Yup. even though it's gonna hit the low 20's tonight, Palm trees grow to 70-80 feet in height in some parts of the dairy state. If you ever want to smell what heaven on earth smells like, the desert dome of the conservatory first thing on opening, before the over-cologned and stogie smoked unwashed enter is as close as I can say I have. The tropical one smells like decaying wood with some help from negative ions from the watering system and the waterfall in it., and the seasonal can be a surprise (good or bad) depending on what they have out (easter lillies and some others can be a wee bit powerful for some). Theys awl purty tho.

ShaveTheWhales March 2, 2011 at 10:16 pm

Mitchell Park (right?) was a great place to go in mid-fucking-winter, for a little change of pace.

Extemporanus March 3, 2011 at 6:25 am

Right you are: Mitchell Park Conservatory, more commonly known as "The Domes".

Extemporanus March 3, 2011 at 6:24 am

Thanks for the on-the-nose walk down memory lane, Rotundo.

Back in the ass-end of the 80s, I had my high school "Senior Dinner Dance" (sorta like prom, but minus all the hawt Sophomore and Junior chicks) at the Domes. I was in charge of the planning committee, and in addition to selecting the location, I arranged for the caterers to serve grub evocative of the flora and climate in each XXX cup-sized geodesic jug: Mexican in the desert dome; Polynesian in the tropical dome; Italian in the carnation, rose, and topiary-choked seasonal dome-cum-vomitorium.

And if I'm not mistaken, we hired the always-in demand "Music in Motion" to drop a variety of fresh and timely vinyl dance beats in the marble-floored, low-ceilinged, acoustic hell of an underlit lobby.

It was, to be entirely honest, pretty goddamn fucking awesome:

I arrived in a Porsche 924 that one of my Indian best friends ("dot-dot", not "pow-wow") "borrowed" from his uncle; I was relentlessly pursued from climate to climate all night by the in-the-closet pitcher of our girls softball team as she made one last ditch, desperate attempt to rebuff her love of muff; a couple dozen of us ended up at the Chalet Motel in Mequon, which we had to hysterically flee shortly thereafter when the po-po crashed our party and jacked our stash of Bartles & James two-liters; we ended up at the beach just down from the "Witch's House" in Fox Point; my two dates and I had dry sex in a lifeguard chair until dawn; I got both blue balls and grounded for a month; et cetera, et cetera, et cetera…

Well, anyhoo…umm, what were we talking about again? Oh yeah! The Domes!

Theys all really is purty!

finallyhappy March 2, 2011 at 9:07 pm

And Birnam wood came to Dunsinane? sorry, the spelling may be off although really who knows what Shakespeare wrote

trampndirtdown March 3, 2011 at 1:08 am

Gads i keep learning new and wonderful things about America's great ventricle clogging dairyland ITT.

Jerri March 2, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Goddamnit FOX. Way to let the cat out of the bag.

In related news, Jerri's Tropical Palm Oasis and Cheese Museum Resort hopes to break ground soon (…as soon as it thaws). Book your packages now, Snowbirds!

Rotundo_ March 2, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Some aged brick cheese and some limburger (drop by Monroe for that) will thaw the ground early, but the neighbors may have some issues with it. Gouda Luck!

Doktor Avalanche March 2, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Wisconsin is a big state what with Lake Michigan on one side, mountains to the north, and beaches to the south. That's why there are so many cushy union gigs there, it's a slackers paradise.

Edit: I really should have read some of the other comments before shooting off my fingers. Apologies for biting on the WI / tropical meme.

Radiotherapy March 2, 2011 at 5:47 pm

And those teachers parrttaaayyy all summer long on those palm tree lined beaches. Fucking commie free-loaders.

Doktor Avalanche March 2, 2011 at 8:19 pm

I thought the link was for a soundtrack to your comment until I noticed all those partiers are G-D teachers!

Rotundo_ March 2, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Dont forget the curls on Michigan-2 to 3 foot peaks, 50 degree water. And people surf it, as God is my witness.

Doktor Avalanche March 2, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Now this is true. I grew up in MI and Superior, it's said, never gives up her dead.

fuflans March 2, 2011 at 10:14 pm

annnnddd i have that in my head for the next two days.

DoktorZoom March 3, 2011 at 1:15 am

The Wipeout of the Edmund Fitzgerald

ShaveTheWhales March 2, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Don't forget the sand dunes. Just like Egypt (well…).

BaldarTFlagass March 3, 2011 at 7:02 am

Well, I gave you an upfist just for the "shooting off my fingers" line.

GOPCrusher March 3, 2011 at 1:46 pm

TRUE STORY: The Beach Boys song "Kokomo" is about Indiana.

Troubledog March 2, 2011 at 5:28 pm

The unions are using taxpayer money to grow palm trees in Wisconsin. Obviously to make their Muslim Brotherhood contingent feel more comfortable.

This is the last straw. Finally my eyes are opened.

KenLayIsAlive March 3, 2011 at 1:43 am

We're through the looking glass here, people.

GOPCrusher March 3, 2011 at 1:48 pm

How can you have a Caliphate without palm trees?

Troubledog March 3, 2011 at 11:50 pm

Yet another example of Obama's appeasement. He's not even bothering to hide it anymore. It's like when he sent that bust of Winston Churchill back to the place that Tony Blair stole it from. The arrogance of that man, and his Kenyan colonial world view.

Natl_Indecency_Cmdr March 2, 2011 at 5:30 pm

sadly, the funding for the palm trees in madison was cut in the recent budget bill.

Extemporanus March 2, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Fret not, my frozen, frond-less friend…

Calf Creole and the Cowcownuts are headlining a benefit show this Sunday at Der Rathskeller!

tabouley March 2, 2011 at 5:32 pm

First palm trees, next it will be killer bees attacking. And they say this globull warmin' is nonsense!

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2011 at 6:11 pm

If a million and a half old people show up in Wisconsin in October or November with RVs towing Jeep Cherokees and stay for 5 or 6 months, then I'm really gonna start worrying.

SorosBot March 2, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Fox has released this video that they say shows one of their reporters being attacked by union thugs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1KT1QoSCT8

KenLayIsAlive March 3, 2011 at 1:49 am

I think the constitution needs an irony clause, which would allow us to put all the skinheads in concentration camps.

OneYieldRegular March 2, 2011 at 5:36 pm

So not only are they ahistorical – ignoring the horrifically violent, murderous history of labor repression in this country by corporate thugs abetted by local, state and even the federal governments – they're now geographically challenged as well. Listen – I'm holding up my end of the bargain – I'm deciding – but when is FOX going to be doing the reporting?

mavenmaven March 2, 2011 at 5:39 pm

great palm trees from little ACORNs grow
that is what all FOX viewers know

CrunchyKnee March 2, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Everyone knows that palm trees were indigenous to Wisconsin until the righteous Europers "liberated" it from those godless heathens!!!111!

MinAgain March 2, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Palm trees, huh? Is there any way we can blame this on Sharia Law? If so, I've got a legislator in my state who'd be happy to call it treason.

mourningnmerica March 2, 2011 at 5:44 pm

One of the protesters should go to the Safeway, buy a coconut, and return to the protest with a large stepladder, and wait for Fox to start reporting live from the scene…

Numbat_Dundee March 2, 2011 at 5:51 pm

It's global warming. Rupert said he belives in it and O'Reilly is finally getting the new line.

Snarke_Diem March 2, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Wisconsin has palm trees now! Good god – we have a hard enough time up here in Berkeley keeping them alive. How do they do it? Must be God himself making them grow. A miracle!

WhatTheHeck March 2, 2011 at 5:56 pm

If you look closer, you will see some Union people holding what looks like, Union copies of the Koran in their Union hands.

Fox News

JoeBiteme March 2, 2011 at 5:58 pm

They report, we decide, right? Fair and balanced, etc etc. I suggest we not rush to a hasty judgement by believing our lying eyes…

Radiotherapy March 2, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Who's the genius now? By Gov. Walker cutting corporate and business taxes, business is flocking to Wisconsin. The hospitality trade is booming. Landscaping companies are begging for help. A Wings® on every corner.

fuflans March 2, 2011 at 6:00 pm

it's all fun and games until joe the plumber shows up.

SheriffRoscoe March 2, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Cut FOX some slack libtards. It's not like this sort of thing has ever happened before.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2011 at 6:15 pm

That was so sincere.

JoshuaNorton March 2, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Get your liberal facts off my lawn!

donner_froh March 2, 2011 at 6:16 pm

If the camera had pulled back and panned to the right Fox could have framed all the union thugs with the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid of Cheops. Another great opportunity missed.

LionelHutzEsq March 2, 2011 at 6:17 pm

In fairness to FOX News reporters in the hell that is downtown Beirut Madison, I assume we all remember how in-their-face they got with the 'baggers when they protested about the government getting its hands on their medicare. They were constantly shouting at them, and challenging them for proof that Obama was born in Kenya, or that he once dressed like a witch doctor, or grew watermelons on the socialized front lawn of the White House, or was trying to socialize medicine by basically adopting the Republican plan from 1994. .

LionelHutzEsq March 2, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Undoubtedly, the palm trees are just part of Obama setting up his Islamic Caliphate.

It is one of those days where everything on FOX News seems to be proving Glenn Beck right.

[This message has been approved for posting by Roger Ailes.]

Gleem_McShineys March 2, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Fake video goes up, fake video goes down. How'd that fake video get dere? YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT.

Fox n Fiends March 2, 2011 at 6:41 pm

That video needs way more Arabs in it.

owhatever March 2, 2011 at 7:09 pm

I hope the union thugs are exercising their constitutional right to carry firearms. The Fox reporters seem awfully threatening, and a union thug has a right to protect himself.

gef05 March 2, 2011 at 7:23 pm

What makes me laugh is the insight this provides.

The producers at Fox obviously believe their average viewer to be just as fucking stupid as the rest of us believe them to be.

Steverino247 March 2, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Palm trees and Creeping Sharia do not do well in the Wisconsin climate. For example, the Creeping Sharia wouldn't bloom until so late in the season, the Allahuahkbar Beetles who fertillize them would be migrating to Detroit already. (Send all bombs to your own embassies, thanks!)

x111e7thst March 2, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Punks report from Mogadishu – real men report from Madison.

Ugh March 2, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Wow. My new name broke IntenseDebate and I couldn't comment for like a week. It did not like the quote-mark in John quote-Idiot-quote Kaisch. I was logged in but no matter where I tried I could not get it to show up here.

As soon as I changed it to something else Wonkette suddenly realized I was logged into IntenseDebate.

I even went to Breitbart.tv to see if it worked there, cuz I thought I might have been banned. I think I need to file an emotional distress lawsuit against IntenseDebate Corporation now.

Oh, and I tried Internet Explorer 9 on Windows 7 too. So between visiting Breitbart and using Microsoft products, I've missed Wonkett.

doxastic March 2, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Only Fox could make Wisconsin a godforsaken land of bloodthirsty gorgons

SudsMcKenzie March 3, 2011 at 12:33 am

… and Bears fans.

DoktorZoom March 2, 2011 at 9:05 pm

Mediaite (Could someone think of a worse name for a media-oriented website?) explains: At the top of the piece, he rolled footage of a number of the “union thug” videos that have become so popular on Right Wing news sites in the past few weeks. O’Reilly clearly identified the videos as collectively coming from “all over the country.” As many shows do, this B-roll footage was replayed again during the rest of the segment, including during an interview with Mike Tobin, Fox News’ reporter who’s been on the ground in Wisconsin.

Here’s where the problem occurred. Tobin was discussing Wisconsin (since that where he’s been) while the general footage played in the background. Taken out of context, these few seconds would seem deceptive. But, if you’d already seen the full segment, you’d recognize what the footage was (besides, this same clip has aired on other Fox News programs like Glenn Beck and been identified as coming from California). Further, the protest footage from Wisconsin is clearly labeled “Madison” as well as date and time stamped, while the “palm tree footage” is labeled “Union Protests.”

So let's be clear–Fox wasn't actually claiming that the scenes were in Madison. They were just really lazy and sloppy in their use of video. So, hey, not lying–just shitty reporting, which with Fox, is pretty much the norm.

Lascauxcaveman March 3, 2011 at 2:05 am

No, no, that's quite a bit better than the norm. The norm is actual baldfaced lying.

BaldarTFlagass March 3, 2011 at 7:01 am

O’Reilly clearly identified the videos as collectively coming from “all over the country.”

All over the time-space continuum, too.

user-of-owls March 3, 2011 at 8:09 am

I knew that I saw Eugene Debs in there! Also, I thought including the Odessa Steps scene from Battleship Potemkin was a deft touch.

genxr March 3, 2011 at 9:05 am

So we could dig up some footage from the 1960s showing police using dogs and firehouses while we talk about the tea party, as long as we label the footage, "White Southerners."

GOPCrusher March 3, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Needz moar battle scenes from Breaker Morant.

chimpinatophat March 2, 2011 at 9:06 pm

Actually, the brave souls at Fox News are completely right. Wisconsin doesn't want outsiders with their lactose intolerance and non-Packers football jerseys moving here, so we greatly exaggerate the extent of our winters. The long-sleeved shirt, wool sweater and scarf I am currently wearing are an illusion achieved with smoke and mirrors; I am in fact actually wearing a bikini.

HistoriCat March 2, 2011 at 10:26 pm

"I am in fact actually wearing a bikini."

Pics or GTFO

Natl_Indecency_Cmdr March 3, 2011 at 12:56 am

dammit! 2 hours late and $20 short. good on you, historicat.

also, chimpinatophat (ah, i remember you from my english papers in college) anyhoo, chimp! "The long-sleeved shirt, wool sweater and scarf I am currently wearing" put a hat on your head! it barely hit 20! what would your mother think?

gullywompr March 2, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Some US Americans don't have maps.

assistantatlas March 2, 2011 at 9:30 pm

The pay is that you can drink the blood of every rich capitalist that you kill.

undeterredbyreality March 2, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Another problem with that tape? Isn't that Tobin douche wearing a neck-brace under his shirt? For the bitch-slap he didn't get but really deserved?

BTWBFDIMHO March 2, 2011 at 10:30 pm

At least, they will admit global warming was not a hoax.

Blendergoathead March 2, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Wow. I finally saw the footage of that poor, defenseless Fox "reporter" getting shoulder-touch-death-raped by Santa Claus in Wisconsin.

If, dear sweet Jesus forbid, he doesn't survive this vicious attack – what kind of signs will the Fred Phelps people bring to his funeral?

EdFlintstone March 2, 2011 at 11:32 pm

I think the worst part was when the union protestors helped that white pimp and his ho get an abortion.

Natl_Indecency_Cmdr March 3, 2011 at 12:46 am

i always show up here too late. sorry. work to be done. but you all need to read this and i'm not kidding. it is just… it's just everything.

"That's why Gov. Walker is so scared of this community. Because he knows he's not up against a fleeting burst of anger. He's up against human nature at its best — and its strongest."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ben-brandzel/the-un

also, there is this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/ashleybaccam/a-very-impor

DoktorZoom March 3, 2011 at 1:11 am

Terrific article, even if it was in HuffPoo! Some "thugs," huh?

smokefilledroommate March 3, 2011 at 1:01 am

Mubarek bussed them in. Duh.

LionelHutzEsq March 3, 2011 at 1:05 am

Late to the party, I know, but here is the latest film of riots in Wisconsin from FOX News:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEJ3jyYYwjY

lulzmonger March 3, 2011 at 2:46 am

Actually FOX was going easy on those union thugs – they didn't even show the LIVE ACTION footage of them throwing all those poor Kuwaiti babies out of their incubators.

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 2:58 am

This looks kosher to me from my home in the Hiawatha National Desert here in Michigan.

Seriously, though, one of the strangest sights you'll see in the Great Lakes is driving by Domino's Farms in suburban Ann Arbor and seeing American Bison grazing next to the corporate headquarters.

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 3:03 am

"Jesus horses" are the best horses, after all.

smokefilledroommate March 3, 2011 at 3:12 am

Manufactured FEAR "news"= footage of shit not pertaining to the actual subject and a ticker with words like Zion, Jerusalem and 'Iranian Officials'. Works every time.

Come here a minute March 3, 2011 at 8:33 am

You seen one union thug, you seen em all. These classic videos absolutely show what is happening in Madison, regardless of what your lying eyes say. Too bad they left out the 1968 Democratic convention, an all-time favorite.

Dashboard_Jesus March 6, 2011 at 12:45 am

awww, I was jus kiddin' y'know…I luvs Ar-kansas, 'specially them Hawt Springs!

Lascauxcaveman March 3, 2011 at 1:25 am

Oh, great. Now I'm gonna have the Gordon Lightfoot version of "Pipeline" going through my head all night.

weejee March 3, 2011 at 9:17 am

He can drive you bats

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