THE SPECIAL PEOPLE  3:12 pm March 2, 2011

BREAKING: Someone’s Stopping Sarah Palin From Saying ‘God’ In Public

by Jack Stuef

God hates Trigs.Today, the Supreme Court ruled unanimously in favor of the right of Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church to protest soldiers’ funerals, because we have this principle in America called “free speech.” Or rather it would have been unanimous, if the Court didn’t have remarkable civil-liberties troll Samuel Alito sitting on it. In Alito’s dissent, he said the protest amounted to “fighting words.” We have no idea how that differs from “fightin’ words” as in “them’s fightin’ words,” which we always thought were legal, albeit not too bright for a fella like yous, but we assume it’s a meaningless term Sam Alito just made up so he could give the government more power over speech. Anyway, the important takeaway is that it is now legal to say “God Hates Fags” and “God Hates Soldiers” in public, but private citizen Sarah Palin is not allowed to say “God” at all.

We the Sarah.
Who is this “we” she’s talking about? All her Twitter accounts? Sarah Palin invokes God every five seconds she’s in the public. She can say anything about God she wants to, and she does. But she gets jealous when she hears other people talking about the god that loves her the most of all. God doesn’t hate gays. He hates people who don’t like Sarah Palin. [NYT/Twitter]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 255 comments }

donner_froh March 2, 2011 at 3:13 pm

What is this pubic square of which she twats?

nounverb911 March 2, 2011 at 3:20 pm

The one in Clarence Thomas' head.

weejee March 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Aren't they kinda like a carpenter's square? But instead of checking to see if yer sticks are set right, you use the public square to true out the grifter.

MrsBiggTime March 2, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Bristol had more of a public triangle, and when Levi saw it he said "Oh My GOD!" so does that count?

V572625694 March 2, 2011 at 4:01 pm

She means the mall, which of course isn't public at all. And by "invoking God's name" she's really dog-whistling "crucify muslins."

Ruhe March 2, 2011 at 4:51 pm

"Dog-whistling". Best euphemism/metaphor I've heard in weeks. Is that original?

V572625694 March 2, 2011 at 4:58 pm

The usage, perhaps, but not the metaphor itself. Not sure who coined that.

GOPCrusher March 2, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Xtine O'Donnell's hair pie.

BarryOPotter March 3, 2011 at 11:00 am

Mmmm, pie…

GunTotingProgressive March 2, 2011 at 3:13 pm

So, the whole "under God," "so help me God," "In God We Trust" thing is illegal?

DaRooster March 2, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Can we still say,"Gawd, these fucks is crazy?"

WhatTheHeck March 2, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Putting a god reference on our currency makes it legal. And only then.

DaRooster March 2, 2011 at 3:26 pm

God is the "Legal Tender" of his flock

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 2:41 am

Mmmmm….tender flock. Delicious.

SorosBot March 2, 2011 at 3:34 pm

There's a little thing called the First Amendment the government is kind of violating there.

MrsBiggTime March 2, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Old: In God We Trust
New: In God We Twat

outragedcitizen March 3, 2011 at 10:42 am

God, I hope so…

AngryBlakGuy March 2, 2011 at 3:15 pm

…where the fukk was he during the years of "free speech zones"?!

neiltheblaze March 2, 2011 at 7:27 pm

It's different for hippies. Everyone knows that.

Gratuitous World March 2, 2011 at 3:16 pm

as long as she makes this about herself my world isn't turned upside down.

In related news, SCOTUS unanimously upheld Sarah's 'persecution complex' in the landmark case Palins v. Earth.

Beowoof March 2, 2011 at 3:16 pm

You know some one needs to keep her from twating, every time she does it, she sounds stoned or retarded or both.

greengeekgirl March 2, 2011 at 3:17 pm

So, clearly, Palin doesn't want anybody but her and people she approves of to be able to invoke God's name, at the time and place she deems appropriate. Fitting.

Texan_Bulldog March 2, 2011 at 3:17 pm

She might not feel like she can say "god" but she doesn't seem to be restricted from using the other million words in the English language…repeatedly and very badly.

DangerHelvetica March 2, 2011 at 3:23 pm

And a few that aren't in any language as well.

FNMA March 2, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Also.

SaintRond March 2, 2011 at 3:17 pm

That cunt.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2011 at 6:34 pm

God damn that cunt.

Barbara_i March 2, 2011 at 3:18 pm

I feel sorry for Trig. It's got to suck to have a special needs mom.

GuyClinch March 2, 2011 at 3:29 pm

HAHAHA. Thanks Barb, I now have almond fragments stuck in BOTH nostrils. Gonna have to do some spelunking to get those out.

Barbara_i March 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Sorry! I hope you feel better quickly.

Beetagger March 2, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Best comment ever.

SanfordandSon11 March 2, 2011 at 4:54 pm

He is being punished for his last life. So no worries…

Thedongsofwar March 2, 2011 at 6:11 pm

lolz

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2011 at 6:37 pm

"Going back, at the track, at the wall… SSSEEYA!"

mereoblivion March 2, 2011 at 3:18 pm

My oldies station just announced they can't play "God Only Knows" because Fred Phelps told them that God hates the Beach Boys.

bumfug March 2, 2011 at 4:24 pm

The Beach Boys are gay????

bflrtsplk March 2, 2011 at 6:13 pm

They're Republicans.

LetUsBray March 2, 2011 at 10:46 pm

So they're gay for teen-agers.

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 2:43 am

Hey-O!

AngryE March 2, 2011 at 4:30 pm

I always thought the album Pet Sounds was about beastiallity..

OkieDokieDog March 2, 2011 at 3:18 pm

So does this mean that Alito is one of dem dere act-e-vist judges that Sarah and God hate?

DangerHelvetica March 2, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Dammit, WBC signs always make me want some sherbet.

Extemporanus March 2, 2011 at 3:35 pm

They make me want to light a spliff and put on some Marley.

Jah bless, mon!

SheriffRoscoe March 2, 2011 at 3:38 pm

They make me want to fondle some sort of round melon-ish fruit.

Barbara_i March 2, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Some "rainbow" sherbet? The gayest frozen confection of them all.

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 2:43 am

It always makes me think of the Superman ice cream as had as a small child in Detroit. Mmmm…ice cream….

horsedreamer_1 March 4, 2011 at 10:16 am

Still not as gay — nor as delicious — as spumoni, at least.

Zombie_Reagan March 2, 2011 at 3:18 pm

It's just Sarah Palin that can't say "God's name in [the] public square."

LouSarah is not affected by this ruling.

DaRooster March 2, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Tip:
Don't click the link in that story… her twit won't let you out!

yellowerdog March 2, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Was that 'twit' or 'twat'?

FNMA March 2, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Certainly, he meant twit. Her twat, by now, probably doesn't have much grip left.

DaRooster March 2, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Is that twat happened to Trig? Fell out too soon?

bumfug March 2, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Found out the hard way.

Extemporanus March 2, 2011 at 3:19 pm

My name is a killing word.

DashboardBuddha March 2, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Maude?

Extemporanus March 2, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Walter, do we have wormsign?

DerrickWildcat March 2, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Dang, I was hoping they'd ban the Westboro morons…then we could use the case as a precedent to ban Tea Bagger and Randall Terry morons.

Mumbletypeg March 2, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Now every time a Phelps freak whinges,
another counterprotest-angel will get fitted w/ megawings

bumfug March 2, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Then they could use the case against Wisconsin protesters and anybody else they want to fuck with. Precedent is a bitch.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 2, 2011 at 3:20 pm

GOD
HATES
SIGNS

nounverb911 March 2, 2011 at 3:23 pm

But what about a sign from God?

DaRooster March 2, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Like lightning? Tsunamis? Urfquakes in Arkansas?

SorosBot March 2, 2011 at 4:12 pm

That reminds me of the response to Phelps at Comic-Con last year:
http://www.comicsalliance.com/2010/07/22/super-he

My favorite was "ODIN IS GOD Read the Mighty Thor #5".

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 2, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Yeah, it wasn't an original idea of mine… not this time, damn it!

BarackMyWorld March 2, 2011 at 11:12 pm

God hates Signs? Yeah, that movie was terrible.

nounverb911 March 2, 2011 at 3:20 pm

The time has come for some good old fashioned wrath of God from Jeebus in the form of a localized earthquake and an F5 tornado. Better duck and cover Topeka.

ManchuCandidate March 2, 2011 at 3:20 pm

You logged onto the Facebook
Like you were walking into the White House
Your fake glasses are perched below your nose
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that you'd be their preznit
You'd be their preznit, and

You're so vain
You probably think this case is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this case is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Sarah: " Why yes, yes I do."

MrsBiggTime March 2, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Dude, you're like Weird Al, except nicer hair.

Gunner Asch March 2, 2011 at 10:06 pm

And Wonkette educates this rube once again. All these years I assumed she was saying "cavort". Of course, when my daughter and wife said something about Sex and the City I thought they were talking about Sesame Street. Too much time behind an M-60.

freakishlywrong March 2, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Oh my fucking Gawd.

SexySmurf March 2, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Oh my (Allah, Aqua Buddha, Oprah, Xenu), Sarah Palin is a stupid cunt.

SheriffRoscoe March 2, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Does Fred Phelps really have to draw those stick figures with hott bubble butts on his hate signs? Kind of just draws your eye right to it, amirite?

Texan_Bulldog March 2, 2011 at 3:26 pm

All I know is the dude on the left has a really high-up penis & bad aim.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Mr. No-Depth Perception!

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 2, 2011 at 3:28 pm

My eye was first drawn to the fanny pack and couldn't really move on from there.

Cicada March 2, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Fred Phelps clearly wants to bite into that hott muscular man-ass like a ripe summer peach.

Dudleydidwrong March 2, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Phelps should be dragged through one of them glory hole thingies, dick first.

JoshuaNorton March 2, 2011 at 3:22 pm

we can't invoke God's name in public square

Hey there, Miz Sarah. You might want to take a gander at Matthew 6:6 next time you're thumbing through the bible. If you don't like it, take it up with the original author.

chickensmack March 2, 2011 at 10:56 pm

She has the freedom of expression, so she's going to express all over your repressive ass!

4TheTurnstiles March 2, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Hi Sarah,

No one gives a shit about your cult. Jesus said not to make a show of our godliness so quit praying for attention in public, thou hypocrite. And since you can afford health care, do something about that beam in your eye…

thanks
4TT

nounverb911 March 2, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Under God? Isn't the US under Canada?

ManchuCandidate March 2, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Yes… and under most of the developed world based on UN Metrics in education, health, happiness, etc.

LionelHutzEsq March 2, 2011 at 3:54 pm

We are also under Islamic/Communist/Socialist rule, according to FOX News.

MrsBiggTime March 2, 2011 at 4:41 pm

And Sharia Law. Or Sherry Law.

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 2:46 am

No way; Canada is totally a bottom.

SorosBot March 2, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Funny that Sarah condemns the Phelps' for picketing soldier's funerals but not the funerals of gay people.

EdFlintstone March 2, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Watch her head explode at the dilemma of WBC protesting a gay soldier's funeral.

SexySmurf March 2, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Notice the dude wearing the fanny pack? God hates fanny packs.

WhatTheHeck March 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm

That's only because Fanny was such a naughty nanny.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm

It actually looks like the big kind that holds a gun (hoping to not summon the ghost of Neilist).
http://tinyurl.com/4n8ludh

Zvi_Bleindmeis March 2, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Love the fanny, hate the pack.

GOPCrusher March 2, 2011 at 4:37 pm

And skinny jeans. God hates skinny jeans.

metamarcisf March 2, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Who do I have to fuck to get Sarah Palin's name off the internet, the TV, the papers, the radio, the tweeter, forever? And ever. Amen.

DemmeFatale March 2, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Let's hope her star is (finally!) fading.

(But of course, this means desperation for the ol' attention-whore.)

mausgeo March 2, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Perhaps Todd

chickensmack March 2, 2011 at 11:00 pm

I bet — at first — he thought he was the shit. I mean, beauty queen! traveled the countryside! college graduate! television personality! and the "I'm fucking one hot ass woman" which is so desperately important at one time.

Don't you know that deep down inside, he really hates living in this crazy bitch's shadow?

the_problem_child March 2, 2011 at 3:24 pm

You know, $arah is an expert on first amendment issues. We know this because she disagrees with Scalia, Roberts, Thomas and Kennedy, but agrees with Alito, the true expert on first amendment rights for corporations.

Wait, what?

nounverb911 March 2, 2011 at 3:25 pm

"In God we trust, all others pay cash."

EdFlintstone March 2, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Well Sarah, god got 'palinized' and trademarked his/her name so you'll have to cough up some coin to use it.

Redhead March 2, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Okay repulitard morans – "fighting words" may be used later by the police in trying to sort who gets charged for what after the actual assault started by those "fighting words," but they are legal. Just as saying "God" is legal as long as A – you're not an elected official or B – you're an elected official but you're using it in some capacity other than "My God is the only right God and all others are wrong and I'm going to put you in jail if you don't pray with me to my God."

Sarah, you are not an elected politician or a government employee and do not in any manner represent the US government in any way, shape or form, so there is no chance that any sentence you utter could somehow violate the separation of church and state or equate establishing an official national religion. You're in the clear. PS -Be sure and tell Lou and all your other personalities.

petehammer March 2, 2011 at 3:26 pm

I don't want to be "that guy" but "fighting words" is a legitimate legal term for speech not protected by the 1st Amendment. While it sounds dumb, it is a kind of term of art.

SeanMEnright March 2, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Thanks for being that guy so I didn't have to. It's from Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire.

Ruhe March 2, 2011 at 4:53 pm

While I thank you for the clarification sir your wonky use of the wonkish phrase "term of art" is itself fightin' words.

Cicada March 2, 2011 at 8:23 pm

To be fair, this is Wonkette not…er…Colloquiallete.

Man, that sounded so great in my head.

Walnuts_Plumber March 2, 2011 at 3:26 pm

not to be a total buzzkill you guys, but fighting words IS a thing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fighting_words

KenLayIsAlive March 2, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Another victory for free speech.

So when does the the Supreme Court rule on the legality of jacking off in a van near a playground?

SayItWithWookies March 2, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Every day around recess.

LionelHutzEsq March 2, 2011 at 3:56 pm

That's Clarence Thomas, not the whole court.

V572625694 March 2, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Ejaculation is a form of speech, after all. It says, "Me likey!"

keepem_sikanpor March 2, 2011 at 5:23 pm

I'm waiting for the Ohio legislature to subpoena some semen. That's the next logical step, after all.

KenLayIsAlive March 2, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Chris Lee was probably just "subpoenaing some semen" from those trannys is all. Why is Gawker trying to destroy congressional hearings on abortion?

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 2:48 am

Whenever the justices get through diddling themselves under their own robes.

LiveToServeYa March 2, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Goddammit.

SheriffRoscoe March 2, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Fighting words

Nope. Nothing too vague or legally ambiguous about that terminology, Sammy.

SeanMEnright March 2, 2011 at 4:18 pm

It's actually language from a First Amendment supreme court case. Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire. Not that his application is correct.

ttommyunger March 2, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Actually those two words are firmly ensconced in the Georgia Statutes and do justify physical attack from the intnded recipient of said "Fighting Words". I hear Banjo Music, do you?

Plowmon March 2, 2011 at 9:03 pm

And after the 17th Natural Light ALL words is fightin' words…

Mumbletypeg March 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Please, Sarah. The Court's ruling on free speech has as much to do w/ your Godbabble as Jake & Elwood's mission had to do with God.

Ducksworthy March 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm

My question is this: "Does Sarah squat when she twats"?

DerrickWildcat March 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Wait a minute! Isn't this decision protecting people's right to invoke God's name in the public square?

the_problem_child March 2, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Exactly.

OneYieldRegular March 2, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Hey, elitist – don't think you can fool Sarah Palin with all your fancy legalese subtleties.

SayItWithWookies March 2, 2011 at 3:31 pm

You know it's a bad day for conservatives when their sharpest minds can't even find a way around the first amendment.
Oh, and Sarah — you can invoke God in public — you just (and this is more of a limitation than a prohibition) can't do it without sounding like a sanctimonious idiot.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 2, 2011 at 3:41 pm

you can invoke God in public — you just (and this is more of a limitation than a prohibition) can't do it without sounding like a sanctimonious idiot.

I need to use that for my email sig file!

SayItWithWookies March 2, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Go to town — the more I'm quoted, the more likely my hadith will be taken seriously. But I've said too much already.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 3, 2011 at 6:32 pm

You're a meme unto yourself!

el_donaldo March 2, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Palin says she can't say God in the public square.

But Bristol says, "Oh God oh God oh God yes right there."

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Really? I would think Brissie is more of a vacuously stare at the ceiling while chomping her wad of gum type of gal, maybe mumbling ohgodohgodwhatevs.

DonnyKerabotsos March 2, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Yes, but in that case it's in the pubic square.

mavenmaven March 2, 2011 at 5:20 pm

She's more of a "Jesus, you're sweating all over me" kind of girl.

hagajim March 2, 2011 at 3:33 pm

See – Sarah can even make God be all about her….famewhore cunt! NOT WINNING!

fuflans March 2, 2011 at 3:33 pm

why is that dude on the left checking out his own butt under the picture of gay gay sex next to the poster suggesting you 'love thy neighbor'?

i'm getting very mixed messages here.

Barbara_i March 2, 2011 at 3:34 pm

I can't get drunk enough to get into the mind of Sarah Palin. That, and it's pretty crowded in there with all of the voices in her head. I "think" she is talking about how her ilk want to carve the ten commandments on federal buildings, etc. and people balk about it.

nounverb911 March 2, 2011 at 3:40 pm

She should start by tattooing the 10 commandments on her forehead (backwards so she can see them in the mirror).

Barbara_i March 2, 2011 at 4:01 pm

You know what I am talking about, right? There are people who don't like the little manger scenes that are put up in public and blah, blah, blah. I think she's miffed about this.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2011 at 4:52 pm

There's plenty of that in the front yards in all the subdivisions. Well, not the Jewish subdivisions.

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 3:51 pm

I'm guessing you can't get stupid enough to get into that dunce's mind either.

SorosBot March 2, 2011 at 4:09 pm

The fundies often like to claim they're discriminated against when they're prevented from ramming their religion down everyone's throats; look how they characterize the ban on forced prayer in public schools as a ban on praying in public school.

V572625694 March 2, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Just because you haven't drunk enough to get there doesn't mean you should give up. I know I haven't.

But my guess would be she's talking about oh-so-tasteful nativity scenes on the lawn at City Hall.

Barbara_i March 2, 2011 at 4:34 pm

I just hauled some ice and some oats sodas up to the loft, thanks for the reminder. I want to apologize in advance if I drunk dial you tonight. I just wanted to be able to tell you that I "love you man, you made something of yourself!"

V572625694 March 2, 2011 at 5:00 pm

(202) 456-1414. Go to your phones now!

Barbara_i March 2, 2011 at 5:15 pm

That's a demerit.

JustPixelz March 2, 2011 at 3:34 pm

I guess Sarah Palin™ is having a little trouble understanding the "plain language of the Constitution" her TP'ers love so much.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The government is restricted*, not the people. Why is that distinction so difficult for so many TP'ers?
______________________
* does not apply to muslins in Tennessee

el_donaldo March 2, 2011 at 3:41 pm

And just maybe that lack of distinction might help explain her belief that constitutionally protected free speech means that nobody should be allowed to criticize her.

refudiatedness March 2, 2011 at 3:34 pm

I am disappointed that Alito made such an obvious grammatical error in a SCOUTS brief. The actual phrase is "Demz fightin' words". Alito's version fails to close the anaphora.

Barrelhse March 2, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Perhaps he feared that saying "Demz" would politicize his argument.

Gleem_McShineys March 2, 2011 at 3:35 pm

"Yosemite" Sam Alito also voted to curtail varmint rights.

FNMA March 2, 2011 at 3:41 pm

His decision in Coyote v. Acme was a gross abuse of judicial discretion.

Monsieur_Grumpe March 2, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Sarah’s speechifying is just like a million monkeys typing on a million typewriters.
One of these days she’ll say something intelligent.

SexySmurf March 2, 2011 at 3:39 pm

It's more like a million monkeys throwing their feces against a wall.

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 3:52 pm

"One of these days she’ll say something intelligent."

Like, "I'm stupid."

V572625694 March 2, 2011 at 4:18 pm

That would be a true Black Swan event, and no not that awful movie.

chickensmack March 2, 2011 at 4:51 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

at 140 characters at a time? Jesus, you're an optimist.

OneYieldRegular March 2, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Obviously the solution is to stop these godless activist Justices like Scalia and Thomas.

Snarke_Diem March 2, 2011 at 3:41 pm

In Lou Sarah's world, she alone decides what the First Amendment means. The Supreme Court = Satan's Court.

SorosBot March 2, 2011 at 3:41 pm

OT but I see from Wonkette's former intern that some Wisconsin House members have finally responded to Walker's conversation with "Koch" – by proposing a bill to outlaw prank calling:
http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2011/03/wi

Or maybe not totally OT since there are some free speech issues there.

V572625694 March 2, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Hope they also outlaw April Fool pranks, hand buzzers and holding two fingers up behind someone else's head in a group photo.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2011 at 4:55 pm

They'll take away my Whoopee Cushion when they pry it from my cold dead fingers. Or pull my finger.

the_problem_child March 2, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Are you trying to put me out of business entirely?

not that Dewey March 2, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Big Fake Vomit is not going to be happy about this…

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 5:59 pm

There goes the back page of the comics I grew up with (do they still feature sea monkeys, fake dog poo, and x-ray glasses)?

Barbara_i March 2, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Wisconsin v Mike Hunt?

SorosBot March 2, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Or Prince Albert v Can

Jerri March 2, 2011 at 5:07 pm

And Morning Zoo DJs statewide wept.

horsedreamer_1 March 4, 2011 at 10:18 am

Bob & Brian don't know where to come down on this. On the one-hand, they're toadies of the Ayn Rand Right — particularly Nelson, that lumpen shit-sack — but on the other, they think Steve Czaban is hilarious.

Beowoof March 2, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Just the type who wouldn't like Crank Yankers on Comedy Central. See too much of themselves in Special Ed.

DashboardBuddha March 2, 2011 at 6:48 pm

[ring ring]

Yes?

Hi…is your refrigerator running?

Um, yes.

That's great because we all know that global warming is a hoax so turn that sucker up!

seppdecker March 2, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Yes Sarah, Jesus knows that the President (the guy who kicked your ass) never mentions "God" in public, or uses phrases like "God Bless America" which have become part of the culture, even if most people hate you crazy, witch-burning, anti-masturbation, gay-persecuting, cross-lovin' cult.

BTW, them's fightin' words.

El Pinche March 2, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Shut the fuck up you fame-whore failure.

jeeezus, I'm sick of that retarded cunt.

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Ooh, you said jeeezus. Are you in a public square?

By the way, I agree with every word of your post.

widestanceroman March 2, 2011 at 3:48 pm

You know, since protesting at a funeral is now a freedom, ol' Fred is getting on in years and I do hope the girls TURN. IT. OUT. for the occasion.

Gawd Hates Tawd, too, also.

Weenus299 March 2, 2011 at 3:48 pm

OK hear me out:

What if Truck died while serving in Iraq? And the Phelpsers go hauling up to Alaska to "God Hates Fags" all over his service?

Could both parties cancel each other out, with shotguns and molotov cocktails?

genxr March 2, 2011 at 3:51 pm

That would be an epic battle. No matter who loses, we all win!

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Hopefully, Jesus would just rapture all their asses straight to hell. They could duke it out for all eternity. Jackasses, every last one of them.

LakeAfflicted March 3, 2011 at 12:01 am

I think that the Phelps family and the Palin family would realize that, though they may have their differences of opinion, they showed up at that funeral for the same reason: the cameras.

genxr March 2, 2011 at 3:50 pm

She can't invoke God's name ever since He filed that restraining order.

Gopherit March 2, 2011 at 3:55 pm

If anyone is an expert on hate speech combined with xtian values/words it's Sarah. Don't worry, Sarah…..even the ACLU will let you spread Jesus-libel, just don't do it on our dime. Derp.

LionelHutzEsq March 2, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Wait, does this mean that Palin doesn't believe that God hates Fags?

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 6:05 pm

No, no, no, she doesn't believe God hates soldiers. Judging by her stupid squawk about DOMA, she's fine with God hating fags. See, she's all about nuance, you betcha!

LionelHutzEsq March 2, 2011 at 4:00 pm

I'm thinking that Fox News or Tucker Carlson needs to unleash one of their stars to track down these people who are hovering around The Quiting Governor and preventing her from mentioning God.

Of course, it will probably just turn out that Todd likes to place a ball gag on her when they have sex.

genxr March 2, 2011 at 4:41 pm

It's a special shock collar produced by Secular Socialist Collective Industries, LLC. One mention of religion and ZAP!

V572625694 March 2, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Wouldn't you want to gag her? And not just during sex? That voice…

crybabyboehner March 2, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Impeach John Roberts!

inapewetrust March 2, 2011 at 4:08 pm

she makes a good point though – we need to get back to good old-fashioned common sense america, where people were free to talk openly about how they rely on a huge invisible ghost to solve all their problems. nowadays, if a person speaks such basic truths, they will have their civil rights trampled on by "jokes" and "not being taken seriously".

personman2 March 2, 2011 at 4:13 pm

The god that Palin is always yammering about said that gay people should be given the death penalty (Leviticus 20:13). The church that she calls wacko is just protesting, which is pretty mild compared to what the Bible actually says.

JoeBiteme March 2, 2011 at 4:13 pm

The lack of self-awareness and inability to recognize irony (even in it's most obvious forms) displayed by these people has got to be some sort of milestone.
I mean, surely we're in unchartered territory here, right?

Anyone? Is this thing on?

__kth__ March 2, 2011 at 4:18 pm

This would be that First Amendment that doesn't allow Fred Phelps to yell at the sky, but that says you can't fire "Dr" Laura if she says "n***er" on the radio about 20 times in a minute.

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Uh, yeah.

MinAgain March 2, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Sarah apparently hasn't attended a state school sporting event in a while, because the designated clergy won't shut up about God at the beginning of the game I've attended.

undeterredbyreality March 2, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Twat you say? I cunt hear you–I got a ear infucktion.

harry_palmer March 2, 2011 at 4:36 pm

I don't know about the public square, but when Tawd's at the motel banging his hookers, you can hear him yelling God's name all the way out in the parking lot.

qwerty42 March 2, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Has anyone suffered the way poor, poor Sarah has suffered?

elfgoldsackring March 2, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Does LouSarah count? Or any of the other citizens of the United States of Sarah (=real Murka)? (I can never remember, is slutty teen Bristol a real person or just another of Sarah's "personalities"?)

qwerty42 March 2, 2011 at 5:01 pm

I hear "LouSarah" and all I can think of is Via Dolorosa. Has there ever, ever been a greater example of grief and suffering?

trampndirtdown March 3, 2011 at 12:26 am

Oh Bristle is real alright.. real big.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2011 at 4:58 pm

That guy in the Bible, Job, comes to mind, but probably not.

Jukesgrrl March 2, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Not. Sarah's allergic to the mere word "Job." She sees it and thinks "work," something she's not interested in.

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Only people with ears.

LetUsBray March 2, 2011 at 11:07 pm

T = the cross to which she's nailed. See, hers doesn't even have a head-rest.

user-of-owls March 2, 2011 at 4:41 pm

It's about goddamn time the Court protected the rights of deranged extended families to use funerals as a vehicle for teaching basic principles of geometry.

I submit to the Court as Exhibit One the photo of a sign held by the educators that is labeled "El Casin." The obvious illustration of primary geometric shapes such as isosceles, rhombuses and 'doggy-style' clearly indicates plaintiff's underlying intent.

The_Great_Gazoo March 2, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Sarah says: "That's just repugnating." William Shakespeare, and such.

SheriffRoscoe March 2, 2011 at 4:49 pm

wacko "church"

I chuckle when members of one church call other churches wacko.

V572625694 March 2, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Acceptable beliefs:

(1) Communion wafers and wine literally become the flesh and blood of Jebus.
(2) It's okay to sexually torture little boys because, hey, everybody else is doing it and it didn't happen all that often and the Pope didn't know about it and we'll go broke if we have to settle all these lawsuits.

Unacceptable belief: Gratuitous war is an abomination that punishes those who carry it out, even innocently.

lulzmonger March 3, 2011 at 2:09 am

Star-Bellied Sneetch Simplex.

chickensmack March 2, 2011 at 4:50 pm

What's she bitching about? A church has the freedom to say what they want.

If she wants to debate the value of what they're saying, then she should also be prepared to debate this whole zombie Jesus / invisible friend / Creationism thing. And I bet she'll think her side's opinion is immutable.

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Or she would if she had ever in her uneducated, unread life heard the word immutable. I'm sure she would think it means "can't be muted." In her case, sadly true.

chickensmack March 2, 2011 at 11:13 pm

You're goddamn right. It's only been 607 days since she announced quitting government work, and 848 days since we told her ignorant ass "You can't have veep, either."

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2011 at 4:50 pm

I've been around the world several times in my half-century on the planet, but I've never seen a square one. Triangles aplenty, and some amorphous blobs, and some shorn to a squeaky clean, but never a square. Must be more rare than a four leaf clover.

spinozasgod March 2, 2011 at 4:51 pm

I believe those "fine" Americans of the Westboro Baptist Church are using the word "god" quite a bit on their "freedumb of speech" signs that they proudly carry in the "public square" .

SanfordandSon11 March 2, 2011 at 4:51 pm

How can so many tragedies befall one pissant retard?

GOPCrusher March 2, 2011 at 4:52 pm

God remembered to sign the paperwork when he/she sent it in to trademark his/her name, you stupid box.
But seriously, isn't Bible Spice afraid of alienating her "base" by calling the Westboro Baptists a "wacko" church?

SanfordandSon11 March 2, 2011 at 4:52 pm

A hygiene issue, most likely.

donner_froh March 2, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Wonkette can be a harsh mistress. If I never read the words Sarah Palin again it would be fine. However Wonkette, in her/their/his wisdom has decreed that this blot upon the nation's must be held accountable for her constant disgusting misuses of language, attacks on basic American rights and general mopery.

And without the collective political wisdom of Wonkette and its commentators there would be no path through the fearsome forest of political life, 2011. So I have Wonkette in my twitter twatter and whenever that pixie-eyed young thing shows up I clickity click to see what new outrages have been committed. Putting up with the Palin brood is worth the otherwise delightful views of the Wonkette empire.

Metaphors by Mix-Master.

elfgoldsackring March 2, 2011 at 4:53 pm

I bet Wasilla has a beautiful public square. I'm picturing a piazza of impeccable Palladian proportions, surrounded by ancient, honey-colored, shuttered buildings, with elegant locals strolling through in the balmy early evening air, or stopping for an aperitivo in one of the vine-dappled cafes. And some hideous dishevelled twunt off to the side, screeching about gawd and ripping her clothes, as people benignly smile.

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 6:14 pm

"as people benignly smile" under the palm trees imported from Wisconsin.

Crank_Tango March 2, 2011 at 6:19 pm

i doubt that, but it might have a costco.

zhubajie March 2, 2011 at 6:32 pm

One day, in Oxford, Ohio, I walked to the liquor store, bought a quart of black rum and walked home, brown paper sack under my arm. As I approached the square at the center of town, I heard noise, and I walked through, I saw a choir, and a preacher, preaching away. He seemed pretty excited. I went on home. Later, I was told the preacher had gotten real excited when he'd seen this sinner walk by with a liquor bottle under his arm!

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 2:52 am

Wasilia has a shoulderless, walkless highway lined with parking lots with buildings incoincidentally behind them.

glamourdammerung March 2, 2011 at 4:55 pm

Palin is clearly referring to that time she said "god" in the public square and the government death panel came and executed her.

Right?

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Well, aren't you the little optimist.

BaldarTFlagass March 2, 2011 at 4:57 pm

Even the blind squirrel finds the occasional acorn.

ChessieNefercat March 2, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Yeah, but not the blind, stupid squirrel. I vote ghost-twatter.

Buckminster March 2, 2011 at 5:22 pm

I thought we might make it a week without a comment from Palin. How naive of me.

mavenmaven March 2, 2011 at 5:23 pm

wacko "church"
Its wacko primarily because as opposed to proper churches, it doesn't believe that Alaska is the holy ground that will be spared after Armageddon when all the rest of the world is damned to eternal hellfire. Other than that, there's no difference between her church and theirs on points of theology.

LakeAfflicted March 3, 2011 at 12:09 am

Other than the disagreement about whether God ought to be thanked for providing dead soldiers, there's really quite a lot of common ground there in general.

Slim_Pickins March 2, 2011 at 5:53 pm

She's just afraid of a lightning strike if she invokes god's name in public. There is a simple avoidance procedure — just holdup a one iron. As Lee Trevino once remarked, "not even god can hit a one iron."

zhubajie March 2, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Isn't there a commandment forbidding her to use the Almighty's name in vain?

Worthly Wokette Skum March 2, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Sarah uses the Almighty's name inveighing.

Beowoof March 2, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Didn't Sarah have a whacko Pastor come her church? I do believe he was from Africa and didn't like the gays too much either. I guess that's different Sarah, liked him.

Gleem_McShineys March 2, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Someone’s Stopping Sarah Palin From Saying ‘God’ In Public

I'm assuming this someone is from her team, yes? Trying to keep her stupid malformed retarded words from angering the gods and inciting a hail of lightning bolts, locust storms, or an angel blowing a horn to knock her privacy fence down?

owhatever March 2, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Now doing the God Tango — Fred Phelps and Sarah Palin !!.

ttommyunger March 2, 2011 at 7:35 pm

I've got to tell 'ya. It's getting so bad I don't even want to fuck her now, not even a little bit. Not even if she promised not to speak.

OC_Surf_Serf March 2, 2011 at 7:43 pm

welcome to the dark side tt…she's always seemed to me as being that "talkative" cashier at Safeway. Polyester and Aquanet and stretchmarks.

ttommyunger March 2, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Yup, done that.

PublicLuxury March 2, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Sarah seems overly distraught. Perhaps it's her coffee? She should be drinking Sanka Brand decaffeinated coffee.

Barbara_i March 2, 2011 at 9:28 pm

She's a Chock Full 'O Nuts kinda gal, isn't she?

PublicLuxury March 2, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Definitely. You are correct. I yield to your superior wisdom on decaffeinated products

AutomaticPilot March 2, 2011 at 10:12 pm

But she did invoke "God" in a public square of sorts – I mean, isn't the Twatter a huge electronic public square? She must not be too afraid of getting arrested.

Pithaughn March 2, 2011 at 10:59 pm

Also. Silly me, my first thought was "effective use of twat limit on # of characters". Then the ghost twat realzation sank in to it there out in my brain having thoughts.

BarackMyWorld March 2, 2011 at 11:15 pm

"….but we can't invoke God in public" is the Christian version of "We can put a man on the moon, but we can't…."

LakeAfflicted March 3, 2011 at 12:02 am

Good eye!

lulzmonger March 3, 2011 at 2:18 am

Worst case of BS-addiction I've ever seen. Can't even go 140 keystrokes without shovelling more bullshit … a few more years of chasing the Bullshit Dragon & she won't even be able to say her own name or what year it is.

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 2:38 am

"God hates, fags."

See what a comma can do? Just like "No Money Down!" can become "No, Money Down!"

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 2:51 am

Fighting words, eh? So, he's arguing that we go back to public dueling? Awesome.

chascates March 3, 2011 at 3:01 am

I don't know how anyone can go on about how mentioning God (Judeo-Christian, preferably evangelical Protestant) is somehow prohibited from the 'public square'. Palin, Bachmann, Huckabee, and even Gingrich can't shut up about the deity and religion (their's) in general. The cause of all our ills is our supposed 'turning away' from someone the great majority of Americans believe in (at least when asked in a poll) and the solution is to embrace Him according to our self-appointed political saviors. Your mileage may vary depending on creed, current level of anxiety, etc.

Czechoslovakia is supposed to have the world's largest percentage of atheists, almost 39 percent of the population. For those thinking of moving to an area where there are less believers here is a map of the United States broken down by county: http://smileosmile.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04

Most of Alaska looks headed for brimstone.

Negropolis March 3, 2011 at 6:30 am

Georgia is surprisingly uninfested, as is West Virginia. My Michigan (at least the Lower Peninsula) is rather empty, too, by comparison, and Southern Ohio blows my mind. I wonder what exactly goes on in Southeastern Ohio/West Virginia/Eastern Kentucky (some of the reddest, most conservative areas east of the Mississippi) where people would indentifiy as not having a religion? I mean, this is the heart of Appalachia. Only as Appalachia delves into its southern region does religious indentification seem to shoot up.

MoeDeLawn March 3, 2011 at 9:22 am

Reddest? We're talking southern Ohio, right? We're talking ORANGEST! Bonerland!

jus_wonderin March 3, 2011 at 8:16 am

OH MY GAWD, SHE IS AN IDIOT!!!!

Tundra Grifter March 3, 2011 at 9:43 am

I guess Duh Gov'Nuh hasn't been listening. Of course the name of God can be mentioned in the public square.

I'll bet when she gives a speech members of the audience quite often can be heard to exclaim "She said what? Good Lord!"

V572625694 March 2, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Google the number before you brutally down-fist me.

Barbara_i March 2, 2011 at 5:29 pm

I fisted you high to the sky, dude. I Googled it already.

V572625694 March 2, 2011 at 5:37 pm

You've got a comment up there ("special needs mom") with 91 upfists as of 2:37 PM Pacifc. I'm in awe.

Barbara_i March 2, 2011 at 5:44 pm

The dark whorey underworld of nighttime will come soon and the trolls will fix that, trust me.

Beowoof March 2, 2011 at 6:31 pm

Oh no not a typo bringing the great neilist out of his lurking place.

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