Newt Gingrich Too Sleazy a Grifter To Legally Run For President Right Now
Newt Gingrich's people wanted everyone to know yesterday that he was definitely about to announce he's running for president, for realz this time. But then they looked into the paperwork to file an exploratory committee and realized it's going to be hard to figure out exactly how many money-making schemes he has going these days and exactly how to arrange the documents so nothing too embarrassing comes out about the schemes. (Newt has to be hoping he doesn't own any Libyan mail-order bride companies and isn't the sponsor of something called the "Adultery Foundation Awards." Both are distinct possibilities.) So he will only run for president IF and when these schemes can be carefully assembled into an FEC bento box.
One Republican with knowledge of the situation told Score that Gingrich is likely to confirm his “intention to announce,” but not actually unveil an exploratory committee. ABC reports Gingrich may use the term “explore phase” rather than “exploratory committee” – another way of stopping short of a full-scale announcement. The reason: Untangling the web of business and political groups Gingrich is involved in has proven complicated and he’s not in a position just yet to take a more formal step toward running.
Get it together, sources (zoo animals) close to Newt Gingrich. Newt is going to "confirm" his "intention" to announce? He's been doing that approximately forever. [ Politico via Salon ]
Word is out that Newt is going to go into the exploratory phase. Not actually forming an exploratory committee, but into that phase.
Is this like exploratory surgery? We don't know just how ugly it's going to get, but we know it's nasty enough to have to go in?
Could Ole Newt be a bit more hesitent? He was much more confident when he was telling his wives to hit the bricks...
3/3/2011 Update: Ole Newt announes the launching of...his website! This translates to "Send me your money, Suckers!"
Really defying the laws of physics, since his peen is smaller than his wife's pussy lips. I can't explain it and neither can you.....