rumors on the internets

America’s Muslims To Redress Statue of Liberty, Put a Burqa On That Hussy

  • America’s new favorite Thomas Kinkade—a brave “fifth-year” art student at the Pratt Institute, is being CENSORED because his message is TOO TRUE and POLITICALLY INCORRECT for the sissie limp-wrists of the art world. [The New Criterion]
  • Evil Muslims (is there any other kind of Muslim, really?) want to destroy the Statue of Liberty and turn it into brand new Victory Mosque for their innumerable blood rituals. [Before It's News]
  • Obviously, people from Berkley California are all terrible ivory tower tenure-leaches, but did you know that are also solely responsible for the financial crisis? It’s true! [Pajama's Media]
  • Glenn Beck can lift fucking BOULDERS now, people. So his conspiracy theories must be right! [Glenn Beck]
  • China’s messenger pigeon army is ready to obliterate America with waves and waves of bird feces. [Telegraph]

About the author

Benjamin Frisch is a comic book artist, and sometimes journalist currently habituating somewhere on the elitist liberal east coast of the United States. His published works include a short lived, but beloved cross-dressing comic strip entitled Maurice Antoinette and some other stuff not worth mentioning. As a journalist, Benjamin somehow contributed to National Public Radio, with his story At the Concert Hall, a Symphony for Space Invaders. Benjamin is currently delaying adulthood as a graduate student, and plans to remain one forever. He can be twittered at Twitter.com/BenjaminFrisch

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125 comments

  1. OC_Surf_Serf

    Fear no art.

    edit…but Mr. Audi DeQuattro is an ass. Only a right-wing tard could hold together the notion of Conservative Revolutionary.

    1. Mahousu

      The "fifth year" is the clue. It's traditionally after the four-year warranty expires that weird problems start showing up in Audis. Here, for example, the "no design ability whatsoever" warning light has started flashing.

    2. Beowoof

      Mr. DeQuattro clearly demonstrates the lack of congnitive ability in his political opinions, but I am one of those folks who really believe in Free Speech. So let him say or display what he wants, it allows the rest of us to identify those we would prefer not hang around with.
      Real freedom, not the kind the teatards and conservatives talk about is hard. It means letting people say or display things you don''t agree with.

    3. OneDollarJuana

      Mr. DeQuattro, like so many conservatives, is confusing legal versus illegal discrimination. If the Pratt Institute was a public school, he might have a case, but being a private institution they can discriminate against him all day long, and he can suck it. After all, this is one thing conservatives have long been clamoring for, the right to discriminate against things that they don't like.

      Oops. Needs snark. Ok, STFU, asshat!

  2. chascates

    Today may be one of those days where it seems like the universe is going out of its way to prove Glenn’s theories right.

    No. Those days don't exist. The universe has no connection with Glenn Beck.

    1. DeeJayKitteh

      Today may be one of those days where it seems like the universe is going out of its way to prove Glenn’s theories [are] right [wing sensationalist nonsense].

      Fixed.

    2. Lascauxcaveman

      Ooh, maybe he's talking about one of those cool sci-fi alternate universes, where everything is crazy-backwards? Like on those episodes Deep Space Nine, where Major Kira is an evil fascist oligarch with slaves and Capt. Sisko is a space pirate?

    3. DangerHelvetica

      I think Glenn Beck might be our Mr. Mxyzptlk. Has anyone tried getting him to say Kceb Nnelg?

    1. Beowoof

      Yeah some guy named Zombie writing about the Berekly look. What a turd, not willing to give Wall Street its due for being the criminals they are, says all I need about him.

  3. OC_Surf_Serf

    "I agree with you 100%, we are saved by Grace through our Faith. No one will reach heaven without going through the son. When we have the faith, that grave has provided, good works come automatically because you work so hard to serve him, knowing those works will not make it for you. Faith will carry you home."

    Glenn Beck's base…they believe Glenn is a white preacher on par with LK and MLKjr…

    Speechless, really.

    1. Polythene Pam

      And, the infighting amongst the Christians in the comments is just so fun to read, as they argue about which parts of the bible are the right ones to believe.

      "Follow the shoe!"

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Ah, I think it's pretty. I expect to see stuff like that in every budget corporate-brand motor lodge I visit.

    1. mereoblivion

      Does it count as fraud if the people you rip off are as born-again as you are?
      Well, yeah, I guess it does. Anyway . . .

    2. elviouslyqueer

      That pic of Kinkaide just screams "I sit in a van spanking my monkey while watching young children play in the park."

  4. donner_froh

    Today may be one of those days where it seems like the universe is going out of its way to prove Glenn’s theories right-wing bullshit and utter hypocrisy.

    Like every other day.

  5. harry_palmer

    From the "Before It's News" website: "This is taking direct from their website …"

    Aside from the bad grammar, it's good to know that the world's Muslins only have one website, and "Patriot Freedom" is monitoring it. That will make the keystone kops at DHS breathe a little easier.

  6. meufchelou

    Ah the Chinese show the way; New York WILL be the center of the next military industrial complex. And the rats for ground communications.

  7. SorosBot

    The "Art" that Arma Virumque column shows is nothing but a bad, unfunny political cartoon created in photoshop; also Virgil called, he wants this pretentious, pseudo-intellectual douche to stop misappropriating his words.

    1. Ruhe

      But you would agree that the best way to deal with this sort of dreck is to let the "artist" hang it publicly and then publicly face the inevitable critique. The best possible, most diffusive response from the Pratt faculty to this would have been a terse "he paid his tuition, he can have his show. that is all." I think you could even make the critical case, over the artist's own objections, that what his "work" does is parody the ham-handed failure of popular conservatism to appreciate the nuances of real liberalism. That would be fun.

      1. SorosBot

        While the "art" that page showed (at least the readable parts) was just a bunch of typical wingnut mischaracterizations of liberals, my guess would be that some of his works were truly offensive; as a conservative "artist", likely towards women, racial minorities, gay people, or Muslims (or all of 'em, Charlie).

      2. Weenus299

        Absolutely! There's got to be a refrigerator with strong-enough magnets somewhere in the Pratt.

    2. Gorillionaire

      Five years of "drawing school" wrought a sniveling arse who spent fifteen minutes on photoshop and then compared himself to Picasso.

    3. Gleem_McShineys

      Seriously! That "cereal box" has as much art in it as poorly done generic q-tips carton. It's not even good fake commercial design. AT PRATT I LERNT HOW TO OUTLINE FONTZ!

      Fucking wingers can't do humor, can't do art, can't do subtlety, can't do cleverness.

      But they have a loud megaphone with which to amplify their martyriffic bawling! Which apparently is enough. You go, tearstained fairness quibblers, and someday the world will finally become so fair that one day, even shitty eye-hurting all-text layouts blasted out of uncreative wingtard rectums will be hung in museums right next to the finest of sculptures!

        1. DeeJayKitteh

          I would like to opt out of submitting my eyeballs to that torture, thank you very much.

  8. SorosBot

    God, Glenn Beck's commenters are even crazier than him; apparently Muslims actually worship Satan.

    1. mereoblivion

      Yeah, or some slinky one-piece number fit for the late great Jane R. Then we could yell at those Muslins, "Come on, we got your reddress of grievances right here!"

    2. elviouslyqueer

      For old time's sake:

      That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

      h/t NoWireHangers

  9. Doktor Avalanche

    5th year Pratt student? Looks more like AP student work to me but what do I know from art. Seriously, it looks shitty.

    But it's good to know what us in the Great Librul Conspiracy are up to: “growing bureaucracy, higher tuition, new buildings for administration, new offices, and departments, and left-wing bias, all at the expense of the students.” What a buncha PC nazis!!1!

    1. Giveusabob

      Plus, I'll bet the breakfast cereal inside is 110% organic granola with fresh cranberries, fair trade Nutella (maybe it exists?), and Agave nectar as sweetener! Fucking health-coma in a box! I hope he starts selling 'em at Whole Paycheck mkt.

    2. Bluestatelibel

      And jobs! Us libruls actually think it might be a good thing for people to have jobs, instead of being homeless and starving…the nerve of us.

  10. donner_froh

    Pajamas Media–aren't they the guys who employ Joe the Plumber?

    Compare that with Charles Ferguson, who they are attacking for winning the best documentary Academy Award:

    Ph.D. in Political Science from M.I. fucking T.
    Created early web publishing software (Front Page) and sold it to Microsoft for a few hundred million.
    Award winning film director.
    Wrote four books (real books, in the Sarah Palin or Glenn Beck type)
    Picks up the occasional visiting professorship at MIT or Berkley.

  11. fuflans

    all i can think of re: that glenn beck post is the snl / bill murray / hercules skit.

    "that rock is too large. i could lift a smaller one."

  12. El Pinche

    Statue of Liberty should be 50 lbs heavier wearing a AC/DC Snuggie to reflect true Amurka

  13. Barbara_i

    I found this post in the Statue of Liberty story:
    Their will be a terrorist bombing on the Lady Liberty, before this summer.
    It won't be a false flag event, but the .gov will turn a blind eye and allow it to happen.
    —————————————————————-
    That reminds me….
    Didn't Walnuts SPECIFICALLY say during the debate with Barack, "I know how to find Bin Laden" Johnny, is there something you would like to share with the rest of the class or was this statement meant for only if we elected you?

  14. ArmoredBore

    Fo' shizzle. I wouldn't give PJ Media a dog bowl full of my own vomit, much less a pageview

  15. Come here a minute

    Benjamin, I don't know how you have the stomach to comb through these nutty conservative web sites to cull this list of crap every day — the Ayn Rand comic was much more fun. But as long as you do, maybe you should add George Will to the list of crazy wingnut bloggers.

  16. Texan_Bulldog

    Thomas Kinkade makes Bob Ross (whom I used to LOVE watching when I was a kid) seem like fucking Picasso.

  17. glamourdammerung

    I have to agree with you.

    And this is coming from someone that has a hard time avoiding staring at train wrecks and Stormfront.

  18. DaRooster

    "Glen Beck is a loon…"
    "Terror will strike the Statue of Liberty… because of something Obama did…"
    Stuff like that… you know… Conservitard Shit…

    In a nutshell…

  19. JoeBiteme

    Isn't Thomas Kinkade the mall chain with all the fucking dolphin pictures? I'll bet he laughs like a weirdo every time he fires up his Bugatti…

    1. DaRooster

      Your thinking of Wyland… same kinda shlocky style stuff though.
      Kinkade (another over the top Christian) does mostly landscape stuff, outdoorsy from what I've seen. Although he was recently in hot water for doing a painting of Vegas… with the landmarks moved around as he thought they should be.

      1. El Pinche

        If you seen one Kinkade , you've seen them all (flowers, glowing window lights,etc). Yeah, lets hope he pissed off a Genovese family boss or something, forgetta about it.

  20. SorosBot

    Somehow I kind of suspect that the "Shariah4America" site that the Muslim-hating blog links to was not actually created by Muslims as it claims.

  21. Redhead

    I thought Kinkade's message was "look how much I can charge you dumbass sheeples for a paint-by-number I got from a kit in the dollar bin at AC Moore"

  22. PresBeeblebrox

    Is it me, or does Glennnnn look waaay too queer in that Unkle Sam outfit on his website? He looks like a terrible marriage between the Sixth Doctor and a Tom of Finland drawing.

  23. mereoblivion

    Take the "seem" outa that sentence and you've got a real eye-opener.
    (Me, too. Used to love the guy. So soothing he made Mister Rogers seem like . . . oops, better not go there.)

  24. Come here a minute

    Apparently conservatives treat art and science the same way — when they suck at something, they blame it on Liberal Bias.

  25. LionelHutzEsq

    You have to give the Muslims some credit, as the Statue of Liberty is dressed like a whore.

  26. SayItWithWookies

    Hey Glenn Beck — there's a crank/vagrant who hangs out in my neighborhood who also has a plan for world domination and thinks the end times are nigh. So should I take him seriously too? His plan seems to involve getting two bucks for a 40 of malt liquor, but so far that's all he's been willing to disclose — it probably gets even more nefarious the deeper you get into it.

  27. KenLayIsAlive

    “growing bureaucracy, higher tuition, new buildings for administration, new offices, and departments, and left-wing bias, all at the expense of the students.”

    Also – Pratt is a fucking PRIVATE School you fucking idiot. Don't like the tuition and new buildings? Don't go there! You want affordable, responsive education, you have to go to a socialist school like Hunter. Of course, they don't accept shitty artists, so…

    Oh he has EMAIL! dequattro@gmail.com

    Write him something about the decades of right wing art censorship and defunding real artists put up with. I certainly did.

    1. Redhead

      Most affordable schools are public schools and (at least somewhat) funded with government money, making them socialist evil conspiracy schools! Instead, the government should intervene and force the private non-socialist schools to keep their tuition low and affordable, maybe subsidize certain programs to make that a more realistic option… oh wait…

  28. Worthly Wokette Skum

    China’s messenger pigeon army is ready to obliterate America with waves and waves of bird feces.

    Harper Collins will beat them to it.

    1. zhubajie

      Switzerland sold off their carrier pigeon corps a few years ago. Now we know who bought it!

  29. LionelHutzEsq

    And you have to like that Conservatives continue to blame the financial crisis on poor and/or colored people. I'm sure that it was a bunch of crack heads from Watts that set up the derivative market to bundle loans and do all sort of other crap that reaped the big banks money.

    The fun part is the comment section, where we find out that Obama set up the fall of Lehman Brothers so that he could knock off John McCain and pass TARP. I assume Obama also is responsible for the Iraq war.

    1. DeeJayKitteh

      Of course it's their fault. They had the audacity to buy into that whole homeownership as the American Dream crap that was being sold to them and then actually apply for the loans that the banks were handing out like candy. What irresponsibility!

    1. SheriffRoscoe

      Look troll, don't blame me because Newt Gingrich is a fat serial adulterer with a wee little peen and donut crumbs on his shirt…..I didn't make him that way.

  30. sportshort

    "Obama is spending YOUR TAXMONEY TO REFURBISH MOSQUES all over the world. Does that TELL YOU ANYTHING?????"–from the website comments

    Hmmmm. It tells me that you're getting your news from a source even wackier than Fox. Like the "Ignorant Rascist Network".

  31. Ruhe

    The "Berkeley Expression"!? I actually read that shit Mr. Frisch! It was like the first paragraph from a Dan Brown novel.
    And just to clarify: They hate us because we think we're smart. We hate them because we know they're dumb. Delectable! Even in their own fantasy engagements with liberals conservatives come off looking idiotic.

    1. genxr

      People walking around looking content and generally happy with their lives? Must be a conspiracy against me!

    2. carlgt1

      I have lived in Berkeley for years and haven't seen this BS called "Berkeley expression." I have also lived in Georgia and did see a bunch of dumb redneck Jeebus-freaks walking around with their self-satisfied "I am saved" expression.

    3. nicnack74

      I was particularly appalled by that paragraph. Berkeley smugness??? I guess it's all that California sunshine, fresh food, and ocean breezes. Someone needs to chill the fuck out. I went to school in the bay area. It's not entirely a wealthy enclave either, unless it's changes a lot there is a lot of diversity there. Talk about your blanket sterotypes, it's not just for the black folks anymore.

  32. Ducksworthy

    Is "Before its News" synonymous with "Before its Anything Other than the Ravings of a Delusional Paranoid Schizophrenic"?

  33. Ducksworthy

    China is training 10,000 messenger pigeons to deliver vital military communications in the event of the country's communication systems breaking down. And they're a dual use telecommunications technology. Ever see anyone try to eat an IPhone?

    1. SorosBot

      If the communications system break down by "accident"; I'm sure the military's training of them shortly after the anti-dictator rebellions in the Middle East began, with an assist from modern communications technology, is just a coincidence.

  34. Weenus299

    You know what sucks, all the people censoring the boy's art have him thinking he's a genius. I think it was a cute piece he made, but it's complete. He should move on to other things. There's no lasting power in rah-rah political tomfoolery.

    Except that people censored him. Now the fucker has a cause to create himself into a downward spiral that will place him on the cover of the National Review.

    1. PubOption

      How long does it take him to come up with these political cartoons? If he can produce one per day, he might be able to get a job with a newspaper.

  35. buford2k10

    I don't know how you Wonkettes do it. I made it to the Beck page before my head exploded. How can anyone be so stupid? Or did I miss something?

  36. Weenus299

    I always thought the Statue of Liberty looked just like Sylvester Stallone in the face.

  37. Mumbletypeg

    Shouldn't we be glad there's a plan to re-dress Lady Lib in case China's messenger pigeon-poop plague does reach our shores? I just don't feel the spiky-crown thingie is going to be enough protection for her.

  38. KenLayIsAlive

    Comment from pigeon story: "Seriously it's scary their preparation compared with the woeful treatment our armed forces are subject to."

    Ahaha.. right, because $700B a year is nothing compared to their training of literally hundreds of pigeons.

    I call for another $100B a year, just to close the pigeon gap.

    1. Swampgas_Man

      The crap gap?
      If this also involves forcibly recruiting the dozens of gulls dive-bombing my parking lot, you're upfisted.

  39. carlgt1

    that "Sharia Law for the USA" site seems to be a phony/strawman site created so reich-wingers can have something to be perpetually outraged about?

  40. zhubajie

    Re the carrier pigeons, the soldiers will probably eat them when their officers are not looking. Or steal the eggs and sell them. Pigeon meat, pigeon eggs, are pretty good.

  41. mumbly_joe

    Funny how the "Fire in my Belly" fiasco was simply a "bad internal decision by the Smithsonian", because all those very public threats by federal lawmakers to cut funding to the Smithsonian over the content of the installation were totally irrelevant, whereas the private academic institution the Pratt Institute is practicing censor-ey-censor-censorship, by giving a shitty designer trading in standard-fare* right-wing pablum a bad grade or whatever. First Amendment Rights and whatnot!

    *Honestly, some of it's even sub-standard: the whole "Democrats be pro-slavery, back when they were based in the South, and were largely rural/agrarian, and opposed public infrastructure development and public education, and advocated nullification and secession" thing is rendered a plainly idiotic point by the fact that there is one party that has all that features today, and also brimming with apologetics for the Southern cause in the Civil War, and surprisingly enough, it ain't the Democratic party. Funny, that!

  42. ttommyunger

    Face it, real 'Merikans will never fully trust Lady Liberty. I mean, you do know she is French, right? And a real tart to boot. Just look at her, she's fair game for anybody, actually advertising: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free…" What a slut!

  43. undeadgoat

    I'm pretty sure they meant his work was "visually offensive"; I would not want my work to be displayed in the same gallery has anything that ugly, no matter which political points it made or how subtly it made them. However, lime green + personal insults to myself and my compatriots + even stupider than Fox News = COME ON.

    Also, I have a Handy Tip for the "drawing students" of the world–if you never bothered to take graphic design classes, please don't include graphic design in your senior exhibition. ESPECIALLY if you also don't understand how to use color on the computer. And as far as that comparison paragraph goes, umm, there is a TON of shitty Obama art out there which I would be more than happy to not display ever. But Shepard Fairey actually has what you might call a good design sense.

    (I'm also going to post this over there but MINUS the dig at Fox News so that if anyone feels attacked by what I say I can feel smugly superior.)

  44. zhubajie

    As fat and ugly as a lot of Americans are getting, I would think burqas would be a good idea. Especially for our politicians, male, female and eunuch! Keep America Beautiful!

  45. PublicLuxury

    My Uncle Paul used to kill pigeons and my Aunt Eva would dress them, stuff them and bake them. Not much meat on a pigeon. Can't feed an entire family on them. But, I suppose, for a treat, if you keep spitting the buckshot out like watermelon seeds, they might be OK.

  46. Badonkadonkette

    You know who else was an aspiring art student who felt he was being unfairly censored by the libruls?

  47. Negropolis

    Is there such a creature as a conservative fifth-year art student at Pratt? This doesn't even sound like the Dodo, as such a top-heavy bird actually existed at one time.

    BTW, it wouldn't be so hard to rework Lady Liberty's tunic as a burqa; that could be the compromise, and you could hold the adhān (call to prayer) from her head. Everybody win, my freend!

  48. Negropolis

    So, how many more months/years you want to guess before Glenn Beck goes all Jim Jones on his followers?

  49. MadBrahms

    "“The end of your world has arrived. Who cheers that?” Glenn asked."

    Oh, I don't know, millions of Evangelical Christians?

    Yes, a fake cereal box is the same thing as Guernica, really. You can just feel the raw suffering and emotionality coming off of that polar bear; it's so expressionistic.

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