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Serially Unemployed Meghan McCain Has Thoughts On Wisconsin Workers

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You know, political science.What is Meghan McCain up to these days? When she’s not buying AC/DC pajamas at Walmart for her new Daily Beast colleagues Howard Kurtz and Andrew Sullivan, she’s been very hard at work composing her fortnightly column. Yes, that’s every two weeks. What a workload! Tina Brown should be careful; Meghan could hurt her back and be on disability for months. Meghan tried her best to come up with an opinion on the Wisconsin unions and runaway state senators. She really did! The result doesn’t really make sense, but we think she’s trying to say unions should just let it go and allow the state government to do whatever it wants, because this is all hurting society. Sure, Meg agrees a $89,000 a year salary doesn’t “seem” like a lot of money for people who don’t have trust funds, but humanity itself will be doomed if we continue to let unions collectively bargain.

As the bill came up for a vote, 14 Democrat state senators fled from Wisconsin and went into hiding in Illinois. The last time I checked, you can’t just leave your job when the going gets tough. If the rest of us did that, we’d be fired.

Interesting! When did she check this? Did she visit an elementary school while they were having Career Day? Who is this mysterious “us” she speaks of who can be fired from their “jobs”?

Now there are thousands of teachers storming the streets. California workers even held their own march in Sacramento to show solidarity.

Woah woah woah, Meg, are you telling us you read more than one link when you looked up this union stuff on Google News? Wisconsin and California? Those are TWO states!

Yes, this is a tricky and complicated issue. That’s why we elect politicians to represent us, so that they can vote and reach a resolution. When they go missing, the result is chaos. Our democracy falls apart. America cannot function if we are a society fueled by riots.

Hey, did you guys hear our democracy fell apart? Get out on the streets and loot the stores! Rape and murder at will! Install a fascist dictator! There is no more gasoline, and our cars can only run on the energy produced by riots!

America cannot function when its legislatures aren’t in session. That’s why the United States catches on fire, explodes, and quickly sinks into the ocean each time Congress goes on vacation for a month. (Tip: Most people take a civics class before they try to opine on political theory and human society.)

What is going on in Wisconsin shouldn’t be tolerated. The politicians are acting spineless. Why the voters of Wisconsin have found this acceptable or why the mainstream media isn’t holding these politicians’ feet to the fire is baffling. Should the president go into hiding in his bunker when he doesn’t want to sign something into law? Governors of other states have expressed their anger over this ridiculous behavior. South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley called Democratic legislators “cowardly and irresponsible”.

Woah, THREE Google News articles! Yeah, two of them were pretty pointless in the grand scheme, but still!

No, Meghan, the president shouldn’t “go into hiding in his bunker when he doesn’t want to sign something into law.” Because he can veto laws. Individual state legislators can’t. When your party is a small minority in a state government, this is the only thing you can do to stop a bill. So, actually, being on the lam away from your family for weeks on end in order to stand up for the rights of your fellow citizens actually does require some spine. Not that anyone in Meghan’s family would understand that. [Daily Beast]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Crank_Tango

    Megs, shut up and keep buffing the pole with your ass like you're paid to do.

    • Radiotherapy

      You could say the same about Howie Kurtz.

      • Snarke_Diem

        "Howie, shut up and keep buffing the pole with your ass like you're paid to do."

        There. How's that?

        • GhostBuggy

          Awful.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Seriously, Radio, Snarky – STFU. I'm trying to eat lunch here.

            Mehgan – you STFU, too.

    • elviouslyqueer

      This is good news for Lech Walesa. What?

      • Crank_Tango

        Ewwww…megs hates it when creepy foreign dudes get solidarnosche all over her tits. Again.Sent from my iPhone

        • karen

          How is this sent from your iPhone? The new mobile site doesn't even allow me to see the comments, let alone make some…

          • Crank_Tango

            when you get an alert that someone replied to your comment, you can just reply to that email and it posts it! I should have stripped that out tho LOL.

    • chicken_thief

      I was going to go right to 'STFU and show us your tits". Too similar?

  • Ducksworthy

    I shudder to think of Megs bloody trail of Ganesha-like discarded "products of conception"

  • JoshuaNorton

    Hey Megs, bubby, 4 words. "Dancing with the Stars". That should give you enough walking around money while you're waiting for the will to be read.

  • nounverb911

    Meghan how many monkeys does it take to type your biweekly column?

    • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      "It was best of the time it was the blurst of times??!! Stupid monkey!!"

      • nounverb911

        We seem to be in an infinite loop of monkey business today.

    • Radiotherapy

      Wait, her monkey is bi??!? Who knew?

    • JoshuaNorton

      To be, or not to be. That is the wqsp##ziclmrphxxhiowefbjkil'asdguocvi9

    • Lascauxcaveman

      The monkey that came up with the phrase "a society fueled by riots" should get an award, for its beautiful, stunning awfulness. A trophy or something. Made of monkey feces.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    You know who shot down her daddy? Unions… well, the Soviet Union, um, the NVA gunners who got their SA-2 SAMs and 57mm AA guns from the Soviet Union. Father of Megs' 4 other crashes (and possibly the near destruction of the USS Forrestal) was because of union labor… uh yeah that's it.

    • genxr

      Those were public unions, my friend.

    • Terry

      I'd give McCain's incompetence as a pilot a solid assist in the crash.

  • OkieDokieDog

    Damn. I missed the riot? Just my luck. I had to actually pay for stuff today.

    Meghan should stick to (someone ghost-)writing her sexy-time books.

  • mookwrthwilson

    IS SHE REALLY THIS FUCKING STUPID???

    Survey says…..

    YES!

  • Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

    Serially Unemployed Meghan McCain Has Thoughts

    Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

  • Crank_Tango

    not to mention the fact that the going undeniably got tougher for these folks when they went to Illiinois–the easy way out would have been to roll over, see: Democrats, Senate, US.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Awwww, the little fluff bunny thinks she has something to contribute… cute.

    • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

      And she actually thinks people want to hear what she writes.

  • Steverino247

    I fear Meghan's been reinforcing some unfortunate stereotypes about women with blonde hair.

    • http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/cheaphits/reviews/ cheaphits

      The one that says that they are an easy lay?

      • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

        Unfortunately for us, all of them except that one.

    • Angry_Marmot

      At least she doesn't plaster on the makeup like a trollop.

    • Negropolis

      And, the one about the children of the wealthy and influential. Also.

      Alas, the travails of being the daughter of a beer heiress and a professional crash lander.

      Duffgirl, this one's for you.

  • i_AM_ready

    "The last time I checked, you can’t just leave your job when the going gets tough…"

    Oh brother. Meghan, your Dad, remember him? He gave the country Sarah Palin, remember her? Now hold on, think real hard, Sarah Palin quit her job as governor because it was too much work.

    OK now try to put all those things together in your brain. It's hard to make sense of it in light of what you just wrote, isn't it?

    • Extemporanus

      Like, duhhh

      When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping!

    • Snarke_Diem

      And according to Lou Sarah, she "hated that damn job."

  • Worthly Wokette Skum

    She's like Paris Hilton, but without all the deep insight.

    • nounverb911

      or the Herpes.

      • petehammer

        Prove it, nounverb.

        • V572625694

          Running sores or GTFO.

          No, not really.

    • Tommmcatt

      Plus, I have never seen pictures of Meggie with someone's genitals in her mouth.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Yet.

        • Tommmcatt

          Well, it's not like I'm waiting with bated breath or anything…

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Either way, Megs and Paris would be a great team for a comedy movie* idea I have, titled Dumberer and Dumbererer.

      *Comedy movie, reality show, whatever

  • nounverb911

    "The politicians are acting spineless. "
    Just like daddy did with DADT.

    • DemmeFatale

      The writer is acting childish.
      (Nice grammar, Meg.)

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        Yay! go ASU.

    • Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

      How dare you! John McCain had his spine shot off by ChiComs in the Crimean war! Show some respect.

      • moralturpentine

        Five and a half vertabrae, Alan!!

        • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

          That show just got cancelled by Charlie Sheen, I hear.

    • chicken_thief

      Just build the danged spine!

    • Negropolis

      You know who did have a spine? Robocop? I rest my case.

  • Boredw/Gravity

    The union members can just knit that democracy right back together. Problem solved!

  • SorosBot

    Megs thinks the Wisconsin state workers should be making their money the old-fashioned way, by being born the child of the child of a person who created a successful business.

    • Barbara_i

      Ya gotta admit that being a chesty, blond, beer heiress don't exactly turn you off. Look down, what are ya flying there at the thought? Half mast? Shhhh, it's just between you and I and no one else has to know.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Chesty, blonde, beer heiress. Be still, my heart!

        • BaldarTFlagass

          If only she were mute!

          • undeterredbyreality

            Okay, I'm just going to self-censor on that one. But I've got a great response!

          • CapnFatback

            I dunno; rumor has it that it's merely a "serviceable" response.

          • Natl_Indecency_Cmdr

            if only it was better beer!

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Actually, most beer distributors carry at least a couple micros and really good foreign labels, even if most of their biz is in the American lagers, so "yay" for variety!

          • moralturpentine

            Yay to Jimmy Carter's beer deregulation, though perhaps we also owe Billy some credit for that.

          • Dudleydidwrong

            Duct tape…

      • SorosBot

        Well of course I find her attractive, in fact she's probably the best looking famewhoring daughter of a prominent (rightly or wrongly) Republican political figure out there. But it would just be a one-night stand thing, the stupidity is quite the turn-off for a relationship.

        • V572625694

          Shorter version: Hate-fuckable.

          • Barbara_i

            Soros and V get upfisted for honesty.

          • V572625694

            My life is now empty, since I cannot stay logged into Wonkette or respond to comments or edit comments or reckon my p-score.

      • Angry_Marmot

        Half-mast for a chesty blond beer heiress, but the thought of Thanksgiving with the in-laws would have me hoisting a Blue Peter and getting the hell out of there.

    • riverside68

      I like to think of it like this:

      She was born the child of the flyboy fuckup who knocked up and married the child of the man who sold a shit load of beer.

      She's doing okay with such Bad Class Background

      • keepem_sikanpor

        While still married. Classy. All of it.

  • Boredw/Gravity

    Thanks, Meghan, for keeping me up to date with Nikky Haley's opinions on things that don't happen in her state.

  • mavenmaven

    She didn't really actually just quote teabaggin' Nikki Haley as her expert, did she?

    • Extemporanus

      In the Megster's defense, Nikki Haley does know a thing or two about trouble-making unions.

      • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

        And genitalia in her mouth. Allegedly.

  • edgydrifter

    Meg, honey, your reactionary corporatist worldview is showing.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      She's got to tuck those suckers back into her bra.

  • JackObin

    Hopefully, she's having those thoughts on a treadmill.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Yes, this is a tricky and complicated issue.

    It is really simple. The only people who think it is tricky and complicated are:

    a) stupid;

    b) union busting cocksuckers who want people to think that stealing money from workers isn't evil, its just something to be discussed.

    • genxr

      The only thing tricky and complicated is trying to justify Republicans busting unions. Pointing out the fact that unions protect the middle class, and countries with strong unions have strong economies, that's pretty simple. Trying to argue that unions are the cause of all our problems, well that's tricky and complicated my friends. Too complicated to explain, so just trust us mmmmkay?

  • The_Great_Gazoo

    She just needs dirty sexytime. With Ben Quayle, perhaps.

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

      I want to thumbs up for the joke, but thumbs down for the mental image. What do?

    • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

      Dirty Sexy Analingus

      Instant sequel.

    • yyyaz

      I have a strong suspicion Li'l Benny would look like the aftermath of one of Daddy's misadventures in flying after about 5 minutes of sexytime with Megs.

  • Radiotherapy

    And still, it's better writing than Palin…or Howie Kurtz for that matter.

    • chicken_thief

      Tawd, Trig or 'Cuda?

    • lulzmonger

      Yet not as good as any primary school graduate, or the signings of Koko the gorilla.
      Only way you could get that bar down any lower is to dig a ditch first.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I dunno, I really like Palin's travelogues. "Around The World in 80 Days" remains my favorite, although "Himalaya" and "New Europe" are right up there, and the "Pole to Pole" one was pretty cool too.

  • SayItWithWookies

    The last time I checked, you can’t just leave your job when the going gets tough.

    No — you announce you're demmaterializing to create a new identity on Facebook, like Obi Wan Kenobi did. And does Meghan know about the pocket veto? A president can actually veto a law by ignoring it. Regardless, I'd give her a pass if her criticism parallelled that of the Republicans in the previous congressional session, who did nothing but obstruct. Let's see now, where is that link? Hmm, it's either disappeared or it just never existed — whaddya know.

    • riverside68

      And actually you can just leave your job when you don't like it, otherwise it would be slavery.

      So Megan, is it your understanding that the help around the house cannot just leave the job when they feel like it? What happens when they try? Would you mind affirming that in your next column?

      • V572625694

        Of course the help around the eight or nine McCain houses can't leave. They're Illegals.

        Oh, and I predict that Tundra Grifter will make a comment about pocket vetoes right below here.

        • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

          Uncanny.

    • ttommyunger

      This was obviously a clumsy swipe at the Alaskunt.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Ms. McCans wrote: "Should the president go into hiding in his bunker when he doesn’t want to sign something into law?"

    Actually, the President doesn't have to go into hiding. He can simply refuse to sign a bill. It's called a "pocket veto." The legislation then goes back to Congress and must be passed, again, to over-ride his rejection.

    Didn't your Dad teach you anything?

    • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

      I think we need a refresher on the Pocket Veto.

      The Constitution grants the President 10 days to review a measure passed by the Congress. If the President has not signed the bill after 10 days, it becomes law without his signature. However, if Congress adjourns during the 10-day period, the bill does not become law. [from the Senate website]

      • Tundra Grifter

        Thank you for the correction.

        This is so embarassing…

        • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

          You're in good company, T.G. I thought "Veto Powers" was an Italian astronaut.

          • Tundra Grifter

            "Veto – You broke my heart…"

  • el_donaldo

    "That’s why we elect politicians to represent us, so that they can vote and reach a resolution. When they go missing, the result is chaos." My god, that's stupid. She's managed to lose all the respect I had for her, which was pretty much just that amount of respect that large breasts inspire. I mean, it is something, and now she's just thrown it away.

    • keepem_sikanpor

      Breast reduction of sorts?

      • NorthStarSpanx

        I think we've got a glimpse of Bristol's drive time thoughts out loud and whatnot on Arizona radio.

    • lulzmonger

      Yet recent history totally backs her up: Sanford inadvertantly brought about the deaths of thousands when he "hiked the Appalachian trail" – & Bush's extra days of "clearing brush" turned America's major centers into abbatoirs.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    I wondered where this girl went.

    Now I wonder why she came back.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Now, now. You are all so critical. The Megster actually contributed something here. After all, I now know that Nikki Haley took time off from banging fellow Republicans in South Carolina to come out against the actions of the Democratic Party in Wisconsin. Now, if we only knew where Jerry Brown stood on this, we might have a solution.

    • buford2k10

      Did she bang Jerry too?

  • Jerri

    Are you saying a lazy, idiotic, plutocrat doesn't understand what all this bother concerning "the help" is actually about?

    (Thanks for those last few lines at the end there, Jack. That helped bring the blood pressure back down a bit.)

  • fuflans

    i don't know, to me spineless is unleashing a wholly unsuitable VP candidate on the american public b/c you're mad at bill kristol?

    or maybe spineless is completely reversing your position on immigration b/c you are facing a primary challenge from a bagger?

    or maybe spineless is insisting on keeping DADT for no apparent reason and in the face of the military's findings that you explicitly said you would support?

    or maybe that's just senile. it's so hard to tell these days.

  • Snarke_Diem

    How does one "act spineless"? Didn't realize that was something you could fake…

    • SorosBot

      Well it helps, but isn't necessary, to have an exoskeleton or shell of some sort.

      • the_problem_child

        ^ See above.

    • gef05

      You can, and in fact, examples abound.

      For a recent one, see how the Republicans in Wisconsin handled the vote on a bill to limit worker's rights in that state. It happened, oh, just a few days ago.

  • Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

    I think they're all knitting Molotov-cocktail cosies and black bloc style balaclavas with cute little tassels.

  • jim89048

    Yeah, Megs. What the US Senate repugs did from 2006-present is so much classier. Just say NO, loud and proud, to whatever it is you don't like, or have someone put a sekrit hold on it, or the mere hint of the word filibuster…
    Cunt.

  • mereoblivion

    This is smokin' hot raunchy news for Scott Wanker.

  • nounverb911

    Who's playing Madame DeFarge?

  • MinAgain

    When they go missing, the result is chaos.

    They aren't missing; they're in Illinois. It isn't the same thing, at all. Now, if they had been disappeared…

  • JoshuaNorton

    I dunno, guys. If she calls something "spineless" I'd pay attention. She's seen enough of it first hand to be an expert. After all, her daddy's folded more times than my summer lawn furniture.

    • Angry_Marmot

      And he's been left out in the sun longer.

  • owhatever

    And that collective bargaining thing, you know? It's like when the poors find a collection of cheap stuff at K-Mart and riot over who gets the orange shirt that was made in Slingapore or somewhere else in Mexico? At least that's what Daddy says. Mom is too zonko to have an opinion. I'm from Arizona, where we don't put up with that crappola.

  • Cat_Damon

    "The last time I checked, you can’t just leave your job when the going gets tough. If the rest of us did that, we’d be fired."

    Should I even attempt a Sarah Palin joke, or is it too obvious here?

  • OneDollarJuana

    "America cannot function if we are a society fueled by riots."

    That's right! Last time our society was fueled by riots we wound up with civil rights reforms, Medicare, Welfare, increased access to Social Security, the end of the Vietnam War, and got a crooked President ousted. Clearly riots messed things up.

    • MinAgain

      As long as the right people are rioting, I'm all for 'em!

    • Pithaughn

      Exactly, our problem is not nearly enough riots. And guillotines. Are guillotines legal? I want one.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Made one for a school project once. My dad helped.

  • bumfug

    She needs a real job and from the look of her she's well qualified to supply the main ingredient in those breast milk shakes that are all the rage with the kids.

  • Billmatic

    I want to ream her bourgeois with my dictatorship of the proletarian.

  • stew1

    She gives great tusk!

    • Tundra Grifter

      Thank you Mick Fleetwood!

  • samsuncle

    Trust fund bitch doesn't have a clue what it's like to earn a living in the real world.

  • TheMightyHaltor

    The voice in her head is passive.

  • http://thefastertimes.com/absurdnews/ inapewetrust

    hey hey hey, let's cut her a bit of slack now – she knows a thing or two about when the going gets tough. like how everyone, everywhere, all the time ridicules her for being a loathsome spoiled moron. but she just keeps on plugging away, tediously putting one word after the next in that way she does. and then she throws a tantrum and threatens to quit twitter. and then she doesn't. that is "work ethic". she is a working class hero!

  • SayItWithWookies

    If our elected officials who are paid to result disputes can't face each other, how can neighbors or coworkers who disagree?

    Christ on a biscuit, what the hell does that sentence even mean?! And does Meghan even realize that Walker and at least one Republican state senator have both said that they'll negotiate, but said negotiation can't include the collective bargaining rights, which are the only issue that's causing this walkout? If refusing to discuss an issue is what's causing this, Meghan, then the people who refuse to discuss it — namely the Republicans — must somehow be at fault too, right?

    • problemwithcaring

      Dear fucking Christ on a stick — you have to post that entire paragraph, Wooks:

      Our democracy falls apart. America cannot function if we are a society fueled by riots. The Tea Party started the tradition last summer when they took to the streets in record numbers to protest the spending going on in Washington and at the same time creating a distinct divide within the Republican Party. If our elected officials who are paid to result disputes can't face each other, how can neighbors or coworkers who disagree?

      Teaparty started the tradition? What tradition? Of fueling riots?

  • hagajim

    "The last time I checked, you can’t just leave your job when the going gets tough." Unless you are the Snowbilly Grifter…then that's exactly what you do! Shit…I should have read all the other Palin references first….FAIL!

    • gef05

      It's not a fail. It is – and I believe science has proven this statement to be true – it is absolutely impossible to over-state the worthlessness of Former Governor Sarah Palin.

      • bagofmice

        Everybody knows, you never go Full Palin.

  • Hatrabbit

    Punky Walnuts: Hilarious new sit-com about a girl who fills in time between trust fund checks writing 2nd grade essays about grown-up thingies.

  • Gopherit

    This is rich coming from a woman whose father's political beliefs change with the poll numbers. Keep up the bullshit,Megs. Maybe you can get K Lo's job when she finally gets her MRS.

    • keepem_sikanpor

      When K Lo get's her MRSA.
      /fixed.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Should the president go into hiding in his bunker …?

    No, the president of your party plays an air-force-base-hopping game of hide-and-seek around the country in a 747. The vice-president goes into hiding in his bunker.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Math is hard! Let's go shopping!

  • Not_So_Much

    Is Tits McGee blabbering about this because of the dairy angle?

    It had to be said — I'm not proud of it.

  • http://wonkette.com i_like_tigers

    Ms. McCain is like Miller Lite – I know I shouldn't love it, but I still do.

    • metamarcisf

      Ms. McCain is like Light Beer from Miller. When I do it (her) I have to take a leak every three minutes. Great taste and/or less filling. Huh?

  • PublicLuxury

    She thinks that 14 missing state legislators is chaos? Just wait until the Teatards pull their cars, buses, campers, trailers, semi tucks, and mobility scooters over on the freeway. Let the chaos begin. With life threatening accidents. Insulin dependent diabetics in a sugar coma behind the wheel is always lots of fun.

  • PublicLuxury

    Does our Meghan understand the difference between state and national politics? Nope.

  • MinAgain

    Q. How can you tell Meghan McCain has been typing on the computer?
    A. There's white-out on the computer screen.

    • riverside68

      You know why men like blond jokes?
      Because they simple enough to understand.

  • glamourdammerung

    Does her father or "Uncle Lieberman" know of her opinion of anti-democratic, obstructionist tactics?

  • Bluestatelibel

    This is sort of like Charlie Sheen telling us how to quit drugs and be sane, but in an eighth-grade Charlie Sheen writing style.

  • ttommyunger

    Nice artwork on that cover, but who is the tart Megan is holding on her trunk?

  • Beetagger

    Meghan has all the class of Fox News and the deep understanding of USA Today.

    • Rotundo_

      More like Tiger Beat on the latter citation.

  • Snarke_Diem

    Meghan girl: time for that breast reduction. They're robbing your brain of nourishment.

  • CapnFatback

    Now there are thousands of teachers storming the streets.

    Really, what is going on in that mylar balloon that she calls a head? Does she imagine thousands of frumpy forty-something women dressed in earth tones pulling Reginald Denny from his truck, pelting him with apples, and clapping erasers in his face? Her understanding of a labor protest has all the depth and nuance of a fart joke and her imagination occupies the same infantile fantasyland that Homer Simpson enters when confronted with the phrase "Land of Chocolate." Once you get past her two big boobs, you discover an even bigger boob underneath.

    She's a child, is what I'm saying.

    • Bluestatelibel

      But those teachers can pinch you HARD and lob erasers at you. No, sorry, wrong teachers, I'm remembering Catholic School.

  • Limeylizzie

    Insanely OT, but I was so moved/amazed/amused by something that just happened here in Harlem and no-one is home so I have no-one to share with, other than you my Wonketteers. I was coming out of the subway by my apartment at 110th Central Park North , where many of South Harlem's better crack dealers and users hang out and I saw this middle-aged Japanese couple, who were clearly terrified and lost, so went over and asked them if they needed help and they spoke not one word of English, so the guy who sells newspapers came over , asessed the situation and yelled out to the assorted men hanging around "Hey who speaks Japanese" -I was , of course, somewhat astounded when a huge, elderly back man yelled "I do" , he proceded to bow and then talk to them in fluent Japanese! The couple were thrilled and confused , as was I, he sent them on their way and then I asked how come he spoke such good Japanese , to which he answered "Oh shit man, I was a POW in the Korean War" ths is why I fucking love Harlem, it is the centre of the universe.

    • onemoretime79

      I smile, at the human part of the story you have just shared and I thank you.

      Yet I can't help but wonder, which way the man sent them, when he sent them "on their way". Because if I were him, ah, nevermind. He is a bigger man than me.

      Because I'm a woman. And I can't give directions worth shit, in any language.

    • Tundra Grifter

      LL: Great story. It does sound like that gentleman of the ethnic persuasian got his wars mixed up – or the folks he was speaking to were Korean.

      • Limeylizzie

        Maybe he meant WW2, but he would be about 80 or 90 and he didn't look that old, but I suppose he must have been. Either that or they were Korean , maybe he speaks both! It was an awe-inspiring momemt either way.

        • zhubajie

          Guards at WW II era Japanese POW camps were often ethnic Koreans. Korea was part of the Japanese Empire.

          • Tundra Grifter

            There you go with those Liberal facts! I did not know that (obviously).

            So, during WW II male Koreans were POW camp guards and females were "comfort" women?

            Between the Empire of Japan and Nazi Germany, I'm sure glad we won The Big One!

          • zhubajie

            Yes. Some of them, at least. Koreans were drafted from about 1942 on.

          • zhubajie

            One rather silly person once tried to persuade me that the NanjingMassacre was done by Korean conscripts trying to make Japan look bad!In '37, though, there were no Korean conscripts.On 3/4/11, zhu bajie wrote:> Yes. Some of them, at least. Koreans were drafted from about 1942 on.>>

        • Tundra Grifter

          LL: It is still a great story – and since I've been corrected (please see below) I should have just stayed out of it…

    • Barbara_i

      It was wonderful of you to aid this couple and the gentleman who stepped in was certainly my kind of man. The world is still full of delightful people, starting with you Miss Lizzie.

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      Love the newspaper guy–he is there every day, has some idea of who hangs around and figures someone will be able to help out a confused couple.

      Anyone who doesn't love NYC (I lived in the East Village about one hundred years ago) has a screw loose.

    • SayItWithWookies

      That's a very cool story. Many years ago, my then-girfriend and I were visiting her sister in Manhattan. While at dinner, gf went across the street to buy a pack of cigs. After we had finished, paid up, and were two blocks away, she looked in her wallet and gasped because she was missing a fifty. She realized she had probably paid for the cigs with it, and then left without getting all her change, so she turned around and dashed back to the shop she'd gotten them, even though her sister and I both figured the odds of getting it back more than a half-hour later were bad. Lo and behold, she returned, saying the proprieter recognized her as she came in and handed her two twenties, saying he knew she'd be back for them.
      more…

    • SayItWithWookies

      cont'd…
      That same night, my gf and I wandered around town all night, including some shopping at this late-night street market. Later that evening I noticed I'd missed $50 worth of vinyl records I'd bought a couple of hours earlier. I'm not usually so absent-minded, but it had been a busy day. The next morning we went back to the open-air market, which was completely gone — but I went into a storefront right there, and told the guy behind the counter that I'd left a stack of records there last night. He reaches down and grabs my stack of vinyl and hands it to me.
      For that and many other reasons, when anyone ever says New York is a rude town, I tell them it's the friendliest city in the world.

  • genxr

    Her boobs hit me! I'm hit!

    • Angry_Marmot

      I'm going down…

  • Rotundo_

    Other poli-brats get jobs (or sort-of-jobs from friends of daddy) and try to lead lives, get married and make a life. Is this one going to do this shit forever? Walnuts does not have that many miles on him, and once he is out of the business who will be listening? I mean, other than those of us snarking on the little dumbass?

    • zhubajie

      Once the old man finally retires, she will run for his seat. Probably win.

  • neiltheblaze

    God, Megs – you are so out of your fucking depth. And so blissfully unaware of it too.

  • OurHoboSenator

    I dunno, this is pretty insightful for someone with such limited life experience and exposure to the wider world. Wait, this is the thread about the fetus testifying in the Ohio House, right?

    • bagofmice

      I dunno. Is it blonde?

  • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

    Was it quitting when John McCain pressed the "eject" button in the third plane he crashed?

    Seriously. I have no comprehension of how an heir to a fortune can feel entitled to scribble out hyperbolic screed regarding what a fireman, teacher, or janitor should do to protect their rights and care for their kids.

    I've had it, Megs. No tits. Just GTFO.

  • onemoretime79

    The American people need another McCain in politics like we need moar Bushes. When has Meagan ever worked? ("Working" the truth doesn't count.)

  • Angry_Marmot

    I think Meghan better figure out exactly who knits democracy together while her relatives do everything they can to unravel it.

  • Snarke_Diem

    Meghan's Columbia tuition was probably paid up front, in full, so they were only too happy to just let her coast for 4 years and give her a degree.

  • El Pinche

    God damn functioning ejection seats.

  • Natl_Indecency_Cmdr

    sometimes the knitting gets kind of frayed. but anyone with half a brain can fix it.

  • hollywooddood

    She was born that way. Her boobs are bigger than her brain.

  • mumbly_joe

    Actually, when the president decides to hide out rather than sign something into law, after two weeks, it's vetoed by default. It's called a "pocket veto" and I learned about that in 7th-grade US History. With all due respect to our Sara Benincasa, who is totally bbfs with Megghers, and I do happen to agree the that the "hahaha Meghan McCain is a bimbo" jokes do get a bit stale and sometimes go a bit far, but c'mon. Come. On.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Your description of a pocket veto was corrected upstream. If the prez doesn't sign the bill it automatically becomes law unless the bill is passed by congress at the end of a session and congress adjourns. Then if the prez doesn't sign we have a pocket veto. Megan is still a bimbo and that can't be vetoed.

  • http://www.twoeightnine.com twoeightnine

    Have you ever just sat back and wondering how many dicks Meg has in her at this very moment?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "If she had as many sticking out of her as she's had stuck in to her, she'd look like a damn porcupine."

    • http://www.twoeightnine.com twoeightnine

      It's always a number greater than zero.

  • http://theblueelite.blogspot.com simplyblue7

    "How 'bout that daughter of mine, heeeennngggghhhh!?"

  • Blendergoathead

    You people. You *know* Megs reads teh Wonkette, and will most likely be sobbing herself to sleep tonight… huge, undulating sobs, while the tears roll off her cheeks and into… oh never mind, you know what I mean, you pervs.

    Megs, as has been said ad nauseum: pack it up and GTFO; you have no fucking clue.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    I went over there and read the whole article. Wow, such trenchant analysis! Megs devoted five entire paragraphs to this issue, which is apparently "tricky and complicated." Thus she makes no real attempt to understand it. I'd like to say something snarky but I'm too busy being annoyed that this nitwit has a public forum to spew such inanities.

    In case no one has said it yet, Megs: tits or GTFO.

    • mourningnmerica

      Took the words right out of my mouth. I was going to say "Shut up and show us your tits."

    • mumbly_joe

      Five paragraph form-essay for a "tricky and complicated" issue? Well, hell, at least she writes like I did in 7th-grade US history, even if she doesn't have the knowledge base to back up said writing.

  • Redhead

    Since when is Megs an authority on jobs, protests, complicated concepts, responsible actions or anything other than showing her boobs on twitter?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Forget Palin. Can we hate WALNUTS! for unleashing his dipshit daughter on the public? Christ almighty, the Viet Cong broke every other part of him, but they had to leave his manhood intact?

    • bagofmice

      If there was ever a poster child for "Things I can't raise"…

  • http://wonkette.com PresBeeblebrox

    I also hear the Governor of American Samoa is all pissed at something the Vermont State Senate did.

  • metamarcisf

    In 1840, in an attempt to block a banking bill put forth in the democrat-controlled Illinois State Legislature, Rep. Abe Lincoln (R) dived out of a second story window in the Springfield Capitol to avoid a quorum. The following year, the caucus began meeting on the third floor so this pox on democracy would never be repeated.

    • mourningnmerica

      Another good post. I continue to hope that they will let you out of the doghouse, with that brutal -114.

      • CapnFatback

        That pee stays blood red as long as he keeps his day job of posting in Big Breitbartland.

      • undeterredbyreality

        He wears that badge proudly. I always feel guilty giving him the upfist.

    • AddHomonym

      Daguerreotype or it didn't happen!

  • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

    C'mon Meghan take your shirt off and take a picture of them for me… ah please, just leave your bra on…. but it'll be like you're wearing a swimsuit… no, i promise i wont show it to anyone… pleeeease.

  • hellbabe

    one word: bimbo

  • deanbooth

    Democrat state senators
    Democratic legislators

    The naive stupidity in this article is stunning. She can't even get the standard conservative asshole memes right.

  • forgracie

    What to think…what to think. Isn't this covered in the heiress-to-beer fortune-daughter-of crazy-senator handbook?

    No? Dammit woman–you got your next book contract! There must be threes of you out there needing this sage advice…..

  • Natl_Indecency_Cmdr

    you know, i spent 3 hours at the capitol today protesting gov wanker's budget bill and everything else he does. there were thousands of us. (not that it was covered anywhere. i mean, it wasn't, you know, "news".) i invite ms mccain to come to madison and learn about what we are doing and why. her comment about 'spineless' is an insult to all of us, all of you, and, also, clams and spiders.

    • glamourdammerung

      So was there anything about that bill from the party of "limited government" trying to ban prank calls that totally has nothing to do with Walker making an ass of himself?

  • abelilnkinverb

    I still wish to free MMc from the vice like jaws of her father's opinions and show her the wonderful world of facts. Oh the ambitious liberal in me.

  • NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    Should Meghan McCain break away from her neocon sell-out parents?

    Does Meghan McCain like the controlled media?
    Does Meghan McCain play dumb about 9/11?

    • smokefilledroommate

      I'm guessing your point is:

      Pam Geller
      Gary Bauer
      John Hagee
      David Horowitz
      play dumb re 9/11
      no questions re 9/11

      What you have done will be the saving of Israel
      You'll be remembered forever for this
      And not only that you've been paid for your efforts
      Pretty good wages for one little kiss

      (Did I get that right?)

      • SorosBot

        From all the crazy's comments,. his(?) main point seems to be "Jews did 9/11, barfle nargle vous bah weep grah nah weep nin ni bon klattu barada nikto".

        • smokefilledroommate

          It's like a keyword bot. I think my favorite "post" is the one about Trump, Rummy and Cheney fucking the fuhrer in Mubarek's mother's bunker or something like that..

        • glamourdammerung

          I just checked with the other Jews (since we all know each other being in that global conspiracy and such), but I am sad to confirm that 9/11 was not one of our operations.

          • NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

            Glamour Boy by The Guess Who

      • NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

        What you have done will be the saving of Israel
        You'll be remembered forever for this
        Not only that you've been paid for your efforts
        Pretty good wages for one little kiss

    • SorosBot

      Also, I see smokefilledroomate got the song from your comments elsewhere; that's actually a good song from a good play, from before Lloyd Webber disappeared up his own ass and turned to shit (around the time Cats' and Phantom's success got to his head), and thanks for trying to ruin it for me. Didn't work.

      • NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

        "sell out the nation"

    • BaldarTFlagass

      You better stay out of this.

      – Why? –

      It's none of your business.
      You want to be a hero?
      I'd rather be a chicken man.

      – A what? –

      A chicken man.
      Did you ever see a farmer's wife?

      -Let go of me!-

      It's peaceful, man.

    • SorosBot

      OK, here's my new favorite of his, from some celebrity gossip website; apparently Michael Jackson, Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen are all victims of the Jewish 9/11 conspiracy. Um, you wouldn't happen to be Randy Quaid, would you?

      "What did Michael Jackson try to say?
      Charlie Sheen questions Obama about 9/11
      despite AIPAC controlled media censorship.
      Mel Gibson does not play dumb about 9/11 either. "

      Oh, on further investigation, he made this exact same comment on a whole bunch of sites. Go see a shrink.

      • glamourdammerung

        But I think the random spambot was accusing me of being like Judas.

        I am not sure whether to laugh, be disgusted, or suggest someone needs to take their meds.

  • Natl_Indecency_Cmdr
  • rocktonsam

    Has Megs visited her new neighbor BPalin yet?

    That would be cool.

    • smokefilledroommate

      If Trig's visiting, he could teach Megs how to write an argumentative essay.

  • smokefilledroommate

    Sounds like Megs needs another trip to Vegas.. Life is hard being so edgy and opinionated.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    A question regarding the headline–

    Is Serially Unemployed the airhead bimbo with money equivalent of never had a job and never will have one?

  • undeterredbyreality

    I know it's wrong and everything, but after her appearances on Maddow wherein she expressed somewhat progressive ideas on sexual preferences and all, I kinda thought she might be coming around a bit, and I was hoping so, 'cuz despite it all, I think she's kinda cute. And I could tolerate cute, dumb & liberal. But I can't tolerate cute, dumb and repubnant.

    • SorosBot

      From the bits I've seen where the media gives her a mouthpiece, she seems to be what the Libertarian douches claim to be; economically regressive and on the side of the overlords, but also in support of personal freedoms.

      In reality, most self-professed Randroids at best give lip-service to, and at worst actively oppose, personal liberty (seriously, Pauls, how can you claim to support "freedom" and be part of the forced birth movement at the same time?), so at least she's not as bad as those assholes.

  • lulzmonger

    Perhaps a little Reality Therapy is all Meghan needs.

    My Rx? A night working in the ER of a Madison hospital … a FRIDAY night … at the end of the month.

    PROTIP: don't forget your Nilodor & your rubber socks, girl.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      a FRIDAY night … at the end of the month
      …with a full moon, and a guy in the rubber room who is still bouncing off the walls and wailing his aria after being hit with enough bring-me-downs & antipsychotics to have dropped one of Bush's Clydesdales to its knees.

  • Negropolis

    Such wisdom from the mouth of a beer heiress, this is.

  • bagofmice

    The last time I checked, you can’t just leave your job when the going gets tough.
    McCain should know better than most. Never go full Palin.

  • Lost_Teabaggers

    Excellent riposte Jack…yes, I was trying to think of something funny and witty to say…along the lines of a trust fund baby attacking Democrats for standing up for the rights of teachers and nurses, two of the most thankless important jobs in the world….but all I arrived at is: Megs, Stfu and lift up your shirt…those and your last name are the only reason anyone pays attention to you.

  • kristihinds

    i just came by your article and it get my attention. i thought i'ld leave my first comment just to appreciate the hard work you done.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    You can easily make an adjective into an adverb, Meggiepoopoos, by adding an -ly. Politicians are spineless. They act spinelessly.
    Try it. English can be fun.

  • AKHottie

    Briskit Palin needs a ghostwriter for her "autobiography", lol. "Not Afraid of Life". Not afraid of lying, you stupid receptical.

    Sorry, was choking so hard, I couldn't type. OMG why can't I get a job like inventing an autobiography? Jeebus life sux and is majorly unfair.

    Bar closing soon. haVE CLEARED The tables. Pardon caps…..

    • zhubajie

      So MM will be the Ghost? Gee.

  • crybabyboehner

    As an heiress with a formidable rack, Megs is on call 24/7. She knows that she would lose this demanding job if she ever took a day off.

  • http://www.fifthinternational.org/content/education-programme 4TheTurnstiles

    Suzi Creamcheese… what's got into ya?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKITpVovTAE

    IT CAN'T HAPPEN HERE

  • Plowmon

    Ohhhh, Meghan, sit on my trunk baby…

    • DashboardBuddha

      Elephant – "Meg? Can we talk? I'm an elephant. I poke my trunk into lion shit, soiled hay, and between my mate's legs to see when she's ready to party. But damn, girl…could you take a bath?"

  • rickmaci

    This just proves the two reasons that Republicans should not breed with other Republicans. First it produces spawn that also become Republicans. Second, its like incest so their children are likely to be imbeciles.

  • GOPCrusher

    Its always hilarious when trust-fund babies weigh in on worker related subjects, but then to go on with asking why the people of Wisconsin are tolerating this, has it occurred to Tits McCain that maybe the people of Wisconsin agree with the Democratic Senators and the public employees union?
    Democracy. How does it work?