U.S. Military Preparing For 'Humanitarian' Intervention In Libya

• The Pentagon has announced that it is "repositioning" U.S. war ships, aircraft and "nearly 2,000 Marines" in the Mediterranean Sea, to "provide for flexibility [when we invade Libya]." According to America's top diplomat Hillary Clinton, the United States and its aircraft carriers believe that "there will be the need for support for humanitarian intervention. We also know that there will probably, unfortunately, be the need for rescue missions." It's also very unfortunate that the U.N. Security Council's recent sanctions against Libya include a bizarre clause which grants immunity from war crime prosecutions to all Security Council-authorized interventions in Libya. Haha, so yeah, this authorized intervention could be "a friendly U.N. peacekeeping force, sent to distribute hobo beans and bottled water." It could also be "2,000+ Marines providing cover fire while Navy SEALs rescue the oil fields, Mission Accomplished." (We report, you decide!) Support the Troops, Remember the Maine, Loose Lips Sink Ships, Blah Blah Blah, War Forever. [ McClatchy / Reuters ]

• "A pizza feud outside Philadelphia turned ugly after a pizzeria owner was arrested for planting mice at a competitors' restaurant ... Police Chief Michael Chitwood labeled the incident as 'food terrorism.'" Uh? [ Fox News ]

• Are you a "bro," sometimes called a "male," in Olde English? That is too bad, since apparently our Western Values are making you very depressed and eroding your self-esteem. Sorry! [ BBC ]