LAUGHABLE  3:03 pm February 25, 2011

White House Press Secretary: It’s ‘Routine’ For White House To Meet With Lobbyists

by Jack Stuef

Yesterday, a great way to start the new job:

The White House meets with all kinds of people all the time! It probably meets with David Koch impersonators! You can probably even walk in there with your dick hanging out and the president will still talk to you!

Hey, here’s a tip: maybe don’t meet with lobbyists? [YouTube]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 59 comments }

harry_palmer February 25, 2011 at 3:07 pm

How else are the plutocrats going to convey their instructions? It makes the fierce glare that says "don't fuck this up, Barry" that much more effective.

Weenus299 February 25, 2011 at 3:13 pm

He's racist against aliens.

nounverb911 February 25, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Lobbyists? When did we reelect Bush again?

Billmatic February 25, 2011 at 4:00 pm

2008, but he's black this time and not mentally challenged, so it's ok.

BarackMyWorld February 25, 2011 at 6:23 pm

To be fair, Barry is only 1/100th as terrible as Bush.

Sure, we're not happy with him right now, but he's going to do something again at some point Bush would never do, and we'll love him even more.

Negropolis February 26, 2011 at 12:58 pm

but he's going to do something again at some point Bush would never do

What do you think that is? I think he'll drop in on an aircraft carrier with a flight suit and mission accomplished banner, with the difference being that our involvement in the wars will actually be over.

A man can dream, can't he?

Schmannnity February 25, 2011 at 3:22 pm

When the "routine" was established by Bush and Cheney and Ken Lay, you might want to rethink the routine.

SorosBot February 25, 2011 at 3:24 pm

I don't think it's routine for the White House to meet with lobbyists, or anyone else, because as an inanimate object it is incapable of meeting, which involves interactions between living beings.

Tommmcatt February 25, 2011 at 3:27 pm

And it really depends a lot on what your definition of "meet" is, right? If the White House knew somebody already, could it really be said that they are "meeting" them? And don't get me started on the word "with".

V572625694 February 25, 2011 at 3:45 pm

I miss Clinton too.

Tommmcatt February 25, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Hold me.

DustBowlBlues February 25, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Goddamit. Isn't it enough that we have to put up with all these fucking English majors? Now we have a BS in Biology, too? No one associated with the wonkeratti is supposed to know shit about science or the maths.

V572625694 February 28, 2011 at 10:43 am

The English majors aren't nearly as irritating as the German obergruppenführers.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 25, 2011 at 9:06 pm

…as an inanimate object it is incapable of meeting…

I dunno, after being the site of so much (stupid, stupid) history it could very well have developed its own guardian spirit. A Dumbass Loci, if you will.

Besides, by the end of his term Reagan was practically an inanimate object, and he had tons of meetings.

ShaveTheWhales February 25, 2011 at 11:06 pm

I can give but one fist for Dumbass Loci.

It might be more accurate to say "tons of meetings happened in Reagan's vicinity".

WriteyWriterton February 27, 2011 at 12:32 am

Kind of like Dumbass Horizon, I should think. If I thought.

Barrelhse February 25, 2011 at 11:24 pm

The original Furry.

el_donaldo February 25, 2011 at 3:32 pm

I thought Obama's schedule was pretty much filled up with Bill Ayers, Jeremiah Wright, SIEU leaders, and George Soros. So unless those lobbyists have a action-ready plan to destroy capitalism, freedom, and Christianity in their hands, they're probably going to be cooling their heels.

SexySmurf February 25, 2011 at 3:38 pm

He's talking about lobbyists from the Muslim Brotherhood.

Boredw/Gravity February 25, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Huh. Cheney's entire staff was comprised of active working lobbyists, setting national policy.

V572625694 February 25, 2011 at 3:46 pm

And drawing a sweet, sweet SES salary and benefits while doing it! Now they just have to get by on their pensions and unemployment.

neiltheblaze February 25, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Well, you gotta give 'em points for honesty. After all, lobbyists are their constituency. 'Cause we sure the fuck aren't.

Snarke_Diem February 25, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Oops – Jay forgot that he was reading from his Dana Perino cheat sheet. His assistant has been terminated.

Negropolis February 26, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Awww, Dana Perino. I miss messing with that vacuous politico.

V572625694 February 25, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Aren't there child labor laws anymore? Couldn't they find a grownup to do this job? If they're going to use illegals, you'd think at least it'd be Mexicans, because they can touch up the shrubbery on the White House lawn between press gaggles.

Radiotherapy February 25, 2011 at 3:47 pm

But he won't be meeting with Union lobbyists anytime soon.

Bonzos_Bed_Time February 25, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Unfortunately I don't think he has any events in Madison coming up anytime soon.

GodShammgod February 25, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Now watch this drive.

Negropolis February 26, 2011 at 1:07 pm

WIN

Extemporanus February 25, 2011 at 3:56 pm

In Jay Carney's defense, "lobbyists" is the internal White House term for "Republican politicians".

sati_demise February 25, 2011 at 3:57 pm

It is only routine if the lobbyist wants to get a no bid contract for their corporate overlord to buy a power plant. Or a bunch of power plants.

MinAgain February 25, 2011 at 4:00 pm

It’s ‘Routine’ For White House To Meet With Lobbyists

That's right. It's only the public ass-kissing and frequent sexual favors that are unusual.

DustBowlBlues February 25, 2011 at 4:07 pm

If they had existed in Shakespeare's England, they would have replaced the line about the lawyers.

DustBowlBlues February 25, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Please tell me at least some of them are from the AFl-CIO, AFT, AFSCME, SEIU, Teamster's (thugs' got no handy acronym) etc. OH, and IATSE. When I negotiated with the City of Seattle, IATSE never bothered showing up when the issue involved us non-artistic types. So that sign totally impressed me. Fucking IATSE? So where's the SAG and Actors Equity and, fuck, whatever the writers are called. The Guild? The other Guild? Same Guild? Fuck the Middle Ages.

BTW-Editors: I sent money to the Wisconsin group you linked to. Thanks for the tip. Couldn't MIchelle at least send them some fresh-veggie trays? Gunny sacks full of fresh fruit? Something? Even TAs can't live on pizza alone.

PS sent an email to the WH about supporting labor. Help me flood them with emails? Because I don't think a single message from OK is going to impress them much.

jim89048 February 25, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Yo, DBB, your pee looks awesome!

vulpes82 February 25, 2011 at 5:16 pm

It's the Writer's Guild.

ETA: Hey, who downfisted me! I was just answering DBB's question; I wasn't be a smart-ass or anything.

vulpes82 February 25, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Upon your urging and request, I just sent my own messages (asking for a stronger support of the union protests and for calling for Gaddafi's resignation) to the WH. You're probably right that it won't do anything, but it did make me feel better, more civic or something.

Jukesgrrl February 26, 2011 at 4:06 pm

I called the White House public opinion line at 3 p.m. yesterday. Apparently they're only interested in hearing opinions from the east coast, because they were "closed for the day" already and there no way to leave a message.

Cicada February 25, 2011 at 4:52 pm

You guys know that there are lobbyists who lobby for good things, right? There are lobbyists for environmental groups, lobbyists for gay rights, lobbyists for labor, lobbyists for immigration reform, etc.

Okay, okay, I'll shut up now.

XOhioan February 25, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Maybe he was referring to Larry Summers and Tim Geithner. Easy mistake to make.

Snarke_Diem February 25, 2011 at 5:21 pm

I think Jay's kinda cute. Would be happy to lobby him for some couch time, or to "serve" as his "intern" in a Lewinskyesque way . . . heh heh heh

KenLayIsAlive February 25, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Whoa. Give it a minute at least. I think you're falling victim to the "I'm Usually Staring At Robert Gibbs Right Now" effect.

It's a medical condition, but it will wear off and you'll see this guy as the goofy, fuzzy headed, 15-year-old-in-a-blazer that he is.

WriteyWriterton February 27, 2011 at 12:39 am

At some f*^#in' good-government high-schooly thing.

chascates February 25, 2011 at 5:23 pm

But don't the lobbyists have to use the service entrance?

ttommyunger February 25, 2011 at 5:35 pm

See what you started, Bubba. Now everybody's coming to the White House for blowjobs.

sati_demise February 25, 2011 at 6:40 pm

oh so win

ttommyunger February 25, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Me happy too!

Hatrabbit February 25, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Oh, those nice lobbyists, exercising their "collective bargaining rights".

I'm so glad the President approves, he's been so silent on the matter lately.

Buzz Feedback February 25, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Mr. Claire Shipman, Prince Consort of the Villagers

Negropolis February 26, 2011 at 1:11 pm

I couldn't believe I found our who his wife was. She's this bubbly media-type, and he's like a high school nerd (I should know; I was one. Who am I kidding, I still am). Does not compute.

BarackMyWorld February 25, 2011 at 9:14 pm

I'm sure this visit is more ethical than posting an article about memorial wikipedia pages on a humor blog.

KenLayIsAlive February 25, 2011 at 10:01 pm

lol not enough p in a thousand kiddie pools for this.

UpstateYorkee February 25, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Jesus… this guy is making Palin look good. Is this a ploy to guilt Gibbs into coming back?

KenLayIsAlive February 25, 2011 at 10:08 pm

This is the "at least we're more transparent than Sarah Palin" argument. Why do I feel we'll be hearing this a lot in the run up to 2012?

bumfug February 25, 2011 at 10:44 pm

When asked why Obama was so eager to betray his core principles to get Republican cooperation, Carney replied, "Hey, everybody knows they're all owned by the same guys."

Negropolis February 26, 2011 at 12:53 pm

This man is no Robert Gibbs, and that's not saying much since I hated his fucking guts, too (at times).

I know the nature of the job (bullshit artist) isn't exactly the best kind of job by which to make friends, but Carney isn't a good choice. Gibbs was a likable enough geek; Carney has the personality of an ash tree.

KenLayIsAlive February 27, 2011 at 9:02 pm

I think they judge these guys on how willing they are to insult the "professional left".

'Cause they clearly don't vet them for being able to field obvious questions about possible corruption. That was horrible. I've never seen any of these guys so flustered.

Negropolis February 26, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Is it routine to entertain your average American guest, like myself, Mr. Carney? Could I just call up for an appointment? No, not for the tour the place, but to bend your guys' ear for a second or two, or do I have to come with two sacks of money in each hand with big "$" signs on them like in the cartoons?

gurukalehuru February 27, 2011 at 8:00 am

Option B, of course

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