DINOSAURS AND ALSO ANCIENT REPTILES  12:08 pm February 25, 2011

Newt Gingrich Bragging On Twitter About Dinosaur Skull He Owned

by Jack Stuef

Ummmmm
Hey, it’s everyone’s favorite adulterous grifter, on the Twitter. What is Newt up to these days? “Great visit to the academy of natural sciences in philadelphia today-love the dinosaurs and the historic collection,” he wrote Tuesday. When some librul jokester tweeted back, “Come on, you don’t really believe in dinosaurs,” Newt responded with the tweet above. Is it legal to keep a dinosaur’s skull in your office? Probably not. But if Newt does it, it is. And then Newt tweeted “@OneTokenBlack” for no apparent reason.

Here’s from a transcript of an old PBS interview Newt once did:

INTERVIEWER: Why did you hang it up? What does it represent?

NEWT GINGRICH: We didn’t hang it. It’s actually on a large platform because a Tyrannosaurus rex skull is very big. I always wanted to be a dinosaur collector or a zookeeper, and [when] I had a chance to decorate my office like I wanted to, since I was speaker, I really wanted it there to break things up. I wanted it there to say, “Let’s not take ourselves too seriously. Let’s not assume that what we’re doing is life and death.”

See, it was legal because Newt could have anything he wanted in the speaker’s office. A sandbox of cocaine? Legal. A desk that was just a pile of dead hookers? Legal. Having affairs in there? Legal. The president having affairs? Not legal! Take that guy’s blowjobs VERY SERIOUSLY, not your own blowjobs.

Also on Tuesday, somebody with the handle “OneTokenBlack” tweeted this:

Cute.

Newt wanted to respond, because he obviously really identified with this. But he couldn’t think of anything:

Send your digits, Newt!

The humble beginnings of some wonderful new adultery? [Twitter/PBS]

 
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{ 131 comments }

Sammie February 25, 2011 at 12:11 pm

What wife was that?

Barbara_i February 25, 2011 at 12:21 pm

I'm stunned that he's ever had a wife before. You wouldn't find that congressional gavel floating in my hot tub, if you know what I mean.

PsycWench February 25, 2011 at 12:43 pm

The marital histories of Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh make me realize that some women really can't be explained. Sure, Rush has a lot of money but how much can you enjoy money when you have to sleep next to that every night?

Mahousu February 25, 2011 at 1:05 pm

But that's the beauty(?) of being married to Rush – none of that bed stuff is required. For the woman, I mean.

Mumbletypeg February 25, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Ditto for Ivana, Marla etc. of Trump Trophy Wife fame.
Though they begat actual Trump offspring which I guess means, it ain't bragging if you really did him.

Negropolis February 25, 2011 at 11:40 pm

Yeah, the resulting children from those 'marriages' are kind of a indicator of the moral weakness of the trophies. Now, if they were also getting something on the side, having children with the Trumpsters is breaking even.

bflrtsplk February 25, 2011 at 3:09 pm

And the smell! Hoooooooweeeee!

DashboardBuddha February 25, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Beat me to it. I was going to ask if it were legal to display the skull of one of his wives that way.

elviouslyqueer February 25, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Ginny Thomas, obvs.

glamourdammerung February 25, 2011 at 5:15 pm

But Ginni Thomas had a history of being in a cult that used brainwashing.

And then there was the Lifespring cult too.

donner_froh February 25, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Did the T-Rex have fossil Jesus riding on it?

JustPixelz February 25, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Yes! It was wrapped in the Shroud of Turin which was on sale a Penney's and looks exactly like their Tuscan Village Collection bath towel. The so-called "Jesus fossil" was really just some pita bread that — like all pita bread — looks like it has a face on it. But Newt's a good Catholic boy and he ate "the body of Christ" on the way back to the office.

Walkinwiddaking February 25, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Yo, donner_froh. You could easily be a marketer for the Intelligent Design folks. They could get a lot of mileage out of the Jesus/T-Rex thing, I'm sure of it.

Negropolis February 25, 2011 at 11:41 pm

LOL! @ "Fossil Jesus"

arihaya February 25, 2011 at 12:13 pm

you mean the Dinosaur skull, that was planted by the Devil to deceive mankind to think that Earth is not created by God 6,000 years ago in six days, as written in Bible ?

user-of-owls February 25, 2011 at 12:51 pm

They never mention the fact that God got Sundays off because he was in the Pipefitters, Stevedores and Omnipotent Beings Local 321.

LiveToServeYa February 25, 2011 at 12:13 pm

"The man was taken to the zoo to see the giraffe. After gazing at it for a long time, he proclaimed 'There ain't no such animal.'"

weejee February 25, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Probly talked to his fellow lizard people skull, too, also.

Alas poor Ronbo, I knew him well Boner

EatsBabyDingos February 25, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Bang a Gong, Baby!

mereoblivion February 25, 2011 at 12:36 pm

2nd time/1 mrng: Bngo!

Wilcoxyz February 25, 2011 at 12:14 pm

It was there as a prop for when he met the nubile congressional aides: Do you like touching old bones?

Not_So_Much February 25, 2011 at 12:14 pm

I don't believe this story because if it were true, that fat, greazy fuck obviously would have eaten it long, long ago.

Lascauxcaveman February 25, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Probably one of those museum-gift-shop replicas, made of plastic resin to 1/4 scale. Therefore, not edible.

(Of course, that didn't keep that big bowl of wax fruit from disappearing from his office that one time…)

Fuck Toad February 25, 2011 at 12:49 pm

How dare you accuse this Great American of something so communist as eating fruit, like he's an Obama or something.

donner_froh February 25, 2011 at 12:14 pm

An intern in Newt's office typed "Hit me up fo shizzle" in answer to One Token Black but then deleted it since he thought no one would think that something so lame could be done even by the Neuter.

MinAgain February 25, 2011 at 12:14 pm

How amazing that Newt doesn't recognize the irony, since conservatives, much like dinosaurs, are on the wrong side of history.

Oblios_Cap February 25, 2011 at 12:14 pm

OneTokenBlack = Condi Rice.

Newt couldn't even Tweet "T" back to Condi? Brain Fart! Obviously he's not presidential material.

V572625694 February 25, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Or AngryBlakkGuy

GOPCrusher February 25, 2011 at 3:23 pm

I was thinking more along the lines of Sarah Palin's Twitter alter ego.

Mumbletypeg February 25, 2011 at 12:14 pm

I always wanted to be a dinosaur collector or a zookeeper

Aptly named Newt quite rightly belongs in the zoo. No surprise he's a Lizard Person, also.

JustPixelz February 25, 2011 at 12:33 pm

I always wanted to be a dinosaur collector or a zookeeper

Makes him perfect to lead the Tea Party.

poncho_pilot February 25, 2011 at 11:06 pm

well, he was Speaker of the House…

Angry_Marmot February 26, 2011 at 2:49 pm

I always wanted to be a dinosaur collector or a zookeeper

Might be his one redeeming feature in my eyes. The world lost a paleontologist and gained a ratfucker the day Newton switched to poli-sci.

Boredw/Gravity February 25, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Newt mentions the skull in his office to remind us all that he's a dinosaur, too.

Oblios_Cap February 25, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Newt Gingrich Bragging On Twitter About Dinosaur Skull He Owned

I'm sure he meant to say "stole".

Sparky_McGruff February 26, 2011 at 12:21 am

When I first read it, I saw "Dinosaur skull he boned", but I guess "stole" works too.

EdFlintstone February 25, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Believing in dinosaurs…..there goes the GOP nomination.

Ancient_Hackery February 25, 2011 at 12:17 pm

I think he's confusing this with some fantasy of getting some skull in his office.

JustPixelz February 25, 2011 at 12:36 pm

I'll bet he looked at that thing from time-to-time and just wondered … wondered …. Until the day he locked the door for a little Tyrannosaurus Sex. Then wondered if man-on-dinosaur is wrong, he don't wanna be Right.

PsycWench February 25, 2011 at 12:45 pm

The term "skull-fucking" must be out there for a reason, right?

Dudleydidwrong February 25, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Gotta be the new congressional pick-up line: "Hey, babe, wanna come up and see my Tyrannosaurus skull?" Hooks 'em every time.

slithytoves February 25, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Dinosaur collector, huh? Well as a Republican Speaker, I think he reached that summit.

edgydrifter February 25, 2011 at 12:18 pm

I hope his hooker pile desk was genuine Herman Miller and not some cheap discount furniture warehouse knockoff. Quality shows–take pride in your workspace.

genxr February 25, 2011 at 12:57 pm

It was probably Ikea. You had to assemble the hooker pile yourself.

Frost/Nixon/Robocop February 25, 2011 at 12:19 pm

So much head in that office

JustPixelz February 25, 2011 at 12:37 pm

And so much girth.

manythousands February 25, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Is that the one where Robocop gets to shoot Nixon as soon as he resigns ? Let's get DePalma on that one, stat.

widestanceroman February 25, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Is there nothing he won't stick it in?

SorosBot February 25, 2011 at 12:33 pm

His wives once they get too old.

user-of-owls February 25, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Or cancer-ridden.

ttommyunger February 25, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Could not hold his Zookeeper's job. Seems animals have enough sense to be scared shitless by this amoral creep and cringed and shrieked in fear every time he came around.

SorosBot February 25, 2011 at 12:21 pm

"Let’s not assume that what we’re doing is life and death"

You know what was a matter of life and death to the dinosaurs? Climate change, (meteor-induced instead of being their own fault) which Newt and his old followers from 1994 have ensured we're doing nothing about.

not that Dewey February 25, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Newt has just entered the "If Only They Had Done That Instead" Hall of Fame. He can invite Castro and Hitler's Skull over for some hookers and blow.

freakishlywrong February 25, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Holy fuck. Don't go pickin' up lunch around the Wonkateers. What all of y'all said. *Fists entire thread.

Extemporanus February 25, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Don't go to fucking bed, either.

By the time I was able to crawl out of mine and leave a (likely duplicative) comment on the "Broun Shoots Black" post, the thread was already 180+ comments long.

Goddamn Pacific time zone…

freakishlywrong February 25, 2011 at 12:59 pm

I guess meth would solve both our problems.

Extemporanus February 25, 2011 at 1:10 pm

As would an intern or two.

Right, Ken?

el_donaldo February 25, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Sorry, Newt, it just doesn't work. People still think T. Rex must have been pretty terrifying in its time. People now think you're just a stupid fool and sociopath with a unique and mostly squandered talent for passing yourself off as a person of intelligence.

genxr February 25, 2011 at 12:56 pm

It sure was terrifying. I drunk myself blind to the sound of old T-Rex.

el_donaldo February 25, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Jeepster for your love? Hell, no, make that a GOPster for your love.

MaxUdargo February 25, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Actually, I find myself questioning the premise that dinosaurs once thought they were important too. It just seems that such a thought would require more cognitive power, self-awareness, and ability to evaluate and compare abstract concepts than we normally associate with dinosaurs.

But maybe I'm over-thinking it.

BlueStateLibel February 25, 2011 at 12:27 pm

That's not a dinosaur skull, no such thing, it's just an extra-giant lizard skull!

genxr February 25, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Lizard people keep the skulls of those they defeat in the primaries.

phlox✔ February 25, 2011 at 12:31 pm

I've always gotten more of an Oedipus Rex vibe from this twatwaffle.

bureaucrap February 25, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Pity he doesn't have a brain to go with the skull.

V572625694 February 25, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Yep, good think the Newtster didn't get too comfortable in his office, or in Congress, as (according to the Wik-uh-pedia) he was hounded out of both by his own party:

"Republicans lost five seats in the House in the 1998 midterm elections—the worst performance in 64 years for a party that didn't hold the presidency. Polls showed that Gingrich and the Republican Party's attempt to remove President Clinton from office was widely unpopular among Americans.

"Gingrich suffered much of the blame for the election loss. Facing another rebellion in the Republican caucus, he announced on November 6, 1998 that he would not only stand down as Speaker, but would leave the House as well."

Just think how well he's going to do in the primaries! He'll never make it past Iowa, one imagines.

comrad_darkness February 25, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Yeah, shutting down the government, how'd that work out for you, republicans?

Dudleydidwrong February 25, 2011 at 2:27 pm

We'll see how long the memories of the voters are, but we know that The Newt doesn't care about memories. He only cares about mammaries.

jjdaddyo February 25, 2011 at 12:36 pm

The real reason Newt had that skull in his office was that it was from a BBQ that Jeebus and the 12 Apostles had in Galilee. It still had Jeebus' teef marks and some Carolina-style mustard BBQ sauce on it.

Extemporanus February 25, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Jurasshole.

LionelHutzEsq February 25, 2011 at 12:37 pm

I'm surprised you didn't quote the rest of the interview:

"Plus" the Speaker went on to say, "you really have never fucked an intern until you've drilled her against a dinosaur skull."

SayItWithWookies February 25, 2011 at 12:37 pm

So a guy who called himself a college professor because he taught a for-pay corporate shill seminar called "To Renew America" at the ivy-covered walls of Kennesaw State Junior College and who thinks he's been given a divine pass on following the morality he preaches to everyone else got that dino skull so he wouldn't take himself so seriously. How did that work out?

mereoblivion February 25, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Show us on the skull where General Caldwell invaded you, Newt.

Cy_GUy February 25, 2011 at 12:38 pm

This whole story seems based on the premise that it is illegal to privately own a dinosaur skull, which it is not. It is illegal to collect them from National Parks, but people can collect them on private land where they own the mineral rights and then sell them to the highest bidder.

Maybe you are thinking of Bald Eagle feathers, or archeological human remains?

LionelHutzEsq February 25, 2011 at 12:39 pm

And, of course, Newt kept the skull to remind him how our lord and savior Jesus killed all the dinosaurs, and that, similarly, as a good Republican, he must do the same to all Democrats Socialist.

genxr February 25, 2011 at 12:53 pm

The T-Rex was a solid Republican dinosaur. Not like those wussy vegetarian ones.

lefty74 February 25, 2011 at 12:40 pm

coprolite

NeedsWants February 25, 2011 at 12:42 pm

And he listened to Rush* through those T.Rex speakers, to remind himself that they too used to be good once. Fuckin' Red Barchetta, man.

*The band, not the hu-manatee

LionelHutzEsq February 25, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Which reminds me of the important legislative work of Newt's Congresses:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-debates

V572625694 February 25, 2011 at 5:26 pm

You mean one of these ?

NeedsWants February 25, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Beauty, eh? Makes me want to steal one and star in a Goddard film.

prommie February 25, 2011 at 12:43 pm

I seem to recall that the number of T-Rex skulls that have been found is like, something you can count on your fingers. I'm thinking he's talking about something he shoplifted from the Smithsonian giftshop.

Ducksworthy February 25, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Or it could be that Gnut is just plain talking out of his ass. Is that a possibility given his history?

LesBontemps February 25, 2011 at 12:44 pm

"Let’s not assume that what we’re doing is life and death.”

Yeah, Congress really doesn't have any effect on things like healthcare, war funding, anti-poverty initiatives, environmental preservation — it's all just balloons and bullshit.

genxr February 25, 2011 at 12:52 pm

And then Republicans issued a subpoena for Elmo.

comrad_darkness February 25, 2011 at 1:05 pm

And sleeping with lobbiests. And monies! Don't forget the monies and cushy jobs prospects. Also very important.

DoktorZoom February 25, 2011 at 1:30 pm

If Newt had been around then, he'd have been one of the dinos proclaiming that asteroid-caused global extinction was just a liberal hoax.

DonnyKerabotsos February 25, 2011 at 12:46 pm

That skull tied the whole room together.

genxr February 25, 2011 at 12:51 pm

And they pissed on my skull!

GOPCrusher February 25, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Shut the fuck up, Donny. You're out of your element here!

harry_palmer February 25, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Soliloquy from Newt, holding skull, "Alas, poor Dinosaur ! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinitely more wit and integrity than I or any of these other Republicans, who won't go extinct fast enough to save this country, I fear."

JoshuaNorton February 25, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Of course he believes in dinosaurs. There's a whole slew of them that still vote republican.

bitchincamaro2 February 25, 2011 at 12:49 pm

"Old PBS interview" as in, before or after he climbed on the shit-tard bandwagon to de-fund it?

harry_palmer February 25, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Well he's got a point, if that's the kind of crap they broadcast.

Ducksworthy February 25, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Does it matter? To Gnut there is no discernible relationship between what he says and who he screws.

CapeClod February 25, 2011 at 12:55 pm

If he still wants to be a zookeeper, perhaps we could arrange for him to be reunited with Knut at the Berlin Zoo.

Snarke_Diem February 25, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Yeesh – at least it wasn't the corpse of one of his ex-wives/sex partners. Wouldn't put it past the Newtered Grinch to be a necrophile . . .

Rush_Oxycontin February 25, 2011 at 1:01 pm

How fitting. A dinosaur skull for the dinosaur of the House.

Newt-O-Saurus = a bottom feeding, flatulent species of Repubtard. The Newt-O-Saurus habitually abandoned its mates, thereby securing its eventual demise.

comrad_darkness February 25, 2011 at 1:03 pm

"they used to think they were important too"

No, Newt, they did not. They had skulls the size of a bus and brains the size of an orange. They thought only about smelling out carrion to eat and mating . . . remarkably like former speakers of the house.

Redhead February 25, 2011 at 1:15 pm

I didn't think it was legal to hang Rumsfeld's skull in your office, but like you said, if Gingrich says so…

LocalGirlMakesGoo February 25, 2011 at 1:17 pm

When I was 17 I took a field trip with a few other classmates from Durban Girls Academy. We went from South Africa to DC for a week. It was pretty awesome. I ate freeze-dried NASA ice cream from the Air and Space Museum thingy gift shop and spat on Newt when we bumped into him on 17th.

DoktorZoom February 25, 2011 at 1:27 pm

I see. So it was a foreign outside agitator who started America's long slide into incivility!

Monsieur_Grumpe February 25, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Eat dino dick Newt.

OneYieldRegular February 25, 2011 at 1:30 pm

"…I had a chance to decorate my office like I wanted to, since I was speaker…"

*deadpan, over the top of my glasses, sideways glance*

owhatever February 25, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Another Georgian. Newt really is a lizard person.

wvfii February 25, 2011 at 1:35 pm

oh sure, he believes in dinosaurs now, but what's he going to say when he's bowing and scraping for the Dobson crowd?

chickensmack February 25, 2011 at 1:47 pm

He's a big enough dick that he could skull-fuck that t-rex.

hagajim February 25, 2011 at 2:11 pm

I always wanted to be a dinosaur collector or a zookeeper

What – Newt is now trying to steal Glenn Beck's thunder?

Pragmatist2 February 25, 2011 at 2:18 pm

And on each side of the T-Rex head he had a picture of one of his ex-wives because "they used to think they were important too."
Adorable.

HedonismBot February 25, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Recent research suggests the T-Rex – once thought to be the most nightmarish and fearsome of predators – might actually have been a timid, pea-brained scavenger, too big, awkward and dumb to adapt to the changing circumstances around it.
Excellent choice of a mascot, Newt!

GeoffPeterson February 25, 2011 at 3:03 pm

I don't believe dinosaurs thought they were important. They didn't think at all, really. Despite the size of their heads, they had very small brains.

mourningnmerica February 25, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Honey, I got good news and bad news. First, the bad news. Remember that little chippie that I swore you were imagining things, that it was just the chemo talkin'? Well, I'm leaving you for her. I hope you will survive and eventually get out of ICU.
Oh, yeah, the good new, I almost forgot. I got a steal on this kick ass dinosaur skull. And again, best of luck.

bflrtsplk February 25, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Uh, Newt. That's no dinosaur skull. It's your reflection in the cee-ment pond.

Jukesgrrl February 25, 2011 at 3:24 pm

If my mother doesn't get her Social Security check, T Rex is going to look like Paris Hilton's purse dog, in comparison.

__kth__ February 25, 2011 at 4:31 pm

That's right, the dinosaurs all died of hubris.

buford2k10 February 25, 2011 at 4:37 pm

How could he tell the skull from John McCain?

bitchincamaro2 February 25, 2011 at 4:43 pm

I suspect there was skull-fuckery involved.

riverside68 February 25, 2011 at 5:31 pm

So Dino's ruled from 230M BCE to 65M. Hominids split off about 6M BCE, Lucy 3.2M.

So let's check back in another 100M years and see how we did compared to dinos.

Right now it looks like we are cooking the Whole Dang Planet.

chascates February 25, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Newt talks to NewsMax about the DOMA decision and sez:

Gingrich even suggested that, if a “President Sarah Palin” had taken a similar action, there would have been immediate calls for her impeachment. (Speaker Gingrich stressed that we are not currently in a constitutional crisis, nor was he calling for the direct impeachment of the president. His statements were meant to illustrate the hypocrisy of the left and the mainstream media.)

"I believe the House Republicans next week should pass a resolution instructing the president to enforce the law and to obey his own constitutional oath, and they should say if he fails to do so that they will zero out [defund] the office of attorney general and take other steps as necessary until the president agrees to do his job."

dogscantlookup February 25, 2011 at 7:05 pm

You know who also owned T-Rex sculls?

pinkocommi February 25, 2011 at 7:15 pm

Hmmmm…. that Newt liked to be reminded that T Rex "used to think they were important too" seems to be a condemnation of American exceptionalism. Have the Repubtards taken away his membership card yet?

Nopantsmcgee February 25, 2011 at 9:01 pm

"I always wanted to be a dinosaur collector"

Professor Poutypants knows the bones and skulls aren't really what the dinosaurs looked like, doesn't he?

PublicLuxury February 25, 2011 at 10:20 pm

For most of us that function in the homosapien world a picture of our ancestors in our office is enough. But Newt, not being a 'sapien of any kind, would want the actual skull of his ancestor.

What a fuckin' freak.

Negropolis February 25, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Gawd, why are these guys so repugnant? It's like they are trying to make you loathe them.

The only thing dinosaurs thought about was where their next meal was coming from and where they could find shelter. But, if he can find me an example of a self-important T. Rex strutting about as he or she was the shit, I'd be happy to find one.

MrFizzy February 26, 2011 at 10:50 am

Maybe Bill Frist can figure out if the T. Rex is really dead.

Angry_Marmot February 26, 2011 at 3:02 pm

It's amazing he held onto power as long as he did, with those teeny tiny forearms.

BarackMyWorld February 28, 2011 at 12:08 am
harry_palmer February 25, 2011 at 12:49 pm

But baseball'd be out of business.

SorosBot February 25, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Then the world would be a much better place.

harry_palmer February 25, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Win-win!

harry_palmer February 25, 2011 at 1:04 pm

It's a win-win. Of course, Tony LaRussa would have to go back to chasing ambulances and trying to get Albert Pujolz deported.

(My earlier comment disappeared – weird.)

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