WORSE CONTAINERS THAN FETUS JARS  3:02 pm February 24, 2011

Student Charged With Trying To Blow Up George W. Bush

by Jack Stuef

A young college student from Saudi Arabia who studied chemical engineering in Texas purchased explosive chemicals over the Internet as part of a plan to hide bomb materials inside dolls and baby carriages to blow up dams, nuclear plants or the Dallas home of former President George W. Bush, the Justice Department said Thursday.

That must have seemed foolproof, because as we all know, George W. Bush loves playing with baby dolls and carriages.

By the way, bro, that’s not the president anymore. You’re a bit late. [AOL]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 60 comments }

Barbara_i February 24, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Sounds like this kid aint smart enough to blow up his inflatable doll date, Arrianna.

jus_wonderin February 24, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Let's not jump to conclusions. It could just as well have been Ari.

JadedDissonance February 24, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Wonder if we'll hear more about this than the MLK Parade Bomb. That bomber was smart.

nounverb911 February 24, 2011 at 3:11 pm

"Student Charged With Trying To Blow George W. Bush"
Isn't that Laura's job?

ChrisM2011 February 24, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Unfortunately, the botox has tightened her skin to the point that she is constantly clamping down on Dubya's dong like a bear trap.

BerkeleyBear February 24, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Not since Condi's been on the scene.

EdFlintstone February 24, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Shit dude you didn't need to go to all that trouble, just send him 2 pretzels.

Redhead February 24, 2011 at 3:48 pm

or a bike.

Jason_inthe_Peg February 24, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Or a segway.

KenLayIsAlive February 24, 2011 at 5:37 pm

I would basically pay ever future dollar I would ever earn to see the video of GWB going off a cliff on a segway.

V572625694 February 24, 2011 at 3:17 pm

He was just 11 years too late.

Too soon?

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Chemical Engineering is a longer course than 2 weeks of Pilot School.

JustPixelz February 24, 2011 at 4:06 pm

A plan elegant in its simplicity.

RedneckMuslin February 24, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Not too soon! Too late!!!!

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 3:17 pm

And the wingnuts get a Muslim-hating stiffy again.

zhubajie February 24, 2011 at 8:24 pm

That may be the goal.

harry_palmer February 24, 2011 at 3:20 pm

This is some love triangle thing with Prince Bandar. Betcha he drove all the way from Florida in a pair of Depends.

Oblios_Cap February 24, 2011 at 3:41 pm

It seems like only yesterday that they were holding hands and kissing each other on the lips. I can't say that they made a cute couple, though.

Still, love, like youth, can be fleeting.

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 3:26 pm

"By the way, bro, that’s not the president anymore. You’re a bit late."

So?

jim89048 February 24, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Yeah–right target, wrong time. You know, like Afghanistan.

PublicLuxury February 24, 2011 at 3:28 pm

He was arrested because he didn't get the job done. Maybe he'll have better luck next time and blow himself up. Dumb Ass.

SayItWithWookies February 24, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Let this be a message to the smart terrorists — our forces climbing the scale of stupidity, and have gone from homeless idiots to clueless chemical engineering students. The ones who actually represent a threat are next. Well, after the mouthy-but-harmless jackasses, people taking pictures of buildings and brown people playing paintball.

Oblios_Cap February 24, 2011 at 3:42 pm

It could take a while.

Muslin_vs_Satin February 24, 2011 at 3:31 pm

when do they release the details on his sleeper cell or terrorist network?
cuz you know muslins cant possibly ever be deranged, lone wolf types.

bumfug February 24, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Sleeper cell? Terrorist network? More likely an FBI unit.

ShaveTheWhales February 24, 2011 at 6:09 pm

That was my first thought.

weejee February 24, 2011 at 3:32 pm

And the "I only needed the picric acid to etch ferritic stainless" defense comes in 3, 2, 1…

Extemporanus February 24, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Bush and Bandar sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
First comes love,
then comes marriage,
then comes baby bombs in a golden carriage!

mereoblivion February 24, 2011 at 4:09 pm

And Bobby Franklin will personally see to it that every one of those baby bombs is carried to term.

assistantatlas February 24, 2011 at 3:37 pm

That's so weird that a terrorist is from Saudi Arabia when all of the 9/11 hijackers and Osama bin Laden and every other terrorist ever were all from Iraq …

GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Hey! Wait a minute…….

edgydrifter February 24, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Wouldn't a gentleman piling up truckloads of baby dolls at the base of a dam arouse some kind of suspicion, or is that common custom in Texas these days?

jus_wonderin February 24, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Soon, I will need a new monitor but for now…LOL!!

jim89048 February 24, 2011 at 4:00 pm

It's like a shrine!

Jason_inthe_Peg February 24, 2011 at 4:07 pm

A shrine in Georgia?

GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Was he on a little motorcycle and wearing a fez?

jus_wonderin February 24, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Well, the Dallas residence is probably lousy with oaks, azaleas and tulips. Though, if he made 'em look like a lawn worker, he'd have a hit.

Gopherit February 24, 2011 at 3:55 pm

maybe a bottle of jack or a pretzel then?

The Fiddler February 24, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Perhaps a suicide lawn jockey will do the trick…

Redhead February 24, 2011 at 3:51 pm

This guy sounds almost as bumbling and incompetent as Bush himself. (Probably speaks English a little better though.)

Monsieur_Grumpe February 24, 2011 at 3:55 pm

To be fair, he was studying in Texas where chemical engineering courses include:

Silly Putty 101, 102 and 103
Water-N-Oil mixin’ 102
Bar B Q Sauce 303
Homemade Volcano Lab (baking soda and vinegar not provided)

BaldarTFlagass February 24, 2011 at 4:06 pm

You forgot "meth lab"

BerkeleyBear February 24, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Glad to see BBQ is given its proper due as an upper division/grad school course. You left out Date Rape Drug (a prerequisite in many Texas business programs).

mereoblivion February 24, 2011 at 4:16 pm

To be even fairer, when advised by his advisor (as advisees are so often advised) to take Intro To Playdough, Aldawsari said he couldn't waste his time with those dead Greek philosophers.

cheaphits February 24, 2011 at 8:32 pm

My compliments, lulz!

JustPixelz February 24, 2011 at 3:55 pm

"…purchased explosive chemicals over the Internet."

Whatever happened to just downloading porn?

BerkeleyBear February 24, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Hey, you might be on to something. I know when I had someone trying to track down a Gin Seng company (auto part maker) they got lots of porn, so maybe this was the reverse and he thought he was buying the TNT KABoom porn package for 39.95 a month.

mereoblivion February 24, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Who are you, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm? That stuff's way too innocent for today's modern world.

JustPixelz February 24, 2011 at 4:34 pm

No, not Rebecca. I played “Lou Sarah” neighbor from the next farm who comforted her after she caught her boyfriend in bed with the milk maids.

hagajim February 24, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Prolly should have loaded a copy of "My Pet Goat" and sent it to him.

KenLayIsAlive February 24, 2011 at 5:38 pm

"I'm not saying he should have done it, I'm just saying… I understand."

ttommyunger February 24, 2011 at 10:55 pm

Me too. And that WAS one of his funniest bits, in a grim way.

MinAgain February 24, 2011 at 6:36 pm

I thought "studied chemical engineering in Texas" was code for "Daddy gave me a job in his oil bidness."

Zvi_Bleindmeis February 24, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Damned Texas State Board of Education. Everything's about the babies in their textbooks now.

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 9:22 pm

If it wasn't for the Texas Board of Education and their schoolbook depository, this country would likely be a much better place today than it is.

zhubajie February 24, 2011 at 8:23 pm

"By the way, bro, that’s not the president anymore. You’re a bit late."

Oh, I dunno. He's as guilty as ever. I've been hoping some bounty hunter would pick him up.

LibrulEleet February 24, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Now one of the Bush girls will have to become president and invade Saudi Arabia "because they tried to kill my daddy."

ttommyunger February 24, 2011 at 10:59 pm

The FBI is conducting a vigorous internal investigation as to how this plot could have been hatched without their complicity and support. During a short press briefing, Director Mueller stated dourly, "These half-assed amateur terrorists shouldn't be out there on their own buying this shit and making these plots, somebody could get hurt!"

sezme February 24, 2011 at 11:09 pm

By the way, bro, that’s not the president anymore. You’re a bit late.
Well sure, but you know… better late than never.

rock_ette February 25, 2011 at 9:05 am

I hope this doesn't mean they'll cancel "Take Your Baby to a Nuclear Plant Day". My baby Skeesix just glows after every visit.

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