THE FINAL SOLUTION  2:33 pm February 24, 2011

Fun Georgia Bill: Give Death Penalty For Having Abortion OR Miscarriage

by Jack Stuef

Sticking his cyanide needle in those buns.Look, there’s a limit to exactly how illegal you can make abortion, and conservative legislators are always trying to one-up each other by proposing new ways to make it illegal-er. It takes a stroke of luck to come across a great idea like giving women the death penalty for having an abortion for any reason. But it takes a true genius to decide that women who merely have miscarriages can also be arrested, charged, and put to death. The great mind we’re talking about, Georgia state Rep. Bobby Franklin, has introduced this in a 10-page bill, a work of staggering conservative brilliance it may be made into stone tablets and brought up Mount Sinai so God Himself can read it and weep at the beautiful work of His second-greatest human being ever.

Under Rep. Franklin’s bill, HB 1, women who miscarry could become felons if they cannot prove that there was “no human involvement whatsoever in the causation” of their miscarriage. There is no clarification of what “human involvement” means, and this is hugely problematic as medical doctors do not know exactly what causes miscarriages.

Women. Women cause miscarriages by being women. Do you see any men having miscarriages? No. Men are awesome at not having miscarriages. A woman will probably even cry if you see her have a miscarriage and you interrogate her about what she did to murder her fetus. (She will cry because she’s guilty.)

Holding women criminally liable for a totally natural, common biological process is cruel and non-sensical. Even more ridiculous, the bill holds women responsible for protecting their fetuses from “the moment of conception,” despite the fact that pregnancy tests aren’t accurate until at least 3 weeks after conception. Unless Franklin (who is not a health professional) invents a revolutionary intrauterine conception alarm system, it’s unclear how exactly the state of Georgia would enforce that rule other than holding all possibly-pregnant women under lock and key.

No, the answer is to have the government of Georgia kill all the women in its state right now just to be safe. DUH, Mother Jones writer, who is a WOMAN (no surprise). Women don’t understand anything, and then they purposefully have miscarriages.

But still, what’s the problem if they decide to lock up all the women and not kill them? Is this Mother Jones person trying to take away Georgia’s states’ rights? How dare she do such a thing to this poor man and his beautiful, very logical bill? Smite the women. Smite all the women. [Mother Jones]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 352 comments }

ManchuCandidate February 24, 2011 at 3:35 pm

I await the Gorjya Menses Registry.

It seems this guy thinks PMS is a greater threat than guns

twogoats February 24, 2011 at 3:01 pm

he might want to be extra careful though around a woman with PMS AND guns

NorthStarSpanx February 24, 2011 at 3:26 pm

I'm so confused, are we FOR a Nanny State or not? What does this legislation qualify under?

BarryOPotter February 24, 2011 at 3:30 pm

…are we FOR a Nanny State or not?

The Hon. Bobby Goober Franklin is trying to institute a MANNY State, librul!

horsedreamer_1 February 24, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Conveniently, he just signed to play leftfield in Tampa. That's not far from Georgia.

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Short for manipulation (by mans).

Terry February 24, 2011 at 3:57 pm

We apparently are aiming for a State modeled after a Margaret Atwood novel entitled The Handmaid's Tale.

the_redhead July 24, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Do we need a Tampon Registry?

Barbara_i February 24, 2011 at 2:37 pm

And if they miscarry twins, kill them TWICE!

StephKat17 February 24, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Ooh, but what if they are carrying twins but only miscarry ONE of them? Then do you wait until after the other twin is born to kill the mom? I mean, this is really not a well thought out bill proposal, OBVS.

sati_demise February 24, 2011 at 4:18 pm

and boy oh boy, are those fertility clinics in trouble! They will have to be killed thousands of times. The whole staff and the garbage collector.

Radiotherapy February 24, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Octa-Death.

Barbara_i February 24, 2011 at 2:56 pm

That would be funny, Radio.
Half the men think that we are trying to get pregnant to snag them into marriage and the other half think that we are trying to jar the fetus from our wombs to kill them. We sure are busy little beavers if we can do this and still make it to the shoe store when it opens.

These opinions do not reflect upon any of the tripod Wonkateers.

threetofifteen February 25, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Actually the "miscarriage" bit is qualified:
(2) 'Prenatal murder' means the intentional removal of a fetus from a woman with an intention other than to produce a live birth or to remove a dead fetus; provided, however, that if a physician makes a medically justified effort to save the lives of both the mother and the fetus and the fetus does not survive, such action shall not be prenatal murder. Such term does not include a naturally occurring expulsion of a fetus known medically as a 'spontaneous abortion' and popularly as a 'miscarriage' so long as there is no human involvement whatsoever in the causation of such event.

"human involvement whatsoever" is incredibly vague (and likely what wonkie is complaining about) and I have a feeling that this will be the first clause stricken from the statute (assuming it's passed as-is) when someone applies common law standards.

No, the part I find really horrifying is this:
(12) The United States Supreme Court had no jurisdiction to hear or decide the case of Roe v. Wade or any other case pertaining to a state's punishment of the crime of prenatal murder;
Basically, "We can contradict Roe v. Wade because we think you had no jurisdiction." (Note: this is the same as nullifying a federal law, because the Supreme Court's ruling on jurisdiction is binding and final.)
You can tell that they know it's nullification a little lower:
(17) Georgia hereby unequivocally expresses its firm resolution to maintain and defend the Constitution of the United States against every aggression, either foreign or domestic, and most solemnly declares a warm attachment to the Union of the states and seeks its preservation and continuation;
"We swear we're not trying to start a civil war again! We swears it!"

What a bunch of chumps, hopped up on wasting legislative time and money.

MrsBiggTime February 24, 2011 at 2:37 pm

The Santorum-eating grin on that guy's face gives me the creeps.

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Yuuuummmmie!
Santorumsicles for all!

(verp… excuse me)

mourningnmerica February 24, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Small ess on santorum, as it is a common noun. Otherwise, fine.

Jason_inthe_Peg February 24, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Mother Jones should just get with the motherhood program already.

I have to hand it to Margaret Atwood, I really had no idea that the Handmaids Tale was a how-to book.

emmelemm February 24, 2011 at 4:20 pm

It's like she was a emmer-effering psychic! And here all she did was try to imagine the most awful future she could…

Lascauxcaveman February 24, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Funny how the novelists with the most cruelly twisted imaginations always end up being the most prescient.

OK, I take that back; it's not funny.

emmelemm February 24, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Yeah, when we get to the point of seeing bills like this actually printed on paper and presented to law-making bodies as something with a nano-second of potential legitimacy, NOTHING IS FUNNY ANY MORE.

Nothing will ever be funny again.

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Mr. Franklin is hoping to make that pageant lady Ofbobby after his bill passes.

OC_Surf_Serf February 24, 2011 at 5:20 pm

wanna stay up at night? have 3 daughters and read Atwood's "Cat's Eye" a couple times…shivering even thinking about it.

mayor_quimby February 24, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Jeebus H fuck, my Wonkette is going to make me pick up a book or some shit.
I am embarrassed to admit I first heard of her via her tweets.
No!! Stop shunning me, stop it!!

nounverb911 February 24, 2011 at 2:38 pm

" women who miscarry could become felons if they cannot prove that there was “no human involvement whatsoever in the causation” of their miscarriage"
Barbara Bush better watch out.

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Fetal alcohol syndrome can cause miscarriages, so just like W's idiocy that's probably her fault too.

natoslug February 24, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Assholes like this are a reminder of why critical reasoning needs to be taught in high school rather than college. There's no fucking way to prove that there was "no human involvement whatsoever…"

Has Georgia Rep. Fucky McFuckerson yet proven to us he was not involved, whatsoever, in 9/11, Robin Williams' herpes and the Christchurch earthquake?

[Edit: Critical Reasoning should actually be taught in both high school AND college. And anyone who fails should be sterilized and branded with a scarlet GOP on his/her forehead.]

Not_So_Much February 24, 2011 at 3:30 pm

First, they came for the creepy fetus jar, and Dubya said nothing…

BarryOPotter February 24, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Given that the miscarriage starts INSIDE a human, uh… GUILTY!!!

bagofmice February 24, 2011 at 2:38 pm

It makes a certain kind of logical sense as long as you don't believe women are human.

BarryOPotter February 24, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Georgia.

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Woman = two-fifths of a person.

littlebigdaddy February 24, 2011 at 2:39 pm

His mom should've had one.

natoslug February 24, 2011 at 3:21 pm

She did. He just didn't have the courtesy to die afterwards. Obviously no mental growth occurred afterwards.

politics_nerd February 24, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Lincoln should have let the south go.

baconzgood February 24, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist, up fist!

I like you Stewart. You're not like the other people here, at the trailor park.

deelzebub February 24, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Burrow owls. That song gave me my all -time favorite phrase, jumping Jesus on a pogostick.

Fox n Fiends February 24, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Conservatives want to repeal the 20th century, might be wise to repeal the 19th as well.

harry_palmer February 24, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Actually they're aiming back to about the Dark Ages – the last time they were fully in charge.

V572625694 February 24, 2011 at 4:25 pm

And the Crusades were a modest exercise in nation-building.

Dudleydidwrong February 24, 2011 at 3:21 pm

While not everyone in the South is batshit crazy, and there are batshit crazy people in the North, Bobby Franklin cancels out the sane Southerners. But don't blame it all on Lincoln. Those Original British North American serfdoms that declared Independence should have stopped at the fabled Mason Dixon line. The Spaniards, French, Hottentots or Martians who controlled the swamps to the south should have kept them. Maybe they knew something… Why, just why, why and why, couldn't we have kept Canada, the last bastion of civilization in North America? (Hell, I even know the words to their national anthem, in hopes…)

techmom February 24, 2011 at 7:32 pm

And you can even sing their Anthem without popping a few buttons.

comrad_darkness February 24, 2011 at 3:28 pm

I nominate your post for the "It goes without saying" award.

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 3:57 pm

You should give one of those at least once a week. The Comrad_Darkness "It Goes Without Saying Award."

comrad_darkness February 24, 2011 at 4:15 pm

A fine idea. I shall do just that. Thank you, Madame.

emmelemm February 24, 2011 at 4:23 pm

I second that motion.

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Well god causes miscarriages, so if a woman miscarries it must be a punishment sent because she did something to piss the invisible one off, like having independent thoughts, so it is her fault.

DoktorZoom February 24, 2011 at 3:09 pm

In that case, shouldn't God go to jail as an accomplice?

Oblios_Cap February 24, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Better stay away from snakes offering apples during pregnancy!

horsedreamer_1 February 24, 2011 at 3:56 pm

"They say a miscarriage is God's way of making sure a mistake isn't made".

– Damien Jurado, Postcards & Audio Letters, track 3, "Christmas 1983, Pt. 1"

(Not quite the exact transcription. It's actually a little sweeter than it seems.)

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 3:59 pm

So what's God's excuse for Bobby Franklin?

DeeJayKitteh February 24, 2011 at 4:05 pm

To make us all thankful that we're not a fuckwit like him?

sati_demise February 24, 2011 at 4:21 pm

you know that is what he is thinking, because the Bible!
All miscarriages mean the woman is totally guilty.

baconzgood February 24, 2011 at 2:41 pm

"women who miscarry could become felons if they cannot prove that there was “no human involvement whatsoever in the causation” of their miscarriage"

WOW that takes BALLS. I mean real big brass BALLS. Not only is he picking on a woman who just went through the trama of losing her child, he's also doing away with that whole Presumption of innocence crap.

BIG BRASSY BALLS. I salute your gumption Bobby.

V572625694 February 24, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Plus there's that old problem of proving a negative…how do you prove somebody didn't do something?

baconzgood February 24, 2011 at 2:59 pm

That's the Glenn Beck Argument.

OneDollarJuana February 24, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Balls were involved! Every miscarriage started with semen from said balls. Find the man and throw his ass in jail! Better yet, lynch him!

BarryOPotter February 24, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Nice try, but the swinging of brass balls had nothing to do with this abortion of a bill. It's simply the after-birth of the Idiocracy with each idiot vying to out-tard the other tards. More likely to be the result of a small penis, or even penis-envy…

PsycWench February 24, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Not only that, but a lot of miscarriages are related to chromosomal abnormalities, which could be proven only if the women had the actual products of the miscarriage and they could be submitted to testing. Have those products been flushed or otherwise discarded? Go directly to jail, do not pass go, etc.

sati_demise February 24, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Sales of fetus jars go through the roof, so its all good for Wall Street!

baconzgood February 24, 2011 at 4:39 pm

NO YOU D'INT!!!

MarcelleMarceau February 24, 2011 at 6:07 pm

I wonder if women traveling out of state would have to submit to pregnancy tests. And then again on their return.

zhubajie February 24, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Presumption of innocence is long gone. Bush introduced the Chinese system and Obama has not given it up.

Mahousu February 24, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Unless Franklin (who is not a health professional) …

This wins the category of "least surprising parenthetical remark of the year."

littlebigdaddy February 24, 2011 at 3:28 pm

I have to disagree. He looks exactly like one of those small town optometrists who insist on being called "Dr."

Negropolis February 25, 2011 at 1:37 am

"least surprising?" I think you meant "most unnecessary."

smokefilledroommate February 24, 2011 at 2:42 pm

This is the type of shit that comes from the repressed mind of someone that really needs to come out of the closet.

Swampgas_Man February 25, 2011 at 7:07 pm

He's beyond the closet and halfway down the septic tank. And you don't want something that's been down there "coming out".

Polythene Pam February 24, 2011 at 2:43 pm

"Prospective studies using very sensitive early pregnancy tests have found that 25% of pregnancies are miscarried by the sixth week LMP (since the woman's Last Menstrual Period)."

And, of course, most of these happen without the woman even being aware that she's pregnant at all. So, I'm buying stock in whatever company's going to provide the state with the mandatory monthly pregnancy tests for all females of child-bearing age!

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Georgia will set up monthly menstrual monitoring stations to detect any unknown miscarriages.

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Could probably be done with some sort of chip donchyaknow.

comrad_darkness February 24, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Small Government for everyone!

NorthStarSpanx February 24, 2011 at 3:29 pm

And a new Koch product for the small government to purchase wholesale!

Also too, it's going to be awfully kind of the government to point out that you suffered a loss in case you were lucky enough to have missed it.

tcaalaw February 25, 2011 at 7:42 am

Perhaps they could have random pregnancy checkpoints on the highway like drug/immigration/DUI checkpoints. I'm sure nothing would go wrong. Well, at least until they begin tasering women who can't pee in a cup on command.

Angry_Marmot February 24, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Diversify! Buy stock in prisons, America's growth industry.

sati_demise February 24, 2011 at 4:24 pm

ack!
This is good for Wall Street

emmelemm February 24, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Monthly? Try WEEKLY! You could totally have a fertilized egg (i.e., 5/5 of a whole person with every possible human right assigned to it) hanging around for 2, 3 days, then getting flushed out.

BaldarTFlagass February 24, 2011 at 2:44 pm

A little-publicized codicil in this bill also mandates a prison term for any woman having a period.
Thirty days in the hole, that's what they give you.

baconzgood February 24, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Tee-Hee
"Hole"

Oblios_Cap February 24, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Whose hole?

Steverino247 February 24, 2011 at 3:34 pm

This guy would be lucky to last 30 seconds in a hole, if you know what I mean.

PresBeeblebrox February 24, 2011 at 2:44 pm

The bill is a laff riot. The General Assembly of Georgia has taken the place of God in knowing when human life begins. It also mentions pirates & murder, takes digs at the U.S. Supreme Court, etc.
http://www.legis.ga.gov/Legislation/en-US/display

This is the real kicker, which basically 1) says a zygote is a fetus and 2) says that the burden of proof in showing that there was "no human involvement whatsoever" in a miscarriage is going to fall on the defendant, which is not exactly what the Constiution says…

…Homunculus? WTF? How many people are growing babies in bottles these days?

(b) As used in this Code section, the term:
(1) 'Fetus' means a person at any point of development from and including the moment of conception through the moment of birth. Such term includes all medical or popular designations of an unborn child from the moment of conception such as conceptus, zygote, embryo, homunculus, and similar terms.

(2) 'Prenatal murder' means the intentional removal of a fetus from a woman with an intention other than to produce a live birth or to remove a dead fetus; provided, however, that if a physician makes a medically justified effort to save the lives of both the mother and the fetus and the fetus does not survive, such action shall not be prenatal murder.

Such term does not include a naturally occurring expulsion of a fetus known medically as a 'spontaneous abortion' and popularly as a 'miscarriage' so long as there is no human involvement whatsoever in the causation of such event.

Ducksworthy February 24, 2011 at 2:50 pm

This does not go far enough. Onanism is not addressed anywhere in this legislation. Oh this is only about the filthy women? OK then. But where's the stoning?

DoktorZoom February 24, 2011 at 3:16 pm

OT, but I always loved the anecdote about Dorothy Parker naming her parakeet Onan because he always spilled his seed upon the ground.

Lascauxcaveman February 24, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Here in the land of snark, Dorothy Parker is never OT. She is one of our our patron saints.

bagofmice February 24, 2011 at 3:00 pm

It's a good thing that pregnant women aren't human. Imagine if THEY got involved…

kiteme February 24, 2011 at 3:02 pm

I'd read that as basically outlawing IVF and similar treatments as well. No?

comrad_darkness February 24, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Limit the breeding of more white people? Are you kidding??

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Especially white people who can afford IVF. Jesus doesn't want to thwart the reproduction of RICH white people. Because they have so much more to offer children than the poors, doncha know? And they don't need any government hand-outs like public schools, also, too.

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 3:06 pm

The "Homunculus" was the miniature person that some early so-called scientists proposed was inside the sperm and would grow into the baby inside a woman's womb; according to this view the woman had no effect on heredity at all, but were just gestating the man's child. Not a surprising view for a legislator who hates women as much as this creep.

MissTaken February 24, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Hmmm…according to the all-knowing Wikipedia a homunculus is:

"Currently, in scientific fields, a homunculus may refer to any scale model of the human body that, in some way, illustrates physiological, psychological, or other abstract human characteristics or functions"

So if I tear the head off my niece's baby doll that pees when you stick water in her mouth I can go to jail for murder. Woo hoo.

Angry_Marmot February 24, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Klaus Barbie?

SayItWithWookies February 24, 2011 at 3:34 pm

"…such as conceptus, zygote, embryo, homunculus, and similar terms."

Don't forget Jarbara.

xsluggo February 24, 2011 at 5:36 pm

The definition of fetus neglects to include: oven muffin, Mormon disease, fuck bump, Damien, piss stick surprise, sperm fruit, and thatch angel. Correct this oversight now!

No woman unpunished!

MarcelleMarceau February 24, 2011 at 6:12 pm

That pretty much deep-sixes the morning after pill.

BeWoot February 24, 2011 at 11:32 pm

Miscarriages popular. So surprising to so many desolate people …

Gopherit February 24, 2011 at 2:44 pm

The second war of secession will have republicans fighting for the freedom of the uteruses of every liberal. Our fallopian tubed friends, our baby factories, must be protected from them.

gef05 February 24, 2011 at 6:55 pm

"The second war of secession will"

I thought you were going to say, "The second war of secession will be the North trying to secede from the South."

owhatever February 24, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Representative Bobby Franklin needs to get laid.

Radiotherapy February 24, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Laid to rest.

nounverb911 February 24, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Yes, by his future 300+ pound cellmate, repeatedly.

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 3:47 pm

That looks like what he's thinking in the pic.

zhubajie February 24, 2011 at 6:48 pm

With a mule.

Negropolis February 25, 2011 at 1:40 am

No woman (or man; I don't judge) should have to take him for the team.

DeeJayKitteh February 24, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Well, I guess creating the Department of Uterine Inspection is one way to create jobs.

SexySmurf February 24, 2011 at 2:48 pm

I could do that. I already have a "Federal Breast Inspector" card.

BaldarTFlagass February 24, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Is there a reciprocity agreement?

bagofmice February 24, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Uterus to Uterus, check them back and forth?

Extemporanus February 24, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Did you get it after serving on your city's Itty Bitty Titty Committee?

smokefilledroommate February 24, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Wouldn't it be funny if you got a DUI en route to the DUI? You wouldn't be able to tell anyone about it though, because I'm pretty sure they'd kill you on the spot.

Dances_For_Ham February 24, 2011 at 2:46 pm

So I guess this means no rough boat rides, no "fast" dancing, no disquieting motion pictures, no strong spices or exotic cuisine, no harsh language and certainly no sneaking up behind any female of child bearing age and saying, "Boo". Does this mean bed rest for all Georgian women, all the time.?

HistoriCat February 24, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Bed rest? Hell Heck no! They need to stay in the kitchen where they belong.

SayItWithWookies February 24, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Rats — a bit too slow.

SayItWithWookies February 24, 2011 at 2:56 pm

No — they will also be allowed to stand in the kitchen.

DoktorZoom February 24, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Perhaps, to soothe their troubled minds, the GA legislature can also provide these women with some nice yellow wallpaper, too.

littlebigdaddy February 24, 2011 at 3:30 pm

True southern ladies are reclining on their day bed, suffering from the vapors, and only occasionally boning the help.

Snarke_Diem February 24, 2011 at 2:47 pm

In ConservaRepublicanSpeak: "Small Government" = "Big Brother"

bagofmice February 24, 2011 at 3:03 pm

There's a real puzzle. How DOES a small government get so deep into the lady parts?

Snarke_Diem February 24, 2011 at 3:36 pm

I'll share your question with my beloved-but-Republican parents and see what kind of whacked-out explanation they come up with. Probably after consulting with their "pastor." Jebus . . .

emmelemm February 24, 2011 at 4:29 pm

WIN.

Allmighty_Manos February 24, 2011 at 2:47 pm

I can get behind this as long as we make premature ejaculation a captial offense.

Extemporanus February 24, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Under that version of the penile code, I'd be guiltier than Pol fucking Pot.

bitchincamaro2 February 24, 2011 at 3:45 pm

What about nocturnal emissions and random seed spillage? Life without parole?

bagofmice February 24, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Life without a womb?

kittenbomb February 24, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Can we also outlaw making me sleep in the wet spot? I hate that.

PalinPussyPower February 24, 2011 at 4:48 pm

I've got a vagina and a handgun. I can get on board with this.

GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Waving that thing around is not going to help premature ejaculation. Talk about pressure!

Zvi_Bleindmeis February 24, 2011 at 8:38 pm

I can get behind this as long as we make premature ejaculation a captial offense.

Yes, a capital offense as well as a sin of emission.

DaSandman February 24, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Another clear example of the fact that in the Red States they value life so much that the offspring of cracker trash and barnyard animals can be elected to political office.

Hera Sent Me February 24, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Isn't a woman's period proof that she failed in her duty to prevent the death of a pre-fertilized egg? She probably could have saved that egg by letting a bunch of guys boink her all month, instead of going out to work and practice witchcraft.

Negropolis February 25, 2011 at 1:43 am

I don't know how this didn't get a single response.

freakishlywrong February 24, 2011 at 2:47 pm

2012 should be interesting in terms of how the wingtards are going to steal the election when they've managed to utterly alienate Hispanics, Jews, the Coloreds, Moslems , the poor and working classes, and now, women. Y'know, the American People™.

spinozasgod February 24, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Apparently only right-wingers vote. There is nothing new about their bigotry yet they keep getting more and more power so either they out number everyone else or they are the only ones who get off their butts and vote..

freakishlywrong February 24, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Or they rig Diebold machines.

emmelemm February 24, 2011 at 4:34 pm

The terrifying, TRULY terrifying, thing about it is that I'm sure you can find women who would agree with this.

I "understand" how some women can be anti-abortion (really, I do). I wholeheartedly don't agree, but whatever. This shit, however, is so far beyond, it's somewhere in the farthest reaches of space, where the universe is still expanding, so it's getting even farther beyond with each passing second.

GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 5:13 pm

According to them, they are only doing the Will Of The People. They don't understand that The People they are talking about only make up about 15% of the total population.

zhubajie February 24, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Unfortunately, those are the people who tend not to vote.

DerrickWildcat February 24, 2011 at 2:47 pm

"the bill holds women responsible for protecting their fetuses from “the moment of conception,”

Like Sigourny Weaver in Aliens!

spinozasgod February 24, 2011 at 3:13 pm

i believe the way to protect things from the "moment of conception" is to use birth control.

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Nope, they want that outlawed, or at least hard to get unless you're a rich white man, too (obviously women aren't qualified to decide whether or not to use birth control); see the attempt to defund Planned Parenthood.

Extemporanus February 24, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Abort the zygocyte from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

DoktorZoom February 24, 2011 at 3:22 pm

We should take off and nuke Georgia from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Angry_Marmot February 24, 2011 at 3:37 pm

They can bill me.

EdFlintstone February 24, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Well I am not paying for a jury trial for these murderers. I say trial by ordeal. Put the stone around their neck, throw them in the water, if they float they're innocent. It's common sense fiscal conservatism.

jim89048 February 24, 2011 at 4:35 pm

No, if they float they're clearly guilty and must be put to death. If they sink, well…

Ducksworthy February 24, 2011 at 2:48 pm

And if she floats…. she's a duck!

BlueStateLibel February 24, 2011 at 2:48 pm

One day, all the women are just going to say enough, and cut you all off. But Franklin was probably cut off decades ago, sigh, wouldn't make a difference.

Extemporanus February 24, 2011 at 2:49 pm

This bill is a justice of miscarriage.

Barbara_i February 24, 2011 at 11:37 pm

Very clever!

Extemporanus February 25, 2011 at 5:21 am

Thank…

Negropolis February 25, 2011 at 1:44 am

Ah, you see what he did there, students?

Extemporanus February 25, 2011 at 5:36 am

…you.

(And thank you as well to my fellow Wanketteers for miscarrying their fists up my p-hole in such alarming numbers. It makes the fact that I've spent the day regretting not putting better English on my shit before shooting it a wee bit easier to handle.)

OkieDokieDog February 24, 2011 at 2:50 pm

http://www.politicususa.com/en/bedroom-gop-sperm-

Bring it Bobby! You misogynistic prick SOB. Let's see how many times you jack off to whatever crazy-assed pron that gets your teeny worm-like appendage to its full 2".

Damn, I really really dislike these bible humpers.

DerrickWildcat February 24, 2011 at 2:50 pm

A vote for Bobby Franklin is a vote to restore our Southern heritage!

V572625694 February 24, 2011 at 2:51 pm

As for this bill's chances, even in that legendary legistlative forum which is the Georgia General Assembly, I'd say, "Put in the jar, Paula."

Extemporanus February 24, 2011 at 3:02 pm

O/T (I think): Is your Gravatard Olivia Wilde's eye?

V572625694 February 24, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Why, yes it is.

Extemporanus February 24, 2011 at 4:02 pm

HOORAY FOR ME!

So, what do I win?

(Please say "a Victoria's Secret abortion"…please say "a Victoria's Secret abortion"…please say "a Victoria's Secret abortion"…)

V572625694 February 24, 2011 at 4:06 pm

A heartfelt upfist is all I can grant.

Fare la Volpe February 24, 2011 at 2:51 pm

In his defense, this is the only way he'd ever get close to a woman's uterus.

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 3:53 pm

I can (although am trying not to) completely picturing him giggling and sweating every time he rights the word uterus… or sex… or woman…

Zvi_Bleindmeis February 24, 2011 at 8:53 pm

….ffffffallopian tubes!

chickensmack February 24, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Like Sudafed, if you buy a pregnancy test, will you have to sign a form at the pharmacy?

NorthStarSpanx February 24, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Fundies and/or meth manufacturers ruin it for everyone!

Chet Kincaid February 24, 2011 at 3:51 pm

SHUT UP!

Trannysurprise February 24, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Oh, I know what you're going to say. "If you kill the mother, the fetus dies, too." But the fetus is going to be aborted anyway, so why not let it go down with the ship?

LakeAfflicted February 24, 2011 at 8:15 pm

"That's exactly what Rush Limbaugh said!"

Clancy_Pants February 24, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Looks like Santorum isn't the only santorum thinking they're living in medieval times.

PublicLuxury February 24, 2011 at 2:53 pm

I propose, a solution:

Right after a man sprays his holy seed inside the womb of a woman, he is to bind her hands and feet. He then MUST transport her to an approved facility. If he does not do this he will be shot. Once at the facility the woman shall have the entrance to her woman surgically sewn together, so the zygote can't get out and nothing ca get in to harm the zygote. A team of prayer warriors will surround the woman night and day. They will lay hands on her womb daily until the third month. Then the woman may be released into the custody of a designated holy sanctuary until the birth. Then the woman and child are forcibly kicked out of the holy areas and must fend for themselves as God intended. Amen.

comrad_darkness February 24, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Then the woman and child are forcibly kicked out of the holy areas and must scrounge for food scraps thrown into the gutter by rich bankers, as God intended. Amen.

OkieDokieDog February 24, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Jebus Krispy Kreme! Don't be givin' them any ideas!

Lascauxcaveman February 24, 2011 at 4:53 pm

And we'll call it "compassionate conservativism."

NYNYNY February 25, 2011 at 9:09 pm

what happened to Reply/Span. I can't span anymore? Problem with your solution pubicluxury: "he will be shot?" Let's focus on women. Women are the problem here. I think for white men a fine would be fine.

DerrickWildcat February 24, 2011 at 2:53 pm

I can still beat off right?

V572625694 February 24, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Not even in the Atlanta airport!

grandinquisitor February 24, 2011 at 3:42 pm

But that's one of my favorite places!

phlox✔ February 24, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Sorry, girls don't get to fap anymore. Read the bill!!!

Not_So_Much February 24, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Only with Bobby Franklin's hand.

comrad_darkness February 24, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Are you kidding, limits on what men do? Ha. This is the Republicans.

BeWoot February 24, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Misdemeanor.

PubOption February 24, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Georgia will make Saudi Arabia look feminist!

JustPixelz February 24, 2011 at 2:55 pm

The Repubicans will stop at nothing to protect an unborn human life (or fetus). But after that sacred life leaves the womb, it is every ex-blastocyst for himself. Health care, food, education, environmental safety — all these are beyond the legitimate scope of government to the 'Pubes.

Opinion on abortion hasn't changed in the past 30-40 years. A small number say "always illegal", a small number say "always legal" and a large group says "some limits". Meanwhile the number of actual abortions has been going down. I doubt it's due to less sexytime. Contraception works. But Pope Pence has said "no" to that too.

Perhaps the solution is free "massage services" from the government. That would reduce chances for pregnancy, right? And think how many jobs it will create!

V572625694 February 24, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Yes but hand jobs aren't the kind of high-paying manufacturing work we can build a solid middle class on.

BarryOPotter February 24, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Fine. Will you settle for a rigid middle class?

bagofmice February 24, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Turgid?

V572625694 February 24, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Throbbing!

baconzgood February 24, 2011 at 2:56 pm

What about sperm that falls out of the woman? Those are millions of babies. What will happen to me in GA if I pull out and let them die? I don't want to do anymore time.

hollywooddood February 24, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Do you mean the river of life? Like when it runs down my leg?

Fare la Volpe February 24, 2011 at 2:56 pm

This is the Republican Party in its purest form:
-Murder a woman for miscarriage
-Start a death row express lane
-Bomb brown people
-Stop sick children from getting healthcare
-Declare organ transplants "elective"
-Crash a plane into the IRS
-Threaten political opponents with gun violence

-Claim to be "pro-life"

TanzbodenKoenig February 24, 2011 at 3:40 pm

- ?????????
- PROFIT!

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Well, that goes with ALL of these… somehow.

bagofmice February 24, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Not even the decency to include a good teabagging?

Boredw/Gravity February 24, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Now that I've been able to close my mouth over this jaw-droppingly stupid proposal, I'll just say what I always say — until they can get pregnant, men need to STAY OUT of the abortion debate. Period. Sorry, no snark on this one.

NYNYNY February 25, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Didn't you hear about the Pregnant Man last year? So shut your hole. We are officially in this debate. (ps Thank you trannies)

Boredw/Gravity February 28, 2011 at 10:23 am

Shut my hole? I'd like to welcome you, sir, to this debate. You are obviously educated and well-spoken.

prommie February 24, 2011 at 2:56 pm

This here would outlaw The Pill, ya'll, which does not in most cases prevent conception, but rather, prevents implantation of the fertilized egg in the uterous. I would suspect that taking either the Pill or the morning after pill or the old 3 regular birth control pills all at once the morning after method, which they used to teach us at UF way back in the early 80s, would all count as 'human involvement."

I'm thinking this guy has put his whole portfolio in condom stocks, and he is banking on doubling his money when they become the only legal form of birth control in Georgia.

comrad_darkness February 24, 2011 at 3:12 pm

As a person whose spouse suffers from incredibly painful ovarian cysts when off the pill, I can assure you the pill stops ovulation. I'm sure it's not 100% but it's high.

LakeAfflicted February 24, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Depends on the pill–some stop ovulation, some create a "hostile hormonal environment" for fertilization or implantation.

OMG I just thought of the BEST civil lawsuit for the Georgia AG to start bringing against women!

wondering where i am February 24, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Creating a "hostile womb environment"?

Dudleydidwrong February 24, 2011 at 3:32 pm

"I'm thinking this guy has put his whole portfolio in condom stocks, and he is banking on doubling his money when they become the only legal form of birth control in Georgia."

Yeah, but if we sneak into all the Walgreens and Piggly Wigglys and start punching little holes in all the Sheik and Trojan containers hanging up there, his stock will drop like a rock. "Needles up, everybody. Let's go!"

sezme February 24, 2011 at 5:13 pm

I'm putting my whole portfolio in the pull-out method.

sezme February 24, 2011 at 2:57 pm

So basically if a woman who gets punched in the stomach by her alcoholic spouse and miscarries as a result (assuming of course that she's married to a human), she will be guilty of a felony?

Fucking brilliant. There is literally no way to improve this law.

GuyClinch February 24, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Hey, she shouldn't have gotten knocked up by a violent alkie and then gotten in the way of his fist. She should've just given him the desultory blowjob or can of Natural Ice he wanted in the first place. Obviously she's a felon.

bagofmice February 24, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Georgia.

MarcelleMarceau February 24, 2011 at 6:22 pm

She'd have to prove she wasn't an accessory to the crime. We know women are always asking for it.

Dr_pangloss February 26, 2011 at 8:00 am

Better yet with a young girl gets kicked in the stomach by her alcholic step-mom because Daddy knocked up his own daughter and whaddaya know gets pregnant, the girl goes to jail?

When you're given lemons?

CapeClod February 24, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Come on guys! The only way to make small goverment work is to take away everyone's rights and build an enormous jack booted police infrastructure to make sure that non-rights are enforced.

NorthStarSpanx February 24, 2011 at 3:38 pm

As long as the jackbooted cops don't get collective bargaining rights, the fiscally conservative and morally superior Right will be good with this.

BaldarTFlagass February 24, 2011 at 2:59 pm

“no human involvement whatsoever in the causation” of their miscarriage.
What about no human involvement whatsoever in the causation of their pregnancy?
Oh wait, we're still dealing with the problems that caused last time it happened.

emmelemm February 24, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Niiice! Took me a minute to get it, but yeah.

Dr_pangloss February 26, 2011 at 7:58 am

Jebus has a sad today.

OneDollarJuana February 24, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Rep. Bobby Franklin's bill = miscarriage of justice = felonious act on the part of Rep. Bobby Franklin.

Case closed. Throw his ass in jail. With a bunch of women. With Scott Walker's bat.

finallyhappy February 24, 2011 at 5:49 pm

actually, how about a death penalty for proven stupid legislators?

thefrontpage February 24, 2011 at 3:02 pm

The psychotic obsession with aboration by many far-right Republican conservatives can only be explained by the fact that they're simply insane.

BornInATrailer February 24, 2011 at 3:02 pm

It appears he included the classic "schools can't hand out contraceptives" as well. That always has to be thrown in in any anti-abortion push.

jmarsh04 February 24, 2011 at 3:03 pm

I just took an unscientific poll in my household, and 100% of women who have suffered miscarriages are apparently liberals. That could be the driving force behind this legislation.

Also, why are conservatives so hellbent on saving all these aborted babies? Surely, they must realize the rapture is right around the corner, since they're working their asses off to ensure it happens. Don't they know saving all these aborted liberal babies is just making extra work for God when he sorts through all the people and decides who goes to Heaven? I hope God notices who's responsible for all this extra busywork and takes that into account when he's passing judgement.

genxr February 24, 2011 at 3:12 pm

I know for a fact that my rabidly pro-life sister had at least one miscarriage, but I'm not bringing this up with her.

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Way to narc out your kin.

harry_palmer February 24, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Every time a woman menstruates, she's flushing her uterus. Since there are always at least potential fetuses affected by this operation, shouldnt we make that punishable by death just to be on the safe side?

bagofmice February 24, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Which would make "earning your red-wings" a potential act of cannibalism…

samsuncle February 24, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Is this post refering to the country of Georgia that was once part of the old USSR?

Radiotherapy February 24, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Fact: 50% of ALL conceptions miscarry, and, over 90% of women will have a miscarriage in their lifetime.

So therefore the half-life of women will be markedly decreased and it'll be raining men.

harry_palmer February 24, 2011 at 3:09 pm

This also makes Jesus by far the biggest abortionist of all time. If he had actually existed, they'd have to put him to death. Lucky for him he's a myth.

genxr February 24, 2011 at 3:11 pm

So this guy is proposing we execute 90% of all women? I might have a problem with that.

jmarsh04 February 24, 2011 at 3:29 pm

My wife has had three miscarriages, and for her (well, me too), it got harder each time. It wasn't until the third one that she started talking about it to other people and she found out that all of her friends have had at least one. She felt much better (not great, mind you, but better) after discussing this with other women and I don't understand why this is such a taboo topic amongst you gals.

P.S. – After three miscarriages, we had a beautiful baby girl, and if I had known how awesome she'd be, I'd suffer through maybe six miscarriages. My wife may disagree.

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 3:37 pm

You didn't say how long ago…
But congratulations.

wondering where i am February 24, 2011 at 8:35 pm

it'll be raining men–time to get out the cumbrella.

DerrickWildcat February 24, 2011 at 3:06 pm

It'll never pass. It's a whole 10 PAGES LONG! Who the hell has the Fucking time and patience in Georgia to get through 10 pages?

baconzgood February 24, 2011 at 3:08 pm

9 are illustrations of LOL kitties.

OkieDokieDog February 24, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Thanks for that image of them trying to figure out the lol kitteh code. I needed a laugh out of all this craziness.

DashboardBuddha February 24, 2011 at 7:09 pm

eyem in ur woom eatin all ur babiez

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Who "has the Fucking time and patience in Georgia" to teach people to read? Not many, obviously.

zhubajie February 24, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Congress gave up reading the bills long ago and I expect legislatures did too.

hollywooddood February 24, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Keep your big government hands out of my 'gina.

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 3:08 pm

All your uterus are belong to us.

proudgrampa February 24, 2011 at 3:08 pm

My. God. What rock did this creature crawl out from under? Someone, please, pick it up and smash him with it.

comrad_darkness February 24, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Republicans aren't going to stop until the U.S. is El Salvador and it's illegal to treat an ectopic pregnancy until it bursts and is a medical emergency.

God is the world's biggest abortionist. Suck on it, American Taliban/Republican Party.

genxr February 24, 2011 at 4:19 pm

This is necessary because women with loose morals are using ectopic pregnancies as a form of birth control.

Sometimes I wonder if these people are aware of the realities of pregnancy at all, or if they think every single pregnancy in the world goes perfectly well until some nefarious doctor with an evil laugh decides to abort it for fun.

sati_demise February 24, 2011 at 6:42 pm

so full of win

weejee February 24, 2011 at 3:10 pm

And MoJo reported this morn that Nebraska is trying to resurrect the South Dakota law making the killing of aborters justifiable homicide. And all this from assholes who screech and wail that the gubberment overreaches 24/7.

V572625694 February 24, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Can we all agree to use the more-cumbersome but less-pejorative term "gynecologists who perform abortions" to describe these docs? We don't call thoracic surgeons appendectomists.

genxr February 24, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Millions of appendicies are murdered every year in this country. It's appendicide I tells ya!

weejee February 24, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Didn't mean to pan the docs, my bad. My read of that piece of shit bill was more like Planned Parenthood's Melissa Grant, in that this legislation if passed would mean open season not only on the gynecologists but the nurses, the staff of Planned Parenthood, the bus driver who took fetus there, and of course ma.

finallyhappy February 24, 2011 at 5:52 pm

the gubberint only overreaches when it is trying to help people- it is ok when it tries to kill women, browns, blacks and the poor- also foreigners

PsycWench February 24, 2011 at 3:11 pm

As someone who experienced TWO miscarriages, I have to admit that I'm not coming up with any snark. Just fury. Snark-free fury. The emotional trauma of the first one, in particular, exceeded that of finding out my parents were divorcing.

gef05 February 24, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Apparently this awful man and his wife get active in the church at Cumming, Georgia.

So, some questions for Mr Franklin:

-what's Cumming like?
-does your wife like Cumming?
-is Cumming safe?
-is Cumming mentioned in your bible? If so, what does it teach us about Cumming?

etc etc ad nauseum

Edit:

Oh, and one more thing related to Cumming.

If a man ejaculates while sleeping, will he be sent to prison for killing all that sperm?

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 3:39 pm

"-does your wife like Cumming? "

How the FUCK would he know?

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 3:46 pm

For one thing, a man who hates women this much probably refuses to go down on or use his fingers on a woman, but only stick it in her and get off himself; she probably only knows from alone time.

HistoriCat February 24, 2011 at 4:26 pm

She would really like to find out about Cumming.

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 4:32 pm

She could start with X-Men 2 and Josie and the Pussycats (which is surprisingly a quality film), but be warned that he's gay and won't be interested in her.

DaRooster February 26, 2011 at 2:54 am

These are ALL why I pose the question…
He's a friggin' HOMOBILLY.

Dudleydidwrong February 24, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Cumming, Georgia advertises itself as "The gateway to leisure living." WTF? Here we thought we knew what the "gateway to fun" was but now Franklin has made that gateway off limits lest there be a miscarriage and arrest. I wonder if there's a Fist, GA nearby? I'd like to shove it up his ass to block up his gateway.

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 4:14 pm

I ain't goin' there…

and I mean it.

NorthStarSpanx February 24, 2011 at 3:43 pm

I think Colonel Ingess hails from Cumming.

Monsieur_Grumpe February 24, 2011 at 3:12 pm

I’m thinking about running for office so I can introduce bills that:

Criminalize stupidity.
Make it illegal to whistle in a work environment.
Demand public flogging for farting in an elevator.
Call for the death penalty for anyone that starts a sentence with “Rush said…”
Ban bumper stickers.
AND
Provide free jet packs for everyone that can pass high school physics.

Remember to vote often for Grumpe!

Redhead February 24, 2011 at 3:18 pm

And if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a right defended more adamantly than the right to bear arms.

This bill is a slap in the face to women. Oftentimes miscarriages are caused because the fetus has a genetic defect – nature's way of trying to prevent the Sarah Palins of the world. Sometimes they're caused because the woman had her daily cup of coffee every day for two weeks before she knew she was pregnant, or had a glass of wine with dinner in that time frame. Sometimes it's because *gasp* something was wrong with the man's sperm and it caused problems with the fetus. Should the father face the death penalty as well unless he can prove there was nothing wrong with his sperm?

Of course not. This bill is being promoted by men who consider women to be not people but baby factors, only useful for blow jobs (consensual or not) and incubating babies when men choose to make women incubate babies, whether they are wanted or not. Why not go ahead and define the meaning of pregnant to mean any person with tits and a uterus who could possibly at some point in time incubate a baby? That's where they're heading with this anyway. Jackasses.

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 3:21 pm

They're trying to turn America into the Republic of Gilead; sadly looking at the teabaggers and people like this make me afraid that Atwood was prophetic.

Redhead February 24, 2011 at 3:36 pm

It's really sad when the same people trying to outlaw abortion are also the same people trying to outlaw miscarriage, defunding sex ed and initiatives to teach people about birth control, defunding and trying to close clinics that try to teach about birth control and make sure underserved populations have access to medical care and birth control, and trying to redefine rape even to exclude the vast majority of non-consensual sexual attacks… women are not children. We are capable of making decisions for ourselves concerning our own lives, despite the best efforts from these patronizing jackasses.

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 4:31 pm

I'm sure Bobby Franklin thinks you're clearly not able to make a decision for yourself, if you're not voting for Bobby Franklin.

And as for that "we are not children" stuff, you librul, we are ALL children … Jeebus' children.

Redhead February 24, 2011 at 4:56 pm

It's like he WANTS me to beat my head against the wall until I have brain damage putting me on the mental level of a child.

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Well how else are those sluts who have sex without the sanction of a church marriage going to get the punishment they deserve? I'm sure they also don't want unmarried women to get to decide whether to keep the baby, instead going back to the old system where they're whisked off into hiding for six months, then as soon as the baby is born they're taken from her and adopted by some wealthy couple who will pretend it's natural kid. Note: this only applies with white babies; obviously no rich white family wants a black or multiracial baby; they'll get shuffled through the foster care system.

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 3:42 pm

"Oftentimes miscarriages are caused because the fetus has a genetic defect – nature's way of trying to prevent the Sarah Palins of the world."

Couldn't agree more! I often explain, "People like that are why tigers sometimes eat their young."

Jerri February 24, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Here's some reading from 2006 on the exciting concept of "Pre-pregnancy." (Now, most of these ideas make sense–don't smoke, eat well, etc., but the idea that a woman ought to do these things not for herself and her own health, but because she might get knocked up and must be prepared at all times for it is just a touch insulting).

"New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves — and to be treated by the health care system — as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon."
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/arti

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 4:34 pm

And once we're beyond ever being pre-pregnant, I guess we should just go jump off the nearest bridge … or will there be death panels for that?

Jerri February 24, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Maybe if you're a wacky, doting aunt they'll let you live? As someone rapidly approaching post-pre-pregnancy sans children, I know I've got my fingers crossed.

Redhead February 24, 2011 at 5:00 pm

So I should just go sit in a padded room until some guy decides that it's time for me to incubate a baby and then I should incubate the baby because he told me so? Because my only contribution to society is my ability to incubate fetuses? Jesus fucking christ I hate people.

Jerri February 24, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Yes, but be sure to bring a bottle of folic acid tablets with you into the room.

Pragmatist2 February 24, 2011 at 3:19 pm

They haven't followed their logic to its natural end. If you execute woman after they have had an abortion or miscarriage, you don't save a single fetus. But if you execute all pregnant woman then you can prevent all abortions and miscarriages.

Gopherit February 24, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Slightly off topic, but $20 says that guy has a neoprene suit and at least 3 baby jesus buttplugs at home. The picture says it all.

NorthStarSpanx February 24, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Every month, I instruct my uterine walls not to shed cells to inform me the grim news that I am a failure as a Fertile Myrtle.

What good am I as a woman to not have a litter of children and shoes on my feet?

VespulaMaculata February 24, 2011 at 3:23 pm

This level of stupid feels like a nominee for the next round of Weeping Eagle awards.

DerrickWildcat February 24, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Your Honor: The woman in the picture gave me the sexy eyes and then proceeded to not allow me to rape her. All I ask is for the court to demand that she allow me to rightfully rape her…and then have her punished for allowing me to do it.
God Bless America and support our troops.
Amen.

Jason_inthe_Peg February 24, 2011 at 3:57 pm

I know you joke but here in the Great White North we are busy responding to this dick-head:
http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/rap

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 4:36 pm

And whatever you do, don't call her a "victim."

doxastic February 24, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Under Rep. Franklin’s bill, HB 1, women who miscarry could become felons if they cannot prove that there was “no human involvement whatsoever in the causation” of their miscarriage.
Ladies are assumed murderers until proven naturally defective.

walstib February 24, 2011 at 3:26 pm

I weep for my adopted state…

Why must I live amongst all these crazy Crackers????

WHY?

Thurman Munster IV February 24, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Kinda like shootin' fish in a barrel ain't it, these imbeciles.

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Wait… who we shootin'?

Iam_Who_Iam February 24, 2011 at 3:29 pm

My husband and I were discussing this story and I asked what happened to the Republicans who were so worried about keeping the government out of the doctors’ office. His response: “They don’t want government in the doctors’ office; they want the police in your pussy.”

bagofmice February 24, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Pussy Police.. Arrest this girl
Her Hitler hairdo, it's making me feel ill.

El Pinche February 24, 2011 at 3:37 pm

So when's slavery coming back?

Chet Kincaid February 24, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Don't know precisely, but you don't think slaves had any fucking unions, do you?

DaRooster February 24, 2011 at 4:21 pm

As soon as enough Browns can be bred on the Fetal Farms in the south.

HistoriCat February 24, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Hey now! Don't get ahead of things. Here's the order:
1) Reduce status of women
2) Remove business-interfering child labor laws
3) Reintroduce slavery*

*May need to come up with a re-branding campaign. The old brand retains some significant tarnish amongst a segment of the population.

zhubajie February 24, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Probably debt serfdom first.

DashboardBuddha February 24, 2011 at 3:44 pm

I nominate this as this week's What the FUCK moment.

GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 5:31 pm

I second it.
Time to start drinking, before I start crying.

DashboardBuddha February 24, 2011 at 6:40 pm

I find that my tears bring out the subtle flavors in a my glass of bottom shelf scotch. (close to the poor, meant for the poor)

emmelemm February 24, 2011 at 6:45 pm

The week isn't even close to over yet. Who knows what lurks around the corner?

(Just sayin'.)

DashboardBuddha February 24, 2011 at 7:04 pm

If something comes along to top that, I'm going to start slashing some wrist. Mine, his…I'm not picky.

TanzbodenKoenig February 24, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Criminalize everyone else's sexuality, this guy's a repugnant toad so it's not like he's getting any anyway…. You can't explain that!

bravo_sierra February 24, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Could someone who is anti-abortion and yet opposed to this bill explain to me their logic? It makes total sense to me – if you're anti-abortion, chances are you think of fetuses as people. In which case, a dead fetus demands explanation.

GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Is this going to turn into one of those "liberals only abort white babbies" rants?

MarcelleMarceau February 24, 2011 at 5:50 pm

Run away, Sierra, and take your clacking coconuts with you.

sati_demise February 24, 2011 at 6:48 pm

the laws of nature, the mysterious hand of God needs to explain the reason he allows miscarriages.
Will god be brought into court by subpoena?

genxr February 24, 2011 at 8:01 pm

As long as God looks and talks like George Burns, yes. Call your next witness.

problemwithcaring February 25, 2011 at 3:10 am

Zygote comes up sluffage comes down. Never a miscommunication.

LakeAfflicted February 24, 2011 at 9:07 pm

Law & Order: Georgia Miscarriage Division.

"Ma'am, you were the last person to have contact with the deceased–we're going to need to ask you a few questions."
"Am I a suspect, Detective?"
"Ma'am, a fetus died on your watch. Now I don't know how they do things where you're from, but you miscarry here in Georgia, you'd better have a darn good explanation."
"I think I'd better speak with a lawyer now."

hagajim February 24, 2011 at 4:00 pm

I don't even know how to react to this….did the Republicans elected in 2010 all drink the Kool-Aid of a thousand retards? This shit is so absurd that ….that…oh fuck I'm speechless.

GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 5:35 pm

I can only imagine that the fact that a black man was elected President has sent them all down the rails on a crazy train.

Redhead February 24, 2011 at 4:02 pm

So now, thanks the republicans, women who have been raped have to prove that they didn't want it, didn't know the guy and were physically injured before they can be considered rape victims instead of sluts. And now, after losing a baby (wanted or not), they must prove that they didn't do anything, intentional or unintentional or, apparently, have or pass on a genetic defect in order to keep living?

What's next? Do I have to cut open my chest and show that my heart is beating before republicans will allow me to keep breathing?

johnnymeatworth February 24, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Does this mean we can retroactively sentence Scarlett O'Hara to death for falling down the stairs and losing her second child in Gone With The Wind?

sati_demise February 24, 2011 at 6:49 pm

Frankly, I dont give a damn.

mourningnmerica February 24, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Hey, you know, I think I'm going to throw a mass suicide party. I'm thinking it's finally time. Anyone want to join me?

GuyClinch February 24, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Can we retroactively convict this cretin's mother for *not* miscarrying him?

sportshort February 24, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Well, I knew when they started fluoridating the water back in the 60's that that shit would come back to haunt us.

widestanceroman February 24, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Every day, I mourn how that Civil War thing turned out. We should have let the south go when we had the chance. Been nuthin' but trouble from the get-go.

zhubajie February 24, 2011 at 6:57 pm

After the Sioux Revolt of 1862, the eastern Sioux were totally expelled from their old homes in Minnesota. (That was after the leaders were hanged — still the biggest execution in US history.) Perhaps the Confederates should have been sent away….

mrblifil February 24, 2011 at 4:17 pm

That's what they get for having such gross vaginas.

Winnie_Cooper February 24, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Is there some kind of miscarriage license that I should apply for if I go to Georgia while pregnant? You know, one that says how much I really, really want this baby, so if I miscarry (like, oh, 1/4 of all pregnancies), it's not my bad?

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 5:18 pm

I have a feeling the insurance industry would be happy to come up with a product to provide us with enough money to defend ourselves should Franklin & Co. decide to prosecute. For a profit, of course.

Ramon X February 24, 2011 at 4:23 pm

This guy is giving the death penalty a bad name.

Wilcoxyz February 24, 2011 at 4:32 pm

We're almost at slapping criminal penalties on original sin. Sorry ladies. But hey, it's not like we're making you wear burkas.

weejee February 24, 2011 at 4:34 pm

/snark off
As a member of the Y chromosome tribe I gotta say that although we make up less that 50% of the population we gotta be responsible for about 90% of the really, really, really stupid shit done in the world. And yeah, that 90% might be a bit light, but Sara, Xtine, and someothers are making concerted efforts to join the heavy to XY gene Club Stupid.

When it comes to female reproductive rights, why is it almost always the guys who come up with the bills? I have a cuz who gave da church a priest and a nun who is crazy anti-abortion, but that's pretty well it in our clan including both Papists, Non-Papists, and those of us floundering about agnostics and atheists. As a guy, the fact it always seems always to be the guys who are fisting women's reproductive rights in the legislature is embarrassing. It pisses me off, too, also.
/snark on

at sometime later

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 5:24 pm

It's almost always men who are parading around in front of clinics, too. When I was a NARAL volunteer-escort for women trying to enter Pittsburgh's Planned Parenthood offices unmolested, the vast majority of the demonstrators who were screaming at and spitting on me were men. Men I always imagined stayed awake at night worrying that their mothers had tried to abort them.

genxr February 24, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Tonight, on America's Most Wanted: Fetal Justice…

JackObin February 24, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Let's piss these morons off and just stop fucking. Oh wait. What is it they hate so much? They hate fucking, but love babies? I'm confused.

MarcelleMarceau February 24, 2011 at 5:58 pm

It's women they hate for their own failure to measure up. I've never met a fundamentalist who didn't project their own inadequacy on the female of the species.

user-of-owls February 24, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Upon hearing news of this, Koko the ape signed to her handler, "Explain to me again your preposterous idea of evolution? Ha Ha Ha!"

superburrito February 24, 2011 at 5:31 pm

still not illegal enough.

BarackMyWorld February 24, 2011 at 5:33 pm

The problem with people yelling "the government is taking away our freedom" every time a new corporate regulation is enacted is that when someone really IS trying to take away peoples' freedom, no one notices.

Troubledog February 24, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Bobby Franklin is good at getting people to talk about Bobby Franklin.

ShaveTheWhales February 24, 2011 at 6:07 pm

I rather think this is just another example of what has become a pretty standard tactic of the forced-birth people:

1. Write 10 pages of very restrictive (and unconstitutional) stuff — like defining a blastula as a "human being".

2. Top it off with some extra crazy sauce.

3. "Compromise" by removing some of the extra crazy.

4. ?????

5. Profit!! == protect those babbies from conception 'til birth (only).

emmelemm February 24, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Step 5, for sure. Let your crazy flag fly, inch it up a little higher than everybody else's, and pretty soon you've got your own PAC and people be stone cold donatin'.

Rent – paid! Gourmet anus burgers every night! Etc. and so on…

PubOption February 24, 2011 at 6:07 pm

It seems that Franklin wants abolish driver's licenses, so that government does not restrict the right to travel, but is quite happy to have government interfering in miscarriages.
See http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/01/31/georgia-rep
Has he been drinking moonshine with too much methanol?

zhubajie February 24, 2011 at 6:44 pm

"No, the answer is to have the government of Georgia kill all the women in its state right now just to be safe. "

Some how this makes me think of Neal Horsley, the Georgia Mule Fucker.

Barrelhse February 24, 2011 at 6:56 pm

He's wearing my jacket.

DashboardBuddha February 24, 2011 at 7:11 pm

This asshat should be locked in a room with a hundred surly teenagers saying, "Hey! I didn't ask to be born".

We'll see how long his anti-abortion stance lasts then.

Worthly Wokette Skum February 24, 2011 at 7:43 pm

I smell 2012 presidential contender.

LetUsBray February 24, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Oh, that's just his indifferently-wiped butt.

Worthly Wokette Skum February 24, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Don't think much of the bill, but I'd like to hear more about "holding all possibly-pregnant women under lock and key".

littlebigdaddy February 24, 2011 at 8:04 pm

His misogyny and obvious latent homosexuality don't stop him from giving Miss Corn Cob the ole reacharound.

ttommyunger February 24, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Don't blame Bobby, he didn't asked to born retarded. Blame the assclowns who keep sending him to the State Capital so he can keep getting his name in print for submitting the most inane Bills any legislative body has ever fucking seen. He's got somebody's hand up his ass just like the Koch Brothers have theirs up Walker's ass in Wisconsin. Meanwhile Bobby gets to see his picture in the paper every Month and be the darling of the Waffle House Set.

VinnyThePooh February 24, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Your turn, Florida.

Tobacky February 24, 2011 at 10:15 pm

'men are awesome at not having miscarriages'. Jack, have I told you lately that I love you?

staywhereyouare February 24, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Maybe Bobby was an aborted baby. In his past life.

LetUsBray February 24, 2011 at 10:48 pm

if I were God I'd fix it so Franklin could be impregnated by getting raped in the face. Then I'd send a bunch of crackers who think he's got a real purty mouth.

Negropolis February 25, 2011 at 1:34 am

I love how the writer refutes the points with logic, as if she should be entertaining this bullshit to begin with. This is exactly the kind of thing that gives these fuckers even an inkling of legitimacy. You don't attempt to logically deconstruct a totally bat-shit insane piece of legislation.

undeterredbyreality February 25, 2011 at 2:11 am

Why wait for a zygote? Kill them for menstruating without becoming pregnant! They're killing the egg after all. And kill all men who masturbate or have wet dreams, too! (Nocturnal emission, excuse me.) And let's have everybody (that is, of course, all females of breeding age) pregnant and having babies all the time! And while we're at it, let's make it a law that men have to breed with any female of breeding age they see whenever they get a hard-on, so as not to spill that seed upon the ground!

denverite February 25, 2011 at 2:12 am

Yeah, "Pro-Life" at its finest ~

Dr_pangloss February 26, 2011 at 7:57 am

Seriously What the Fuck is wrong with Georgia?

outragedcitizen March 1, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Does this Franklin asshole know that (1) he is terrified of women and (2) he's a closet gay?

deleted4329764 March 2, 2011 at 9:17 am

I believe I have the solution to this problem. All men residing in or visiting Georgia will simply have to surrender their genitals to state authorities! This should solve the difficulty!

jheaux July 27, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Simple fix for Georgia women. Move. It's like if women are not welcome in Georgia then maybe if they are not there, they will be valued. It's like Alaska, where there are 10 men for 1 woman so whoever gets the girl had better damn well appreciate and respect her. There apparently are too many women who live in Georgia. My plan is to ask women to depopulate places where the government has determined they are second class citizens and incubators and then let's see if this idiot gets relected. (Ah….nice fantasy.)

baconzgood February 24, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Up fist History Kitty for the image.

SorosBot February 24, 2011 at 3:32 pm

How about parasitic twins? (Example: http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/06/19/e… )There, one of the fetuses "eats" most of the other in utero; should that fetus be tried for murder?

Angry_Marmot February 24, 2011 at 3:42 pm

And if one of the twins absorbs the other, who then is the felon? Supreme Court, here we come!

DoktorZoom February 24, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Only liberals believe that nonsense.

Oblios_Cap February 24, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Ever since they got away with drug testing, where you have to prove you're not stoned and where your employer actually owns you 24/7, these bastards just assume you're guilty. Especially if you're poor or, apparently, a woman.

MoeDeLawn February 24, 2011 at 3:53 pm

God wants wimmens to be bio-logical – keep poopin them babbies!

Lascauxcaveman February 24, 2011 at 4:56 pm

"Not tonight dear, my middle class has a headache."

LetUsBray February 24, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Right, you have a little electric chair waiting in the delivery room…

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