also also sexism

BREAKING: Person Upset By Camera Stuck In His Face a UNION MEMBER

The Republicans have found their “union thug” of the Wisconsin protests! Hooray! No more collective bargaining for you, Mick. Except this didn’t happen in Wisconsin, where, we suppose, people like this have been unable to enrage the gentle “Wisconsin nice” union members who are staging knit-ins, of all things. It happened outside FreedomWorks’ offices in D.C. So we all know the guy pestering the guy in the union t-shirt will be fine, because he has a master’s degree and is thus a certified genius. But what about the woman holding the camera? Is she okay? No. She was raped. Raped by socialism. And her harrowing tale is the top story of the conservative Internet.

She got a prime slot at RedState to make her case:

In addition, it’s disgusting to me that the first response I received from the Left was rationalization. “You were too close, respect personal space” and “well he obviously didn’t want to be filmed!” – essentially, it’s the “her skirt was too short” defense. No one deserves to be hit. The concern from a bystander was that “You’ll get on the news, stop it!” Unfortunately for him, he did not know who he was dealing with. I will ensure that this happens.

Oh yeah, blame the victim! Blame the person shoving cameras in union members’ faces hoping one of them will take the bait and can be called a “thug!” All this woman ever wanted to do as a little girl was use misleading YouTube videos to undermine the humanity of her political opponents. She didn’t know her CAMERA would be PUSHED BY A GUY’S SIGN, which is basically rape, you guys. [RedState]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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      1. horsedreamer_1

        Take out the 'le' — which is a French pronoun, so it doesn't belong, anyway — & you get MOSQUE. Add the French pronoun to the front, you have LE MOSQUE. This is clearly an Algerian plot to undermine American resolve in the war on socialism.

  1. SorosBot

    No, he doesn't hit people he disagrees with, he shows a camera of assholes who won't get the fuck out of his face and just keep harassing him. And he didn't even hit her, so stop seeing he did. Those anti-freedom-working pricks deserved it.

    1. DaRooster

      Sounds like "personal space" is important to you also…

      Welp, get over it! If you don't make $1M per year and take advantage of the "minions" you don't get to own personal space pal.

      1. SorosBot

        What I want to know is how the FreedoWorks morons would react if a pair of big black guys stuck a camera in their face and started asking them inane questions.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Gah when do we get to send Breitbart , Okeefe et al to swedish Mexican prison.

      Fixed. Also, come for the torture, stay for the beheading!

      1. HistoriCat

        You know, if we're not going to actually close Camp X-ray at Guantanamo, maybe we should make full use of it.

  2. Oblios_Cap

    Hell, I have a Master's degree and I'm not alright. But I am certifiable and a genius.

    How fortutious that this happened right outside of Dick's "Freedumb Wurkz" office so that it could be captured on film.

    Say, is Dick in prison yet?

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Since I know a ton of people with doctorates (okay, JDs, but the word doctorate is right in there) who are certifiable morons, I'm not really impressed with this guy's immediate retreat to his Master's degree (probably in poli sci from some right wing asshat department) as some "proof" of intelligence.

      Oily Taitz, DDS, JD, anyone?

      1. danceswithpalin

        Something tells me the "masters degree" came from Regent, Ave Maria or one of those other wing nut diploma mills.

        1. poncho_pilot

          i know a guy who had to take a master's because he failed to get his doctorate essentially because he was lazy and entitled and his committee was trying to be nice. this was at UW-Madison.

          or maybe he's self-accredited like Rand Paul.

  3. memzilla

    Only FreedumbWorks could make you yearn for the halcyon days of organized labor as shown in On The Waterfront.

  4. EatsBabyDingos

    True Story: Wife is a shop steward for an airline (customer service at DCA for King Ted Air). Old friend now works for Koch (I was his best man at both his weddings; 2nd was a 300 person sit down for Important People-its a Republican thing; you wouldn't understand). Koch "friend" finds out about union ties. Berates her at Super Bowl in front of 30 friends and says unions are ruining America. He makes $300K a year; wife made $28K sucking up to pompous gasbags like this guy.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Second wedding? As in, Mr Republican, Solid American Family Values, Wholesome Wholesome Wholesome, is a divorce?


      1. SayItWithWookies

        Don't jump to conclusions — his first wife might've died getting caught up in the wringer while doing the laundry.

  5. SexySmurf

    When will those elitist forklift operators stop oppressing the common man (who happens to have a Master's degree and brags about it at every opportunity).

    1. SorosBot

      God, I wanted to punch arrogant little prick when he gave that smug "Master's Degree" comeback. Note, moron: that doesn't make the poor guy you were harassing any less right, you are an idiot.

    2. Dudleydidwrong

      Master's degree in fish hook baiting. Those master baiters are a tough, tough lot. He's a real political wanker.

    3. DoktorZoom

      I have a PhD, and I can say with authority that the KochSucker was definitely an MBA. That doesn't really count as an academic degree anyway. So there.

  6. user-of-owls

    Unbelievable! Michigan Rep. Pete Hoekstra just tweeted:

    Was slightly bumped when I tried to crawl up a union thug's nose today. Felt just like being one of Lt. Col. Kibibi Mutware's victims.

    1. PuckStopsHere

      Although he may still be calling himself one, Hoekstra, just for the record, is no longer a Member and we can all thank God for that. (Whomever you conceive God to be, Harry Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.) He quit the House to run for MI Gov. Why did he choose to run for Gov? Because, wait for it, he was tired of being the Dumbest Son-of-a-Bitch in Congreff. Hoekstra is said to be considering a run for Senate and I am considering telling him to go and fuck right off the next time the opportunity avails itself so to do. What an asshole this one is.

        1. PuckStopsHere

          Thank you, user! I missed a meme. I have no idea how this could have happened–especially a meme as tasty as this. I appreciate you bringing me up to speed and would go somewhere and quietly feel great shame relative to my earlier ignorance if I had any pride. Happily, as it turns out I do not.

  7. freakishlywrong

    Hah! Wait till about noon today when the R-Assholes in the Wisconsin assembly vote to strip the thugs of their collective bargaining rights. I have a feeling this will look like the utterly ridiculous setup that it is.

    1. Barbara_i

      Because they know that the IRS can't harass him because they are working hard to expedite our tax returns. *snicker*

  8. weejee

    And tightie whitie racists in the other Washington, set for reallz backpack bombs packed with shrapnel and anti-coagulants along the Spokane MLK Day parade route and you don't hear a peep. Does RedState think those assholes were patriots for fuck sake?

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Actually, yes.

      … Until, that is, Erick, Son of Erick, goes Full Brock (out-of-the-closet, working for Media Matters). Then, he'll beg forgiveness.

  9. Mumbletypeg

    union members who are staging knit-ins.

    What a poignant photo, and telling as well. Bravo, gentle ladies, and pour another hot toddy for me. I've fallen behind on my stitching projects too, since airport security started confiscating needles at the gate. Yep, sisters in yarns are definitely a force to be reckoned with.

  10. mumbly_joe

    essentially, it’s the “her skirt was too short” defense

    Aaand I'm pretty sure this person was just as disgusted when Bill O'Rielly made exactly that claim on his show about a rape/murder victim, repeatedly. Right?

    1. Mumbletypeg

      Arriving late to the scene (3+ days w/ broken 'net access at work) to say Bravo to you Joe for breaking the three-digit pee ceiling~

      1. mumbly_joe

        Aw, shucks, thanks. I was stuck at 99 forever- it felt like FIVE AND A HALF YEARS.

        And boo to internet death at work, and having to do work things instead. I know that pain all too well.

    2. Polythene Pam

      And… It's *not* the "her skirt was too short" defense. It's the "she was harrassing me so I defended myself" defense. She wasn't just minding her own business, filming the scenery when he attacked her because she had a camera.

      1. SorosBot

        Sort of a quick, street version of filing a sexual harassment suit when your boss keeps making unwanted sexual advances?

      2. mumbly_joe

        Shoving video cameras in peoples' faces like that also makes for deeply shitty camerawork, as evidenced above. Unless you're trying to make a horror movie on a shoestring budget or bait some guy into shoving you to establish basic personal space boundries, there's absolutely no reason to do it.

  11. V572625694

    Rahm Emmanuel disapproves of this misappropriation of the term "thug," which is only properly applied to Chicago politicians.

  12. user-of-owls

    This bit of fecal matter is braggin' on having a fucking Masters? I teach those nitwits, for chrissake we give MAs to tree stumps if their check clears. Don't believe me? Below is a verbatim copy of an email from a person we actually gave a fucking MA to. Read it and weep for our future:

    Good morning Dr.User-of-Owls, [time stamp on the email: 5:50 pm]

    This is ________. It has been a few years since we lasted communicated, but hopefully still remember me. Since I have graduated, I’ve been working as part of a therapeutic team that specializes in the rehabilitation of juvenile sexual offenders. Unexpectedly, I really enjoy working in the mental health arena and with adolescents. I feel as though, I am making a difference in the lives of those I work with. And I wish to make more of a contribute and become an advocate for the mental health industry. I feel in order to accomplish these goals I need to further my education. I am writing you to ask if you would be willing to write a letter of recommendation for me as part of my application process into PsyD and Ph.D. programs.

    As a side note, I’ve also been going through the application process for the FBI. I am nearing the end of the process, but the agency has issued a hiring freeze. Even if I received a date of entry for the FBI, I would continue with the PsyD and Ph.D. programs.

    Thank you,

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Obviously, the MA that was bestowed upon this individual was not in any subject relating to proficiency in written English. At least his spell check worked.

      1. weejee

        Beloved spell czech. Type in 'cathodic protection' and that is instantly transmogrified to 'Catholic protection'. Sweet! Instead of welding anodes to the hull of yer boat to fight the corrosion, you just strap a Bishop or two to the rudder.

        1. Ducksworthy

          Krist. The level of erudition displayed on this here blog thingie is truly awesome. How many years of Wontetting with get me a PhD?

      2. user-of-owls

        Sort of. It was in Political Science, where there is usually some expectation that one can write better than a three-year old who's retarded and drunk. Engineering student? Not so much.

        *glances furtively below*

        1. weejee

          Teh parchment actually says Fizzuhcal Kemust and wuz granted by the College of Lay-around And Sleep (LAS – at least that's what my engineering and biz degreed colleagues say).

    2. OneDollarJuana

      In my experience most students enrolled in psychology courses are trying to self-diagnose and self-treat their problems. Some of the most messed-up people I've ever run across.

      (At least sober. The most messed-up people I've met were at Grateful Dead concerts.)

      1. HuddledMass

        I used to think social workers (and MSW candidates) are more inherently fucked up than psychologists/psych students, but you occasionally hit a really good MSW and they skew the curve…

    3. V572625694

      So did you write the recommendo, with a cc to the FBI? In addition to being a rhetorical retard, this person sounds like he or she has some issues with authority.

  13. EatsBabyDingos

    "Technically" it's my house, but as an entitled person I am sure he thinks it is his. And yes, it was the last straw.

  14. freakishlywrong

    Before I go and scrub my Firefox, (it went to Redstate and got ick on it), I must comment on the truly bizarre penchant of wingers whipping out furries for fucking everything. And he rushed in to his suit to wave that stupid sign at a bus full of of welders or whatever. Pander this, fuckwits.

    1. PabaBritannica

      I think the IWW organized a Starbucks or 2 in NYC. I want to see them strike and start setting espresso beans on fire like they do in Africa to protest the World Bank and shit.

    2. LesBontemps

      Honestly, if they can have Zombie Reagan, why can't we have Zombie Big Bill Haywood?

      Actually, that's a cage match I'd love to see.

  15. DeeJayKitteh

    What a savage! Doesn't he know the correct response would be to throw money at her and mock any disability she may have (stupidity being the obvious one).

  16. CapnFatback

    Holy shit! At :45, we entered the Matrix! Except in this version, Morpheus is a whiny, badgering white dude who's "pretty sure" he has a Master's degree!

  17. JustPixelz

    From the sound of the argument, the camera pushing was a step up in tone. "You're stupid." "No, you're stupid times infinity." Can't we just agree that the truth is somewhere in between?

  18. SilverFox

    i only wish that these little reaganites would try this shit with a union thug from my beloved new jersey, instead of the polite midwestern state of wisconsin.

    1. FNMA

      A very good friend of mine is a retired union welder. Guy's 83 years old and had been through his share of strikes and union fights and could still kick your ass if the situation called for it. They try something like this with him, they'll be digging that camera out of some Master's Degree-holding douchebag's colon.

    2. GOPCrusher

      I question whether or not this was an actual union "thug". The thugs I know, the next picture coming from that camera would have been of her colon.

  19. Redhead

    You actually have to be the victim in a scenario before you can cry about victim-blaming.

    None of the other paparazzi whine about victim-blaming or compare themselves to rape victims (especially tasteless after Logan's attack, which the republicans were so happy to publicize) when they get punched for intruding into personal space. If a guy breaks into my house and I throw the first punch at him (because he violated my personal space), he doesn't whine and compare himself to a rape victim.

    I'm glad this bitch's life is so great that she has to go create drama so she has even an imagined victimhood to whine about – though I'm sure she could find more constructive uses of her time than imitating paparazzi and acting like a spoiled bratty 13-year-old.

    1. twaingirl

      Expecting logic from a RedStater is like expecting Boehner to stop crying. Moral: Stop having expectations.

  20. OneDollarJuana

    True story: A teacher friend of mine exercised her free speech at a school rally and got the right-wing homophobes all in a tizzy. At one of the school board meetings addressing the issue her long-time dentist got up and spoke out against her. Later, when my friend's husband told the dentist they were getting a new dentist, her (ex)dentist was shocked that he took the insult to and intolerance of his wife personally. Free speech isn't free, I guess.

  21. genxr

    "They’ve been comparing themselves to the Egyptians ousting Mubarak. Looks like they’re not too far off, given that they share the tendency to assault women with cameras."

    Wow. That is wrong in so many ways.

  22. Beowoof

    Gee I wonder what happen if I went out and egged people on at Teabagger rally. After all they're packing heat for a reason.

  23. gef05

    This is a form of the Overton Window at work. By week's end the folks knitting will be accused of acts of violence.

  24. PabaBritannica

    I could never protest FreedomWorks because I'd immediately want to know where Penis Navy and Vagina Coast Guard are.

  25. chickensmack

    I didn't see an assault at all. I was looking at Sean Connery, and suddenly a disembodied voice said "Hey!"

    And then I heard a whiney white man say "Was that assault? Was that assault?"

  26. harry_palmer

    "it’s disgusting to me that the first response I received from the Left was rationalization." Because anything having something to do with "rational" is against everything I stand for.

  27. V572625694

    BREAKING: Comments on the next post, which is about SARAH PALIN, are disabled. Huh? Did the admin get sucked through a wormhole?

    1. SorosBot

      I was wondering why there were no other comments displayed when I made mine, even though the original post had been up awhile.

  28. SayItWithWookies

    So if a real reporter gets sexually assaulted she was asking for it, but if a conservative drops her cell phone it's assault. This American exceptionalism thing has just gotten too difficult to keep up with without some kind of chart.

  29. Snarke_Diem

    Friendly RW anchor baby Michelle Malkin is all over this – she's already counting on months of outrage.

  30. weejee

    Back in the day, my alma mater had Rhet 101, 102, and 103. These were 3-hour semester courses. Iffin' ya got an A in 101 you could say adios. Same for a B in 102. Ya had to get a C in 103. The College of Engineering would wail and wail about asshole administrators, who expected folks to be able to write at a high skool level to get a bachelors degree, were killing their once and future engineering grad students undergrad GPAs with D, D, C in the required rhet classes.

    I know my feathered friend will be shocked, but weejee got by only having to take Rhet 101.

    1. user-of-owls

      Not in the least! I've always known you were (to recycle from yesterday) two standard deviations from the mean. Skew on, you crazy diamond!

  31. superdave

    A Masters degree? That's what? Some lame ass classes and possibly a shitty "thesis". Get a real degree, ya pansy-assed East Coast pseudo-educated elitist. When I was in grad school they handed out masters degrees to every weeny who couldn't hack it and flamed out.

    And these days every school is begging you to pay them gargantuan amounts of tuition for those worthless pieces of paper to tack on your resume. So I hope your massive student loans make you feel better about yourself.

    1. Oblios_Cap

      I'm still paying mine to the tune of $800/mth. But, hey, we have the greatest economic and social systems in the world!

  32. BklynIlluminati

    See the poor guy wasn't armed properly with snark. When he says "I'm pretty sure I have a Master's degree.." You say "What in douchebaggary?" and keep it moving. Union guys never leave home without proper protection, embarrassing them on their own cameras is how you get them off your nuts

  33. Limeylizzie

    That union thug can check the union label on my knickers any time, he looks as if he would be firm and masterful and I do so enjoy that.

    1. ttommyunger

      Limey, you are desperately in need of a good ol' Missouri Horse-Fucking, and there was a time I would have gladly offered it to you. Live long and prosper!

  34. Not_So_Much

    Shoving a camera up his nose means her skirt was too short? I'm really having a hard time keeping up with the kids' lingo these days.

  35. Ducksworthy

    I am not by nature a violence person. But the political manifestations we are now seeing of what tea baggery could mean to the US (i.e. the future Kingdom of Koch) leads me to believe that anything up to and including an ax handle to the head of one of these fools should not be classed as assault.

  36. KevoTron

    So I managed to fandangle a username at Michelle Malkin's site on President's Day. Yes, that is how I celebrate Presidents Day….reading shitty blogs.

    Anyways, this is as good a place as any to start some shit. I recently quit drinking and this might be a good outlet if it doesn't force me to drink Lysol.

  37. fuflans

    i say this with absolutely no sarcasm and a great deal of fury:

    sweetheart, you are no lara logan.

    and i thought it was the left that was guilty of relativisim.

  38. Tundra Grifter

    For some reason Dana Loesch at "Big Journalism" decided it would be a good idea to use a graphic description of the terrible assult on Lara Logan to make a political point about the Wisconsin anti-labor protests.

    I foolishly thought that site couldn't get any lower. Boy, was that a bad bet!

    I think people shouldn't be shy to comment – let Mrs. Loesch know what you think about this.

    Additionally, she showed she doesn't know the difference between a gangbang and gang rape. I hope she never finds it out.

  39. KevoTron

    So I managed to fandangle a username at Michelle Malkin's site on President's Day. Yes, that is how I celebrate Presidents Day….reading shitty blogs.

    1. KevoTron

      Hmmm… thought I typed more….

      Anyways, this seems like an excellent place to start on that blog. I recently quit drinking and if this doesn't drive me to drink the Lysol under my kitchen sink it may just be a good outlet for my frustrations!

  40. democratessuck

    Wheres the love? you socialist are claiming to be so smart and civil.All you do is call people nasty names and wish them the worst. Shameful with no class.

    1. cobweb2

      We don't want to "here" (sic) from liars. "I was not as close as the video implies (it was cropped from a vertical iPhone video so it would fit on youtube)." Union Thugs must have really long arms.

  41. ttommyunger

    My response to this situation would have been the Meyer Lansky response. This formidable Mafia figure, when confronted by aggressive journalists and photographers during a break in one of his many Federal Court appearances, pulled out his dick and said "Here, film this." But then, that's my response to almost any situation.

    1. cobweb2

      "I was not as close as the video implies (it was cropped from a vertical iPhone video so it would fit on youtube)." Union thugs have extra long arms

  42. twaingirl

    I got a master's degree. Never did the reading, turned in work late (if I did it) and managed to get away with a 20 page paper as a thesis. Yep. A MA really does mean something.

    1. cheaphits

      So do I – London School of Economics – paid somebody to attend classes for me while I partied in Amsterdam, the London part was a waste of money…Amsterdam, not so much.

  43. carlgt1

    Repugs desperately trying to be victims. I wish there was a youtube video for every real victim (maiming through death) of Repug policies, whether domestic economic or international warfare…

  44. cobweb2

    The victim rejects the Leftists' explanation of "You invaded his space," with "I was not as close as the video implies (it was cropped from a vertical iPhone video so it would fit on youtube)." So just how long are this union thug's arms?

  45. BarackMyWorld

    Some guy with a "master's degree" argues with an unidentified protester and a cameraphone gets really close to the guy, then it gets dropped for unknown reason = the guy obviously becomes violent and all union people are violent thugs.

    Did I summarize that correctly?

  46. Walkinwiddaking

    I know this mook is suppose to come off as some sorta Nazi thug but with that aqua colored ear warmer, well, more Log Cabin douchebag.

  47. glamourdammerung

    I am guessing from the shrieking by the retards on this, that they also support executing Rand Paul for 4-5 of his cultists attacking a woman.


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