ZUCKERBERG'S LAW  5:46 pm February 23, 2011

Facebook: Sarah Palin ‘Lou Sarah’ Account Violated Our Terms of Service

by Jack Stuef

Poor Lou.We’re now at the end of day two of wondering why a private Facebook account was registered to Sarah Palin’s personal e-mail address, a profile listed under the name “Lou Sarah” that was “friends” with members of Palin’s family and her political appointees, not to mention was used to “like” her own infamous public page. Palin hasn’t given an answer, but when it appeared the profile was in the process of being taken down, she issued a statement saying her public page was her only account. If the “Lou Sarah” account was hers, the statement was technically right at that point; because it was coming down, she did only have one account. So we reached out to Facebook, who sent us back a statement on why the account went down. “The account was found to run afoul of our terms and it was disabled,” wrote Facebook official Andrew Noyes. “Facebook has always been based on a real name culture.” He refused to say whether it was Facebook acting alone or a request by either the Palin team or somebody logged in as “Lou Sarah” that prompted the removal of the profile.

Facebook has always been based on a real name culture. This leads to greater accountability and a safer and more trusted environment for our users. It’s a violation of our policies to use a fake name or operate under a false identity, and we encourage people to report anyone they think is doing this, either through the report links we provide on the site or through the contact forms in our Help Center. We have a dedicated User Operations team that reviews these reports and takes action as necessary. We will consider removing a profile if we determine that it is not authentic and false information is being communicated on it. We also have technical systems in place to flag and block potential fakes based on name and anomalous site activity.

This is a standard Facebook statement, but we had no idea Wonkette is the “technical systems” Facebook uses “to flag and block potential fakes.” They should probably compensate us for that.

Meanwhile, the very mysterious “Lou Sarah” is gone forever. And the world hasn’t heard another peep out of Palin or the loyal collection of taxidermic animals who are her media team.

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 211 comments }

JackObin February 23, 2011 at 5:48 pm

The poor thing looks like she is about to weep. Did someone tell her the whole god thing is an elaborate hoax to hoodwink the dim-witted?

trashbot February 24, 2011 at 2:42 am

No, this video still captures the exact moment when the death-cries of the turkey behind her flit through her spongy brain for a few milliseconds, causing just the slightest perturbation in her otherwise impenetrable shield of smug ignorance. She was fine 1/30th of a second later.

Fare la Volpe February 23, 2011 at 5:49 pm

It's like the hillbilly version of The Manchurian Candidate, except with more incest.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 23, 2011 at 5:54 pm

It's true. Whenever anyone asks about her, I am compelled to say that "Sarah Palin is the meanest, cravenest, coldest, most horrible excuse for a human being I've ever known in my life".

That can only be the result of brainwashing. Or, you know, paying attention at any point in the last three years.

Fare la Volpe February 23, 2011 at 5:58 pm

The trigger is a wink and an "ahh, shucks."

ManchuCandidate February 23, 2011 at 6:02 pm

With Simple Sarah playing both roles of idiot Senator Iselin and the conniving Mrs Iselin.

x111e7thst February 23, 2011 at 6:40 pm

In the case of the Palin clan incest is probably a good thing. Let them stay with their own kind in the shallow end of the gene pool and leave the rest of us alone.

bitchincamaro2 February 23, 2011 at 6:56 pm

I'm hoping someone will soon hack her Incestry.com account. Anybody?

DashboardBuddha February 23, 2011 at 7:05 pm

"What is her family tree…a stump?"

RIP, Bill.

chickensmack February 24, 2011 at 9:32 am

On Saturday, we again mourn his passing… seventeen years hence.

Progressiveinga February 23, 2011 at 11:13 pm

Leave Aunt Grandma Sarah alone!

Steverino247 February 23, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Phone rings. Sarah Palin answers.

"Sarah Palin!"

"Sarah Palin? Why don't you go fuck yourself?"

Sarah reaches for the computer and logs into Facebook as "Lou Sarah."

oxymoran February 23, 2011 at 5:49 pm

The Social Nitwit.

SwattieSwat February 23, 2011 at 5:50 pm

God damn you Zuckerberg you Islamicist! Stop terrorizing Lou Sarah with your Shariah Lawz!

LowProfileinGA February 23, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Blood libel!

LowProfileinGA February 23, 2011 at 8:35 pm

"Blood libel" was edited?
Twits.

horsedreamer_1 February 23, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Turncoat.

Try going on Birthright, now.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 23, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Yes, but did she forcefully violate them? If not, it doesn't really count and they should reinstate her account at once.

DashboardBuddha February 23, 2011 at 5:57 pm

She'd still charge Facebook for the violation kit.

NorthStarSpanx February 24, 2011 at 10:00 am

Win and win.

ManchuCandidate February 23, 2011 at 5:51 pm

Oh Book of Faces. Your data mining and utter disregard of personal privacy irks me to no end, but your douchey corpratese outing of the Upfister Grifter amuses me.

snoopyfan2010 February 23, 2011 at 6:16 pm

I've always wondered what would happen if everyone created fake accounts with "creative" names and deliberately liked everything that popped up on the banners. Would that affect the data in any way???

ifthethunderdontgetya February 23, 2011 at 9:00 pm

This is why I've never signed up for an Effbook account.

Or bought a cellphone.

O.K., I lied, I'm basically the Unabomber's favorite grandson. But I'm one of your followers, Manchu…
~

Crank_Tango February 23, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Lou Libel?

Barbara_i February 23, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Bitch slapped by Zuckerburg! Bah ha ha, Sarah!

ChessieNefercat February 23, 2011 at 6:06 pm

And who wrote the Zuckerburg movie? Why, Aaron Sorkin! More Bwahahahas to you, oh brainless Arctic twatwaffle.

Barbara_i February 23, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Good call, Chessie! I upfist you for your knowledge.
Sarah is going to India for a speaking engagement. This should be a riot! I bet she mentions their casinos.

ChessieNefercat February 23, 2011 at 7:44 pm

And how awful muslins and other strange, brown religions are…

It's just so funny that her political career rides on facebook, and she can't even manage that.

user-of-owls February 23, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Politico is reporting that her next book will be titled If I Did It.

Beowoof February 23, 2011 at 9:10 pm

She better watch out, OJ when he and if he gets out of prison, may show up with a gun and want his cut.

OneDollarJuana February 23, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Well, she has done it. At least four times. Bristol. Piper. Track. Willow.

Beowoof February 23, 2011 at 10:56 pm

I don't know I keep hearing funny stories about who Todd is screwing and where some of those kids came from.

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 4:06 am

FTW

SayItWithWookies February 23, 2011 at 5:57 pm

That's the fastest a Palin's gone down without having a Macy's gift card dangled in front of her ever.

Jason_inthe_Peg February 23, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Oh you're bad. So very very bad. Wicked even.

ManchuCandidate February 23, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Hey that's not fair. Depends on the Palin. Sarah would do it for Nordstrom. Bristol… an In'N Out Double Double.

ChessieNefercat February 23, 2011 at 6:07 pm

"Bristol… an In'N Out Double Double. "
So to speak.

smokefilledroommate February 23, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Bristol… a 2×4, animal style.

BerkeleyBear February 23, 2011 at 9:51 pm

You sure it isn't a 4×4? Those thighs didn't build themselves.

Ah, "animal style" – I still recall the first time I heard of that magic phrase, 20 years ago. I'm hoping my soon to be greater proximity to the Left Coast will make those words a common part of my vocabulary again.

mayor_quimby February 23, 2011 at 11:23 pm

I've done filthy things to warrant a extra layover day in LAX so I could have just one more 2×2 animal style. Totally worth it.
But a 2×4 is just gluttonous.
Buuuurrrppp…

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 4:09 am

THIS is why I come to Wonkette. You guys are fine connoisseurs of win.

DustBowlBlues February 23, 2011 at 6:47 pm

One shudders to imagine what she would do for a gift card at Neiman-Marcus.

xsluggo February 24, 2011 at 9:22 am

That should be “who” she would do. Answer: the Heritage Foundation and then the entire RNC. I believe that happened in mid-2008.

Radiotherapy February 23, 2011 at 7:35 pm

And I was thinking Dollar General.
BTW, do they have gift cards?

GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Yes. Yes they do.

fuflans February 23, 2011 at 5:57 pm

"facebook has always been based on a real name culture"

i can't really parody that.

Fare la Volpe February 23, 2011 at 6:12 pm

What? You think my middle name isn't really "Warrior Princess"?

Tundra Grifter February 23, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Real photos – not so much…

V572625694 February 23, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Well they were real seven years ago!

WordSaladNation February 23, 2011 at 5:57 pm

I'm looking forward to the suit that the Winklevoss twins will bring against Wonkette.

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 4:10 am

The litigious, mutant giants that they are.

Bonzos_Bed_Time February 23, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Turkey says what?

edgydrifter February 23, 2011 at 5:59 pm

"We will consider removing a profile if we determine that it is not authentic and false information is being communicated on it.
Inauthentic? Communicating false information? Sounds like ALL of the Palin clan's FB pages will be coming down shortly. Lucky for them MySpace is owned by dear Uncle Rupert.

Jukesgrrl February 23, 2011 at 8:42 pm

They're against communicating false information? When are they going to start "refudiating" their relationships with their advertisers?

KenLayIsAlive February 24, 2011 at 1:40 am

Exactly. That ad that says I can make $20,000 in a week?

The baby with TWO SETS OF EYES!?!?!

Come on Mark, let us have half the fun you're having.

GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 12:38 pm

If they remove all the accounts that violate that clause, Facebook will collapse in on itself and form a black hole on the Internet.

wokeupliberal February 23, 2011 at 6:00 pm

More blood libel, right? Poor turkeys.

Extemporanus February 23, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Friends don't let friends friend friends.

OneYieldRegular February 23, 2011 at 6:10 pm

I SO want that as a bumper sticker for my non-existent car.

PocketsTheClown February 24, 2011 at 2:02 am

I just so copped a wordy.

mourningnmerica February 23, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Sarah, you're nothing to me now. You're not a sister, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the hotels, I don't want you near my house. When you see Bristol, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?

DoktorZoom February 23, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Sarah L. Palin will you PLEASE GO NOW

FlyOverGirl February 23, 2011 at 7:22 pm

Unfriend!

xsluggo February 24, 2011 at 9:25 am

Unfriendinate.

PublicLuxury February 23, 2011 at 7:36 pm

That's so, ummm, ahhh, Corleone. Are you taking her fishing Morning?

Beowoof February 23, 2011 at 9:14 pm

A fishing trip with Al Neri could be awesome for America.

KenLayIsAlive February 23, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Crap. This is bad news for one Kenneth L. Lay.

JustPixelz February 23, 2011 at 7:08 pm

But good news for Kenneth Layne.

OneYieldRegular February 23, 2011 at 6:06 pm

I'm torn between "Blood Schadenfreude" and dismay at the trouble that poor Egyptian kid named "Facebook" is going to encounter when he reaches age 13 and tries to register an account.

DustBowlBlues February 23, 2011 at 6:49 pm

That strikes me as very, very funny. My weiner/terrier dog hasn't come home from her days journey with the big dogs (who fucking leave her behind all the time) and I needed a laugh.

metamarcisf February 23, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Why does all this bad stuff keep happening to this woman?

ChessieNefercat February 23, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Karma?

OneYieldRegular February 23, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Lou Sarah, Sarah. Whatever will be, will be.

BaldarTFlagass February 23, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Yeah, her travails read like the Book of Job. Poor her, as Livia Soprano would say.

KenLayIsAlive February 24, 2011 at 1:34 am

But she's never met a Job she couldn't quit halfway through.

PocketsTheClown February 24, 2011 at 2:04 am

Jolly good show, sir madame.

FraAnima February 24, 2011 at 8:58 am

Much to Todd's dismay.

user-of-owls February 23, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Because there really is a god?

V572625694 February 23, 2011 at 6:57 pm

No, I checked, and He still doesn't exist. Got to be Karma.

Radiotherapy February 23, 2011 at 7:37 pm

If you would just stop making stuff up!

Come here a minute February 23, 2011 at 8:02 pm

It's all explained in the self help book, When Bad Things Happen to Bad People.

cheaphits February 23, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Perhaps soon it will all just be too much and she will just slip into a fugue state.

Warpde February 24, 2011 at 1:36 am

You really have to ask?
Ohy….

Zvi_Bleindmeis February 23, 2011 at 6:09 pm

"Trust" is the first word I associate with "Zuckerberg."

iburl February 23, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Fuck Facebook. Safer to use your real name? Safer for the corporate scumbags and government spies making money off of us and stealing our privacy. It's not safer for all the people who have been spammed, stalked, tracked and otherwise screwed by using their real name on Facebook. Hitler would have given his left nut to have facebook. I welcome their future booting of my alias.
P.S. S.P. SUX.

Tundra Grifter February 23, 2011 at 7:05 pm

I think it's a matter of record that Hitler didn't have a left nut.

Just sayin'…

iburl February 23, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Yeah, he gave it away for their era's equivalent. "Zukerstein's Encycolpedia of Jews, Gypsies, Homosexuals, Jazzmen and Communists."

Come here a minute February 23, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Whoa — if you don't like it, don't use it. Big whoop. It's not a nefarious plot, it's a web site for kids.

iburl February 23, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Facebook is worth $50 billion. That's over $100 per user. Ever wonder how they can possibly be worth that much money per user on a free website? Could it be auctioning off your identity to the highest bidder?

Radiotherapy February 23, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Which makes me wonder, how much is the Wonkette™ worth? Just a few billion?
Certainly more than $100 per user.

ShaveTheWhales February 23, 2011 at 10:59 pm

How much is that in pee?

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 6:08 pm

In whore diamonds or trucknutz?

sportshort February 23, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Boy, the fact that anyone takes this hatchet faced hillbilly seriously must be indicative of the fear that's racing through everyone's collective consciousness when they think of the imminent breakdown of society–that and the fact they haven't bought enough guns, stocked enough gold, or built a deep enough bomb shelter lardered with spam and government cheese.

fuflans February 24, 2011 at 12:45 am

you can have too much cheese.

doxastic February 23, 2011 at 6:13 pm

It's like Edith Wharton + methamphetamines.

GuanoFaucet February 23, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Now, if only being a lying idiot asshole somehow violated a news coverage policy or term of political service.

dittoBot3000 February 23, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Lou Sarah is very clever. She's like Keyser Soze/ Verbal Kint if he had a concussion. And took expired medication.

smokefilledroommate February 23, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Verbal Caeser?

Beowoof February 23, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Lots of medication, like thorazine etc.

Oldskool_ February 23, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Lou Sarah's first or last name had to be Billie Bob.

Beowoof February 23, 2011 at 9:25 pm

Larrette the Cable Company Receptionist, like Ernestine only much dumber and meaner.

nounverb911 February 23, 2011 at 6:18 pm

Time to retreat retweet.

nounverb911 February 23, 2011 at 6:21 pm

I guess Sarah won't be rooting for "The Social Network" this Sunday.

Snarke_Diem February 23, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Well, Lou Sarah violates MY terms of service by her mere existence. I suffer no fools, and she is The Great American Fool Of All Time.

Pop_Socket February 23, 2011 at 6:33 pm

I hope the crack detective team at Facebook never catches on to my three pseudonymous accounts.

nounverb911 February 23, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Hey, I want to friend you, what are your other accounts?

johnnymeatworth February 23, 2011 at 6:37 pm

"Technically right," the best kind of right there is….

smokefilledroommate February 23, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Really–who the fuck has the surname (and spelling) "Sarah"?

genxr February 23, 2011 at 6:55 pm

rabid wingnuts who had their names legally changed?

Tundra Grifter February 23, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Que Sarah, Sarah?

AutomaticPilot February 23, 2011 at 8:43 pm

It's something I've noticed the kids have been doing lately: using their first and middle names, but not their last names.

EdFlintstone February 23, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Well I expect Greta to get to the bottom of this pronto.

BZ1 February 23, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Garbo?

NorthStarSpanx February 24, 2011 at 10:09 am

And Dr. Laura.

gef05 February 23, 2011 at 6:48 pm

I took her full name – Sarah Louise Palin – rearranged the letters, and spelled out a message for her:

U anal hole piss air

No. I don't know what it means either. But I still kind of like it.

FlyOverGirl February 23, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Kind of like the word salad that spews from her hillbilly, grifter mouth.

Troubledog February 23, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Really.

not that Dewey February 23, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Are we allowed to use fake names on Wonkette?

gef05 February 23, 2011 at 7:04 pm

No.

Signed,
Alan Bartlett Shepard, Jr., Rear Admiral, United States Navy (Ret.)

BZ1 February 23, 2011 at 7:57 pm

from far, far away…

cheaphits February 23, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Gosh, I tried to but there wasn't room for my first name…Violent

not that Dewey February 23, 2011 at 8:34 pm

My name's SmokesTooMuch. Mr. SmokesTooMuch.

AddHomonym February 23, 2011 at 10:45 pm

You'd better cut down a bit then.

not that Dewey February 23, 2011 at 11:13 pm

Actually, it never struck me before.

(AND IT'S ABOUT FUCKIN TIME. I WAS ABOUT TO GO ALL LOU DEWEY AND REPLY TO MY OWN DAMN POST, DAMMIT)

Jukesgrrl February 23, 2011 at 8:52 pm

OK, I admit it. My actual name is Jukes Girl, not Jukesgrrl and I am not the head minister at the Church of Jukes for Je$u$, I am merely their accountant.

not that Dewey February 23, 2011 at 9:22 pm

I thought you preferred the term "Messianic Jukes".

XOhioan February 23, 2011 at 11:14 pm

I'm actually named Raymond Luxury-Yach-t, but it's pronounced 'Throat-Warbler Mangrove'.

not that Dewey February 23, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Jethro Q. Walrustitty (Silly Party)

BaldarTFlagass February 24, 2011 at 7:39 am

I just thought you were a fan of Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes.

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 6:33 pm

There's no such thing as "just" a fan of the Jukes. We all serve in our own ways. I handle the spirituality, financially speaking.

gurukalehuru February 24, 2011 at 1:42 pm

I am not using my own fake name. I am using someone else's fake name.

V572625694 February 23, 2011 at 7:00 pm

"The account was found run afoul of our terms…" Did we mean to say, "found to have run afoul.."? Or did we mean to say "run a fowl," referring to the famous video clip screenshotted in this post? Please elucidate, Facebook.

And boy, it's good to see more people recognizing FB for the so-smooth-you-hardly-feel-it privacy theft racket it actually is.

cheaphits February 23, 2011 at 8:25 pm

And we all know that privacy, like truth spoken Sarah Palin, is a rare commodity and should be not easily surrendered.

Beowoof February 23, 2011 at 9:28 pm

Run a fowl is how they catch dinner in Wasilla.

not that Dewey February 23, 2011 at 9:39 pm

I couldn't believe that "find your old high school friends" would be worth $50B. But I can believe that a clearinghouse of 500 million people's demographics, given away for free, could be worth that much.

V572625694 February 23, 2011 at 9:44 pm

And my old high school friends were all…old.

not that Dewey February 23, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Hence the name.

I have found exactly two (and immediately stopped looking for more); one is a born-again xian, and the other is mildly cool. The three of us had a punkrock band when we were 15, and we no longer have anything in common. What a surprise!

OneDollarJuana February 23, 2011 at 10:06 pm

I looked up an old roomie once. Found him. His partner had just died of AIDS. Since then I don't look anymore.

PocketsTheClown February 24, 2011 at 2:17 am

I have a friend that decided "No. Not a second more of my time," and he was from the great land of Lents/Mall 205. I wrote every word he said, desperately I scribbled his scripture.

"Fuck it" I said. "I'm out of here, too" but I spelled it "out of her" and that was my last post in the universe. I was gone, excommunicated from the facebook, by my own, devilish hand.

Still, it was liberating, to make phone calls. It was freedom to forward emails. It was amazing, again, to tweet, brazenly… from free internet at teh airprot.

V572625694 February 24, 2011 at 8:18 am
GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 12:50 pm

I made the mistake of making an Ancestry.Com account. I filled out some of my ancestors, until one popped up with a "Green Leaf". I clicked on the link and was immediately hit with a "send us your credit card information to see what's behind the leaf" message. I canceled the account and to this day, I get solicitations from them on a daily basis by e-mail.

Tundra Grifter February 23, 2011 at 7:08 pm

To recycle a previous comment, this really is Catfish 2.0.

[If you don't get that joke, rent that movie!]

politics_nerd February 23, 2011 at 7:10 pm

this brings a kind of sad, pathetic veil over the whole palin phenomenon. she so desperately wants to be "liked". sorry (not really!), not going to happen.

berkeleyfarm February 24, 2011 at 1:02 am

If I could go back in my time machine, I'd make her Wasilla HS Homecoming Queen. I think it could have prevented a lot of people a lot of aggravation.

HistoriCat February 24, 2011 at 9:29 am

Kind of a lesser version of "let Hitler become a successful artist"?

GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 12:52 pm

I'd make her the town whore, and hope that at this point she lived in a trailer, with 27 kids, a meth habit, and a raging STD slowly eating away her internal organs.

Nopantsmcgee February 23, 2011 at 7:12 pm

"Lou Sarah". That's so fucking stupid. Who does that? It's like she wanted to be caught. Why not Sarafine Pallin or Para Salin. Stupid redneck.

JustPixelz February 23, 2011 at 7:14 pm

"based on a real name culture"

Boy will Facebook be red-faced when the real Lou Sarah steps into the public eye. Waiting….

NorthStarSpanx February 24, 2011 at 10:15 am

If what Wonkette and the left leaning LSM are reporting about Lou Sarah are accurate, I'd hate her too.

GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I've got a five dollar bill that says at this moment, some Joe The Plumber wannabe is at his local courthouse trying to legally change his name to Lou Sarah.

James Michael Curley February 23, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Does Zuckerberg ever wash that hoodie?

user-of-owls February 23, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Page goes up, page comes down. Who can explain it?

Beowoof February 23, 2011 at 9:29 pm

GOD

OneDollarJuana February 23, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Just like Todd when he visits his masseuse.

user-of-owls February 23, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Or like what Mark Foley sees when he's lying on his back during a 'briefing.'

KenLayIsAlive February 24, 2011 at 1:36 am

hey. oh.

deanbooth February 23, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Whenever I read "Lou Sarah," I can't help but think of Ted Baxter saying "Louuuuuuuuuu, Louuuuuuuuuu."

rocktonsam February 23, 2011 at 7:33 pm

This is a classic political misdirection move.

Someone is pregnit in that family.

PublicLuxury February 23, 2011 at 7:43 pm

I'm so depressed. I'm so distraught. I'm so hopeless, I'm so hapless, I'm so useless. I'm so spineless. I'm so friendless. I'm so anxious. I think I'll run for president or something.

Later,

Sarah 'Lou' Palin

BZ1 February 23, 2011 at 7:56 pm

We are all Lou Sarah!

donner_froh February 23, 2011 at 8:23 pm

"Ran afoul"

Sounds almost nautical–not as bad ran aground but worse than rent asunder.

user-of-owls February 23, 2011 at 8:29 pm

I rented a sunder once. Looked great but got lousy gas mileage.

greenloner February 24, 2011 at 12:18 am

What could possibly be worse than to be rent asunder?

not that Dewey February 24, 2011 at 12:22 am

Rhymes with "Scarab Bailin' "

owhatever February 23, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Every time I think that family cannot get any more stupid, they prove me wrong. There is no bottom. WHHEEEEE…

kissawookiee February 23, 2011 at 8:44 pm

"And the world hasn’t heard another peep out of Palin ." This was all it took? Seriously? That's like nailing Al Capone for tax evasion.

Jukesgrrl February 23, 2011 at 8:46 pm

Yup. And if you tell people this, half of them answer, "I don't have anything to hide."

Radiotherapy February 23, 2011 at 9:10 pm

The same people who have no problem with the Patriot Act, "just to keep us safe."

Beowoof February 23, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Sure because I completely trust the American Government, to quote Carlin:

"By now, everybody's supposed to know that when it comes to survival – staying alive – you know, you have to be… you can't be too picky and choosy about the company you're going to keep. You know? Sometimes you have to cooperate with some kind of unsavory people: people you don't like, people you don't trust, people you don't respect. The kind of people you might not even invite into your own home. So, for that reason, tonight I'm announcing my intention to cooperate with the United States government."

derekpangallo February 23, 2011 at 8:56 pm

A Facebook bug temporarily allowed you to see the administrators of a Fan page back in May. Sarah Palin's page had a whopping 14 admins, but no Lou Sarah: http://goo.gl/gxsCX

shiningmathpath February 23, 2011 at 9:25 pm

I thought the religious right frowned on people "liking" themselves …

Beowoof February 23, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Does this mean she will make subscribe to Facebook?

NorthStarSpanx February 24, 2011 at 10:08 am

When Sarah did a series of guest appearances on SNL to show how she 'got' satire, she did this terrifying "PSA" on what she would do with SNL once she got into the OEOB or the White House. I can't find the skit on YouTube, but it was her all over – cause that is what she would do with Facebook also, too.

Redhead February 23, 2011 at 9:27 pm

I sense a Pulitzer for our Wonkette!

Hell, if the National Enquirer can do it…

JoshuaNorton February 23, 2011 at 9:51 pm

It kind of makes you wonder if she hears circus music playing when she comes up with these ideas.

not that Dewey February 23, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Like this?

Blendergoathead February 23, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Oddly enough, a "Lou Sarah" just popped up in the rant-n-raves section on Wasilla's Craigslist.

KenLayIsAlive February 24, 2011 at 1:50 am

She has to connect with Todd somehow. Though I thought they deleted that section of CL.

elfgoldsackring February 23, 2011 at 10:04 pm

How dare you! Of course Sarahpalin Islike-Soawesome is my real name!

NorthStarSpanx February 23, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Truly, I would think that "fake messages" under Sarah's brand by even badly brain damaged quadriplegics using straw power would be an improvement in finesse, rationality and aplomb of her edicts.

XOhioan February 23, 2011 at 11:19 pm

"Lou Sarah," sounds like a 60s-70s character actor. For example: "Lou Sarah," who played "Fish" on the pilot episode of "Barney Miller."

KenLayIsAlive February 24, 2011 at 1:49 am

Aw. I was just thinking about Barney Miller the other day.

MoeDeLawn February 24, 2011 at 7:57 am

happy 90th birfday Abe Vigoda!

KingAwesomeDawg February 23, 2011 at 11:50 pm

So what! You librels are allways picking on poor Sarah! Typecal! Why does everone be mean to her! WHY! Its not fair! JEALOUS! I have a facebook too
SO WHAT! Everone does!
Stop trying and take hers
away from her! JEALOUSY!

imissopus February 24, 2011 at 12:25 am

Speaking of Sarah, she's reported to be planning a trip to India sometime in March. Which means the Hookworm Conjecture has an excellent chance of going from Wonkette Meme to Fulfilled Prophecy.

Warpde February 24, 2011 at 1:31 am

Not to worry.
Knowing her sense of geography she will end up in Indiana.
Gaud help em.

KenLayIsAlive February 24, 2011 at 1:53 am

Jesus Christ. I have heard of them banning people coming into the country, so can't we ban people from leaving? Not that I don't want her to leave, but, ya know, just for diplomacy's sake.

imissopus February 24, 2011 at 2:02 am

And risk the Indians not wanting to keep her? I'd say it's worth potentially pissing off a billion people to let her go.

user-of-owls February 24, 2011 at 8:46 am

At last! Vindication!!

GOPCrusher February 24, 2011 at 12:57 pm

This is the Ganges River. Good luck comes to those that drink from it.

Warpde February 24, 2011 at 12:52 am

Buh..ulshite..
Nice policia Fcebook.
Sooo, How come I have 3 accounts and various E-manuales and the accounts are still going strong?
Guess it has something to do with the gifts I give away in Farmville.
By the way Lou, where's the frikin cow you promised?

berkeleyfarm February 24, 2011 at 1:00 am

Way to go Wonkette! That's some old-fashioned political stupid you've brought to light. I was fearing that we might have an invasion of the Palinbots (which probably works out to Ivy Frye, the ghostwriter (Jennifer), and various Palins and Heaths on the gravy train payroll) posting stupid whiny comments, they'd probably be happy just to do the drive-by thumbs-down thing. Fits so well with the Junior-High-Mean-Girl mentality and doesn't require typing.

EdFlintstone February 24, 2011 at 7:17 am

Sarah Palin is part of the "plastics", now it's all making sense.

KenLayIsAlive February 24, 2011 at 1:47 am

As long as we're spilling about Facebook. I have the ken lay site (cause I'm a child) and I did set up a Ken Lay account (cause I'm a child), and tho as far as I know there is zero connection at all between me and the site, the first person FuckBox suggested to friend was the actual real human living not-at-all-ken-lay me.

Danger. Will. Robinson.

Jukesgrrl February 24, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Wow, I'm in awe (cause I'm a child).

lulzmonger February 24, 2011 at 3:10 am

Yet another deathblow to free speech from the Zuckerberg Gestapo! This heinous crime against freedumb will not stand! FACEBOOK = FASCISM!

Sincerely,
Monz Lulger, Esq.

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 4:02 am

Three topics on the front page for Lou Sarah, eh?

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 4:14 am

Dear America,

This (Sarah Palin and your pride in her) is why we can't have nice things.

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 7:14 am

You troll-fuckers have messed with the wrong motherfucker. Replenish my pee-ness, or else.

monkshooter February 24, 2011 at 6:55 am

Ironically, they would best punish her by prohibiting the deletion or editing of lil Lou Sarah account.

proudgrampa February 24, 2011 at 6:57 am

The only thing I can compare this to is my 5 year old granddaughter's propensity to have (and play with) imaginary friends. So Sarah is either a lonely person who has to make up friends to like her, or she has the mentality of a 5 year old. Yup, that's presidential material, you stupid teabaggers.

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 7:20 am

Poor little Sarah Lou Who. The Gingrinch has now truly stolen Christmas, huh?

This woman-child is a terror. I hope America workers Sarah out of its system, and sooner rather than later.

e_z February 24, 2011 at 8:39 am

When's the Pulitzer Prize Party?

Poor Sara, poor pitiful parasitical Palin.

Thedongsofwar February 24, 2011 at 9:44 am

"Real name culture", huh? I suspect wizardry!

xsluggo February 24, 2011 at 9:47 am

I guess this also means that Palin will stop using the bathroom stalls in Anchorage tit bars to scrawl anonymous diatribes against her enemies. I’ll definitely miss those.

BTWBFDIMHO February 24, 2011 at 10:05 am

Amurrica By Heart: Reflexions on The Facebooks, The Fakes and The Flagged, by SarahLou.

jus_wonderin February 24, 2011 at 11:07 am

What's a face book?

KingAwesomeDawg February 24, 2011 at 11:11 am

So what! You librels are allways picking on poor Sarah! Typecal! Why does everone be mean to her! WHY! Its not fair! JEALOUS! I have a facebook too

Gopherit February 24, 2011 at 11:23 am

Come on Facebook. Are any of the Palin names real? Kick them all out.

smokefilledroommate February 23, 2011 at 11:33 pm

No–I mean she needs to be pummeled with a piece of wood in a maniacal way.

umm_huh February 24, 2011 at 9:57 am

I have three words for you: animal style fries.

You're welcome.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: