A REAL SLUGGER  3:34 pm February 23, 2011

Liveblogging Koch Employee Scott Walker’s Prank Call Non-Apology

by Jack Stuef

Whoops!Turn on the teevee news! Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is delivering a statement about his long conversation with that guy he thought was David Koch. Interestingly, watchdog group Public Campaign Action Fund is calling for a probe into whether he committed ethics violations in saying what he said to the person he thought was the guy who signs his checks. (All his checks that aren’t signed by the people of Wisconsin, that is.) So is Walker finally going to resign and/or let the workers of Wisconsin have their rights? No, he’s going to endorse Mika Brzezinski’s buttocks and taking a baseball bat to the face of homeless people or whatever, like he did in that prank call. And apologize to his boss David Koch for letting him down. LIVEBLOG!

3:37 PM — “Wiscahhhnnnnnson.” He’s good.
3:38 PM — Scott Walker thinks that’s a microphone. It’s not. It’s a liberal blogger pretending to be a microphone. Ha!
3:38 PM — Walker is talking numbers. Cute. He has to hurt people’s livelihoods because of math. There’s nothing he can do. MATH!
3:39 PM — “Democrat governors.” That Koch training paid off.
3:40 PM — This guy is dragging his feet. Tell us about the crank call! Or tell us why Palin won’t respond to questions about why “Lou Sarah” was registered under her e-mail! Either one!
3:44 PM — This is boring and Wisconsiny so far. We’re going to stare at this for a while.
3:46 PM — Hmm, didn’t mention the prank call. Anybody have any questions?
3:47 PM — “I talk to a lot of people on the phone.” Haha. But he’s making the Kochs feel less special, so they will fire him.
3:48 PM — CNN already cut away. Well, this was one of the lamest liveblogs ever.
3:50 PM — Look, Scott Walker will talk to anybody on the phone. Anybody. Even prank callers. So he’s saying all those protestors milling about should take out their phones and notify his office their refrigerator running? Sounds good. Answering prank calls is more important than governing. Uh, liveblog over? Sorry.
3:51 PM — Inevitable title change to “Non-Apology.”

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Tengu February 23, 2011 at 3:37 pm

… and the CNN video gets Rick Rolled!

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 23, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna let you bargain for cost-of-living increases or maternity leave.

slithytoves February 23, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Sometimes you just want to say that there is a God and you're glad he's fucking around with someone who deserves it for a change.

nounverb911 February 23, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Reminds me of Bush in China

Thedongsofwar February 23, 2011 at 4:39 pm

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're all such jerks!"

SayItWithWookies February 23, 2011 at 4:41 pm

What a sissy — he didn't even say he wanted to die a martyr.

JGambolputty February 23, 2011 at 10:00 pm

You're confusing us with your mixed geopolitical comparisons!

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 3:30 am

For real; what kind of self-respecting dictator doesn't verbally put his life on the line for his own posterity? Pussy.

GuanoFaucet February 23, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Well, that sucked Koch.*

*Commenting on a liveblog after it's over is weird.

kittenbomb February 23, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Scott Walker takes so many calls, for the people! He cannot be expected to differentiate whether they are from voters, or evil overlords or merely voices in his head.

nounverb911 February 23, 2011 at 4:44 pm

”Answering prank calls is more important than governing.”

Moe: Moe's Tavern.
Bart: Is Mr. Freely there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Freely, first initials I. P.
Moe: Hold on, I'll check. Uh, is I. P. Freely here? Hey, everybody! I pee freely! [the customers laugh] Wait a minute… Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half!
Homer: You'll get that punk someday, Moe.
Moe: I don't know. He's tough to catch. He keeps changing his name.

4TheTurnstiles February 23, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Today's brownshirts work deskjobs and talk to a lot of people on the phone.

fuflans February 23, 2011 at 4:47 pm

i'm really glad all this drama is taking place in a place with funny accents.

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 3:32 am

I know, Libya is the best one so far, right?

baconzgood February 23, 2011 at 4:51 pm

I watched the CNN web cam footage too and found it difficult to masterbate to.

SorosBot February 23, 2011 at 4:52 pm

So he barely even commented on the call. However, it's good to know that Walker is available, even to non-constituents like Koch; I mean, I'm sure that your average, working-class Cheesehead could get a twenty-minute phone conversation with the man just like the billionaire who financed his campaign. Right?

Dr_Zoidberg February 23, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Hey….Koch-boy Walker's eyes aren't level! Oooh….that's creepy.

Weenus299 February 23, 2011 at 4:58 pm

My favorite part is where the CNN people sit around and argue the part about if he's testicle sweat or shavings of bronze from the great uncrafted Reagan statue.

No, I'm making it up. I've just been relieved of suspension.

karen February 23, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Is it possible to to charge this guy with ethics violations since he technically wasn't talking to Koch? I mean, I really hope there's some kind of financial or ethics code along the lines of Intent to Commit Douchebaggery.

elviouslyqueer February 23, 2011 at 5:01 pm


sati_demise February 23, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Scott 'Asshole' Walker.

The stupid just shines through those not quite level eyes.
Destruction is the game here.

user-of-owls February 23, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Well, this was one of the lamest liveblogs ever.

Have you already forgotten your ill-fated liveblog of the opening speech at the monthly Toastmasters International meeting?

PublicLuxury February 23, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Typical gawdamned republithug. Never take responsibility. Never apologize. Brazen out the bad press. Scott Walker needs to be in chains.

I hope this fuckin' idiot brings down the entire republican party and the Koch brothers with him.

PublicLuxury February 23, 2011 at 5:06 pm

The Republican Party is Dead.

Now there's a headline that would give me an orgasm.

jim89048 February 23, 2011 at 8:02 pm

That's what we thought in '06 and '08, too.

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 3:35 am

They are like a cockroach…er…Kochroach. At the end of time the GOP will be the only thing that will remain. Oh, and Twinkies. Also. Tambien.

Monsieur_Grumpe February 23, 2011 at 5:17 pm

That picture of Gaddafi makes me think he fell asleep somewhere in Jimmy Buffet Land on redecorating day.

JackObin February 23, 2011 at 5:17 pm

And I thought only dopes entered politics.

GOPCrusher February 23, 2011 at 5:41 pm

It appears that this tape is getting a lot of traction in the media. Scott Walker is not going to be able to just wait this one out. If anything, I would not be a bit surprised to see the protests increase.

glamourdammerung February 23, 2011 at 10:32 pm

But that "liberal media" sure is trying to spin it for Walker.

Soylent Green February 23, 2011 at 5:55 pm

And he's not ashamed! This is the equivalent to accidently exposing your preference of porn onto Facebook! I should know.

valgal2342 February 23, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Walker just didn't want to admit he had phone sex with Koch.

JustPixelz February 23, 2011 at 7:02 pm

The prank is a lot like the O'Keefe pimp video at ACORN or the Planned Parenthood stings. I don't know if this is turning the tables or turning to the dark side. Though I'm sure Ron Christie can explain why Breitbart's antics are justified while the "Koch" call is nefarious.

An_Outhouse February 23, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Yes, they're exactly the same since pimps and whores funded ACORN.

PresBeeblebrox February 23, 2011 at 8:27 pm

I was thinking it was more like the Montreal radio station prank where "Nicolas Sarkozy" called Lou Sarah and specifically mentioned his affinity for Hustler's Naylin Paylin video.

serjjj February 23, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Puh-lease brother, the punk pimp thing, etc, was not even close to the same as this. breitblart and his bitch didn't really have anything on ACORN or PP so they had to edit their shit to make people look bad and then have the Fox propaganda whores sell the mess. As far as we know with the Walker pwn, not one iota had to be edited to make him look like the self-satisfied, corrupt little suckup that he is. I see it more like the teabag rodent willingly walked right in the trap and got his wingnut ass caught but good.

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 3:36 am

Why the hell did you even get 8 thumbs for that one? Honestly, you're always just on the edge of trolling. This place is not for you.

JustPixelz February 24, 2011 at 9:48 am

Your (deleted?) comment:

>So, you think trolling me with down-thumbers is something I'd cotton to? Fuck you, you petty concern troll. You're next.

You're right, I shouldn't have down-thumb'ed some of your other comments. I will go find some to up-thumb.

I think my observation (that lying to elicit embarrassing statements is wrong) is legit. and meets wonkette's ISO9000 snark standards. Others have pointed out how the ACORN vs Walker situations are different. To which I'd add, Walker is a public figure who has actual power, not a third level staffer in a store-front office. His remarks affect more than the person sitting across the desk; and he should know better. Guess I should down-thumb myself.

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 11:23 pm

Oh boy. You really souldn't have admitted that…I feel so bad about what I'm going to have to do, now. You are so going to get it, ho.

blogslut February 23, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Awww, I'm sorry I missed it but I take it I didn't miss much.

"I didn't miss much."

I get the feeling old Scott's heard that statement before.

Snarke_Diem February 23, 2011 at 7:14 pm

As my beloved-but-Republican parents would say:

"NEVER say you're sorry!" and "it's okay if you're a Republican!"

FlownOver February 23, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Scott Walker, Koch whore.

ALIVE! February 23, 2011 at 8:07 pm

I cannot believe I hadn't thought of this before. Awesome, FO.

Beowoof February 23, 2011 at 9:05 pm

What do Laverne and Shirley feel about this, did they have a union, did Scott take it away, did they make enough beer to get the state drunk because this asshole is in charge? Inquiring drunk union members want to know.

BarackMyWorld February 23, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Did MSNBC stick with the conference long enough to find out definitively if Mika Brzezinski is a real piece of ass or not?

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 3:38 am

They don't ask questions they already know the answer to. Well, except Dylan Ratigan, who only asks questions he answers in the question. He has a terrible habit of doing that, more so than most self-important talking heads.

fxgeorges February 23, 2011 at 11:51 pm

Well done,thanks.

Warpde February 24, 2011 at 1:44 am

Oh well.
Guess when you like Kok (sick) you can never get enough.

Negropolis February 24, 2011 at 3:29 am

I said it elsewhere, but while this guy isn't the only one that sucks dick for Koch, he's certainly one of the best/most unapologetic. The prostitutes of Milwaukee don't have shit on this motherfucker.

lulzmonger February 24, 2011 at 4:06 am

Those "Macaca Moments" always have such nasty hangovers.

Sounds like somebody's already lawyered up & isn't too stupid to STFU when the alternative is possible instant unemployment with a side order of subpoena.

Too bad for him the story is so utterly goddamned hilarious.

guangho February 24, 2011 at 8:26 am

Wisconsin you went from Feingold to Walker? Demerit! No beer for you!

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