- Two Libyan air force pilots landed their Libyan death zeppelins (?) in Malta, after refusing orders to slaughter civilians from the air — because sometimes you just have to do the right thing, instead of committing mass murder. In other Libyan defector news: a group of army officers released a statement urging fellow soldiers to “join the people,” and the Libyan ambassador to the United States has called for Gadhafi to resign. And in the absence of any real support from his own armed forces, Gadhafi has assembled an army of African mercenaries, so that the killings can continue. What a monster. [Al Jazeera]
- Walmart is experiencing its worst Chinese Trinket Sales Slump ever! Won’t you please go buy some more Chinese trinkets? Like Thomas Jefferson always said, “What’s good for Walmart is good for America.” [WSJ]
- “Baby dolphins, some barely three feet in length, are washing up along the Mississippi and Alabama coastlines at 10 times the normal rate of stillborn and infant deaths, researchers are finding … Millions of barrels of crude oil containing toxins and carcinogens spewed into the Gulf of Mexico. Oil worked its way into the Mississippi and Chandeleur sounds and other bays and shallow waters where dolphins breed and give birth.” Gulf Coast tuna is safe! [The Sun Herald]
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Maybe Wallmart can make a video game where you shoot baby dolphins from a north African blimp. Suck it Costco.
Oh good God, still born dolphin babies in the Gulf and a low quarter for Walmart… which do I feel worse about? Hmm…let me see…
It's definitely the folks behind the box superstore that sells shitty products and drives family-owned retail out of the entire country. Everyone was hoping those crazy kids would succeed in life.
The mama dolphins were hoping the same thing, I think, so this is still a stalemate of awfulness on which to feel worse about. But at least stillborn baby dolphins won't ruin the dolphin corporation's profit margin. Or will it…?
Yesterday there was an article on Yahoo about the fact that the oil eating microbes didn't do their jobs like the Big Oil Apologists said they did, and the Gulf floor is covered with oil.
There is an inch from what I read, probably because of all of the toxic emulsifiers to tamp that equally toxic shit down, where it belongs, out of sight of those meddling kids and their damn dog.
WalMart will be fine; as soon as folks start getting their tax anticipation refund checks from H&R Block, the high def teevees and junk will start flying off the shelves. Tis the American way.
But which WalMart will win the lottery to have one of their security guards trampled to death?
WalMart just needs a nice corporate tax cut that's all.
They'd also be willing to settle for an exemption from workmans comp and fair labor practices laws. See? They're reasonable!
As a former Hell-Mart associate, let me just say they also want out of the Unemployment Comp laws; just spent two months fighting the bastards before UC decided they were lying scum.
Hillary Clinton likes this.
So do the Kansas City Royals. But, yet, the Sam Walton scions who own the Royals still refuse to spend any money on the team.
If only they had a union to bust.
Repeal the Child Labor laws and create another consumer class!
At least one major tax preparer (and I think it was Block, but not sure) can't offer the anticipation loans. Something about their subsidiary/linked bank being told by the Fed that they had to recalibrate their exposure, and the only feasible way to do so was stop the practice altogether. I notice a lot less mention of those on TV these days.
Maybe this is the missing link in the Wal-Mart slump story?
Wal-Mart wanted to get into the banking industry. Thank God, that idea got shot down in flames like privatizing Social Security.
Amazingly, what most concerns me in these stories are the baby dolphins. They're even better friends to humanity than Libyan zeppelin defectors.
I wouldn't piss on Wal-Mart or their Chinese Trinkets to put them out if they were on fire.
It seems that "Paid Thug" and "Pirate" are the real growth industries in Africa today.
Plus "Ocean and River Shitter-Into."
Scott Walker needs to be the new CEO of Walmart. Then those "associates" making 10 bucks an hour can go to minimum wage, overtime can be eliminated as a law and they will be free to lock their illegal alien cleaning crews in the store. Those Walmart heiresses are hurting dont you know, need some employee wage/benefit rollbacks.
Who runs Tripoli-Town? WHO RUNS TRIPOLI-TOWN?!?
Two Ukrainan
whoresnurses enter, one nurse leaves…Two nurses, one dick-tater?
Aw, him sad. Twitter, broken!
We demand, nurses! We demand, THUNDER-BLOW!
Master-Blaster runs Tripoli-Town!
Those dead baby dolphins should take Congress's example and apologize to BP. They're the REAL victims!
Only if the dead baby dolphins have been taking kick-backs from BP.
Fa… Sad… B… P… wronged … need… tax… cuts… al… so…
“Wal-Mart's shift from its traditional core customer manifested itself in numerous ways. A foray into organic foods didn't catch on with discount shoppers. A push to sell trendy fashions like skinny jeans bombed.”
I think I know the problem.
Link not working on my old beater but I'm guessin' it depicts a human posterior the size of Manitoba?
Hmmmm it used to work. It was a picture of what the youngs like to call a muffin top.
It doesn't load straight from the link, but will if you hit refresh afterwards; weird.
"Muffin top"?!? That things is Lucy's attempt at bread bursting from the oven! (am I dating myself?)
Can you imagine those shoppers in "skinny jeans"? I clicked the link and when I inadvertantly hovered over an ad on the right, a popup shot out and covered the offending part of the picture. It's the only time I was grateful for a popup.
at my age, you are always pleasantly surprised by a popup.
One pair on each foot.
How does the company not know their own customer base? Next they'll try selling more stuff they will never use, like books.
Wal-Mart sells PLENTY of book-like objects, including NASCAR picture books and Beck novels; the picture books are better written.
jesus fucking christ on a runaway midwestern democratic legislator.
you now owe us a spacepac.
Hey, Blackwater/Xe? I think I've found a big money-making opportunity for your "contractors".
Tuna tasters?
I know some BP executives that should be force fed some aborted dolphin fetus although it might already be on their menu.
Mmmm, dolphin veal…
Gadhafi has had a certain entertainment value over the years, the cross-dressing, the Bedu tents in the park, but it's time for him to take his nasty little act on the road…while he can.
There's no way this joker survives this thing in one piece. I'm betting there's a blaze of glory moment in our immediate future.
With any luck it will give Scott Walker some ideas…
So, he's going to get the Ceausescu Treatment?
I do like his little hat, though. Makes him look sorta bohemian.
…because sometimes you just have to do the right thing, instead of committing mass murder.
Funny, I never read about our Air Force pilots having such a concern.
~
What about John McCain? He spent five years in shackles 'cause it broke his heart to bomb the shit out of civilians.
Well, they ARE mostly robots nowadays.
Shite, now WalMart is gonna off-shore their greeters to India….get ready to be greeted by a "Bob Abu Smith" via flatscreen monitor.
PS: Can we just drop Gadhafi 30,000 feet onto downtown Lockerbie, Scotland and balance things out?
If they offshore them to Iran you'll have to begin your comment "Shiite,"
Shiite please!
So not fair to the good folks of Lockerbie. Now, if you let the families of the victims shove him first through a shredder/mulcher and then disperse him as human confetti over his erstwhile capital, you'd have a TV special.
WTF, I saw Elvis in WalMart yesterday.
Don't be cruel.
He was shopping for a hunkahunkanannerpie.
Adult dolphins would be totally unsympathetic. But BABY dolphins, now that's newsworthy, baby!
(but seriously this is The Saddest Thing, except for the horrendous violence in Libya)
Eh, that's just human-on-human violence. I'll start worrying about that stuff when humans are on the endangered species list.
Cynical? Sure, why not?
Awww Waldomort is in trouble. Awwww…
I'd play the world's smallest violin (made in China), but the problem is it busted after a couple of plays and painted with Cadmium paint (and yes, I bought it at Waldomort.)
You bought the Cadmiun Yellow Stradivarius knock-off, too??!!
Yup. Fucking Waldomort.
I hope you've both learned a lesson here.
When they cut their soul into 8452 separate pieces, it didn't leave much soul per location.
Gosh, hard to get happy after all this.
Just keep rereading the story about WalMart losing money; that should cheer you up.
…Gulf Coast tuna is safe! from the gapping maws of just-weaned baby dolphins.
*Kids, say "Thank you, BP"*
Did Malomar Gadaffy hire those Wackenhut mercenaries that Scott Walker had to fire when he lost the union arbitration?
James, People need work. Work is work. When your balls are in a vice you'll play nice. Don't you agree?
Gulf coast Tuna is safe, but the Canned in Water variety is not available and the Canned in Oil variety has dropped in price.
But sweet crude is up, up, up! I think you are mistaken about the tuna in oil. Unless it's leftover pcb-laden transformer oil that didn't get spread in Times Beach, MO.
And twice the mercury as a thermisol preserved inoculation. YUM.
With enough mercury in your system I hear you can take your temperature by sticking your finger up your a**.
If bombing your own people is the final straw for these two pilots, maybe the other military folks can take a step back as well.
Wal-Mart sales low, baby dolphins dying, Libya being mean to its citizens by hiring mercenaries. . . The rapture will be tomorrow precisely at noon. Don't be late. Go to the corner of 5th and Main, in any city, and wait. Don't forget your placard.
…CRAP… no 5th St. here!
Can I just count 5 as I run aimlessly down Main St. crying?
Can't you go to the City Council and have them rename a street? Or try the County Commissioners and have them change your address? No time to waste, move your ass Rooster
My city lacks a 5th and main. Exempt maybe??
We are normally exempt from most everything exciting.
Get your ass to the closest corner and wait. Do NOT forget the placard. Chop, chop.
5th and N. Main or 5th and S. Main? BE SPECIFIC, GODAMMIT, TIME'S A-WASTIN'!
Jeez Tommy take a pill or somethin' will ya? North or South Main will werk jus' the same. We ain't gonna git get ever'body on the same corner. So I am coordinatin' this thing for Jeebus. I'm important here. I'm in charge. Jeebus said so. I might not even let Jeebus pick you up ifn' ya keep yellin'.
Large and IN CHARGE! OK I Get it!
Dang right. You got it right this time, baby. Now, where can we pick you up? North or South Main?
Where are Gaddafi's legions of Ukrainian Amazon warriors? Don't tell me they've betrayed him, too! After the baby dolphins, I just can't take any more bad news today.
Dead baby dolphins washing ashore … Libyan fighter pilots defecting … all signs of the end times my friends.
Again?
I hate it when that happens.
Walmart is also looking to move into the urban core. Silly Walmart is looking at property here in C'Addle's Central District where I live. Which group will they try to reach? Teh blacks, mmm would that be oldes, hip hop, Ethiopians, Eritrean??? The goths (lotsa flavors there), the gheys, the Messicans, the white YPs, or olde white hippies? Not so many of the traditional Cletus and Twylas. Will they include a tat parlor?
Best way to defect/escape from an autocratic dictatorship is to fly to the nearest friendly country in your fighter plane.
So Qaddafi is the Duke of Libya – he's A number 1?
Thanks, BP, for destroying the beaches, the only reason that I live in this god-forsaken republican-infested state (America's Dinghus™).
Per the previous post; "Amen".
Satan laughing spreads his wings!
Ehhh. Just another day at the office.
"Wal-Mart just went and broke it," said mechanic Mike Craig, 41 years old, lamenting that he could no longer find honey, which is now next to the peanut butter instead of near the salad dressings. "I just don't like what they did at all."
That sums things up pretty well for all of USA America. We just went and broke it.
"Wal-Mart just went and broke it" pretty much describes most of America's small towns.
I used to love swimming in the Gulf. It gave me a great sense of well being and tranquility. I could spend half a Saturday there and feel like I'd had a week off. I'd swim only up till about the end of July, then it was just a boiling cauldron, (which matched the weather). I didn't put my toe in it last year and am not considering it this year. And I fucking miss it.
You should come up to my corner of the country and lounge with the baby seals on the beach about a block away from the hotel I run.
The water is a slightly chilly 53° right now, but it gets up to a balmy 56° in the summer!
Don't tempt me. It may be chilly, but it's not overrun with teatards. (Is it?)
Not overrun, but we have our share. However, I think the hippies actually outnumber the Teatards here, and they know this, so the 'tards are relatively well-behaved.
In related news, Tony Sparano sleeps with the fishes.
"Walmart is experiencing its worst Chinese Trinket Sales Slump ever!"…" executives veered away from the winning formula of late founder Sam Walton to provide "every day low prices" to the American working class." (Working class?)
See what happens when you listen to an Obamer! Theyz ruinin' everthin'…
Fuck Hope and Change… Refudiator 2012!!
There are excellent buys this week on shelf stable baby dolphin sushi, in the seafood department. From your friends at Walmart
This WalMart thing may be the first sign of a Koch Equilibrium. The rubes that Charlie & Dave get all het up about That Kneegrow are the actual victims of the War on the Working Class, leaving them no more money to spend on Koch Home&Garden Poison™ at WalMart. Hell, they can hardly afford megadoses of high-fructose corn syrup and Double Anus Burgers!
Reuter's Headline: Defiant Gaddafi vows to die as martyr
You go for it, buddy, just be sure to make a youtube video of it. kthxbai
In Malta, catch a swallow,
For all of the guilty–to set them free.
Wings fill the window,
And they beat and bleed.
They hold the sky on the other side
Of borderlines.
Meet them over at Dover.
I'll just pilot the motor,
Take them over the water,
Like a swallow flying to Malta.
With a hired plane,
And no names mentioned.
Tonight's the night of the flight.
Before you know,
I'll be over the water
Like a swallow.
KATE IS GOD. SHE REALLY IS.
Wait wait wait. I was assured that the world's largest accidental oil had simply disappeared through a combination of a few poor people with shovels, a couple of sweet yacht thoughts from Tony Hayward, and, of course, teh Magickz.
Anyway, I'm off to Long John Silvers for some shrimp.
Did you guys see Qaddafi's TV appearance, sitting in some shit car holding an umbrella? It looked like a day outside the courthouse at one of Michael Jackson's kiddie-diddling trials. I was expecting him to do a little soft-shoe run-through of "Human Nature" or "Man In The Mirror" with an army of platinum-blonde Ukrainian lead guitarettes shredding behind him.
http://gawker.com/#!5766663/qaddafis-bizarre-vide…
Dictators should have to do a paper on "Downfall" at Dictator University, so they know how to go out in style.
Fuck a bunch of Walmart and Chinese trinkets.
It would be so cool to blow off a dictator and run off in a jet. Now there's a joyride for ya!
Lost all snark for the rest of the day/week/year/life after reading about the baby dolphins.
Wouldn't it be even cooler to turn around for a minute and shoot a fucking missile right at his house first? Those guys coulda spent a couple of minutes doing the people's business before heading out.
Memo to future asylum seekers:
Your request will be received much more favorably if you arrive in a heavily armed means of transport. Especially if you refuse to come out until they accede.
So, which female mercenary bodyguard is going to slip a blade between Quadaffi's third and fourth rib? Waiting…..waiting…..
Dead baby dolphins? Can we offer the Libyan pilots asylum in America if they agree to bomb Tony Hayward's yacht?
Isn't that Captain Ron, aka Snake, escaping from Lybia?
Amazing, considering that he has virtually no depth perception!
"Wal-Mart's shift from its traditional core customer manifested itself in numerous ways. A foray into organic foods didn't catch on with discount shoppers. A push to sell trendy fashions like skinny jeans bombed. And an attempt to cut clutter in stores to attract higher-income customers wound up undermining Wal-Mart's appeal to its traditional audience."
Hahaha silly Wal-mart, why would you think you could ever appeal to hipsters.
I'm stuck at the corner of “Walk” and “Don't Walk”, go on without me, I'll catch up.
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