yiff yiff re-elect

Allegedly Insane Rep. David Wu Also Appears To Be a Furry

Bouncy bouncy drunk-dad fun.Congressman David Wu of Oregon did some interesting things right before his re-election in last year’s midterm elections. He allegedly wandered around Oregon like an insane person, for one. Also, it appears he sent his staff e-mails like an insane person, along with photos of him dressing up like some kind of tiger furry. Wow! That’s one sex crime from the Wonkette Trifecta! (He was charged with a sexual assault, but that was in college.) Wu’s campaign is said to have “essentially shut down” when staff and his psychiatrist staged an intervention and he refused to seek help, so most of his team resigned. Oh, and as for the furry costume? His spokesman called it “a moment with his kids,” but his spokesman didn’t comment on the e-mails to congressional staffers it accompanied, which seem to have been written by a drunk Wu in the guise of his children. Someone’s in the running for a “World’s Best, Sanest Dad” mug!

Whether the photo depicted a staged or real event is uncertain. Someone who appears to be Wu is in the full-body tiger costume. He is face-down on a made bed with his arms at his side, as if asleep or passed out.

A wallet and headphones are strewn next to him on the bed. Behind him, a child who appears to be Wu’s 13-year-old son stands beside the bed dressed in a T-shirt and khaki pants with his hands on Wu’s shoulders. It is not evident whether the boy is trying to wake his father, give him a back rub or play along with a joke.

Six minutes later, at 1:38 am, a fourth email arrived in staffers’ inboxes. The content related to Wu’s drinking. The subject line contained one word: “wasted.”

The email, with Wu’s son’s name at the end, said: “My Dad said you said he was wasted Wednesday night after just three sips of wine. It’s just that he hasn’t had a drink since July 1. Cut him some slack, man. What he does when he’s wasted is send emails, not harass people he works with. He works SO hard for you … Cut the dude some slack, man. Just kidding.”

The account of all of this, uncovered by the Willamette Week, is really pretty awesome if you forget for a second that this is some kids’ dad.

Here’s a description of Wu’s walkabout:

For some staffers, the beginning of the end was Wednesday, Oct. 27, when Wu delivered a belligerent and rambling 19-minute monologue to Washington County Democrats that some in the audience said was inappropriate for the friendly crowd. His behavior left staff members aghast.

That Thursday, on a downtown Portland sidewalk in front of Central Drugs, several staff members pleaded with him to get into their car for a private intervention. Wu refused and took off on foot. His campaign staff could only watch helplessly, afraid what their candidate might say or do.

Thankfully, this happened in Portland, so even if he was, say, urinating on a dog, it probably fit right in and even won him votes.

In 2007, he took to the House floor to deliver a speech about Vulcans. He seemed to think Star Trek is real?

In conclusion, here is a photo of Wu in his office. There’s a whole Facebook photo gallery of him walking around town with these earphones around his neck for no reason.

Profiles in Dad

Here he is photobombing Kathleen Sebelius at an event where he reportedly pestered her to call his children on his phone:


And here he is posing with a bird furry. CASE CLOSED. (Allegedly.)

Wear protection! You don't want to get that avian flu.

[Oregonian/Willamette Week via Gawker/Facebook]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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  1. OC_Surf_Serf

    Willamette Week: Wasted Wu wanders Westcoast…Wonkette wowed while welcoming wild wanderlust whipped with weirdness.

  2. PublicLuxury

    Last year was the Year of the Tiger. He is just fine by Washington Standards. By Oregon Standards?… he migt be on the cusp.

  3. donner_froh

    "Wu’s increasingly odd behavior and communication typified by this set of emails so troubled staff that sources say the employees deliberately hid him from public view during the last three days of Wu’s campaign"

    That is a hell of a Congressional campaign office. It must have been really tough trying to hide a guy in a tiger suit who likes to walk around talking with strangers about god knows what.

  4. SudsMcKenzie

    "staff and his psychiatrist staged an intervention", can we get a little more of this for candidates.

  5. Barbara_i

    Couldn't you just see him in his tiger suit, unzipping his fly and telling people, "ya know, in some places this is considered an aphrodisiac?" No thanks, I am waiting on some rhino horn.

  6. XOhioan

    Klingons. He gave a speech about the Bush Whitehouse being full of "faux Klingons." On a likert scale rating of psychosis, a Klingon reference is a "10," while a Vulcan reference is only an "8."

  7. Oblios_Cap

    It's obviously a case of advanced anus burger poisoning.

    Though, for a guy named after a major dialect of Chinese, he makes a fairly passable Tigger.

    1. SorosBot

      Or because he's batshit crazy because of his drinking combined with his constantly getting stoned? (He's from Portland, so constant use of pot should be a given).

  8. DangerHelvetica

    "We dress him up as a tiger."
    "Sexy tiger or rubbish tiger?"
    "My apprentice is to be dressed up as a rubbish tiger and brought here."

  9. waitforsugar

    Not terribly impressed – I used to live in Portland. I have a feeling that Wu might be some sort of performance art piece.

  10. bumfug

    So his campaign staff knew he was not only a drunk but also crazy as a crackhouse whore and their response was to hide him from the public for the last days of the campaign? Never occurred to them that electing an insane alky might not be the best thing for the people he represents? Couldn't be bothered to go to Willamette Week BEFORE he was elected and drop a dime on him? So what happened since the election to change their minds, did he bounce a check to them?

  11. BerkeleyBear

    I'm moving from Springfield, Illinois where Aaron Schock and Jim Shimkus hold office to Portland. I gotta say, Wu sounds like a hell of a upgrade. Or at least a lot more fun at campaign events.

  12. undeterredbyreality

    Good thing you said "allegedly insane," because in Oregon, this behavior is certainly no proof of insanity.

  13. littlebigdaddy

    I'm glad to see Wonkette being evenhanded. I was afraid for awhile that only the R's knew how to bring the crazy. Our furry little Chinaman may be able to give Bachman a run for her money (not Beck, though, I'm afraid)!

  14. Fare la Volpe

    You know what, the guy might be unhinged, but until he starts encouraging his supporters to flaunt their handguns in public, he's saner than 90% of the Republican Party.

  15. lulzmonger

    He's just doing what a freak's gotta do … becoming a Wu Fu Master!
    Wu Fu allows a truly enlightened sensei to yiff with beings from other dimensions.

  16. GodShammgod

    The stunning thing is not that a Congressman did all this but that said congressman is not a Republican.

  17. varropdx

    The last picture probably was *not* at a furry con – it probably was at a Lincoln High School football game – their mascot is the Cardinals.

    Most of Wu's district is suburban Portland – especially the high-tech suburbs of Beaverton and Hillsboro. Furries and gamers are not looked down upon there except as people wasting time that could be spent chugging energy drinks/Mountain Dew and coding.

    Wu hasn't done much in Congress (perennial backbencher), but 1.) He's not a Republican; 2.) He supports Taiwan and is one of the few Congresspeople to call out China for its misdeeds; 3.) He's not a Republican.

    And Boehner outdoes him in the "lazy, mentally unhinged drunk" category – and no one gets on Glenn Beck for having crying jags on tv….

  18. bravo_sierra

    To be completely fair, that last furry he's posing with is a Cardinal. Probably a Lincoln High School Cardinal which is in his district. But yes, he's clearly off his rocker and not in an endearing Earl Blumenauer sort of way.

  19. zhubajie

    I've heard rumors that Red Star erguotojiu, the favorite rotgut of Bejing (55% alcohol) was faddish in DC; maybe he's the reason why.

  20. Negropolis

    Keep Portland Weird and Wired!

    If only Dubya's friends and family had done an intervention on him while he was thinking of running for president…

  21. pallas_athena2

    First of all, there's nothing wrong or unprofessional about an adult dressing up in a costume on Halloween and it can't be used as a sign of madness; especially if one has children or is going to an adult costume party!

    Second, everyone in an animal costume is not a "furry." My school's two tiger mascots would like you to understand this. Nor is it sign of madness.

    Third, posing next to a sports team's mascot who happens to be an animal is also not evidence that someone is a furry nor insane. Even posting such a photo, or using it in a campaign is not a sign of madness or furry membership.

    Fourth, tying these things together to claim he's a furry (or is it furry lover?) makes you look quite silly. Really.

    I'm also pretty sure he's not the first elected official to get "wasted" and do and say things he later regretted. If that in itself makes one unqualified for office, Congress would be a lonely place.

    Finally, how can you expect to be taken seriously if you don't even understand the pop culture references? As someone else pointed out, it was Klingons, not Vulcans, that he called some in the Bush White House. You know, Klingons, bad guys, Vulcans logical and unemotional, but good guys. The show's been around since the 1960's! Also, the fact that he called them "faux Klingons" makes it clear that he wasn't confusing real life with Star Trek. He was using a pop culture reference, which might actually increase his standing with his constituents for all you know. He's a nerd and a Trekkie. Some people think that's enough evidence of madness, but if it is, we're all surrounded by crazy people, most of them pretty intelligent and accomplished. The dude may be crazy, but you haven't provided any valid evidence that he is.

    He also appears to be way below the median age for people in Congress; maybe that's why y'all don't get the pop culture reference. Apparently you have to be an old white dude with no sense of humor to be in Congress. Let's see now, who were the bad guys in Flash Gordon? Hold on ….. Ah, yes. It was the Emperor Ming, The Merciless, of the planet Mongo. (I'm not making this up, check Wikipedia for yourself.) As you might expect, based on the name, Ming looked like a stereotypical "Oriental" of that era, and Flash was a red-blooded, blond, blue eyed, polo-playing, Yalie. (Hmmm. Perhaps that would have been a more apt reference for Bush and his cronies.)

  22. KenLayIsAlive

    God. What a gross, dirty, thin, itchy looking and cheaply made tiger suit.

    Look Congressman, if you want to approach me with your fetish, at least spend some money on it. It's like a girl telling you she's into using toys and you show up with a dirty chewed up dog bone or toothbrush holder from the dollar store. Just nasty.

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