the master crazy at work

Glenn Beck: Wisconsin Unions Want a UN Caliphate, Or Something


OMG, you guys, Glenn Beck loves the nation-state so much. It is his favorite kind of world order. But according to his latest airtight theory, the United Nations, Wisconsin protestors, and Muslim Brotherhood are all in communication with each other about overthrowing the nature of international governance by making a single, Marxist, Islamist world government that respects human rights and freedom according to the resolutions of the UN. That may seem contradictory, but Glenn Beck is always right, so let’s listen to him. World politics sure does make for strange bedfellows, after all. In the minds of crazy people. Somebody’s going to be holding the Treaties of Westphalia close tonight!

It’s so funny how unions have had political power in this country for years and only now want a world communist government!

Oh, and it sounds like Fox News has yet another location for Egypt!

“And apparently help from Google as well—at least in Europe, or I mean, I’m sorry, in Egypt.”

Yeah, Iraq, New York, Europe—same thing. [TPM via chascates]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • LiveToServeYa

    And tin-foil hats keep the falafel vendors from controlling your thoughts.

    • Crank_Tango

      i don't think anything could keep me from wanting a delicious, delicious falafel right now. I mean loofa. whatever.

    • themcwow

      falafel sandwich, wrapped in foil, sounds good close to lunchtime

      • elviouslyqueer

        Coincidentally, I just finished off a lovely falafel sandwich. And when, inevitably, said sandwich gets extruded from my lower intestine, I shall think of Glenn Beck and smile.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Schwarma! Schwarma!

    • Redhead

      I agree that Beck's doing something with tin foil, but I think it has a little less to do with wearing hats and a little more to do with something that rhymes with hoking hrack.

  • mereoblivion

    He could while away the hours
    Conferrin' with the flowers
    Consultin' with the rain
    And his head he'd be scratchin'
    While his thoughts were busy hatchin' . . .

  • nounverb911

    Glenn, I think your magic underwear is on too tight, it's cutting the blood flow to your brain.

    • trondant

      So his underwear is wrapped around his neck, or he uses his asshole for a brain?

      Probably both, come to think of it.

    • Jukesgrrl

      That's the way they make it.

  • freakishlywrong

    This awful, pink goblin sounds crazier than any ranter I ever heard on the double R in New York.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Remember back in The Day if you heard a person talking to her or himself you just figured that, unfortunately, it was another nutcase?

      Now you have to first look at the ears for a Bluetooth headset…

      • jim89048

        As a kid growing up in San Francisco, there was this one black crackpot down on Market St. that was always talking to god on a rotary phone. Long before Bluetooths (Blueteeth?) or cellphones, so we knew he was the real deal.

        • Negropolis

          A black crackpot, eh? How relevant. lol

          • jim89048

            Nah, it's that there was only one, among a sea of white crackpots.

      • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

        They can still be nutcases, in fact they don't even need to be talking anymore, I can just spot them with the headset and avoid them altogether.

    • x111e7thst

      That awful pink goblin would not last long on the RR. Not even on today's polite, well-mannered variant.

  • GOPCrusher

    Protesting. It's not just for Teabaggers.

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Actually, according to Glenn Beck, it is.

  • baconzgood

    Only three to choose from? Which wacky right wing conspiracy is right for me?

    • HistoriCat

      All of them.

  • SorosBot

    Well the protests in the Middle East and Middle West are both directed against corrupt corporate cronies, but there's not many other similarities.

    • jim89048

      It makes a difference, come prayer time.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Like the Muslin Brotherhood even knows Wisconsin exists.

    • Weenus299

      I'm sure they've seen Happy Days and That 70s Show reruns on Al-Whatsatta or whatever tee vee channel those people get over there in Egypt or France or Iraq.

      • Natl_Indecency_Cmdr

        I think it's Al-Whatsamatta-U tv.

    • mourningnmerica

      They do, actually. The Muslin Brotherhood is a garment workers union in Norf Carolina.

  • PsycWench

    I repeat my resolution from yesterday: I am not clicking on that link and ruining my mood by listening to whatever that guy's name is.

    • GOPCrusher

      I did and my IQ dropped 50 points.

      • Boredw/Gravity

        That's okay, according to your avatar you have the pecs to make up for it.

    • SorosBot

      Beck and Palin both get that treatment from me.

    • Natl_Indecency_Cmdr

      rock on sister woman! bad man! very bad man!

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      I will continue to take Wonkette's word for it that he is a crazy fucker. The fifty word summary that Jack posted with the videos is plenty.

    • Polythene Pam

      Yay for youtube blocking at work! Maybe I'll forget about it before I get home

  • chascates

    It all makes so much sense now! Unions = Islamists!

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Egypt = Europe!

      • horsedreamer_1

        Walker = Chuck Norris!

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Everything that's not a crazy right wing conspiracy = New World Order.

      • GOPCrusher

        And wasn't it George H.W. Bush that first said that America was part of the New World Order? And didn't Barry just give G.H.W. Bush a Medal of Freedom?
        Coincidence?

    • DustBowlBlues

      Perhaps this claim will finally get the working class union members off Faux News constant news feed. On second thought, probably not. Stoopid stays retarded.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Problem is, most of the unions have been run out of business already, so union membership among FOX viewers is probably already pretty low. :(

    • lulzmonger

      Solidarity for Allah!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I'm not a mental health professional; but seriously guys, doesn't someone reach a point in their psychosis where everyone just identifies them as the "crazy guy" and then starts to avoid making eye contact with them?! It is pretty bad when I think the homeless guy that wreaks of feces and urine @ the local gas station makes more sense than you?!

    • genxr

      Hey that homeless guy may be yelling at a mailbox, but he makes some good points!

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …I agree, USPS pisses me off too!!!

        • Dashboard_Jesus

          no don't go postal on us my brotha, those USPS workers are fine union members, and they DO deliver the mail, which is really all we ask of them

    • HistoriCat

      Homeless guy yelling is crazy. Guy on TV yelling is entertainment.

      The difference is in the money.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …ironically, the homeless guy is more entertaining.

        • DustBowlBlues

          And coherent.

    • DustBowlBlues

      The guy across the street from the Bon Marche in Seattle who used to beat his umbrella on the No. 5 bus and scream his complaints had far more reason to be angry that this nut case.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …Seattle and their "ELITIST" hobos! Here in Miami, our bums cant afford umbrellas!

    • http://www.marinmaven.com marinmaven

      My goodness, when you see Beck with O'Reilly, O'Reilly looks at him kinda strange. When O'Reilly, a guy who has said some crazy stuff in the past, looks at you like you are crazy then you are off-the-charts crazy. I have always thought Beck was crazy, but random people who I know are only now starting to notice his crazy. So I guess he is taking his crazy to a whole new level.

  • Barbara_i

    I'm waiting for Beck to start his rant, criticizing Barack Obama for not doing enough to prevent World War I.

  • Sue4466

    Since being on Glenn's board puts things together, can he please post a picture of me, my house, and a million dollars on his magic chalkboard?

  • fuflans

    egypt is just a rootless gallivanting floozy.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That bitch will just up and lay down on top of any given country!

    • ChessieNefercat

      Boy, that just rolls right off the tongue; "rootless, gallivanting floozy." Catchy. Thumbs up.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Glenn got confuzzed, both start with an E, like the sound that I make whenever I see him. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (followed by beating head against the wall, desk, whatever)

  • Weenus299

    I can't look at Glenn Beck without thinking of the word "stoning."

    • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

      Is punchable a word?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Dibs on the throat.

  • nounverb911

    Has Glenn been snorting his chalk again?

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Hey Glenn, here's a tip: pressing your chin down over your neck like that when you think you're being smug and sarcastic distracts us from what you're saying because of the fat getting squeezed out the sides.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      But, wait, I thought the whole point of what he's saying was "Look at the fatneck loony and his fat neck."
      I kinda thought he was doing pretty good at it..

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …reminds you of a uncircumcised d%ck doesnt it?!

  • freakishlywrong

    Remember that poor reporter lady who they thought had a stroke because she just started babbling gibberish? SHE makes more sense than this fuckclown.
    http://www.popcrunch.com/cbs-reporter-serene-bran

  • Ducksworthy

    I hereby declare the this so called Glans Beck does not exist in my universe and I will no longer recognize any reference to this fictitious emanation of evil.

  • http://littlewanking.blogspot.com/ harry_palmer

    It's not quite as rational or coherent as actually flinging poo.

  • sportshort

    It must be nice, makin' shit up, believin' it, bein' crazy, gettin' all angry, pokin' those wasp nests, runnin' like a muffhugger from the actual facts of everything. Just generally keeping it wacky, and all 'at. Must be like living in heaven with Jeebus.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Has anyone noticed that the more his ratings slip and his sponsors withdraw from his show the crazier he gets? Then the cycle repeats itself. At the rate he's is going, Beck may be reduced to selling fake gold (Lincoln mint!) and trucknutz.

  • Crank_Tango

    You know who else ranted and raved about trade unions and communists…

    • Radiotherapy

      Joe the Plumber?

    • SorosBot

      Joe McCarthy and Richard Nixon?

      • DustBowlBlues

        Many good guesses on this one, but I'm going with you as the winner.

    • FNMA

      Ronald Reagan?

    • baconzgood

      Wonkbot?

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Victoria Jackson?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      All of the above? (NOT good company.)

    • Gleem_McShineys

      Glenn Beck's malfunctioning pre-surgery b-hole?

    • GOPCrusher

      Karl Marx?

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Emily Latella?

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Jesus?

    • Negropolis

      Elizabeth Hasslebeck (sp)?

    • lulzmonger

      Kitler?

      • Negropolis

        What's that? Like, a kitten Hitler?

  • MLite

    (Political) Death to Tyrants! I mean, maybe the sign wasn't in the best case, but interesting how Beck didn't read the whole thing…

    • SheriffRoscoe

      Agreed. But Glenn had his point to make, and reading the entire sign wasn't going to prevent him from doing so. It's kind of the same thing fundamentalists do with scripture.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      I caught that too. I would bet my next unemployment check that there were more than a few "Death to Tyrants" signs at the HCR protests without that qualifying "Political" at the front.

      • GOPCrusher

        Those people were just enjoying their Second Amendment Rights.
        WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?

  • OurHoboSenator

    I'm a union goon, but I don't know anything about this one-world half-breed Muslin gummint. All I want is for Panera to bring back the Salmon Club sandwich.

    • genxr

      Salmon sandwich? The reddest fish of all? Just more proof that the unions are literally shoving communism down our throats.

      • DustBowlBlues

        Not to mention mercury.

    • ChessieNefercat

      I work in an office at a sissy-pants elitist university, make a big fat 19K/yr take home pay, and could not beat up my cat, even with my useless MS diploma, but according to all the fox noise types and knuckle-dragging commenters on various news sites, I am a "thug." Because I belong to a union. And you know what? I'm a little tired of being considered some sort of lazy parasite. On Wisconsin!

  • DangerHelvetica

    I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Where's my spaceship?

    • hagajim

      I agree…It's a sad state of affairs….Unions in this country have been demonized by the right for years, and gutted by various right-to-work laws around the country so now, finally the right is looking to completely destroy the unions in order to better serve their corporate overlords…and "We the Sheeple" just keep buying into their B.S.

    • SorosBot

      Convert to Glenn Beck's religion; then you get to have your own planet after you die.

      • bflrtsplk

        Plus, as an added bonus, you get your own universe while your still alive.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      The folks at Livermore loaded it with drugs and took off.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      yeah, and we wuz PROMISED jet packs too! also

  • Buckminster

    Hope he chokes on a falafel.

  • Flat_Earther

    Everybody needs to run into the street right now and scream:

    "We're as mad as hell, and we're not going to take this anymore."

  • GuanoFaucet

    Holy fuck is he batshit crazy.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Jeez. I want a New World Order like any other good little Socialist, but none of those three choices is very appealing.

    Damn those NGOs and their buckets of ca$h!

  • Flat_Earther

    Glenn Beck is bat shit fucking crazy.

    • DustBowlBlues

      We need a new term for crazy, just to fit this guy's psychosis. I keep waiting for him to do his show in a strait jacket with George Soros' name on it. Then Beck will use his teeth to hold the chalk and show how Soros and the evil NGOs (fuck Doctors Without Borders and CARE) are trying to silence him. Or he'll do his show with Soros-stamped duct tape over his mouth and use his chalk board to do his talking for him.

      Wait–I assume he's done that already.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Clearly. The only question is how many more Jered Loughners he's going to spawn.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Actually, the Muslim Brotherhood is starting to sound pretty good right now.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …the U.N., Muslim Brotherhood and Unions?! Are you fukkin serious?! Wal-Mart has more muscle than all those combined!!! Not that I have an issue with "Roll back" pricing or anything!

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I'm beginning to question his love for America since he hasn't cried on-air in awhile. What's up with that?

    • baconzgood

      I miss his barking.

    • bumfug

      He sold that bit to Boehner.

    • glamourdammerung

      Maybe his endorsement deal with Vick's fell through.

  • Jerri

    This explains so much about all of my public school teachers. Teaching me math in Arabic numerals? Those muslin-sleeper-cell-connected bastards were just biding their time!

    • lulzmonger

      If they brainwashed you with Al-Gebra, you may already be a mullah!

  • Flat_Earther

    I always thought the Jews were going to be in charge of the New World Order. How did the Muslims get in there?

    • SorosBot

      Jews and Muslims are well known to work together to secretly take over the world, according to Glenn Beck's anachronistic chalkboards.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Not surprising, since they're the same fucking religions!

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Obviously, since they both avoid pork and certain shellfish.

    • DustBowlBlues

      And where is the Queen of England?

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        And Colonel Sanders!

  • BlueStateLibel

    So now we're reduced to calling people who don't want to work for substitence wages Muslim terrorists…I knew this day would come.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    Anyone else notice that he took the laurel leaf (a symbol of peace, actually) which frames the UN emblem and applied to both of the other emblems?

    Sorta like drawing a Hitler stache on Obama…

    But in reverse, of course, because Glenn Beck does everything ass-backward.

    • SorosBot

      Does that mean dimes are a tool of the conspiracy?

  • freakishlywrong

    Anyone else ever read the Jersey Shore recaps at Gawker? They're fucking hi-larious, and THEY are more cohesive than this fuckwit.

  • Radiotherapy

    Their come back on this lunacy will be: And the Koch Brothers, Thomas & Scalia, Esq®, and Teabaggers, How are they connected?

  • MinAgain

    Oh, Glenn. You so crazy.

  • gef05

    "about overthrowing the nature of international governance by making a single, Marxist, Islamist world government that respects human rights and freedom according to the resolutions of the UN"

    If it comes to this versus President Sarah Palin, I'll go with this.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Sounds great to me. When does the bad part come into the equation?

    • glamourdammerung

      There would be fewer contradictions than a Sarah Palin regime.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Fear the Badger Brotherhood!

    • SmutBoffin

      If you want to be a Badger (JIHADI),
      Just come along with me,
      By the bright shining light,
      By the light of the moon;
      If you want to be a Badger (JIHADI),
      Just come along with me,
      By the bright shining light of the moon.

  • owhatever

    So Mohammed, Jimmy Hoffa and the Secretary-General all go into a bar …

    • horsedreamer_1

      Unfortunately, Trey Parker & Matt Stone were tending bar….

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "… and say to the bartender, "Because alcohol is haram,"

      "…We're gonna unionize this joint…"

      "…then take away your seat on the Security Council."

      (pause)

      "Just messing with ya; pitcher of IPA, please. And a lemonade for Beardy McTurban over here."

  • baconzgood

    Save us Glenn with your Miracle Geese.

  • MinAgain

    Now that I think about it, the only things missing in Glenn's world view are a couple of brave hobbits, a golden ring, and a volcano in Mordor.

  • Natl_Indecency_Cmdr

    No, no, no. He misheard us. What we want here in Madison, Wisconsin is a *cheese plate*, not a caliphate. He's a terrible waiter.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Classic Republican style – you and your rubber-stamping wingnut zombies in the legislature pass tax cuts that will drive your state to the very crisis you want to use to break the unions in a bare-ass naked power grab.

    Since Barry got elected, Republicans have been throwing the most sustained hissy fit in American political history.

    • http://intensedebate.com/moderate/139022 GeoatBeck

      The Republicans were complicit. You have to think in terms of progressiveness.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    U.N. celibate? Seems pretty harsh.

  • Natl_Indecency_Cmdr

    "fuckclown" "fuckwit". God I love you Wonketeers.

    • DustBowlBlues

      I think wonkeratti sounds classier, as befits this august group of political pundits.

      • lulzmonger

        Wonkigentsia is also acceptible, although not used.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Does anyone remember, just two years ago, before we had a Black President, when FOX News would be celebrating the spread of Democracy throughout the Arab world as a sign that Bush was right?

    • Oblios_Cap

      In this case, one man's freedom fighter is an American's terrorist. Freedumb only works when they want what we want them to want, silly.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Elliot Abrams did, though. Did someone make him walk it back since the "Bush Doctrine" got trumped by the "Obama Capitulation"?

    • GOPCrusher

      I just don't think that they realized that it might also spread to Wisconsin.

    • MarcelleMarceau

      They came up empty handed in the WMD department; the 'making the Arab world free for democracy' meme was the coup de main. They never mean it, the rat bastards.

  • obfuscator2

    i'm reasonably sure that he's maybe a little drunk or on some good prescription painkillers. he slurred a few words, most noticeably the second time he said "groups" right at the beginning.

    just watched it again. DEFINITELY on something.

    i wish i could drink at work. rats.

  • prommie

    Two words: Howard Beale. Chayefsky saw it coming.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    I hate when people screw up the usage of effect / affect. That alone is reason not to listen to the douche.

    • Ducksworthy

      I find it fascinating that effects can be effected and you can have an affect on something that causes an effect. And also that hebephrenics have an exaggerated affect, which Glans clearly demonstrates.

      • DustBowlBlues

        Misuse of words has a very negative effect on my willingness to affect a happy end. Fuck it. Make me pharoess and I'll put their asses in my prison camps and make them build Stonehenge.

  • el_donaldo

    I love how events just keep pushing him further and further over the top. That aneurysm can't be far off now.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Hasn't he gone blind yet? Lord, rid us of this meddlesome prick.

      • bflrtsplk

        He can't see words with four syllables.Glenn, that's "Pol-i-ti-cal Death to Tyrants."

    • HistoriCat

      If the aneurysm doesn't get him he may just go straight to thinking even the folks at Fox are against him. Wouldn't be surprised if he had to be taken out of their studios in a straight jacket after a total freakout.

  • metamarcisf

    Beck had a funny bit on his radio show today though. He introduced an audio-clip as a speech given by the head of the muslim brotherhood on the streets of Cairo, but then played instead that bit of the migrane – woman at the Grammy's last week. So I laughed. Is that so wrong??

    • Jukesgrrl

      No, because it probably means the guy who operates his sound board wishes HE belonged to a union.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Aw, fuck. I gave in and listened to the first 15 seconds or so of this asshole but realized that as soon as he said concerning the UN that "they got Non-Government Organizations", NGOs–they got it organized" that I couldn't take one more second and never will again.

    All the other insanity aside, no one who has ever worked with an NGO would call it organized. A small point in the general shit storm that is right wing TV.

    • Oblios_Cap

      If there was money in NGOs, $arah would be heading one.

  • carlgt1

    Is there any other nation on earth where you can so easily get half the working class to bash (or beat, or kill) the other half?

    • neiltheblaze

      I honestly can't think of one. Exceptional, aren't we?

  • SayItWithWookies

    You know who the big loser is in all this? The Masons. Back in the day, they used to be the shadowy manipulator behind every instability in the world. Poor bastards have really come down.

    • HistoriCat

      That's just what they want you to think.

    • GOPCrusher

      I just love those little motorcycles and the snappy fezs they wear.

      • James Michael Curley

        Gotta love the loin cloths too.

    • Negropolis

      Hey, what happened to the Bob's Build-a-buger?

  • jmarsh04

    Tea Party brings anti-government, pro-violence, and racist signs to protests, burns Obama in effigy = Glenn Beck says, "Yay, freedom, 1st amendment, we love America!"

    Democrats bring anti-government, pro-violence, and, uh, racist (???) signs to protests, burns Scott Walker in effigy = Glenn Beck says, "New World Order, communism, evil, hate-filled libs, we love Muslims, we want to overthrow the governm…" wait, I thought the Tea Party wanted to overthrow the government! What the fuck is going on here???

    • lulzmonger

      "Forget it, Jake – it's Crazytown."

  • SmutBoffin

    You got us Glenn! I was a member of, and active organizer in, a public employees union in Madison WI for 5 years in the 00s. All we did was sit around and talk about how great the caliphate will be, once we get around to including sharia in our benefits proposal to the State's bargaining team.

    Allah-u ackbar, and solidarity forever, wingnuts!

  • FNMA

    Several of you have referred to Beck as being "bat-shit crazy." I feel compelled to come to the defense of bat shit. Bat shit has a number of productive uses. For instance, it is very useful in controlling nematodes, which are, essentially, parasitic invertebrates.
    Wait a minute…Glenn Beck controls a herd of parasitic invertebrates.
    Fuck.
    Never mind.

    • SmutBoffin

      Good fertilizer, too, you betcha.

      • genxr

        Not to mention, liberals find both Glenn Beck and bat shit annoying when it's on their teevees.

    • James Michael Curley

      Okay, but Col. Bat Guano was crazy.

    • Jukesgrrl

      OK, you win. I'll switch to fuckwad.

  • baconzgood

    I just want to say that when I went the the Stewart/Colbert rally I dressed as Glenn and had a chalk board conspiracy. It was "Fluffy Kittens are Killing America" and I had the foil hat on as well. Lots of people wanted my picture.

  • fuflans

    to be fair, geography is hard.

  • DustBowlBlues

    And this from a guy who believes the New Jerusalem is going to be in Missouri.

    • genxr

      I thought Branson was New Jerusalem.

      • Negropolis

        If Branson is the New Jerusalem, you can send me to hell.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    We came here to establish a one-world Islamic caliphate and chew bubblegum, and we're almost out of gum…

  • Lascauxcaveman

    I have the answer: Lincoln was from Illinois, not Kansas, silly!

    • Sue4466

      You're just saying that because George Soros told you to.

  • MistaEko

    The world's only Islamists that subsist on pepperoni.

    It’s so funny how unions have had political power in this country for years and only now want a world communist government!

    That's because Aaron Rodgers (Berkeley Commie!) is the Secretest Muslim and his title belt pantomime was the sign to activate the sleeper cells.

    • PabaBritannica

      You'd have thought they'd have done this back when, you know, they had more members.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    I don't know how Fux News rationalizes keeping his irrationality on the air. Oh yeah, people watch … and believe him. Also, Goldline picks up the tab.

  • PabaBritannica

    Did anyone else used to play that game Oil Wars? That's what those logos look like.

  • PabaBritannica

    Oh Glen, you obviously just picked up a random book about communism, saw the word "state capitalist", and didn't realize that it was a critical phrase used by more orthodox Marxists. Uh oh Glen, are you making stealth Trotskyist criticisms? TO THE IRON MAIDEN WITH YOU!

  • DustBowlBlues

    Tweety has spoken. Beck is officially declared mentally deranged.

  • spinozasgod

    Luckily dumbacracy will be saved by Brietbarf and friends as they create a "wall of Freedumbs" in Madison tomorrow. These brave patriots will gather at the state capital(the badger shaped building) and use their power scooters to stop evil, creeping unionists from taking over cheese production. FREE MARKET CHEESE(although milk is subsidized)RULES! Roll on Teatards, roll on.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Teabagger protest signs with Obama as Hitler = Leftist/union thug infiltrators trying to make them look bad.

    Union protest signs with Gov. Walker as Hitler = Leftist/union thugs not being civil like they promised they would. Waaaaaaaaa!

    For the record, either usage of Hitler is ridiculous. Now I'm going to go drink until I pass out.

    • SorosBot

      Clearly the comparison should be to Benito Mussolini.

      • LionelHutzEsq

        I've been getting more of a Tito in 1968 feel.

    • GOPCrusher

      Well, you DO know who else used the State Police for their own personal goon squad?

      • bflrtsplk

        The Ohio state football team?

      • lulzmonger

        Captain Beefheart?

    • Negropolis

      One is far less ridiculous/far more appropriate and/or accurate if there is any consolation.

  • DustBowlBlues

    You guys may be laughing now, but when women in the middle east replace their head scarves with Cheesehead hats, you'll see.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Yeah. Turkey and Iran. They are practically twins, those two.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Atta Turk, Iran!

  • Gleem_McShineys

    AHA! A pancake is almost exactly like pita bread, which usually holds… *ominous cello* FALAFEL!
    WAKE UP TO THE TRUTH

  • Asa_Hawks

    He's just worried that the Marxists, Muslims and the U.N will join forces with the Reverse-Vampires and the Saucer people in a fiendish conspiracy to eliminate the meal of dinner.

  • glamourdammerung

    It would be semi-entertaining to see how the conservative "movement" is now made up entirely of screaming crazy nonsense, trolling websites, and editing "pimp sting" videos if they could not manage to occasionally win seats in off year elections.

  • Gleem_McShineys

    Hmm, I'd actually rather look for the link between Hosni Mubarak, Zine El Abidine Ben Ali, the monarchy in Bahrain, and Governor Scott Walker.

    Oh, gee, that's too easy, isn't it? "Rights-limiting fuckstick limits rights."

    There you go, crazy translucent sack of liquified meat. You're welcome.

  • mereoblivion

    And not once do Dorothy and Toto stop to ask, "What's the matter with Kansas?"

  • voodooeconomics

    One could estimate the size of a straight jacket that would fit Beck by looking at the Tv and using measuring tape. IMO a size XL would fit quite nicely. Firemen around Fox Studios needs to be prepared.

  • voodooeconomics

    Beck mentions Michelle Malkin and my little guy stood at attention. Only after peeing he understood the The Malkin Dream is not going to happen today.

    • SheriffRoscoe
      • DustBowlBlues

        Not goin' there with ya', podnuh.

    • trondant

      The Malkin Dream – is that the one where she blinds Barry with two deadly-accurate pingpong balls shot out of her cooter?

  • mavenmaven

    And who does he mean when he refers to google in egypt? Jared Cohen AND THE JEWS! DONT YOU GET IT? THE JEWS WITH THEIR COMMUNISM ANTICOMMUNISM UNIONS FREEDOMS AND INTERNETS!!!!! AAAAAGGGGHHH!!!! SOROS!!!!! JEWS JEWS SPAM AND JEWS!!!!!

  • http://www.wonkette.com PresBeeblebrox

    This guy is batshit fucking insane. I mean, I have worked with schizophrenics and psychotics, and he's not too far behind some of the paranoid ramblings I've heard from those folks.

  • MadBrahms

    Just you wait until the black helicopters come and take Glenn away from us in an attempt to stop him from being raptured. We'll see who's crying "conspiracy theory" then!

  • ChrisM2011

    Not as funny as Breitbart bussing Teabaggers to WI for their PRO-government rally.

  • MiniMencken

    And in a related development, the Texas legislature passed a bill today requiring a doctor to show a sonogram of the fetus to any woman requesting an abortion, so there may be some sort of harmonic convergence of Stupid going on this week.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Oklahome and Arizona missed the message and jumped on the crazy wagon too fast. Others may claim we live there. So would I.

  • Walkinwiddaking

    What the fuck? Just connect the dots people. What is so fucking hard?

  • undeterredbyreality

    I'll have what he's having.

  • NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    Glenn Beck has no questions about 9/11
    Glenn Beck plays dumb about 9/11

  • James Michael Curley

    To paraphrase Mort Sahl, I don't have to write comedy, I just stand there and recite Glen Beck.

  • Beanball

    Shouldn't Beck let his viewers know about his AFTRA membership? Or is that some kind of disinformation-triple-agent secret?

  • PublicLuxury

    As agitators go, he's a stupid fuck, don't you think?

  • lulzmonger

    Yeah boy, I sure did grok the "CHAOS" of a bunch of people at a peaceful protest.
    Sure looked like a scary-ass bunch of teachers & civil servants to me.
    Ready for "Glenn Beck 2.0: Failectric Boogaloo" now – the current one is broken.

  • sanchizmozombie

    http://flic.kr/p/9jNdiw

    Sesame Street is a muslim caliphate or something.

    Governor Scott Walker is a zombie