THE MASTER CRAZY AT WORK  1:55 pm February 18, 2011

Glenn Beck: Wisconsin Unions Want a UN Caliphate, Or Something

by Jack Stuef


OMG, you guys, Glenn Beck loves the nation-state so much. It is his favorite kind of world order. But according to his latest airtight theory, the United Nations, Wisconsin protestors, and Muslim Brotherhood are all in communication with each other about overthrowing the nature of international governance by making a single, Marxist, Islamist world government that respects human rights and freedom according to the resolutions of the UN. That may seem contradictory, but Glenn Beck is always right, so let’s listen to him. World politics sure does make for strange bedfellows, after all. In the minds of crazy people. Somebody’s going to be holding the Treaties of Westphalia close tonight!

It’s so funny how unions have had political power in this country for years and only now want a world communist government!

Oh, and it sounds like Fox News has yet another location for Egypt!

“And apparently help from Google as well—at least in Europe, or I mean, I’m sorry, in Egypt.”

Yeah, Iraq, New York, Europe—same thing. [TPM via chascates]

 
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{ 225 comments }

LiveToServeYa February 18, 2011 at 1:59 pm

And tin-foil hats keep the falafel vendors from controlling your thoughts.

Crank_Tango February 18, 2011 at 2:06 pm

i don't think anything could keep me from wanting a delicious, delicious falafel right now. I mean loofa. whatever.

themcwow February 18, 2011 at 2:19 pm

falafel sandwich, wrapped in foil, sounds good close to lunchtime

elviouslyqueer February 18, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Coincidentally, I just finished off a lovely falafel sandwich. And when, inevitably, said sandwich gets extruded from my lower intestine, I shall think of Glenn Beck and smile.

horsedreamer_1 February 18, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Schwarma! Schwarma!

Redhead February 18, 2011 at 2:37 pm

I agree that Beck's doing something with tin foil, but I think it has a little less to do with wearing hats and a little more to do with something that rhymes with hoking hrack.

mereoblivion February 18, 2011 at 1:59 pm

He could while away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And his head he'd be scratchin'
While his thoughts were busy hatchin' . . .

nounverb911 February 18, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Glenn, I think your magic underwear is on too tight, it's cutting the blood flow to your brain.

trondant February 18, 2011 at 2:48 pm

So his underwear is wrapped around his neck, or he uses his asshole for a brain?

Probably both, come to think of it.

Jukesgrrl February 18, 2011 at 11:29 pm

That's the way they make it.

freakishlywrong February 18, 2011 at 2:00 pm

This awful, pink goblin sounds crazier than any ranter I ever heard on the double R in New York.

Tundra Grifter February 18, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Remember back in The Day if you heard a person talking to her or himself you just figured that, unfortunately, it was another nutcase?

Now you have to first look at the ears for a Bluetooth headset…

jim89048 February 18, 2011 at 3:42 pm

As a kid growing up in San Francisco, there was this one black crackpot down on Market St. that was always talking to god on a rotary phone. Long before Bluetooths (Blueteeth?) or cellphones, so we knew he was the real deal.

Negropolis February 19, 2011 at 12:01 am

A black crackpot, eh? How relevant. lol

jim89048 February 19, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Nah, it's that there was only one, among a sea of white crackpots.

Rarian Rakista February 18, 2011 at 8:27 pm

They can still be nutcases, in fact they don't even need to be talking anymore, I can just spot them with the headset and avoid them altogether.

x111e7thst February 18, 2011 at 2:52 pm

That awful pink goblin would not last long on the RR. Not even on today's polite, well-mannered variant.

GOPCrusher February 18, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Protesting. It's not just for Teabaggers.

LionelHutzEsq February 18, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Actually, according to Glenn Beck, it is.

baconzgood February 18, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Only three to choose from? Which wacky right wing conspiracy is right for me?

HistoriCat February 18, 2011 at 3:08 pm

All of them.

SorosBot February 18, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Well the protests in the Middle East and Middle West are both directed against corrupt corporate cronies, but there's not many other similarities.

jim89048 February 18, 2011 at 3:42 pm

It makes a difference, come prayer time.

ManchuCandidate February 18, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Like the Muslin Brotherhood even knows Wisconsin exists.

Weenus299 February 18, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I'm sure they've seen Happy Days and That 70s Show reruns on Al-Whatsatta or whatever tee vee channel those people get over there in Egypt or France or Iraq.

Natl_Indecency_Cmdr February 18, 2011 at 2:26 pm

I think it's Al-Whatsamatta-U tv.

mourningnmerica February 18, 2011 at 9:31 pm

They do, actually. The Muslin Brotherhood is a garment workers union in Norf Carolina.

PsycWench February 18, 2011 at 2:01 pm

I repeat my resolution from yesterday: I am not clicking on that link and ruining my mood by listening to whatever that guy's name is.

GOPCrusher February 18, 2011 at 2:05 pm

I did and my IQ dropped 50 points.

Boredw/Gravity February 18, 2011 at 2:20 pm

That's okay, according to your avatar you have the pecs to make up for it.

SorosBot February 18, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Beck and Palin both get that treatment from me.

Natl_Indecency_Cmdr February 18, 2011 at 2:27 pm

rock on sister woman! bad man! very bad man!

donner_froh February 18, 2011 at 2:33 pm

I will continue to take Wonkette's word for it that he is a crazy fucker. The fifty word summary that Jack posted with the videos is plenty.

Polythene Pam February 18, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Yay for youtube blocking at work! Maybe I'll forget about it before I get home

chascates February 18, 2011 at 2:02 pm

It all makes so much sense now! Unions = Islamists!

LionelHutzEsq February 18, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Egypt = Europe!

horsedreamer_1 February 18, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Walker = Chuck Norris!

Native_of_SL_UT February 18, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Everything that's not a crazy right wing conspiracy = New World Order.

GOPCrusher February 18, 2011 at 3:17 pm

And wasn't it George H.W. Bush that first said that America was part of the New World Order? And didn't Barry just give G.H.W. Bush a Medal of Freedom?
Coincidence?

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Perhaps this claim will finally get the working class union members off Faux News constant news feed. On second thought, probably not. Stoopid stays retarded.

Lascauxcaveman February 18, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Problem is, most of the unions have been run out of business already, so union membership among FOX viewers is probably already pretty low. :(

lulzmonger February 20, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Solidarity for Allah!

AngryBlakGuy February 18, 2011 at 2:02 pm

…I'm not a mental health professional; but seriously guys, doesn't someone reach a point in their psychosis where everyone just identifies them as the "crazy guy" and then starts to avoid making eye contact with them?! It is pretty bad when I think the homeless guy that wreaks of feces and urine @ the local gas station makes more sense than you?!

genxr February 18, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Hey that homeless guy may be yelling at a mailbox, but he makes some good points!

AngryBlakGuy February 18, 2011 at 2:52 pm

…I agree, USPS pisses me off too!!!

Dashboard_Jesus February 18, 2011 at 8:47 pm

no don't go postal on us my brotha, those USPS workers are fine union members, and they DO deliver the mail, which is really all we ask of them

HistoriCat February 18, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Homeless guy yelling is crazy. Guy on TV yelling is entertainment.

The difference is in the money.

AngryBlakGuy February 18, 2011 at 3:17 pm

…ironically, the homeless guy is more entertaining.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 4:20 pm

And coherent.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 3:17 pm

The guy across the street from the Bon Marche in Seattle who used to beat his umbrella on the No. 5 bus and scream his complaints had far more reason to be angry that this nut case.

AngryBlakGuy February 18, 2011 at 3:57 pm

…Seattle and their "ELITIST" hobos! Here in Miami, our bums cant afford umbrellas!

marinmaven February 20, 2011 at 11:40 pm

My goodness, when you see Beck with O'Reilly, O'Reilly looks at him kinda strange. When O'Reilly, a guy who has said some crazy stuff in the past, looks at you like you are crazy then you are off-the-charts crazy. I have always thought Beck was crazy, but random people who I know are only now starting to notice his crazy. So I guess he is taking his crazy to a whole new level.

Barbara_i February 18, 2011 at 2:02 pm

I'm waiting for Beck to start his rant, criticizing Barack Obama for not doing enough to prevent World War I.

Sue4466 February 18, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Since being on Glenn's board puts things together, can he please post a picture of me, my house, and a million dollars on his magic chalkboard?

fuflans February 18, 2011 at 2:03 pm

egypt is just a rootless gallivanting floozy.

Oblios_Cap February 18, 2011 at 2:15 pm

That bitch will just up and lay down on top of any given country!

ChessieNefercat February 18, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Boy, that just rolls right off the tongue; "rootless, gallivanting floozy." Catchy. Thumbs up.

weejee February 18, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Glenn got confuzzed, both start with an E, like the sound that I make whenever I see him. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (followed by beating head against the wall, desk, whatever)

Weenus299 February 18, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I can't look at Glenn Beck without thinking of the word "stoning."

Monsieur_Grumpe February 18, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Is punchable a word?

Lascauxcaveman February 18, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Dibs on the throat.

nounverb911 February 18, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Has Glenn been snorting his chalk again?

SheriffRoscoe February 18, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Hey Glenn, here's a tip: pressing your chin down over your neck like that when you think you're being smug and sarcastic distracts us from what you're saying because of the fat getting squeezed out the sides.

Gleem_McShineys February 18, 2011 at 3:16 pm

But, wait, I thought the whole point of what he's saying was "Look at the fatneck loony and his fat neck."
I kinda thought he was doing pretty good at it..

AngryBlakGuy February 18, 2011 at 3:19 pm

…reminds you of a uncircumcised d%ck doesnt it?!

freakishlywrong February 18, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Remember that poor reporter lady who they thought had a stroke because she just started babbling gibberish? SHE makes more sense than this fuckclown.
http://www.popcrunch.com/cbs-reporter-serene-bran

Ducksworthy February 18, 2011 at 2:05 pm

I hereby declare the this so called Glans Beck does not exist in my universe and I will no longer recognize any reference to this fictitious emanation of evil.

harry_palmer February 18, 2011 at 2:07 pm

It's not quite as rational or coherent as actually flinging poo.

sportshort February 18, 2011 at 2:07 pm

It must be nice, makin' shit up, believin' it, bein' crazy, gettin' all angry, pokin' those wasp nests, runnin' like a muffhugger from the actual facts of everything. Just generally keeping it wacky, and all 'at. Must be like living in heaven with Jeebus.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Has anyone noticed that the more his ratings slip and his sponsors withdraw from his show the crazier he gets? Then the cycle repeats itself. At the rate he's is going, Beck may be reduced to selling fake gold (Lincoln mint!) and trucknutz.

Crank_Tango February 18, 2011 at 2:08 pm

You know who else ranted and raved about trade unions and communists…

Radiotherapy February 18, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Joe the Plumber?

SorosBot February 18, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Joe McCarthy and Richard Nixon?

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Many good guesses on this one, but I'm going with you as the winner.

FNMA February 18, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Ronald Reagan?

baconzgood February 18, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Wonkbot?

imissopus February 18, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Victoria Jackson?

Lascauxcaveman February 18, 2011 at 3:13 pm

All of the above? (NOT good company.)

Gleem_McShineys February 18, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Glenn Beck's malfunctioning pre-surgery b-hole?

GOPCrusher February 18, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Karl Marx?

ShaveTheWhales February 18, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Emily Latella?

LionelHutzEsq February 18, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Jesus?

Negropolis February 19, 2011 at 12:05 am

Elizabeth Hasslebeck (sp)?

lulzmonger February 20, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Kitler?

Negropolis February 20, 2011 at 10:20 pm

What's that? Like, a kitten Hitler?

MLite February 18, 2011 at 2:08 pm

(Political) Death to Tyrants! I mean, maybe the sign wasn't in the best case, but interesting how Beck didn't read the whole thing…

SheriffRoscoe February 18, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Agreed. But Glenn had his point to make, and reading the entire sign wasn't going to prevent him from doing so. It's kind of the same thing fundamentalists do with scripture.

imissopus February 18, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I caught that too. I would bet my next unemployment check that there were more than a few "Death to Tyrants" signs at the HCR protests without that qualifying "Political" at the front.

GOPCrusher February 18, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Those people were just enjoying their Second Amendment Rights.
WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?

OurHoboSenator February 18, 2011 at 2:08 pm

I'm a union goon, but I don't know anything about this one-world half-breed Muslin gummint. All I want is for Panera to bring back the Salmon Club sandwich.

genxr February 18, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Salmon sandwich? The reddest fish of all? Just more proof that the unions are literally shoving communism down our throats.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Not to mention mercury.

ChessieNefercat February 18, 2011 at 4:39 pm

I work in an office at a sissy-pants elitist university, make a big fat 19K/yr take home pay, and could not beat up my cat, even with my useless MS diploma, but according to all the fox noise types and knuckle-dragging commenters on various news sites, I am a "thug." Because I belong to a union. And you know what? I'm a little tired of being considered some sort of lazy parasite. On Wisconsin!

DangerHelvetica February 18, 2011 at 2:09 pm

I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Where's my spaceship?

hagajim February 18, 2011 at 2:13 pm

I agree…It's a sad state of affairs….Unions in this country have been demonized by the right for years, and gutted by various right-to-work laws around the country so now, finally the right is looking to completely destroy the unions in order to better serve their corporate overlords…and "We the Sheeple" just keep buying into their B.S.

SorosBot February 18, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Convert to Glenn Beck's religion; then you get to have your own planet after you die.

bflrtsplk February 18, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Plus, as an added bonus, you get your own universe while your still alive.

ShaveTheWhales February 18, 2011 at 5:21 pm

The folks at Livermore loaded it with drugs and took off.

Dashboard_Jesus February 18, 2011 at 8:50 pm

yeah, and we wuz PROMISED jet packs too! also

Buckminster February 18, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Hope he chokes on a falafel.

Flat_Earther February 18, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Everybody needs to run into the street right now and scream:

"We're as mad as hell, and we're not going to take this anymore."

GuanoFaucet February 18, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Holy fuck is he batshit crazy.

Oblios_Cap February 18, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Jeez. I want a New World Order like any other good little Socialist, but none of those three choices is very appealing.

Damn those NGOs and their buckets of ca$h!

Flat_Earther February 18, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Glenn Beck is bat shit fucking crazy.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 3:03 pm

We need a new term for crazy, just to fit this guy's psychosis. I keep waiting for him to do his show in a strait jacket with George Soros' name on it. Then Beck will use his teeth to hold the chalk and show how Soros and the evil NGOs (fuck Doctors Without Borders and CARE) are trying to silence him. Or he'll do his show with Soros-stamped duct tape over his mouth and use his chalk board to do his talking for him.

Wait–I assume he's done that already.

Lascauxcaveman February 18, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Clearly. The only question is how many more Jered Loughners he's going to spawn.

SudsMcKenzie February 18, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Actually, the Muslim Brotherhood is starting to sound pretty good right now.

AngryBlakGuy February 18, 2011 at 2:15 pm

…the U.N., Muslim Brotherhood and Unions?! Are you fukkin serious?! Wal-Mart has more muscle than all those combined!!! Not that I have an issue with "Roll back" pricing or anything!

DerrickWildcat February 18, 2011 at 2:15 pm

I'm beginning to question his love for America since he hasn't cried on-air in awhile. What's up with that?

baconzgood February 18, 2011 at 2:36 pm

I miss his barking.

bumfug February 18, 2011 at 3:06 pm

He sold that bit to Boehner.

glamourdammerung February 18, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Maybe his endorsement deal with Vick's fell through.

Jerri February 18, 2011 at 2:17 pm

This explains so much about all of my public school teachers. Teaching me math in Arabic numerals? Those muslin-sleeper-cell-connected bastards were just biding their time!

lulzmonger February 20, 2011 at 10:15 pm

If they brainwashed you with Al-Gebra, you may already be a mullah!

Flat_Earther February 18, 2011 at 2:19 pm

I always thought the Jews were going to be in charge of the New World Order. How did the Muslims get in there?

SorosBot February 18, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Jews and Muslims are well known to work together to secretly take over the world, according to Glenn Beck's anachronistic chalkboards.

Oblios_Cap February 18, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Not surprising, since they're the same fucking religions!

Lascauxcaveman February 18, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Obviously, since they both avoid pork and certain shellfish.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 2:59 pm

And where is the Queen of England?

imissopus February 18, 2011 at 3:12 pm

And Colonel Sanders!

BlueStateLibel February 18, 2011 at 2:19 pm

So now we're reduced to calling people who don't want to work for substitence wages Muslim terrorists…I knew this day would come.

DonnyKerabotsos February 18, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Anyone else notice that he took the laurel leaf (a symbol of peace, actually) which frames the UN emblem and applied to both of the other emblems?

Sorta like drawing a Hitler stache on Obama…

But in reverse, of course, because Glenn Beck does everything ass-backward.

SorosBot February 18, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Does that mean dimes are a tool of the conspiracy?

freakishlywrong February 18, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Anyone else ever read the Jersey Shore recaps at Gawker? They're fucking hi-larious, and THEY are more cohesive than this fuckwit.

Radiotherapy February 18, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Their come back on this lunacy will be: And the Koch Brothers, Thomas & Scalia, Esq®, and Teabaggers, How are they connected?

MinAgain February 18, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Oh, Glenn. You so crazy.

gef05 February 18, 2011 at 2:25 pm

"about overthrowing the nature of international governance by making a single, Marxist, Islamist world government that respects human rights and freedom according to the resolutions of the UN"

If it comes to this versus President Sarah Palin, I'll go with this.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Sounds great to me. When does the bad part come into the equation?

glamourdammerung February 18, 2011 at 3:46 pm

There would be fewer contradictions than a Sarah Palin regime.

GuanoFaucet February 18, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Fear the Badger Brotherhood!

SmutBoffin February 18, 2011 at 3:09 pm

If you want to be a Badger (JIHADI),
Just come along with me,
By the bright shining light,
By the light of the moon;
If you want to be a Badger (JIHADI),
Just come along with me,
By the bright shining light of the moon.

owhatever February 18, 2011 at 2:28 pm

So Mohammed, Jimmy Hoffa and the Secretary-General all go into a bar …

horsedreamer_1 February 18, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Unfortunately, Trey Parker & Matt Stone were tending bar….

Lascauxcaveman February 18, 2011 at 3:22 pm

"… and say to the bartender, "Because alcohol is haram,"

"…We're gonna unionize this joint…"

"…then take away your seat on the Security Council."

(pause)

"Just messing with ya; pitcher of IPA, please. And a lemonade for Beardy McTurban over here."

baconzgood February 18, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Save us Glenn with your Miracle Geese.

MinAgain February 18, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Now that I think about it, the only things missing in Glenn's world view are a couple of brave hobbits, a golden ring, and a volcano in Mordor.

Natl_Indecency_Cmdr February 18, 2011 at 2:29 pm

No, no, no. He misheard us. What we want here in Madison, Wisconsin is a *cheese plate*, not a caliphate. He's a terrible waiter.

JoshuaNorton February 18, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Classic Republican style – you and your rubber-stamping wingnut zombies in the legislature pass tax cuts that will drive your state to the very crisis you want to use to break the unions in a bare-ass naked power grab.

Since Barry got elected, Republicans have been throwing the most sustained hissy fit in American political history.

GeoatBeck February 20, 2011 at 10:58 am

The Republicans were complicit. You have to think in terms of progressiveness.

donner_froh February 18, 2011 at 2:29 pm

U.N. celibate? Seems pretty harsh.

Natl_Indecency_Cmdr February 18, 2011 at 2:30 pm

"fuckclown" "fuckwit". God I love you Wonketeers.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 7:28 pm

I think wonkeratti sounds classier, as befits this august group of political pundits.

lulzmonger February 20, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Wonkigentsia is also acceptible, although not used.

LionelHutzEsq February 18, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Does anyone remember, just two years ago, before we had a Black President, when FOX News would be celebrating the spread of Democracy throughout the Arab world as a sign that Bush was right?

Oblios_Cap February 18, 2011 at 2:39 pm

In this case, one man's freedom fighter is an American's terrorist. Freedumb only works when they want what we want them to want, silly.

horsedreamer_1 February 18, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Elliot Abrams did, though. Did someone make him walk it back since the "Bush Doctrine" got trumped by the "Obama Capitulation"?

GOPCrusher February 18, 2011 at 3:39 pm

I just don't think that they realized that it might also spread to Wisconsin.

MarcelleMarceau February 18, 2011 at 6:13 pm

They came up empty handed in the WMD department; the 'making the Arab world free for democracy' meme was the coup de main. They never mean it, the rat bastards.

obfuscator2 February 18, 2011 at 2:32 pm

i'm reasonably sure that he's maybe a little drunk or on some good prescription painkillers. he slurred a few words, most noticeably the second time he said "groups" right at the beginning.

just watched it again. DEFINITELY on something.

i wish i could drink at work. rats.

prommie February 18, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Two words: Howard Beale. Chayefsky saw it coming.

SheriffRoscoe February 18, 2011 at 2:34 pm

I hate when people screw up the usage of effect / affect. That alone is reason not to listen to the douche.

Ducksworthy February 18, 2011 at 2:59 pm

I find it fascinating that effects can be effected and you can have an affect on something that causes an effect. And also that hebephrenics have an exaggerated affect, which Glans clearly demonstrates.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Misuse of words has a very negative effect on my willingness to affect a happy end. Fuck it. Make me pharoess and I'll put their asses in my prison camps and make them build Stonehenge.

el_donaldo February 18, 2011 at 2:35 pm

I love how events just keep pushing him further and further over the top. That aneurysm can't be far off now.

Oblios_Cap February 18, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Hasn't he gone blind yet? Lord, rid us of this meddlesome prick.

bflrtsplk February 18, 2011 at 4:11 pm

He can't see words with four syllables.Glenn, that's "Pol-i-ti-cal Death to Tyrants."

HistoriCat February 18, 2011 at 3:18 pm

If the aneurysm doesn't get him he may just go straight to thinking even the folks at Fox are against him. Wouldn't be surprised if he had to be taken out of their studios in a straight jacket after a total freakout.

metamarcisf February 18, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Beck had a funny bit on his radio show today though. He introduced an audio-clip as a speech given by the head of the muslim brotherhood on the streets of Cairo, but then played instead that bit of the migrane – woman at the Grammy's last week. So I laughed. Is that so wrong??

Jukesgrrl February 18, 2011 at 11:41 pm

No, because it probably means the guy who operates his sound board wishes HE belonged to a union.

donner_froh February 18, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Aw, fuck. I gave in and listened to the first 15 seconds or so of this asshole but realized that as soon as he said concerning the UN that "they got Non-Government Organizations", NGOs–they got it organized" that I couldn't take one more second and never will again.

All the other insanity aside, no one who has ever worked with an NGO would call it organized. A small point in the general shit storm that is right wing TV.

Oblios_Cap February 18, 2011 at 3:35 pm

If there was money in NGOs, $arah would be heading one.

carlgt1 February 18, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Is there any other nation on earth where you can so easily get half the working class to bash (or beat, or kill) the other half?

neiltheblaze February 18, 2011 at 2:58 pm

I honestly can't think of one. Exceptional, aren't we?

SayItWithWookies February 18, 2011 at 2:46 pm

You know who the big loser is in all this? The Masons. Back in the day, they used to be the shadowy manipulator behind every instability in the world. Poor bastards have really come down.

HistoriCat February 18, 2011 at 3:18 pm

That's just what they want you to think.

GOPCrusher February 18, 2011 at 3:43 pm

I just love those little motorcycles and the snappy fezs they wear.

James Michael Curley February 18, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Gotta love the loin cloths too.

Negropolis February 19, 2011 at 12:13 am

Hey, what happened to the Bob's Build-a-buger?

jmarsh04 February 18, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Tea Party brings anti-government, pro-violence, and racist signs to protests, burns Obama in effigy = Glenn Beck says, "Yay, freedom, 1st amendment, we love America!"

Democrats bring anti-government, pro-violence, and, uh, racist (???) signs to protests, burns Scott Walker in effigy = Glenn Beck says, "New World Order, communism, evil, hate-filled libs, we love Muslims, we want to overthrow the governm…" wait, I thought the Tea Party wanted to overthrow the government! What the fuck is going on here???

lulzmonger February 20, 2011 at 10:33 pm

"Forget it, Jake – it's Crazytown."

SmutBoffin February 18, 2011 at 2:48 pm

You got us Glenn! I was a member of, and active organizer in, a public employees union in Madison WI for 5 years in the 00s. All we did was sit around and talk about how great the caliphate will be, once we get around to including sharia in our benefits proposal to the State's bargaining team.

Allah-u ackbar, and solidarity forever, wingnuts!

FNMA February 18, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Several of you have referred to Beck as being "bat-shit crazy." I feel compelled to come to the defense of bat shit. Bat shit has a number of productive uses. For instance, it is very useful in controlling nematodes, which are, essentially, parasitic invertebrates.
Wait a minute…Glenn Beck controls a herd of parasitic invertebrates.
Fuck.
Never mind.

SmutBoffin February 18, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Good fertilizer, too, you betcha.

genxr February 18, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Not to mention, liberals find both Glenn Beck and bat shit annoying when it's on their teevees.

James Michael Curley February 18, 2011 at 11:11 pm

Okay, but Col. Bat Guano was crazy.

Jukesgrrl February 18, 2011 at 11:45 pm

OK, you win. I'll switch to fuckwad.

baconzgood February 18, 2011 at 2:50 pm

I just want to say that when I went the the Stewart/Colbert rally I dressed as Glenn and had a chalk board conspiracy. It was "Fluffy Kittens are Killing America" and I had the foil hat on as well. Lots of people wanted my picture.

fuflans February 18, 2011 at 2:51 pm

to be fair, geography is hard.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 2:55 pm

And this from a guy who believes the New Jerusalem is going to be in Missouri.

genxr February 18, 2011 at 3:52 pm

I thought Branson was New Jerusalem.

Negropolis February 19, 2011 at 12:15 am

If Branson is the New Jerusalem, you can send me to hell.

imissopus February 18, 2011 at 2:59 pm

We came here to establish a one-world Islamic caliphate and chew bubblegum, and we're almost out of gum…

Lascauxcaveman February 18, 2011 at 2:59 pm

I have the answer: Lincoln was from Illinois, not Kansas, silly!

Sue4466 February 18, 2011 at 3:16 pm

You're just saying that because George Soros told you to.

MistaEko February 18, 2011 at 3:00 pm

The world's only Islamists that subsist on pepperoni.

It’s so funny how unions have had political power in this country for years and only now want a world communist government!

That's because Aaron Rodgers (Berkeley Commie!) is the Secretest Muslim and his title belt pantomime was the sign to activate the sleeper cells.

PabaBritannica February 18, 2011 at 3:06 pm

You'd have thought they'd have done this back when, you know, they had more members.

JustPixelz February 18, 2011 at 3:01 pm

I don't know how Fux News rationalizes keeping his irrationality on the air. Oh yeah, people watch … and believe him. Also, Goldline picks up the tab.

PabaBritannica February 18, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Did anyone else used to play that game Oil Wars? That's what those logos look like.

PabaBritannica February 18, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Oh Glen, you obviously just picked up a random book about communism, saw the word "state capitalist", and didn't realize that it was a critical phrase used by more orthodox Marxists. Uh oh Glen, are you making stealth Trotskyist criticisms? TO THE IRON MAIDEN WITH YOU!

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Tweety has spoken. Beck is officially declared mentally deranged.

spinozasgod February 18, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Luckily dumbacracy will be saved by Brietbarf and friends as they create a "wall of Freedumbs" in Madison tomorrow. These brave patriots will gather at the state capital(the badger shaped building) and use their power scooters to stop evil, creeping unionists from taking over cheese production. FREE MARKET CHEESE(although milk is subsidized)RULES! Roll on Teatards, roll on.

imissopus February 18, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Teabagger protest signs with Obama as Hitler = Leftist/union thug infiltrators trying to make them look bad.

Union protest signs with Gov. Walker as Hitler = Leftist/union thugs not being civil like they promised they would. Waaaaaaaaa!

For the record, either usage of Hitler is ridiculous. Now I'm going to go drink until I pass out.

SorosBot February 18, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Clearly the comparison should be to Benito Mussolini.

LionelHutzEsq February 18, 2011 at 5:33 pm

I've been getting more of a Tito in 1968 feel.

GOPCrusher February 18, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Well, you DO know who else used the State Police for their own personal goon squad?

bflrtsplk February 18, 2011 at 4:05 pm

The Ohio state football team?

lulzmonger February 20, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Captain Beefheart?

Negropolis February 19, 2011 at 12:16 am

One is far less ridiculous/far more appropriate and/or accurate if there is any consolation.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 3:19 pm

You guys may be laughing now, but when women in the middle east replace their head scarves with Cheesehead hats, you'll see.

Maman February 18, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Yeah. Turkey and Iran. They are practically twins, those two.

Oblios_Cap February 18, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Atta Turk, Iran!

Gleem_McShineys February 18, 2011 at 3:36 pm

AHA! A pancake is almost exactly like pita bread, which usually holds… *ominous cello* FALAFEL!
WAKE UP TO THE TRUTH

Asa_Hawks February 18, 2011 at 3:44 pm

He's just worried that the Marxists, Muslims and the U.N will join forces with the Reverse-Vampires and the Saucer people in a fiendish conspiracy to eliminate the meal of dinner.

glamourdammerung February 18, 2011 at 3:45 pm

It would be semi-entertaining to see how the conservative "movement" is now made up entirely of screaming crazy nonsense, trolling websites, and editing "pimp sting" videos if they could not manage to occasionally win seats in off year elections.

Gleem_McShineys February 18, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Hmm, I'd actually rather look for the link between Hosni Mubarak, Zine El Abidine Ben Ali, the monarchy in Bahrain, and Governor Scott Walker.

Oh, gee, that's too easy, isn't it? "Rights-limiting fuckstick limits rights."

There you go, crazy translucent sack of liquified meat. You're welcome.

mereoblivion February 18, 2011 at 4:15 pm

And not once do Dorothy and Toto stop to ask, "What's the matter with Kansas?"

voodooeconomics February 18, 2011 at 4:44 pm

One could estimate the size of a straight jacket that would fit Beck by looking at the Tv and using measuring tape. IMO a size XL would fit quite nicely. Firemen around Fox Studios needs to be prepared.

voodooeconomics February 18, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Beck mentions Michelle Malkin and my little guy stood at attention. Only after peeing he understood the The Malkin Dream is not going to happen today.

SheriffRoscoe February 18, 2011 at 5:24 pm
DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Not goin' there with ya', podnuh.

trondant February 19, 2011 at 1:51 pm

The Malkin Dream – is that the one where she blinds Barry with two deadly-accurate pingpong balls shot out of her cooter?

mavenmaven February 18, 2011 at 5:23 pm

And who does he mean when he refers to google in egypt? Jared Cohen AND THE JEWS! DONT YOU GET IT? THE JEWS WITH THEIR COMMUNISM ANTICOMMUNISM UNIONS FREEDOMS AND INTERNETS!!!!! AAAAAGGGGHHH!!!! SOROS!!!!! JEWS JEWS SPAM AND JEWS!!!!!

PresBeeblebrox February 18, 2011 at 5:26 pm

This guy is batshit fucking insane. I mean, I have worked with schizophrenics and psychotics, and he's not too far behind some of the paranoid ramblings I've heard from those folks.

MadBrahms February 18, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Just you wait until the black helicopters come and take Glenn away from us in an attempt to stop him from being raptured. We'll see who's crying "conspiracy theory" then!

ChrisM2011 February 18, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Not as funny as Breitbart bussing Teabaggers to WI for their PRO-government rally.

MiniMencken February 18, 2011 at 6:00 pm

And in a related development, the Texas legislature passed a bill today requiring a doctor to show a sonogram of the fetus to any woman requesting an abortion, so there may be some sort of harmonic convergence of Stupid going on this week.

DustBowlBlues February 18, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Oklahome and Arizona missed the message and jumped on the crazy wagon too fast. Others may claim we live there. So would I.

Walkinwiddaking February 18, 2011 at 6:11 pm

What the fuck? Just connect the dots people. What is so fucking hard?

undeterredbyreality February 18, 2011 at 7:32 pm

I'll have what he's having.

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi February 18, 2011 at 8:20 pm

Glenn Beck has no questions about 9/11
Glenn Beck plays dumb about 9/11

James Michael Curley February 18, 2011 at 11:00 pm

To paraphrase Mort Sahl, I don't have to write comedy, I just stand there and recite Glen Beck.

Beanball February 20, 2011 at 3:40 am

Shouldn't Beck let his viewers know about his AFTRA membership? Or is that some kind of disinformation-triple-agent secret?

PublicLuxury February 20, 2011 at 3:35 pm

As agitators go, he's a stupid fuck, don't you think?

lulzmonger February 20, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Yeah boy, I sure did grok the "CHAOS" of a bunch of people at a peaceful protest.
Sure looked like a scary-ass bunch of teachers & civil servants to me.
Ready for "Glenn Beck 2.0: Failectric Boogaloo" now – the current one is broken.

sanchizmozombie February 21, 2011 at 5:45 pm

http://flic.kr/p/9jNdiw

Sesame Street is a muslim caliphate or something.

Governor Scott Walker is a zombie

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