The Joe the Plumber Show, Coming To a Cheeto-Smudged Monitor Near You

  whose woods these are


Joe the Plumber was previously making a living with Pajamas Media somehow. He is now doing this. And miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.

Does Joe the Plumber now live in the barn in this video? Is he our horse? Does he think us queer to stop without a farmhouse near? We hear his harness bells shake.

(We bet he plays that cello back there, at least.) [Weigel]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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123 comments

    1. gef05

      Hey metamarcisf,

      What the hell are you doing wrong, mate?

      You were getting close to the psychologically important -120p a few days ago, weren't you? But here you are drifting back towards the mediocrity of -110.

      Let me know if you need some downfisting to get back on track.

  1. baconzgood

    I don't know……I think it needs more monkeys. LOTS MORE MONKEYS! Can't go wrong with monkeys on teevee.

    1. Worthly Wokette Skum

      Indeed, that opens a clear path to the presidency. You just can't go wrong with a president that starred on TV with monkeys.

    1. hagajim

      If there's one thing that St. Sarah taught us all it's that if you're a big enough turd it takes that 15 minutes a long time to fade away. Granted, old Joe isn't as good at it as the snowbilly – but he's trying.

  2. Ducksworthy

    WILL NOT WATCH But I did once see an uncensored episode of the Soupy Sales Show where Soupy opens the door and starts cracking up. The audience shot can't see what's behind the door but the second camera shows a very talented young woman with tassels attached to her nipples swinging them in opposite directions. If Joe the Plunger had something educational like that on his show, I'd watch that. maybe.

    1. nounverb911

      My favorite Soupy Sales joke was:
      "I took my wife to a baseball game, I kissed her on the strikes, and she kissed me on the balls".

    1. PristineODummy

      I thought Scare-ah hadz a mad on Joe? And Toad wrote him mean emails between banging the nice massage lady?

    1. fuflans

      i think i've said this before but this is going to be his legacy – the dumbing down of the american political debate to the point where it's nothing but twitter mutterings by barely educated celebutards.

      i would be very sad for him only i'm a vengeful bitch and i have to live in this america.

    1. prommie

      "Hot is on the left, cold is on the right, and shit don't flow uphill. And never bite your fingernails." Thats it, you are now a trained plumber.

  3. BeWoot

    Well, Warhol did say that in the future everybody would be famous for 17 minutes. But hasn't it been 18 minutes already for this guy?

  4. jmarsh04

    I hope he's doing this for free, since taking money from a rich, hard-working teevee-station owner's pocket and depositing it into your checking accout is considered a redistribution of wealth.

  5. Oblios_Cap

    I made about 20 seconds. "We're here to talk about right and wrong, not right and left." Wow, rightwingers sure are clever, aren't they?

    Why does anybody care what Joe's opinion is? We have a bad case of Moron Worship in this here egg-ceptional cuntry of ours.

  6. SexySmurf

    You know your talk show sucks when your most famous guest is María Conchita Alonso and it's not 1986.

  7. Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

    Joe the Plumber? Didn't he die in a grease-fire or something? I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere…

  8. JoshuaNorton

    I'll have you know that the Cheetos with jalapeno ain't too bad. Of course, that may be a little too "illegal immigrant" for the Teabaggers. They probably like the bland puffy ones that just go "poof" and leave your mouth full of cheesy dust.

    What were we talking about?

  9. SheriffRoscoe

    So it's just going to be Joe inviting us into his cabin, sitting down over a cup of coffee to talk about all the plain, common sense ideas of how to fix the country, sprinkled with cheap jabs at Bill and Hillary Clinton's marriage. It'll be like The View, but with more plaid flannel shirts and Elmer Fudd hats.

    1. Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

      Everyone in the audience will find a gift bag under their seat filled with 10-gauge shotgun shells, squirrel-jerky and literature from the John Birch society.

      (oops, this was supposed to to be posted under the comment below–pretend I did that, instead of revealing what an incompetent jackass I am)

  10. SayItWithWookies

    I'd watch it, but that asshole never finished telling me how to plug my cable converter box in.

  11. prommie

    Any random street schizophrenic would be more intelligent, well-informed, and interesting. Lunatics are often pretty smart, intelligence seems to cause insanity. Its fucking dimbulb high-functioning tards like this guy and Palin and Bachman and the legions of Tea-Tard followers who have nothing to fear from mental illness, they don't have enough cognition to suffer cognitive impairment.

  12. Barbara_i

    Make fun of this douche all you want but the truth is that he's still done more interviews than Sarah Palin has. *shiver*

  13. JoshuaNorton

    I'm guessing they couldn't afford writers so they hired several monkeys, who did nothing but fling their poo on blank paper, and this was the best interpretation that Not-Joe the Not-Plumber could get from poo on paper. You know, kind of like what Glenn Beck does.

  14. LionelHutzEsq

    Yes! Because I've always wondered what the Glenn Beck show would be like without all of FOX's money and all of the cocaine.

    The only problem is that I'm sure Sarah Palin will sue him for stealing her idea.

  15. Rosie_Scenario

    As I recall, he achieved "fame" by asking candidate Obama about how tax changes might affect the new plumbing business he was going to start. Another fake, fraud, freak. Also.

    1. genxr

      Yes, he should have asked Obama how tax changes were going to affect his new career as right wing fame whore.

    2. Beowoof

      I do believe his claim to fame was influenced by his relationship to John McCain's campaign manager. Joe talking to Obama was a set up from day one.

  16. Troubledog

    Only in this great nation can an unlicensed plumber become famously known as Joe the Plumber.

    I am heartened that if he ever runs as a write-in for public office, no one will be able to spell his real last name correctly.

  17. gef05

    Nice to see some things don't change. The guy was a waste of time back whenever-the-hell-it-was, and still is.

  18. sportshort

    In the future, everyone will be famous forever, provided they cling to fame with a rabid wildebeests' intensity and are willing to be a running fucking joke in perpetuity. Yay! Imbeciles rule! My left nut for President in 2012!

  19. PalinPussyPower

    I can't watch because I was planning on having sex tonight and nothing dries me up faster than a jobless redneck oozing with hubris.

  20. snoopyfan2010

    The lyrics SAY for all Americans but…..oh yeah the street smarts guys is very very urban so there you go.

  21. MissTaken

    Well, ah shit. The little movie won't play (could be my work server or the utter ineptitude of Joe The Plumber, it's a toss up!).

    BUT! It does have this lovely message:

    "Well, this isn't right.
    Sorry, we've encounterd an error and can't play the video.
    There's plenty more to watch at RIGHTNETWORK.com though."

    …ah yes, I "encounterd" a turd that had Joe's name written all over it.

  22. ttommyunger

    Not Guilty, Yoah Honor! Flabbergasted, Yes. Stupified, Naturally! Amused? A little. Spiteful? Jealous? Notsomuch. As a matter of fact, I feel a little sorry for the big dumb cunt, but not much.

  23. Dudleydidwrong

    Can we go lower than this? Probably, but let's not think about that abyss. This one is horrid. About 15 seconds in I think he picks his nose and wipes a booger on his pants. About 15 seconds from the end the "voice" (maybe Joe himself!) talks about the Constitution and they show a picture of the Declaration of Independence. Between those two highlights there was a whole shitload of agony. John McCain: the scumbag that keeps on giving…

  24. problemwithcaring

    hypocrite: (n) a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

    From this definition and the mere fact that anyone even knows who Joe Wurkowskierwhatevs is, proves that America tolerates hypocrites just fine, thank you.

  25. horsedreamer_1

    With the goatee, we're seeing what "Stone Cold" Steve Austin will look like in another five or so years, after the massive steroids doses have demonstrated their full effect.

  26. i_like_tigers

    O.K. Joe the Plumber thought that he was going to have to pay increased taxes because his income would magically grow from 60k to over 250k. (I am using "thought" liberally.) Maybe he was right? Brain hurts.

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