Canadian prime minister Justin Bieber revealed to the Rolling Stone website that America sucks for all kinds of reasons, not the least of which is the nation’s barbaric “health care system” (The Greatest Health Care System In The World™). So when will Justin Bieber become an American Citizen?
Can you even believe he had the nerve to say “never,” as in “never never ever,” which is what he probably said? But why? Why not become a citizen of America?
He should know that the United States is the Greatest Country In The World (according to people who have literally never been anywhere else on Earth), because his race probably has American TeeVee News in Canada, maybe, to broadcast this important message. After all, we have to have CBC and that gutter “French” station from Quebec on our satellite radio here in the real North America!
This little punk kid with the microwaved Byrds wig, he thinks he can say bad things about MIGHTY AMERICA and still get our teen girls all juiced up? UNCOOL, DA BIEB. (That is his rap nickname, we bet, “DA BIEB.” Or maybe “DA BEEB.” Or “BEEB BEE CEE-LO.”) But please say in American words why you will not become a U.S. citizen, DA BIEB.
“You guys are evil,” he says with a laugh. “Canada’s the best country in the world. We go to the doctor and we don’t need to worry about paying him, but here, your whole life, you’re broke because of medical bills. My bodyguard’s baby was premature, and now he has to pay for it. In Canada, if your baby’s premature, he stays in the hospital as long as he needs to, and then you go home.
WHUT. Also he is against abortion. Who could be against abortion? It seems like every Canadian singer (Leonard Cohen and Justin Bieber) is for some reason against killing babies for sport when they are still “in da uterus.” It’s like these people do not even remember we fought whatever war, Vietnam or Grenada or someplace, to free them from Tyranny. God, sometimes it’s like foreigners don’t even know how to be liberal.