When Juan Williams was fired for talking about being nervous around Muslims, Republicans apparently found an opening to defund public broadcasting, which should be used to inform America about Sharia law and to prop up Tucker Carlson’s career, not be a place for facts and such. To fight back, Democratic Reps. Ed Markey and Earl Blumenauer got together with some trademarked children’s furry characters to talk about how PBS’s heavily merchandized teevee shows for children are better than other heavily merchandized teevee shows for children. Wow, life in the minority party is just sad.
“We need your help today,” Markey said as a person dressed as the character walked toward the Capitol building. “We can’t leave Arthur and all of his pals in the lurch.”
The members stood behind dolls of Sesame Street’s Big Bird, Grover and Elmo. Behind them, House aides held up signs showing Bert and Ernie being handed a letter that reads, “GOPink Slip: You are fired,” and another that showed cartoon characters being tossed away from a scale weighed down by “Big Oil.”
“We’re here to create jobs, not lay off Bert and Ernie,” said Rep. Nita Lowey of New York.
Yes, let’s not lay off Bert and Ernie. How else are those homos going to donate $2,300 to Democratic candidates each cycle? WE KNOW WHERE YOUR MONEY COMES FROM, LIBRULS.
So PBS has gotten some unfunny members of Congress on board by letting them have sex with bespectacled furries. Are there any other ways they can make themselves seem cool to children? [Daily Caller]
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Furries!
Thanks for a happy post, Jack.
~
Where's Pedo Bear?
you beat me by *that* much!
CPAC.
The panoply isn't complete without an appearance from Pedobear. We want Pedobear!
I guess that's more Republican territory.
I thought Trump's hair was one of the Muppets.
More of a moppet, really.
First Hamas Mouse, now this.
When will the puppet bloodshed end!?
The Hamas-affiliated al-Aqsa channel aired the last episode on Friday, showing the character, Farfur, being beaten to death by an "Israeli agent".
Today we are all Farfur.
~
Next on Sesame Street: Grover is anally raped by Republican "Young Guns." The only witness was Aloysius Snuffleupagus, who watched in silent horror from his hiding place in the alley, but later refused to testify.
At least they didn't bring Barney; he would make even the most committed leftist want to defund PBS.
Barney Frank?
Barney Rubble?
Barney Miller?
Well, he is a dinosaur, which would just needlessly antagonize the Republicans by reminding them that PBS believes in evolution.
Can we keep Sesame Street if Bert and Ernie promise to move into C Street in a bid for male-to-male support, or live as a totally-straight California congressman and his chief-of-staff?
As long as the furries are accompanied by a Muppet Kate Pierson my contribution dollars will continue to flow towards PBS.
Needz moar beehive.
Yeah, that would be nice. But Kate is now 62, and still totally hot. I'd leave well enough alone.
But think of the brilliance behind this Jack. You get kids mad at Republicans for hurting PBS's kids characters. After that, how much harder must it be for your average Republican Congressmen to find the illicit sex he craves?
Were here to create jobs, not lay off Bert and Ernie, said Rep. Nita Lowey of New York.
You may not be, Nita, but the Republicans are. This is just another of their wet-dream social-conservative cuts designed to lurch the country to a less-informed version of itself, if that were even possible. This economic crisis is a wet-dream for them: They get to create their own private Somalia on the backs of the poor then wrap themselves in fiscal prudence for the cameras. Don't be fooled, though…at the end of the day it's just typical conservatism trying to pull us back into the 1800's. If they had to do it by adding a trillion dollars to the deficit they'd do it in a heartbeat.
Keep 'em safe, secure, and stupid. It's the Republican way!
Is that like barefoot and pregnant?
While making them feel unsafe, insecure and scared to death.
Granted the Sesame St guys are overmarketed (Elmo really annoys me) but they are way better the usual bullshit from Corprate US America like the Chocobot Crapanime Mutant Power Rangers Kung Fu Fighting and Merchanise Hour or the "Retard" Dumbfuck Family show (aka Sarah Palin show) on the misnamed TLC.
This is one fight the Teabaggers are not going to win.
But the Sesame Street guys are very, very urban.
Their city almost has two tall buildings, and not one of them is the church!
You only think it's overmarketed because you haven't tried "Do-my-taxes Elmo" yet. I did. He found $735.42 in deductions that I had missed. And he even checked the campaign public financing box for me.
Says alot about the GOP when they can't wait to give it to Bert and Ernie in the ass. It's been less than a month since they were sworn in and screwin' the Teletubbies is at the top of their agenda.
The members stood behind dolls of Sesame Street’s Big Bird, Grover and Elmo. Behind them, House aides held up signs showing Bert and Ernie being handed a letter that reads, “GOPink Slip: You are fired,” and another that showed cartoon characters being tossed away from a scale weighed down by “Big Oil.”
“We’re here to create jobs, not lay off Bert and Ernie,” said Rep. Nita Lowey of New York.
And then they all formed a large yiffpile and lived happily ever after. The End.
I just love a happy ending!
Tea Bag vs Tote Bag
Today, we are all Furbaggers.
Are the Teletubbies included in the "furry" category? Or the "gay" category?
Eh, my first reaction was that if they defund PBS and its child-oriented programming, kids will have to do something other than watch TV. Terrible, that.
Child-oriented? I thought Teletubbies was designed to appeal to stoners.
You're thinking of The Electric Company.
Puppets are pervy, anyway. Personally, I disappove of any toy that requires someone to shove a hand up its ass to operate.
Like the GOPer Party?
"Stuef a hand", not "shove a hand.
The GOP Compromise: Ernie and Bert are transformed into murderous skinheads that kick the crap out of the gays and Thomas the Tank Engine lectures us that slow and old-fashioned is how we want our transportation system
I was thinking that Cookie Monster could become Oil Monster and enjoy a healthy draught of oil each day, and Sarah Palin could come on to hunt and kill Snuffleupagus.
I have some real doubts as to whether they absorbed any lessons from The Count.
as long as nobody defunds scooby doo.
Ruh Roh!
Don't even think that.
Scrappy Do however should have been aborted straightaway.
This episode brought to you by the letter F, the letter U and the number forever. That's our GOP — they run on cutting the deficit and creating jobs, and when they get into office they want to defund educational television, make abortion illegal and give tax cuts to the rich. Fuck the Republicans.
Welcome back to Jingelheimer Junction! Today, we have our pals Fred Friendship, Katie Kindness, Carla Caring, & a new one, Umberto Unity.
Hell, Boehner's actually trying to reduce the federal workforce. Not only has he not created any jobs, he's actively trying to eliminate them.
"the number forever" don't ya mean the number 8 which on its side is the symbol for infinity? What the Rethugs are after School House Rock too?
It's not easy being green.
Who's going to get that frog outta Ms. Piggy's throat if the funding is slashed?!?
The Repubicans won so they get a big voice in those decisions. Next time the Demoncrats shouldn't stay home because Obama didn't end DADT fast enough, or hired the wrong guy for Third Assistant Under-secretary. But Hooray! Cutting NPR will create a million jobs.
Gives screwing the pooch a hole new perspective.
I see what you did there.
They can have my "Teabag Me Elmo" when they pull it off my cold, dead hand!
The only cullture most Rethugs know comes in a petri dish when they get tested for the clap
Excellent observation OC
Maybe the Between the Lions cast can tell me how laying off a quarter of the staff at the DMV creates jobs.
As long as facts have a liberal bias, PBS will be in jeopardy.
Ya know, I love NPR (and PBS) and I also know I have to sacrifice some things I like to help cut the budget but….how about we don't spend fuckloads of money on things that kill…first.
Meanwhile as Gwen Demarco asks "Does the rolling help?"
Me as Jason Nesmith: "Yes, it helps."
Let the private sector
teach kids about covetousness, anthropomorphic behavior, alienation, repressed rage, titillation, imposed fantasy, conspicuous consumerism and upsetting parental authoritysolve the problems!I hope they don't defund NPR/PBS, but fuck Arthur. Ever since Mr. "I like myself and have friends even though I have a big anteater nose and wear glasses" somehow lost his giant anteater nose, he's been as good as dead to me.
Arthur for TV is teh suxxor. Stick with the books, they are brill. Arthur the TV aardvark is basically the equivalent of watching the development of the kid all those "It Gets Better" videos are for, later in life.
If the fuckfaced fools manage to defund PBS, can we move right on to All-Pledge-Drive TV?
we have. it's called "broadcast television" and "basic cable".
the pledge is your car payment.
And lo, your children will ask "Where were you for the great furry wars of '11?"
The money that Boehner spends flying to our nation's greatest golf resorts would fund public broadcasting infinitum.
I heard Clifford is popular among the GOP because of his big red, oh never mind.
And he does well with young boys….
First they came for the antique appraising twins, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't an antique appraising twin.
This may be muppet heresy, but I believe that PBS and NPR would be better off without federal subsidies, and thus federal control. They get the vast majority of their funding from corporations (hence the ads-that-are-not-ads) and subscribers. Elimination of federal funding would allow them to ditch the efforts at neutrality and get to the task of pointing out the hypocrisy of the Right.
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