Violent Sexual Assault Poorly Categorized

by Jack Stuef 2:30 pm February 16, 2011

There are whoops and there are whoops. So is this entertainment show going to be paired with Two and a Half Men? That seems like a good fit. [screenshot courtesy Wonkette operative "Laura M."]

79 comments 1501 Views

{ 79 comments }

donner_froh February 16, 2011 at 2:32 pm

That was from the special TV Squad digital edition prepared for Debbie Schlussel.

chickensmack February 16, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Someone should try finding the podcast of today's Focal Point with Bryan Fischer, because if you think that screengrab looks awful, you should hear what he said between :15 and :30.

He even had the audacity to insert a side comment about how she's a mother of two — though he wasn't certain what her marital status was.

Gopherit February 16, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Okay, I have to ask…..why the hell would you listen to that?

chickensmack February 16, 2011 at 4:03 pm: First, ask Steuf why he twitters with #fischdick

Maman February 16, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Meaning that a good mother would be home rather than galivanting around the globe or that a divorced woman deserves to be raped for foresaking her vows before god?

Lascauxcaveman February 16, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Technically, only if she were wearing high heels and/or a short skirt.

Maman February 16, 2011 at 3:42 pm: That explains how she got separated from her group…. her heel broke. Classic!

OneDollarJuana February 16, 2011 at 3:45 pm

That's Dr. Laura's view. Not always, of course.

walstib February 17, 2011 at 12:10 pm: You owe me a Big Mac.

Redhead February 16, 2011 at 3:27 pm

This from the same guy who would force her (or anyone else), if she god-forbid got pregnant from this, to carry the baby. Making her (drumroll) an unwed mother.

When you are raped and then forced to pop the half-rapist watermelon out, Fischer, then I'll hear your opinion on it.

Lost_Teabaggers February 18, 2011 at 1:23 am

Yes I think we can cover this with a blanket term for all of these sick motherfuckers. What's wrong about this, morally upsetting about it is Lara Logan was the one who got raped and beaten when Brian Fischer, Debbie Schussel et. al. are the ones who really deserved it. I'm just saying that when you take as much sadistic glee (of course Lara Logan is a liberal because she criticized the Iraq Occupation which is to them why it's funny, that's how fucked up these people are) as these people have then to balance the universe they should each be subject to what happened to her so maybe in their diseased little minds they can finally understand why gang rape isn't funny when it happens to anyone let alone someone you disagree with. Sorry, no snark this just offends me on a core principle level; I mean for fucks sake she's a woman and these people blabber about 'traditional values'? When did this kind of thing become "okay" so long as it's someone you don't approve of? I need a fucking drink.

Canmon February 16, 2011 at 2:35 pm

I'm not sure what's worse, this or the attack itself. On second thought, it's probably the rape.

Jason_inthe_Peg February 16, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Perhaps it was categorized by The Wonderstuff.

Who, I wonder, whatever happened to.

Lascauxcaveman February 16, 2011 at 3:14 pm

They never got bigger than the size of a cow, and just sort of withered away, after that.

Jason_inthe_Peg February 16, 2011 at 4:03 pm: I up fist you for that sir.

DoktorZoom February 16, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Spyder Rhodes, one of the DJ's in Tucson, used to call hisself "The Eight-Legged Groove Machine." I got a happy nerd smile when I learned that he'd stolen it from a Wonderstuff album title.

Extemporanus February 16, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Two and a Half Men is categorized as "forcible entertainment".

AngryBlakGuy February 16, 2011 at 2:42 pm

…retinal sodomy?

mrblifil February 16, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Eye rape?

chickensmack February 16, 2011 at 3:45 pm: alt.fuck.the.skull.of.everyone?

V572625694 February 16, 2011 at 4:05 pm

When Lady Gaga does a guest spot on "Two and a Half Men" there'll be such a nexus of self-debasement that the entire universe might get sucked into it. Fear of that happening was what led to the cancellation of "Married with Children."

Lost_Teabaggers February 18, 2011 at 1:28 am: Nahh….she's bad but for all that's holy keep Charlie Sheen away from Amy Winehouse or Lindsey Lohan…seriously, we'll all blink out of existence should, just bang! Universe gone..my only question is if Charlie did hook up with Lohan which one would wake up in the closet, naked and covered in vomit? Could it be so horrible they both would?

I thought Married With Children got cancelled because it sucked…all this time too, well learn something new everyday I always say.

OC_Surf_Serf February 16, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Small aside, I kinda like the notion of the victim being allowed to remove a rapist's little dick with a pair of dull scissors.

Rotundo_ February 16, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Since the Egyptian fellows aren't available for punishment, can we have Laura do this to Bryan Fischer instead? If this is too traumatic I am *sure* we can find plenty of good folks willing to take on the project in her place.

Lost_Teabaggers February 18, 2011 at 1:34 am: Yeah no shit…they could cut Debbie Schussel's little dick off with it….I think actually, if she does work her way through the trauma it could be cathartic for Lara Logan to cut Brian Fischer's probably tiny assed dick off as part of her recovery….hell, it would save a lot of little boys from being raped if she did; that incentive alone might be enough. What's sick is these aren't the only ones on the right being this disgusting…..I wish it were but there's many more of them so unhinged in the media they're justifying what happened to Lara Logan because either A) she as a woman would DARE cover a story that Faux 'toughguys' are too chicken shit to do and B) She did criticize Bush…they've had it in for her off and on for a while, actually. I remember reading a story in which she was really pissed about something awful in Iraq that wasn't being reported by the docile and corrupt corporate media and I shit you not in the comments wingnuts were threatening her with harm like rape…..think about that; me I think it's refreshing to see a beautiful, telegenic woman who's willing to get into grizzled field veteran type of stories instead of finding some posh anchor chair and passing judgment on field reporters. It's just fucking tragic this went and happened to her….

Bonzos_Bed_Time February 16, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Careful Jack, you're going to have to quit your day-job @ NYU if you keep this up.

edgydrifter February 16, 2011 at 2:40 pm

If this had happened in Pittsburgh or Durham, it would have been filed under "sports."

AngryBlakGuy February 16, 2011 at 2:41 pm

…well according to Republican Bobby Franklin that was just heavy petting!

V572625694 February 16, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Kinda makes you want to pet his anus heavily with a wire brush.

AngryBlakGuy February 16, 2011 at 5:25 pm

…he very well may enjoy that, considering the fact that he is a republican!

Lost_Teabaggers February 18, 2011 at 1:39 am: Shit he's probably doing it right now.

PublicLuxury February 16, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Jesus Christ! Entertainment. We really have been moved back to the time of the Pharaohs

Monsieur_Grumpe February 16, 2011 at 2:44 pm

I’m convinced if you overdub a laugh track on anything 7 out of 10 Americans will be entertained.

Chet Kincaid February 16, 2011 at 3:22 pm

That sounds like a famous psychological experiment from 1958. Let's say it was!

DoktorZoom February 16, 2011 at 7:55 pm: I thought it was a band–Stan and the Shockers.

SorosBot February 16, 2011 at 2:44 pm

And you know who else thought violent rape was entertainment? That's right, Caligula.

littlebigdaddy February 16, 2011 at 2:56 pm

And Republicans, at least if it's with a close relative.

AngryBlakGuy February 16, 2011 at 5:33 pm

…Caligula also had an incestuous relationship with his sister, molested little boys, named his horse to the senate and used others suffering as a form of entertainment. I think we may have found the origins of the Republican party!

emmelemm February 16, 2011 at 6:10 pm

So, that should indicate we're but a few short years from the fall of the (Roman-) American empire… Sounds about right.

DoktorZoom February 16, 2011 at 7:56 pm: Fine, just as long as we don't have to see Malcolm McDowell prancing around and making pony noises.

RedneckMuslin February 16, 2011 at 2:48 pm

I was going to write that it was entertainment for the guys and then I decided rape was not funny.

HistoriCat February 16, 2011 at 4:22 pm: Getting punched in the face – funny. Getting sexually assaulted – not funny.

widestanceroman February 16, 2011 at 2:55 pm

It really saddens True Muscular Jesus to see True Biblical Rape maligned this way where children might see it. It is a slippery slope to empathy from there, and what happens after that, well, I don't know, but it's bad, mmK?

CapeClod February 16, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Nice to see Pammie from Atlas Shrugged tossing her moronic two cents in.

nounverb911 February 16, 2011 at 2:57 pm

"Violent Sexual Assault Poorly Categorized"
Maybe so, but it was approved by the South Dakota House of Representatives.

freakishlywrong February 16, 2011 at 2:58 pm

I couldn't help but see the hateful bigot Pammy Geller's comment up there as well. She is really obsessed with hating the muslins. She has Muslin Derangement Syndrome.

SenileAgitation February 16, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Golly Jack, an innocent mistake, news is entertainment, or tries to be. Granted, the horrible story does kind of make this seem… hey! poorly categorized!

Beowoof February 16, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Was that the Fox News, Rush Limbaugh link, as for those douche bags it probably is entertainment. After all Fatass Limbaugh was making fun of reporters being attacked on his chickenshit radio show, while the attacks were in progress. Maybe we should start with cutting off Rush's soft micro dick with a chain saw.

DaRooster February 16, 2011 at 3:41 pm: … at the waist.

metamarcisf February 16, 2011 at 3:00 pm

This was actually true. I tried to find this story last night on CBSNews and I had to guess and click on the entertainment tab because it was nowhere else to be found.

James Michael Curley February 16, 2011 at 3:01 pm

You know for a few minutes there, I thought the whole look and feel of the Wonkette comments had changed and all our carefully chosen avatars had disappeared. But now I see it was only one of those mini strokes they talk about in the rec room after they serve the jello.

waitforsugar February 16, 2011 at 3:32 pm: Did you smell toast?

HolyMaracas February 16, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Fuckin' Ricky Sanscrotum…he was right about Google all along!

Maman February 16, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Strangely, not as funny as a Chuck Lorre vanity card.

mrblifil February 16, 2011 at 3:09 pm

I guess this means she's a go to host the new Survivor spin-off, "Tahrirism."

horsedreamer_1 February 16, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Ever see a little firm called Irreversible?

Lascauxcaveman February 16, 2011 at 3:23 pm: No, but I do know that minor spelling errors are irreversible once someone replies to your comment. : )

Weenus299 February 16, 2011 at 3:15 pm

I know everybody's asking why this didn't happen to Rush. If the fat jobber would ever leave the studio in his basement, maybe.

HistoriCat February 16, 2011 at 4:23 pm: Nobody wants to grope his man boobs.

LionelHutzEsq February 16, 2011 at 3:33 pm

It's funny, but not really "Ha Ha" funny.

mumbly_joe February 16, 2011 at 3:44 pm: Or, in other words, not funny funny.

Texan_Bulldog February 16, 2011 at 3:38 pm

I hear Ann Coulter said journalists should be jailed.; someone should ask her if they should also be raped.

Also, wonder what Snowbilly makes of this — so much cognitive dissonance:

1. she hates the lamestream media but has a 'degree' in journalism (allegedly)
2. she hates the liberal media eelite; but Logan is a fellow woman & mother

Bet we won't hear a peep because 1) Logan works for CBS–home of her arch nemesis Katie Couric & 2) commenting about it won't bring in any $$.

Terry February 16, 2011 at 3:41 pm

About the Snowbilly's journalism degree, shouldn't she have worked at a student newspaper at one of those five or so colleges she attended? You'd think that if she had, there would be a few of her articles floating around cyberspace. Can you get a degree in journalism without actually writing?

elviouslyqueer February 16, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Can you get a degree in journalism without actually writing?

Apparently, that would be "yes." According to her newspaper nemesis, the Anchorage Daily News…

Despite her journalism degree, she does not appear to have worked for the college newspaper or campus television station, school officials said. She worked briefly as a sportscaster for KTUU in Anchorage after she graduated college.

Radiotherapy February 16, 2011 at 3:58 pm: She quit that job too.
V572625694 February 16, 2011 at 4:03 pm: "graduated college" — that expression is its own sort of awful. Probably an underground plume of Palin pollution that erupted in the ADN newsroom.

Papa_Uniform February 16, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Of course you can. And it's only slightly harder to be a journalist without actually writing.

LionelHutzEsq February 16, 2011 at 4:03 pm: But it is easier to be Sarah Palin when everything is written for you. Also.

GOPCrusher February 16, 2011 at 4:02 pm

I have to believe that Bible Spice is working on a well-thought out speech on how this affects her.

Come here a minute February 16, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Would have been funnier with a misplaced apostrophe.

HolyMaracas February 16, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Has TMZ posted the "raw video" yet?

fuflans February 16, 2011 at 4:14 pm

god that poor woman. a horrid crime in a horrid age …

MinAgain February 16, 2011 at 4:29 pm

The mind boggles.

policonoclast February 16, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Do we know she was raped? The idea of being gang raped in a crowd is horrid. Most of us have concluded that from a rather opaque (and so slightly salacious) description, but "sexual assault" is such a broad category that she could have just been smacked around and groped a bunch. If she was raped, just tell us. The problem with the lack of information is that it allows folks to go down the Jessica Lynch route.

prommie February 16, 2011 at 4:41 pm