industrial accidents

President Obama Accidentally Washed Down Giant Drain

My Bucket's Got A Hole In It, I can't buy no beer.It’s not easy being the president during a sustained industrial/economic collapse! But Barack Obama bravely went to Willy Wonka’s munitions factory somewhere in Ohio or someplace, and then Barack Obama did a bad thing and tried the Every Flavor Dinner Gum, which includes “fried fat curds,” which are against Michelle Obama’s rules, so the crazy Koch Brother who thinks he’s Willy Wonka activated the Wingnuttia Brigade of slave-dwarves and poor Barry went down, down the drain.

Here’s the picture as it appears on the White House Flickr site, with the president shrunken down to the size of a Cheerio:

Drain You.And if you care, here’s the official U.S. Government photo caption, which almost makes as much sense as our own caption:

President Barack Obama looks inside a hydrogen cooled generator while touring the General Electric plant in Schenectady, N.Y., with GE CEO Jeff Immelt and plant manager Kevin Sharkey, right, Jan. 21, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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82 comments

    1. Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

      "Do you expect me to talk, Taitz."

      "No, Mr. president, I expect you to provide a long-form birth certificate."

      [zaps her with tazer disguised as flag lapel pin, knocking her into inexplicable vat of molten metal]

      "Looks like you need a long-form death certificate."

      [cue theme song, trippy credit sequence for "You Only Preside Twice"]

      1. deelzebub

        This movie needs to be made. I volunteer to be one of the tastefully nude and not at all strippery girls dancing in silouette during the theme song.

  1. noodlesalad

    I can't help but think Sarah Veruca Salt Palin, and her "biggest" fan Augustus Rush Gloop, had something to do with this.

    1. Numbat_Dundee

      Mmmmm….Flashbacks to reading The Female Eunuch as as 16 year old male virgin. I got the point that the clitoris was a very important thing, but Germaine didn't provide any handy diagrams (admittedly 16 year old male virgins weren't exactly the readership she had in mind).
      So I had to construct my own mental map of the female genitalia, as fanciful as the mediaeval maps of the world. Imagine this picture as a vagina with a sort of big rubber inner tube ready to contract and grab a penis, then wreak its viscious and delightful will on said organ. That's how it was constructed in the blank page of my hormone fuelled adolescent imagination. Said clitoris/pleasure giving inner tube was, btw, located in my imagination sort of where Barry's looking in the picture – and given he's close to an exact contemporary of mine (I was born in September 1961) with a feminist mother, maybe that's what he's imagining.
      And the question, then, is whether his lovely spouse had the good sense of one of my early girlfriends who enlightenened me by grabbing my index finger and placing it on the real thing and saying loudly and confidently: "This is it."

      1. Fuck Toad

        I sort of imagine Barry boned (or at least finger banged, Kenyan style) at least one other lady before marrying FLOTUS.

      2. Negropolis

        Imagine this picture as a vagina with a sort of big rubber inner tube ready to contract and grab a penis, then wreak its viscious and delightful will on said organ.

        In the words of Paris Hilton: That's hot.

  2. Crank_Tango

    If that is some kind of gun, you can be sure he is only checking it out so he can figure out how to take it away.

  3. chascates

    The same GE that's sponsoring the Reagan Centennial celebration? I smell a rat. A hydrogen-cooled rat.

    1. Sparky_McGruff

      Sure, Gaga's song is dropping soon, but I'm pretty sure it's just a rip-off of Madonna's "Combined Cycle Natural Gas Turbine Generator"

  4. Rambone

    Looks to me like it's the GOP's collective anal sphincter and that the prez is doing a proctological exam to determine exactly which stick is currently shoved up there . . .

  5. OkieDokieDog

    I wonder if GE CEO Jeffy told the Pres that it will only cost $1.82 to make that with illegal alien child labor, and he will deserve to get a big assed bonus of a bazillion dollars. Woohoo!

  6. Crank_Tango

    meh, my car is cooled with a hydrogen-oxygen compound, and I can even drink the fucking shit. cuz i am too cheap to put in antifreeze.

  7. keepem_sikanpor

    Well technically, and corroborated by Mr. Rogers, our President can't go down the drain.
    Good to know.
    I'm sobbing now, inside.

    was meant to be a reply to Extemp's post. Sorry.

    1. Extemporanus

      That's okay.

      In light of the hate fisting my Mr. Rogers comment initially received, I probably should've followed my instincts and just gone with a goatse crack instead.

      1. keepem_sikanpor

        I've been hate fisted so hard tonight I feel like a raped and pregnant woman in SD who needs to make a decision yesterday.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          Or, like Lara Logan in Tahrir Square.

          Too soon..?

          (Caught the story on TPM. Not a good scene. But good on the Egyptian army & various other women for extricating the correspondent.)

  8. Worthly Wokette Skum

    Obama: We need House Republicans' ideas on deficit reduction in the same way that the engineers here need House Republicans' ideas on thermocouple emission spectra.

  9. Troubledog

    It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand, those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

  10. nounverb911

    "But Barack Obama bravely went to Willy Wonka’s munitions factory somewhere in Ohio or someplace"
    Actually thats the secret Boehner suntan factory.

  11. i_like_tigers

    I finish the Arkansas bar next week, and then I am headed back to D.C. for interviews. My humble services are extended to all meaningful opportunities. The snark is my resume and the irony of posting this here, which both evince I am adequately prepared for… something iffy.

      1. i_like_tigers

        I had some damn response written about how I wasn't old enough to get that, but now I am distracted. My buddy wrote the brief that just paved the way for same sex couple adoptions in Arkansas. It'll be in the Arkansas Democrat Gazette tomorrow. He's a Republican and on the social side – to boot. Also, I have interviews lined up in D.C. but NOT from Wonkette. Don't make me work for Agent Orange (Boehner) ((JK))

        1. 102415

          You are never too young for Bob and Ray.
          That's the interesting thing about Republicans they are trained from birth to do anything you tell them to do. Even if it's confusing.

    1. problemwithcaring

      This comment makes the next 3 comments after yours even more hilarious. Thought I would point that out.

  12. DrunkIrishman

    It's an intra-universe wormhole. Obama is summoning Marx, Lenin and Engels to fulfill his dream of a Communist utopia.

    At least that's what Glenn Beck told me.

  13. Jukesgrrl

    Forget Willie Wonka. That guy cheated on his wife who had a stroke.

    It's a Dr. Seuss book:
    "O bam! a. Down the drain-o. Whoops! And I m-m-m-melt."

    I think the title is The Adventures of Tea Baggins and the Alzheimers Guy.

  14. Come here a minute

    In this photo, the GE CEO looks like a ginger, which can only mean he's part of the Oompa Loompa squad that will 'clean up' after President Obama's unfortunate problem with ballooning after chewing the Three-Course-Meal Gum. Or buy him a Lard Rover personal mobility scooter.

  15. Terry

    I'm really conflicted right now. A chick-fil-a sandwich is simple good taste, but the company is owned by the Koch Brothers. Must I resist temptation? But it's a fried chicken sandwich…..

    1. sati_demise

      Are you SURE it is "chicken"?

      Because a lot of things taste like chicken.
      It comes with a side of steroids and antibiotic resistant bacteria, that much is a known fact.

  16. mumbly_joe

    Wait, I remember this story!

    But Barack Obama bravely went to Willy Wonka’s munitions factory somewhere in Ohio or someplace, and then Barack Obama did a bad thing and tried the Every Flavor Dinner Gum, which includes “fried fat curds,” which are against Michelle Obama’s rules, so the crazy Koch Brother who thinks he’s Willy Wonka activated the Wingnuttia Brigade of slave-dwarves and poor Barry went down, down the drain.

    …thus proving that Barack Obama was morally weak and didn't deserve to inherit the munitions factory, after all.

  17. weejee

    How things have changed. Used to be that the really cool hydrogen got to play with the zeppelins. But the spark went out on that with the Hindenburg and we all know where that led. Maybe the alt-text should be 'wanna whole lotta love.'

    ♪♫ You need coolin', baby, I'm not foolin',
    I'm gonna send you back to schoolin', ♫♪

  18. SorosBot

    So he's opened the hatch; well at the end of the tunnel is a compound where a guy has been forced to enter the numbers 4 8 15 16 23 42 onto an old-time green screen computer every 108 minutes to prevent the end of the world.

  19. horsedreamer_1

    Meanwhile, outside, the Secret Service battled the BATF, who were attempting to close down this unlicenced rave.

    Where're the glow-sticks, Obama?

  20. SenileAgitation

    But– but– Immelt works for Obama, don't he? Maybe this is a picture of the interview where they threatened to throw B'rer 'Bama down the well?

Comments are closed.