Eight Years of Win.How many people have been blown up and shot and otherwise violently killed in the American invasion and eight-year U.S. occupation of Iraq, so far? We know the exact numbers of U.S. military dead and injured (4,436 dead and 32,009 wounded) and have a vague idea of “reported Iraqi deaths” (between 100,000 and 109,000), and then there were who knows how many dead from the illness and malnutrition that comes from having an entire country’s infrastructure destroyed — water lines, health clinics, vaccines and common medicines, grocery stores, produce markets, dairies, etc. A lot of military contractors died, too. But they were in it for the Big Money, so nobody really counts them. Also, America’s “reputation and standing” were destroyed, forever, and just like the British after the Suez Canal debacle, the world will never pay attention to the U.S. government again. We are done, finished, an international joke, 309 million slobs trying to shoplift flatscreens with our Personal Mobility Scooters before the batteries run out. So, the Iraq Invasion/Occupation was good for something, right? Also, the Iraqi defector who gave the United States all that “intelligence” about Saddam’s Weapons of Mass Destruction and all that? He just made it all up, because he wanted America to topple Saddam. It worked! Tell whatever lies you want for whatever ends you desire. That is the lesson.

This doesn’t seem to be getting a lot of play in the U.S. press today, does it? The Guardian reports:

The defector who convinced the White House that Iraq had a secret biological weapons programme has admitted for the first time that he lied about his story, then watched in shock as it was used to justify the war.

Rafid Ahmed Alwan al-Janabi, codenamed Curveball by German and American intelligence officials who dealt with his claims, has told the Guardian that he fabricated tales of mobile bioweapons trucks and clandestine factories in an attempt to bring down the Saddam Hussein regime, from which he had fled in 1995.

“Maybe I was right, maybe I was not right,” he said. “They gave me this chance. I had the chance to fabricate something to topple the regime. I and my sons are proud of that and we are proud that we were the reason to give Iraq the margin of democracy.”

Haha, sure, you did great! Be proud. You easily tricked the former “superpower of the world” into a disastrous, eight-year nation-bankrupting nightmare fuckaround that resulted in the awful, violent, pointless death of at least a hundred thousand people. And you took down two countries in the process. Bravo, etc.

Remember that video from the White House Correspondents Dinner, of George W. Bush Junior comically looking around the White House for the make-believe WMDs he invaded Iraq to find, as a joke? We should watch that video, so everybody can laugh again. [Guardian]

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  • MittsHairHelmet

    "Tell whatever lies you what for whatever ends you desire. That is the lesson."

    This is the truth, in America.

  • Gorillionaire

    Weird how the CIA, FBI and all the other BFDs just went with whatever this jerk said. Meanwhile, a regular poor working slob with no intel or foreign policy experience (me) knew the whole time that the whole story was shit. Weird huh.

    • MaxUdargo

      Isn't it?

      And isn't it weird how this guy not only lied about mobile bioweapons trucks but also provided Colin Powell with satellite photos of those trucks so Powell could show them to the UN while making his case for an invasion?

      You'd almost think Curveball was only one piece in an elaborate, concerted effort to build a bullshit case for war.

      But you'd be wrong. Curveball is a big ol' jerk and he duped our poor, trusting, good-hearted government into believing things that were not true at all. And all George W. Bush and all his friends at PNAC wanted was to live in peace and harmony and this stupid poopy-head screwed it all up.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Single bullet theory seems to keep popping up in various forms, no?

      • baconzgood

        A well reasoned argument Max. Concise with a tinge of sarcasm and it utilizes the term "poopy-head". Kudos to you.

    • Steverino247

      I have intel experience and I knew the whole story was shit. Unfortunately, I no longer had "access" so who was I?

      • BerkeleyBear

        From what I've read, no one who would say that there was no causus belli in Iraq or that Gitmo/torture was a bad idea had access to Bush, and only got access to Dick or Rumsfeld when those guys wanted a laugh.

      • hooray4anything

        I sat in pajamas and read and watched stories about the intel from my apartment and I knew the whole story was shit.

      • comrad_darkness

        I had no access, ever, and still knew the story was shit. The whole sham was easy to spot since I've read the story of Oedipus.

    • doloras

      Remember that whole "reality-based community" nonsense? The Bushies really believed that the truth didn't matter. All that mattered was making a PR case for what they wanted to do anyway.

      • Sue4466

        And for a large enough segment of society–citizens, the media, and other politicians–they were right about the truth not mattering. Who cares about facts when we're about to get our war on?

        Besides, facts have a well known liberal bias.

      • So far they have been proven correct in their assumptions, poop blogs and free pron sites notwithstanding.

    • sati_demise

      Why didnt I ever see a newscast or article stating "Curveball said there were WMD" "Curveball said there were mobil labs" "Curveball said we should bomb the shit out of Saddam H." I mean, if you cant trust someone like that who can you trust? I remember listening to Scott Ritter, he never got to talk to Curveball.

    • ohgrateone

      A lot of us knew! See my comments of a few minutes ago….

    • lulzmonger

      Which is why you'll never get one of those sweet gigs at the CIA/FBI/NSA/PDQ/LOL snooper-palaces.

      In spycraft, bullshit is a vitamin.

  • bflrtsplk

    Ha!Ha!Ha! That's so funny I forgot where I put my codpiece.

    • MrFizzy

      Hang on, I was going to say that! Nyuk Nyuk!

  • Serolf_Divad

    I don't know who to despise more: the guy who lied about Iraqi WMDs, or the guys who took the lie and ran with it, knowing it was a lie. And I don't for a second believe they didin't know. There were so many other lies used to justify this war: from aluminum tubes that could only be meant for Uranium processing –but experts told us were the wrong dimesions for that job– to obviously faked orders for Yellowcake from Niger. This was just one more lie piled on top of all the others.

    • Come here a minute

      A cetrifuge is not a series of tubes. It is a truck.

    • Terry

      I'm blaming Bush et al more than Curveball. The Bushies were looking for a reason, any reason, and Curveball was the idiot who happened to be there. There were ways to check his story, but it didn't suit the Bushies' needs to do that in more than a barely superficial need. Curveball is a liar. The Bushies are amoral Goddamn bastards.

      • GOPCrusher

        Curveball only gave the Bushyt Cabal the excuse they were looking for. And when the intel was proven to be false, plausible deniability.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Definitely the runners. And the media who collectively rolled over and took it. And the people (myself included) who didn't want to believe our government would go to war just to work out W's daddy issues.

      • bflrtsplk

        And let's not forget the Bushies favorite poodle, Taonee Blaiah! Woof! Woof!

    • chuckles9684

      George Bush and his senior officials (Vice President on down) were in on the lie. They had their own reasons for wanting to go to Iraq none of which were compelling enough for war. So they went with the lie. They are war criminals and I am ashamed that we elected them to office for a second term after what they did. They should be tried just like they tried and convicted Sadaam Hussein.

  • savethispatient

    It's almost like "Curveball" threw the government a… slider? Something like that.

    • A spitball.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …speed ball?

        • Urban_Achiever


          • bflrtsplk

            I hate when the ump calls the Curveball a strike even when it misses the black part of the plate because I had a fling with his wife before he met her and all she keeps talkin' 'bout is Me!Me!Me!

    • Serolf_Divad

      Except the government wasn't the batter. The government was the catcher, subtly telling the pitcher what balls to throw. The batter was us, the duped public.

      • genxr

        And the catcher got the batter to jump up and down shouting USA! USA! USA! While the curve balls went whizzing past.

      • Come here a minute

        The infield was Europe and the outfield was the tiny countries in the Coalition of the Willing. France was selling peanuts and Cracker Jack.

        • zhubajie

          France, at least, was not buying the Gog/Magog excuse.

      • jus_wonderin

        I was off getting a hotdog. Did I miss anything??

      • Except the catcher, Cheney, called for the douche, not the deuce (aka curveball).

    • FNMA

      It's a new pitch — the middle finger curveball.

  • SorosBot

    "Maybe I was right, maybe I was not right"

    No maybe about; you were not right. But hey, you get to be proud that hundreds of thousands of people have needlessly died! Well fuck you too.

  • yyyaz

    If Curveball didn't exist, Cheney, et al, would have had to invent him.

    • Actually they did.

    • ttommyunger

      What Harry said.

      • Dashboard_Jesus


      • Dashboard_Jesus


  • nounverb911

    Now we are stuck forever with Bush Cheney Rumsfeld Rice and company as they will never take a foreign vacation again.

    • MarshallBanana

      It doesn't matter. They have so much money and power, they just fly a chunk of the country (after careful screening for "unsavory" elements) to them. They don't live in fear, because they have more bodyguards and houses to their names than we have television channels. They obviously don't suffer any kind of deep-seated regret or guilt. And I can't bring myself to believe there's some sort of eternal punishment awaiting them after death, as much as I wish I could.

      I'm beyond believing that these people have faced or will face any repercussions for the utter devastation they wreaked upon the world in general. They got away with it, and they and others of their kind will continue to get away with it, and nobody but the innocent will be punished for it, ever.

  • Haha, sure, you did great! Be proud. You easily tricked the former “superpower of the world” into a disastrous, eight-year nation-bankrupting nightmare fuckaround that resulted in the awful, violent, pointless death of at least a hundred thousand people. And you took down two countries in the process. Bravo, etc.

    Meanwhile, the neoconmen who used this pretext for war on Iraq (and if they didn't have Curveball, they would have used someone/something else), all have jobs at the Washington Post, or elsewhere in our corporate media.

    That is, the ones who aren't still working for President Barry's CIA./Pentagon/etc.

    • SmutBoffin

      Well, at least some weapons manufacturers made some money!

      • jus_wonderin

        Yeah, but where is my $1000 toilet seat!!!

      • FNMA

        And what's good for Halliburton is good for America. Milo Minderbender too.

    • comrad_darkness

      Çe la plus change, Çe la never change.

      Or something.

  • Extemporanus

    I have no doubt that all of this will be addressed and properly dealt with when the President's meet in The Hague some time next never.

    • chickensmack

      I have no doubt that you're totally right. Unless Bush moves into a cul-de-sac on The Hague Street.

    • I agree, but it might take more time than that.

  • jmarsh04

    As long as we don't apologize for anything we did, then we're still A.O.K.

    If there's one thing I've learned from listening to AM radio, it's saying sorry is for pussies. Unless you're Ted Haggard.

  • Kidneys4Sale

    What's the over/under on how much Halliburton stock Dick Cheney gave this guy for X-Mas 2002?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Nobody's gonna take that bet — you don't reward foreign spies — you use them and throw them away.

  • whiterabid

    Judging by the people who work for Fox News, if you tell the biggest lies and hate the right people, boy, you're going to go far in this country.

  • chascates

    And we can always try giving 'the margin of democracy' to North Korea, Iran, Syria, and a few others who aren't anti-Islamist/anti-Communist/anti-oil.

    How about bringing democracy to America, for realz?

  • Serolf_Divad

    Rafid Ahmed Alwan al-Janabi, codenamed Curveball by German and American intelligence officials who dealt with his claims, has told the Guardian that he fabricated tales of mobile bioweapons trucks and clandestine factories in an attempt to bring down the Saddam Hussein regime, from which he had fled in 1995.

    Read it and weep, fellahs… the guy fled Iraq in 1995 and yet we invaded in 2003 based on intelligence he gave us of then current WMD activities?

    What a bunch of horseshit!

    • OneDollarJuana

      We invaded on the basis that George Jr.s weenie was feeling small and the defense contractors were pressuring him for more profits. And when we watched him strut on the deck of the carrier in his jumpsuit, it was apparent that he had solved both problems.

  • Callyson

    The defector who convinced the White House that Iraq had a secret biological weapons programme has admitted for the first time that he lied about his story, then watched in shock as it was used to justify the war.
    Hence, the term "shock and awe."
    Seriously, I would not mind seeing this guy behind bars–there must be *some* crime involved when someone's lies cause a war, right? What? Oh dear…
    OK, then I'll settle for this story displacing those insipid op – eds giving W credit for the Egyptian and Tunisian revolutions…

  • SmutBoffin

    Haha, then a buncha people went out in the streets with signs saying "Bush lied, people died" and carried big puppets or whatever and did their best to try and reassure the rest of the world we weren't all stupid, aggressive neo-imperialists and then those people were harassed and arrested and called vile names by 'professional' journalists on the TV.

    It's all coming back to me…

    • SorosBot

      Those people all just hated America and were a bunch of smelly hippies.

      Now back to burning Dixie Chicks CDs.

      • horsedreamer_1

        While I would like to warm my cockles with Natalie Maines.

        So hot.

    • baconzgood

      Hey, hey, hey, woah there Smutboff. Even though the protesters were right in thier point of view I won't have you question what The Leader told us. If he tells somthing it's our duty as patriotic Amera-minions to believe that lie. "Remember 9-11" is all that needs to be said and you HAVE to believe it. Here I'll show you.

      "Remember 9-11, I loved that sweater that my mom gave me for my birthday."


      • jus_wonderin

        "Remember 9-11, This won't hurt a bit."


        "Remember 9-11, I love it when I bend over to get something from the lower cabinet and you have opened the upper cabinet. I just love that."

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …WoW, he made it all the way step 9 that fast?!

  • V572625694

    Glad you got the scooter and flat-screen references in there, Ken. But don't omit this other sure indicator of our unstoppable decline into decadence and irrelevance as we bankrupt ourselves guzzling imported fuel and choke on carbon monoxide.

    • zhubajie

      Looking forward to the Rapture to solve all our problems, too. If only Jebus would take the opportunities we offer!

  • Q. What do Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and Baghdad have in common?
    A. Nothing, yet.

  • PublicLuxury

    Why is ever body picking on our greatest preznit since raygun? Bush did the right thing by killin' those browns. 'Merica hate mooozlumz. "Merica hate brownz. 'Merica waz right in takin' the first blood. Somes you jis gotta takein' a stan'.

    • jus_wonderin

      Han shot first.

  • PublicLuxury

    You Hooo Spain.
    They're over there. Go get them PLEASE

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …isn't this where Ashton Kutcher jumps out?!

    • SmutBoffin

      DAMMIT! I accidentally the down fist!


      • twaingirl

        i upfisted for you! i noticed that our troll (trolls?) has already gone through and downfisted others, too. but i guess a diet of corn syrup makes one unable to do much except downfist.

        • OneDollarJuana

          Or pumpfist. fap fap fap

      • chickensmack

        I don't get the reference, but I up-fisted to countermand your uckupfay.

        • AngryBlakGuy

          …Ashton Kutcher the former host of "Punk't"

  • baconzgood

    This is not one of those "Ooops. Better late than never" type things.

    • V572625694

      Confession is good for the soul. Unless you're dead.

  • genxr

    "I and my sons are proud of that and we are proud that we were the reason to give Iraq the margin of democracy,” said the newest employee of Fox News.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Pooor Chimpster. All hunkered down in his Texas bunker, with Cindy Sheehan and the swelling discontent about the Iraq war to deal with. How much fun could that have been? A guy just wants to kick back, ride bikes with Lance Armstrong and barbecue. It's no wonder he had to keep taking vacations from his vacations.

  • DemmeFatale

    Oh, Ken.
    Wonkette is laughing on the outside, but crying on the inside.
    Even though I sorta knew this all along, it is heartbreaking anyway.

    • chickensmack

      I was through crying when I realized that an American PR company, Hill & Knowlton, helped foster a lie that began America's emotional foment into the first Persian Gulf War.

  • AlaskaGrrl

    You start a war with the lies you have, not the lies you want.

    I notice from the Guardian story, that ol' Curveball hasen't rushed back to enjoy all that democracy he had a hand in creating there in Iraq. Like Cheney, he has "other priorities"? But maybe he's just waiting for his grateful countrymen to organize the parade.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Weeeell, that's a thing we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know about water.

    • baconzgood

      Big fist up.

    • OneDollarJuana

      It sounds funny, but Rumsfeld's statement actually makes sense. If you think about it, there are things you should know but don't know that you should know. For instance, before microbes were discovered, surgeons never knew that they should be cleaner to prevent infection and didn't know that they didn't know that they should be cleaner. An unknown unknown.

      Now, Rummy's statement that we knew there were WMD North, South, East, and West of Baghdad was just silly. They had to be at least one of those places, if they existed.

      • DangerHelvetica

        The WMD to the north were in Russia, to the south (ish) in India, to the west in Israel and the east in China.

  • Is this dude proud enough to be charged with crimes against humanity?

  • Jukesgrrl

    He made it up. But did he make it up and put it on a Facebook page? If not, GTFO. Too old school.

  • SorosBot

    How'd it get wet huh?? Nobody knows that!!

    • baconzgood

      You too.

  • hagajim

    That my friends is what you get when you put a bunch of total morons in charge. It also helps that W wanted to kick Saddam's ass and was just looking for any excuse he could find so he could mount up and be a fucking cowboy. IDIOTS!

    • MrFizzy

      Trubble is, the ones who were in charge warnt morons, just soul-less = Colin Powell.

  • "US America, you can't spend your whole life worrying about OUR mistakes! You fucked up… you voted for us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help."
    -G W "Otter" Bush

  • x111e7thst

    I am not sure Commander Codpiece was ever interested enough to distinguish fact from fiction or to care. No doubt this was part of the reason he was picked for the role.

    • HempDogbane

      Waiting for the Elliot Abrams deathbed confession. Preferably next week.

    • comrad_darkness

      Reagan played a role.
      Bush just did a job.

  • twaingirl

    I wonder if Jesus would say the same thing about Christianity.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Well, the good news is that now that the New Caliphate is set up in Cairo, it turns out that FOX News and the Bush Administration was right all along.

    So, clearly, the only way to handle this is to bomb Iran.

  • Rummy was interviewed in last Sunday's NYT magazine and asked what he thought about going to war in Iraq on faulty premises. His response was, basically, "LOL WUT", complete with laughing pear graphic.

    Meanwhile, there are still wingnuts who are positive that the Iraq indeed had WMD's. These are the types who fap to Drudge and came boatloads over their monitors when Drudge ran a quadruple-siren story that WMDS FOUND!! after some troops found a couple of rusty rockets in the sand left over from the Iran-Iraq War.

  • MinAgain

    Macchiavelli would be proud.

    • PristineODummy

      Machiavelli would be totally teh FacePalm. He was canny, not brazenly stupid. Or is it stupidly brazen?

      • horsedreamer_1

        Machiavelli was a brilliant satirist.

  • Crank_Tango

    "Heckuva job Brownie, Mission Accomplished! Now watch this drive."

  • SorosBot

    I do want to thank our media for the great job they did in the run-up to the Iraq war, doing everything they could to investigate the Administration's claims that there were WMD in Iraq and its' sources instead of just belittling anyone who questioned the pro-war narrative.

    It's too bad that the misinformation was so thoroughly well prepared they were all fooled, despite how conscientious they were to find out what was really going on, instead of just engaging in knee-jerk propagandistic war-mongering "patriotism".

    • dizzeeboy

      C'mon,media were fooled? If not complicit (hello J. Miller!), they were cowed and bullied into silence. I remember seeing a billboard outside Boston in mid-September, 2001 that showed just a flag and the words: "Unity: It's what makes our country great," and I thought "Oh shit, here we go . . ."

    • chickensmack

      Colin God Damn Powell.

    • greenloner

      Well, we all know what happened to Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame when Joe tried to correct the yellowcake lie by writing a story for the NYT. Cheney (Rove too, of course) is not at all squeamish about using foul means when fair inducements fail to work. In fact that's how they got Junior put in place for their Gotterdammerung reenactment. It wasn't healthy to be a whistleblower in Cheney's Washington.

  • widestanceroman

    In all things americana, does lying replace Mom, apple pie or Chevrolet? Or do we just add lying to the list? I think we should replace one of them, since 3 things are like a 3-legged stool, which is what our founding fathers had in mind when they invented this country where everyone is equal all the time, except for those who aren't for at least an election cycle or two.

  • neiltheblaze

    Yeah – I bet he was shocked. I bet he was shocked when all the checks cleared too.

  • Oldskool_

    He went with his gut and that was good enough for the Shrubsters. Scott Ritter knew what he was talking about so they ignored him. Elitist reality dweller.

  • sezme

    Way to ruin a beautiful, honourable, patriotic idea like war forever, asshole.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      nice Ganesha avatar, remover of all obstacles!

  • ttommyunger

    When asked if, knowing this, he would still have invaded Iraq, Dubya responded: "Fuck Yeah!"

  • Who says fables are dead. If not for the awful human toll and the incredible cost of the Iraqi war, it would make a nice tale to tell kids about the dangers of lying and making shit up.

    "The Defector who cried WMD and idiots who believed him"

    • SorosBot

      Except that the lying liars responsible are all doing just fine.

    • PristineODummy

      Except not ONE of those guys got et by a wolf, not ONE. So the takeaway lesson for teh kiddiez is, lie and make shit up, because you could get huge paychecks and a nice house far away from the wars you started, plus ELEBENTY!!! And, you don't get et by a wolf.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Thanks for sharing that video, it really brought a smile to my face. It was great when we had a president who could laugh at his mistakes.

  • EdFlintstone

    May I add a big fuck you to the media. While you were swallowing the Bush administration's lies, the first time I heard of a untrustworthy informant with the code name curveball(who the germans told us not to trust) was on the Daily Show. And that was a couple of years ago. Thanks for failing us yet again.

    • gvvt

      But they wouldn't get to go to the special briefings and lunches with really important people or ride on the neat press planes if they didn't stuff their noses so far up Washington's collective ass that they could see sunshine again…
      They're reporters – they report what people said. You decided…
      They are despicable.

    • lulzmonger



  • CapeClod

    Given the fact that we've been there for 8 years and never found any evidence that the lies this guy told had any basis in fact, I for one am not particularly overwhelmed by his confession.

  • keepem_sikanpor

    "I tell you something when I hear anybody – not just in Iraq but in any war – [is] killed, I am very sad. But give me another solution. Can you give me another solution? ~Al Janabi.
    I say kittens. Kittens would have been a great alternative you bastard.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Is this really a story? Hell, however long the article is, it won't do the real story justice. You can find most of it in Curveball by Bob Drogin, an awesome book from which several recollections spring to mind:

    — US intelligence officers never spoke to Curveball. He was interviewed by West German intelligence, and the translated reports (from Arabic to German) were given to DIA agents who translated them into English. Sometimes the end results were wildly different from the original Arabic.

    • gvvt

      What – they were accidentally the truth?

  • SayItWithWookies


    — Curveball claimed he had a graduate degree in chemical engineering and worked on the WMD sites he spoke about. When intel officers finally got to Baghdad and spoke to his family and neighbors, they were like "Oh him — yeah, he's a cabbie and knows these parts pretty well. Only problem is, he tells crazy stories all the time. Huuuuge fabricator. Entertaining, though."

    — Curveballs general descriptions of warehouses and various features of Baghdad were enough to match satellite photos — but some of the essential chemical weapons facilities weren't there. For instance, one warehouse was supposed to have a huge retractable wall so trucks could back up to it and load/unload stuff without being seen from the air. The warehouse was there, but the wall was quite permanent.

    Anyway, it's a great book — highly recommended.

    • I guess it's a story because the actual fake informant is now giving video interviews to British newspapers, admitting the entire, intentional deception. I wonder if Curveball tried to tell his foul story in the U.S. and got the old, "Eh, needs more Grammys."

      • SayItWithWookies

        He's doing better than I expected — I figured he'd've gotten David Kellyd by now. But he's still bullshitting — I don't think it was his hatred of Saddam so much as knowledge that he'd be more likely to get asylum that prompted him to make up all that stuff.

      • Hopefully Bill Maher's people are making the call to get him on the show. He's certainly ready for cable.

    • FNMA

      I'd rather read something less depressing, like The Road or something like that.

      • SayItWithWookies

        It does have its humor, especially at the end. One of the CIA officers working on WMD intel is a fervent Christian and adamant neocon and actually buys all Dubya's shit about Iraq. He has some kind of meltdown after he pulls some strings to get detailed to confirming Curveball's story and wanders around Baghdad feeling sick to his stomach and crying. So there's that.

    • EdFlintstone

      Well cabbie and a chemical engineer both start with "C", so it was close.

  • Gopherit

    Really, when you give someone the code name "Curveball" should it come as a surprise to anyone that he is only a factory of bullshit?

  • Pfiddles! The war against the muslims was bound to recommence. They've been itching for a fight since we routed Suliman's army in Malta.

  • Steverino247

    You know, it's not just the regular citizens who were lied to. The troops who invaded and followed up the invasion were also told this lie. My younger son was told they would find the WMD's and I told him he was being bullshitted by liars. There was no intelligence failure. There was a criminal conspiracy to commit a war of aggression.

    Lying to your citizens is bad, but expected occasionally of politicians. However, lying to the troops you sent to look for shit you knew damned well didn't exist is worthy of being hung at Ft. Leavenworth. Fuck taking them to the Hague. String them up here.

    • gvvt

      The foul inhuman cynicism of those shits is staggering. And people still take them seriously and want to convince us that they were great American patriots and deeply noble servants of freedom. How mind-fuckedly screwed up does one have to be to need that kind of delusional certainty?

    • greenloner

      An excellent idea!

  • MistaEko

    How exactly is one shocked when one speaks to foreign intelligence agencies who have been on the Teevee for eight months about wanting to bomb the place you're talking about and then actually do bomb the place you're talking about? That's like….no there is no funny humorous analogy to make it more extreme. Fuck you gently with a chainsaw.

  • metamarcisf

    For further entertainment, please see "The Green Zone", with Matt Damon and the slimey Rumsfeld-esque Greg Kinnear.

  • chickensmack

    Bush 41 had Nayirah al-Ṣabaḥ.

    Bush 43 had Rafid Ahmed Alwan.

    To reiterate the time-honored slogan of yesteryear, "Nobody died when Clinton lied."

    • gvvt

      The Bush Family: America, meet your worst enemy.

  • GeneralLerong

    Contemplating the segment of our population who actually voted for Chimpy the frat boy, it's difficult not to feel we're hip deep in dogshit with nowhere to run.

    Fortunately, there's Wonkette, so I don't feel so alone. You can't see me waving, of course, surrounded as I am by pooping malemutes and tards on ATVs.

  • mereoblivion

    Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori. Says so right there by the entrance to the amphitheater at Arlington Cemetery, y'all. But not even Horace was full of enough shit to say it's sweet and beautiful to die for some other fuckhead's country.

  • zappadoo76

    Lest we forget: the US knew this guy was lying at the time.

    'The former chief of European operations at the CIA, Tyler Drumheller, said in 2007 he tried repeatedly to warn his superiors that Curveball's information was dubious — even by specifically attempting to redact all mentions of Curveball's information in Powell's 2003 speech. "We said, 'This is from Curveball. Don't use this,'" Drumheller said.'

    But our great Jamaican military obersturmbahnfuhrer, Colin Powell, went ahead and used the "information" anyway, in front of the UN, God and everybody.

  • Sue4466

    Or ever been in junior high school.

  • Lazy Media

    This guy's a dick, but he had nothing to do with the decision to go to war. Remember, the WMD stories didn't come out until the fall of 2002. That was all window dressing to try and keep the UN off our back and maybe pick up a few coalition partners.

    Everyone in the military knew by the middle of 2002 that we were going, once we got the plans written and the stuff in place. We invaded Iraq a) because Saddam tried to kill W's daddy, b) the Saudis wanted him gone, c) we were tired of fighting Saddam from the air (which we'd been doing since the mid-'90s) and d) the neocons were itching to try their "spread democracy, ensure a reliable supply of oil & end terrorism through a series of invasions" plan. Reliable rumor had it that the original Cheney/Rumsfeld/Wolfowitz/Feith master plan was to invade five countries in seven years, in order of Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Syria and Libya. I don't think they deliberately fabricated the WMD excuse, because they didn't really care about it. They just thought it would sell a lot better than their real reasons.

  • I seem to remember a little place called Fallujah…

  • Asa_Hawks

    Thanks, Wonkette. I'm now starting to think my fate is decided by violent sociopaths who possess unprecedented powers and zero accountability.

    • SayItWithWookies

      As least they're human, so in that sense it's better than religion.

  • OzoneTom

    Can we make sure that Curveball and his entire family get to live in the country that he caused to be "liberated"? It's the least that we can do.

  • From the wiki: The Bush administration laid blame on the CIA, criticizing its officials for "failing to investigate" doubts about Curveball…

    Yes, I remember those lacerating criticisms of high officials, culminating in the handing out of Medals of Freedom.

  • GOPCrusher

    No matter how terrible America becomes in the next couple of years, at least I can take satisfaction in the knowledge that the majority of Americans still believe that George Bush/Dick Cheney are a couple of lying sacks of shit.

  • gvvt

    "Report: Hundreds of WMDs Found in Iraq"

    WASHINGTON — The United States has found 500 chemical weapons in Iraq since 2003, and more weapons of mass destruction are likely to be uncovered, two Republican lawmakers said Wednesday.

    "We have found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, chemical weapons," Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., said in a quickly called press conference late Wednesday afternoon.

    Read more:,2933,200499,00.htm

    • DangerHelvetica

      To paraphrase what I think was a Conan bit, "we have found mustard and gas- the two main ingredients in mustard gas!"

  • comrad_darkness

    George W. Bush was a fucking tool.

    • DangerHelvetica

      Hey man, don't insult fucking tools like that.

      • emmelemm

        Tools are useful.

  • lochnessmonster

    Anyone with half a brain would know that it would be impossible to have rolling WMD labs in trucks and railroad cars.. Too dangereous of stuff to roll around the countryside.

    • gvvt

      I think I remember someone arguing that at the time. But Iraq had such a fantastic infrastructure they could pull it off, I guess….

  • It is unfortunate that the real villains of the piece don't give a shit about the verdict of history or will be dead when the definitive accounts of the preparations for war are written. More of a shame, of course, that so many innocent lives were sacrificed to whatever insane piece of American Exceptionalism shit that they used to convince themselves that war was not only a good idea but the only idea.

    This is pure and simple war crimes stuff.

  • GhostBuggy

    Just…Jesus Christ. You know what gets me? All those lunatic space-lizard conspiracy people, and the whole shadow government thing, and related shit. There is no vast conspiracy. It's just these fucking bastards, doing what they please, to children in faraway places…foreign children and ours. And it's all out in the open, and nobody gives a good goddamn.

    The worst part isn't that I'm somewhat ashamed to be a journalist today, it's that I'm not at all surprised I feel that way.

    • gvvt

      Which is why there's a conspiracy theory – to hide the reality of the surface from behind. Sort of Edgar Allan Poe-esque.

  • wondering where i am

    He couldn't. Alvin Greene had taken the only copy out of the library.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Curveball: "Oops. My bad. I do have some new information about Bigfoot's secret anthrax facility."
    CIA: "Start talking."

  • Or watched Dallas.

  • MrFizzy

    Just avengin' Da-da's honor anyhoo! Ain't much brush to cut in Dallas these days – wonder what's up. Oh, Medal of Freedom – almost fergetted.

  • deanbooth

    Tell whatever lies you want for whatever ends you desire.

    I cry myself to sleep every night because I don't have 100 pee.

  • Isn't it Sun Tse we're talking about here?

    • bflrtsplk

      A minor rearrangement of the letters makes his name Sun Set – or is that too obvious.

  • LetUsBray

    Wait, I read "Guy Who Made Up WMD Story For Iraq Invasion Admits He Made It Up" and assumed you were talking about Shrub. What gives?

  • BarackMyWorld


  • ohgrateone

    You know how you can google a satellite view of your home and see a sharp image of your house and cars on the street? You are looking at 'commercial grade' satellite imagery. Trust me — the DoD has spy satellites with much sharper image capability. Remember that crap about Iraq's "mobile germ labs", giant trucks that were supposedly driving from one place to another, always hiding, that we could never find? It was all lies! And everyone in the image processing centers knew it. There was nothing there. There were no WMDs. But no one would speak up. A bunch of sheep, afraid to buck the chain of command, afraid of fat little Dick Cheney. Cartoon drawings of germ trucks that we could never find! And all of you fell for it. Shame on you, America. Shame on you, especially, Colin Powell. You KNEW. Yet you chose to be Bush's "boy", instead of the man you pretended to be. Shame. On. You.

  • lulzmonger

    Wonder what Curvetwit thinks about the "margin of democracy" in Iraq including Muqtada al-Sadr, the same guy who was using Teh Coalition Of Teh Winning for a toerag about four years ago?

    Unintended consequences = cosmic snark.

  • Negropolis

    Curveball sounds like a bad-ass Bond villain. This fucker's just a sad, sorry-ass muthafucka, excuse my African American Vernacular English.

  • ShaveTheWhales

    Well, all this revelation does for me is to reaffirm the placement of "Curveball" on my personal list of people that make me wish I believed in Hell.

    But the fact that the story has received so little (or would that be "zero"?) domestic coverage is, unfortunately reinforces my growing opinion that the American Century(ish) is just about over. Big hint: when your government (whatever its nominal configuration) starts making decisions about war based on bullshit, you're fucked. It may take a while for the fuckism to become apparent, but hey.

    We're a tribal species. At some point, this was obviously a useful characteristic. Obviously, because it wouldn't have persisted for so long if it weren't. So, as with late-onset atherosclerosis, we are stuck with tribalism because physical evolution is slower than social evolution.

    The thing is, tribalism isn't necessarily a bad thing for the tribe, as long as the tribal leaders have a clue (it may be seriously bad for non-members, of course). But the area of interest where it is most critical for the tribal leaders to have their heads out of their asses is war.

    (BTW, wars are a ridiculously inefficient misuse of resources and people. If the species survives long enough (my guess, 100K years), we will evolve away from tribalism).

    Despite its inefficiency, war is sometimes unavoidable, since we are still living in the tribal paradigm. But when the tribal leaders start lying to the tribe about the reasons for war, the future is so dark you have to wear shit.

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