Drudge: Airport Pat-Downs Now Entering Your ‘T&A’

grabby

by Jack Stuef

The two most important parts of a lady, on the body of one of our finest actors. Nothing to joke about. [screengrab via Wonkette operative "Tim H."]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

25 comments

OkieDokieDogFebruary 14, 2011 at 11:52 pm

I'm sure the pat down dude was kerfuffled when he found Sean's peen.
donner_frohFebruary 14, 2011 at 11:53 pm

You wish you could pat down Sean Penn's T & A, Drudge. Better for everyone if you just think about it while you pleasure yourself in whatever disgusting way you have devised.
Steverino247February 15, 2011 at 12:21 am

Perhaps, Mr. Penn gained tits and ass for a movie part. Ever think of that, you smarties? Huh?
1. Sue4466February 15, 2011 at 9:45 am
  
  He's so method.
bumfugFebruary 15, 2011 at 12:39 am

Matt Drudge? Is he still around? What's he do these days?
1. DoktorZoomFebruary 15, 2011 at 1:06 am
  
  For that matter: Sean Penn? Is he still around? What's he do these days?
  1. proudgrampaFebruary 15, 2011 at 5:13 am
    
    I saw him on an old Two and a Half Men rerun the other day…
    1. JustPixelzFebruary 15, 2011 at 10:21 am
      
      That does not put him on my "watch list".
    2. DaRoosterFebruary 15, 2011 at 12:33 pm
      
      I saw Charlie Sheen on one of them.
  2. Naked_BunnyFebruary 15, 2011 at 8:06 am
    
    I dunno, but he must be getting old if the best he can manage with hair-trigger airport security is a "kerfluffle".
  3. hagajimFebruary 15, 2011 at 4:54 pm
    
    Rumor has it that he's banging Scarlett Johansson
    1. horsedreamer_1February 16, 2011 at 9:53 am
      
      I'd also heard ScarJo & Ryan Reynolds were back on.
      
      Another win, for Canada. (As if Olympic Hockey Gold wasn't enough for those people.)
chascatesFebruary 15, 2011 at 12:46 am

I'm from the government, at your cervix.
nounverb911February 15, 2011 at 12:53 am

Drudge is just jealous since no one pays attention to him anymore.
smokefilledroommateFebruary 15, 2011 at 3:46 am

Should've just stated that he is still Sam.
Come here a minuteFebruary 15, 2011 at 5:56 am

There is a simple explanation for this headline: Sean Penn has nice tits.
researchrantsFebruary 15, 2011 at 7:32 am

Drudge has been calling TSA "T&A" for months and months now. It's funny because it's true, I guess?
BarryOPotterFebruary 15, 2011 at 9:36 am

They checked his Time & Attendance sheet? That's unkonstitooshunul! He doesn't work for them! Oh, wait, it means what? And someone wanted to look at Sean Penn's? That's just fucking sick, man…
MinAgainFebruary 15, 2011 at 11:35 am

A T&A pat-down would be the closest thing to sex that Drudge has had in years.
horsedreamer_1February 15, 2011 at 11:45 am

MOOBS.
DaRoosterFebruary 15, 2011 at 12:35 pm

One more in a long list of his great kerfuffles.
XOhioanFebruary 15, 2011 at 12:55 pm

As an aside from discussing Sean Penn's vagina, "kerfluffle" is the kind of manly vocab one can expect from a conservative on the down-low.
LionelHutzEsqFebruary 15, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Sean Penn gets a T&A pat down for free? Do you know how much I have to pay for one at the local strip club?
voodooeconomicsFebruary 15, 2011 at 5:26 pm

When ordering kherfuffle, is it recommended to get with gravy or asparagus
1. bflrtsplkFebruary 15, 2011 at 8:01 pm
  
  Tobasco will spice up even the lamest kherfuffle.

Comments are closed.