American Family Association resident expert/terrible human Bryan Fischer decided last week that it was okay for white people to take America from the Indians because Native Americans are savages. He’s a mercantile-charter strict constructionist, in other words. But apparently the Injuns found his ranch house and put their tomahawks to his scalp, because the preacher man removed the offending post from the AFA’s webzine. “I posted a column on the settlement of America by Europeans. The column generated so much intense, vitriolic and profane reaction that it threatened to take on a life of its own, and serve as a distraction to the fundamental mission of AFA,” he wrote. Way to go, you guys!
Fischer tried to be mature about calling Native Americans worthless animal heathens who never had morals and don’t deserve a place on the Earth. But you ruined it. Can’t we be civilized when we talk about how great genocide is? Jeez.
But the issue I addressed in the column is an important one, and at some point, a rational discussion and debate about it must be held.
Yeah. But it happened, like, hundreds of years ago. Perhaps we can push Bryan Fischer into a wormhole so he can go have this important conversation with a bunch of smelly wooden-teethed four-feet tall bewigged men around the ol’ chamber pot.
So this is a conversation that needs to take place. But based on the reaction to my column of Tuesday, America is not mature enough right now for that robust dialogue to occur. Until it is ….
Let us all hope that we died in the nuke magma hurricanes long before America became “mature” enough to talk about whether Native Americans are subhuman demons who deserve to be mass-murdered, yes? [AFA]
{ 135 comments }
Ah, the old "well I'm sorry if YOU got offended" reasoning. Did any of these foobs mentally develop beyond five years old?
The only response to this guy is "racist please"
Only gud injun iz a ded injun. Thass a true fack.
That wins today (even if it came in at the 11th hour, so to speak).
The best one ever was when my friend had occasion to say about someone, "Wicca, please."
Hell, he's not even saying "Sorry if you got offended." He's saying, "You morons should be sorry that you were offended, but my stupid boss made me take my perfectly rational and absolutely correct racist screed down. You people should be ashamed of yourself."
EDIT: "Foobs," eh? I see what you did there. More zippers, mule!
Dok, this whole episode is just laminated with stupidity, hatred and malevolence. Unbelievably, in retracting their sadistic, nonsensical statement, they only look worse, if that's possible. But could you imagine how unhinged that decision was?
I am forever confounded how blithely they swing from bully to victim and back again.
These are the people who sob as they beat their families–"Look what you made me do to you, you worthless whore!"
Yeah, but even those cads take their wives/children to dinner to try and make-up and promise never to do it, again. This guy is just plain and unapologically vile.
Actually what he's saying is, "Even white guys were so pissed off by what I said, (AFA letter-writers, puh-lease,) that my boss made me take this down.
And by his reference to "profane" reaction, I assume and hope a lot of those white AFA letter-writers called him a motherfucking racist.
"Did any of these foobs mentally develop beyond five years old? "
No.
Bryan Fischer IS a 'vitriolic and profane reaction'
This crying about how it is everyone else's fault that a conservative says something appalling is really, really old.
How 'bout a Fresca?
I'd like a Fanta please, more goosestepping in every sip.
The problem, buddy, isn't that America is not ready to discuss this topic. The problem is that leaving the syphilis untreated for so long has turned your brain into rancid oatmeal. Penicillin. You're welcome.
I wouldn't have a problem if the Native Americans gave Fischer a blanket infected with smallpox.
I wouldn't have a problem if the Native Americans gave Fischer a blanket infected with
smallpoxSemtex.Should I look up the not-smallpox word at work, or will I get in trouble?
Sorry if I'm just plain dumb.
It's an explosive. You might be headed towards a psychiatric evaluation if you look it up at work.
Uh oh. He forgot that the white men taught the heathen injuns how to read the bible book about the Great White Father.
"Look, I'm sorry you were offended that I called you a smelly booger-head doodoo-face who smells. But I feel that some important points were raised, and hopefully by the time we get to second grade we'll both be mature enough to discuss the fact that you smell your own farts like it and also have cooties with the seriousness which the matter deserves."
That silver fox pelt would make a dandy scalp, Bryan.
That there's his crown of glory, gained in a righteous life.
It would still look good on the end of a casino ridgepole though.
I thought Wingnuts were against "Blame America."
Maybe that was "Buy America."
Or "South America."
When the Injuns were livin' around everywhere it was never America.
Not "South America." That's where they go looking for passionate wimmenz to boink.
The column generated so much intense, vitriolic and profane reaction that it threatened to take on a life of its own,
Shorter Fischer:
Boy, it REALLY gets annoying when it turns out the people I hate can't stand me either. The freaking nerve of some folks.
Ahhh, the White Man's Burden strikes again.
In the final analysis, he has to Bryan Fischer 24/7. How fucking bad would that be? I can't even imagine it. I know things aren't always what they seem to be, but looking at this maggot in human form, I understand he really is what he seems to be. So sad, so repulsive.
Yeah, but do they have to have a vote?
Obviously!
He must lead a double life. I mean, he can't really go on being Bryan Fischer 24/7! That's just crazy! No one could survive being Bryan Fischer 24/7…
It do boggle the mind don't it?
I don't mind who he is. I can ignore him just like I ignored the dude that fired me, because I didn't attend church often enough.
But he's on the radio. And therefore, by default, he has an audience. Coincidentally, his audience are people who hate violence used as the narrative in movies, but looooove violence against people who differ from them.
Hypocrisy from the Christian Right? I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked!
Historically whenever a culture with more advanced technology interacts with a culture not as technologically advanced the outcome is not good ( see South America for starters)
That reminds me, I need to get my donation in to SETI At Home.
Are you sure its Bryan and not Bobby Fischer, no couldn't be, Bobby Fischer at least had talent beyond being an asshole.
Once again a conservative racist says what they really think and yet it gets so little media play.
Then again, Bobby Fischer had the good manners to die.
See, now, why can't ALL Republicans be like that? Sure, it takes a little effort, but that's what bein' a Merkin is all about, man.
I am sure his next screed will be about how his inability "man up" and whining like a bitch about being called on stupid remarks is just another sign of the liberal feminization of Christianity.
Muscular Christ is weeping tonight at Bryan"s capitulation to the liberal lamestream media. Muscular Christ does not approve of capitulation.
Am I just drunk, or didn't we just hear the "don't want a distraction from the issues that matter" BS excuse from (former) Rep. Lee, after he got busted for his flexy CL career-killing wankfest a couple days ago? Don't we hear that *every* time?
photos surfacing in 3… 2… 1…
There goes the PC Police attacking the Aryan Family Association again…
I'd like to have a serious, mature discussion about the efficacy of Bryan Fischer munching down my butt crack.
Um, no. No, thanks. That's an image I really don't need around bedtime.
There is no possible meaning of the words "mature" and "respectful" that could describe anything Bryan Fischer has ever done, said or thought.
He debases the English language by using it.
He debases the very concept of language itself. I'm even starting to think that grunting and gesturing was a bad idea.
For any serious mature discussion, you're going to want to include the raving racist cultist, since the voices in his head created the universe.
To sum up, then:
Old timey genociding, theocratizing Europeans = Good
Modern-day, safety netting, high-speed railing Europeans = Wicked
Christian white male is so oppressed and misunderstood!
Why dont you explain what you mean by a "robust dialogue"?
No, with a bit more thought, go fuck yourself.
Hope that is robust enough for you.
With the simple phrase "a mercantile-charter strict constructionist," Jack Stuef has seized Tehrir Square from Ken's Basiji thugs!
All of Indonesia wanks to Bryan Fischer, but they're like that. Next up? Bahrain, Libya, and Waco!
What's the Basiji doing in Egypt? Or rather, what the hell is Tahrir Square doing in Tehran?
If only Bryan had remembered what a similar fool once said…
"There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry."
George Custer
"Hurrah, boys, we've got 'em!"
Custer got his ass handed to him, no doubt. No, he literally had his ass handed to him.
And he wasn't even counting the billion or so on the *other* side of the world …
This is him speaking on behalf of American Families? Maybe he should just stick to topics he knows a lot about. Like NAMBLA.
Eventually, Bryan Fischer, people are going to laugh at you for being a turd.
We are already. But we're just the vangard.
Bryan Fischer says that America is not mature enough right now for Bryan Fischer's enlightened wisdom.
Ted Knight was funny as hell. Why isn't this guy funnier, like Ted Knight?
He's more like David Brent, only without the insight.
Ted Knight wasn't an asshole of epic proportion and smell. This guy is just sad.
“I posted a column on the settlement of America by Europeans. The column generated so much intense, vitriolic and profane reaction that it threatened to take on a life of its own, and serve as a distraction to the fundamental mission of AFA,”
How was it a distraction?
Isn't the fundamental mission of the AFA to be vitriolic, reactionary, threatening and profane?
Yes, but the vitriol, reactionism, threats and profanity are all supposed to be directed at whichever demographic Baryan Fischer deems impure enough to deserve it . When it's directed at him/his klan, well then, obviously someone's missing the point.
Should always go with your strengths.
"We've replaced Bryan Fischer's dog-whistle with an air-raid siren. Let's see if he notices!"
I keep waiting for Mister Fischer to reveal himself as a fake/satire columnist a la Ed Anger or Jean Teasdale, because no one can really be that batshit crazy, right? Um, not.
And so like Gandhi pulling back from non-cooperation, Bryan Fischer calls his forces to quiet contemplation and disciplined nonvio- err, hatred, in private, until the world is ready for his bold ideas.
We've replaced Bryan Fischer's racist screed about Native Americans' refusal to embrace Christianity with this self-justifying pity party. Let's see if anyone notices.
Gee…Brad never asks for a second cup of my overheated vitriol…
The problem with most of these faggety-assed lamestream Evangelical preachers is that they don't "go there" like Rev. Bryan.
I hope that's not his "O" face.
Seriously, I'm surprised they took anything down off their site. Their mission is to be insensitive in the name of Christ.
It's getting to be so commonplace among preachy types these days, they're going to need to get a new schtick to get the attention they crave.
Maybe those 'feel good' ministers like that big ghey Rick Warren are really on to something; the wave of the near-term future in the business. Their parishoners don't seem to be catching on too quickly at the mechanical fleecing they're getting, and they leave happy after the services. You may actually see a decline in Christian hate futures; the money seems to be going the other way.
We can only hope. Let the rubes blow all their money on their Sunday performances – just leave the rest of us alone.
Native Americans: the U.S. Government's 1st, and most thorough, terrorism campaign.
"Can GEICO save you 15% or more?… Is Bryan Fischer an ignorant bag of shit?"
I will never be able to watch those Geico commercials again without thinking of your comment and laughing. Thanks.
Shoot, I want to be mature about these matters. But when talkin’ to a turd, I can’t help but to turn my head and hold my nose.
Oh, hey, looks like we missed this dandy Guest Column by alleged Christian Scott Lively, about how the Shining Wonderful Christian Nation of Uganda is being murdered by "the lavender Marxists." Oddly enough, the column does acknowledge one actual murder: "Ugandan homosexual activist David Kato was recently beaten to death with a hammer, a horrific crime," but this actual death of a real human being is apparently an aberration, and certainly small potatoes compared to the far more serious metaphorical murder of the entire Ugandan nation, which may figuratively die if it is unable to go ahead and literally kill a lot more actual human beings who are homosexual.
So there is a "now-global network of sexual revolutionaries bent on remaking the entire world in their own perverted image". My only question is how do I join?
Lavender Marxists – cool albums, but I hear their live show sucks.
"The column generated so much intense, vitriolic and profane reaction that it threatened to take on a life of its own, and serve as a distraction to the fundamental mission of AFA”
As opposed to the subdued, poetic and sacred act of driving Native Americans out of their land, and killing off many of them in the process…
It was was only due to the incompetence of the federal government that they missed a few.
If, however, there is a moral and ethical basis for our displacement of native American tribes, and if our westward expansion and settlement are in fact consistent with the laws of nature, nature’s God, and the law of nations, then Americans have much to be proud of.
Similar to arguments advanced by by Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Hitler, etc.
you gotta give him credit for saying "IF'.
not really, though.
glenn beck probably didn't rape a 12 year old boy in 1998, but IF he did…
Boy, have you got it wrong! Beck never raped a young boy. That's just absurd!
It was a young girl, and it was way back in 1989 or 1990. He hasn't specified which. Why hasn't he told us which year it was?
Just asking. I mean, he certainly hasn't denied it.
Manifest Destiny, baby!
So we can look forward to a column about the "displacement" of the Jews in a few years? After all, they were non-Christians!
That's what I couldn't get over. That not only is this worthless ambulatory turd a moral aberration, but his attempts at rhetoric and logic are what I would expect from a three-year-old. "Because if you don't, if you don't give me my pink pajamas that means you hate my pink pajamas and you hate me and then I hate you too and you are a poopy head." Real impressive.
Drang Nach Osten = The Wild West, but goniometrically dyslexic, & more Panzer-y.
if we can't understand the mindset of the colonial domestic terrorists who founded/annexed the usa, we've truly failed our founding fathers.
Paul Mooney said: "I did not make this shit up.." http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?t...
Bryan Fischer would like us to apologize to him for being offended by his justification of genocide. And we damned well better be sincere about it, too. He can tell.
Well, so much for the value of a stanford education.
Blow me, Ted Baxter.
Write what you know. In this case it should have resulted in an op-Ed about best practices for uploading a cock shot in response to a Craigslist ad.
This vile pig-dog makes me ill. Even in his back-peddling is he disgustingly self-righteous.
Satan's furnishing his apartment in Hell as we speak, thank God.
These Christofacists can't seem to understand that not everyone wants to be saved by them.
But that just shows our level of immaturity, that we think this Xtian Asshat is a racist scumbag.
I like that term. "Vile pig-dog." But which Republican to use it on? There are so many, each impressively worthy.
"Pig-dog" is the translation of the Germany slur "Schweinhund". Pig-dog sounds so much more vulgar when said in English to my ears, so it's the one I use.
The minute a Christian white man starts to get a wee bit testy about only having 8,000 times more cash in the bank than everyone who's not a Christian white man (instead of the 10,000 times more he's entitled to have), you libruls fly off the handle. Did you ever hear about freedum of speech? His people made this land the great beecon of democrazy it is, so show some reespect.
Is he wearing a teal dress shirt with a pink tie? He looks like background furniture on the set of The Golden Girls.
What a prick. I envision very warm places in hell for self-righteous, arrogant assholes like this.
As an atheist, I am disappointed to presume there is no hell, for self-righteous, arrogant assholes like this.
I'm an agnostic, myself, but the use of Christian Hell is an awesome literary technique to use regardless of one's beliefs.
Almost makes me wish I were a believer m'self. The joy of watching this arrogant, unrepentant prick roasting on an open spit, rendering all that well-fed fat. Hmm. I might be hungry.
The problem is that such a place might be mistaken for the "Deep South".
I don't know where this shit-stain lives. He may not see or know many Native Americans. They are a force to be reckoned with artistically, socially and economically here in the west. The discussion should be more than robust and it is he, not they, who has showed insufficient maturity to handle the subject. But then, colonialism is always about immaturity isn't it?
Why is it when you imagine the god you worship is an evil, racist prick, it turns you into an evil, racist prick?
Over quoted but here it is anyway:
Anne Lamott "You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."
Yet another rewording of Bryan Fischer's retraction: "You can make me take it off the web site, but you can't make me stop thinking it!"
The problem with his argument is that God didn't always use people who were good to punish the bad.
A guy with skin that orange might want to be carefull about who the injun is. We might want to go play cowboys and massacres with the AFA.
pretty sure this guy is going to die in prison.
On the bright side, when Michele Bachmann is elected president next year, we can look forward to Mr. Fischer's next incarnation as Secretary of the Interior.
My aunt's brand of Chocktaw name their babies after something seen/heard during or after birth.
I just wonder how many Chocktaw children born near Bryan would have to be named "Heap Big Douche Bag" before they change that custom.
Chocktaw, eh? I have some Chickasaw and Chocktaw heritage, myself, though we never looked much in to it, and I've been wanting to.
Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?
The stupid, it burns.
Remember that he expects a mature conversation and debate about this issue. From a man who believes that he keeps living after he dies.
Every time I see a picture of this guy, I can't help but think "creepy bolo-wearing guy that sounds like Pat Buttram*, going around asking kids to sit on his lap".
* With PROFUSE apologies to the late, great Pat Buttram.
Glad you followed that up with an apology to Pat Buttram, otherwise we would have to have words.
to the fundamental mission of AFA
Which is the oppression of women and other rational people.
Fuckin' Conservatives
Quick, Paw! Pull the websites into a circle! (We get better reception that way.)
Oh, my poor white brother.
Could this guy and his desert god please go for a long, long walk in the desert? On a hot day? With no water?
Bryan Fischer is an Indian poster.
AFA = American Fucktard Avalanche.
oh Bryan Fischer, what next? Arguing for a re-introduction of the Slave trade?
You've got to admit, the retail sector could use the boost…
Caption: "Tomahawk goes WHERE?!"
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