BIGOTRY LATE NIGHT  10:56 pm February 14, 2011

Bryan Fischer Finally Says Something Terrible Enough To Have Op-Ed Pulled

by Jack Stuef

It never ceases to amaze us this white man loves white men.American Family Association resident expert/terrible human Bryan Fischer decided last week that it was okay for white people to take America from the Indians because Native Americans are savages. He’s a mercantile-charter strict constructionist, in other words. But apparently the Injuns found his ranch house and put their tomahawks to his scalp, because the preacher man removed the offending post from the AFA’s webzine. “I posted a column on the settlement of America by Europeans. The column generated so much intense, vitriolic and profane reaction that it threatened to take on a life of its own, and serve as a distraction to the fundamental mission of AFA,” he wrote. Way to go, you guys!

Fischer tried to be mature about calling Native Americans worthless animal heathens who never had morals and don’t deserve a place on the Earth. But you ruined it. Can’t we be civilized when we talk about how great genocide is? Jeez.

But the issue I addressed in the column is an important one, and at some point, a rational discussion and debate about it must be held.

Yeah. But it happened, like, hundreds of years ago. Perhaps we can push Bryan Fischer into a wormhole so he can go have this important conversation with a bunch of smelly wooden-teethed four-feet tall bewigged men around the ol’ chamber pot.

So this is a conversation that needs to take place. But based on the reaction to my column of Tuesday, America is not mature enough right now for that robust dialogue to occur. Until it is ….

Let us all hope that we died in the nuke magma hurricanes long before America became “mature” enough to talk about whether Native Americans are subhuman demons who deserve to be mass-murdered, yes? [AFA]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 135 comments }

DangerHelvetica February 14, 2011 at 11:00 pm

Ah, the old "well I'm sorry if YOU got offended" reasoning. Did any of these foobs mentally develop beyond five years old?

Beowoof February 14, 2011 at 11:26 pm

The only response to this guy is "racist please"

Lascauxcaveman February 15, 2011 at 12:28 am

Only gud injun iz a ded injun. Thass a true fack.

emmelemm February 15, 2011 at 3:27 am

That wins today (even if it came in at the 11th hour, so to speak).

The best one ever was when my friend had occasion to say about someone, "Wicca, please."

DoktorZoom February 15, 2011 at 12:27 am

Hell, he's not even saying "Sorry if you got offended." He's saying, "You morons should be sorry that you were offended, but my stupid boss made me take my perfectly rational and absolutely correct racist screed down. You people should be ashamed of yourself."

EDIT: "Foobs," eh? I see what you did there. More zippers, mule!

Radiotherapy February 15, 2011 at 1:06 am

Dok, this whole episode is just laminated with stupidity, hatred and malevolence. Unbelievably, in retracting their sadistic, nonsensical statement, they only look worse, if that's possible. But could you imagine how unhinged that decision was?
I am forever confounded how blithely they swing from bully to victim and back again.

DoktorZoom February 15, 2011 at 1:11 am

These are the people who sob as they beat their families–"Look what you made me do to you, you worthless whore!"

Negropolis February 15, 2011 at 3:40 am

Yeah, but even those cads take their wives/children to dinner to try and make-up and promise never to do it, again. This guy is just plain and unapologically vile.

Swampgas_Man February 15, 2011 at 4:55 pm

Actually what he's saying is, "Even white guys were so pissed off by what I said, (AFA letter-writers, puh-lease,) that my boss made me take this down.

And by his reference to "profane" reaction, I assume and hope a lot of those white AFA letter-writers called him a motherfucking racist.

ChessieNefercat February 15, 2011 at 10:14 am

"Did any of these foobs mentally develop beyond five years old? "

No.

Dashboard_Jesus February 15, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Bryan Fischer IS a 'vitriolic and profane reaction'

glamourdammerung February 14, 2011 at 11:01 pm

This crying about how it is everyone else's fault that a conservative says something appalling is really, really old.

Troubledog February 14, 2011 at 11:02 pm

How 'bout a Fresca?

Dr_pangloss February 15, 2011 at 8:22 am

I'd like a Fanta please, more goosestepping in every sip.

PalinPussyPower February 14, 2011 at 11:02 pm

The problem, buddy, isn't that America is not ready to discuss this topic. The problem is that leaving the syphilis untreated for so long has turned your brain into rancid oatmeal. Penicillin. You're welcome.

nounverb911 February 14, 2011 at 11:03 pm

I wouldn't have a problem if the Native Americans gave Fischer a blanket infected with smallpox.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 14, 2011 at 11:10 pm

I wouldn't have a problem if the Native Americans gave Fischer a blanket infected with smallpox Semtex.

ChessieNefercat February 15, 2011 at 10:26 am

Should I look up the not-smallpox word at work, or will I get in trouble?
Sorry if I'm just plain dumb.

dinkybossetti February 15, 2011 at 10:49 am

It's an explosive. You might be headed towards a psychiatric evaluation if you look it up at work.

OkieDokieDog February 14, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Uh oh. He forgot that the white men taught the heathen injuns how to read the bible book about the Great White Father.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 14, 2011 at 11:07 pm

"Look, I'm sorry you were offended that I called you a smelly booger-head doodoo-face who smells. But I feel that some important points were raised, and hopefully by the time we get to second grade we'll both be mature enough to discuss the fact that you smell your own farts like it and also have cooties with the seriousness which the matter deserves."

Zvi_Bleindmeis February 14, 2011 at 11:08 pm

That silver fox pelt would make a dandy scalp, Bryan.

Angry_Marmot February 15, 2011 at 1:58 am

That there's his crown of glory, gained in a righteous life.

transfatz February 15, 2011 at 6:19 am

It would still look good on the end of a casino ridgepole though.

Pragmatist2 February 14, 2011 at 11:20 pm

I thought Wingnuts were against "Blame America."
Maybe that was "Buy America."
Or "South America."

sati_demise February 14, 2011 at 11:33 pm

When the Injuns were livin' around everywhere it was never America.

PristineODummy February 16, 2011 at 12:29 am

Not "South America." That's where they go looking for passionate wimmenz to boink.

JoshuaNorton February 14, 2011 at 11:20 pm

The column generated so much intense, vitriolic and profane reaction that it threatened to take on a life of its own,

Shorter Fischer:

Boy, it REALLY gets annoying when it turns out the people I hate can't stand me either. The freaking nerve of some folks.

Maman February 15, 2011 at 9:46 am

Ahhh, the White Man's Burden strikes again.

ttommyunger February 14, 2011 at 11:23 pm

In the final analysis, he has to Bryan Fischer 24/7. How fucking bad would that be? I can't even imagine it. I know things aren't always what they seem to be, but looking at this maggot in human form, I understand he really is what he seems to be. So sad, so repulsive.

Jukesgrrl February 15, 2011 at 3:50 am

Yeah, but do they have to have a vote?

ttommyunger February 15, 2011 at 10:29 am

Obviously!

BarryOPotter February 15, 2011 at 9:55 am

He must lead a double life. I mean, he can't really go on being Bryan Fischer 24/7! That's just crazy! No one could survive being Bryan Fischer 24/7…

ttommyunger February 15, 2011 at 10:29 am

It do boggle the mind don't it?

chickensmack February 16, 2011 at 10:12 am

I don't mind who he is. I can ignore him just like I ignored the dude that fired me, because I didn't attend church often enough.

But he's on the radio. And therefore, by default, he has an audience. Coincidentally, his audience are people who hate violence used as the narrative in movies, but looooove violence against people who differ from them.

ttommyunger February 16, 2011 at 10:20 am

Hypocrisy from the Christian Right? I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked!

trampndirtdown February 14, 2011 at 11:25 pm

Historically whenever a culture with more advanced technology interacts with a culture not as technologically advanced the outcome is not good ( see South America for starters)

DoktorZoom February 15, 2011 at 12:29 am

That reminds me, I need to get my donation in to SETI At Home.

Beowoof February 14, 2011 at 11:25 pm

Are you sure its Bryan and not Bobby Fischer, no couldn't be, Bobby Fischer at least had talent beyond being an asshole.

Once again a conservative racist says what they really think and yet it gets so little media play.

nounverb911 February 15, 2011 at 12:56 am

Then again, Bobby Fischer had the good manners to die.

PristineODummy February 16, 2011 at 12:31 am

See, now, why can't ALL Republicans be like that? Sure, it takes a little effort, but that's what bein' a Merkin is all about, man.

glamourdammerung February 14, 2011 at 11:27 pm

I am sure his next screed will be about how his inability "man up" and whining like a bitch about being called on stupid remarks is just another sign of the liberal feminization of Christianity.

PresBeeblebrox February 15, 2011 at 12:17 am

Muscular Christ is weeping tonight at Bryan"s capitulation to the liberal lamestream media. Muscular Christ does not approve of capitulation.

Blendergoathead February 14, 2011 at 11:30 pm

Am I just drunk, or didn't we just hear the "don't want a distraction from the issues that matter" BS excuse from (former) Rep. Lee, after he got busted for his flexy CL career-killing wankfest a couple days ago? Don't we hear that *every* time?

photos surfacing in 3… 2… 1…

HolyMaracas February 14, 2011 at 11:32 pm

There goes the PC Police attacking the Aryan Family Association again…

LetUsBray February 14, 2011 at 11:33 pm

I'd like to have a serious, mature discussion about the efficacy of Bryan Fischer munching down my butt crack.

PristineODummy February 16, 2011 at 12:33 am

Um, no. No, thanks. That's an image I really don't need around bedtime.

donner_froh February 14, 2011 at 11:34 pm

There is no possible meaning of the words "mature" and "respectful" that could describe anything Bryan Fischer has ever done, said or thought.

He debases the English language by using it.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 14, 2011 at 11:53 pm

He debases the very concept of language itself. I'm even starting to think that grunting and gesturing was a bad idea.

harry_palmer February 14, 2011 at 11:34 pm

For any serious mature discussion, you're going to want to include the raving racist cultist, since the voices in his head created the universe.

aguacatero February 14, 2011 at 11:36 pm

To sum up, then:

Old timey genociding, theocratizing Europeans = Good

Modern-day, safety netting, high-speed railing Europeans = Wicked

sati_demise February 14, 2011 at 11:37 pm

Christian white male is so oppressed and misunderstood!
Why dont you explain what you mean by a "robust dialogue"?

No, with a bit more thought, go fuck yourself.
Hope that is robust enough for you.

Veritas78 February 14, 2011 at 11:40 pm

With the simple phrase "a mercantile-charter strict constructionist," Jack Stuef has seized Tehrir Square from Ken's Basiji thugs!

All of Indonesia wanks to Bryan Fischer, but they're like that. Next up? Bahrain, Libya, and Waco!

Negropolis February 15, 2011 at 3:44 am

What's the Basiji doing in Egypt? Or rather, what the hell is Tahrir Square doing in Tehran?

ManchuCandidate February 14, 2011 at 11:41 pm

If only Bryan had remembered what a similar fool once said…

"There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry."
George Custer

Angry_Marmot February 15, 2011 at 2:00 am

"Hurrah, boys, we've got 'em!"

Negropolis February 15, 2011 at 3:45 am

Custer got his ass handed to him, no doubt. No, he literally had his ass handed to him.

PristineODummy February 16, 2011 at 12:35 am

And he wasn't even counting the billion or so on the *other* side of the world …

Not_So_Much February 14, 2011 at 11:44 pm

This is him speaking on behalf of American Families? Maybe he should just stick to topics he knows a lot about. Like NAMBLA.

Gorillionaire February 15, 2011 at 12:03 am

Eventually, Bryan Fischer, people are going to laugh at you for being a turd.

Lascauxcaveman February 15, 2011 at 12:33 am

We are already. But we're just the vangard.

UW8316154 February 15, 2011 at 12:12 am

Bryan Fischer says that America is not mature enough right now for Bryan Fischer's enlightened wisdom.

Troubledog February 15, 2011 at 12:12 am

Ted Knight was funny as hell. Why isn't this guy funnier, like Ted Knight?

DoktorZoom February 15, 2011 at 12:31 am

He's more like David Brent, only without the insight.

Rotundo_ February 15, 2011 at 6:07 am

Ted Knight wasn't an asshole of epic proportion and smell. This guy is just sad.

DerrickWildcat February 15, 2011 at 12:13 am

“I posted a column on the settlement of America by Europeans. The column generated so much intense, vitriolic and profane reaction that it threatened to take on a life of its own, and serve as a distraction to the fundamental mission of AFA,”

How was it a distraction?
Isn't the fundamental mission of the AFA to be vitriolic, reactionary, threatening and profane?

Badonkadonkette February 15, 2011 at 12:30 am

Yes, but the vitriol, reactionism, threats and profanity are all supposed to be directed at whichever demographic Baryan Fischer deems impure enough to deserve it . When it's directed at him/his klan, well then, obviously someone's missing the point.

GOPCrusher February 15, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Should always go with your strengths.

lulzmonger February 16, 2011 at 3:02 am

"We've replaced Bryan Fischer's dog-whistle with an air-raid siren. Let's see if he notices!"

PresBeeblebrox February 15, 2011 at 12:15 am

I keep waiting for Mister Fischer to reveal himself as a fake/satire columnist a la Ed Anger or Jean Teasdale, because no one can really be that batshit crazy, right? Um, not.

MadBrahms February 15, 2011 at 12:20 am

And so like Gandhi pulling back from non-cooperation, Bryan Fischer calls his forces to quiet contemplation and disciplined nonvio- err, hatred, in private, until the world is ready for his bold ideas.

imissopus February 15, 2011 at 12:25 am

We've replaced Bryan Fischer's racist screed about Native Americans' refusal to embrace Christianity with this self-justifying pity party. Let's see if anyone notices.

DoktorZoom February 15, 2011 at 12:46 am

Gee…Brad never asks for a second cup of my overheated vitriol…

moar_plz February 15, 2011 at 12:27 am

The problem with most of these faggety-assed lamestream Evangelical preachers is that they don't "go there" like Rev. Bryan.

Steverino247 February 15, 2011 at 12:27 am

I hope that's not his "O" face.

Seriously, I'm surprised they took anything down off their site. Their mission is to be insensitive in the name of Christ.

Lascauxcaveman February 15, 2011 at 1:29 am

It's getting to be so commonplace among preachy types these days, they're going to need to get a new schtick to get the attention they crave.

Maybe those 'feel good' ministers like that big ghey Rick Warren are really on to something; the wave of the near-term future in the business. Their parishoners don't seem to be catching on too quickly at the mechanical fleecing they're getting, and they leave happy after the services. You may actually see a decline in Christian hate futures; the money seems to be going the other way.

HistoriCat February 15, 2011 at 9:25 am

We can only hope. Let the rubes blow all their money on their Sunday performances – just leave the rest of us alone.

Radiotherapy February 15, 2011 at 12:32 am

Native Americans: the U.S. Government's 1st, and most thorough, terrorism campaign.

bumfug February 15, 2011 at 12:37 am

"Can GEICO save you 15% or more?… Is Bryan Fischer an ignorant bag of shit?"

outragedcitizen February 15, 2011 at 1:44 pm

I will never be able to watch those Geico commercials again without thinking of your comment and laughing. Thanks.

BlackRhino February 15, 2011 at 12:38 am

Shoot, I want to be mature about these matters. But when talkin’ to a turd, I can’t help but to turn my head and hold my nose.

DoktorZoom February 15, 2011 at 12:40 am

Oh, hey, looks like we missed this dandy Guest Column by alleged Christian Scott Lively, about how the Shining Wonderful Christian Nation of Uganda is being murdered by "the lavender Marxists." Oddly enough, the column does acknowledge one actual murder: "Ugandan homosexual activist David Kato was recently beaten to death with a hammer, a horrific crime," but this actual death of a real human being is apparently an aberration, and certainly small potatoes compared to the far more serious metaphorical murder of the entire Ugandan nation, which may figuratively die if it is unable to go ahead and literally kill a lot more actual human beings who are homosexual.

Ducksworthy February 15, 2011 at 9:54 am

So there is a "now-global network of sexual revolutionaries bent on remaking the entire world in their own perverted image". My only question is how do I join?

lulzmonger February 16, 2011 at 3:26 am

Lavender Marxists – cool albums, but I hear their live show sucks.

Callyson February 15, 2011 at 12:43 am

"The column generated so much intense, vitriolic and profane reaction that it threatened to take on a life of its own, and serve as a distraction to the fundamental mission of AFA”
As opposed to the subdued, poetic and sacred act of driving Native Americans out of their land, and killing off many of them in the process…

Ducksworthy February 15, 2011 at 9:55 am

It was was only due to the incompetence of the federal government that they missed a few.

chascates February 15, 2011 at 12:50 am

If, however, there is a moral and ethical basis for our displacement of native American tribes, and if our westward expansion and settlement are in fact consistent with the laws of nature, nature’s God, and the law of nations, then Americans have much to be proud of.

Similar to arguments advanced by by Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Hitler, etc.

obfuscator2 February 15, 2011 at 12:58 am

you gotta give him credit for saying "IF'.

not really, though.

glenn beck probably didn't rape a 12 year old boy in 1998, but IF he did…

Lascauxcaveman February 15, 2011 at 1:35 am

Boy, have you got it wrong! Beck never raped a young boy. That's just absurd!

It was a young girl, and it was way back in 1989 or 1990. He hasn't specified which. Why hasn't he told us which year it was?

Just asking. I mean, he certainly hasn't denied it.

sati_demise February 15, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Manifest Destiny, baby!

Swampgas_Man February 15, 2011 at 5:05 pm

So we can look forward to a column about the "displacement" of the Jews in a few years? After all, they were non-Christians!

PristineODummy February 16, 2011 at 12:41 am

That's what I couldn't get over. That not only is this worthless ambulatory turd a moral aberration, but his attempts at rhetoric and logic are what I would expect from a three-year-old. "Because if you don't, if you don't give me my pink pajamas that means you hate my pink pajamas and you hate me and then I hate you too and you are a poopy head." Real impressive.

lulzmonger February 16, 2011 at 3:29 am

Drang Nach Osten = The Wild West, but goniometrically dyslexic, & more Panzer-y.

obfuscator2 February 15, 2011 at 12:55 am

if we can't understand the mindset of the colonial domestic terrorists who founded/annexed the usa, we've truly failed our founding fathers.

dogscantlookup February 15, 2011 at 1:00 am

Paul Mooney said: "I did not make this shit up.." http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?t

DoktorZoom February 15, 2011 at 1:21 am

Bryan Fischer would like us to apologize to him for being offended by his justification of genocide. And we damned well better be sincere about it, too. He can tell.

EdFlintstone February 15, 2011 at 1:33 am

Well, so much for the value of a stanford education.

mourningnmerica February 15, 2011 at 1:36 am

Blow me, Ted Baxter.

mrblifil February 15, 2011 at 3:20 am

Write what you know. In this case it should have resulted in an op-Ed about best practices for uploading a cock shot in response to a Craigslist ad.

Negropolis February 15, 2011 at 3:38 am

This vile pig-dog makes me ill. Even in his back-peddling is he disgustingly self-righteous.

Satan's furnishing his apartment in Hell as we speak, thank God.

GOPCrusher February 15, 2011 at 12:20 pm

These Christofacists can't seem to understand that not everyone wants to be saved by them.
But that just shows our level of immaturity, that we think this Xtian Asshat is a racist scumbag.

PristineODummy February 16, 2011 at 12:42 am

I like that term. "Vile pig-dog." But which Republican to use it on? There are so many, each impressively worthy.

Negropolis February 16, 2011 at 6:41 am

"Pig-dog" is the translation of the Germany slur "Schweinhund". Pig-dog sounds so much more vulgar when said in English to my ears, so it's the one I use.

Jukesgrrl February 15, 2011 at 4:04 am

The minute a Christian white man starts to get a wee bit testy about only having 8,000 times more cash in the bank than everyone who's not a Christian white man (instead of the 10,000 times more he's entitled to have), you libruls fly off the handle. Did you ever hear about freedum of speech? His people made this land the great beecon of democrazy it is, so show some reespect.

DrunkIrishman February 15, 2011 at 4:33 am

Is he wearing a teal dress shirt with a pink tie? He looks like background furniture on the set of The Golden Girls.

proudgrampa February 15, 2011 at 5:22 am

What a prick. I envision very warm places in hell for self-righteous, arrogant assholes like this.

chickensmack February 15, 2011 at 10:52 am

As an atheist, I am disappointed to presume there is no hell, for self-righteous, arrogant assholes like this.

Negropolis February 15, 2011 at 11:12 pm

I'm an agnostic, myself, but the use of Christian Hell is an awesome literary technique to use regardless of one's beliefs.

PristineODummy February 16, 2011 at 12:44 am

Almost makes me wish I were a believer m'self. The joy of watching this arrogant, unrepentant prick roasting on an open spit, rendering all that well-fed fat. Hmm. I might be hungry.

glamourdammerung February 15, 2011 at 2:00 pm

The problem is that such a place might be mistaken for the "Deep South".

transfatz February 15, 2011 at 5:58 am

I don't know where this shit-stain lives. He may not see or know many Native Americans. They are a force to be reckoned with artistically, socially and economically here in the west. The discussion should be more than robust and it is he, not they, who has showed insufficient maturity to handle the subject. But then, colonialism is always about immaturity isn't it?

Hera Sent Me February 15, 2011 at 7:05 am

Why is it when you imagine the god you worship is an evil, racist prick, it turns you into an evil, racist prick?

Ducksworthy February 15, 2011 at 10:00 am

Over quoted but here it is anyway:
Anne Lamott "You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."

Come here a minute February 15, 2011 at 7:42 am

Yet another rewording of Bryan Fischer's retraction: "You can make me take it off the web site, but you can't make me stop thinking it!"

snoopyfan2010 February 15, 2011 at 7:48 am

The problem with his argument is that God didn't always use people who were good to punish the bad.

Dr_pangloss February 15, 2011 at 8:24 am

A guy with skin that orange might want to be carefull about who the injun is. We might want to go play cowboys and massacres with the AFA.

politics_nerd February 15, 2011 at 9:39 am

pretty sure this guy is going to die in prison.

metamarcisf February 15, 2011 at 9:42 am

On the bright side, when Michele Bachmann is elected president next year, we can look forward to Mr. Fischer's next incarnation as Secretary of the Interior.

EatsBabyDingos February 15, 2011 at 9:48 am

My aunt's brand of Chocktaw name their babies after something seen/heard during or after birth.

I just wonder how many Chocktaw children born near Bryan would have to be named "Heap Big Douche Bag" before they change that custom.

Negropolis February 15, 2011 at 11:08 pm

Chocktaw, eh? I have some Chickasaw and Chocktaw heritage, myself, though we never looked much in to it, and I've been wanting to.

DoktorZoom February 16, 2011 at 12:29 am

Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?

undeterredbyreality February 15, 2011 at 10:39 am

The stupid, it burns.

chickensmack February 15, 2011 at 10:50 am

Remember that he expects a mature conversation and debate about this issue. From a man who believes that he keeps living after he dies.

KochFembot February 15, 2011 at 10:53 am

Every time I see a picture of this guy, I can't help but think "creepy bolo-wearing guy that sounds like Pat Buttram*, going around asking kids to sit on his lap".

* With PROFUSE apologies to the late, great Pat Buttram.

GOPCrusher February 15, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Glad you followed that up with an apology to Pat Buttram, otherwise we would have to have words.

MinAgain February 15, 2011 at 11:32 am

to the fundamental mission of AFA

Which is the oppression of women and other rational people.

PublicLuxury February 15, 2011 at 11:32 am

Fuckin' Conservatives

sportshort February 15, 2011 at 11:39 am

Quick, Paw! Pull the websites into a circle! (We get better reception that way.)

HarryButtle February 15, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Oh, my poor white brother.

notreelyhelping February 15, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Could this guy and his desert god please go for a long, long walk in the desert? On a hot day? With no water?

Extemporanus February 15, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Bryan Fischer is an Indian poster.

hagajim February 15, 2011 at 4:55 pm

AFA = American Fucktard Avalanche.

simplyblue7 February 15, 2011 at 5:53 pm

oh Bryan Fischer, what next? Arguing for a re-introduction of the Slave trade?

DoktorZoom February 16, 2011 at 12:31 am

You've got to admit, the retail sector could use the boost…

lulzmonger February 16, 2011 at 3:32 am

Caption: "Tomahawk goes WHERE?!"

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