Whoa, guess where the latest Muslim-land protests are happening? Iran! A funny thing is how Iran’s religious-fanatic leadership first praised the Egyptian revolution (which has been officially been named the January 25 Revolution, which like all date-based revolution names will never be used outside of the country in question), because maybe Egypt would become a theocracy and mercilessly prosecute errant hikers, so hooray? But then it turned out that the Egyptian revolution was pretty much a “college graduates pissed off because life is hard and meaningless” revolution, and that is not looking good for the ayatollahs — who, like all professional frauds, teach that you must put up with endless crap in “this life” so that later, in space, long after you are dead and gone forever, you will have sexytime in paradise and drink so much “clear wine.” Anyway, things are getting crazy in Tehran!
Iranian police have fired tear gas at opposition demonstrators gathering in central Tehran in support of the protests in Egypt.
A BBC producer in the Iranian capital, who was affected by the gas, described central Tehran as “total chaos”.
He said “severe clashes” were taking place between protesters and police and there had been many arrests.
Here’s a Facebook video:
That was copied to Al Jazeera, which has this to say:
Thousands are demonstrators were marching on Monday on Enghelab and Azadi streets (which connect, creating a straight path through the centre of the city), with a heavy presence in Enghelab Square and Vali-Asr Street, according to these reports.
Several clashes have been reported on Twitter, the micro-blogging site, with claims of some demonstrators being teargassed and others beaten and arrested.
Al Jazeera’s Dorsa Jabbari, in Tehran, confirmed reports that security forces used tear gas and pepper spray against the protesters and even baton-charged them. She said up to 10,000 security forces had been deployed to prevent protesters from gathering at Azadi Square, where the marches, originating from various points in Tehran, were expected to converge.
Chaos continues in Yemen and Algeria and (again) in Egypt, where fresh protests broke out over lousy pay for state employees.
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Everything must be about John Bolton.
That selfish bastard! Probably not one thought about Sarah Palin.
I hear the Security Police in Egypt is now out protesting because people don't love and appreciate them and the government does not pay them enough.
They were marching on the Interior Ministry and chanting in Arabic something like "The Police and the People are brothers".
Which is exactly how I feel about the po-po. Brothers, absolutely. Also.
Of course that police officer is your brother. And when he arrests you for drunk and disorderly on a Saturday morning, he becomes his brother's keeper.
I can't tell you how many times I wanted to whack my drunk brother in the head with a night stick. Kumbaya, brother. Kumbaya.
There are small-minded folks
Who insists that these blokes
Are just uniformed masters of thuggery
But there can be no dispute
If they didn't put the boot in
The country would all go to buggery
So try to keep calm
When they're twisting your arm
Or landing a fist in your gob
When they're giving you hell
In a cold prison cell
Well
They're only just doing their job
+1 Internets to you!
Yeah, they were like totally brothers when they were murdering by the dozens street protestors just last week, the dirty bastards. Fuck 'em; fuck 'em all to hell.
The ayatollahs should enlist the assistance, as a consultant, of Mr John Bolton.
"This is good news for…"
Insane warmongering mustachioed motherfuckers?
Carrot Top?
The Democrats (when Bolton runs for Prez)?
What, is Haley Barbour too busy?
Hey, Glenn, got your caliphate right here…asshole!
Bolt-on and the rest of these neo-boob fuckers weren't right on the Soviet Union (must bomb the fuck out of them because blah blah bajillions of bombers and warships blah blah strong economy blah blah blah good leadership blab blah), weren't right on Iraq (blah blah weapons of mass destruction blah blah blah flowers and candy blah blah blah mission blah accomplished blah blah blah) and now Egypt (blah blah Muslin Brotherhood blah blah Mubarak paragon of virtue blah.)
Nevertheless, I'd be happy to see those Mullah fuckers flee Iran.
Really, that's their argument for every issue, isn't it. Basically; fear (blah blah), nonsense, (blah blah), fiscal conservatism, (blah blah).
Fiscal conservatism except when it comes to borrowing money for tax cuts and bombing. Because those pay for themselves, the way Wolfie said the Iraq war would.
Maybe its just a Flash Mob for singles.
Maybe! But they are chanting "Death to the Dictator," so it's a very *angry* singles flash mob. And isn't "angry sex" the only kind, for the lucky few who will even get any on this awful day of children's candy hearts that say "text me" and "i'm legal"?
Perverted Justice has gone too far.
Tone deaf, agian Mr. Layne. Clearly this single's flash mob is chanting "Death to the Dick Tater", which is, as the name implies, closely related to the 'Couch Potato'. Your argument may yet prevail, as the individual most likely to laze around all day, stone bogarting all the wang in Iran is, in point of fact, Ahmadinejad. Until this can be shown however, full points to the dog.
Regretfully,
Kidneys4Sale
Just like that, except instead of pillows, they're hitting each other with tear gas and rocks. Finally, a valentines day that feels appropriate to my own love life.
Except in the flash mods, it's the asshole teens smashing windows and beating people up, not the cops.
“college graduates pissed off because life is hard and meaningless” hey thats sound so much like USA
Indeed. My revolution's hit day 3,648.
also sounds like my life
Except we're too apathetic to do anything about it but whine.
And your parents are sick of listening to it, and wish you would move the fuck out.
If only we weren't so content engorging ourselves on corn syrup.
Except that we wouldn't even rise up if the National Guard was mowing down our students on college campuses. Kent State is so yesterday, right?
Wait just a cotton pickin' minute. If there are democracies in the Middle East, how can we justify invading them to get some oil?
because they hate our freedom.
God told us to.
This has been Obama's secret plan all along!
It would be nice to see the Ayatollahs forced out, but as they showed before they're willing to just slaughter protesters to put a stop to civil disobedience, and the military they control is willing to carry out that slaughter.
And that is the difference between successful (Egypt, East Germany) peaceful protests and unsuccessful (China, Iran) peaceful protests.
An oppressor's work is never done, just like a dishwasher's. It doesn't matter how many protests you put down or how many of your own citizens you shoot sometimes — if your government sucks bad enough, they'll keep coming out. The Shah, for instance, endured protests for about six months before he was kicked out, and his forces shot peaceful protesters in the street over and over again.
Lets see…
Invading a few Muslim countries and forcing democracy? Not so well.
Standing back and letting folks stand down their fucked-up leaders? Now, we are on a roll. Suck it neo-cons.
(hey Bolton, a cookie-duster that white shows everything)
Oh you think we get to write the history books? How quaint. In a few years school children will be learning all about how Bush and Bolton brought about all this wonderful change with their decisive and victorious action in Iraq. (see Soviet Union, Reagan, defeat of)
Everybody knows Pope J²P² destroyed the Soviet Union. Just ask any Italian.
In a few years? LOL! I heard that one on the Sunday Talking Heads shows, yesterday.
That's right. Fox News is righting the rough draft of history as we speak.
Unlike the coup in Honduras, or the protests in Egypt, Algeria, Tunisia, and Yemen, the Iran protests will "capture the imagination" of Americans (ie, be shown 24 hours a day on CNN and FOX) from the moment they begin.
I'm not saying I like the Mullahs. I am saying I hate the double standards.
Also, I want to rip off Bolton's mustache with my bare hands, and then water board him with a potent aftershave.
Hey, if a double-standard leads to political freedom, I'll take it. Really, I couldn't care less if the US government wanted what happened in Egypt to happen in Iran and do everything to make sure it actually happens.
Unfortunately "do everything to make sure it actually happens" usually includes making sure a puppet gets in to power at the expense of real democracy.
I'm calling my Ouija board, and it says to short oil futures.
Of course, it told me to vote for John Anderson, thereby birthing all this mess. My bad!
I support Ken Layne's initiative to drop John Bolton on Tehran.
I further move that we drop Pammy Atlas along with him.
Who's with me!?!
~
I'll volunteer to "pack" their parachutes Bugs Bunny style for a HALO drop…
Between the 'stache and implants, I'm afraid your efforts will be in vain.
Can we throw in Michael Bolton too?
Only that crappy singer, not that nice young man on "Office Space."
Meanwhile the Focus on the Family leaders are confused…how can a country be unhappy when they've been instructed clearly on what God wants them to do?
Brian Fischer is revising his manifesto on this topic as we speak. Subject: "How Obama's moral weakness led to the Muslim takeover of Egypt."
With additional contributions from K Layne.
I believe John's fav tune goes something like this…
Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran
Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran
Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran
Oh Bomb Iran take my hand
(Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran)
Bomb Iran
(Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran)
You got me rockin' and a rollin'
Rockin' and a reelin' Bomb Iran
Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran
I hear Meghan Mc Cain makes some nice pet sounds when she's "getting down".
I give up…I'll make it more obvious next time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynoCrgl2gj0
And Palin will have fun fun fun
'Till McCain takes the launch codes awaaaayaayyy…
I give up…I'll make it more obvious next time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynoCrgl2gj0
Not to defend ol' Walnuts! or anything, but back in the 70's that was a satirical song played on the Dr. Demento show.
I bet if we sent a naked John Bolton to Iran I would vomit just thinking about a naked John Bolton.
I bet you won't be the only blargh.
Until I see it on HuffPo in size 42 lettering, it aint happening. #fuck, not this again.
Time to head over to the WaPo opinion page and read about how George Bush is finally bringing democracy to the middle east.
It was all over Pox news days ago. Hah. The Waah!Poo. Late as usual.
Oh, this must be part of that "Coming Insurrection" thing that Beck was talking about. Even though the protests are against a theocratic government, it's clearly past of a jihadist conspiracy
Wasn't Beck premature on his "Coming Insurrection"?
Insurrectio praecox.
If your insurrection lasts for more than 4 countries, consult your blackboard-pimp.
That's "Islamo-Communist jihadist conspiracy" to you, infidel.
One prediction: as with the Egyptian and the earlier Iranian protests, the tech-heads and media will greatly exaggerate the role of Facebook and Twitter (in fact it appears they're already doing so).
Finally, changing my location in Twitter to Tehran is paying off!
Iran needs a bullet proof vest revolution.
Like the collapse of the Soviet Union, the collapse of Middle Eastern dictatorships will leave the paranoid Right (well, let's just say Right) without a bogeyman of choice, and without justification for the military-security state we currently enjoy. Wonder who the next one will be? Better get busy with your China-bashing, guys!
They like picking at the scab that is Russia. But my money is going on Mexico as the bogeyman of choice.
Hey, a lot of them were trying to turn China into the new enemy before 9/11 lead them to settle on the Muslims. Remember what an outrage it was when one of our planes that was spying on China crashed, and they wouldn't give it back?
True story: Chatting with Bill Clinton about this at a July 4th, 2001 party. He said he got a call from China when this happened from the Premier then (Deng?), and he said, "What's with this Bush guy? He's talking all tough, so now I have to talk tough! At least when you accidentally bombed us, you said sorry, and the matter was all over." Ol' Bill thought that was pretty interesting.
'accidentally' bombed? Those Chinks are so gullible!
No they aren't. No one really believes Bill's "accident" story. I remember thinking that with all his practice, surely he could come up with a better excuse.
And by "chatting with Bill Clinton" you mean what exactly?
I used to live in the same town as Bill, and was a Democratic activist there. He and Hillary came to my friend's house for a July 4th party. (They loved the hometown thing.) There were about 25 people there. He "held court" in the living room with 10 of us for about 2 hours. Hillary was in the back yard most of the time. The whole thing was pretty surreal.
Bill has an almost photographic memory, and was fascinating on subjects ranging from education to Yeltsin, to Israel, to China and the NRA, etc.
I'm impressed. I have met two presidents (never really chatted) but they were, unfortunately, Carter and W.
Yeah, it was an awesome pay-off for a lifetime of activism.
He was full of gems like: "I know he drank too much, but Yeltsin was one of the smartest men I ever met." and, "King Hussein and Rabin were like brothers. They could really get into each other's heads," and "even the French were surprised that Arafat wouldn't take the deal with Israel," and "the power of the NRA is the real untold story of Gore vs. Bush."
Zhu Rongji was PM then, I think. Former dean of the business school at Tsinghua U., China's best.
Trump is way ahead on this front. He will be the new Teabagger king and run for president on his fiscal bona fides, conveniently fogetting that he somehow managed to lose money running a casino for fuck's sake.
His company lost money, who says HE did?
There's always Mexico.
Maybe we can dream up a Mexico/North Korea plot? That would be good for some foaming at the mouth.
They need another Zimmermann Telegram. Worked before.
Or we can just move the border further south on our maps, claim it's always been there, and send troops in to provoke them; that worked before too.
Don't forget uncle Hugo.
You are forgetting Syria and by extension Hamas. In fact, if Iran goes pro-West, it'll let the AIPAC jock sniffers get back to their favorite pasttime – worrying about Israel's impending doom from a bunch of rock-throwing kids and unaimed rockets and siphoning off billions in money to prop up the "right kind" of theocracy. Never mind that the IDF could support itself at this point and probably has more nukes per capita than we do.
It's already started.
From CNN: "The National Bank's headquarters in Cairo continued to function during Sunday's protests, with disgruntled staff taking turns to work and demonstrate."
Damn–just when I get to the front of the line the teller puts up the This Window Closed sign and goes out in front to throw rocks.
With some modifications Bolton would make an excellent bomb. First we hollow him out…
MG, how do ya hollow-out someone who is so hollow already?
Oh wow man! You just blew my mind man.
♫♬Call Roto-Rooter, that's the name
And away goes Bolton, bombs away!♪♬
Wow, Wilford Brimley is one seriously pissed off guy.
It's not a riot; it's an orgy. Take off your pants & Ahmadinnerjacket.
The best part is the Iranian government distinguishing this from Egypt by calling this uprising "counter-revolutionary", which apparently makes it entirely different.
This line, from the head of Iran's Revolutionary Guard, is also wonkette worthy:
“The conspirators are nothing but corpses” . Lovely individual.
So that's where Neilist went.
Wouldn't it be nice if there was a version of the Whack-a-Mole game that had a likeness of Bolton pop up rather than a mole?
This cannot be happening. It is a figment of the Radical Right's most devout wishes of what would be. What do the Iranians have to complain of? Their spokesperson/ talking leader had the audacity to challenge the West's strict code of dark suits for political leaders. He rigorously scours the world for the the cheapest looking light gray suits. If that doesn't set an example for the world, I don't know what to call courage.
Fortunately, we don't have to worry about revolution spreading to the U.S., as that would involve too many of us getting up off the couch.
Go Arabs
Go Persians
Its your birthday
If only this were sexy and funny (is there a difference?) we could call it a Bedroom Farsi. But it isn't.
Bolt-on needs a Strap-on.
Does anyone remember the women protesting in Iran the last time? To the bunks! Er, barricades!
is it me, or are they all chanting "I love Pizza Hut"?
Take THAT, Herman Cain.
I could have sworn I heard "Boo urns!"
Zima just doesn't quit, does it?
BTW, the Emo Egyptian Revolution is the best one this year. It had camels and antiquities and teen angst and a modern-day Pharoah, even, all set against the backdrop of pyramids.
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