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Needs moar hobbitz.The Wonkette team made it through two of CPAC’s three days before a combination of disgust and alcohol poisoning finally sent us running, so we’re a little late tonight with the thrilling news (?) that Doctor Ron Paul won the wingnut straw poll! Ron Paul is going to be president again! So awesome. He won last year, too. This means Ron Paul is now a two-term president and will have to “stand down for socialism” in 2012. Who said winning was easy? Also, he got less than a third of the vote, which proves nothing more than 1) Ron Paul always gets his loyalists to vote in the straw poll, and B) The Republican “conservatives” are just a confused & jumbled mess today. They really don’t know what to do. Romney is still Mormon and Liberal, Sarah Palin is still some halfwit teevee grifter with a never-ending series of tawdry scandals, Donald Trump is a dumb muppet clown, etc. (Why is Donald Trump even mentioned? Oh right, because he decided to show up. Doesn’t take much to create “star power” at CPAC.)

The Washington Post reports:

Rep. Ron Paul (R-Tex.) won the always-anticipated, rarely predictive presidential straw poll Saturday at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, but he did so with less than a third of the vote – a result that suggested the energy of conservative activists at the gathering has not coalesced behind a single candidate.

Winning for the second year in a row, Paul carried about 30 percent of the 3,742 votes cast. Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney came in second with about 23 percent. Beyond that the vote splintered, with no potential candidate rising above the single digits.

Meaning … Sarah Palin got 3%. She’s so done. Even Michele Bachmann did better, by a single percentage point:

Where's Hosni?It’s good to see that “Former Godfather’s Pizza CEO Herman” got double the support of Haley Barbour! [Washington Post/Slate]

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