YOU'VE GOT MAIL  7:03 pm February 11, 2011

Washington Post Launching Delightful New Personalized ‘Google News’

by Ken Layne

What's Hot on the World Wide Web?Do you love Google News but wish it was somehow tied up with the Washington Post? Then you will really be delighted to hear that the WaPo is launching something called “Trove,” which is a magical way to apparently personalize the news you wish to see on your screen — sort of the way you’ve been able to do on the Internet, using Excite! News or RSS or Bloglines or whatever, since the mid-1990s. But this will be different! (Right? It has to be different in some way, we assume, even though assuming anything sane is extremely dangerous when discussing the Washington Post.) Let’s take a look at all the personalized options you’ll enjoy whenever the “Washington Trove” appears and is quickly and totally forgotten by the few who bother to look at it, once.

You've got mail! (From Richard Cohen not wearing a shirt)[Wall Street Journal/DCist]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 93 comments }

Badtux February 11, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Wow, so I can have Pravda on the Potomac streaming to my web browser looking just like a 1990's CGI.pl script? Way to move into the 20th century, WaPo!

Tommmcatt February 11, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Do you love Google News but wish it was somehow tied up with the Washington Post?

I don't know. Do you like unsugared lukewarm oatmeal but wish it were somehow mixed up with bloody diarrhea and corn bits?

gef05 February 11, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Do you like fried chicken without salt but wish it was somehow mixed up with infanticide?

Lascauxcaveman February 11, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Do you like Santorum? (either definition)

user-of-owls February 11, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Do you like vichyssoise with Christine O'Donnell's pubic hairs as garnish?

V572625694 February 11, 2011 at 8:49 pm

Do you like calamari gelato?

horsedreamer_1 February 12, 2011 at 11:55 pm

Some chic DC restaurant will feature that on its menu… & get profiled in Wonkabout.

lulzmonger February 12, 2011 at 11:51 pm

Do you like masturbation but wish it was somehow linked to being skinned alive while writhing in a vat of turpentine?

KenLayIsAlive February 13, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Do you like missionary position sex, but wish it somehow involved Richard Cohen?

PristineODummy February 14, 2011 at 5:08 pm

When you put it that way … I think I'll just skip lunch. And dinner.

Beowoof February 11, 2011 at 7:09 pm

I like the gray with blue links with such a visually stunning page and Dana Milbank and Richard Cohen, how could I not go and personalize my msnbc page.

nounverb911 February 11, 2011 at 7:10 pm

Version 1.0 is available on the Apple Newton only.

PsycWench February 11, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Damn you! That'll learn me not to read all the comments before posting.

donner_froh February 11, 2011 at 7:10 pm

Personalize RCohen's pee? No thank you, rotting corpse of Katherine Graham, but thanks for thinking of me.

sati_demise February 12, 2011 at 12:13 am

Grahams corpse is never rotting, spinning like a top discourages bacteria.

smokefilledroommate February 11, 2011 at 7:13 pm

TROVE sounds like HAL's brother.

LionelHutzEsq February 11, 2011 at 9:11 pm

I thought he was Trig's brother.

smokefilledroommate February 12, 2011 at 11:53 pm

I could make a mean joke about the fictional 'DS-TRIG1000', but I just did.

LionelHutzEsq February 12, 2011 at 4:04 am

I assumed it was Trig's brother. Equally retarded.

JoshuaNorton February 11, 2011 at 7:15 pm

Never thought I'd see the day when somebody was actually ripping off Drudge.

Bet that would zip right through one of them high tech 1200 bps dial-up modem thingies all the kids are using now-a-days.

Radiotherapy February 11, 2011 at 7:38 pm

I think it plays well with DOS too.

V572625694 February 11, 2011 at 8:50 pm

As long as none of the file names is longer than eight-dot-three.

neiltheblaze February 11, 2011 at 7:15 pm

But see, unlike with the paper edition, I can't draw an arrow through Richard Cohen's head, or erase his eyes or anything. I prefer a more interactive experience.

lulzmonger February 12, 2011 at 11:54 pm

True. Also, I've found that although their smoothness is beyond reproach, both desktops & laptops have a serious deficit when it comes to absorbency.

donner_froh February 11, 2011 at 7:21 pm

According to the WSJ, initial users "will have to sign up for Trove through a Facebook account, so interests and other information from their profiles, along with fan pages they joined, will be reflected on the news site."

Is the Washington Post really stupid or do they think their readers are more stupid than they are?

fuflans February 11, 2011 at 7:39 pm

yes.

LionelHutzEsq February 11, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Without question.

littlebigdaddy February 11, 2011 at 10:39 pm

If you have seen the shit they've been publishing (e.g., today, a big story about some guy who had a platonic relationship with a co-worker), I would say there is really no floor to the stoopid among the readers.

sati_demise February 12, 2011 at 12:15 am

yikes!

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 11, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Do you love Google News but wish it was somehow tied up with the Washington Post?

I'm there! Just give me ten minutes to dial up my Prodigy account.

PocketsTheClown February 11, 2011 at 7:35 pm

I'll see you and raise a compuserve HA HAAAA

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 11, 2011 at 7:42 pm

HA HAAAA

Nelson Muntz or Phil Ken Sebben?

PocketsTheClown February 11, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Raul Julia a la Addams Family.

LionelHutzEsq February 11, 2011 at 9:13 pm

If it was Sebben, we would have to go to threat condition Black Watch Plaid.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 11, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Columnists on dowels!

WriteyWriterton February 12, 2011 at 12:46 am

And I'll re-raise with my first computer with the CPM operating system that was going to last as long as DOS.

horsedreamer_1 February 12, 2011 at 11:57 pm

Don't knock Gregg Easterbrook's in-home e:mail provider.

(I assume he also has e:mail thru coloradocollege.edu, brookingsinstitute.dumb, theatlantic.insufferable, & tnr.eatshitpoorz.)

PsycWench February 11, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Does it work on my Newton?

WriteyWriterton February 12, 2011 at 12:47 am

Does anything work on your Newton?

imissopus February 12, 2011 at 1:04 am

Leading Edge Model D or GTFO.

PocketsTheClown February 11, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Looks awesome on palm zire 72 in COLOR

ChessieNefercat February 12, 2011 at 11:53 am

I love my little Palm Z22 (no internet thingy) and use it every day. Also my ten dollar tracfone. I somehow stumble through life, though obviously not as one of the cool kids. Sniffle. I think I'll get off the computer now and go watch something from my cheapskate cable plan (shopping, come-to-Jesus, and rerun channels mostly) on my big heavy not-flat-screen TV.

But goodness gracious, that WaPo thing is hideous!

PresBeeblebrox February 11, 2011 at 7:31 pm

Needz moar Lynx running on Unix.

PristineODummy February 14, 2011 at 5:12 pm

It already looks like it.

chascates February 11, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Only one page to bring me the thoughts of Richard Cohen, David Broder, Charles Krauthammer, Kathleen Parker, AND George Will? Finally, Web 2.0!!

Actually, make that Web. -2.0.

LionelHutzEsq February 11, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Thoughts?

edgydrifter February 11, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Twas brillig, and the WaPo Trove.
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the Cillizza-goves,
And the Cohen raths outgrabe.

Pithaughn February 11, 2011 at 8:03 pm

up thumb for really obscure poetry reference and sooooooooo many PPPPPPPPP's. I will follow you: "willfully, heroic and covered in napalm. Light me. Enflame my heroic spirit, fan the flames of my weeping metaphoric Neil Young , Kent state, flower in a buhddist's gun barrel"
I made that up.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 11, 2011 at 8:50 pm

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The editor's pen went snicker-snack!
He left it…

…oh, wait, we're talking about the Washington Post, aren't we? Never mind.

Negropolis February 13, 2011 at 3:32 am

Jabberwocky, eh?

Nice, nice.

Radiotherapy February 11, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Today we are all tied to the Post.

Beowoof February 11, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Only in a bondage fantasy of Charles Kraut-hammer.

Rarian Rakista February 12, 2011 at 3:20 am

Who said anything about fantasy, he probably has a second family down in his basement made up of adults who used to be kids on milk cartons.

PsycWench February 11, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Off topic but I felt this display of love for
Ronald Reagan
should be shared.

PocketsTheClown February 11, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Thats it. I'm moving to France.

Pithaughn February 11, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Oh, win and love! My wench reciev'th a pinch! Cast thy seed into Grendels maelstrom of modern feminineness, preach love peace and justice.

EdFlintstone February 11, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Oh so thats where I should ejaculate.

imissopus February 12, 2011 at 1:07 am

Or take a giant crap. Or both.

PristineODummy February 14, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Only if you don't think it will give, er, birth to something hideous.

V572625694 February 11, 2011 at 8:51 pm

At least she's in good shape.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 11, 2011 at 8:58 pm

…this display of love for
Ronald Reagan should be shared.

Oh, don't worry, I'm sure it will be. Quite extensively.

LionelHutzEsq February 11, 2011 at 9:22 pm

They buried Reagan in a girls Ass?

It is probably what he always wanted.

Negropolis February 14, 2011 at 11:58 pm

You have just won the future, my friend.

Beowoof February 12, 2011 at 12:23 am

I keep telling my students that laser tattoo removal is going to be huge, and there is more evidence of that belief.

Dudleydidwrong February 12, 2011 at 4:56 pm

I grasped her smouldering young hips gently in both of my trembling hands and roughly turned her around so that her winsome, tear-streaked face was away from me.

"Kneel, woman!" I ordered. With a heavy shove from my hands she instantly obeyed, falling to her knees in luscious, quivering fear.

I slowly reached around and undid the top button of her stone washed blue jeans, and followed that move with a quick down stroke of her zipper. I slid her jeans downward and her creamy white skin appeared in all of its glory.

I unzipped my fly and brought my fully-erect member into the open. I was ready for action.

I pushed upward on her black T-shirt so that I could move my hands beneath her and cup her small breasts encased in a black bra.

There appeared before me a message, tattooed upon the small of her back, just above the hemispheric division of her sweet round ass:

"Ronald Wilson Reagan"
1911-2004"

She yelped in surprise as I projectile vomited upon her. Unable to help myself, I vomited again and again before she could jump to her feet and, with a horrendeous scream, run away, leaving me stunned and alone.

I lay there amidst my stomach contents. "Holy shit!" I uttered to myself. "I wonder what she has tattooed on her lower abdomen! I'll bet it is a photo of The Great Communicator, nibbling her lawn."

Rape prevention methods are cruel at best.

HistoriCat February 13, 2011 at 10:10 am

Up until the projectile vomiting, I was thinking Bill O'Reilly or Newt Gingrich.

Negropolis February 15, 2011 at 12:01 am

Mommy! Someone's being nasty on the internet!

just above the hemispheric division

Thumbs for slipping in the term "hemispheric division."

Come here a minute February 11, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Commodore 64 FTW!!!!

Do they support Gopher?

Pithaughn February 11, 2011 at 8:06 pm

TRS 80. Long live Tandy!

smokefilledroommate February 11, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Screw you both. VIC-20's where it's at, yo.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 11, 2011 at 9:01 pm

I'm posting this with a Babbage's Difference Engine. Beat that!

jim89048 February 11, 2011 at 9:03 pm

Mine was daisy-chained out to 32, had to use both sides of the cassette drive!

smokefilledroommate February 12, 2011 at 11:59 pm

Wow. That's sexy–seriously. Dorkgirl nerdgasm!
?SYNTAX ERROR

V572625694 February 11, 2011 at 8:52 pm

IBM System 360 w/core memory. PCAM data entry, bitchez!

LionelHutzEsq February 11, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Unless I can run it off my BASIC cart on my 2600, I don't see what the point is.

bagofmice February 11, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Technically, it's IE 2, a reskinned and bugfixed version of NCSA mosaic. One of the first browsers EVAR!

HistoriCat February 11, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Netscape or GTFO.

bagofmice February 12, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Did netscape touch you on the throbber?

LionelHutzEsq February 14, 2011 at 12:22 am

Netscape is how I learned to touch my throbber.

fuflans February 11, 2011 at 7:46 pm

rcohen's personalized start page is 'rcohen' stories, reader's digest jokes and an error accessing david denby?

way to appeal to that '71-83' year old demographic, wapo.

angryclownspawn February 11, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Richard Cohen sure reads a lot of Richard Cohen. That explains so much.

Rarian Rakista February 12, 2011 at 3:22 am

WaPo human centipede ouroboros baby! We have the technology, now we just need a creepy German to start.

Jukesgrrl February 11, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Dana Milbank's haircut.
Richard Cohen's beard.
David Broder's intelligence.
George Will's personality.

Yes, indeed, a virtual Virtual Treasure TROVE.

mourningnmerica February 11, 2011 at 8:04 pm

"…a magical way to apparently personalize the news you wish to see on your screen…" Hey, they already have that. It's called Fox News.

Come here a minute February 11, 2011 at 8:14 pm

You have to be a certain type of old nerd to appreciate that "screen". Bravo, Ken! (?)

user-of-owls February 11, 2011 at 8:17 pm

C:>lame

Mahousu February 11, 2011 at 10:23 pm

You may laugh, but "An Error Has Occurred" was the most insightful, interesting article I've seen in the Post all week. And I never would have found it without TROVE.

littlebigdaddy February 11, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Well, it IS a trove of male menopause, fo sure! If you like that sort of thing.

LiveToServeYa February 12, 2011 at 11:24 am

Personalized news! Can I make mine filter out any mention of the Palin woman?

ChessieNefercat February 12, 2011 at 11:56 am

Goodness, we are old. Where are the baffled youngs asking "huh?"

gurukalehuru February 12, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Even the name sucks. Sounds like a cross between Troll and Rove.

AtlanticCapers February 12, 2011 at 11:35 pm

I guess the Bob Woodward lackeys found a way to block the WikiLeaks content.

lulzmonger February 13, 2011 at 12:02 am

All Trove, no Treasure.

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