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Washington Post Launching Delightful New Personalized ‘Google News’

What's Hot on the World Wide Web?Do you love Google News but wish it was somehow tied up with the Washington Post? Then you will really be delighted to hear that the WaPo is launching something called “Trove,” which is a magical way to apparently personalize the news you wish to see on your screen — sort of the way you’ve been able to do on the Internet, using Excite! News or RSS or Bloglines or whatever, since the mid-1990s. But this will be different! (Right? It has to be different in some way, we assume, even though assuming anything sane is extremely dangerous when discussing the Washington Post.) Let’s take a look at all the personalized options you’ll enjoy whenever the “Washington Trove” appears and is quickly and totally forgotten by the few who bother to look at it, once.

You've got mail! (From Richard Cohen not wearing a shirt)[Wall Street Journal/DCist]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Badtux

    Wow, so I can have Pravda on the Potomac streaming to my web browser looking just like a 1990's CGI.pl script? Way to move into the 20th century, WaPo!

  • Tommmcatt

    Do you love Google News but wish it was somehow tied up with the Washington Post?

    I don't know. Do you like unsugared lukewarm oatmeal but wish it were somehow mixed up with bloody diarrhea and corn bits?

    • gef05

      Do you like fried chicken without salt but wish it was somehow mixed up with infanticide?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Do you like Santorum? (either definition)

    • user-of-owls

      Do you like vichyssoise with Christine O'Donnell's pubic hairs as garnish?

    • V572625694

      Do you like calamari gelato?

      • horsedreamer_1

        Some chic DC restaurant will feature that on its menu… & get profiled in Wonkabout.

    • lulzmonger

      Do you like masturbation but wish it was somehow linked to being skinned alive while writhing in a vat of turpentine?

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

      Do you like missionary position sex, but wish it somehow involved Richard Cohen?

    • PristineODummy

      When you put it that way … I think I'll just skip lunch. And dinner.

  • Beowoof

    I like the gray with blue links with such a visually stunning page and Dana Milbank and Richard Cohen, how could I not go and personalize my msnbc page.

  • nounverb911

    Version 1.0 is available on the Apple Newton only.

    • PsycWench

      Damn you! That'll learn me not to read all the comments before posting.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Personalize RCohen's pee? No thank you, rotting corpse of Katherine Graham, but thanks for thinking of me.

    • sati_demise

      Grahams corpse is never rotting, spinning like a top discourages bacteria.

  • smokefilledroommate

    TROVE sounds like HAL's brother.

    • LionelHutzEsq

      I thought he was Trig's brother.

      • smokefilledroommate

        I could make a mean joke about the fictional 'DS-TRIG1000', but I just did.

    • LionelHutzEsq

      I assumed it was Trig's brother. Equally retarded.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Never thought I'd see the day when somebody was actually ripping off Drudge.

    Bet that would zip right through one of them high tech 1200 bps dial-up modem thingies all the kids are using now-a-days.

    • Radiotherapy

      I think it plays well with DOS too.

      • V572625694

        As long as none of the file names is longer than eight-dot-three.

  • neiltheblaze

    But see, unlike with the paper edition, I can't draw an arrow through Richard Cohen's head, or erase his eyes or anything. I prefer a more interactive experience.

    • lulzmonger

      True. Also, I've found that although their smoothness is beyond reproach, both desktops & laptops have a serious deficit when it comes to absorbency.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    According to the WSJ, initial users "will have to sign up for Trove through a Facebook account, so interests and other information from their profiles, along with fan pages they joined, will be reflected on the news site."

    Is the Washington Post really stupid or do they think their readers are more stupid than they are?

    • fuflans

      yes.

      • LionelHutzEsq

        Without question.

    • littlebigdaddy

      If you have seen the shit they've been publishing (e.g., today, a big story about some guy who had a platonic relationship with a co-worker), I would say there is really no floor to the stoopid among the readers.

    • sati_demise

      yikes!

  • Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

    Do you love Google News but wish it was somehow tied up with the Washington Post?

    I'm there! Just give me ten minutes to dial up my Prodigy account.

    • PocketsTheClown

      I'll see you and raise a compuserve HA HAAAA

      • Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

        HA HAAAA

        Nelson Muntz or Phil Ken Sebben?

        • PocketsTheClown

          Raul Julia a la Addams Family.

        • LionelHutzEsq

          If it was Sebben, we would have to go to threat condition Black Watch Plaid.

          • Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

            Columnists on dowels!

      • WriteyWriterton

        And I'll re-raise with my first computer with the CPM operating system that was going to last as long as DOS.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Don't knock Gregg Easterbrook's in-home e:mail provider.

        (I assume he also has e:mail thru coloradocollege.edu, brookingsinstitute.dumb, theatlantic.insufferable, & tnr.eatshitpoorz.)

    • PsycWench

      Does it work on my Newton?

      • WriteyWriterton

        Does anything work on your Newton?

        • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

          Leading Edge Model D or GTFO.

  • PocketsTheClown

    Looks awesome on palm zire 72 in COLOR

    • ChessieNefercat

      I love my little Palm Z22 (no internet thingy) and use it every day. Also my ten dollar tracfone. I somehow stumble through life, though obviously not as one of the cool kids. Sniffle. I think I'll get off the computer now and go watch something from my cheapskate cable plan (shopping, come-to-Jesus, and rerun channels mostly) on my big heavy not-flat-screen TV.

      But goodness gracious, that WaPo thing is hideous!

  • http://www.wonkette.com PresBeeblebrox

    Needz moar Lynx running on Unix.

    • PristineODummy

      It already looks like it.

  • chascates

    Only one page to bring me the thoughts of Richard Cohen, David Broder, Charles Krauthammer, Kathleen Parker, AND George Will? Finally, Web 2.0!!

    Actually, make that Web. -2.0.

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Thoughts?

  • edgydrifter

    Twas brillig, and the WaPo Trove.
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the Cillizza-goves,
    And the Cohen raths outgrabe.

    • Pithaughn

      up thumb for really obscure poetry reference and sooooooooo many PPPPPPPPP's. I will follow you: "willfully, heroic and covered in napalm. Light me. Enflame my heroic spirit, fan the flames of my weeping metaphoric Neil Young , Kent state, flower in a buhddist's gun barrel"
      I made that up.

    • Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

      One, two! One, two! And through and through
      The editor's pen went snicker-snack!
      He left it…

      …oh, wait, we're talking about the Washington Post, aren't we? Never mind.

    • Negropolis

      Jabberwocky, eh?

      Nice, nice.

  • Radiotherapy

    Today we are all tied to the Post.

    • Beowoof

      Only in a bondage fantasy of Charles Kraut-hammer.

      • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

        Who said anything about fantasy, he probably has a second family down in his basement made up of adults who used to be kids on milk cartons.

  • PsycWench

    Off topic but I felt this display of love for
    Ronald Reagan
    should be shared.

    • PocketsTheClown

      Thats it. I'm moving to France.

    • Pithaughn

      Oh, win and love! My wench reciev'th a pinch! Cast thy seed into Grendels maelstrom of modern feminineness, preach love peace and justice.

    • EdFlintstone

      Oh so thats where I should ejaculate.

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        Or take a giant crap. Or both.

      • PristineODummy

        Only if you don't think it will give, er, birth to something hideous.

    • V572625694

      At least she's in good shape.

    • Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

      …this display of love for
      Ronald Reagan should be shared.

      Oh, don't worry, I'm sure it will be. Quite extensively.

    • LionelHutzEsq

      They buried Reagan in a girls Ass?

      It is probably what he always wanted.

      • Negropolis

        You have just won the future, my friend.

    • Beowoof

      I keep telling my students that laser tattoo removal is going to be huge, and there is more evidence of that belief.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I grasped her smouldering young hips gently in both of my trembling hands and roughly turned her around so that her winsome, tear-streaked face was away from me.

      "Kneel, woman!" I ordered. With a heavy shove from my hands she instantly obeyed, falling to her knees in luscious, quivering fear.

      I slowly reached around and undid the top button of her stone washed blue jeans, and followed that move with a quick down stroke of her zipper. I slid her jeans downward and her creamy white skin appeared in all of its glory.

      I unzipped my fly and brought my fully-erect member into the open. I was ready for action.

      I pushed upward on her black T-shirt so that I could move my hands beneath her and cup her small breasts encased in a black bra.

      There appeared before me a message, tattooed upon the small of her back, just above the hemispheric division of her sweet round ass:

      "Ronald Wilson Reagan"
      1911-2004"

      She yelped in surprise as I projectile vomited upon her. Unable to help myself, I vomited again and again before she could jump to her feet and, with a horrendeous scream, run away, leaving me stunned and alone.

      I lay there amidst my stomach contents. "Holy shit!" I uttered to myself. "I wonder what she has tattooed on her lower abdomen! I'll bet it is a photo of The Great Communicator, nibbling her lawn."

      Rape prevention methods are cruel at best.

      • HistoriCat

        Up until the projectile vomiting, I was thinking Bill O'Reilly or Newt Gingrich.

      • Negropolis

        Mommy! Someone's being nasty on the internet!

        just above the hemispheric division

        Thumbs for slipping in the term "hemispheric division."

  • Come here a minute

    Commodore 64 FTW!!!!

    Do they support Gopher?

    • Pithaughn

      TRS 80. Long live Tandy!

    • smokefilledroommate

      Screw you both. VIC-20's where it's at, yo.

      • Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

        I'm posting this with a Babbage's Difference Engine. Beat that!

      • jim89048

        Mine was daisy-chained out to 32, had to use both sides of the cassette drive!

        • smokefilledroommate

          Wow. That's sexy–seriously. Dorkgirl nerdgasm!
          ?SYNTAX ERROR

    • V572625694

      IBM System 360 w/core memory. PCAM data entry, bitchez!

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Unless I can run it off my BASIC cart on my 2600, I don't see what the point is.

    • bagofmice

      Technically, it's IE 2, a reskinned and bugfixed version of NCSA mosaic. One of the first browsers EVAR!

      • HistoriCat

        Netscape or GTFO.

        • bagofmice

          Did netscape touch you on the throbber?

          • LionelHutzEsq

            Netscape is how I learned to touch my throbber.

  • fuflans

    rcohen's personalized start page is 'rcohen' stories, reader's digest jokes and an error accessing david denby?

    way to appeal to that '71-83' year old demographic, wapo.

  • angryclownspawn

    Richard Cohen sure reads a lot of Richard Cohen. That explains so much.

    • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

      WaPo human centipede ouroboros baby! We have the technology, now we just need a creepy German to start.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Dana Milbank's haircut.
    Richard Cohen's beard.
    David Broder's intelligence.
    George Will's personality.

    Yes, indeed, a virtual Virtual Treasure TROVE.

  • mourningnmerica

    "…a magical way to apparently personalize the news you wish to see on your screen…" Hey, they already have that. It's called Fox News.

  • Come here a minute

    You have to be a certain type of old nerd to appreciate that "screen". Bravo, Ken! (?)

  • user-of-owls

    C:>lame

  • Mahousu

    You may laugh, but "An Error Has Occurred" was the most insightful, interesting article I've seen in the Post all week. And I never would have found it without TROVE.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Well, it IS a trove of male menopause, fo sure! If you like that sort of thing.

  • LiveToServeYa

    Personalized news! Can I make mine filter out any mention of the Palin woman?

  • ChessieNefercat

    Goodness, we are old. Where are the baffled youngs asking "huh?"

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Even the name sucks. Sounds like a cross between Troll and Rove.

  • AtlanticCapers

    I guess the Bob Woodward lackeys found a way to block the WikiLeaks content.

  • lulzmonger

    All Trove, no Treasure.