BANQUETS AND SUCH  12:15 pm February 11, 2011

Jim DeMint Also May Run For President of Losing To Obama

by Jack Stuef

U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint’s keynote speech next month to an Iowa forum for Republican presidential candidates has fueled hopes among some evangelicals and conservative activists that the South Carolinian will launch a White House run.

DeMint, overwhelmingly elected to his second Senate term in November, will deliver the evening banquet address to a dozen GOP presidential hopefuls — and hundreds of party stalwarts — March 26 at a Des Moines hotel, scarcely 10 months before Iowa’s leadoff presidential House caucuses.

Scarcely! Looks like this presidential election will be another Jim DeMint-Alvin Greene showdown. That’s a lot like the relationship between Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas. So expect Greene to win this time. [The State]

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Hola wonkerados.

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ifthethunderdontgetya February 11, 2011 at 12:21 pm

…has fueled hopes among some evangelicals and conservative activists that the South Carolinian will launch a White House run.

Not to mention, certain Wonkette common taters, who look forward to the entertainment. Our politicians will never do anything good for us, so at least they should make us laugh.

Come here a minute February 11, 2011 at 12:47 pm

As I remind everyone who picks their favorite Republican presidential candidate for the larfs:


Pithaughn February 11, 2011 at 8:22 pm

and Sessions! Sessions for the LOL and so forth win!!

V572625694 February 11, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Overhead at DNC HQ: "Please please please please do it do it do it do it…"

Bonzos_Bed_Time February 11, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Just don't throw me in the briar patch!

donner_froh February 11, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Its going to be easier to create a list of those not running for the GOP nomination.

HistoriCat February 11, 2011 at 2:08 pm

I would just like to announce that I will NOT be seeking the 2012 Republican nomination for President of the United States.

Unless the people really, really beg me.

Or I can get some sweet monies out of it.

horsedreamer_1 February 11, 2011 at 2:33 pm


sati_demise February 11, 2011 at 2:51 pm

is that you, Donald?

Pithaughn February 11, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Mr. POpe? Does the pope have birf sertifucut?

nounverb911 February 11, 2011 at 12:29 pm

I can see the campaign signs now:

Dementos for DeMint!

GOPCrusher February 11, 2011 at 12:31 pm

It will be his Waterloo. If he loses, it will break him.

PsycWench February 11, 2011 at 12:33 pm

The human capacity for wishful thinking cannot be overestimated.

Pithaughn February 11, 2011 at 8:27 pm

Esplains the GOP obsession with Reaganomics. 30 years and still, the trickle is just rancid , stale urine in our mouths.

Negropolis February 13, 2011 at 5:54 am

I don't know about you, but I've tried to keep my mouth shut and just breath through my nose.

edgydrifter February 11, 2011 at 12:36 pm

$5 says DeMint calls the president "Toby" at some point during the primaries.

GOPCrusher February 11, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Oh no. He'll come to Iowa and be speechafying in front of a sea of elderly Iowa GOP voters, get comfortable in his surroundings and break out a full blown N*GGER, when referring to the President.

horsedreamer_1 February 11, 2011 at 1:57 pm

So the President has been known to break into the kitchen & make his own Yule nog, in violation of the First Lady's dictum against fatty foods. No reason to deride him as a Nogger.


GOPCrusher February 11, 2011 at 2:58 pm

But we can all agree that Michelle Obama's obsession with fatty foods, makes her a Nagger.

Pithaughn February 11, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Little known fact, before SS limo days, she was called the Navigator!

Pithaughn February 12, 2011 at 11:40 am

NaGavator. Nag A Vator. My son made up that word as a toddler. He still funny.

MinAgain February 11, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Is it to early to start with the "DeMinted presidential candidate from South Carolina" jokes?

PsycWench February 11, 2011 at 12:56 pm

I question your use of the word "start".

Fare la Volpe February 11, 2011 at 12:41 pm

I'm sure those "I Got Demintia!" buttons will be big sellers.

Lascauxcaveman February 11, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Whoaa! This is the guy who beat Alvin Greene? He's that good?

Better keep one eye on the rearview mirror, Obama.

Crank_Tango February 11, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Not just beat, but overwhelmingly whipped a black guy in south carolina, so there are his bona fides right there.

Negropolis February 13, 2011 at 5:58 am

And, since all black people are the same, he'll run over Obama just the same!

Poor fool, this DeMint is.

SorosBot February 11, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Aren't there already enough insane, authoritarian fundamentalists who are so far right they make Mussolini look moderate running for the GOP nomination? The crazy vote could get split and allow someone reasonable to get the nomination, but then most of the sane Republicans have abandoned the party; look at how all the semi-reasonable candidates are pretending to be crazy. Both of them.

yellowerdog February 11, 2011 at 12:56 pm

He'll carry South Carolina, Arizona, Oklahoma, Alabama, and be able to say he 'fought a good fight' before disappearing in to a morass of fucktardia

Bonzos_Bed_Time February 11, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Laughing all the way to the bank where he cashes in the donations.

Iam_Who_Iam February 12, 2011 at 6:08 am

And he'll carry Texas, Idaho, Kentucky, Tennessee, North Dakota, Montana, Utah… oh shit. So, um, there's sane folks in Ohio and Pennsylvania, right?

Bonzos_Bed_Time February 13, 2011 at 12:54 am

It's up for debate.

Negropolis February 13, 2011 at 6:00 am

You forgot Mississippi. Don't ever forget Mississippi. You know, the shittiest of shitholes; you know "We're #50!"

freakishlywrong February 11, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Jim DeMint is an extremist asshole. That is all.

littlebigdaddy February 11, 2011 at 1:38 pm

But minty!

horsedreamer_1 February 11, 2011 at 2:14 pm

So are Shamrock Shakes. Which, by the way, should be returning to menus at the Golden Arches, shortly.

KenLayIsAlive February 11, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Urinal Mint

alfred light February 11, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Yes! More crazy! Good GOP, keep it up! While you're at it, get Tancredo to run again! Hey Gary Bauer, get your sweet cheeks back here! Where's Alan Keyes when you need him? Can't he carpetbag his way back into our collective hearts and minds?

Redhead February 11, 2011 at 1:12 pm

First the list yesterday of the CPAC poll, now this. Is there a single legit candidate? I mean this is all a joke, right?

It's getting harder and harder to tell the Onion stories and the Wonkette commentary from legit, serious news stories.

GOPCrusher February 11, 2011 at 1:27 pm

They started broadcasting the Onion News Network on IFC. Can't tell the difference between that and any other cable news network.

Redhead February 11, 2011 at 3:34 pm

I don't get IFC! :( I haz a sad now. Course, I do get pretty much every other news network, so I guess I'm not missing much…

Graham Cracker February 11, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Onion News is the one where you think the news items are real, Faux New is the one where you are pretty sure everything is a joke.

jim89048 February 12, 2011 at 11:04 am

I thought that was rather magnanimous of Rachel to record that little congratulatory clip for Brooke Alvarez.

ManchuCandidate February 11, 2011 at 1:27 pm

I dunno. What would DeMinty do when he leaves his GOPer enclave where Demrats are better than Alvin Greene (not by much at times)?

horsedreamer_1 February 11, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Pres. De Mint will beget Sen. Nikki Haley. So, I think he'll be cool. She's one of the Good Ones.

HedonismBot February 13, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Are there ANY good ones?

JustPixelz February 11, 2011 at 1:45 pm

His Frenchy name starts with "Dem" which is a big strike against him with Repubicans. Comes from a state named after a girl. And being born in the 20th century makes him pretty left-wing by TP standards.

On the other hand, skin color is OK. And he's got the Jim-Mint'um.

Extemporanus™ February 11, 2011 at 1:54 pm

DeMint/Greene 2012!

horsedreamer_1 February 11, 2011 at 2:03 pm



Labels forsook!

Maman February 11, 2011 at 1:59 pm

You LIE!

EatsBabyDingos February 11, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Is he Gog or Magog. I keep forgetting, and now I am remembering-where is that damn bong?!?!?

PabaBritannica February 11, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Creme DeMint!

jim89048 February 11, 2011 at 2:35 pm

I never considered that "Our Town" could've been about DC, but whatever.

WriteyWriterton February 11, 2011 at 7:09 pm

That song kills. Kills.

Lascauxcaveman February 11, 2011 at 10:49 pm

So, so pretty and poignant. Love her voice. One of the very few things on YouTube I have ever bookmarked.

I'm not a county music fan, but there are exceptions.

jim89048 February 12, 2011 at 10:45 am

First time I heard it was on the soundtrack for the final episode of Northern Exposure. Been a fan ever since.

hagajim February 11, 2011 at 2:38 pm

DeMint, Palin & Bachmann – sounds like the GOP is really starting to line up its collective dream team to take on Barry. And by Dream Team I mean the wet dreams of Wonkette comedy writers everywhere.

HedonismBot February 13, 2011 at 6:36 pm

Sadly, I wouldn't be so sure. A few months out from the 2010 midterms (before the lamestream media started their constant drumbeat of "GOPsweepinNovemberGOPsweep in NovemberGOPsweepinNovember,") I thought the influx of weirdo loser teabagger candidates would be a godsend for Democrats. Turns out, not so much.
Voters really are that stupid.

DaSandman February 11, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Yes indeed, let them run that racist Herman Munster looking fuck, he's make a great vice president for the Witch of Wasilla.

Snarke_Diem February 11, 2011 at 6:36 pm

His surname is so inaccurate – always looks like he's badly flatulent. Certainly not minty fresh . . .

ttommyunger February 11, 2011 at 8:12 pm

DeMint has the look, demeanor and charisma of your local small-town undertaker. He is a humorless fuck whose smile, like Rumsfeld's, is simply a baring of the teeth and is every bit as warm as a "fuck you very much, chump!"

transfatz February 11, 2011 at 11:52 pm

I made a list of Republican presidential candidates but I ran out of paper. And I started with a new roll!

Schmegeg February 12, 2011 at 1:17 am

God I wish I knew how to invent a Fantasy League for the GOP. With a lineup of Santorum, Palin, DeMint, Trump, and the rest, this would be Much Fun.

AddHomonym February 12, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Let's get this going! Here are some ideas for scoring:

Announces exploratory committee: +1
Announces impending announcement: +10
Announces: -3
Acrimonious speech after losing state primary: +50
Inappropriate comment: 0 points (inevitable)
Apologizes "if anyone was offended" by inappropriate comment: +100

C'mon Internet, make this happen!

cheetojeebus February 12, 2011 at 8:29 am

isn't it true that jim demint drove a windowless chevy van? and isn't it also true he would slowly follow groups of school children hoping for a straggler?

jim89048 February 12, 2011 at 11:32 am

He hasn't denied it.

Negropolis February 13, 2011 at 6:03 am

And, thus, it'd be irresponsible not to speculate.

jim89048 February 13, 2011 at 12:58 pm

It's who we are, it's what we do.

Negropolis February 13, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Amen to that.

inedalo February 12, 2011 at 2:55 pm

DeMint will be appointed head of the U.S. Mint when some Repub. beats Obama in
2012. how can they lose? recall that the Supremes Court decided to let anonymous corporations donate as much dirty cash as they want to politicos who will give them what they need.
we should just eliminate congress and let the lobbyists write the laws. save money by getting rid of the middleman.

Negropolis February 13, 2011 at 5:36 am

DeMint, overwhelmingly elected to his second Senate term in November

Mmm…I wonder how that happened? :rolls eyes:

Yes, you are the guy, who even if it's never proven that you were instrumental in fielding Alvin Greene to run against you, you are the guy who will be remembered for running against Alvin Greene, nothing more. You ran against a guy who if not mentally retarded, has Aspergers at the very least.


Negropolis February 13, 2011 at 5:53 am

It's almost like Strom Thurmond never left. His sharper edges were just rounded out, and he was told to chill the fuck out while he inhabits this newish host body.

Troubledog February 13, 2011 at 12:17 pm

I'm sure he prefers his current "kingmaker" role to being beaten up by Obama in 2 years. You should certainly expect DeMint to be a real candidate for 2016. He will have to face whomever Obama picks as his second term VP — so omg pls not Hillary kthx.

horsedreamer_1 February 14, 2011 at 9:42 am

Gore & H.W. Bush are anomalies in the Vice-Presidency. The vast majority, while they may harbour Presidential ambition, never get close. Cheney, Liebermann, Quayle, Mondale (!), Agnew, Henry Wallace, et. al., peaked at no. 2.

I expect no different in 2016, then.

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