GOProud/Andrew Breitbart’s “Big Party” last night was the happening CPAC place to be, because it had an open bar, and because the people there were capable of not shouting about abortion to random strangers every five seconds. Also, your Wonkette caught up with its dawg, Michael Steele, who has opinions about Sarah Palin’s sexy body, apparently. That’s him in the photo, pictured with his newest intern, some kind of gelatinous pale monster head.
A word about Sophie B. Hawkins. Michael Steele, who was chairman of the RNC until last month, showed up at the party and stayed a while. Right before I showed up, in an exchange witnessed by several people who described it to me, Steele met Hawkins. She explained her political philosophy to him.
“I’m not a conservative,” said Hawkins, “but I’d like to [expletive] Sarah Palin.”
Steele reacted quickly. “Well, she’s very attractive,” he said.
“I am in favor of substantial buttocks, and I cannot tell a lie. You other brothers cannot deny.” — Michael Steele [Weigel/photo courtesy Wonkette pal Will Sommer]
{ 137 comments }
I’d like to [expletive] Sarah Palin too. Over the head with a 2 by.
Time to open up a can of expletive, for sure.
Brother here forever, evidently.
Nice shot of the inside of the white guy's nose.
Which white guy?
He did a good job of cleaning the nose candy out before they took the picture.
You guys don't know Jack about white guys.
Actually, I do know a white guy named Jack. Is that the same thing?
The rule of photography is head forward, chin down to avoid that nostril-y look. Your welcome.
But, the up-nose shots hides under-eye bags!
Swab it for coke!
Y'know, the guy was certainly fodder for news-related hilarity on a daily basis while head of the RNC. But in every interview I've seen with him since he got the boot, he's actually provided inciteful and intelligent answers and opinions. He doesn't "act out" any more. He's really boring now.
Yeah, when he showed up on Rachel Maddow, I was yelling at the television: "QUIT BEING REASONABLE, MICHAEL! THIS ISN'T WHAT WE'RE PAYING YOU THE BIG BUCKS FOR!"
Wait? He was on Rachel Maddow? Don't they allow urban people on Faux Noise anymore?
The Man of Steele is Clay Matthews to Rachel's Ellen.
Insight and intelligence have no place in the Republican Party.
What you said. Dude can have a good conversation and strike a pose.
Why did Hawkins just bluntly say "I'd like to [expletive] Sarah Palin" when the title of her one hit song would have been perfect to use instead?
As former Rep. Lee has reminded us, seeking consensual heterosexual sex without money changing hands is the only thing shameful enough to require immediate resignation and banishment from the Beltway.
Damn, I wish I was <a href="http://www.moonbattery.com/Sophie+B+Hawkins+baecbcff09c6.jpg">her lover.
MOO MOO BABY GET OUT THA WAY!
Damn, I wish I was <a href="http://www.moonbattery.com/Sophie+B+Hawkins+baecbcff09c6.jpg">her lover.
MOO MOO BABY GET OUT THA WAY!
They thought he was the valet.
Or perhaps the cater waiter
Perhaps a little tapdance, Mr. Bones?
Pretty sure he was.
That’s him in the photo, pictured with his newest intern, some kind of gelatinous monster head.
Have you told Ken that you've taken a new job yet, Jack?
~
Kinda thinkin' this post just did that.
[expletive-ing] Sarah Palin??
GELATINOUS MONSTER HEAD, NOOOOO
Hate [expletive] only.
On another note: is M. Steele (porn name, much) doomed to be the wandering dutchman of the GOP?
Maybe as a wandering Dutchman he'll be giving out dutch-rudders.
Who downfisted this?
Today we are all overweight gay interns with flared nostrils.
Or today, we are all indie lesbian folk singers who want to [expletive] Sarah Palin.
Maybe she'll end up bonking Doppelgänger Sarah? Michael row your boat ashore indeed!
I'd like to be Sarah Palin, in this metaphor. Only this metaphor.
Less about Mikey and more about Dana Loesch, pleez
They be Steele & Stuef, yo!
Not Steuf & Steele ????
The Gelatinous Steele Monster Heads
Depends on which you like better: stealin' stuff, or stuffin' the steel.
Stuffin' steele? Where?
Dude looks like he ate James Spader.
Best.
He is the face of New Republicanism, like the paleoconservatives that spawned them they still apparently eat their young, it is a miracle any survives to adulthood.
Oh Michael on the down low, I am straight and he still sends out the gay vibe, What I think the kids are calling gaydar.
"Cinnamon Ice" would be a great rap-name for you.
That or "Ice Tea Party of Five".
So- where was Riley? Did he go missing from Andy's "Big Party"?
Oh Lord.. given the last interaction with Breitbart…
Here's to hoping Riley didn't have to make the chew-own-arm-off vs. wake Andrew decision.
Whichever choice he made, James Franco will play Wags in the movie.
Not a GOP value.
So Steele is taking his self-parody routine on the road since being anti-climatically bounced from office? Good for him.
Jack did you sign Steele up as a Wonkette intern?
He's the bibble, my nibble!
Fo' shizzle!
That photo captures perfectly what Michael Steele was talking about when he referred to the suburban hip-hop vote.
Don't knock the Rhymesayers Crew… at least, that is, 'til after you've heard them.
Minnesota backpacker hip-hop wins the morning!
I was told there would be pix of an airtight Britey Whitey in a sling and I'm still waiting.
Is he wearing that red sweater in the hopes that Zombie Reagan will call on him?
Nope. I think that's a Member's Only jacket. That Steele for you…..all about the street.
"It's a beautiful day in the very, very urban 'hood…"
Steele/Newell '12
This is so much win. I am, frankly, surprised Wonkette didn't go Supernova after this.
This must be added to the Michael Steele intern photobook! Great work, Intern Jack!
Yeah, it was "urban night," and he was the deejay.
"very urban night…"
Why does Michael Steele always do the "buffalo stance" whenever posing with anyone white and under 30?
For the exact same reason why Mitt Romney wants to know who let the dogs out woof woof woof.
Because he's a gigalo. Huh! Sucka.
Huh! Sucka.
Now now, that's "I beg to differ, Sucker" to you, DJ.
May I present "Buffalo Stance" as performed as Michael Steele.
ahem
Who is that individual standing on the boulevard who takes money in exchange for sexual favors?
With his hands in his pockets and his feet related to crocodiles in some fashion.
He is perched on the curb, looking very perturbed at some rufffians who are returning home, causing a ruckus and brusquely handling their playthings.
The girls located in the vicinity who have less than spectacular hair styles and supplement their busts with extraneous fabric in their brassieres are drinking carbonated malt beverages through straws while lowering their trousers and are asking "excuse me sir, but where did you happen to get your's?"
Please be so kind as to heed my enthusiastic call for everyone's immediate and undivided attention, for I would like to make unequivocally clear through the use of a commonly employed metaphorical construction that the item in question is the rhetorical equivalent of an explosive device.
Cross your arms and clench your butt cheeks tight. You'll assume the same pose. As a black man he is sure that those young white guys are trying to f**k him over, thus his "stance".
At least it isn't a "wide stance". (not that there's anything wrong with that)
He's a straight G.
Who the hell is Sophie B. Hawkins, and why does she have such bad taste in women?
MOO MOO BABY!
Not Safe For Farms
Haha, now everyone will just have to let their sick imaginations run wild!
MOO MOO BABY!
Let's just say time has not been kind…
My favourite — only? (does liking "As I Lay Me Down to Sleep" when I was in eighth grade count?) — Sophie B memory is watching a Pansy Division clip, from the Houston Pride Fest, on YouTube, & the lead singer of that homocore punk band saying, totally straight-faced, "Stick around. Sophie B. Hawkins is up next".
She sang a song called "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover" back in the '90s. I have no idea why she has such bad taste in women, though.
Either there are light reflections on the gay intern's glasses, or something about the ambience makes one grow tusks.
Also in class last week there was a discussion about whether the tendency to vote for attractive candidates applied to men to the same extent as women. The discussion ended after I asked "Do you think Sarah Palin would have gotten this far politically if she were ugly?". Damn that felt good.
If Sarah looked like Golda Mier, she would still be in Wasilla.
You, sir or madam, have just marked yourself as an old. And by realizing that, I too have marked myself as an old.
Hey, if I knew what Chris Lee looked like under his suit before yesterday – I'd have voted for him too.
You'll see my Golda Mier and I'll raise you one Bella Abzug.
At pub-trivia a coupla weeks ago, one of the history/politics questions was a blurred image of a world leader prominent in the 80s. I guessed Muammar Gaddhafi. The correct answer was Margaret Thatcher.
I've got a Betty Friedan around here somewhere…
What felt good about saying "Unless they've got great gazongas and straight teeth, women are still fucked today."?
It was more the admission that she's all style and no substance. No one could come up with an good argument for her political success. That, and it settled the argument. Men are just as vulnerable, if not more so, to a candidate's attractiveness.
"women are still fucked today"…that could be good, depending on your meaning.
This is surreal. Jack, I hope you don't get high before you go to these events. The reality itself is too twisted.
Wait, wait. This is reality? I thought it was some sort of extended nightmare.
Repugs get stranger every day.
No straight man has that kind of mustache.
Wow, douchebag of the decade?
So does douchebag McBreitbart really "fear" the activist gay left, of is he merely admitting that your chances of being killed by Al Quaeda are less than your chances of suddenly realizing you're a closeted self-hating homo?
Don't you remember when Act Up bombed the WTC? Sheesh!
Magic Johnson was an inside job!
It's also a weird statement when you think about the fact that the Log Cabin Republicans are the ones who filed suit to repeal DADT. So the activist gay right isn't quite as scary? And neither are the lazy, non-activist gays?
"And neither are the lazy, non-activist gays?"
Hey now, they are not lazy! They are just walking slowly so you will have to pass….then they can critique your bunz.
CPAC: it's like a living wax museum of irrelevancy.
Damn, I wish I was your lover.
What up?
Get back to us on how that's working after about 5 years or so…
There's just too many douches and things to protest around here nowadays.
Wrong vernacular. In honor of CPAC, you should have at least said that this is a target rich environment.
Surveyor Mark rich environment????
I'm guessing [squeegee] and [parsnip]. Did I get it right?
Close, but Michele Bachmann's the one with the parsnip, remember?
[Trebeck] & [landline]?
[plumber's snake] and [six-iron]?
A neckbeard?
That's what I thought at first, but it looks Jack's apparent neckbeard is the unfortunate combination of a couple days of stubble and bad lighting.
better than mitch mcconnell's turtleneck
Looks like Jonah Hill was having a blast last night.
I have had sex with Sarah Palin for years. Every night since she was introduced to America, I have said, "Fuck Sarah Palin."
And god damn! it's gooooood!
In GOP-world, it's the same thing. That "committed relationship" is simply a commitment to get it on with some random CL-sourced strangerz.
They must of thought it was some white guy in black face.
Sarah who?
This I, Spy reboot appears it might undo the taint of the Eddie Murphy-Owen Wilson version.
I fucked Sarah Palin by voting for Obama.
And most of America enjoyed your sloppy seconds.
Jack & Riley – it's not working for you. Either shave or grow a beard – that stubbly look was awful on Don Johnson in the 80s and it has not improved since then.
Andrew Breitbart’s “Big Party” last night was the happening CPAC place to be – if you were looking to have your anus stretched!
Breitbart is like the kid in Footloose, moving into the square conservative convention and spicing things up!…with stuff that would be sorta lame in any other city or more liberal scene.
So I threw up in my mouth when I read that headline.
Say what you like about Mike…but he seems to be a good sport. Must be all of the bondage lesbians that puts him in a good mood.
But for these people not to exist in the two party system, for you tell them they're not welcome in the big tent, I have a huge problem with that
Oh Andy, after all the years you've been carrying the Republicans' water, you still don't realize that the big tent is a foreign concept to the modern GOP? You really might be the dumbest motherfucker alive.
DJ Steele has to shake his moneymaker. He IS unemployed, after all.
He's gone from being a high-paid professional whore, to a slightly-lower paid (for the time being) professional whore.
You know who else makes appearances at parties?
No, not him. Snooki.
Oh, and Paris Hilton. Tambien.
I've been trying to get that job. But so far, no takers. I think they heard I hung out at Wonkette.
That should actually be a plus on your resume. Alas, I think to really get your own reality show and party circuit, you have to be willing to have lots and lots and lots of public/semi-public sex, or at least pretend to do so.
They totally should have booked DJ Pauly D to play the party.
If he's good enough for Matador Records at 20, he should be more than good enough for the GOP.
Thru the back door only. He fit right in.
That's why you're a filthy, degenerate liberal, with your monogomy and condom-wearing and no superstituous hang-ups about the human body.
same dif really
Awesome.
Comments on this entry are closed.