Hey guess who just gave his long-awaited resignation speech and DIDN’T ACTUALLY QUIT? We were just listening to this on BBC World Service in the car and about 90 seconds into the live translation, we said to ourselves, “Uhh, he’s not quitting.”
And it took only a few more minutes for the demonstrators in Liberation Square to go from happy to enraged, complete with the throwing shoes. And now the whole crowd has poured out and is stomping over to the nearest gigantic military base. What the hell, what the hell. [Al Jazeera]







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They tore down the screen that his speech was broadcast upon immediately after it finished. (or at least that's what maddow's twitter claims)
They should of used it to show Ishtar, I've always wanted to incite a riot with Ishtar.
Heckuva job, Hosni.
Guy just can't take a hint, can he?
This guy is worse than Brett Favre.
Quitler is going to blame Obama for this, mark my words. First, she is going to have to get Greta to explain to her what this means.
Oh God, I love "Quitler" , I upfisted you for that piece of linguistic magnificence
And I upfist you because you are my little English muffin.
Oh, believe me, just look at the tweets coming from conservatards everywhere: Obama sucks because we couldn't keep our man Mubarak safe from this, which is really a giant Islamic religious coup and not a popular uprising at all.
Because actual popular uprisings only occur when the US invades and imposes the uprising upon them. What the fuck parallel universe do these people live in?
He's no quitter. He's kinda like the opposite of Sarah Palin.
He doesn't want anyone calling him "the Egyptian Sarah Palin."
Why would they, he doesn't have any illegitimate grandchildren.
Knowing Gamal Mubarak's bad habits, I find that difficult to believe.
That's an awfully bold statement to make about a heterosexual male with $70 Billion and 30 years absolute domain over a country containing millions of dusky-eyed maidens.
mmmm … dusky-eyed maidens.
"Houris" is the term of art:
In Islam, the ḥūr or ḥūrīyah are described as "splendid companions of equal age (well-matched)", "lovely eyed", of "modest gaze", "voluptuous women", "pure beings" or "companions pure" of paradise, denoting humans and jinn who enter paradise after being recreated anew in the hereafter. Islam also has a strong mystical tradition which places these heavenly delights in the context of the ecstatic awareness of God. …Islam teaches that women in Paradise will get whatever they wish.
So in Islam, women in Paradise get everything they want, and on earth get jack shit. In the west, the situation is almost the exact reverse.
Why, oh why do I read Wonkette when I am either eating or drinkng? I just made a ghastly laughng/guffawing noise and spat lettuce onto the coffee table.
this is ugly.
It's about to get uglier than homemade soup. The crowds are pissed and they are going to resort to self help.
If you want something done, the best way to be sure it gets done is to do it yourself. Let's hope they aren't checking out the rope department at the Cairo Home Depot.
WTF? Why won't he leave? Is he afraid they will deduct something from his security deposit if he bolts now?
Maybe he's waiting until he's able to take as much of Egypt's money as he can with him, like Ferdinand Marcos.
Do they still have those Hebrew Braceros in the parking lot, looking for work?
Probably Palestinians these days. Damn illegals, stealin our jerbs!
Nice Tom Lehrer reference….
"After all, even in Egypt, they had Hebrew Braceros…."
When your President has to give a speech at almost midnight, you know it is ugly.
"You won't have Hosni Mubarak to kick around any more"
Ouch! Ouch! Hey! Stop that! I said…..Ow!
The القرف is going to hit the fan now.
Send lawyers, guns and money.
He thinks he's on the Sunni side of the street, but tomorrow, the Shi'ite is really gonna hit the fan.
Shorter Hosni: Hell No I WON'T GO!!!
Only slightly better? Touche!
We'll see who wins the definitive p-vote.
In the spirit of healthy competition, I am totally upfisting you! Enjoy!
Is Mubarek the new Franco?
Ceasescu
Trufax: Franco continued to run Spain for about a month after he was officially braindead. The Fascists held off from pulling the plug until the anniversary of the Civil War.
Also trufax: the longer this goes, the less likely there is to be an "orderly transition" and the more likely this is to turn into Russia 1917 (February edition).
In the soon-to-be-equally-dead-sense, yes.
It seems almost like Mubarak wants to go down torn apart by an angry mob here.
Mr Mubarak, ask not what you can do to your country; ask what your country can do to you.
Sideways, with a rusty knife.
Romania was really stuck in a late-Middle Ages serfdom/misery kind of situation — Egypt is "Star Trek" in comparison. So, I hope it doesn't go that bad, because you don't just shake off that kind of insane mob violence and heads on pikes. You stew in that shit for a long time, as a people.
I wonder what George Washington or Abraham Lincoln would have made of pundits talking about the threat of violence and the need for an orderly transition.
2010 GDP/capita:
Egypt $6,376
China: $7,518
Romania $11,776
US America: $47,132
Have to run. Gotta gas up the Hummer to go buy some more anus-burgers at the drive-thru on my way to get a three-pak of 128-oz jars of Grey Poupon @Costco.
"Excuse me,… but do you have anything Grey to poop on?"
Isn't the usual playbook for the dictator to push crowds to violence, forcing the army to restore order and the people, distracted by celebrating the fact they are still alive and their house isn't on fire, don't notice as the generals draw straws to decide who is the president. Then they let the original dictator make a safe exit and there you go: army's the most respected institution in the country.
Should the protestors resist resorting to violence, it would screw up the plan totally. "Paging Mr. Muslim Gandhi. Paging Mr Gandhi."
They still somewhat are. Instead of being poor and miserable under the foot of Ceausescu, they're poor and miserable under the foot of whatever president comes along to fill in. I mean really, there's still a large amount of MPs who are leftovers from pre-1989, things havent really changed much.
I remember I had a class with this really awesome old professor, he was slow and boring and I loved him. He told us that the American Revolution wasn't really a "revolution", because that implies a change or shift in power, different people etc… All that really happened was that the white, slave-owners who were running the show before now ran the show without crown saying "Pardon me, taxes?" Same goes for Romania. The "revolution" left the same dipshits in power under a new name. Lastly, "You stew in that shit for a long time, as a people," many Romanians I've talked to have actually said they think their current situations are God's retribution for what they did and for killing the Ceausescu's on Christmas.
They make damn fine sarmale though.
Darkish, but doubtless true.
So…let me see if I can predict the S.I.M.I.A.N.'s response (S.I.M.I.A.N. = Snide, Ignorant, Mean-Spirited, Incoherent, Arrogant Nitwit*).
"Greta, Obamar said Hotsneeze would resign, and now he won't, and, and, uh, Egypt's going up in flames, and the Muslin Bro-heimers gonna take over, and, and, it's all Obamar's fault that Hotsneeze is not resigning, because Hotknees said he won't let anybody from outside the country tell him what to do."
* I woke up at 3 this morning and working this out helped me go back to sleep, like counting sheep/sheeples.
With $70B, he can buy Switzerland.
Actually, no, but he can rent any of its banker-whores in perpetuity.
"I will not be separated from this soil until I am buried underneath it."
– The crowds are probably willing to take you up on that one at this point.
"I address the families of the victims who fell. I feel the same pain you felt"
– Yeah, that line didn't work for Clinton either.
"Our economy has suffered losses and damages – and day by day it will end up where the youth, who are calling for more reform will be the first victims."
– I'm sure those unemployed "youth" who are pushing 30 and living with their parents are worried about becoming victims.
He forgot "Let them eat cake."
He'll get to it. Trust me on this.
"Gentlemen, start your tumbrels."
You sir, are on quite a roll. Multiple thumbs up.
Odd–watching Suleiman on Al Jazeera English….where he just warned Egyptians to "go home and not listen to the satellite TV stations that are just trying to stir up trouble."
YES! I'm watching that on YouTube and my jaw dropped. And now they are marching on the presidential palace.
Two words for you Mubarak: Louis Capet.
I see a little hawt Mussolini-on-lamppost action in Mubarak's and Suleiman's future.
Yeah. Telling the people that the only news group that has accurately reported the situation there fairly is "sowing sedition" isn't going to work out well. Also, they are calling the VP the Vice Torturer! They're so cute! Just like us but smaller and browner.
Oh yeah, that author guest … brutal. "And he spends half his time in Israel," hahahah, that guy may well end up with his head on a pike. In a revolution that has been a peaceful demand for Dignity, Mubarak and Suleiman just shit on everybody's heads.
Yeah that was a real crowd pleaser … followed by "go back to work." Did anyone think that was going to result in anything beyond a doubling of the protests and nationwide work stoppages of Monday and Tuesday? Are they just are opiumed up and going for broke?
It's Life in The Bubble, KL. Get in it and lose the ability to see/hear/understand anything outside it. If Hosni continues down this path, he's not gonna have much more time to enjoy his $70B.
Isn't he 82 or 84? He has not that much time, in any event. But he does have a wife and children to think about.
I doubt that he's giving any thought to anything but his "legacy."
It's like the Schotz brewery, but with camel-riding thugs.
Shorter Suleiman: Don't worry your pretty heads, Egyptians. Go make me a sandwich.
Mubarak and Suleiman should be happy that the drug of choice in Egypt isn't alcohol.
Yeah, maybe ol' Hoser is just oblivious to everything and thinks telling the crowd to go home and not watch T.V and then go back to work will be effective.
Perhaps, he is waiting for the flying pigs to destroy his enemies – there is a better chance that that will transpire.
Also, tomorrow is Friday, not many Egyptians work on Friday, but a little recreational hanging is probably O.K. on Friday.
I pay $100 a month for my satellite with its hundreds of channels yet Dish protects me from being exposed to Al Jazeera English and, apparently, being tricked into becoming a terrorist. I know, I can watch it online. But I'm in the country, also have a satellite for the ISP and have a download allowance that I don't choose to use watching television.
But I have a fucking television in three rooms of my house. Why can I not watch Al Jazeera English?
…wow. All those Time Warner SATELLITE SUCKS HURR HURR commercials suddenly got a lot more believable.
(Yes, I know that people in the boonies can't get cable and thus have no choice.)
al-Psyche!
Maybe the army's going to protect/support Mubarak, but all the recent signs seem to run in the opposite direction. Maybe he knows something no-one else does, but I can't see the army suddenly opening fire on the people among whom they've been camping out for the past few days.
Stability and orderly transition of power = staying until I can rig the election
I don't think he's going to get that opportunity. Pretty soon, I think he's going to have to flee or die. Ugly.
Which — surprise surprise — a bunch of teatards, FOX News, and Republican pundits are all in full support of. Because, you know, this is actually a fundamentalist Islamic coup, NOT a popular uprising.
(Not to mention the fact that vote-rigging worked so well for W…)
Ego is keeping him from leaving. Jeez MubarWreck, take your billions and retire for the good of Egypt.
I see more full-body scans in our future, especially when anyone mentions the words "muslin" or "brotherhood" in an airport.
This is not good for the I.B.E.W. or the B.R.W. They're gonna have to hold their conventions via teleconference from now on.
And the unions were demonstrating in Cairo today so there you go–it's another AFL-CIO conspiracy, and Faux news will be on it any minute.
PS wingers hate unions more than they hate anything. So why don't all the liberals join a union, because they're obviously wonderful–else, Conservatards wouldn't hate them so much.
Ah, those crazy Gypsies. They just wanna party!
They like to get down. They like to party.
This ain't no party. This ain't no disco. This ain't no foolin' around.
Sadly, that's accurate, DZ.
What part of hanging-not-in-effigy do these guys not get?
The only person he needs to keep happy is his helicopter pilot.
A billion here (for his pilot) and a billion there (for the gas jockey on the helipad), and sooner or later you're talking about real money, honey.
I'm not sure why he spoke for so long…"I'm not leaving – go fuck yourselves." is pretty succinct and to the point.
They're throwing shoes now?!!?
That is the last fucking straw. On the camel's whatnot….
SWEET!
It's about time we got some hawt goddess-on-goddess action up in this bitch!
It'd be great if those mobile-phone redirection thingies on websites worked in reverse. Just yesterday I sent a CNN article out by email and apparently, when you load an m.cnn.com address on a regular computer you are greeted with a blank page.
It figures that it woud be a tra-la-Latino hero such as yourself who would be the first one with the guts to come to my link's aid! If you hadn't, I probably would've gone on thinking Wikipedia had just redesigned their site today for at least the next week or two (i.e. until I sobered up.) Thanks.
Also, too, Nut is an obelisk-strokin' sexxxy-ass Egyptian goddess of the sky and masturbation and shit, so…
FAP FOR FREEDOM, WONKETTEERS! BUST A NUT FOR NUT TONIGHT!
In Mubarak's defense, the lease on his home isn't up until September. He doesn't want to set a bad example for the Egyptian people.
I knew it as soon as he started his speech with, "I'm not a pharoah… I'm you."
Three more days and he will smell like a dead fish, I suppose.
Any odds on whether the CIA will bail out "our (their) friend" Suleiman?
How can we miss you if you won't go away?
Lay-off Hosni, his dang pyramid ain't completed yet!
According to O'Donnell's show tonight, H. Clinton is now being monterish toward the protestors, or so says Samantha Powers. Power? Whatever. She's one of the smartest people I've ever heard speak, so I'm going with whatever the redhead says. But, agree shouldn't look like we're butting in.
This is too confusing. I have an idea: weekly, let's do a wonkette live blog of Glen Beck. Only until commercial, of course, because no one could take more than one segment of that much batshit ranting.
Hosni's like the Arab Larry Craig…he doesn't know when to quit.
I predict that Mubarak won't leave until he's caught hiking the al-Palachian Trail.
Pride goeth before a fall, motherfucker!
This will not end well.
Oh, no. Not the shoes.
Ahhhh, I see. Yeah, Imelda had to make sure that she packed up her bulletproof bras on the way out. No, that's not a joke, she had them. Unless you are Dolly Parton, that bra isn't going to provide much protection.
Oh, I know; I'm not joking here either. The guy's taken so much money from the Egyptian people over the years, he's not going to give back his ill-gotten gains easily. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to take some of priceless artifacts from the Cairo Museum with him.
How much money does anyone really need? He's in his 80's and should be reading his bible and cramming for his finals, if you know what I mean.
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