GOD HELP US  2:52 pm February 9, 2011

Important: Santorum Gets In Some Sort of Spat With Politico Over Palin

by Jack Stuef


THE TWIN PILLARS OF OUR DEMOCRACY ARE AT WAR: Politico said Rick Santorum said Sarah Palin is busy spending her time making money and having children, and Rick Santorum tweeted that Politico was “garbage.” This is a very serious national security issue, as these two forces control most of the federal government, the rest being handled by Sarah Palin. Politico is now saying Santorum is a liar and a sexist. So, Garbagegate. Garbagegate is what the history books will call this. The world history books.

Grouch.

He used TweetDeck, so you know this is a formal missive, one carefully looked over by the upper echelons of Santorum officialdom. And it was retweeted by 12 people, so probably the Joint Chiefs, a couple of Supreme Court justices, and four guys with their fingers on a nuclear launch button.

Politico:

“This article is garbage,” Santorum tweeted this morning, linking to the POLITICO story. “All I said was- she is VERY busy, PERIOD. Reporter trying to create something out of nothing.”

Except, that’s not all he said.

Oooooh!

Santorum said in an interview with conservative commentator S.E. Cupp that Palin has “other business opportunities” that are taking up time in her schedule, implying that she’s rebuffing the annual conservative gathering for a paid speech.

Santorum also said Palin has “responsibilities” as a mother that he doesn’t as the father of seven, which some interpreted as sexist.

“Some” interpreted, huh? The United Nations?

We must pray for peace, or else we will all be exploded in the bitter war between these gargantuan foes. [The Halls of Power]

 
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{ 129 comments }

nounverb911 February 9, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Funny things happen when Republicans tell the truth about Sarah.

freakishlywrong February 9, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Not really funny ha-ha though…

LionelHutzEsq February 9, 2011 at 3:09 pm

I don't know about you, but I find these internecine wars to pretty funny ha-ha. Especially between mighty intellects as Santorum, Palin, and Politico. It is a shame S. E. Cupp got dragged in, as she is one of the few CILF around, but I'm a sucker for red heads.

BarryOPotter February 9, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Two idiots, one Cupp…

Negropolis February 10, 2011 at 2:42 am

Yeah, they get fucking scared and crawl back up under the rock from wence they came, poor things.

Barbara_i February 9, 2011 at 2:56 pm

They are just trying to cover up the real story. A farmhouse fell on Palin's sister.

LionelHutzEsq February 9, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Actually, it was a meth-house.

spinozasgod February 9, 2011 at 4:37 pm

ahhh, those ruby slippers……

edgydrifter February 9, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Naming your child Septic Effluent is abuse, people.

freakishlywrong February 9, 2011 at 2:57 pm

I realize you were posting video, but we can never let a Santorum post go by without visting this: http://img.wonkette.com/images/thumbs/cd4d779f4dd

baconzgood February 9, 2011 at 3:05 pm

That's how a REAL MAN treats his kids. Suck on that Sista Sarah!

Dudleydidwrong February 9, 2011 at 3:12 pm

That looks like the Addams Family on drugs. Or maybe Rick's family and I should be on drugs. If that's family values, can I have another choice?

andrewdrinker February 9, 2011 at 3:17 pm

OMG yes! How could anyone ever forget that awesome picture. I cannot WAIT for a repeat after Iowa in January 2012!!!!!!

GOPCrusher February 9, 2011 at 5:40 pm

I just love the look on little Mordecai's face. He sports the look of someone that will go on to great things in the field of sex offender.

jus_wonderin February 9, 2011 at 2:58 pm

When is the Palin fireside chat scheduled????

Maman February 9, 2011 at 7:05 pm

As soon as the sponsorship from Duraflame can be arranged.

fuflans February 9, 2011 at 2:58 pm

the fuck is that interview background?

LionelHutzEsq February 9, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Apparently a bull is shitting out Santorum……

OneYieldRegular February 9, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Not entirely clear, but you really have to wonder about a show that would position its guests next to the rear end of some farm animal.

OneDollarJuana February 9, 2011 at 3:32 pm

I'm not wondering. Seems perfectly clear to me.

MrsBiggTime February 9, 2011 at 3:21 pm

it would appear some bovine is taking a dump on the US Capital. and also, there's a duotone cartoon of some sort of animal.

DashboardBuddha February 9, 2011 at 2:58 pm

They're so cute when they're at this age…and feed on each other.

SexySmurf February 9, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Santorum meant to tweet: "Sarah is busy having her PERIOD. And she needs to take out the garbage."

LionelHutzEsq February 9, 2011 at 3:10 pm

That can't be right, because if she is chained to the stove like Santorum's wife, how could she get the garbage out?

baconzgood February 9, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Gnaw through them, DUH!

Negropolis February 10, 2011 at 2:44 am

That's what trash chutes are for.

SorosBot February 9, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Well we already knew Santorum was a liar and a sexist; hell one of his biggest campaign promises has always been to promote sexism.

DeeJayKitteh February 9, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Meh. Call me when he calls her a famewhore.

Chet Kincaid February 9, 2011 at 5:16 pm

He just did.

WriteyWriterton February 9, 2011 at 11:19 pm

That would be a case of the pot calling the kettle a slack-jawed, hammer-stupid opportunist, yes?

undeterredbyreality February 9, 2011 at 3:00 pm

I'm not sure about little Ricky, but if he isn't doing as good a job handling parental "responsibilities" for his 7 kids as Palin is for hers (how many does she have, now, anyway?), then we're in for one fucked-up second-generation of Santorums.

jus_wonderin February 9, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Damn, is the Santorum 2G out now????

Zvi_Bleindmeis February 9, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Did folks get to see this family shot of the Ted Haggard brood at home?
http://theamericanjesus.files.wordpress.com/2011/

Chet Kincaid February 9, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Whoa whoa whoa that is several kinds of contextually gross!

Now that his other recreational outlets have been curtailed, I guess he is a "Jill-Jet" guy.

danceswithpalin February 9, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Did you click Freakishlywrong's link? It would appear the future is now.

Jason_inthe_Peg February 9, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Hush people.

Now pass the popcorn and pray for injuries.

jus_wonderin February 9, 2011 at 3:12 pm

I wish the weather were better 'cuz I'd love to drag out my lawn chair to watch this.

Come here a minute February 9, 2011 at 3:02 pm

This is going to require an Alaskanoval Office address to clarify Snowbilly's position on the crisis.

DustBowlBlues February 9, 2011 at 3:39 pm

There's always an opening for her kind of hard-hitting truth-telling journalism on the Sean O'Rushbeck show.

baconzgood February 9, 2011 at 3:02 pm

YEAH! Rick don't give a shit about HIS kids. Just the ones in the bellies of rape victims. As a Pennsylvanian, from the bottom of my heart: GO FUCK YOUR SELF RICKY! I THREW A KEGGER WHEN YOU LOST YOUR SEAT AND WILL THROW ANOTHER WHEN YOU LOSE THE PRIMARIES!

P.S. I'm up fisting everyone who has somthing shitty to say about this Douche Bag. Not for me, or Wonkette…But for PA and AMERICA!

J Rbt. Oppenheiner February 9, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Huzzah huzzah from Allentown

DustBowlBlues February 9, 2011 at 3:44 pm

I just turned on the teevee and found out that the Maryland house is debating legalizing gay marriage. That should send Rick "Man On Dog" Santorum into hissy fits, Maryland, being a neighbor state of Pennsylvania. It is, isn't it? Maryland and all those little bitty New Englandish states confuse me. Whatever. It's close enough for Rick to find a camera and start giving his outraged opinions.

SorosBot February 9, 2011 at 3:50 pm

It's also a neighbor of his actual home state of Virginia.

baconzgood February 9, 2011 at 3:51 pm

What'd you expect. "MARY"land.

WriteyWriterton February 9, 2011 at 11:20 pm

Wait, according to Fox, Maryland is next to Iraq. How did it get next to Pennsylvania?

Preferred Customer February 9, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Upfist for enthusiasm.

danceswithpalin February 9, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Another Huzzah from DFH Philly.

slowhansolo February 10, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Since there's no city worth mentioning, I will just say "south central represent!"

CrunchyKnee February 9, 2011 at 3:04 pm

2 girls one SE Cupp.

widestanceroman February 9, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Quickly misread that as 'Santorum gets all over Palin' and now I'm kinda let down, because I was hoping for a photo spread of the event.

DashboardBuddha February 9, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Plus, the words Santorum (slang use) and spat in the same sentence with $P made me uncomfortable.

trampndirtdown February 9, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Some days you just have to love Dan Savage for coining the santorum term. I giggle every time I think of an old goggling it.

MissTaken February 9, 2011 at 3:07 pm

“other business opportunities”

Santorum is just pissed that $arah was forward thinking enough to trademark her name unlike him, Santorum, the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex

ifthethunderdontgetya February 9, 2011 at 3:08 pm

You got your Santorum all over my Sippy Cupp!
~

baconzgood February 9, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Oh, man-o-man. This is a "textbook" BLOOD LIBEL! Sarah has lightning shooting out of her eyes because you can't talk trash on her, her unwed attention whore dauthter, and her happy endings hubby. She's a pillar of moral value. All you did Rick is hire some wet backs to clean your house.

HistoriCat February 9, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Brood libel.

danceswithpalin February 9, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Win Kitty win :-)

bumfug February 9, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Only one way to settle this – REALITY SHOW!

danceswithpalin February 9, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Oh, I was hoping for a mudwrestling death match but either is fine as long as everyone involved finishes with their dignity intact.

Schmannnity February 9, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Man on dog versus man on moose.

MrsBiggTime February 9, 2011 at 3:25 pm

I'm in for a dollar.

OneDollarJuana February 9, 2011 at 3:34 pm

don't call Todd's hooker a moose!

bagofmice February 9, 2011 at 3:51 pm

I thought it was man on dog vs lipstick on PitBull

WriteyWriterton February 9, 2011 at 11:22 pm

And death is not an option.

MinAgain February 9, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Santorum has been accused of being sexist? What's next, Politico? An expose` on fire being hot, and water being wet?

weejee February 9, 2011 at 3:12 pm

When will this duo be on the UFC pay per view teevee? That's the best solution for either since our renditionator-in-chief is having his own issues of De-Nile.

LionelHutzEsq February 9, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Rick has a point, as once a kid is outside the vagina, he doesn't care about them at all.

Radiotherapy February 9, 2011 at 3:43 pm

You're right, I always thought he had a vagina too.

DoktorZoom February 9, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Nobody wants to be tainted by Santorum.

LionelHutzEsq February 9, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Or to have Santorum on your taint.

Wadisay February 9, 2011 at 3:15 pm

This is like Alien versus Predator, only with placement opportunities for hairspray and feminine hygiene products.

Schmannnity February 9, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Rick's Spritz: The sparkling douche.

ShaveTheWhales February 9, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Delightful. I would give you the Fist of the Day, if there were such a thing.

Cicada February 9, 2011 at 3:15 pm

This is like that hobo fighting thing, but with tards.

jim89048 February 9, 2011 at 5:41 pm
LionelHutzEsq February 9, 2011 at 3:16 pm

This is such a tragedy. Can't we all get along, and realize these are minor squabbles compared to the real problems facing our country: A Black, Muslim, Kenyan Socialist in the White House?

DustBowlBlues February 9, 2011 at 3:47 pm

And abortion! You forgot abortion. That's the real problem, next to the president who is all those things you said.

danceswithpalin February 9, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Not to mention those rape victims gaming the system.

Grief_Lessons February 9, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Wait, there's a dude called Santorum?

Gleem_McShineys February 9, 2011 at 4:27 pm

No, however, there is an ambulatory (possibly sentient?) puddle of it. In the video.

Hera Sent Me February 9, 2011 at 3:17 pm

My mind wants to create a humorous pun based on "Sanctum" Santorum and "Palin" dromes, but my gall bladder keeps filling my mouth with bile at the thought.

Preferred Customer February 9, 2011 at 4:08 pm

That is not your gall bladder. That is Sarah Palin. Tell her to stop it or you will get a restraining order.

metamarcisf February 9, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Anyone who opposes abortion in all cases, like Rick Santorum, has never watched an E-Trade commerical.

LionelHutzEsq February 9, 2011 at 3:20 pm

My God, Manos, you are right. Finally a useful function of twatting.

Oblios_Cap February 9, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Me-ouch! Those girls need to sheath their claws.

Although I do like a good catfight.

Texan_Bulldog February 9, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Oh my, whose side will God be on in this epic right wing slap fest? If He's smart, he'll say screw them both & send baby asteroids to Wasilla and wherever the hell Rick lives in PA. (Sorry for any collateral damage.)

HistoriCat February 9, 2011 at 4:11 pm

You got something against lightning bolts? That's old school!

danceswithpalin February 9, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Actually he lives in Virginia, but God can figure that out.

slowhansolo February 10, 2011 at 1:45 am

He pretty much lived in Virginia while he was a senator from Pennsylvania. I also recall he got caught pulling a fast one in connection with his kids' residency and their "attendance" at some cyber school.

Just another cheating, sexist, silk-wearing buttercup. We got millions of them, and most aren't even obsessed with religious apocalypse and oppressing women, browns, gays and the allegedly godless.

Extemporanus™ February 9, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Santorum spats haven't been in fashion since the "Gay Nineties".

Way to win the 19th century, POLITICO!

keepem_sikanpor February 9, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Frothy mixture, indeed.
OK $arah, what say you? And by say I mean tweet, you twat.

sportshort February 9, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Well, his name is slang for the mixture of semen, anal lube, and feces that leaks out after humorsexual analsex but what's her name slang for? That's the REALLY important question.

Schmannnity February 9, 2011 at 4:46 pm

One who slings same.

DerrickWildcat February 9, 2011 at 3:34 pm

If she were D Cupp, she'd have her own show on Fox.

user-of-owls February 9, 2011 at 3:38 pm

ゴジラ対ヘドラ !!!

Oblios_Cap February 9, 2011 at 3:40 pm

I hear ya!

ifthethunderdontgetya February 9, 2011 at 3:42 pm

I was gonna say that!
~

V572625694 February 9, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Who's "Hedorah"?

AddHomonym February 10, 2011 at 12:21 am

イチロー!!!!

Redhead February 9, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Look Santorum. Just cause your beard has seven kids does not make you a father.

jmarsh04 February 9, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Santorum is upset men can't give birth to children like Sarah can. God is so sexist sometimes.

DustBowlBlues February 9, 2011 at 3:51 pm

When will Huckabee start one with her? He has his own show, so he should trick her into appearing on it, the start lecturing about health.

No, that's not good enough. I know! The can have a gay-off and see who can produce the more vitriol about the gayz.

Thedongsofwar February 9, 2011 at 4:09 pm

"I'm not saying she's a huge whore, just that she likes making a lot of money for her kids, maybe"

Preferred Customer February 9, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Santorum: I do not have opportunities to make money like Sarah Palin does, because I am a worthless sack of meat that couldn't headline the Young Republicans Monthly Dinner at Hillsdale College, so I would literally do anything at all if it included a free sandwich. So long as I don't have to trim my lush, majestic mullet.

Or at least that's what I heard.

V572625694 February 9, 2011 at 4:11 pm

So this conservatard putative atheist SE Cupp: how can she be sort of attractive and at the same time utterly repugnant?

Now I understand how the racists feel about Michelle.

Callyson February 9, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Not only does this POS have seven kids, some of them have had health issues that just might attract the time and attention of *some* fathers…
Santorum and his wife, Karen Garver Santorum, have seven children: Elizabeth Anne (born 1991); Richard John ("Johnny"), Jr. (born 1993); Daniel James (born 1995); Sarah Maria (born 1998); Peter Kenneth (born 1999); Patrick Francis (born 2001); and Isabella "Bella" Maria (born 2008). Bella was subsequently diagnosed with Trisomy 18, a serious genetic disorder which is fatal before birth in 90 per cent of cases. In 1996, their son Gabriel Michael was born prematurely and lived for only two hours (a sonogram taken before Gabriel was born revealed that his posterior urethral valve was closed and that the prognosis for his survival was therefore poor). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Santorum#Family
But, just to keep it in the top spot for santorum searches, this is all you really need to know about this guy: http://www.spreadingsantorum.com/

SorosBot February 9, 2011 at 5:20 pm

You left out the most important part! "The couple brought the deceased infant home from the hospital and introduced the dead child to their living children as "your brother Gabriel" and slept with the body overnight before returning it to the hospital."

They didn't even have the decency to jar their fetus before showing it to the kids.

GOPCrusher February 9, 2011 at 5:46 pm

This is why inbreeding is frowned upon.

trampndirtdown February 9, 2011 at 11:31 pm

I do my part weekly to keep ol Ricky number one in your google search for frothy mixtures.

BlueStateLibel February 9, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Hopefully Santorum and Palin will destory each other via Mutual Assured Destruction or MAD (why do I have Reagan on the brain?). Can we give them a nu-cluar arsenal that they can point at each other?

Chet Kincaid February 9, 2011 at 5:13 pm

So, a meth-house fell on Christine O'Donnell?

Chet Kincaid February 9, 2011 at 5:18 pm

I thought Richie Santorum was that old guy with hair-metal extensions who's always shred-posing next to Bon Jovi.

donner_froh February 9, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Everyone else realized long ago that Politico is garbage. Time to wake up, dumbfuck.

Chet Kincaid February 9, 2011 at 5:29 pm

In response, Sarah will condemn Obama for not clearly explaining to her and the American people why the fuck she exists and what she does with her time.

BTWBFDIMHO February 9, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Did you see S E Cupp uses Wonkette old logo?

not that Dewey February 9, 2011 at 10:26 pm

HA!

That prompted me to check out her website. She sure seems to be fascinated with her own image. And then there's this priceless quote:

"We'll all be working for her someday. Best to start sucking up now."

–Tucker Carlson

chascates February 9, 2011 at 11:12 pm

http://www.redsecupp.com/album.php
"S.E.''s new pics are in…"

Jesus, Sippy does seem to have no shortage of photos of herself.

hagajim February 9, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Sounds like Santorum Blood Libel to me.

smellyal8tr February 9, 2011 at 6:41 pm

The scene: Waldorf Astoria, NYC
Dramatis: WEALTHY PA Republicans in town for a drinking fest
Santorum gets off the elevator
SFX: No one says anything, nothing. Crickets. Not even a "hey Rick". I don't think he's going to get very far.

lulzmonger February 9, 2011 at 6:51 pm

The solution is simple: put them into my patented ShredderDome™: two idiots enter, noone leaves, & everybody wins!

PS – Protip for SE Cupp: frugality is way kewl, but when you get a $7 haircut, it has the unfortunate side-effect of looking like you got a $7 haircut.

user-of-owls February 9, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Sumoggumonsuta rules!!

PublicLuxury February 9, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Is this going to be in Bristle's memoirs?

ttommyunger February 9, 2011 at 9:07 pm

Hmmmm. What? Sorry, wasn't paying attention; was thinking about porking one of those girls. No, not the one with the necktie.

slowhansolo February 10, 2011 at 1:59 am

Every court needs its dandies and fops. Most of them know better than to harbor ambitions for the throne.

ShaveTheWhales February 9, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Santorum spat Politico all over Palin?

Hard to tell who should worry about infection.

trampndirtdown February 9, 2011 at 11:36 pm

Can't wait for the Palin heifers to jump on facebook and tell this faggot to STFU.

slowhansolo February 10, 2011 at 1:54 am

Speaking of his kids, I think it's time someone posted the concession photo. You know the one. Daughter and doll wearing the same dress, crying? Son's Ted Bundy eyes, staring off into space?

Negropolis February 10, 2011 at 2:48 am

Sarah's ears must ring all of the time. She just eats this shit up. I'm sure she's masturbating to this controversy, right now. **shudders**

SorosBot February 9, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Not in a good traditional Christian household like his; raising the kids and showing them the jar fetus is solely the wife's job.

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