Do you have a “pretend sex addiction”? Or, if you’re lucky enough to occasionally be around people who drunkenly agree to have sex with you, do you lack interest in “real sex” because of the hot Internet trend of becoming physically numb/impotent when trying to make sexytime with an actual warm human body because of the inexhaustible supply of tawdry pornography on your iPhone, which you cannot stop looking at for even one minute? In other words, do you want an easy way to break yourself from the cripplingly awful tedium of Internet porn addiction? We have a solution for you, young people of America! No longer will you lose entire days of your “search for employment or a community college that will take you back” to the wickedness of free naked people pictures. Just bookmark the following image and click it whenever you’re tempted.
You’re, uhh, welcome! [Some Twitter Picture]
{ 94 comments }
The torturer's apprentice.
Epic.
You, sir, get a cookie.
Naw…he's a journeyman, at least.
Holy crap it works!
Manny, Moe and Jackoff.
Back when I was a kid, I'd take those Pep boy match books and poke a hole in the crotch of each guy then pull a match through the hole like a giant redheaded cock. I think doing the same to the above picture would improve it greatly.
For a second there I thought I was at Lemonparty.org.
I can only imagine how many reichwing trolls will be entering that website address.
I laffed.
My woman will be very pissed at you this Valentine's day.
Awesome. Now I have an innie. Uncool, man.
I fantasize about Oprah calling me 'Dr. Fill'.
Gayle King, is that you?
Rummy looks so excited because Bolton promised everyone mustache rides after the taping.
At least there's the cleavage in the Netflix ad to counter the horror of that image.
Ummmmmm. She's hawt.
Watching porn and having sex are mutually exclusive? When did this happen?
Life is getting worse and worse! Haven't you heard?
Is that entropy or something? The second law of thermodynamics, suckitude perpetually increases?
Ken's right that the world's getting worse, but a few ladiez of my acquaintance seem to get all het up after viewing some pr0n.
In my experience, porn seems to preclude sex, not replace it.
Bolton is smiling. Somewhere there must be browns weeping over the ashes of their village.
I have an existential emergency:
I'm using porn to overcome my addiction to work, so do I bookmark the photo or not?
GODDAMMIT, KEN. NSFW!
What the hell is KFC gonna do with their new Chickenshit & Asshole Double Down Sandwich?
Call it "The Surge".
It's working already.
Thank you…best laugh I've had all day.
Menage-a-twat.
But in a bad way.
It works, but I still end up weeping quietly to myself afterwards, so it's really pretty much a wash.
We may never want sex again, but the fact that these guys are or ever have been anywhere near the levers of power means that we are well and truly fucked.
But, Tania, did they fuck us so we stay fucked?
Proper fucked?
There are dust bunnies under my bed. I've been under it a lot lately as this country scares the dust out of me.
Sounds heard coming from the other side of Ann Coulter’s door…
Fap, fap, fappity fap, fap…
With Rush watching her through a peep hole giving a reach around Rod to Glenny
Who knew Ann's penis was so noisy?
My genitals just climbed up into my pelvic cavity. And I'm a woman.
Typographical rimshot for you ma'am
might be all that sabre wielding?
So if you have some made-up psychological maladies like sex addiction, Internet addiction, porn addiction and so on that only seem to exist to inspire self-loathing and sell magazines and talk TV, you can add them all together into one master malady that will inspire more self-loathing and sell even more magazines and TV ad time? Is this a great country or what.
Addiction addiction. (Ka-Ching!)
To the bank!
It's only 3 men but there is enough ass hole in that photograph for 15.
Well said, Bravo! For The Win! Best quote of the day!
Are they hiding under the mustache ?
Bolton totally looks like the kind of creep who likes to say "well you weren't meant to enjoy it."
Is Boltman getting shorter or is it just the weight of the Hannity crown?
you must be here to fix the cable (news)
They are expert.
I knew she was into a lot of media stuff, but I didn't know about porn. That billboard is HOT. I find that I am attracted to Big Oprah, but not Skinny Oprah. I hope they filmed the movie when she was fat. The thought of the thin, saggy skin Oprah naked depresses me. I hope to find the online version of the movie. If she's plump in the previews, I'll probably get it.
My underpants haz a sad.
If the wind blows it'll be three shits to the wind. And why is Tusky the Walrus not wearing his tusks?
Story only "man bites dog" if porn addict is hot. Contrary to upthread speculation, if Oprah herself is the porn addict–actually that's pretty much the textbook definition of "must-see TV", come to think of it–but decidedly unhot.
Oh, so true. The idiots, (addicts?) that watch Oprah's show are the type that would rather watch someone else's fucked up life, the live their own dreary, fucked up life.
NSFW, has a new dual meaning,
Not Safe For Wonkateers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrocojfmMtw
"Ready Anytime The Moment Is Right".
Excuse me. I have to go wash my eyeballs after seeing that photo.
I will have to casually watch the men's track team work out now to make up for that picture.
Dumb, dumber, dumberer.
That photo should be sent to anyone thinking of emigrating to Doritoland. That will put an end to that silly notion.
I don't know why, but I have a sudden urge to photoshop their faces on the bodies in this picture: http://wonkette.com/410864/contractors-guarding-u…
Jesus H. fucking Christ. Marc Thiessen, John Bolton and Donald Rumsfeld in the same room, on Hannity no less. It's a douchebag singularity!
I can't even decide who's the biggest troglodyte. It must be an unfamiliar feeling for all of them, not being the outright biggest asshole in the room.
Where are the terrorists when you need them? Oh, right, in Alabama, emptying their clips into innocent young browns. Nevermind.
Krauthammer would have been the topper, but I think he no longer registers on film.
Here's the dildo.
And here's the dildo.
And also over here's the dildo.
I didn't know that genital warts could grow that much.
Im not into beastiality so I dont think I can fap to chicken hawks.
This should be one of those tricky 'intelligence quiz' things where we have to count the actual number of assholes in the picture.
"TEN! Don't forgot how much shit also comes out of those top holes!"
Unless these guys parents were cartoon pigs, all three of them appear to have a serious blood pressure problem.
And you get a limp dick! And you get a limp dick! And you get a limp dick!
I just got a message from my dick. It says there's going to be six more weeks of winter.
Thanks Ken. Now that I have smoking craters where my eyes used to be I will have to figure out how to check out #tittytuesday in braille or some such shit.
So what did they do to get this triumvirate of evil to crack grins? Roll some footage of brown children blown up? Rape torture films from the CIA vaults? Limbaughs' Dominican "adventure" videos? Must have been pretty nasty stuff. Bolton in particular just doesn't look right with a smile, I am truly surprised he can contort his usual sneer into one.
I'm pretty sure that Bolton isn't really smiling. His mustache has a mind of its own and is doing some exercises.
They can do wonders with Photoshop these days.
That picture made my balls retreat into my abdomen. That means it's working, right?
seeing this may cause blindness…so you're damned if you do and damned if you don't!
I'm wondering where Larry's other hand is?
mission_accomplished.jpeg
Moustache rides — Ten Cents!
Holy shit! That picture actually made my penis disconnect itself from my body and go running down the street.
It looks like they're in some Hannity theme room in Vegas, grinning like baboons because
they celebrated Reagan's 100th by pulling an all-night daisy chain with each other.
What happens in Vegas………
There is so much repulsive and disagreeable matter crammed into such a small space it's about to go supernova and create it's own galaxy of douche.
Hey…. I remember that Oprah billboard. In fact, I recognize that roof–that's right above the Fox and the Hounds on Ventura near Vineland. Holy shit, are you guys stalking me? Is Oprah stalking me? What's going on? Who are you people? Get off my lawn!!!1!!!1!!
I told those fudge-packers I liked Michael Bolton's music.
Holy crap! My lady parts just shriveled up, turned to dust, and blew away. I hope you're happy, Ken.
Who doesn't like a portrait of fascists?
You get an orgasm, and you get an orgasm…EVERYBODY GETS AN ORGASM!
The ones I feel sorry for are the simpletons that will watch that Oprah Show and actually believe that there is something like being addicted to porn or sex addiction. This has become the biggest scam perpetrated on the American public since the Cabbage Patch Doll.
What's next, oxygen addiction?
Cured!!!! Praise
JeebusKen!!!!Different strokes…get it? Haw-haw!
Comments on this entry are closed.