Do you have a “pretend sex addiction”? Or, if you’re lucky enough to occasionally be around people who drunkenly agree to have sex with you, do you lack interest in “real sex” because of the hot Internet trend of becoming physically numb/impotent when trying to make sexytime with an actual warm human body because of the inexhaustible supply of tawdry pornography on your iPhone, which you cannot stop looking at for even one minute? In other words, do you want an easy way to break yourself from the cripplingly awful tedium of Internet porn addiction? We have a solution for you, young people of America! No longer will you lose entire days of your “search for employment or a community college that will take you back” to the wickedness of free naked people pictures. Just bookmark the following image and click it whenever you’re tempted.
You’re, uhh, welcome! [Some Twitter Picture]