wads and pork

‘Dickwad Hams’ Quitting State GOP Post

Sorry, there may be a typo in that headline.

Dick Wadhams on Monday unexpectedly dropped his bid for re-election as chair of the Colorado Republican Party, warning GOP leaders that their chances in 2012 could be “severely undermined” by a strategy aimed solely at uniting conservatives.

Wadhams said he had the votes to land a third term but in the past few days got to thinking, “What happens after I win?”

“I have loved being chairman, but I’m tired of the nuts who have no grasp of what the state party’s role is,” he said.

God speed, Dickwad. Hams. [Denver Post]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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    1. zhubajie

      I dunno, he sounds like one of the few remaining rational people in the other party. They used to be mostly rational, you know, even if you disagreed with them. More recently, the know-nothings have forced the rational ones out, like the cuckoo bird fledgling forcing the real baby birds out of the nest. For the GOP to go all nut-burger, all the time, is bad for the rest of us.

  1. PublicLuxury

    I guess there were no Muzlims in Colorado. Hams kept Muzlims at bay, but now, they will invade like a swarm of hogs headed for the tough.

  2. Lascauxcaveman

    I’m tired of the nuts

    Wait, with a name like "Dick Wadhams," this guy was one of the GOP moderates?

    Well, there's his problem right there.

  3. SayItWithWookies

    Wadhams built his reputation running successful U.S. Senate campaigns in Colorado, Montana and South Dakota. He returned to Colorado in 2007 after George Allen's 2006 Senate campaign in Virginia crashed in the wake of comments by Allen deemed racially insensitive.

    The Republican nuts from 2006 are now sick of the Republican nuts in 2011? A little more of this accelerated insanity and we'll be pining for the days when moderates like Glenn Beck were influencing right wingers' opinions.

    1. BornInATrailer

      As I read your comment, my brain decided to queue up the generic marching boots/stuka dive whistle sound effect to enhance the ambiance.

  4. LionelHutzEsq

    Perhaps we are finally going to see Sarah Palin having a positive influence on the GOP, as everyone quits their job within the GOP to better focus on being contributors for FOX News.

  5. MadBrahms

    Breaking news: Dick tired of nuts.

    Nuts. Just hanging around, flailing about aimlessly while Dick was doing all the work.

    Too easy.

        1. Negropolis

          "Dick rises to challenges, as nuts drop into insanity. More at 11."

          "Sometime you feel like a nut; sometimes you don't."

  6. Come here a minute

    Dickwad Hams sounds sincere when he says that he can't continue to serve as Republican party chairman because he has lost the desire to grasp nuts.

  7. problemwithcaring

    Move aside, Dickwad. Time to make room for the nut-craving Douchebags of the GOP's future.

  8. randoracer

    Being from Colorado, I can tell y'all that that name couldn't have been given to a more appropriate person, although I suppose his parents could have called him Panty-wad Hams, Schmegma-wad Hams, Santorum-wad Hams or just plain Goat Fucker.

  9. Gleem_McShineys

    Emily Litella is more upset about him getting a sex change.

    "There's this, well, dickwad who says 'I have loved being a man, but I’m tired of my nuts. Who has no grasp of what the state party’s hole is?' That is just shameful!"

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