• May 26, 2012
WADS AND PORK

February 8, 2011

‘Dickwad Hams’ Quitting State GOP Post

by Jack Stuef  

Sorry, there may be a typo in that headline.

Dick Wadhams on Monday unexpectedly dropped his bid for re-election as chair of the Colorado Republican Party, warning GOP leaders that their chances in 2012 could be “severely undermined” by a strategy aimed solely at uniting conservatives.

Wadhams said he had the votes to land a third term but in the past few days got to thinking, “What happens after I win?”

“I have loved being chairman, but I’m tired of the nuts who have no grasp of what the state party’s role is,” he said.

God speed, Dickwad. Hams. [Denver Post]

{ 56 comments }

OkieDokieDog February 8, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Good, there were already way too many Dickwad Hams in the GOP.

zhubajie February 8, 2011 at 5:54 pm

I dunno, he sounds like one of the few remaining rational people in the other party. They used to be mostly rational, you know, even if you disagreed with them. More recently, the know-nothings have forced the rational ones out, like the cuckoo bird fledgling forcing the real baby birds out of the nest. For the GOP to go all nut-burger, all the time, is bad for the rest of us.

OkieDokieDog February 8, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Agreed. It was more of a play on the name. The GOP is full of dickwad hams.

PublicLuxury February 8, 2011 at 2:48 pm

I guess there were no Muzlims in Colorado. Hams kept Muzlims at bay, but now, they will invade like a swarm of hogs headed for the tough.

Beowoof February 9, 2011 at 1:02 am

And no one likes hogs as much as the Mooslems.

mavenmaven February 8, 2011 at 2:49 pm

sex scandal breaking in 3…2…1…

Beowoof February 9, 2011 at 1:03 am

You mean he was out trying to slam the ham. Oh no, was it in Ted Haggard's Dennys?

edgydrifter February 8, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Dickwad biscuits!

nounverb911 February 8, 2011 at 2:51 pm

No more ham biscuits for Lindsey!

SorosBot February 8, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Better to be a dickwad than a teabagger, I guess.

MildMidwesterner February 8, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Dickwad says, "I’m tired of the nuts."

But what does he think of the asshole?

zhubajie February 8, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Tired of being shat upon by them, I suppose.

ttommyunger February 9, 2011 at 12:23 am

'Taint sure.

Beowoof February 9, 2011 at 1:03 am

I believe he may enjoy giving the rimjob.

Lascauxcaveman February 8, 2011 at 2:58 pm

I’m tired of the nuts

Wait, with a name like "Dick Wadhams," this guy was one of the GOP moderates?

Well, there's his problem right there.

LesBontemps February 8, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Sorry, there may be a typo in that headline.

Looks ok to me.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 8, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Sorry, there may be a typo in that headline.

Wadhams Dick'em can't quit you, GOP.
~

SexySmurf February 8, 2011 at 3:05 pm

When are the gaywads going to quit the GOP?

DoktorZoom February 8, 2011 at 3:51 pm

"Gaywads, Dorkwads Sign Historic Wad Accord"–The Onion

SayItWithWookies February 8, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Wadhams built his reputation running successful U.S. Senate campaigns in Colorado, Montana and South Dakota. He returned to Colorado in 2007 after George Allen's 2006 Senate campaign in Virginia crashed in the wake of comments by Allen deemed racially insensitive.

The Republican nuts from 2006 are now sick of the Republican nuts in 2011? A little more of this accelerated insanity and we'll be pining for the days when moderates like Glenn Beck were influencing right wingers' opinions.

BornInATrailer February 8, 2011 at 3:19 pm

As I read your comment, my brain decided to queue up the generic marching boots/stuka dive whistle sound effect to enhance the ambiance.

HistoriCat February 8, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Add a little background speech in German and you're all set.

Oblios_Cap February 8, 2011 at 4:10 pm

And we can all give the Bellamy Salute.

Bellamy Salute</a href>

zhubajie February 8, 2011 at 5:56 pm

I fear that you are absolutely correct.

LionelHutzEsq February 8, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Perhaps we are finally going to see Sarah Palin having a positive influence on the GOP, as everyone quits their job within the GOP to better focus on being contributors for FOX News.

MadBrahms February 8, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Breaking news: Dick tired of nuts.

Nuts. Just hanging around, flailing about aimlessly while Dick was doing all the work.

Too easy.

MistaEko February 8, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Followup: Dick wishes we had a more firm grasp.

MadBrahms February 8, 2011 at 11:59 pm

"Dick wonders: What happens after I win?"

Roll over and fall asleep, probably.

Negropolis February 9, 2011 at 2:00 am

"Dick rises to challenges, as nuts drop into insanity. More at 11."

"Sometime you feel like a nut; sometimes you don't."

freakishlywrong February 8, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Great. Now Dickwad will run as a bluedog Democrat and we'll be stuck with him.

PocketsTheClown February 8, 2011 at 3:30 pm

This is the most awesome newsday in a long time. THANK YOU KEN LAYNE ETC

Redhead February 8, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Dickwad Hams is tired of nuts? He obviously isn't a real teabagger!

SorosBot February 8, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Dick Wadham's replacement is named Mike Hunt.

DoktorZoom February 8, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Vice-chair Seymour Butz is running as a write-in.

hagajim February 8, 2011 at 3:55 pm

I thought it was Iwanna Uranus

LesBontemps February 8, 2011 at 8:06 pm

What, was Hugh G. Rection unavailable?

(edited in deference to Not_So_Much, below.)

PsycWench February 8, 2011 at 10:13 pm

No. Neither was Haywood Jablowmi.

Angry_Marmot February 8, 2011 at 10:49 pm

Wilma Fingerdo gets the women's vote.

Negropolis February 9, 2011 at 2:03 am

Mike Cunt taps Eric Shin as GOP director for women's outreach.

Come here a minute February 8, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Dickwad Hams sounds sincere when he says that he can't continue to serve as Republican party chairman because he has lost the desire to grasp nuts.

hagajim February 8, 2011 at 3:54 pm

"I’m tired of the nuts." Aren't we all Dickwad, aren't we all.

Oblios_Cap February 8, 2011 at 4:12 pm

They keep hitting the poor guy in the chin.

EatsBabyDingos February 8, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Singing that ol Seeger tune, "Against His Chin," which answers where the nuts were.

Not_So_Much February 8, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Regardless of the poor kid's given name, he always calls his intern 'Haywood Jablome'.

problemwithcaring February 8, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Move aside, Dickwad. Time to make room for the nut-craving Douchebags of the GOP's future.

jim89048 February 8, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Almond Joy, Mounds, etc.

EdFlintstone February 8, 2011 at 6:48 pm

They need someone who really wants to be close to the nuts, like Dick Taint.

randoracer February 8, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Being from Colorado, I can tell y'all that that name couldn't have been given to a more appropriate person, although I suppose his parents could have called him Panty-wad Hams, Schmegma-wad Hams, Santorum-wad Hams or just plain Goat Fucker.

Steverino247 February 8, 2011 at 7:13 pm

"Just Plain Goat Fucker" would be just a bit pretentious as who really needs four names?

Gleem_McShineys February 8, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Emily Litella is more upset about him getting a sex change.

"There's this, well, dickwad who says 'I have loved being a man, but I’m tired of my nuts. Who has no grasp of what the state party’s hole is?' That is just shameful!"

PsycWench February 8, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Scooter Libby doesn't understand the fuss about this guy's name.

sqeptiq February 8, 2011 at 10:48 pm

It could be worse. He could be named Dipshit McGoo.

CapnFatback February 8, 2011 at 11:59 pm

No more Dickwad Hams?! But I look foward to getting their catalog every Christmas!

ttommyunger February 9, 2011 at 12:25 am

Dick, Wad, Nuts? Say it 'taint so!

Negropolis February 9, 2011 at 2:09 am

"In her concession speech, Yvonne N. Oral vowed not to go down without a bite…er…fight."

MinAgain February 9, 2011 at 11:00 am

I'm glad he's gone. He smelled unpleasantly like pig testicles.

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