Bristol’s Groundbreaking Book Has Been Censored

  the bear swipeth away

Mom burned it.
Oh no, Amazon took down the page for Bristol Palin’s memoir! Perhaps it was a dangerous book, a work of such importance that the authorities felt threatened enough to ban it! Or perhaps it was one of those “pedophile guides to love and pleasure,” and it had to be censored so that people on the Internet would stop wasting their lives yelling about it.

Bristol Palin may or may not have a memoir out this summer. For now, it’s a mystery.

Listings for an “Untitled Bristol Palin Memoir” were viewable Monday on Amazon.com (release date June) and an online catalog for HarperCollins (release date August). The listings have since been pulled.

Publicist Seale Ballenger of the Harper imprint William Morrow, the book’s presumed publisher, declined to comment on Tuesday.

The publicist couldn’t comment because she is still in shock from reading just a bit of the genius that is this memoir. Watch out, American letters. You’ve finally got your Shakespeare. This book IS going to happen, one way or another. [AP]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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