SMALL-TIME KRAUTHAMMER PLAGIARIZERS  11:26 am February 8, 2011

Professional President Newt Gingrich Says Obama ‘Amateurish’ On Egypt

by Jack Stuef

“I think the fact that they appointed a very able diplomat Frank Wisner and within two days were publicly contradicting him is you know so amateurish,” Gingrich told CNN Chief National Correspondent John King. “I was with John Bolton (former ambassador to the United Nations) last night. He said it’s inconceivable that they would be this clumsy and this out of sync. I mean just with themselves, forget the Arab world. They can’t even get the White House and their special envoy to be on the same page.”

Oh, he was with John Bolton! Did they play Risk and pretend to have real jobs? Gingrich-Bolton—that sounds like a great ticket. Surely they won’t make these same mistakes with Egypt when they take office and are exterminating the Muslims. [CNN]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 50 comments }

donner_froh February 8, 2011 at 11:33 am

I was "with" John Bolton last night.

A hellish coupling. Newtie was "with" Bolton in the same way that an obese, impotent sack of lard is with an AIDS-ridden hooker in an alley.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 8, 2011 at 11:59 am

So you're saying it was a three-way with Pammy Atlas?
~

LionelHutzEsq February 8, 2011 at 2:20 pm

I didn't know that John Bolton was an intern.

Negropolis February 9, 2011 at 12:36 am

He was "with" John Bolton in the same way that you get to "know" someone in the Biblical sense, I suspect.

Amaravilha February 8, 2011 at 11:36 am

This reminds me of the time that John Bolton was Ambassador of "I Hate You" to the UN and George Bush received a letter on Iran from him and said, "Bolton? That guy's nuttier than a PayDay."

HAHAHA… just kidding… he said, "For my money, it doesn't get any better than when he signs `When a Man Loves a Woman'" and then ordered moar bombz.

freakishlywrong February 8, 2011 at 11:40 am

Newt Gingrich is dickish on everything.

edgydrifter February 8, 2011 at 11:41 am

John Bolton is a drunken wrecking ball with a lopsided cookie duster. His whole life is a barometer of failure. If he says you're going the wrong direction, floor the accelerator and steer straight ahead.

WriteyWriterton February 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm

…and you can even close your eyes. Bolton – Nature's affirmative answer to the question, "Can you be completely wrong, always?"

drrty_martini February 9, 2011 at 12:54 am

There is a certain Lightning-Rod Conservative who is deeply concerned with that comment. He didn't know there was such stiff competition.

MinAgain February 8, 2011 at 11:41 am

Of course, they're amateurs. It's the Republicans who have practical experience with toppling governments.

Serolf_Divad February 8, 2011 at 11:43 am

"I was with John Bolton last night. He said… blah, blah, blah, blabbedy, blah, blah…"

'cause Honestly, everything Bolton says, has said and likely will ever say is a pure, un-adulterated, un-mitigated, crock of shit.

SorosBot February 8, 2011 at 11:46 am

Everything Bolton has said is "Kill all the brown people".

EatsBabyDingos February 8, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Actually, if you run a tape of the statment backwards it says "Paul is Dead. Miss him. NOW kill all the brown people. Love, the Walruss."

Or it says "Easy Rider Rifle Rack."

Serolf_Divad February 8, 2011 at 1:40 pm

If you play the John Bolton movie backwards, 10,000 innocent men, women and children come back from the dead, pick themselves up from the piles rubble that were their villages and go back to leading their ordinary lives, not bothering either you or me.

Not_So_Much February 8, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Same with Michael Bolton music — except nobody died and they're all extremely bothered by what he did to them…

Negropolis February 9, 2011 at 12:39 am

FTW

But, it gives me the biggest sadz… :(

V572625694 February 8, 2011 at 11:57 am

You wonder if unemployed proconsul Paul Bremer was there too. He was a great diplomat too.

OC_Surf_Serf February 8, 2011 at 11:43 am

Newty is merely a Professional Presidential Candidate…and lets just keep him in that job.

PsycWench February 8, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Him and Sarah. They're sort of fun to watch and it's so cute when they think they're being taken seriously.

Negropolis February 9, 2011 at 12:40 am

Someone needs to tell them that 1994 called, and it wants it rhetoric back.

harry_palmer February 8, 2011 at 11:45 am

He was with him last night, but let Bolton get cancer and the Newter will drop him like a used condom.

chascates February 8, 2011 at 11:45 am

Bolton told Newt the obvious solution was to bomb Iran.

Negropolis February 9, 2011 at 12:42 am

Bombing Iran is the cause of, and the solution to, all of America's problems. But, who will we scapegoat once we've leveled them? I mean, "Bomb Uzbekistan" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

SorosBot February 8, 2011 at 11:48 am

Um, Newt, you kind of contradict yourself by calling Obama amateurish on Egypt then quoting John Bolton, quite possibly America's most stupid man when it comes to foreign policy.

SayItWithWookies February 8, 2011 at 11:48 am

Newt and John Bolton were hanging out? Was it Napoleon Complex Night at the Has-Been Corral?

x111e7thst February 8, 2011 at 11:55 am

"The Independent's Robert Fisk broke the news that Wisner is a lead attorney at the mega law firm Patton Boggs, "which openly boasts that it advises 'the Egyptian military, the Egyptian Economic Development Agency, and has handled arbitrations and litigation on the [Mubarak] government's behalf in Europe and the US." "
http://www.acus.org/new_atlanticist/frank-wisner-
No wonder Newt thinks so highly of the guy.

ManchuCandidate February 8, 2011 at 11:56 am

I'm glad that Newty Toot took time from eating Reese's Peanut Buttercups, making up plans to divorce wife 3(?) when she gets cancer, inserting his GI Joe dolls with Kung Fu grip up his ample rectum and whatever else he does to kill time to tell Barry what to do.

Especially considering his awesome and not incompetent track record as one of the many brilliant architects of Bush's War on Iraqinam.

DemmeFatale February 8, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Yes, Newty. Cause Bolton is the "go-to" guy on all matters diplomatic.

Mumbletypeg February 8, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Gingrich-Bolton—that sounds like a great ticket
Tsk… I should've figured that pesky Gog and Magog wouldn't lay low for too long without manifesting themselves anew.

EatsBabyDingos February 8, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Funniest of the Day!

JustPixelz February 8, 2011 at 12:13 pm

The Repubican secret wish is that the Muslim Brotherhood has a prominent role in post-Mubarak Egypt. Then the 'Pubes can campaign about how secret-Muslim Obama let Egypt fall into the Caliphate. I'm pretty sure Halliburton is preparing those "Citizens United" ads already.

WriteyWriterton February 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Newt Gingrich and John Bolton – "Dumber and Inconceivably Dumber"

Ducksworthy February 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Obama clearly lacks Gnewt's gravitas (blubber).

friendlyskies February 8, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Of course, any perceived discrepancies in media coverage, public foreign policy, and behind-the-scenes strategy, particularly those involving Wisner, would seem "amateurish," if you thought the machinations of government, the Carlyle Group, and CIA had been revealed in their entirety to an ostracized outsider like you, Newtie old boy. Isn't it about time for you to audition for Dancing with the Stars, before you're entirely forgotten and lose your chance?

Schmannnity February 8, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Let's see. If Newt were President, would he wait for Mubarak to have cancer before dumping him?

politics_nerd February 8, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Dipshit says what? Shouldn't you be out cheating on your new wife, Newtie boy?
/for real

I for one do not believe for a moment that you'd be cheating on her with Mr. Bolton.
/sarcasm

LionelHutzEsq February 8, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Newt may be right, as the pros like Bolton know that the whole Egypt thing would have been best handled by a 20-megaton warhead right on top of the Sphinx.

Let's just see how brotherly the Muslim Brotherhood is when they are melted into the pavement.

LionelHutzEsq February 8, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Of course, if Newt was President, he would have dropped his wife for Mubarak's daughter, therefore sealing our alliance with Egypt.

PublicLuxury February 8, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Jesus Christ. Let's just bomb Egypt already and get it over with. President Gringrich is just playing coy by leading Egypt on about his support. Jeebus thought the Egypt was B.A.D. so we must remove it from earth. Serial marriages and affairs are A-OK with baby Jeebus though. Just sayin'

XOhioan February 8, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Where are the unemployed liberal pundit-things? I'm trying to think of equivalents to Sarah, Newt and Bolton, but am at a loss. Doesn't Tom Daschle want AP to buy him lunch? I guess Robert Reich says a lot of stuff, but he has a real job and I'm pretty sure that 90 percent of what he says doesn't make it into a CNN screen crawl.

Jason_inthe_Peg February 8, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Where's the Dread Pirate Roberts when you need him?

problemwithcaring February 8, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Ooooh! Bolton and Gingrich together. What's it like having that much flaccid in one room?

dcjdjay February 8, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Well, Newt would have done it professionally. He'd have dumped Hosni while fellating the next big military Pharaoh.

BarackMyWorld February 8, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Okay…the Republican frontrunners are now apparently Mitt Romney (a professional hypocrite), Newt Gingrich (a professional asshole), and Sarah Palin (a professional moron)….let that sink in for a minute.

Do they even WANT to win? Has there EVER been a worse crop of Republican candidates?

Gingrich just has this thick history of saying and doing all these outlandishly mean things about every topic, ever. Palin is an incoherent mess who cannot organize a sentence, let alone a winning presidential run. Romney's claim to fame is being the flip-flopping governor of a state that hates him, and before that a CEO who fired people for a living.

The only thing the Republicans have going for them is that talk radio and Fox News do such a good job brainwashing the nation's most likely of likely voters: middle-aged, middle class white people and the elderly.

ttommyunger February 8, 2011 at 11:29 pm

My only question is, knowing the American Electorate, which of them will win in 2012?

Troubledog February 8, 2011 at 11:33 pm

Don't count Huckabee out! That guy luuuuuvs him some campaigning! The deity worshipers have really gone alllll out this cycle. We're looking forward to new heights in spending and jingoism as well as more fun from that wacky wildcard Tea Party and their costumed historic characters! Back to you, BMW!

Negropolis February 9, 2011 at 12:48 am

Okay…the Republican frontrunners are now apparently Mitt Romney (a professional hypocrite), Newt Gingrich (a professional asshole), and Sarah Palin (a professional moron)….

HA!

ttommyunger February 8, 2011 at 11:31 pm

We all know Newtie is just jealous 'cause Barry is hitting that hot black pussy and Newt never had the guts (or the opportunity) to give some a go. Also, that Barry can actually throw a good fuck, wheras the Newtster never quite got the hang of it…

Negropolis February 9, 2011 at 12:31 am

Amateurish, eh?

'Cause, playing power politics all.the.goddamned. time and building yourself up to become so personally unliked and abhored, and then being uncermoniously kicked out of the legislature and tossed on your ass is the way to go, right? Toad.

Doesn't Newt have some new wife to cheat on and some other new Christian sect to convert to? Time's a'wasting, Amphibian Gingrich.

BTW, just so we get the facts right, it was Frank Wisner who was contradicting the administration, not the other way around.

MsQuasimodo February 10, 2011 at 9:48 am

What the fuck will it take to get these two assclowns out of public discourse alltogether? Regular sex scandals and douchebagginess doesn't do it. Would pictures of them together in a motel room with underage boys, a pony, Rushbo, and a kilo of blow do it?

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