Canada Urging HuffPo Bloggers To Revolt, Like In Egypt

by Ken Layne

Stop stop, stop blogging, stop blogging ...There is literally nothing more important on Earth than America Online’s purchase of Arianna Huffington’s celebriporn blog. Nothing. This is why Canadian agents provocateurs are leaving comments on the NYT calling for insurrection. Insurrection! This particular Canadian (we hide his assumed name to protect ourselves from the tanks of oppression) wants HuffPo bloggers to quit writing free blog posts for the HuffPo. Sounds like sedition to us!

Didn’t anybody pay attention to Barack Obama’s toastmasters presentation at the Chamber of Commerce meeting in the IHOP this morning? We are all pro-business now! ALL OF US. Write your free blog posts and do it like you love it, or else AOL could fail.

Listen to this traitor Canadian:

It is time to rebel, Egypt style. Don’t file your blogs unless there is at least a token reward, a minimum $20 for well thought copy of 60 words or less, and much more for in-depth pieces.
Rebel. Bloggers are being taken advantage of on Huffington Post and on other so-called news sites which depend on free labor. Demand payment. Rebel.
Rudy H______
Canada

Canada! We knew it.

Uh, twenty dollars is a bit steep for anything that gets less than about 20,000 page views. (Trust us on this.) But we agree that Huffington Post bloggers should get like a dollar per blog post, as long as they write no more than two blog posts per month. That’s the ultimate goal, for America: Reduce the number of blog posts and twitters and status updates and comments and everything, just reduce reduce reduce, to save money, for health care or something.

[NYT/Wall Street Journal]

 
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{ 116 comments }

sarjo February 7, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Hi I am writing this comment after much well thought copy. Please pay me money now.

Barbara_i February 7, 2011 at 4:35 pm

The posters should be paid. The rest of us can just be whores and hockey players, eh?
I will be late to the IHOP. Soros, order me some Moons Over My Hammy and I'll bring the usual flask of gin.

hockeymom February 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm

What if I want to be a whore FOR a hockey player? Double my loonies, now!

Beowoof February 7, 2011 at 4:56 pm

As a former hockey player let me say whore's are always welcome. However, that was a long time ago when I played hockey and these days I remember the hockey more than the whores.

Zvi_Bleindmeis February 7, 2011 at 5:54 pm

I've always wondered: what's the difference between a hockey mom and a whore?

Boredw/Gravity February 7, 2011 at 5:58 pm

People actually like whores.

jus_wonderin February 7, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Hockey Mom's like a good puck every now and then???

Zvi_Bleindmeis February 7, 2011 at 6:11 pm

The correct answer was: Lipstick, and possibly fewer missing incisors.

Negropolis February 8, 2011 at 6:13 am

One gets payed for her work, and one gets an allowance?

SorosBot February 7, 2011 at 5:30 pm

I've made the order; but you've better be careful with the gin, I don't think IHOP is BYOB.

FlownOver February 7, 2011 at 5:41 pm

IHOP:US::Tim Horton's:Canadiastan

WriteyWriterton February 7, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Can we get two straws with the gin? Because I'm, you know, done!

Serolf_Divad February 7, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Rebel Egypt style: but who will be their moses? Or is that the wrong context?

weejee February 7, 2011 at 4:44 pm

A parting of the C notes?

mereoblivion February 7, 2011 at 5:02 pm

Now Moses supposes his prose is all roses,
But Moses supposes feloniously.

Numbat_Dundee February 7, 2011 at 5:08 pm

The bloggers would have to part Lake Erie and the board of AOL would have to learn how to drive chariots so that they can follow them and get the full Cecil B. De Mille treatment.

BornInATrailer February 7, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Make It Rain! (Loonies)

Beowoof February 7, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Throw the Twoney's, twice the value.

edgydrifter February 7, 2011 at 4:38 pm

If they only paid for "well thought" copy, HuffPo could thrive on less than $100 per year.

genxr February 7, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Can't wait to see the Fox News map showing where HuffPo is.

Boredw/Gravity February 7, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Right near Uranus.

meufchelou February 7, 2011 at 4:42 pm

"Uh, twenty dollars is a bit steep for anything that gets less than about 20,000 page views. (Trust us on this.) "
Really , Ken? Isn't that because you ARE the Man, oppressing the impoverished comedic hipster bloggers. FREE RILEY!

LesBontemps February 7, 2011 at 5:02 pm

No, "PAY RILEY."

And stop whoring him out to Breitbart, also, too.

Cicada February 7, 2011 at 5:12 pm

You were downfisted by the oppressors, so I upfisted you for freedom. Surely this is an act on par with the Egyptians rebelling against Mubarak.

SOLIDARITY 4EVAR!

LesBontemps February 7, 2011 at 5:18 pm

I will nevar forgit!!11!1!!

Ken Layne February 7, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Riley is free to go back to HuffPo whenever he likes.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 7, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Now we see the oppression inherent in the system!
~

OneYieldRegular February 7, 2011 at 4:43 pm

To steal a line from Betsy and Pansy: "We're planning a coup but we have to have a latte first."

mereoblivion February 7, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Will rebel for falafel.

ManchuCandidate February 7, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Stupid Canada City.

MsElla February 7, 2011 at 4:44 pm

It took the AOL deal for people to realize that working for free for a thriving site is pretty damn stupid?

forgracie February 7, 2011 at 4:44 pm

$20 bucks for 60 words. Shit, I'm starting to suspect Ken has been taking advantage of the Wonkette illuminati.

HolyMaracas February 7, 2011 at 4:44 pm

"It's time to rebel. Egypt style"
Wait…didn't Egypt shut down the Internet? I'd pay money to see these "bloggers" trying to revolt without an internet connection (or via HuffPo/AOL dialup perhaps?).

jim89048 February 7, 2011 at 7:50 pm

AOL, tear down this firewall.

SorosBot February 7, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Mr. (?) Canadian, what you are advocating, people stopping work until the conditions of their employment are improved, is called a strike, not rebelling.

Tundra Grifter February 7, 2011 at 4:59 pm

SorosBot: If there had been unions in Silicon Valley before the Dot.Bomb, all those good people wouldn't have been working 100 hours a week hoping for a major payday in a couple of years.

PocketsTheClown February 7, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Its time to get a milkshake. Canadians are retarded.

ifthethunderdontgetya February 7, 2011 at 4:48 pm

(we hide his assumed name to protect ourselves from the tanks of oppression)

Nice try, Ken, but the Barack Helicopters of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security have seen through your parenthetical camouflage and they are outside your house!
~

emmelemm February 7, 2011 at 6:18 pm

Yeah, I'm not seeing that his assumed name is hidden. But anywho!

Extemporanus™ February 7, 2011 at 4:48 pm

♪♫ Blog like an Egyptian… ♪♫

(Never say die, puntards!)

mereoblivion February 7, 2011 at 5:09 pm

All the cops in the fatir shop say
A-O-A-O
A-O-L

SexySmurf February 7, 2011 at 4:51 pm

A minimum $20 for well thought copy of 60 words or less? How much for the celebrities that slip their nips or flash their vages?

Sophist [APPLESAUCE] February 7, 2011 at 4:51 pm

I am totally willing to be a scab. I will do 60 words or less for five bucks plus all the homeopathy I can eat.

PocketsTheClown February 7, 2011 at 4:56 pm

I'll take some pizza.

widestanceroman February 7, 2011 at 4:53 pm

We need to find out who's behind these Canadians there.

HedonismBot February 7, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Huffpo is pretty revolting.

donner_froh February 7, 2011 at 4:54 pm

I will start reading the Huffington Post when Arianna starts paying me to do so.

Grief_Lessons February 8, 2011 at 8:46 am

In that light, twenty dollars for sixty words sounds about right.

Monsieur_Grumpe February 7, 2011 at 4:55 pm

They are tired of working for corn syrup. They want maple syrup and not that fake Aunt Jemima stuff.

Toomush_Infer February 7, 2011 at 4:56 pm

One….two…three….four….aw, screw it, let's just call it $20…thanks!….

SorosBot February 7, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Careful there, if the bloggers want to be treated like professionals someone might actually start fact-checking their work; which would eliminate at least half the content.

Beowoof February 7, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Ah some Tim Horton's coffee and change from the Big Bucks I made off of Huff Po.

Terry February 7, 2011 at 5:00 pm

How about paying the people who write on health topics on HuffPost NOT to write at all?

chickensmack February 7, 2011 at 5:00 pm

HuffPo has six thousand contributors?! That's more links than I look at in a year!

Somehow, I picture six thousand twenty-somethings wearing Tina Fey-ish glasses, bundled to their cheeks in a scarf and tuke, because they're typing something on their iBooks in frostbitten fingers, feeling the only heat in their bathroom apartment coming from its dainty little processor fan, because you can't earn royalty checks on unclicked articles.

Amazingly enough, they all have moderate-to-high pee points.

Ken Layne February 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Twenty-somethings will barely work when they *do* get paid.

In reality, the armies of HuffPo bloggers are mostly weird housewives in their 40s and 50s and 60s, writing these liberal blog posts about whatever. There is nothing wrong with that, other than everybody should quit blogging and facebooking and everything, but there certainly aren't any 20-something hipsters that I know of, beyond maybe a couple of interns in the LA office.

UW8316154 February 7, 2011 at 7:47 pm

I guess that explains alot of their "Life" articles.

chickensmack February 7, 2011 at 8:43 pm

So… you're saying that some Canadien is encouraging a bunch of gin-swilling, menopausal cougars to revolt for a twenny?

Fuck!! I thought we could count on Canada as a last refuge once Sarah Trademark takes over the country. Now that I see they're just word whores. Now I have to speak Spanish after 2012, because being a drug mule in Mexico is now my only retirement option.

wondering where i am February 8, 2011 at 1:24 am

Weird Housewives of the World Unite! You have nothing to lose but your cellulite.

Tundra Grifter February 7, 2011 at 5:00 pm

"The peasants are revolting."

"I'll say!"

SayItWithWookies February 7, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Shit, I didn't even know Antedeluvians On Line had money. Or is this just some sort of '80s nostalgia/RR's birthday prank?

Negropolis February 8, 2011 at 6:23 am

This is the only site where I'd see the word "Antedeluvians" mentioned in casual conversaton. Well done.

I've heard that AOL is older than (assorted bodyparts of) Joan Rivers.

Bonzos_Bed_Time February 7, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Do I have to drink Molsons?

Beowoof February 7, 2011 at 5:06 pm

As a college student at Niagara, I can say much Molson's Golden was consumed on campus. Somewhere along the line, Molson's Golden lost its panache and was replaced by Labbats. Now Labbats Blue is the Brew of Choice here in Western NY.

Bonzos_Bed_Time February 7, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Everything good, all in one can.

Crank_Tango February 7, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Gross to Blue. It was great for dollar blues night at the Icon back in the day, but Canadian or gtfo!!!

LakeAfflicted February 8, 2011 at 9:00 am

I was like, I don't have to drink this stuff just because I live in Buffalo right now, and they were all like, nobody's going to bring you a Genny you Rochester tart, drink it down. I did and it was so awful I took a bath in Canadian Club when I got home.

Sharkey February 7, 2011 at 5:57 pm

No. Elsinores, eh?

Boredw/Gravity February 7, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Okanagan Hard Apple Cider for everyone!

OneTrueLiberal February 7, 2011 at 5:03 pm

Franklin was never paid more that $5 for his "Fireside Chats."

But they were all written by the boys at The Daily Worker anyway.

Cordially,

Eleanor

Beowoof February 7, 2011 at 5:08 pm

Ah did your online porn service cut out, is that why you came in here for a break from the constant masturbation?

Barrelhse February 7, 2011 at 5:53 pm

LS/MFT

Negropolis February 8, 2011 at 6:25 am

Why don't you get back to doing what you do best, Neilist. You know, sucking dick at The Daily Wanker.

LesBontemps February 7, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Will Al-Jazeera be covering the HufPo revolt?

Extemporanus™ February 7, 2011 at 5:20 pm

No, but AOL-Jizzeera will be.

Extemporanus™ February 7, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Any suggestions for what color we should change our Gravatards to as a showing of solidarity with HuffPo's beanless hobobloggers?

Cicada February 7, 2011 at 5:26 pm

I vote for white, as it contains all of the colors in the spectrum. We can adopt a bunch of cool slogans too, like "White Pride" and when we march, we can chant "White Power". It'll be awesome!

fuflans February 7, 2011 at 5:06 pm

blame canada.

Plowmon February 7, 2011 at 5:07 pm

That damn soshalist Rudy better watch his ass, Sarah Palin lives next door! LESS REGULATION, NO MOAR COMMIES, LET THE FREE MARKET RAIN!!!

Guppy06 February 7, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Are we talking Canadian Ameros, or US gold bullion?

zhubajie February 7, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Hell money! You spend in the next world!

Negropolis February 8, 2011 at 6:27 am

Loonies for all; tiny Canadian flags for others!

LiveToServeYa February 7, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Whore Diamonds or nothing.

Troubledog February 7, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Pay for writing blog posts? hahahaha this idea is retarded go away retarded child

Pay for generating page views: extremely viable, self-policing, vibrant and sustainable

Toomush_Infer February 7, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Okay….A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P…P….or you can just pay me $20….

DonnyKerabotsos February 7, 2011 at 5:23 pm

So writing is a job, huh?

Well, sifting through the Kim Kardashian posts (let me take a guess– she hates her latest magazine spread) and guessing the 'celebrity baby' while searching for some actual news on HP could also be described as a job…

So where do I send the bill?

DashboardBuddha February 7, 2011 at 5:25 pm

All the hacks that make keyboards clack say

Weyyy ohhh, weyyy oh

Blog like an Egyptian

Extemporanus™ February 7, 2011 at 5:47 pm

I want my two dollars!

[NOTE: Because IntenseDebate blogs cocks in hell, it is unfortunately necessary for one to refresh the page after it loads in order to jump to the specific comment referenced to by that link which thereby renders any marginal entertainment value it may or may not contain utterly unworth the extra effort required of one to uncover it.]

SorosBot February 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm

And you know who else profits off the work of people they don't pay?

wondering where i am February 8, 2011 at 1:27 am

Husbands?

__kth__ February 7, 2011 at 5:31 pm

If I could get a six-pack of Keystone for a week's worth of comments here…I'd still be down 3/4 case of Keystone. But it would be a start.

Come here a minute February 7, 2011 at 5:39 pm

I refuse to comment on this post until I am paid a fair wage for my labor!

Nothing? Yeah, that sounds about right to me — I'm glad we got that settled.

doxastic February 7, 2011 at 5:43 pm

(*plays Bread and Roses in the background*) Solidarity forever, Comrade Rudy.

jus_wonderin February 7, 2011 at 6:03 pm

It took me forever to load this story (I used my aol connection over an att network). So, what's all the flap about the Time-Warner deal????? Hunh???

gef05 February 7, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Egyptian style.

Is that like "Greek style"?

MarionNYNY February 7, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Aren't most of the bloggers on Huff Post movie stars? Do they really need the money? The issue should be: should movie stars be allowed to blog for free while millions of authentic bloggers starve? Screw putting a donate button on your site, we should unionize. I'm sure people would be thrilled to pay for content on the Internet. There's so little available free.

Steverino247 February 7, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Music to blog by: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCFibtD3H_k

To the stairwell out of your mom's basement, comrades!

Redhead February 7, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Anyone who would write for no compensation has about as much talent as is required to write for the HuffPo (and not a bit more).

GeoatBeck February 7, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Like the can actually expect to get paid for that crap.

Maybe I can get paid if I stop?

cheaphits February 7, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Alright! Money fer nothin' – when do we get the chicks fer free?

chascates February 7, 2011 at 7:41 pm

I'd like a nickel for every 100 tips I send in and a quarter for every 20 you publish. Or at least pictures of drunken Wonkette interns.

Pragmatist2 February 7, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Stupid Canadians!
Here in Capitalist America, you don't actually have to do anything to get rich.
Divorcing well is quite enough thank you. It worked for Zsa Zsa and it worked for Arianna.

sezme February 7, 2011 at 9:02 pm

This article as over a thousand page views now, Ken. You can afford to put cheese on that Whopper tonight!

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi February 7, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Why did Huffington Post censor the Jesse Ventura 9/11 Article after publishing it?

Beanball February 7, 2011 at 11:33 pm

We don't know, but that's merely one of the reasons we don't read it.

problemwithcaring February 8, 2011 at 1:16 am

I beg to differ – censoring Jesse Ventura is the sole redeeming quality of Huffington Post.

Beanball February 8, 2011 at 1:40 am

Well, I double beg you. Jesse is a hoot and a highly trained professional entertainer, unlike *some* people.

Oldskool_ February 7, 2011 at 10:22 pm

"Coach, how do you feel about your teams execution?"

"I'm all for it."

Panty_Buns February 7, 2011 at 10:50 pm

The Huffington Post Does have a few good bloggers like Valerie Plame Wilson, Naomi Wolf, Glenn Greenwald and Bianca Jagger but there is no way they have 6,000 genuine news and celebrity gossip constipating bloggers. Many of the alleged bloggers there have dumb mean snark but lack the wit or insight that Wonkette commenters have. Will AOL go AWOL over the quality of the Huffington Post's news constipation abilities? Will "net neutrality become "net neutered"? I'll be looking for Wankerette followups regarding the Huffer.

Beanball February 7, 2011 at 11:44 pm

Greenwald actually works for Salon dot com, and is an occasional contributor to the Cato Institute's website.<shudder> Anything you see by him on HuffPo is a cross-post. But shit, HuffPo gets over 20 million pairs of eyes a month, which is pretty damn impressive whether AOL cares about it's high fructose content or not.

Given the price tag of 315 million simoleans, they've already demonstrated that they probably don't care.

mrblifil February 7, 2011 at 11:51 pm

I remember for a while there David Mamet was blogging political cartoons that he seemed to have scrawled on the back of a cocktail napkin. They were desperately unfunny. I chimed in to the effect that he should restrict himself to sharing the ones that at least got him laid. Shortly after he stopped posting them and I stopped patronizing HuffPo (except to peek at Katie Perry's boobs every now and again).

Beanball February 8, 2011 at 1:45 am

Katie Perry. Boobs. Oh my.

Negropolis February 8, 2011 at 6:09 am

Wait, when was the last time Canadians rebelled over anything? For fuck's sake, your head of state is still Grandma Lizzy sitting on fancy pot wearing a fancy hat in a fancy palace over there in Sharron Angleland.

I dare you syrup-sipping, puck-slapping, maple leaf-worshipping moose jockeys to come down here and try to forcibly join Michigan to your most unholy dominion.

(**Psst…hurry, please. They beat us when you're not looking**)

thefrontpage February 8, 2011 at 11:18 am

AOL buying The Huffington Post is like Border's buying Blockbuster.

Monsieur_Grumpe February 7, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Welcome back Mr. Returns. You want to hug?

UW8316154 February 7, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Group hug for Mr. Returns!!

Negropolis February 8, 2011 at 6:21 am

Maybe y'all should shoot at him…you know, to make feel more at home.

Don't retreat, reload!

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