Oh what is this weird thing we just found in the archives from, uh, 2007? Answers at the bottom.
If you’re the kind of DC gal who loves douchesack Young Republicans and you trawl Craigslist for fuck buddies yet you’re still too stupid to find a basic Ronald Reagan biography online, then have we ever got the man for you!
washington, DC craigslist > district of columbia > men seeking women
Take this quiz – 24
Reply to: pers-403333581@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-22, 2:32PM EDTIf you can answer even 5 or 6 of these questions (without having to look at Wikipedia), then you might be the right girl for me.
1. What was Ronald Reagan’s middle name?
2. What was Reagan’s birthday?
3. In what state was Ronald Reagan born?
4. In 1966, Reagan defeated a sitting California governor. That governor’s son currently holds statewide elected office in California – what office does he hold?
5. What was the name of Reagan’s “roommate”?
6. What was Ronald Reagan’s high school nickname?
7. How many lives did Reagan save while working as a lifeguard?
8. Fill in the blank: “Go out there and win one for ___________.”
9. What college did Reagan graduate from?
10. For whom did Reagan give his famous 1964 speech “A Time for Choosing”?
Facts are stupid things!
Answers: 1. Vilsack; 2. 9/11; 3. Guam; 4. Al Franken; 5. Jeff Gannon Sr.; 6. “Cumshot”; 7. Nine lines of stem cells; 8. “the prophet Mohammad, peace be upon him”; 9. MIT; 10. Sammy Davis, Jr.
Take This Quiz – 24 [Craigslist]
{ 49 comments }
…are not Ronald Reagan.
… have wasted your life.
are studying for the entrance exam to a fundamentalist Christian "college".
"5. What was the name of Reagan’s “roommate”?
It's not Bonzo?
Well, that is what he called him when it was "Bed Time."
"Go out there and win on for the ___________"
ans: Super Bowl?
#3" In what state was Ronald Reagan born?"
Infancy
Original Sin…AS ARE WE ALL!!!!
Hmmm… same one he died in then.
6. What was Ronald Reagan’s high school nickname?
The Great Miscommunicator
1. What was Ronald Reagan’s middle name?
Anusburger
5. What was the name of Reagan’s “roommate”? Pegglesworth Noonaningtonshire?
Please don't worry
there'll be no fuss
she was nobody's nothing
I'm picturing a big wet spot on his St. Ronnie bedspread.
I'd say something witty, but I'm too busy fuming over the fact that there's nonzero odds that this douchenozzle, unlike yours truly, may have somehow gotten laid between 2007 and the present day
Yes, he may have had "sex" more recently than you, but with what? His options are a shrieking harpy, a saddlebacking fundy, a tranny, a twelve year old boy, a 58 year old man, or some combination thereof.
At any rate, has it really been so long since our brave and intrepid editors went trolling Craigslist for postings? Or have they gotten duller since Craig and Foley left town?
HAHAHA YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FUNNY THAT IS THE LAST TIME I GOT LAID SHE ACTUALLY *WAS* A SADDLEBACKING FUNDIEithinkimgoingtocry.
At least you nobly spread the Santorum, no?
I was going to suggest you lower your standards but – yeah, never mind.
Ken, no reason to mislead about our 40th President. The correct answers are as follows:
1. What was Ronald Reagan’s middle name?
Mommy
2. What was Reagan’s birthday?
It's all right, he can't remember it either.
3. In what state was Ronald Reagan born?
Trick question. There were no states back then. The actual answer is Pangaea.
4. In 1966, Reagan defeated a sitting California governor. That governor’s son currently holds statewide elected office in California – what office does he hold?
Official Bikini and Bong Inspector, Oakland, California.
5. What was the name of Reagan’s “roommate”?
Trick question number 2. Everyone knows it was Lincoln that had a "roommate." Reagan much preferred getting down to the dockyards when "Mommy" wasn't available to do what she does best.
Correct answers continued:
6. What was Ronald Reagan’s high school nickname?
"Red." Both because of his socialistic leanings in high school, and because of his fame in deflowering freshmen.
7. How many lives did Reagan save while working as a lifeguard?
A small fraction of the Marines he had killed for no particular reason other than an attempt to be "muy Macho" in Lebanon.
8. Fill in the blank: “Go out there and win one for ___________.”
'Big Business.' We would have also have accepted "Corporate Interest," "The Rich," or "Damn, the Teleprompter is broken again."
9. What college did Reagan graduate from?
Trick question number 3. College is for elites. Reagan was too busy serving his country in WWII to waste time on education.
10. For whom did Reagan give his famous 1964 speech “A Time for Choosing”?
The latest starlet that he knocked up.
10. For whom did Reagan give his famous 1964 speech “A Time for Choosing Which One is Stump Broke”?
Borax's 20 mule team?
11. When his aids advised him the Challenger had exploded, what was the comment of this astute and engaged leader of the Free World?
(d) "Is that the one with the teacher?"
12. Spouse Nancy was heard over the roar of the Presidential chopper (which acted as the president's non-hearing aid) just after rhe press pool had asked why something important wasn't done: "We are doing all we can." What was Reagan's response to the press corps?
(c) "We are doing all we can."
Q: What was the change in the national debt between when Reagan entered and when he left office?
A: Heh. Tip O'Neill. Heh indeed.
/goddamn YRs.
Betting this guy has a dick like a pimple and his only previous "dates" have been video games.
Speaking of Fun Facts: This Sunday will be the first time in seven years that Grover Norquist will have gotten an erection. He will immediately rename his penis "Ronald Reagan".
Grover isn't getting it up unless there's a boys choir doing the halftime show.
I'm just going to answer all the questions with "buttsecks" and let others deal with the horrifying consequences. It's the Reagan thing to do.
This is pretty much the best thread in the history of teh Wonkett. Thumbs up for all…
Go out and win one for the herpes!
I'm a little late, but the correct answer to each of the ten questions is
"I don't give a fuck. Go sodomize Zombie Reagan' s enormous .left nostril and then die. Thank you."
"Are you better off now than you were four years ago?"
That's the difference between the Republicans in Reagan's ascendancy and now. In 1980 they hoped that the Democrats screwed things up enough that the answer was no. Now they've hoped that Dubya screwed things up enough that two years from now, the answer will still be no. They went from the party of hoping things are bad to the party of hoping things are so bad they can't be fixed in a Democrat's term. Fuck Ronald Reagan, the Republicans, and the horse they had themselves filmed riding in on.
I am proud that I don't know any of the answers. Wait! I do know 'the Gipper'. Time for another lobotomy.
8. Fill in the blank: “Go out there and win one for ___________.”
SATAN. (Ronald Wilson Reagan, 666)
~
The scare quotes around "roommate" make me wonder what the real answer is.
You know what's gross? I actually know the answers to, like, 5 or 6 of those questions. Fuckin' '80s, GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Oh, and I'm not sleeping with that dude, either; let's get that straight up front.
Remembering isn't so bad, as long as you're not fondly remembering
And you, Wonketteers, here are ten questions whose answers you should know:
1) Reagan was president of the Screen Actor's Guild six times. During that time, he used his position to benefit one Hollywood company. The company's initials were _____.
2) When Ronald Reagan got behind in his income taxes, he was bailed out with a two-week gig at a Mafia-owned casino in Las Vegas. The name of the hotel/casino was ____.
3) Nancy Reagan's adoptive father was a doctor. What gag did interns and residents working with him like to pull?
4) What was Nancy's nickname in Hollywood before she married Reagan?
5) The nickname was in honor of what performance speciality?
6) Who was James Rector?
7) What institution did Reagan describe as "a haven for communist sympathizers, protesters and sex deviants?"
8) Reagan told a group in April of 1970, "If it takes a bloodbath, let's get it over with. No more appeasement." He was discussing what dire threat?
9) Reagan appointed a lumber industry lobbyist, James Watt, Secretary of the Interior. Watt banned what band from playing on the Washington Mall in 1983 because it would "attract the wrong element.?"
10) Reagan, subpoenaed before a grand jury, appeared to experience amnesia during his testimony. When did this occur?
Answers: 1) MCA; 2) Last Frontier; 3) Telling black mothers they should name their child after him. He was a virulent racist. Nancy described him as "a man of great integrity who exemplified old-fashioned values."; 4) Jaws; 5) fellatio; 6) A spectator at a demonstration in Berkeley who was killed by police called out by Reagan to quell a student protest.; 7) The University of California campus at Berkeley. ; 8) Student anti-war protests.; 9) The Beach Boys; 10) February 5, 1962. Reagan failed to recall the major decisions that had been made when SAG, whose president he was, had granted MCA, his longtime employer, exclusive rights to engage in film production. No other talent agency was ever given this waiver.
That picture looks very similar to the "angry Jesus" picture.
If not for Shrub, Ronnie would win the "Worst President Ever" competition hands down.
I would argue that he still should. Cowboy Caligula may have been technically worse, but the Gypper made his criminal excesses and absurdities possible, and legitimized them in advance. When they do the autopsy on our country, it's Reagan's fingerprints they'll find.
Neither one of them can hold a candle to Nixon. Nixon killed America, Reagan buried it and Shrub pissed on the grave.
It seems you skipped over what Bill Clinton and Barack Obama have done to restore Democracy, liberalism, and the fortunes of the average American.
Allow me:
Bill Clinton made sure the Democratic Party was nothing but Republican Lite.
Barack Obama took a deservedly disgraced Republican Party, a 60 seat Senate majority, and a huge majority in the House and squandered ALL OF IT in just two years.
So now he's sucking face with Bill O'Reilly on the Super Bowl pregame show, and the rest of us are more fvcked than ever.
Heckuva job,
BrownieBarry!~
This bears so much repeating.
Oh I don't know. The William Henry Harrison Administration seems to get a lot of votes for Worst President Ever.
I think we can all safely assume that the "Ronald Regan Questionnaire" method of courtship was a failure.
And if not, then sterilizations for all, just to be safe.
Ronnie and his piss-on-the-working-class religion will destroy us yet.
I remember he used to be angry about some stuff.
And then he'd make jokes about stuff.
And then he'd be all serious like.
And then he'd walk off in a fog.
Sort of like an actor, only worse.
Trick questions. Ronnie sprang, fully-formed, from the belly of Satan. He spent the first 14 years of his existence hiding in the woods and eating babies until he met Nancy and she convinced him to get plastic surgery to remove the horns.
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